What to Do When the Church Fails You

What do you do when the people who are supposed to represent Jesus are the ones who hurt you?

Church hurt is real. Whether it's betrayal, gossip, abuse of authority, or disappointment, many people have walked away from church because of painful experiences. But does the failure of Christians mean Christ has failed?

In this message from Colossians 3, Pastor Greg Sukert explores the difference between legitimate church hurt and rejecting biblical truth, while pointing us to the only perfect Head of the Church: Jesus Christ.

Rather than importing the ways of the world into the church, Scripture calls believers to put on Christ, put sin to death, and become people marked by humility, forgiveness, and love.

You'll discover:

•  Why church hurt happens 
•  The difference between biblical conviction and genuine church abuse 
•  Why Jesus is never the one who fails us 
•  How Christians are called to respond when they hurt one another 
•  What it means to put off the old self and put on Christ 
•  Why forgiveness and repentance are essential for a healthy church 

No church is perfect because no church is made up of perfect people. But there is a perfect Savior, and His love is what makes healing possible.

Scripture: Colossians 3:1-17

If this message encouraged you, subscribe for more biblical teaching and share it with someone who has been wrestling with church hurt. 

Transcript

SPEAKER_01 0:00

Hey guys, how's it going? How are you doing? Hey, doing good. My name's Greg. I'm asking people a question on um when you hear uh about the church hurting people, what comes to mind?

SPEAKER_04 0:12

Normally um it's a thing where they don't focus on relationships first, and the message is driven around blame and judgment.

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Really, I think about how some people they get caught up by the wrong things going to church. They focus on the people and sort of the message, and that's where a lot of that comes from.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

Not being understood or feeling like you can't be yourself within your church. I feel the same thing.

SPEAKER_03 0:39

I think like having a sense of shame because of what you're taught in church.

SPEAKER_01 0:43

When you say blame and judgment, what do you mean like shaming people?

SPEAKER_04 0:47

Yeah, I think you know, I mean, we all you know sometimes not don't make the best decisions of they need to hear, but how the messages delivered might not be the good, right? So it may make them feel as though, or the people around them may make them feel as though they not they don't belong.

SPEAKER_01 1:07

So what would that be like? What would be an example of like shame in the church or the church shaming people?

SPEAKER_02 1:12

Um maybe like if you're gay or something like that, just kind of be shunned for like just being you. I feel like and like just like feeling like you're not understood by people who are supposed to like love you, like no matter what.

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Gotcha. What about you? Anything else to add?

SPEAKER_03 1:31

Um well that, but also certain denominations you have to come very uh like put together, and it kind of defeats the purpose of like come as you are, I guess, like feel ashamed of your time. Well, like the best self church.

SPEAKER_01 1:46

Yeah. So creating a grace-based environment that it's not just about your need for God and your sin, but I'm a sinner too. I need God's grace, I need Christ to change me.

SPEAKER_04 1:59

Yeah, I mean, I I think we are on the same wall, and so uh we're walking beside each other, not you know uh feeling like you know someone is greater than the next.

SPEAKER_01 2:11

I think there's like a hard balance like in the church because um the Bible, have you read the Bible before? Has a lot to say about you know what is sin, what what does it mean to be in rebellion to God, but also it has a lot to say about like what God has done to redeem us and to transform us by the life, death, and resurrection of Christ. So that gets really tough when you're talking about like the church has the responsibility to like teach the Bible, which when you talk about like sexuality, the Bible talks a lot about you know marriage being between a lifelong union between one man, one woman. You know, how did how would you recommend the church like tackle teaching the Bible that's like true to the scriptures, but still do so in a loving, loving way?

SPEAKER_02 2:52

I think like I understand where there are people like coming from it's supposed to be between a man and a woman, and you're not supposed to like um same sex, but I also feel like the Bible just really preaches about loving everybody, and you should really just preach kindness and love to them and not make them feel like their entire existence is a burden.

SPEAKER_04 3:15

Being able to create an environment where people feel safe uh and open to talk about what they're going through without uh feeling good, and so just having uh an open door uh church and uh a welcoming church.

SPEAKER_01 3:30

I actually think in our you know, in our sin that we just do the things that we want to do because we have a sinful human nature, right? We say all the time nobody's perfect. We're just gonna do things that imperfect people do. You know, we're gonna have desires that are not good, we're gonna have things that we chase that are not good. Uh, but that's why I love the Bible, because the Bible actually says, look, you can be remade. Like you can actually be born again by turning to Christ, by turning from your sin. You can be born again, and actually these desires that you have now can be completely changed and transformed to where you don't want things that are against the things that God designed us for, but you want the things that actually are life-giving because God designed us for those things.

SPEAKER_00 4:09

You know, looking at things from the lens of the south instead of you know the overarching, you know, something greater. We're all depraved, even some of the most spiritual people. I mean, nobody is as perfect as Jesus is. I mean, and people can really get led astray by that and get caught up by it. They struggle with it and can't look past it. I love that.

SPEAKER_01 4:30

I mean, you're basically saying when we take our eyes off Christ, the perfect one who is not gonna let us down, put them on people who are gonna let us down because they're fallen, right? Yep. So that means every person that walks through the door not only has the capacity to be hurt, but to hurt other people.

SPEAKER_00 4:47

Absolutely. You nailed it. That was it.

SPEAKER_01 4:51

Good morning, Central Church. My name is Greg Sucert. I'm one of the pastors here. Go ahead and open up your Bible to Colossians chapter 3 this morning. We're gonna be in Colossians chapter 3, and we're gonna be tackling a subject that I think is very important: what to do when the church fails you. Now, I love evangelism. I don't know if you know that, but I love sharing the gospel. And one thing that I've noticed a lot going to college campuses, going out and about on social media, just in everyday life, is I start to hear this resistance to Christ and his gospel all under this banner of the church has failed me or the church has hurt me. And that becomes an obstacle to presenting the gospel to people. And I hear this everywhere. I mean, just recently I heard this when I was getting my hair cut. By the way, getting your hair cut, it is prime time to share the gospel. Sometimes I get haircuts when I don't even need them just because I want to share the gospel again. But this is a this is a common thing. The church has failed me, the church has hurt me. And when you dive deeper into this, I think there are really two categories of this that I have observed. And I'll put them in these two categories. The first would be, I would say, is illegitimate church hurt. Now, what is that? What is illegitimate church hurt? That's when somebody says, Well, the church has hurt me, and then you dive deeper and you say, Well, what do you mean by that? And they say, Well, they said that marriage was is between one man and one woman for life. Uh it's it's it's when the church says uh that that human life is sacred at the moment of conception. It's it's when the church says that God designed us male and female, right? And when people hear the church teaching what the scriptures say on these issues, they say, Oh, well, the church hurt me. And I put that in the category of illegitimate church hurt because that's not that's not the church hurting you, that's not the church being sinful towards you, that's the church loving by preaching truth, by preaching what it means to be sinful and what what we need ultimately to be born again. Uh when people say that I hate the church because they hate the teachings of the Bible, well, I say, it's not the church that you hate. You just don't like Christ. Uh you just don't like the teachings of Christ. On the other hand, you do have the category that I call legitimate church hurt, and this could be uh a range of things from betrayal in a small group to just egregious things that church leaders do, manipulating their power to take advantage of other people. And this is an important topic, and I think we need to talk about it because it's a growing cultural outcry, and it's an issue that the scriptures speak to. And uh, I realize that I need to walk through this carefully this morning because church failure is a real thing. Church failure is a real thing, and it's really painful. You know, on the extreme end, you have bad apples, bad actors who get into positions of leadership and they use their authority to take advantage of people. There are church leaders who bring nonsense theology into the church, who bring the agendas of the world into the pulpit when they should be preaching the scriptures faithfully. They're not preaching the gospel. And friends, the problem of church failure isn't just a problem for pastors and for church leaders. It's actually a problem for all professing believers, because we all are called to do our part to make this a place where Christ is exalted. And people get hurt all the time coming into a church. I mean, just think about somebody who gives the church a chance for the first time in a long time. They walk into a building and nobody notices them. Nobody says anything to them. Or think about the person who's been involved in a church for a very long time, and they get sick and they're out for month after month after month after month, and nobody notices, nobody calls, nobody checks in on them. Think about small group life. You know, you share something trusted with a friend, and and that friend goes and gossips, this this deep information that you shared, and it hurts your heart deeply. Why does this happen? Why does this happen? And why does a place that's supposed to be a place of healing, why does it become a place of hurt, and how do we address it? That's what we're going to be looking at at our passage in Colossians this morning. Colossians chapter 3. So let's stand for the reading of God's word. We are we are in Colossians chapter 3, starting with verse 1. Colossians 3, verse 1. If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not on things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. When Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. Put to death, therefore, what is earthly in you sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these, the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked, when you were living in them, but now you must put them all away anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices, and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its Creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave, free, but Christ is all and in all. Put on, then, as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, with compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one another, and if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony, and let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. This is the word of God. You may be seated. When you talk about this idea of church hurt, people getting hurt in the church, I really just want to say at the front end, when people get hurt in the church, it's not because the teachings of Christ are being applied faithfully. It's because the teachings of Christ are not being applied. In fact, when people get hurt in the church, it's not because of Christ's commands, it's not because of Christ's example, it's not because of Christ's way of life, it's because we are importing the ways of the world into the church. It's because we are importing the ways of the old man or the old woman, the old man or the old woman who is supposed to be crucified with Christ, we're importing the ways of that person into the church. And when we do that, when we import the ways of the world into the church, people get hurt. And that's really our main idea for this morning. When we put on the ways of the world, people get hurt. So, our only hope is to put on Christ. When we put on the ways of the world, people get hurt. So our only hope is to put on Christ. God gave us this passage so that we can have maturity and so that we can have assurance of who God is and how he calls us to live in light of the redemption he offers. Because when we don't know who God is and we don't know how he calls us to live in light of the redemption he offers, or when we forget these things, we are most vulnerable to importing the ways of the world into this place. And when we do that, people get hurt. It's my prayer that by the power of the Holy Spirit this morning you will be stirred to do your part, to fight the ways of the world. We're not called to be an importing organization. We're not called to import the ways of the world. We're called to be an exporting people, exporting Christ into the community, putting on Christ and exporting him into the world. And all of us have to do our part in that endeavor. All of us have to do our part to know the gospel that we profess and to live it out authentically in this place. Paul wrote Colossians because he had concern for this church that he's getting a report of. This church in Colossae, they had placed their faith in Jesus, they were bearing fruit, but they were straying. And why was this church in Colossae straying? Well, they were straying because some influential guy had entered the church and he was importing the ways of the world into the church. The surrounding culture at the time of Colossae was very obsessed with the spiritual world, very obsessed with the spiritual world. I mean, they were obsessed with being protected from dark spirits, and they would do all these rituals and all these legalistic activities to try to protect themselves from dark spirits. They would also try to appease spirits by doing things like worshiping angels, by doing things like mutilating the body, actually hurting oneself to try to prove their devotion to spirits so that they can manipulate spirits around them to get protection and provision. And obviously, these things are not a part of the gospel because we serve the King of Kings and the Lord of Lords. What are we doing seeking spirits? Church in Colossians. But influenced by the culture, this false teacher was he was promoting a fear of the spiritual realm. He was making believers doubt that the work of Christ alone was sufficient. And he was mocking a religion that was not like the culture. He was mocking a religion that didn't, that didn't worship angels. He was mocking a religion that didn't follow legalistic rules, and he was mocking a religion that didn't mutilate one's body. You gotta do your part, you gotta do all that you can to try to earn your protection and your provision. And this is why Paul writes, because ultimately Colossians is a letter about being steadfast in the gospel and not shifting into the ways of the culture. Not shifting into a man-made religion, but staying steadfast in the gospel of Christ. Paul acknowledges that the way of the culture may have the appearance of wisdom. The ways of the culture may have plausible arguments that seem convincing, but in the end, he says they need to be rejected because the culture's ideas have no power to save, the culture's ideas have no power to stop the evil desires of the flesh, and they have no power to produce Christ-like love. And friends, when these things are missing, when Christ at the center of our devotion is missing, the people will get hurt. And our modern culture today, we we may not wrestle with things like worshiping angels, you know, unless you're Jehovah's Witness, because they they most certainly do worship angels. Uh and we we may not wrestle with trying to mutilate one's body here in the West to try to earn devotion to spirits, but you certainly see that in other parts of the world. But we still have to ask ourselves what are the ways of the culture that we are always trying to import into the church? Because our culture is most certainly all about the self, it's all about personal power, it's all about personal influence, it's all about money, it's all about pleasure. And friends, when when we take these ideas of the culture and we bring them into this place, people get hurt. And I cannot emphasize this enough. This is not simply a church leadership issue, this is a church body issue. All of us have to do our part to make sure that we are fighting not to import the ways of the world, but instead we are putting on Christ and exporting him to the world. So this morning we're asking, how do we each do our part to make the church a place of healing? How do we each do our part to make the church a place of healing? And our passage answers, number one, if you're taking notes, you have to set your mind on Christ. You have to set your mind on Christ. Look at verse one. If then you have been raised with Christ, seek the things that are above, where Christ is, seated at the right hand of God. Set your minds on things that are above, not things that are on earth. For you have died, and your life is hidden with Christ in God. And when Christ, who is your life, appears, then you also will appear with him in glory. If there's one thing you need to know about the book of Colossians, the the major theme of the Book of Colossians throughout all the book is this it's the supremacy of Christ. It's the supremacy of Christ. And this is so important for Paul to emphasize because false teachers were influencing believers to take their eyes off Christ and to live in accordance with the world. And friends, when we do that, bad decisions are made and people get hurt. Were the Colossians afraid? Yes. They were absolutely afraid. They were afraid of spiritual forces, they were afraid of not having protection and provision. So they were doing things the way the culture said to do things. And our are demonic forces and not having protection and not having provision, are those real concerns? Yes, they are. But Paul says, what in the world are you doing trying to solve those problems by looking to the ways of the world? What are you doing being worried about demonic forces and spirits? You serve the chief ruler of the cosmos, the Lord Jesus Christ. What are we doing? Turning to the ways of the world to solve our problems. It's no accident that Colossians 1 is one of the most Christ-exalting passages in all of the New Testament because that's what the Colossians needed to hear. Don't look at the world. Look at the supreme ruler of the cosmos, the ruler of your salvation, the ruler of all of history, the ruler of the universe, the Lord Jesus Christ. Listen to what Paul declares about Jesus in Colossians chapter 1. He says in verse 15 that Jesus is the image of the invisible God. He says in verse 16, by Jesus all things were created in heaven and on earth. He says in verse 17 that Jesus is before all things, and in him all things hold together. He says in verse 18 that Jesus is the head of the body, the church. Colossians is about the supremacy of Christ. Do not look to the culture, do not look to the world for your way of living. Look to Christ. And this is one thing that I wish that everybody would understand. This is one thing I wish that everyone would understand. The head of the church is not fallen people. I repeat, the head of the church is not fallen people. The head of the church is Christ. He is the reason we gather here. He is the reason that we come together to worship. And if we gather for any other reason but him, we are at great, great risk of doing harm to one another. This is why we have to be very careful about why we are about church. This is why we have to be very careful about what we promote about the church. Because, friends, if the church is all about our awesome events and our awesome programming and our awesome speakers and our awesome fried chicken, we're setting people up for disappointment. We are. Because there will come a time when people come because we're fallen and we're not gonna bat a thousand every time. Our events are not gonna be perfect. Our speaking is gonna be subpar. Our programs are gonna be less than ideal. Now, granted, our fried chicken will always be perfect. That is a fact because Kyle actually does, Chef Kyle actually does bat a thousand with fried chicken. But friends, if we're making the church about these things, we're setting up people for disappointment. What we're actually doing is we're saying that the appeal of the church, the allure of the church uh rests on us and our performance. Friends, that's not where you want to put the allure of the church because we're gonna fail as fallen people. We have to put the allure of the church, the attraction of the church, where it belongs, on the head of the church. The Lord Jesus Christ. If we make it about us, we're gonna fail people. But if we make it about Christ, Christ will never fail. This is what I wish every person who has ever exited the church because of human failure would understand. Fallen people are not your savior. Christ is your savior. According to our passage, Christ is our all-in-all. It is by Christ that the old man dies. It is by Christ that we are crucified with our flesh and its sinful desires. It is by Christ that we are raised to new life and given new desires. It is by Christ that we are hidden with God. I love that in our passage. What does it mean to be hidden with God in Christ? It means that we are squarely and securely protected. That no one can assail us, that nothing can pluck us out of the Father's hand. We're safe. We have infinite and eternal safety in Christ. We are secure in God. It is by Christ that we will appear with Him in glory. This is so important to grasp. Christ is the head of the church, and the second we stop making the church about Christ, we are actually living a decapitated Christian life. Now, I'm no biologist, but I know it's not good to be decapitated, okay? Christ is our head. Christ is the very reason the body functions, the head guides, the head leads, the head informs. Without our head, we are living a decapitated Christian life with our arms flailing, our legs running around aimlessly, and it's no wonder in that state people get hurt. Friends, Christ is not the author of sin in the church. We are. We are. Every single hurt in the body of Christ can be traced back to someone seeking a worldly desire in a place that is supposed to be about heaven. In a place that is supposed to be about Christ, our head. Christ is not to blame for church failures. I mean, how can he be? I mean, how can he be? Fundamentally, what is Jesus Christ about? What is he about? He is about love. He is about love. The two commands, the two greatest commandments that he gives us are you shall love the Lord your God with all your heart, soul, mind, and strength, and you shall love your neighbor as yourself. That's what Christ calls us to do. So when we're not doing that, that's the reason people get hurt. It's not Christ's teachings that hurt people, it's us and our sin importing the ways of the world into this place. Now I do want to say, yes, there is a component of Christ's teachings that bring pain, right? Just like a surgeon's scalpel hurts. But that hurt and calling out our sin and exposing our sin and calling us to repentance, that's a hurt of love. That's a hurt orientated towards life-giving and healing. That's the way that Christ's teachings wound us in the sense of, yeah, it it hurts to be called out on your sin and your shortcomings. But friends, it's so good for you. It's so good for you because in the end, Christ's ways are aimed at life. As he calls us to put those things to death and find life in him. So to the person who has thrown away the church altogether because of someone else's sin, I say, that person who has wronged you is not who Christianity is built on. That is not who Christianity is built on. Christianity is built on Christ, and Christ is good. And for proof of that, if you need proof that Christ is good, just look at the person of Christ in the gospels. Look at his teachings, look at his example, look at his life, look at his compassion, look at his sacrifice, and then ask yourself: has there ever been a more loving man than this? The answer is no. Because God is love, and Christ is God in the flesh, the supreme picture of love. When we put on the ways of the world, people get hurt. Our only hope is to put on Christ. So we must set our minds on Christ. Next, number two, we must put to death the flesh. We must put to death the flesh. If there was ever a comprehensive list of things that bring hurt in the church, Colossians 3 is it. Listen to the worldly behaviors that threaten life in the church each and every day. Verse 5 of Colossians chapter 3. Put to death, therefore, what is earthly in you sexual immorality, impurity, passion, evil desire, and covetousness, which is idolatry. On account of these, the wrath of God is coming. In these you too once walked. This is the call of Scripture. Put these things away. These were descriptive of your old life. They're not descriptive of our new life in Christ. In these you too once walked when you were living in them. But now you must put them all away. Anger, wrath, malice, slander, and obscene talk from your mouth. Do not lie to one another, seeing that you have put off the old self with its practices, and have put on the new self, which is being renewed in knowledge after the image of its creator. Here there is not Greek and Jew, circumcised and uncircumcised, barbarian, Scythian, slave-free, but Christ is all and in all. It doesn't matter what your background is. When you are in Christ, you are made a new creation. So we are called to put the old man, we are called to put the old woman to death. And I love this passage because Paul just says it straight away. What is the source of wickedness in the church? I mean, you want to know? What is the source of wickedness in the church? The source of all wickedness in the church is sinful desires that are not being put to death. That's the source of all church hurt in a nutshell. It is sinful and wicked desires that are not being put to death. Why is there sexual immorality in the church? Because someone is not putting to death their lustful desires. Why is there slander and anger and betrayal in the church? Because someone is not putting to death their desires for pride and selfishness. Why is there fraud in the church? Because someone is not putting to death their greedy desires. Friends, we're called to put these things to death. These things are the source of all of our pain and all of our misery in the body of Christ. And we're called to put them to death. Now, why don't we? Why don't we put them to death? Well, there are really two major reasons we don't put these evil desires to death. One is that we may not be born again. Right? You have to be born again to have the power of the Holy Spirit to be able to put these desires to death. You can't do it without the Holy Spirit. You just cannot. You need Him. You need Christ. You need His power to enable you to put these things to death. And this is why it's so important for us to be very careful about who we bring into church membership, who we bring into roles of service and leadership in the church. What are we looking for when we put people in those positions? Well, we are looking for somebody who has a knowledge of the gospel, who is living out the gospel authentically in their life, and that they are bearing the fruit of the gospel, Christian love. Now, sadly, because we are not God, because we are finite and fallen ourselves, we are not gonna get it right 100% of the time. We're just not. Because unfortunately, some people, one, they're very good pretenders, aren't they? Some people are very good pretenders, and they fool even the most discerning of us. Also, we just we're not God. We can't read the heart. We cannot read the human heart. So we're not gonna get it right 100% of the time. But what we can do, church body, is we can keep our heads looking inwardly, looking at our own sinful desires and regularly bringing those things before the Lord, putting those things to death. And when we see sinful desires in the people around us, we deal with it quickly and seriously. We call them to repentance. We call them to put those things to death. We deal with sin quickly. Our passage says sin is no small deal. Sin is a big deal, and it's really a big deal because ultimately, on account of these, the scriptures say the wrath of God is coming. The wrath of God is coming. These sinful desires are what merit us deserving the wrath of God. That's why we have to turn to Christ, who takes that wrath for us. That's why we have to turn to Christ, who calls us to crucify our flesh and its desires, and who was crucified for us so that we can be raised to new life, because he was raised to new life, so that we can live a way that puts sin to death. Now, the second reason someone may not be putting to death the flesh, it might be because they're a genuine believer, but they're living disobediently. Playing with sin, because they don't think it's a big deal. And to this I say, dear believer, Christ did not die a bloody death on the cross for your sin that put him there so that you can keep playing with it. Christ did not die a bloody death on the cross for your sin that put him there so that you can keep playing with it. Christ does not call us to be indifferent towards our sin. Christ does not call us to embrace it. Christ does not call us to justify it. He commands us to put it to death. Put it to death. Jesus was crucified so that you and your flesh would be crucified with him. Jesus was raised to new life so that you would be raised to new life, so that you would have the power of the Holy Spirit, and by the power of the Holy Spirit, you would put sinful desires to death daily. That's what we're called to do. That's what we're called to do. And this isn't just for the sake of your personal Christ-likeness. Friend, this is for the sake of the body. This is for the sake of this being a place of healing. Just recently I was out and about with a friend and and we were running an errand. He needed to get a new car battery installed, and so we were talking with the person installing the car battery, and uh he was telling us that he was working on some new uh fictional comic book style thing. And we thought, oh, how interesting. What are you what are you writing about? And he said, I'm writing on the relationship between God and queerness. And you know, me being me. I went, oh really? Please tell me more. And uh so we get into it. We have this really good conversation, but it was a sad conversation because ultimately he was reading the scriptures and he sees Christ's call to put sin to death, and he says, No, that's that's not that's not my God. And so he concludes that the scriptures must not be reliable because the scriptures most certainly say to put sin to death and to be born again. And so he turns away from the scriptures and he basically invents a God of his own making. A God who doesn't call him to crucify his desires, but a God who calls him to celebrate his desires. And friends, if you are worshiping a God who calls you to celebrate your sinful desires, that is not the God of the Bible. That is not the God of the Bible. The call of Christ is to put sin to death and to be born again by turning from sin and turning to Him. And I need to emphasize that the call to put our sinful desires to death, it doesn't call out, it doesn't single out one particular sin. It really applies to all sins. This applies to all of us who are born with sinful desires, which is everybody in this room. All of us are born with desires that are not right. All of us. All of us are born with desires that we want so bad, but they're not right. That's why Jesus says, you have to be born again. You have to be born again. We may think that our desires are good because they're so strong. Because of how bad we want them. We may think I can't be happy unless I fulfill these desires. But Christ says to trust him. He says, trust him. These desires don't define you. Instead, he says, I'll define you. Deny yourself. This is the call of the gospel to everyone, by the way. Deny yourself, pick up your cross and follow me. And Jesus says, with my power, will put those desires to death, and I will make you a new person with new desires. That's the gospel. That's the gospel. That you're remade to have life-giving desires for the first time because you have been born again. The reality is because of our fallenness, all of us bring hurt into the church. I've done it, you've done it, and the next failure is always around the corner, right? Because we're fallen. We all bring hurt into the church. But the scriptures tell us that we have a supernatural power that helps us repent of those sins, to seek change in Christ. And for those of us who are not born again, to be born again. I also love that the scriptures give us an accurate expectation for church life. The scriptures actually tell us not to be taken aback by fallenness in the church. In fact, the scriptures tell us expect it. Expect it. Because we live in a fallen world and Satan hates the church. So expect fallness in the church. Don't excuse it. We have to take bad apples seriously. And when someone is abusing authority to take advantage of other people, we have to take that very seriously. And the general rule of thumb is either they get out or we do. We have to take bad apples very, very seriously. And every day, this is our battle. We have to battle for the health of the body. We have to battle by looking to Christ and putting our flesh to death. And this requires all of us doing our part. All of us who profess Christ must make sure we are living this reality, looking to Christ and putting our flesh to death, growing in the knowledge of Christ. Colossians puts a big premium on growing in the knowledge of Christ because you cannot know what sin to put to death unless you know what sin is. And how do we know what sin is? We look to the perfect one, the perfect, righteous one who shows us the standard. How do we grow in Christ-likeness? We look to Christ. That's why we have to be in his word, growing in the grace and knowledge of him. If we're not growing in his image by growing in the knowledge of who he is, we are not growing, and people will get hurt. When we put on the ways of the world, people get hurt. Our only hope is to put on Christ. So we must set our minds on Christ. We must put to death the flesh. And lastly, number three, we must put on Christ's love. We must put on Christ's love. I love Colossians 3 because it not only tells us what to put to death to make this place a place of healing, it tells us what to put on. Verse 12 says, put on then as God's chosen ones, holy and beloved, compassionate hearts, kindness, humility, meekness, and patience, bearing with one with one another. And if one has had a if one has a complaint against another, forgiving each other, as the Lord has forgiven you, so you also must forgive. And above all these, put on love, which binds everything together in perfect harmony. And let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts, to which indeed you were called in one body, and be thankful. Let the word of Christ dwell in you richly, teaching and admonishing one another in all wisdom, singing psalms and hymns and spiritual songs with thankfulness in your hearts to God. And whatever you do, in word or deed, do everything in the name of the Lord Jesus, giving thanks to God the Father through him. Now notice what Paul doesn't say. He doesn't say if you put on Christ that people will never get hurt. When we go to meet Christ or when He comes to meet us. That's the reality. We're still fallen. But look at what God does say in His Word about who we are. I love this: that we are God's chosen ones. That we are holy and beloved. And even though we still sin, we are beloved by God. He delights in bearing with us in our brokenness to complete what he started in us. And it's from that place of being holy and beloved by God that we are then called to endure and to bear with one another in love. Now, bearing with one another implies there are things to bear with. There just are. The church is a family, and like any family, there are things you bear with. But what is the call of Scripture? We're to respond in love when there are complaints against one another, when there are wrongdoings against one another. We're called to endure, we're called to forgive, we're called to let the word of Christ dwell in us richly so that we can teach and admonish and instruct one another towards Christ-likeness, to look to Christ, to put to death the sinful desires of the flesh, and to put on the love of Christ. Now, there are a lot of Christ-like virtues mentioned in Colossians 3 that we're called to put on, and I wish I could do a deep dive on every single one of them, but I cannot. So I want to put the emphasis where the Apostle Paul puts the emphasis in Colossians 3, because there's an unexpected virtue that he repeats in this passage. I mean, it's not the one that I expected. I mean, when you think about peace, I mean you think about grace, you know, you think these would be virtues that we're that we're called to put on more than any other. But this passage really emphasizes one virtue that I think is worth noting, and that's the call to thankfulness. That's the call to thankfulness. I mean, look at this repetition to thankfulness in Colossians 3. In verse 15, it says, Let the peace of Christ rule in your hearts and be thankful. Verse 16 says, with thankfulness in your hearts to God. Verse 17 says, giving thanks to God the Father through him. I mean, thankfulness is a major theme all throughout Colossians. In fact, if you read through this whole letter, and you should, it's a wonderful book. 10 out of 10. Okay? God's word through and through. Wonderful. When you read through it, you'll actually see this repeated call to thankfulness. And I've wondered why thankfulness, this was something I was wrestling with in my study this week. Why would thankfulness be so emphasized? And here's the answer: it dawned on me that when we are not thankful for the Supreme Christ, for the head of the church, for what he has done for us, for what he has called us to do, to put our sins to death, to be born again, to live in him, and to be able to live in the power of love by the power of the Holy Spirit, when we're not thankful, when we're not letting that marinate in our hearts with gratitude, we become discontented people. We become unsatisfied people. And you know who the most dangerous person in the church is? It's an unsatisfied person. It's the person who's not dwelling with thankfulness in their hearts to God. Because when you're unsatisfied and you're not beaming with overwhelming thankfulness to what Christ has done for you, you are discontented and you are looking for satisfaction in places that will never get it. And that's when we start importing the destructive ways of the world into the church. So how can we fight importing ways of the world into the church? We can be thankful. We can look to Christ, we can thank him that he gives us the power to put sin to death, to be born again, and that he gives us the power to live and love. And we need to be thankful to that. For those who have been hurt by the church, I want to say that the power of Christ is not seen in a church in which people never fail. People are gonna fail. But I want to tell you, this is where the power of Christ is seen in a church. When people do fail, and we will, because we're still fallen, that that failure, that sin is responded to with confession, with forgiveness, with reconciliation, and with change in the power of the Holy Spirit. This is where the power of Christ is seen in the church. Christ-like love displayed in forgiveness and change and repentance and confession and humility. That is where the power of Christ is displayed in the church, because friends, you will not find that in the world. You cannot find that supernatural love anywhere but in Christ. When we put on the ways of the world, people get hurt. Our only hope is to put on Christ. Church, for the sake of this being a place of healing, all of us must live the authentic Christian life. We cannot just be telling people that Christianity is all about grace, that it's all about forgiveness, and then when people come into the church, we are legalistic, bitter people. We can't be doing that, friends. We can't be doing that. It reminds me of something that happens to me every once in a while when I go to Dairy Queen. My precious Dairy Queen. There will be times when I go and I hear this very, very pleasant, friendly female voice. Hi, welcome to Dairy Queen. Will you be using the app today? And then I go, No, thank you. And then that pleasant female voice just goes away, and I just hear the static, angry voice of a man saying, What do you want? I'm like, whoa! Where did the nice lady go? Like, I don't know, I'm so taken aback. I still don't know what is going on there. I don't know if that's like a pre-recorded greeting, and then the real person comes on. I don't know if if Dairy Queen is trolling me, uh, or I don't know if that's my punishment for not using the app, you know? Um but it's very, it's very it's very unpleasant, to say the least. And friends, that's what we do in the church. When we say, oh, the church is all about grace, it's all about love, it's all about reconciliation and pursuing one another and forgiving one another, and then when people come into the church, we're indifferent towards sin, we hate each other, we're fighting, we're creating factions, we're we're saying, the church is about me, it's not about you, it's about me and my boundaries and my way of doing life, and it's just me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me, me. Friends, that is not the church. That is not the authentic Christian life. And so we have to make sure that we're doing our part to live the authentic Christian life. We need to ask ourselves: are we doing our part to set our minds on Christ? Are we doing our part to put to death the flesh? Are we doing our part to put on the love of Christ? We have to do this together, friends. We have to. This is all of our role as professing believers. And for those of you who have written off the church or who are on the brink of writing off the church, you need to ask yourself have I placed my hope on where Scripture calls me to place my hope? Because Scripture doesn't call me to place my hope on fallen people. Scripture calls me to place my hope on Christ. Don't throw away Christianity because people didn't live up to the teachings of Christ. No, friends, if if Christianity were about fallen people, we wouldn't call it Christianity now, would we? We would call it churchianity. If Christianity was about fallen people, we would not be Christians, would we? We would be churchians. But we're not churchians. We're not. We're Christians. Because the head of the church is not fallen people, the head of the church is Christ. You must put your hope on Christ alone. Why? Because Christ will never fail you. Because Christ is the only place where you'll find safety, or Christ is the only one where you'll find forgiveness for all your sins. And only in Christ are you empowered to live a supernatural life of love. So to those who have exited the church, I say this: find a church that takes seriously the call to look to Jesus, as he's revealed in Scripture, to put sin to death and to put on the love of Christ. That's the kind of church we want to be, by the grace of God. But it's going to take all of us being the real deal and pursuing that goal together. When we put on the ways of the world, people get hurt. Our only hope is to put on Christ. Let's pray. Father, we thank you for the hope that we have in the gospel, Lord, that though we are fallen and though we live in a culture that teaches ways that hurt us, Father, and call us to ways of life in which we hurt one another. That, Father, you actually give us a new way of life by your Son. That by your Son we can be forgiven of all of our sinful desires, that on account of these the wrath of you is coming, Lord. And God, we thank you that you call us to run into a place of refuge, a place of safety, to find security away from the wrath of God because you have given us your Son, who has taken that wrath for us. God, we thank you that you give us a supernatural way of life in the church. That you give us Christ to look to. And your word promises that when we look to Christ, when we grow in the knowledge of Him, that Father, by your Spirit, that we actually are made more like Him. God, I pray for our church. God, I pray that we would be a place of love, that we would be a place of healing, that we would be a place where we seek peace when there is restlessness, when we seek healing where there is brokenness, where we seek forgiveness and love, Lord, where there was once hate and hostility. And Father, we know that these things are possible for us because you have delivered us from the hostility of sin by the blood of the Son. So, Father, we pray that we would live this life, this supernatural Christian life, not by our strength, but by the power of the Holy Spirit. So in the name of Jesus we pray. Amen.