Purpose in Technology & Work Life Choices- Pratibha Aphale

On this episode of Life Beats with Sirisha, we are joined by Pratibha Aphale, Senior Vice President, Information Security at Goldman Sachs, who also sits on the board of DFW ATW, the Alliance for Technology and Women. They discuss purpose, technology, and work-life choices. They talk about finding what works for each individual and setting boundaries both at work and at home regardless of family or personal situation. They also emphasize the importance of networking, providing value, and paying it forward, and the idea that life is 90% what happens to you and 10% what you do about it. 

Pratibha and Sirisha discuss making work-life choices instead of aiming for balance, setting boundaries for oneself, and the importance of finding what works for each individual. Sirisha emphasizes the importance of clarity, community, and paying it forward in networking, and encourages listeners to communicate their interests and goals to their managers. Tune in for more valuable advice on connecting, finding purpose in your work, and achieving a fulfilling life.

Pratibha Aphale is the head of Information Security for a division of Goldman Sachs. She has had a winding, unplanned journey to get to this point, but has enjoyed the learning journey.

You can join Sahita, a South Asian global community for career and financial empowerment. 

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I'm a former tech executive, a podcast host and an entrepreneur. I work with Universities on Organizations to transition students to the corporate world and building successful leadership pipelines ensuring a healthy financial future.

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Transcript

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:00:00]:

Good. Hello everyone and welcome to Life Beats with Serisha on Radio Caravan, 104.1 FM and 700 a. M. This is your host, Dr. Serisha Kuchimanchi. I'm a former tech executive, a podcast host and an entrepreneur. I host the podcast women Career and Life. It's a top 30% spotify podcast. If you're wondering how to navigate your career, you're trying to decide what conversations to have with your boss. You can check it out on any of your podcast platforms and take a listen to it. I founded the Global Community for South Asian Women. For career and financial empowerment you can join Sahita. Sahita means well measure and some grid and it's around finding support in a community and being able to have conversations and find like minded women. As you are driving towards financial independence and career growth or Pivot, you can check out the community on Sahita Live. S-A-H-I-T-A li. You can see what it offers and stuff and join it from there. And let's dive in. It's beautiful. We are sitting across the highway and it's starting to get a little crowded there. But I'm excited about today's conversation. I have with me Pratipa bale. She works for the firm. If you're wondering what the firm is, it is Goldman Sachs. And for those of you who might be in banking, you might know what I mean. It's an institution and it's very hard to get into. And today's conversation with Prasiba is around purpose and technology and work life choices and Prasiba and I met through Vfwatw. If there are any women here in technology, I would strongly urge you to check out Bfwatw It's Alliance for Technology and Women. The Pratika is actually on the board and we will start off by Pratipa. Why don't you introduce yourself, tell us a little bit about yourself and then we can dive into our conversation today.

Pratibha Aphale [00:02:00]:

Well, thank you Dr. Sharisha. It was a great introduction. You are doing a lot and I might have some questions myself for you. So anyway, thank you so much for having me here today. I am really excited and it's a pleasure and an honor to be here. So as far as introduction, I work at Goldman Sachs leading Information security for a division and getting up to this point has been a pretty windy road, fairly unplanned. I'm enjoying the journey as well as learning a lot. It's been a continuous learning journey.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:02:46]:

You said a couple of things right, it's been a winding journey and where you ended up, how did you get because when we talked you are a civil engineer and I know quite a few people who are probably listening have made the decision from engineering into It sector. I think it's more about navigating that path upward than going and oftentimes you hear the beginning and the endpoint and you think oh, what is this straight line? And they went through it successfully, but that's never the story. So what is yours?

Pratibha Aphale [00:03:12]:

You're absolutely right. I know many people where the line? It's just not linear. So mine back in india, I completed my undergraduate in civil engineering. Believe it or not, it's some crazy decisions with a distinction. I was able to go into electronics and computers, but I decided to stick with my friends who are still my friends for life and stay complete civil engineering. And again, no such plan of doing a master's or going out of country, but I saw some of my friends doing that, and my only plan was not to get married after bachelor's. So with that thought, I'm like, let's do this. So going through the process, ended up here. Got a master's in telecommunications management, which is essentially computer science and Telecommun project. Started working. I started in technical sales, believe it or not, and learned a lot about communication, negotiation, and how do you really not sell but solve a problem? And so going into that, went into techie and quickly started realizing over the years that I think my strength has been and always is finding the problem and connecting the dots, not necessarily focusing on the techie. So I was offered a manager role at the same company. I was there for ten years, and going from peer to manager or peer to manager was another challenge. I managed the same people. Still, some of my friends, we worked at a different company, same people. So navigating through those challenges and embarking on a leadership journey has been a very humbling experience, I have to say. Accepting your own faults is not easy, but it's very humbling, and it's a journey that I think is very fulfilling as well. At least to me. It has been very fulfilling and continues to be so, and it really lends itself into personal and professional life. So, yeah, going from, again, civil engineering to today, going into I was managing technology departments for mid sized organizations back in those days. Several years ago, there wasn't an information security function like it is today. And so that fell into my lap accidentally. We had an incident, and I remember working 1820 hours days with my team, and suddenly I became like, oh, here is information security. So I got into it more, and this is where I am at today. Again, being a pivot in the career, but learning a lot.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:05:55]:

When you're talking about your journey, I think when opportunities come your way, you have to be willing to take them. You might be petrified, you may know nothing, but what you have to realize often is probably the person around you also doesn't know a lot, especially when it's new. So you're all learning. And if you're working through the crisis, that's when you learn the most. As scary as it is and systems and things come out of it and new ways of doing things right. I mean, following the strain and narrow is very rarely. I mean, my kids are going off to college and you're like, you're planning the future, but who knows what the future actually is and what the future will be with everything that's happening with technology, that it may not be the same at all.

Pratibha Aphale [00:06:35]:

Yeah, you hit it on the nail. You learn through the process, right. That the person around you is probably equally scared and trying to figure things out, and then yeah. I think whenever I tried to plan as such, life had a different something in store, and just jumping in, headfirst towards a problem and figuring it out has been, I think, very rewarding as well. And isn't that what we're living, to kind of have that fulfilling experience, in my opinion, and making heads and tails out of what are we going to do? How are we going to solve this problem? So it's easier said than done. Absolutely. But again, that's what makes it worthwhile, I would say.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:07:25]:

Yeah. And the ability to be curious, asking questions, not feeling like you should know all the answers. I think we often feel like we should know everything before we show up at the table. And even you say getting into manager roles, I think that's what holds a lot of us back, is feeling like we need to know all the answers. For me, I remember the only reason I even applied the first time or even thought about it was a friend kept asking me how many times I even helped me in my next move. I'm like, oh, I'm going to apply to this other engineering job. He's like, Why not the manager's job? I'm like, well, they all seem to have these ideas. I don't know if I have them. How are you going to manage people?

Pratibha Aphale [00:08:04]:

Like, you have to solve every problem. I've been there. It's absolutely true. And we get in our own way. We get in our own way.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:08:17]:

And the thing is, if you already knew the answers, why do you need.

Pratibha Aphale [00:08:22]:

That is so true. Yeah, absolutely. That has been one of the things is how do I break through that? Right? You mentioned technology and purpose, and technology is very addictive. It's very transactional here. Solve this issue at hand and move on. And if you have to be a long term player, it was essential for me to find a purpose, and it's always been connecting to the bottom line and aligning with the business and really connecting with people to see what drives them. How do we go about solving business problems? And that has actually really helped me to grow and understand, because it's not about the emotions, it's really how are we solving those problems? So the journey continues, and that has been really working out for me as far as purpose and being in technology.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:09:26]:

As you're talking about connecting. By the way, the phone lines are open. If you want to ask me a question, you can hop on and go live on air. The studio number is 2148-1733. I'm going to repeat it again. 2148-1733. We would love to have your questions. Tell us your own experience with technology, your Pivot, and join us during this conversation. So you're talking about connecting. Right. And for me, it's been a journey because I work in tech for a long time. I just sort of transitioned out of my corporate job and finding that purpose, finding the threats that connect when I'm doing all these different things, it's kind of hard. And also not to get burnt out by doing all this stuff. And you say 14 hours, 16 hours, days. There are times during crisis and escalation when we all do that. But I think it's also important for us to remember to not make that part of our daily routine.

Pratibha Aphale [00:10:23]:

You have shown extreme courage to me. You exhibit so much courage, Dr. Sharisha, because it's not easy to, if you will, to go from something that is stable to going out of your comfort zone and bringing so many different topics that are at heart of people and talking about them. So I appreciate that. I listen in and I cannot tell you how many times I'm like, oh, yeah, that was a question that was at my heart. And there is an answer. I can try that. I can try this. You just provide so many different options and views from experts and SMEs out there that is not possible by ourselves.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:11:06]:

Yeah, and thank you for that. And for those of you who have questions, if you have questions, like I said, call the phone line. 214-8173. And what we find is so I'm going to talk about this research, which kind of talks with purpose, right? One of the things that we find often is when there's an opening or a job opening or anything, any opportunities that is there. That kind of two reactions people have just to give it a very broad brush. Women, if there are five things, tend to check the box like we just talked about. You want to check every box before you apply to the job. Research shows that men tend to have like one or two boxes checked and take it. And yes, they say you have to be ready, kind of for the next job, but doesn't mean you have to be fully ready because then you already have done the job. So that's not the thing. So what we're trying to say is, whether you have all the skills or don't have the skills, please have the conversation with the right people that you're interested in these opportunities. If they think you're not ready, they will tell you, ask them for steps and ask for feedback to get ready for that role. Maybe it's a slide shift, but then you put your name in that hat, they know you're interested. Because oftentimes I'll tell you from the other side, from the manager side. We think we know who is interested, we consider the people. But if people are not telling us, and they're not usually the ones who are advocating or being vocal or showing up in the spaces we see them, it is very hard to say what you're interested, so you have to be specific with the art. And isn't it better that you kind of I mean, we control our destiny, so we should be telling them, this is the kind of roles I'm interested in. Maybe not this, because you will get picked for whichever one. You may not have to say completely in, but at least it gives you some leeway in providing what you want to excel in or what you want to learn and stuff. So think about it from that standpoint.

Pratibha Aphale [00:12:54]:

I couldn't agree more Sharisha to add to that. Right? I mean, you probably heard life is 90% of what happens to you and 10% of what you do about it. And when I read that, I'm like, wait, I'm only responsible for 10%? Wow, that is so less than I was getting in my way to kind of solve everything and learn everything and do everything and it's just not enough day and it's frustrating and it makes you anxious and stress and so on. So that really helped me. And going back to your interview and applying questions, what I would add to that is you hit it on the nail, if that is your goal, and you're still thinking, hey, I'm still preparing and I'm not sure if I'm the right person at all, try it. I have done interviews, I applied, I got the opportunity interview and I somewhere new, I'm not sure if I'm ready, right. But I'm still going to go try it. I used that interview opportunity as a conversation and I asked for feedback even after the interview. And I was very honest, I said, hey, what do you think I should be still working on? And so on. And I got really good feedback. I connected with those people and that really helped me. So, like I said in the beginning, it's a very humbling journey to accept what you continue to improve on, but it's also very rewarding.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:14:19]:

Yeah. And there are so many allies. I had a phenomenal hedgehog partner who helped me navigate the first few months and years because it was incredibly tough to understand how to manage people. And when you're saying getting that feedback, talking to that first person in my case, actually one of the first interviews I did like that while I was trying for the job, though, I didn't get it. I first got great feedback on how to show up and what to do at work, but the second thing is that person ended up kind of talking about me to their manager, so gave me visibility there and sort of opened doors over time. When I think back and look back and when I start telling stories and I'm like, wait, that was the conversation I had, or this one I had. I used to meet people, but I never really gave it a lot of thought on how this will turn. It five years from now or four years from now or whatever. But they're all pivotal conversations. So when we are talking about when you hear the word networking and you're thinking, oh, I'm cringing like, oh, should I do that? It's conversation.

Pratibha Aphale [00:15:18]:

It is act push yourself. Push yourself to be out of the comfort zone is all I can say. And we can't say it enough, right? We just cannot say it enough because it is so important. You just never know where that conversation when it will come up. Who knows who. I have to say people. I found more than anything, people want to help. They want to help. They want to refer you, they want to feel good and you have to pay it forward.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:15:48]:

Exactly. So it's important to form a connection. So networking is about connection and community. So being able to ask for specific don't say I want to do this. Like very broad. I want to go to engineering if you're a student, yes, but I want to do a job, do some research and come and ask them a specific question because then they're able to help you and also be able to provide value and pay forward is very important. And having those conversations because I hear this and I did a LinkedIn not too long ago, LinkedIn Live. And I'm talking about networking and I think oftentimes we think of networking very transactional or opportunistic. I feel like I'm asking them something. There is nothing wrong with asking someone for something. But don't make it only about the ask or only go every time before you need a job.

Pratibha Aphale [00:16:34]:

It is very subtle. Yeah. In fact, research says, and I've experienced this, do it when you don't need something.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:16:41]:

Totally true. So start looking for it today. If you think, oh, I'm happy and comfortable, that is the best time to start building your network. Start talking to people, learning more about other jobs, other things. Maybe it's not a very job. Maybe you want to start something yourself. Whatever you think you want, start because that is when the pressure is off you and start building that. Of course, if you are in a crunch time or you've experienced the layoff through the recent layoff, or you are graduating and you're trying to do that we're not saying not to do that. Go ahead and reach out to people. People understand the landscape. They still want to help. Think about how you want to rephrase it, how you want to ask. You know, there's actually AI now for resume AI networking questions.

Pratibha Aphale [00:17:26]:

You mean next time you'll have an AI bot here instead of me? No. It is so true. Yeah.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:17:35]:

Think about how Google and people and we have all had mistakes. Some of them completely bombed. Certain discussions, certain communications and I'm thinking oh my God, what did I do? But some you can't go back.

Pratibha Aphale [00:17:47]:

But that is necessary to learn. How else would you learn? Mistakes are it has been hard for me to accept but unless I make a mistake, I won't learn.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:17:57]:

Going back to your 10%?

Pratibha Aphale [00:18:01]:

Yeah, but it's still a lot, right? We get in our own way by trying to control it all. And I think being on a mindful journey that I am, I've learned to let it just flow, focus on what I can focus and have my priorities clear. There are good and bad days, but the point is pick up and move on.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:18:27]:

For those of you tuning in, we have a couple more minutes. This is life pieces. We have about six minutes. You're listening to Dr. Tisha Kujiminski and Pratifa Apali who's been here talking about purpose and technology and work life choices. You can tune in, listen to my podcast Women Career and Life and as stories and advice to achieve career growth and join the South Asian global community for career and financial empowerment. For South Asian women, Sahita means Valbition and Sanskrit and you can join Sahita by going to Sahita live li V-E-S-A-H-I-T-A-N-I-V. Check out the website, check out if it's something that speaks to you, you can then join and I hope to see you online. You can also email me and DM me Women Career and Life Instagram or email messages. If you have questions, ideas for this show, things you want to ask and if you want to call us back right now, live on air, the number is 2148-1733. This show is about showcasing phenomenal people who are doing things in this community around us on opportunities that we may not know about or things we may not have access to and having those discussions because if we don't hear it, we do not know they're very unlikely to know about it. So it's very important to be talking about it. One of the things is I think your kids are older, mine are older. Can we make a lot of work life choices? What do you think about? I know we hear the term work life balance work life actually, I kind of started to put those aside and I wanted to stick to the word work life choices because at different stages I make different choices. And what is it that works for you? Like productive behavior?

Pratibha Aphale [00:20:12]:

Yeah, no, that's a great question. And I firmly believe that the work life balance term was coined especially for women. Traditionally. I think my mom was a homemaker, so I always saw her. She was always there for me and for my siblings. Obviously we have to adopt strategies, navigate the stress that comes with work so we don't bring it home and have a fulfilling life. Again, priorities are going to be different, I'm sure when kids are little or if you're caring for someone, it's a different phase of life versus for me right now I have a little more time as as my kids are independent. So I think for me, in my case personally, I have made some decisions where simple like okay, I will not be going to a job in downtown, I used to be in Minnesota. That will take me 2 hours because that will be less time for me with my kids. I mean, I've made those decisions, it was my conscious choice. I did give up on some opportunities, but I have absolutely no regret and those are my priorities. Always help me clarify if there is any crossroads that I come across, which has been plenty of times, I will make sure that I go through that and make those decisions. So it's really important to have that clarity and talk to people. Understand where you want to be, if you have a plan. Like I said, I was going more with the flow, but that clarity is important and have those strategies. I'm a planner, I organize a lot. Which also means that I had to learn how to deal with change and ambiguity because things that you plan don't always go accordingly. And so that was my learning. How do I change those strategies, but simple things. At home, asking for help, I was really bad at that. So please ask for help. Don't just get frustrated. And again, focus on the 10%, what you can control. You can't solve everything. So ask for help. So that has worked for me and again continuing to continue to learn. I'm sure there's other strategies that listeners know often that can share. Maybe you can share some.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:22:39]:

I like this. Whatever you said, I think applies both inside work and outside work. And it's not whether you have family or you're young and single and this thing, you still have boundaries. So set boundaries for yourself at work and at home as much as possible. Because I think what you said about values, what are the most important things? The non negotiables. Remember those because work will take as much of the space as you give it. I'm not CEO say this or I think one of the ladies, I just did a LinkedIn live today and what she said is her CEO say is you work to live, not the other way. Think about it and set those boundaries because life is incredibly long, it's to be enjoyed as well. So make sure you are doing it for what is important to you and clarify that what is important to you is actually really important to you and not what someone else has told you and to you. Because we often get caught up in the stories that we hear. I'm sure we're telling those stories to our children too. So as we're thinking about it, what are we doing and what are we telling? So we have about a minute left. So, Pratiba, is there any other things you wanted to share before we sign off?

Pratibha Aphale [00:23:49]:

This has been a pleasure. Like I said, has reminded me of so many things that serves as a good reminder and has been great to kind of know about this show and the LinkedIn live and the business Sahita that you're running. Good luck to you and no, I'm really excited and thank you for having me.

Sirisha Kuchimanchi [00:24:11]:

Yeah, thank you. This was a pleasure. I'm sure it's always great for us to relive our own stories and see them. And for those of you see you next Thursday at 02:00. We are going to talk about life in academia, the myths around it and some of the things that Neha and Karabi, who are joining us, love about the job. So if you are ever thinking of it or trying to understand what is a professor do or what does that look like, hop in on Thursdays at 02:00 at this live feed in Sarisha. We'd love to see you. I do want to thank you again, Katima, for being on the show and I'm sure we'll continue to see each other. Check out DFW ADW. I'm a member, she's on the board of it. It's a phenomenal organization. See you everyone, for next time.

Pratibha Aphale [00:24:53]:

Thank you.