You Don’t Get to Quit if You Want to Experience Possibility

Quitting. It's tempting to do when life gets overwhelming. But, how can we experience what's possible if we choose to give up? In today's episode, I reflect on my first month of grad school, learning a second language, and the value of modifying Newton's first law of motion for using failure to drive life forward.

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Transcript

How’s it everyone, my name is Mike Cabuco, and welcome to another episode of the Love Notes for Life podcast, your creative space for amplifying greatness through gratitude.

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So, long time no talk huh? Yea it’s been pretty busy. Hectic to say the least. If you didn’t get a chance to listen to my last podcast episode, about a month ago, I think, yea, well I started grad school for my master’s in kinesiology and on top of that I’m still working a full-time job and I’m still committed to learning Spanish. So, if it isn’t obvious, those three items have become my priorities and it feels like every week is groundhog day.

Eat, sleep, work, learn, train, and maybe sometimes play? I don’t know I guess If I’m lucky?

But I don’t know. I guess, what I’m getting at is that sometimes, it all starts to feel a bit overwhelming. And I’m trying to be optimistic, you know, about the whole situation, but really, it’s not like anyone forced me to do any of those things. But, here I am, now, kind of questioning it all.

Did I really make the right the choice?

You know it’s strange you know. I mean, the process of how we make decisions. I really started to think about that a lot. Like, I think I’ve mentioned it. Like the whole: inspiration leads to motivation which leads to intentional action. But, I think I really left out an important note of that whole equation. What actually happens when we start to act on our intentions. I mean what actually happens afterwards?

Before grad school, my life was fairly straightforward. I worked a 40 hour week for my engineering job. With my free time, I would usually spend it working on Love Notes for Life. And, of course, I would keep up with my fitness and training. And just have enough time to pursue my hobbies and support my interests.

But, the minute I started grad school it seemed like everything changed. I would spend my lunch hours at work doing homework and after work, I would repeat the process and find myself studying and trying to play catch-up. I mean, compared to my classmates, I was a bit of the odd duck. I was an engineer that wanted to play in the world of science and sports. And my only background in kinesiology was anecdotal and an occasional YouTube video on strength training and physiology. It’s fair to say, that if I wanted to keep up with the class, I’d have to work harder than my peers.

And then it hit. Did I just make a big mistake?

I barely started school and I was already showing signs of doubt. Every week got harder and just when I thought I was starting to get the hang of it all, I found myself slipping and failing to grasp the concepts. I knew the solution was to put more time and energy into it, but the more I gave in, and the more I gave myself to it, I started inviting those feelings of failure, doubt, and I began teasing the idea of quitting. As much as I prepared myself for this circumstance, I really didn’t 100% know what I was getting myself into. And frankly, I just wanted to quit and just go back to the time where all I had to worry about was showing up for work, taking of my fitness, and just enjoying a life without stress. But it just didn’t work out that. Deep down inside, what I was yearning for was stress. I didn’t like the idea of not doing anything and maybe it was impatient behavior, but I wanted to reach out and my fill my life with experiences.

So, I kind of knew where I was heading towards, but the answer to all my questions was still a bit fuzzy at best. It was still unclear and the more and more I thought about it, the more I kept entertaining the idea of just letting go of my goals and resorting back to a life of no worries.

I mean, it seemed like quitting wasn’t a bad option at all. It’s not like I technically needed to get this master’s degree to survive. I already had a job and I already achieved my salary goals. I was pretty much content with my work. I had a great work environment. And the job was challenging enough just to keep me entertained without overly stressing me out. So, if I quit grad school, well whatever, it wasn’t like I was risking my entire financial situation.

In fact, quitting would actually improve my financial situation rather than hurt it. All that expected tuition and book cost would go out the door and I’d be able to take that money and spend it on other fun things in life.

 And then there was the time factor. If I quit now, I’d be able to reclaim my time and do other things in life like spend more time working on Love Notes for Life or even spend more time on doing fun stuff like watching sports, reading books, or even trying to catch up on my Marvel and Star Wars shows.

So, it seemed like quitting was the best option. It just sounded like a win-win situation. However, if I did just drop out and quit, I think I’d be missing out on one of the biggest life lessons that I could ever learn.

You are free to fail, but you don’t get to quit if you want to experience possibility.

Possibility is a strong experience. It is one of the defining characteristics of why you’re still alive. Possibility is very similar to chance or opportunities, but what makes possibility unique and arguably maybe even better than opportunity is that possibility defines a moment that is possible to happen now or in the future. Opportunity on the other hand implies statistics and is based on probability. So, possibility really roots itself in reality and it demands that you don’t quit, but rather it forces you to keep moving forward.

You are free to fail, but you don’t get to quit if you want to experience possibility.

So, a little side story. As you all know, I’ve been learning Spanish on the side and I started my studies up again right when grad school started. And I’ve been utilizing the LearnCraft Spanish Podcast hosted by Timothy Moser, and there was this one episode where Timothy noted an important point. To paraphrase he asked, “What situations in your life will benefit from learning Spanish?” On the surface it seemed like a no-brainer question, but then I tried to answer it question and to be honest, I kind of didn’t know what to say. I mean sure, I wanted to learn Spanish to survive my trip to Spain next year, but was that it? And the more I thought about it the more I realized, I wanted to learn Spanish for the same reason I wanted to go back to grad school.

And that was to experience possibility.

Knowledge isn’t just about memorizing concepts or learning a new party trick that you could impress your friends with. At the end of the day, it’s all about experiencing possibility. I mean imagine this. What if, what if there was someone out there who was the perfect match for you, but you never got the chance to cross paths with each other because you gave up too quickly. Wouldn’t that be an unfortunate situation? I mean, at this point of my life I tend to lean towards realistic expectations, but I also acknowledge that if you don’t do anything then you won’t experience anything. I mean hold on let me say that again. If you don’t do anything then you won’t experience anything. It’s basically Newton’s first law of motion. An object that stays at rest remains at rest and that’s the same thing with your life. A life at rest stays at rest unless you move it forward. So unless you act, and it doesn’t have to be some epic type of momentum. All you really need is just a little push to get moving forward.

And when it comes to failure. I get it. It sucks. It really really really sucks. And I can’t count the number of times that I’ve failed. And you would think after failing so much, the experience of failure would be easier the next time around. However, that’s just not the case. It doesn’t get easy. The discomfort still lingers, and it begs you to quit. Failure wants you to quit because it doesn’t want to see you move forward. It wants you to take the easy way out. It wants you to settle and just give up. But what failure doesn’t know is that failure can be used as the force to push you forward. A life at rest stays at rest unless you learn to use failure to keep moving forward.

You are free to fail, but you don’t get to quit if you want to experience possibility. 

So, even though quitting is tempting, I think today, you know what, and I think you all agree, I’ve decided that I’m just going to keep on moving forward. And I don’t have all the answers. I’m not really sure what to expect in the future. And, everything that I’m doing now could potentially just be a waste of time. Who knows. But what I do know is that if I quit now, I’ll never get the chance to experience what could have been or what should’ve been. And ultimately, I would lose out on the learning experience that when the going gets tough, all that means is that you’re heading towards possibility.

I think this past month taught me a lot about myself. It taught me that you don’t have to have it all figured out. That you’re free to try things to see if it works or doesn’t. And, for whatever reason, if you give it your best shot, and the outcome isn’t what you expected, it just means that your journey is not over. What it means is that you’re still on your way to your destination. Not your neighbors. Not your friends. And not your peers. Your journey is yours alone and the only way you’ll see it through is if you keep moving forward.

So, when it feels like you want to quit and give it all up. Remember to say this to yourself: 

I am free fail, but I’m not going to quit because I want to experience possibility. 

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Thanks, y’all for tuning in to another episode of the Love Notes for Life podcast. I look forward to continuing this conversation of awareness and amplifying greatness through gratitude. If you’re enjoying the Love Notes for Life podcast, please subscribe and leave a 5-star rating on Spotify, Apple, and other major podcast platforms. The Love Notes for Life apparel and book is now available at lovenotesforlife.com. For the latest updates be sure to track the mindset by following me @mikecabuco on Instagram or Twitter.

Thanks y’all for the support and always remember, “There is beauty in knowing that there is only one of you.” Take care.