Rewriting the Body Story With Alyssa Goldwater

In this episode, I’m joined by Alyssa Goldwater, author, plus size advocate, and such a powerful voice in the Jewish Orthodox world.

Alyssa shares her personal story of unlearning diet culture, healing her relationship with her body, and what it really looks like to step into acceptance and freedom.

We also talk about the beautiful work she’s doing through her children’s book Every Body Is, and how we can begin raising kids with a completely different foundation than the one so many of us grew up with.

This conversation is honest, grounding, and full of hope. I’m so glad you’re here for it.

Connect with Alyssa on Instagram: https://www.instagram.com/alyssagoldwater/
and click here to find the post mentioned in the podcast 

I would love to hear from you on Instagram!
https://www.instagram.com/rebeccasigalastudio

Transcript

Rebecca Sigala 0:00

Hello. Hello. Welcome back to the Body Image Revolution. You guys are going to love this episode. It is so good. I was just dying to share it with you for the last few weeks, and I'm so glad that it's finally out. And if it's your first time here, this is really an amazing episode to stumble upon. It is. Really powerful and I'm just glad that you're here with us. If you don't know me yet, my name's Rebecca Sigala and I'm a body confidence coach and a boudoir photographer, and for over 12 years, which is kind of crazy to say, I've been on a mission to help women feel amazing and sexy and radiant in their bodies. Not just feel accepting of them, but really fully embrace them without having to change their bodies in order to feel that way. I am really excited to share. This conversation with you, I really connected with this. Incredible woman. The conversation flowed so beautifully and we had so much to talk about. I bet we could have spoken for hours. Her name is Alyssa Goldwater. She's a digital influencer and plus size advocate, and when I came across her page initially on Instagram, it was just. So refreshing to see, especially to see someone in the Jewish Orthodox world speaking so clearly and passionately about body image and diet, culture and beauty standards from such a real and lived place. Alyssa shares her story with us. With a lot of honesty and authenticity and we talk about eating disorders and diet culture online, what it can feel like inside the Jewish community. And one of my favorite parts of the episode is toward the end when we begin to talk about her incredible children's book. Every Body is, we get into what it's like to be working on and healing our own relationship with our body, while also trying to raise our own kids differently than we were raised and. How we can actually do that. Like how can we actually help them cultivate confidence and. An amazing relationship with their bodies and food and movement in a way that we didn't receive. She offers really grounded and practical advice. So definitely stay until the end. And I think this episode is just truly a beautiful reminder that this work is not something that you just complete one day or that you have to do perfectly. It's an ever evolving journey and one that can bring. So much more freedom and so much more inner peace than you could even imagine. So let's get into it. Hi,

Alyssa Goldwater 2:40

how are you?

Rebecca Sigala 2:41

I'm good. How are you doing?

Alyssa Goldwater 2:43

I'm good.

Rebecca Sigala 2:43

thanks so much for coming on today. I'm really excited to have you. Long awaited for me.

Alyssa Goldwater 2:49

I'm so happy to be here. Really

Rebecca Sigala 2:51

amazing. Well, one of the reasons why I asked you on is because, well, first of all, I follow you and I love all the honesty and the way that you show up online and really being an advocate for women and for body positivity, and it's just really special to see, especially in the Jewish religious world. And I was curious, I mean, we have so much to talk about, but my first question is, how did you get into this kind of advocacy and how would you describe it?

Alyssa Goldwater 3:26

Great question. So my whole life, I struggled with my body image. I struggled with, you know, food and my relationship with food. I had family members who were very close to me, who were always encouraging me to lose weight and, were equating beauty, looking good health with the size of my body and. I just thought that was how the world was. I didn't see anything abnormal about that and I also always felt bad about the food I was eating, the number on the scale and how my body looked in clothes. But I thought that that was normal. I thought that was just how it was supposed to be and unfortunately

Rebecca Sigala 4:13

is normal for so many people.

Alyssa Goldwater 4:15

Right, exactly. So I bought into that at a very young age, like in fourth grade, very young age, and was always just striving to be a smaller version of myself for many, many. How old

Rebecca Sigala 4:28

was that? Like eight years old?

Alyssa Goldwater 4:30

Nine.

Rebecca Sigala 4:31

Wow. Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 4:32

Nine, 10. Yeah. and for 25 years I continued to strive to be that smaller version of myself. never really pausing to realize how. Sad, it was that I could never be happy with something that obviously was not as easy to change as I would've hoped do at the time. Mm-hmm. like that's, what

Rebecca Sigala 5:02

were your thoughts at the time? Were you just like, I just have to get there? Like, I have to try harder, I have to do more.

Alyssa Goldwater 5:08

Yeah. It was just, go work out as much as you can. You know, eat certain foods, don't eat certain foods, restrict what I'm eating, and fit into the smallest size possible and look the smallest possible. You know, it was like all about that, getting that thigh gap in between my legs. Oh

Rebecca Sigala 5:28

my God. That thigh gap. Yep. That gap. How old are you, by the way?

Alyssa Goldwater 5:32

I'm, I'll be 35 this year.

Rebecca Sigala 5:34

Okay. I'm 36. So we're working off the same wavelengths. Yes. Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 5:39

It's like that millennial, thigh gap goal, um,

Rebecca Sigala 5:44

slash trauma

Alyssa Goldwater 5:46

super, super trauma. Um, so after I had kids, I had my oldest when I was 24, and then I had my second, my son when I was 25. Um, you know, obviously having children completely changes your body.

Rebecca Sigala 6:04

yeah,

Alyssa Goldwater 6:05

and that's okay. so aside from like struggling with my weight and wanting to be a smaller size before, after I had kids, it was like I had even more to deal with when I was still in that mindset. so. I started going into this cycle of extreme dieting and then binging. Mm-hmm. Um, and it was just this cycle of trying every diet there was out there trying every supplement, every everything, and still not being able to achieve what I thought at the time was, you know, my ideal body, my ideal size. So I was seeing a therapist at the time, and we discussed this a lot, and I was telling her some of the things that. I was doing, which I now see as eating disorder behavior and disordered eating. And she said, you know, have you ever considered that you might have binge eating disorder? And I was like, I absolutely do not have an eating disorder. Like that word was so stigmatized to me. I was embarrassed that she would even like say something like that to me. And I didn't really know what binge eating disorder was at the time. You know, I was just like, I don't have binge eating disorder. I can stop eating anytime I want, you know?

Rebecca Sigala 7:22

Mm-hmm.

Alyssa Goldwater 7:23

Um, but I ended up looking into a little bit more about what binge eating disorder was, and I ended up, you know, going into eating disorder treatment, uh, A PHP, so partial hospitalization program, you know, every day for. About two months and

Rebecca Sigala 7:44

Wow.

Alyssa Goldwater 7:44

It completely changed.

Rebecca Sigala 7:45

What a jump from like, not even that, not even being on your radar to

Alyssa Goldwater 7:50

Yeah. So being in, when I went into the program, I still wanted, I was like, oh, I'll just heal my relationship with food and then I'll lose weight anyway. Like that was where the mindset was when I went. Mm-hmm.

Rebecca Sigala 8:01

Mm-hmm.

Alyssa Goldwater 8:03

And obviously that's not quite how I came out of that program. it completely changed my life and I realized it was like a cloud had been cleared and I was like, what have I been doing? Wow. All this time. so that was pretty, I so relate

Rebecca Sigala 8:22

to that, that cloud, it's like all of a sudden you see clearly and you're like, what the hell? How is this my normal for so many years?

Alyssa Goldwater 8:31

Yeah. I mean, I talk a lot about this, but I, I like to equate. People believing that like carbs are bad, fat is bad, is almost at the same level of like, God is one like you. Whoa. Like you, you tell someone that. Carbs are necessary. You need carbs. and that being skinny is not the only like ideal way to live a healthy life. It's so offensive to people who it's so ingrained in them. like almost like a religion, just like true deep rooted values. And it's very, very hard to unlearn that. And it was extremely hard for me to buy into it also. And I was there eight hours a day only doing that for, you know, this period of time.

Rebecca Sigala 9:26

you're so right and that is such a perfect way to explain it. I mean, one of the definitions of diet culture is worshiping thinness. And I think when people hear that, they're like, oh my god, that's exaggerating, worshiping. What do you mean? But it's so true because it is so deeply ingrained in people that there's no other truth. And it's so, like you said, threatening and offensive that there could be anything else out there.

Alyssa Goldwater 9:53

Yeah. So I think the thing that really switched it for me was, and it took a lot, but you know, in an eating disorder program, there are nutritionists who are there and, you know, not all nutritionists are created equal, but obviously in an eating disorder program Yeah. They are. You know,

Rebecca Sigala 10:12

hopefully better.

Alyssa Goldwater 10:13

They are, they are focused on recovery. And I know this is not all eating disorder programs are equal either. Yeah. Um, but these ones happen to be great. And learning the actual true science about how our bodies work and how carbs work and the amount of carbs that our bodies actually need was, and it was not just a one-time learning thing. It was like a, talking about it and really learning that for. An extended period of time, that was what brought me out of what are these food rules that we've made up that are not actually scientifically based? Like, why can't I eat after 7:00 PM?

Rebecca Sigala 11:00

Mm-hmm.

Alyssa Goldwater 11:00

I'm hungry, eat after 7:00 PM mm-hmm. Maybe I'm hungry after 7:00 PM because I haven't been feeding myself throughout the day. Like the amount of carbs that you need is not based on what it says on the back of a food label. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 11:19

That's so interesting that you say that because I could imagine that having it be scientifically based would be so helpful. But then you go out into the world of wellness and nutrition and everybody's saying everything is scientifically based, weight loss and this and that. If you just do this, and of course you'll have this composition, it's science people say, right. So. I guess, what would you say to someone who's like, but this is science.

Alyssa Goldwater 11:47

So I think that a lot of the world, thankfully, has come around to the idea that BMI is baloney. Yeah. Even though

Rebecca Sigala 11:55

they still use it,

Alyssa Goldwater 11:56

they still use it, which is crazy. But I do think more people, I wouldn't say most, but more people are buying into that idea and it's not an idea into that truth and that realization. so I think that that's helpful. But for me. Now my eyes are just so wide open and I tend to call out the BS when I see it. you know, especially, I love that we're recording this at the beginning of January because this is like such a time for diet culture to thrive.

Rebecca Sigala 12:28

So true. I

Alyssa Goldwater 12:29

almost forget. I know. And for like these people who are like self-proclaimed experts and like doctors all of a sudden to like come out of the woodwork and try and sell you products'cause they would like to profit off of your insecurities. Yeah. Um, and I just, I call it out. I ask publicly, you know, oh, I'm so interested. How do you know all about this? Like, I'm wondering what your background is, but

Rebecca Sigala 12:58

you'll comment on somebody's post.

Alyssa Goldwater 13:00

I just did it last week. I couldn't help myself. And I said it in a very nice way. I actually, I'm not from Chicago originally. I'm from Kentucky. So like, okay,

Rebecca Sigala 13:09

there you go.

Alyssa Goldwater 13:10

I'm southern. so I know how to say things in like a bless your heart sort of way, but I will call it out also. Like, are you getting paid to promote this? Because that also factors into it. And when you're not disclosing that, that's a whole other level of like deceiving and lying also. It's illegal, yeah. Um, to not disclose that sort of thing, but especially giving like this medical advice. So that is, I am just, I'm here to call it out in a nice way. Not everyone's gonna like it clearly based on the comments that I get, but you know what? Help me go viral. Help me like, see the people that want to see this information. I see that my advocacy opens people's eyes every single day. I'm not there to. I'm not gonna speak To everyone. I don't need to speak to everyone. Yeah. But the people that are open to having their life changed, that's who I'm there for.

Rebecca Sigala 14:10

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 14:11

And

14:11

the

Rebecca Sigala 14:11

people who need it really need it.

Alyssa Goldwater 14:13

Exactly. So I'm just, I'm very obviously passionate about it. I never, ever want my daughter to go through what I've been through. And so between that and feeling the way I feel now and seeing how unfulfilled my life was because I was so focused on changing my body, I want that for whoever wants that for themselves, whoever is tired of feeling so bad about. Something you have every single day. It's not like you can change the color of your shirt and then you like it, you know, this is your body, this is what you are given.

Rebecca Sigala 14:59

Yes.

Alyssa Goldwater 14:59

Not just change that and to hate it and walk with that every single day. You can't live a truly fulfilled life.

Rebecca Sigala 15:10

right. So, so interesting because the, the Torah says that we're created in the image of God, and I'm always grappling with the fact that beauty standards and diet culture are so much a part of religious culture today. How do you navigate that?

Alyssa Goldwater 15:30

Yeah, that's a good question. Um, it's really, really, really tough. you know. With all of the simchas we have and

Rebecca Sigala 15:42

mm-hmm.

Alyssa Goldwater 15:43

You know, the bar Shabbat, the wedding, Shabbat like all of it. Then we've got the holidays, we've got Shabbos and a yontif like every other second. A kiddish here, uh, an eg there. Malva milk, like food is a part of Judaism.

Rebecca Sigala 16:02

Food and guilt together.

Alyssa Goldwater 16:04

Food and guilt are a part of Judaism, for better or for worse. And diet culture has just latched onto that. Like you go to a Shabbas, but like, you've gotta be able, you've gotta be able to fit into that dress for your son's Bar mitzvah next week. Right. So it's like I'm,

Rebecca Sigala 16:25

how many people are calculating like how many pieces of haah they're about to eat

Alyssa Goldwater 16:29

or exactly. Like, I'm meant to enjoy this food. I'm meant to eat this food. It's delicious food. I want to eat that food, but I feel so guilty about enjoying this food. Other people are watching me. I shouldn't want to eat this food. And it's very, very cyclical. Yeah. And I think there are like a decent handful of us who are really trying to help people get out of that mindset. Yeah. And it's very difficult because, you know, Jewish publications and influencers are publishing these ridiculous things that are still perpetuating that idea that will perpetuate the guilt, the shame. Yeah. So very, very hard to get out of.

Rebecca Sigala 17:15

so hard. Does it ever feel lonely to be thinking a certain way? I don't if lonely is the right word, but do you know what I mean? Like

Alyssa Goldwater 17:24

No, I do. I do know what you mean. Sometimes I definitely feel like, why are you not listening? Like, who am I talking to? I'll just, specifically this influencer who recently posted about some like GLP one supplements that you could take. Mm. A pill like,

Rebecca Sigala 17:45

mm.

Alyssa Goldwater 17:46

It so duh. It was so bad. It was so bad. But I'll tell you, aside from that content that I was seeing, like I can call that out as baloney. I, I know you're not a doctor. Like why are you giving

Rebecca Sigala 18:00

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 18:01

Advice to literal strangers that is so deep. What was more disheartening? Were. The comments on that. Yeah.

Rebecca Sigala 18:09

Always

Alyssa Goldwater 18:10

all of the people who, you know, were commenting that word so that they could get an, that they could get an auto DM for the supplement. All of the people who were like, this is amazing. You are so right. And it was people who I know personally.

Rebecca Sigala 18:25

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 18:26

And so like that is just like, oh, it's so bad and then so

Rebecca Sigala 18:32

bad.

Alyssa Goldwater 18:32

It was also like a ton of people who follow me, like a ton of them, and I'm like, you guys, you guys come back to me like,

Rebecca Sigala 18:43

yeah, you

Alyssa Goldwater 18:44

know what this is. We talk about it. It's just like, yeah. So at times like that it just, it is disheartening. You know, I'm not a cult. I am not, I'm not, or anti

Rebecca Sigala 19:00

cult. We're the

Alyssa Goldwater 19:02

opposite. I'm way Trust your body.

Rebecca Sigala 19:04

Trust yourself.

Alyssa Goldwater 19:05

Right, right. I'm not like my way or the highway. Yeah. And at the same time, like these are people who I know are like a part of my community who I know want to accept and be happy in the bodies that they have. And then this stuff goes on like.

Rebecca Sigala 19:25

Do you work with people on this or is most of your advocacy just like online? Not just, but online and helping people by inspiring them through?

Alyssa Goldwater 19:35

So,

Rebecca Sigala 19:35

being an influencer,

Alyssa Goldwater 19:37

I'm very open about the fact I am not a medical health professional and I will never try and step into that role that I feel should be left to mental health providers and, you know, physical health providers. Mm-hmm. For lack of a better word. I just won't do that. I call it out when other people are doing that. Mm. I feel that it's dangerous. I come from a place of, I have been there, I am in eating disorder recovery.

Rebecca Sigala 20:06

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 20:07

I am so glad to be where I am now. I'm happy to give information, yes information, and I will always at the same time collaborate with, you know. Do that. Medical professionals who have gone to school for this, who really have like that degree behind them.

Rebecca Sigala 20:30

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 20:31

because I'm not giving medical advice, And

Rebecca Sigala 20:34

I think also probably coming from like the eating disorder world and going through a recovery program like you saw how, important it was to have that kind of knowledge.

Alyssa Goldwater 20:45

Absolutely. Like, it is, it is not for me to give medical advice. A lot of times people come to me, with questions like diagnosis questions. Oh wow. Um, and obviously that's a huge load to bear and I direct them to people. Yeah. Who I know a lot of therapists in different places now. Mm-hmm. And I direct people to those. Medical professionals because that's not what I'm here for. Yeah, yeah. Um, what I say is very true, and I've learned a lot, but I will never give someone like personal medical advice because Yeah. That is dangerous.

Rebecca Sigala 21:29

Yeah. And it's not. I get that. I totally get that. And it's important. It's very important. yeah. One of the reasons why I became a body image and body confidence coach is because, I mean, for a lot of reasons, and it was a natural progression of the photography work that I was doing and realizing this is exactly what I've been doing this whole time, is helping women feel safe and empowered and comfortable in their skin. And what I kept seeing was that my clients were like in therapy and in these, you know, programs and things like that, but no one really addressed how to feel. Happy, how to feel satisfied, how to fully embrace your body as it is. I've even had clients who have gone through eating disorder recovery and definitely progressed there, but never even unlearned diet culture or beauty standards or anything like that. And it just makes me so sad that there's this huge gap in even the mental health world.

Alyssa Goldwater 22:31

Yes,

Rebecca Sigala 22:32

and I agree. Like I don't give medical advice either, but there's this other part of it that is so important on this journey.

Alyssa Goldwater 22:40

A hundred percent. And I feel like in different capacities we do very similar things. It's calling out the. Medical advice, the not medical advice, disguised as medical advice and just empowering people to, it's almost giving them permission to accept their body as it is. You could still wanna change your body. I'm not here to tell you that you have to change. You can't

Rebecca Sigala 23:09

feel that way,

Alyssa Goldwater 23:10

or you don't, or like you shouldn't want to lose weight. I'm not here to tell you that. And in the same breath, if you are waiting, this is my line. If you are waiting on your weight to change before you live your life, you're never gonna be able to live a fully happy, healthy, fulfilled life. You can't wait on that. So you can still wanna change yourself. And at the same time, you can learn to accept yourself as you are. That is really like the goal. If you end up loving yourself also amazing. But like, let's accept, let's get there first. Like feel good. Wear clothes that make you happy. Don't, you don't have to hide yourself just because you wanna change.

Rebecca Sigala 23:55

right. And also the problem with that is that even if your body does change, you are not gonna change the way you think about it. There's always gonna be something else.

Alyssa Goldwater 24:04

Ding, ding, ding. It's never gonna be enough. Also, like 95% of diets don't work, so like, maybe you're gonna change your body, but your body might also change back. Like,

Rebecca Sigala 24:15

yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 24:15

Those are just the statistics of what is gonna happen throughout your life. You're gonna go through menopause, you're gonna have babies like

Rebecca Sigala 24:23

mm-hmm.

Alyssa Goldwater 24:24

COS like your body is always changing. It's meant to change. And, and

Rebecca Sigala 24:28

then the minute it changed, you're gonna hate it again. You know what I mean? Like. There. It's such a conditional love, conditional confidence that most people have for their body and not to shame anybody. I was there for so many years as well. Exactly. And it's the most normal thing in society today to feel that way about your body. But why is it so revolutionary that there's any other perspective and that, and I think I, it's not even, I'm not really even asking that question because I think I know the answer. People just don't think it's possible.

Alyssa Goldwater 25:04

Right. I think also people are very, married to the idea that you cannot be healthy if you are not in a small body. There is, there is no such thing as health at every size to most of the world and. I think one of the hardest things to overcome for me is that idea because people think that anybody who is in fat advocacy or in a body acceptance space or in a plus size body, can't truly be healthy. So they automatically think that by me, and probably you too, advocating for people to accept themselves at any size. We're saying like, go lay

Rebecca Sigala 25:52

promoting obesity.

Alyssa Goldwater 25:53

Go lay on the side of the road and swim in a pool of chocolate and only eat donuts for the rest of your life and don't take care of yourself. Mm-hmm. And that is like that piece where science has really like screwed us over for like, lack of a nicer word, you know? Because that's just not true. nobody is saying no body positivity or body acceptance. Anyone on the internet has ever said, don't get blood work done. Don't take care of yourself. Don't go to the doctor. Eat whatever you want all the time. Never nourish your body. No one.

Rebecca Sigala 26:38

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 26:39

Thank

Rebecca Sigala 26:39

you. I'm like, where are these people promoting obesity? Like, I don't understand what you're even talking about. I've never even seen,

Alyssa Goldwater 26:45

I mean, I like, I don't even like to use the word overweight because it's like, what? Yeah. What it, if you're overweight, what is the weight that I don't use that either. You know, like that's different for everybody. Nobody is promoting to not be able to move your body. Nobody is promoting like you to be in pain. Mm-hmm. And you don't have to. Change the size of your body to achieve all of those goals. Like yeah, make yourself stronger, nourish your body in proper ways.

Rebecca Sigala 27:24

Mm-hmm. Um,

Alyssa Goldwater 27:25

but it's like that idea that people like really cannot get over. So that is like, I would say the hardest hurdle to overcome

Rebecca Sigala 27:33

because they've, I've never, I mean, most people, and including myself up until a certain point in my life, I had never pursued health without also pursuing, getting smaller.

Alyssa Goldwater 27:45

Exactly. Exactly. You can pursue your health without the sole goal being to shrink your body. Yeah. That's

Rebecca Sigala 27:54

why is that so hard to,

Alyssa Goldwater 27:56

why is that so hard? I don't know. I don't know. And shame on everybody who's made that. Mm-hmm.

Rebecca Sigala 28:03

The, and you know, if you. Pursue health and you're drinking more water and you're moving your body and you're sleeping and your body changes because of that. I'm not saying anything is inherently wrong with weight loss. Your body changes because your body changes, but maybe it's not going to, you know what I mean? So I think the difference is this intentional weight loss and the focus on weight loss.

Alyssa Goldwater 28:30

Um, I, I agree with you. Yeah. I, I just, it's like there are so many reasons to move your body other than shrinking your body like mental health because it's fun, like. Digestion. It's good. It's good for you to move your body, like get stronger, like,

Rebecca Sigala 28:54

yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 28:54

I personally, will never go to a gym again because in eating disorder recovery, I just am so incredibly triggered by like a gym, by exercise equipment. So that's been something that I've really been working on for the last few years. Wow. Is finding that, you know, that term joyful movement and getting exercise in, in ways that don't feel, that, don't take me back to that time in my life where mm-hmm. I hated working out. I hated it.

Rebecca Sigala 29:27

Yeah, because'cause it's also intertwined with so much shame.

Alyssa Goldwater 29:30

Exactly. Like, I've gotta be here, I've gotta sweat, I've gotta feel like I'm gonna pass out at any moment because I must burn more calories, I must shrink my body. Like it was never for fun. Mm-hmm. That's something that's just a whole other piece to it. But

Rebecca Sigala 29:48

did you get all of this incredible mindset and all the work that it seems like you've done internally for yourself? Did you get that from recovery or did you continue pursuing that after?

Alyssa Goldwater 30:01

So a little bit of both. I would say. I was in a different position to a lot of people who go into eating disorder programs in the way that I had already. First of all, I feel very fortunate because I take a lot of pictures of myself. Before I went into eating disorder recovery, I was an influencer who was doing plus size fashion. Oh, cool. I didn't know that. So I had already come to a place of acceptance of my body and like bordering on confidence. Um, because I was working with, at the time it was not so many, but there were a few, you know, modest plus size brands that I was really starting to work with on a regular basis. So I was dressing myself in nice clothing, taking pictures of me. Wow. Dressed of myself, dressed up, feeling good. I was, you know, getting feedback from so many people telling me how nice I looked. So I had a leg up. Like I already was in a place of body acceptance and like, I was pretty confident. If not all the way on the inside, I was for sure faking it till I made it, you know? Mm-hmm. At that point, um,

Rebecca Sigala 31:14

I think people don't even understand that. They can look at someone who seems that way, so confident in their body. They walk in a room, they light up their room, they're social, and people will still have these internal narratives and relationships with food and movement that are still ruling their lives. And so I think this is, so, thank you so much for sharing that because I think a lot of people just have shame that they have this internal dialogue and I really wanted dispel that because so many women do. Yes. And it does not really matter how you're perceived by other people or how confident you seem on the outside. You can still struggle with these things

Alyssa Goldwater 31:57

For sure. And even as somebody who is extremely confident now, I love my body. Now, I'm very happy with who I am, what I look like. I still have those thoughts at times. Yeah. You cannot control your thoughts. You can control how you react to your thoughts and how you internally talk to yourself mm-hmm. About those thoughts and how you move forward. Yeah. But I say recovery is not linear. Body acceptance is not linear. It's okay. It took me years and years and years to get to where I am. Like, give yourself some grace. Yeah. Um, and that's, that's really hard for people to do.

Rebecca Sigala 32:34

Yeah. It's evolving. It's ever evolving.

Alyssa Goldwater 32:38

Right.

Rebecca Sigala 32:39

That makes a lot of sense. Okay, so you were saying that you kind of had this leg up because you were already in the body acceptance world.

Alyssa Goldwater 32:46

Oh, right. Yeah. That's the A DHD, sorry.

Rebecca Sigala 32:48

No, me too. Me too. I got you. I

Alyssa Goldwater 32:51

guess. Um, yeah, so I had this leg up going into the program. It was for me, really that idea that I. Was unhealthy and that something, you know, I lost my mother when I was nine, um, to cancer. My son and my husband both have type one diabetes. I had gestational diabetes with my second. And so I have like an irrational, not irrational fear of dying, not being there for my children. Yeah, of course. And diabetes. so that for me was what I was really holding onto, which was why learning actual science was so pivotal for me personally. Yeah,

Rebecca Sigala 33:35

that makes a

Alyssa Goldwater 33:35

lot. Um, so it started before and I wanted to get on board with it. My brain, you know, it was like in my heart that I could be happy in my body, but like I couldn't get there. Um, so then you

Rebecca Sigala 33:52

knew it, but you didn't feel it.

Alyssa Goldwater 33:54

Right? It's like you could tell me it, and I hear it and it sounds really nice, and I would love to be that way, but I couldn't actually get there.

Rebecca Sigala 34:02

that's exactly the kind of women that I work with where it's like, you know it and you value it, right? You think it's important, but then you're not living it

Alyssa Goldwater 34:11

right? It's like you're too scared or I think fear is a lot of it. But

Rebecca Sigala 34:17

fear of letting yourself go,

Alyssa Goldwater 34:19

letting yourself go. Mm-hmm. Fear of being truly happy. Mm-hmm. Fear of letting go of this feeling that you should be smaller, that you've had since you were 10 years old. Like, that's really hard to part with, it's really hard to part with that thought. So the program really changed that a lot for me. And then afterward I was just like, my eyes were just wide open and I surrounded my, what I was taking in on the internet with like-minded therapists, nutritionists, dieticians, and people. Who were speaking the truth. Mm-hmm. And who were not feeding me that diet culture shrink your body bologna anymore. and then it just sort of continued from there. And then my daughter really became, I mean, I know that eating disorders affect boys and men almost as much as

Rebecca Sigala 35:21

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 35:21

Women and girls. but I just never wanted my daughter to go through what I went through, which was like the pivotal turning point to continue doing what I was doing in terms of, you know, co-writing my book. And

Rebecca Sigala 35:38

yeah, I was actually just gonna ask about that

Alyssa Goldwater 35:40

and just like continuing in this advocacy space in general. So that is

Rebecca Sigala 35:44

so cool that you wrote a book. What inspired that? How did you think to do that and, and what's the idea behind it?

Alyssa Goldwater 35:52

So it's funny because my co-author, Chanie Kamman, who has other amazing social emotional learning books, had sent me two of her previous books that she wrote before we wrote our book. because I was an influencer and I do, I'm very open about mental health and I advocate for taking care of your mental health a lot also. So her books like really fit in nicely with my content. So she sent them to me as PR. and then it was just so funny, I've sort of been thinking like, how can I level up? How can I get my message to more people? Because, you know, you only are so limited, even if you have a large community online. And we sort of just, we literally messaged each other at the same time and we were both like. What if, what if we wrote a book about this, about body acceptance, self-acceptance for kids? can't

Rebecca Sigala 36:53

tell you how just happy that makes me.

Alyssa Goldwater 36:54

It was really crazy. And it took about a year and a half to get it out of the group chat before we actually

Rebecca Sigala 37:03

outta the group chat,

Alyssa Goldwater 37:04

you know, before we actually started a manuscript. and putting ideas together. But that was sort of how that came to fruition. And I'm so grateful to her because she, first of all, she's an incredible person and we are so like-minded in so many ways. And she had already published two books. So she, I have ideas. I'm a good writer.

Rebecca Sigala 37:32

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 37:32

And I didn't know anything about publishing and all that goes into that, so she was sort of. Helping and doing so much like in terms of communication with Feldheim. You know, she already, they had first rights of refusal to her books. So like,

Rebecca Sigala 37:49

whoa.

Alyssa Goldwater 37:49

We already like had a publishing company to bring our manuscript to when we were ready. and she, was

Rebecca Sigala 37:56

that a process? Like were there things that they rejected or didn't want?

Alyssa Goldwater 38:01

So I was actually shocked because Feldheim is very, very shtark and they're very, very religious over there. And the idea of body positivity and self-acceptance, like in terms of bodies and everywhere can be sort of a scary thing, you know, in the secular and not Jewish world. Body positivity often comes along with like. Wearing minimal clothing. Mm-hmm. And showing off your body in a very physical, it's already

Rebecca Sigala 38:36

associated with this, like

Alyssa Goldwater 38:38

in a very physical way. Yeah. So I was concerned that they were gonna reject the idea, but Chanie had told me that they've taken like up to six weeks to come back to her with like an okay to proceed with a manuscript. And they came back to us within just a couple of weeks and I remember the email, they said, this is such an important book, we cannot wait to work with you to get it out to people. And I was like, oh my gosh. They said The club,

39:06

that's

Rebecca Sigala 39:06

God right there.

Alyssa Goldwater 39:07

They said The Klal needs this book. And I was like, yes.

Rebecca Sigala 39:11

Yes they do.

Alyssa Goldwater 39:13

you know, obviously like there's always gonna be a little bit of back and forth in the editing process when it comes to, um,

Rebecca Sigala 39:21

were there things you had to censor or that you were careful about certain kinds

Alyssa Goldwater 39:25

of work? No, like we both, you know, she's Leubovitch. I consider myself to be pretty orthodox. Yeah. And I wanted, we both wanted to create, there are so many body positivity books out there for kids, but there are none for the Orthodox community and people who do have that, like zero,

Rebecca Sigala 39:45

right.

Alyssa Goldwater 39:46

Except for this one, that sensitive lens in their homes. And we wanted Orthodox kids and Jewish kids in general to have that access to these concepts and see people that resemble them and look like them. so that parents will feel safe bringing this book and these ideas into their home. so we both. Led with a very like Torah guided lens. And we knew that the images, like the illustrations were gonna be like the most important part of the book. Yeah. Um, in a book like this, the words are nice. We both knew we wanted the book to rhyme, but in a grammatically correct way, I hate a book. I hate a kid's book that rhymes, but makes no sense.

Rebecca Sigala 40:33

Yeah, I hear that.

Alyssa Goldwater 40:33

And they, and it doesn't make sense because they want it to rhyme. So I'm very proud the book makes sense and it rhymes. And we knew that the illustrations were just gonna be so important. So

Rebecca Sigala 40:46

Yeah. Can you, can you share a little bit about why the illustrations are important? I totally get that. As a photographer and someone who really, values diversity and inclusion and, and representation of bodies. So why was that important and why was their nuance there?

Alyssa Goldwater 41:03

I think that. It's really important for children and adults because my book is really for a lot of inner children also. Hmm. Point not only just children, but it's really important for people to be able to see their own body in the pages of this book while they're hearing these words that can help them accept themselves. You know,

Rebecca Sigala 41:31

wow, we really

Alyssa Goldwater 41:32

do

Rebecca Sigala 41:32

something. See so similar. It's like the same kind of process to be able

Alyssa Goldwater 41:36

Yeah. To see

Rebecca Sigala 41:37

that image and have that become a part of a new way of thinking.

Alyssa Goldwater 41:44

Right. So, and we knew that we also wanted to include a lot of different, you know, special abilities in the book as well. disabilities and different skin colors. we wanted. As many people as we possibly could to see themselves in the page of this book. Mm-hmm. Along with different body types. So

Rebecca Sigala 42:05

smaller bodies too.

Alyssa Goldwater 42:07

Pardon?

Rebecca Sigala 42:08

Smaller bodies too.

Alyssa Goldwater 42:09

Yes. And you know, we have an image where there's a thinner mom and a larger body child because that's a dynamic also like Yeah, a big dynamic. We wanted, we wanted boys, girls, you know, different skin colors. We have, someone with cochlear implants, we have someone with alopecia. We have someone who, whoa, we have, someone with dwarfism who is in the book and my son has type one diabetes. So it was super important to me to have, a Dexcom. Like the continuous glucose monitor showing in one of the pages. Oh, that's

Rebecca Sigala 42:45

so cool.

Alyssa Goldwater 42:47

We have, we have someone with leg braces. You know, obviously you can't hit everything. You, we have someone with Down syndrome in the book. We have someone in a wheelchair. You know, that was so, so, so important to us and I'm so glad we pushed hard for that because the amount of parents that have come back to me and been like, my son, my daughter read this book and like, we were just so overjoyed. I remember'cause it's not so apparent the dwarfism in the book, but I got a message from a mom who has two children, who live with that.

Rebecca Sigala 43:24

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 43:25

And she was like, we just love this book. That's amazing. You do not know how happy it made my children. Um, it's really, even like there's a page, a girl has like a huge gap in her mouth from a missing tooth. And, and I got a message from a mom who said, this is my daughter's favorite page of the whole book. She's like, oh, she has a big hole in her mouth. I have a big hole in my mouth.

Rebecca Sigala 43:54

Wow.

Alyssa Goldwater 43:55

and I think when you can see yourself in a positive light, like in this book, it even more helps to ingrain these good ideas about yourself into your own, into your own soul. So that's why these illustrations are just so important.

Rebecca Sigala 44:17

Wow. Really speaking my language. That is so beautiful. What's the name of the book?

Alyssa Goldwater 44:22

Every Body Is

Rebecca Sigala 44:24

Mm.

Alyssa Goldwater 44:26

Not everybody. Every body. Every Body Is three words. You know, people pronounce it everybody, which is fine, either really makes sense, but it is, every body is and it goes through, all of the different parts of a body. It goes through not only the outside but also the inside. it brings Torah concepts into it, which I think also, first of all, the haskama that, just the name Feldheim gives the book, helps many people who are very sensitive with the material they give their children and the ideas they bring into their home. Just having Feldheim's stamp of approval on that book has helped our book be seen by so many people who may have never Wow. Ever accepted the book.

Rebecca Sigala 45:16

that's, that's really incredible. Like, I, I can just imagine the impact that it's making, that it will make, that people don't even realize it's made after reading it to their child. Like something that is really a part of the way that they. Cultivate their sense of self from such a young age. And even just having, even if everything around them is diet culture and beauty standards. The fact that they have this book and they get to see these pictures and experience those words, it can make such a big difference in somebody's life. I'm curious, was there anything that was surprising to you about either the way it landed for people or the success of the book? Like what was the most exciting and surprising thing that happened since the book was published?

Alyssa Goldwater 46:12

I love these questions by the way, like you ask really great questions.

Rebecca Sigala 46:17

Oh, thanks.

Alyssa Goldwater 46:17

Um, a few things. So I think first of all, Feldheim was really surprised because To my knowledge, they've never really published a book with an influencer before with someone who has like such a platform. So

Rebecca Sigala 46:32

yeah,

Alyssa Goldwater 46:33

they were very pleasantly surprised with the amount of sales that we did on the book. Like I knew,

Rebecca Sigala 46:40

wow,

Alyssa Goldwater 46:41

I knew my people were gonna buy this book. I knew we were excited. Yeah. But they were surpris, I don't think they quite realized. So that was exciting to see. a few things. So it's funny, people judge books by their cover all the time, so on. I feel like

Rebecca Sigala 47:00

that's a good title of this episode.

Alyssa Goldwater 47:02

Yeah, no, literally. Um, so there are definitely, in terms of the pictures, there were definitely some like religious aspects that we were just gonna have to work within the parameters of, because of Feldheim. So basically we don't, and you don't even really notice it until now. You will, like if you go, if you listen to this and then you go read the book, you'll notice Yeah. Which I'll, we

Rebecca Sigala 47:26

don't

Alyssa Goldwater 47:26

have boys and girls or men and women in images together. Okay. That are not in the same family. So, okay. While of course you can have a family that has different skin colors and races within the book, generally, I hate talking about this because like someone's gonna get mad any single time. Yeah. But like generally, you. When you think of, you know, your typical all American family.

Rebecca Sigala 47:58

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 47:58

They do all have the same skin color. Mm-hmm. So on the, our book, we wanted to have, different ages and body sizes represented, but they had to be from the same family.

Rebecca Sigala 48:10

Family.

Alyssa Goldwater 48:11

So they are all white people on the cover of the book. Mom, dad, grandma, different kids, boys, girls. But we wanted it to seem that it was all people in the same family. So people just jump to conclusions and of course assume that by the front cover of the book that we only have white people represented in our book.

Rebecca Sigala 48:32

Oh, wow. Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 48:33

Which is so not true when we wanted it. This is so tricky that way on purpose. It's just frustrating. So you explain it to people, Then you don't want, you know, this perceived stigma of orthodox people either because I do all this body positivity and plus size advocacy. But on the other hand, I do Jewish education and I break stigma the Orthodox community. So it was like a little bit tricky, but, so there was that, there was a little bit of pushback like, oh, you don't have any black people. Obviously there are more than two races in the world, but like, that was what I got the most, like, oh, you don't have any black people in the book? Well just open it. Yeah, just open it. so that was a little bit frustrating, but overall it

Rebecca Sigala 49:14

was really frustrating

Alyssa Goldwater 49:15

overall. I've actually never said that on a podcast, so there you go. But overall, the response has been. Incredible. Like, just phenomenal. I go to classrooms in the Chicago area and I read to classes.

Rebecca Sigala 49:37

Wow.

Alyssa Goldwater 49:38

Lots of teachers buying this book for their class. helping teachers, changing the language that they're using when they, you know, write emails to parents saying, only bring healthy snacks. Like, what does that mean? Just like really making a wave of culture change. Um, that's

Rebecca Sigala 50:00

so huge. Oh my gosh. Recently my daughter came home, my 6-year-old came home and told me that her teacher said that if she eats standing up, that she's gonna get fat.

Alyssa Goldwater 50:11

I never even heard that one.

Rebecca Sigala 50:15

A new one. Surprising. That's surprising. I know.

Alyssa Goldwater 50:20

I hope you

Rebecca Sigala 50:20

emailed. He's so upset. I'm in the process.

Alyssa Goldwater 50:24

It was recently, that's really bad. You're gonna get fat. Like that's really bad. Like okay, say, I mean don't say this, but like it could have, that's not healthy for you or it's bad for you. You are gonna get fat by an adult. No,

Rebecca Sigala 50:38

I know. I mean, we're in Israel so they're also a little bit behind the times in terms of the language and that type of thing.

Alyssa Goldwater 50:48

Yes.

Rebecca Sigala 50:48

And even like, you know, just gender stuff. Like girls do this, boys do that. Like I don't think that you get the same thing in American schools. but yeah, it was, yeah, it's so hard because no matter how much you want to impart stuff on your kids and give them something that we didn't have, they're still going out in the world and they will be impacted by it. And the only thing we can do is do our best and. I think work on our relationship with our own body. I don't know how you feel about that. Like what would you advise people to do? Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 51:28

12 out of 10, a hundred percent our children are going to encounter diet culture. Our children are going to encounter people who are telling them fat is bad, who are telling them they're fat, who are saying, why is your mom so fat? I've had that. That's why I said that. we have to arm our children with the actual truth. We have to give them that self-acceptance, that body confidence that they can shrug off whatever they're going to hear because they are going to hear it. We are in the minority, we are correct, in my opinion. Um, we're right, but we are the minority. If we can work on ourselves, change what's going on within us, and then beam that out to our children and the world mm-hmm. They will be better off for that. they will not fall into cycles that we fell in of guilt. Mm-hmm. And shame and unworthiness, unlovable, ugly because mm-hmm. Of the way we are raising them with that confidence and the actual truth. You know, in school there's units about like the healthy body or whatever, and my daughter over the last few years, occasionally will come home and say like, so and so told, like my teacher told me like, we can't have vanilla wafers for snack because it's not healthy. Not healthy. Like, this girl told me candy is going to make me fat. Like if I continue eating this, first of all, it's. And so like

Rebecca Sigala 53:10

mm-hmm. And so what,

Alyssa Goldwater 53:11

tell me what's so bad about fat? Tell me like, tell me more. Um, yeah. Sort of mindset, but also there have been times when I have told my daughter, especially to a teacher, like, you can't be disrespectful, but like smile and nod and know that that's not true. And

Rebecca Sigala 53:31

yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 53:32

And we don't believe that. I say some people

Rebecca Sigala 53:35

it's like a diff having a different hashkafa.

Alyssa Goldwater 53:38

No, literally it's like smile and nod and know that she's not telling the truth. She just doesn't realize it.

Rebecca Sigala 53:43

Oh my gosh. Yeah. That's not easy. And I do think that we are, you know, giving our kids something completely different and, Just honestly, like when you said like they're not gonna feel the guilt, they're not gonna feel the shame. I have a 15-year-old daughter and I'm like, okay, she knows there's a different way. She has a space and she has a path, but she's also so in the world. I'm not with her everywhere. She is out in Jerusalem tonight. You know what I mean? Like she is with her friends and she's on social media and she will be impacted. She has been impacted by it. So I think it's just important to not take on that full like responsibility. Like, oh, like I did something wrong if my kid is struggling with this, or like just knowing that

Alyssa Goldwater 54:37

Do you know what I mean? I do. I think that's for everything. That we do as parents, you know? Yeah. You can only do so much. You impart the values, you have the best you can on your children, but at the end of the day, it's up to them to navigate social situations and Yeah. You know, get through the day. And they have to be able to do that. You can't do everything for them. You cannot, you can't be there to shut it down all the time.

Rebecca Sigala 55:09

yeah. Like my kids even still talk about. How I used to call things healthy and not healthy and that we didn't have snacks in our house and they thought we'd never be a snack house and I can't believe that we're a snack house and we've had snacks in our house for years and years, but they're still remembering when they're like five years old. You know? I love

Alyssa Goldwater 55:29

that's given

Rebecca Sigala 55:30

up you guys. I've changed my mindset. I've like explained this to them so many times, but like I think

Alyssa Goldwater 55:35

it's,

Rebecca Sigala 55:36

you know, it's an ever evolving journey.

Alyssa Goldwater 55:38

I think it's really important for people to hear that people who are so passionate and make this their life's work, like you and me.

Rebecca Sigala 55:45

Yeah.

Alyssa Goldwater 55:45

Still have children who are still going to face challenges and have these struggles. And have these feelings. Yeah. And I do think that because we are raising them in a certain way with a certain mindset and because we've learned what to say to them when they come to us with these problems. I can only pray and hope that they are better off because of it. Obviously we don't have Yeah. Control over what happens. That's up to Hashem and our children, and I just, mm-hmm. I just pray that it's easier. I just, that is my Yeah. One wish. Yeah. I wrote a

Rebecca Sigala 56:24

post. It's a different, it's a different reality. It's a different baseline, we know it well.'cause we didn't have that growing up.

Alyssa Goldwater 56:30

I write posts. I often will do them in collaboration with Rachel Tuchman, who is an incredible, um, social worker. Therapist, L-M-C-H-L-M-H-C. Something like that. she is a professional. Okay. and I will write like graphic posts because they're very shareable and I want people to see them. But one of the latest ones that we did was what to do and not to do if my child says someone called me fat. Um, like, okay, this is

Rebecca Sigala 57:00

good. I, I would love to hear what it

Alyssa Goldwater 57:02

is. Yeah. So like, I like to give parents, Really practical things that they can bring into their own life. That Post specifically hit really, really well. I had a lot of parents saying, I'm so glad I did the right thing, or this happened to me and now I know what I can do in the future. Yeah. Or like a lot.

57:22

Don't

Rebecca Sigala 57:22

say, no, you're not right.

Alyssa Goldwater 57:24

A hundred percent. That was the first thing. Don't say, no, you're not. You're beautiful. Don't say that. Whatever you do, don't say that. but I try and do things like that because it is really hard to parent and I find that like super practical advice and like actually giving someone a script helps them feel more confident and comfortable because these are uncomfortable topics for a lot of people.

Rebecca Sigala 57:50

Could

Alyssa Goldwater 57:50

you

Rebecca Sigala 57:50

quickly give that script so that our listeners can hear?

Alyssa Goldwater 57:55

Well, I could, uh,

Rebecca Sigala 57:56

pull it up.

Alyssa Goldwater 57:57

I could pull it, I could pull that up for you. I will read through the post and you could even like link the post in. Yeah. the show notes. Yes. Um, okay.

Rebecca Sigala 58:08

If your

Alyssa Goldwater 58:09

child tells you someone called them Fat Do's and Don'ts by both me and Rachel Tuchman. Okay. Absolutely. Whatever you do, do not say, oh honey, you're not fat, you're beautiful. Don't do that. Mm. Do not do that. And obviously there's like more description in the caption that people could read through, but great by saying that it may bring up negative feelings for you because it hurt when you were called that you may feel the need to say you're not fat or that's not nice, but telling them that they aren't fat or that it's mean to be called fat reinforces that idea that fat is bad. What if they are fat? You know? Don't make them feel bad about being called fat. Even if they're not fat, they might be fat one day. Like

Rebecca Sigala 58:56

mm-hmm.

Alyssa Goldwater 58:57

Don't we need to stop reinforcing that idea? Do stay calm. Start the conversation that fat is not bad. Fat just is. Fat just is. It's a descriptor word. There is no moral. Good or bad attached to that word. Tell them that many people believe that some bodies are better than other bodies, but remind them that that is wrong. It's not correct. Lots of people believe that. So not a Jewish

Rebecca Sigala 59:25

thought.

Alyssa Goldwater 59:26

We don't believe that. Do continue to speak in a neutral way about all bodies and food in your home. Remind them that bodies come in different shapes and sizes. Even bodies that come from the same parents look different. Do point out that their bodies will always be changing because that's what healthy bodies do. That's normal. Do teach them how to stick up for themselves if situations like this happen in the future, and then. We gave good one-liners to give to your children that they can say, if somebody calls them fat in school again,

Rebecca Sigala 1:00:06

Ooh, what

Alyssa Goldwater 1:00:06

are these? Please don't talk about my body. Fat isn't a bad thing. Are you trying to insult me? It's really not nice to talk about people's bodies and yeah, so what,

Rebecca Sigala 1:00:17

um,

Alyssa Goldwater 1:00:19

whether you have a sassy child or a more quiet child, you could give them whatever time you wanna give them, but that's great. Practical things like that are really helpful for parents I find. So

Rebecca Sigala 1:00:30

that's really great. Wow. Thank you so much for sharing that wisdom and I'm sure people will be using that'cause it's just so simple. And one thing that I do wanna mention with that is you said that, sometimes. A parent will over identify because maybe they experienced that as a kid. And I think that's why the work that we do with ourselves is so important because you can have all the scripts and all the knowledge in the world, and if you still don't feel accepting or okay in your body, it doesn't land in the same way. And I'm not saying don't use the script, use the script like no matter what. No. For sure. But like, that's why it's so important because then these conversations become natural and they're not scary. and your kid looks at you and you're a role model for this. Correct. And that doesn't mean that we need to be perfect. It just means that the more we embody it, the more they feel it.

Alyssa Goldwater 1:01:30

Correct. you are so right. And something like this is. I say it, fake it till you make it. People don't like that, but say those things. Tell these things to your children, even if you don't feel them on the inside for yourself. Because eventually the hope is that you will feel that on the inside and mm-hmm. Also, you're not projecting those feelings that you have onto your children who are fresh. They don't need that. Give them what they need, like use the correct terms with them. Talk about their bodies in the way that you strive for, even if you're not quite there yet.

Rebecca Sigala 1:02:06

Yeah. Which I actually don't even think it's faking it. Then it's just this evolving journey. It's, you're

Alyssa Goldwater 1:02:12

right.

Rebecca Sigala 1:02:13

You know what I mean? Right. Like thinking it as like, I'm so confident it, this is actually just stepping stones

Alyssa Goldwater 1:02:20

getting there. I agree. I agree. I love the way you said that.

Rebecca Sigala 1:02:23

Aw, thanks. okay, so how can people buy your book? It sounds amazing. I wanna go and buy it right now.

Alyssa Goldwater 1:02:29

Thanks. Um, so you can buy it on Amazon. Um, I'll send you a link to it. Definitely will. Um, it's actually, it's on sale right now. Might not be on sale when you post this, but it, it goes on sale. Um, but it is like the best$15 or less depending on how much it costs. You'll spend. Truly, truly buy one for your family, buy one for your extended family, send to your children's schools. Amazing. Um, if I may say so myself, they can buy my book there and then you can find me on both Instagram and TikTok at Alyssa Goldwater. that's me.

Rebecca Sigala 1:03:08

Incredible. Thank you. Thank you for being you and thank you for bringing so much light and. Honesty to the world.

Alyssa Goldwater 1:03:17

That is so nice. And really, this was such a lovely conversation. I love everything you say and I cannot wait to follow you more closely now because I feel like we are soul sisters.

Rebecca Sigala 1:03:29

Totally. We are on the same wavelength. Thank you so much. Thank you for coming.