Roasty Toasty Ghosty
Roasty Toasty Ghosty — The comedy class no one asked for, and everyone needs.
Each week, Lauren and Mattias “teach” you something completely useless — from fake history lessons and chaotic crash courses to games, quizzes, and whatever else their sleep-deprived brains come up with. Think educational chaos… but make it funny.
Roasty Toasty Ghosty
[Leftovers] #174
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Beginning music - Energetic Prog Rock from AdobeStock
Intermission & ending music - Marshmallow Overload by Avocado Junkie
The story, all names, characters, and incidents portrayed in this production are fictitious. No identification with actual persons (living or deceased), places, buildings, and products is intended or should be inferred.
Neither hosts are scientists or historians and all content displayed is strictly for entertainment purposes only. Simply put, not a single word spoken in this podcast is or should be taken seriously.
No ghosties were harmed in the making of this podcast.
Sitting On Balls And Ball Taps
SPEAKER_01And you have the ball.
SPEAKER_04I have balls.
SPEAKER_01The yoga.
SPEAKER_04I got big ball. I got one big ball.
SPEAKER_01You cannot lie.
SPEAKER_04Uh no.
SPEAKER_01I don't know why.
SPEAKER_04I'm sitting on it.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04How often I have a I have a man question.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Okay.
SPEAKER_04How often do you sit on your balls?
SPEAKER_01Not that often.
SPEAKER_04No. No. Okay.
SPEAKER_01They're not that low. No? They're not. No. They're no.
SPEAKER_04They're no? Alright. I guess you aim to sit on your butt anyway.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I mean, maybe like on a bike. I can I can leaning forward.
SPEAKER_04Then uh and then you pinch them a little bit.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't like that.
SPEAKER_04You don't? No. Why not?
SPEAKER_01Because it hurts.
SPEAKER_04Weak.
SPEAKER_01And also getting kicked in between the legs. You don't like that? No. You should stop that.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Alright. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01You didn't know that you shouldn't do that or in high school.
SPEAKER_04I have a I have a story for you now. Okay. Okay. I had a boyfriend in high school. Shocker, right? Oh. Out of the millions that I had. I had one boyfriend who uh I got particularly close to. And um I used to give him a tap on the balls. Oh. Because it was funny.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04And he didn't like it.
SPEAKER_01No, I get that.
SPEAKER_04He he didn't like being ball tapped.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_04And and then he would get mad at me. But I thought it was funny.
SPEAKER_01I mean, I kind of get it, because uh it feels like uh guys often tap the butt of you know, women's butts. And uh but I mean I get we all have butts. Yeah, so that would be if you would do the same, it would be on his butt, not on his bowels.
SPEAKER_04Right. I guess I got confused. Yeah you can't tell the difference.
SPEAKER_01Is this your front or back?
SPEAKER_04Um I don't know. There's just there's lumps all over the place.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Just picked one.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean, I don't know if uh guys tap other places than butt. I I I don't know. I uh I usually don't do any of them.
SPEAKER_04No. No, not really you don't touch other guys.
SPEAKER_01Or girls.
SPEAKER_04Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_01No, no.
SPEAKER_04Was that me or you?
SPEAKER_01That was me.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_01So yeah, I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
Meditation And Yoga Detour
SPEAKER_01So yeah.
SPEAKER_04Meditation. Somehow we got from meditation to ball tapping.
SPEAKER_01To tapping balls. Yeah. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Alright.
SPEAKER_01Um start by breathing.
SPEAKER_04This is the only yoga I know of.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_04There's lots of stretching and flexibility.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Or we can No. No. Yep. Yep. All right. Aww. That clip really had me laughing. I'm like, that's you and me.
SPEAKER_04It is.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04It's pretty funny.
SPEAKER_01Yep.
Planning Movies And Daily Texts
SPEAKER_04Yep. Oh. Nothing's going on here. Okay. Gets hard to my pong since I'm not using it. What are we what are we doing?
SPEAKER_01We're gonna come up with movies.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_01Right.
SPEAKER_04And then what?
SPEAKER_01Then I know.
SPEAKER_04How about what if uh what if we combine something? Because you don't have anything else, right?
SPEAKER_02True.
SPEAKER_04True. Okay, so what if we do the movies in the first part, like we do, and then movies, and then the second part we can do the men and women thing that I had from last time.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah.
SPEAKER_04I feel like that's been the entire week. Like we have nothing else to talk about.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, pretty much. If it's something special, we would take it in messenger. Like uh I want to show you a clip.
SPEAKER_04Pictures and links and clips. Yeah. And oh yeah. And pictures.
SPEAKER_01I'm on a bus.
SPEAKER_04That's all that's anything that's in between good morning and good night is I'm on a bus.
SPEAKER_01I'm waiting for a bus.
SPEAKER_04Waiting for a bus. I'm home now. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay, awesome.
SPEAKER_04Cool.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. I fixed the movies.
SPEAKER_04Okay. I wonder if we actually said anything else. Yeah. I'm gonna take pictures, apparently.
SPEAKER_01Oh, okay.
SPEAKER_04There goes my charger. Oh, we need to have movie night now. What was the what was the date on Monday?
SPEAKER_01I don't remember.
SPEAKER_04Why don't you know anything? I don't know. It was the 23rd.
SPEAKER_01Okay, that's true.
SPEAKER_04In case you didn't know.
SPEAKER_01Now I know. 23rd. Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01Okay, so we're going from Monday. Now we're going to go to the first time. I'm going from Monday. Friday.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04Now.
SPEAKER_01No. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04I'm going through the past four days. Okay. Because this is quality content.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, quality entertainment.
SPEAKER_04Entertainment as well. It's entertaining. Oh no.
SPEAKER_01That was not part of the text.
SPEAKER_04Wednesday. Oh no, March 25th. Other things, and I lost it. Uh who had a dream? Yeah. You had a dream.
SPEAKER_01I had a dream.
SPEAKER_04I had a dream.
SPEAKER_01Huh did I already tell you about the dream I had? No. Uh no, that was before.
SPEAKER_04You said I had a dream that I was working at leavers again, unfortunately. And uh more things. And I lost it. Okay. Where'd it go? Okay. Blah blah blah. Other things. And uh and uh blah blah blah. Uh I am a impact and stuff. Nice. So that is uh I've been crying all day.
SPEAKER_01Oh no.
SPEAKER_04Oh no.
SPEAKER_01Oh no, don't cry.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Alright. I guess I won't do them.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Good.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Anything else?
SPEAKER_01No, I don't know. Where do you want to start this? I think it's your turn to start it this time.
SPEAKER_04Water.
SPEAKER_01Yes.
SPEAKER_04Alright.
SPEAKER_01Okay. So are we gonna do a short episode today?
SPEAKER_04Thank you for listening. Goodbye.
April Fools And The One Fan
SPEAKER_01We're gonna cut down on the word.
SPEAKER_04When is April 1st?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Oh it's not the same as last year. It's on April 1st. Yeah, I think it's on a Wednesday.
SPEAKER_04Well, that's fun. We don't usually post anything on Wednesdays.
SPEAKER_01No, we don't. And uh I don't know. Last year's uh April Fool's joke wasn't a big hit.
SPEAKER_04I guess not. I liked it though. Yeah I worked hard.
SPEAKER_01I liked it, but uh our fan did not like it that much.
SPEAKER_04Well, our fan is dumb.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01We got one.
SPEAKER_04Hello, my name is Lauren.
SPEAKER_01Hello, Lauren. Good day, Lauren.
SPEAKER_04Good day. Was I supposed to say something else?
SPEAKER_01No. Okay. I said good day.
SPEAKER_04You said good day. Because you're funny.
SPEAKER_01It's daytime.
SPEAKER_04It is daytime.
SPEAKER_01I uh I just I don't want to know what time it is.
SPEAKER_04I think I like it the way it is.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Nothing about what what this is or what about our fan?
SPEAKER_04The one fan.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. They don't know what well and then again you just insulted her, so she's dumb. And what happens here?
SPEAKER_04What happens here? We talk.
SPEAKER_01We talk. Do we learn anything? No. Nothing.
SPEAKER_04Nothing at all. Oh, okay. And what was now I get it.
SPEAKER_01What? Now I get it. Yeah. So yeah, cool. Are you hi?
SPEAKER_04I was in the basement.
SPEAKER_01Oh yeah, that's true. I said good day.
SPEAKER_04Idaho. Aida.
SPEAKER_01You the hoe.
SPEAKER_04My last name I'm changing to ho.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Hoah. Yeah. Hua. Hoa.
SPEAKER_01Hua. Hua. Hua. Like. Hua. So that's for English people speaking people.
SPEAKER_04You still put the O in front of the A. Ho wa.
SPEAKER_01Ho wa.
SPEAKER_04Idahoa.
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Ida Ho Wa.
SPEAKER_04Did you get it?
SPEAKER_01I did.
SPEAKER_04Okay.
SPEAKER_01From the start.
SPEAKER_04Okay. Nineteen minutes.
SPEAKER_01We're I got that out. Yeah, we're well into this.
SPEAKER_04Um.
SPEAKER_01Okay, okay, okay, okay. Yeah, okay. Uh I was thinking like a uh song cover.
SPEAKER_04It's not a song cover. No. It's a feelings cover. Feelings cover. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay, I get it now. Uh I've done some things.
SPEAKER_04Broccoli. What? Did you chop broccoli?
SPEAKER_01No. Would. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I killed them. Killed her.
SPEAKER_04Don't like it.
SPEAKER_01At least I got computers.
SPEAKER_04I guess. But I'm going to lock them.
SPEAKER_01Oh no.
SPEAKER_04You don't know the code. Maybe you do. I'm sure you've watched all of my code. You could probably get into any of the computers you're I'm not so sure. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01I can try.
SPEAKER_04Yeah, sure. Um, then I'm gonna look for what?
SPEAKER_01Okay. Oh, maybe I should have uh put cobra on a stick or something for you, but I forgot.
SPEAKER_03Maybe.
SPEAKER_01Forgot about that.
SPEAKER_03Um cheese.
SPEAKER_01Cheese?
SPEAKER_03Cheese.
SPEAKER_01I can have cheese or something.
SPEAKER_04Okay. What was the last one?
SPEAKER_01The last one?
SPEAKER_04What were we covering on 150?
SPEAKER_01I think I did wait.
SPEAKER_04Like what movies did we watch that night? Let's find out. Yeah. So I can go to the right spot. Mad Max and Night at the Museum. Oh, okay. There's that. Okay, okay. A movie that I like a lot, but you didn't. I have one that is screaming at me. Okay. But I don't remember what you thought about it. So I'm gonna look at and I'm gonna read the transcript.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Don't don't read the title, just what I thought about it, and I tried.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Okay. And I get the guess.
SPEAKER_04Uh yeah, do that.
SPEAKER_01Okay. Yeah, because we're usually very detailed when we're talking about movies. I liked it.
SPEAKER_03I liked it.
SPEAKER_01Could have been better.
SPEAKER_03Thank you. Thank you. Blah, blah, blah. Are you moving?
SPEAKER_01No. Oh yeah, that movie. Oh. Blah blah blah.
SPEAKER_03Oh here. Okay.
SPEAKER_01Darn it. I liked it. I refuse to say what I thought about this movie.
SPEAKER_04Well, I haven't seen any problems so far. He's back.
SPEAKER_01I'm sorry. Sorry if I'm not disliking. Okay.
SPEAKER_04You know what? I'm gonna give it to you anyway. I mean Hey!
SPEAKER_03You think so? Yeah, post car and come. I thought that was next to the Putnam. Hi. How do we have to? Yeah. Brah. Did you make that? Yeah, I didn't compete MRM.
SPEAKER_04Aw, that's nice. Did you say hi to Matthias? You don't want to say hi? Dumb. He's not dumb. You like him.
SPEAKER_01Okay. No uh um yeah.
SPEAKER_04No questions asked.
SPEAKER_01I don't like uh uh I we have touched on this today.
SPEAKER_04Have we?
SPEAKER_01Yeah. Tapping.
SPEAKER_04Tapping.
SPEAKER_01Tapping, tapping. Well that has uh I would say that's part of it.
SPEAKER_04Maybe.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't know. Um I uh I do have s some experience of uh I mean sexual harassment?
SPEAKER_04A little bit, yeah.
SPEAKER_01Me. No.
SPEAKER_04I I don't sexually harass you. No, no. Okay.
SPEAKER_01No, you don't. No, uh you know, um uh in in school or I mean that wasn't really sexual harassment, it's more like uh um bullying, I would say. Yeah. Because uh it was a uh it wasn't not at my school, we visited another school and uh there was this girl who uh you know tapped my ass. Yeah. And uh, you know, the uh just doing so for I I don't know, shaming me or yeah, being funny for her friends, you know.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01Uh and uh I mean she had a boyfriend. Um later on she showed uh her boyfriend off, of course.
SPEAKER_04Yeah.
SPEAKER_01And um yeah, it was like a power move.
SPEAKER_04Right.
SPEAKER_01So uh I have some experience. Yeah, but not no like cat calling really.
SPEAKER_04No.
SPEAKER_01No.
SPEAKER_04No, it's just me who harasses you now.
SPEAKER_01But you do do you have like uh Yes. Yes, you do.
SPEAKER_04I do. I have experience with sexual harassment.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I mean uh I have given it a lot to you specifically.
SPEAKER_04You are my main victim. Yeah, but I mean I have been sexually harassed on my school bus. And then when I asked my mom if I could like, I don't know, find another way to get to school, uh, I was told to brush it off.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, okay.
SPEAKER_04So yeah.
SPEAKER_01Um those were guys, one guy or other?
SPEAKER_04Yeah, it was one guy mainly who was known for sexually harassing other girls.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04And I was one of them, and I was extremely uncomfortable being on the bus. Especially when my guy friends weren't around me.
SPEAKER_02Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Uh so there are no uh uh uh uh uh I am not thinking of words today.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04Slap me. Get it.
SPEAKER_01Where? There it is.
SPEAKER_04Thank you.
SPEAKER_01You're welcome.
SPEAKER_04Ew. That's not a snack. He feels the feels. Stop doing that. That's what I was told. Slap on the wrist and don't do that. Ow.
SPEAKER_01I just got there.
SPEAKER_04Yeah. Number three. Like, stop doing that. I just feel bugs all over me now. Oh my gosh.
SPEAKER_01Like you're like you were talking about. This is just like a I guess stereotype or something. If a uh kid ends uh, you know, up in a if they're uh I lost it.
SPEAKER_04Oh keep happening.
SPEAKER_01You keep losing it.
SPEAKER_04I do.
SPEAKER_01Few people know we're still about men. Yes. Are we only gonna do men today?
SPEAKER_04No, I'm we're gonna do women as well.
SPEAKER_01Okay.
SPEAKER_04You're funny.
SPEAKER_01Well, yeah, okay. I don't know.
SPEAKER_04Hmm. Okay, number one. We're gonna get to woman later. Soon, okay.
SPEAKER_01Still the same episode.
SPEAKER_04It's the same episode.
SPEAKER_01Okay. We're not doing women next week.
Colorblind Tests And Listener Prompts
SPEAKER_04Uh two-parter. No, no, it is uh one episode. Okay. How can you tell if you're colorblind?
SPEAKER_00Can Ishihara test it's a numb can all I dot or five sides? Reb yellow. Would you like me to find online test for yes? One of comm is check for color line, isha, like one. Uh try that one check for color line, ish har like one. In a pussy number red, my twenty one. May not or a more common. You've tried scramble colors.
SPEAKER_04This is a Shush, is it my fault? No. Okay. Ugh. Okay, next.
SPEAKER_01Oh my god, this is gonna be so long.
SPEAKER_04Do you wanna quit?
SPEAKER_01I don't know. Uh okay if you want. And uh while we're uh talking about that, uh maybe uh people wanna give us uh you know, uh I don't know, suggestions about women if they You wanna give suggestions about women?
SPEAKER_04Yeah Can you just like be better?
SPEAKER_01No, I'm I'm thinking more like uh I don't know uh if they wanna like uh bring up stuff about women because I'm uh our fan is a woman. Or maybe men, but we're not talking about men anymore. We're done talking about men.
SPEAKER_04Um, and it gave me a really long answer, so I'm just gonna ask uh TLDR.
SPEAKER_01Yeah.
SPEAKER_04Sometime. Hey buddy, we're almost done here, okay? I love you. Hi, goodbye. Hi Matias. Hi. I said No, that's not nice XM. Uh hormones and personality can make crying less likely. Don't know if I already said that.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, I don't know. But now I know. Okay.