Taking Risks Through Faith, Raising Expectations With Hope, and Making Progress

Ah yes. New Year's resolutions. I love them, but they can bring about disappointment if they're overly ambitious. So, how about this. For this New Year, I'm settling for less and having low expectations. I mean, life would be straightforward, safe, and highly predictable. Of course, I'm just kidding. But is safety better than getting hurt from taking risks? In today's episode, I discuss the downsides of low expectations and how we can lean on faith, hope, and action to direct our lives toward a positive outcome.

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Transcript

How’s it everyone, my name is Mike Cabuco, and welcome to another episode of the Love Notes for Life podcast, your creative space for amplifying greatness through gratitude.

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Howzit everyone and welcome again to 2024! And you know what? I think I like this year’s number better than last year’s. I mean, 2023 kind of sounded weird. Like when you said it out loud, it just didn’t roll off the tongue that well. And don’t get me wrong. 2023 was pretty sick. I mean, I’m super stoked that I got to do more personal travel like visit Australia and New Zealand and I managed to hit some personal weight training goals, but I’m definitely ready to close the chapter of 2023 and start 2024 with a bang.

So anyways! I hope you all had a great new year and holiday break for those of you who took it. And I for one took the opportunity to catch up on personal projects such as finally installing these roof lights that I had on my 4Runner, which were pretty much non-op for the last one year and half I guess? But better late than ever. And aside from tinkering with my truck, I also brushed up on my cooking skills learned how to make manapua! Oh yes, the beloved manapua which is pretty much like siopao for my Filipino friends and for the rest of the world, it’s more commonly known as steamed buns or bao. And this one special kind because it had the heart of any standard manapua, which is slow cooked char siu, or Cantonese style barbecue pork. And it has a sweet note and when it’s sealed in the sweet manapua dough, it’s (mmm) chef’s kiss straight up umami!

And I tell you what. With all this holiday cooking, I think if I ever get tired designing stuff for planes, I can guarantee you, I could definitely see myself running one food truck and bringing the spirit of the manapua man to life here on the mainland. I mean it! I seriously mean it. But I definitely found a lot enjoyment in cooking and of course doing anything creative with my hands and if this was on video, I mean you’d see me talk with my hands a lot. Like this. See I said like this but you can’t see so it doesn’t matter. Anyways, it’a just a thing I do.

But anyways, here we are in 2024 and you know what that means? New year. New me. Nah nah nah nah. Just kidding. Anyways, a question to y’all the audience. So, anyone into new year’s resolutions? I kind like doing them and I’ll share mine soon, but before we get to that, here’s some interesting metrics. So according to Forbes Health and One Poll, the top 5 resolutions for 2024 here in the United States was improving fitness, finances, mental health, losing weight, and improving diet. Now, I have to admit all of those items are quite valid for the new year’s and it'd be irresponsible of me not to promote healthy mindset since I do run one podcast about doing good in life right? Yea, no brainer. However, this year, I think I’m change it up a bit. For this new year, my new year’s resolution is quite simple albeit straightforward. Have low expectations. I mean really really really really really really really low expectations.

So this year you know what let’s throw it all off to the side. This year, I’m not shooting for the stars. I’m not shooting for the moon or even falling for the “new year, new me” campaign. No, I think this year, I’m going to take it way easy and who knows, maybe even hit the pause button on personal growth, and just let life be. As my favorite pessimistic friends would say, “Well son, It is what it is.”

Alright, since trying to be “nicer” is actually really one of my new year’s resolutions, I do sincerely apologize for the sarcasm, but no really, have you ever thought, hmm, you know what? I think I’m tired of all this rat race. Or, I really don’t see how society in general with all the negativity in the world will ever get better. Or here’s my favorite one. I did my best, but I guess my best wasn’t good enough. Cause here we are back where we were before.

I had to try that out.

So really, why try again?

And it’s tough. Life is tough. And I’m speaking for myself, but you might relate. Like, you might have all these expectations and, in the end, well, what actually happens doesn’t really go according to plan. And then, sometimes, even I start questioning my own personal faith in life, liberty, and the pursuit of happiness. You know? Okay, alright, maybe I’m overacting a tad bit, but you have to admit, having high standards or even great expectations leaves you in a position that feels like you’re just living in a Charles dickens’ novel.

For example. We just got through one of the busiest holiday seasons and it seems like every December, people are just getting more and more and more agitated and less patient these days. It seemed like every day leading up to Christmas, I would encounter some crazy driver that treated the road like some exhibition course. And if you live near Seattle, you know exactly what I’m talking about. 

Everyone from Washington thinks people in California drive crazy, which is partly true don’t get me wrong, but I have to say, people here kind of drive like we’re in a Call of Duty game. Like, I mean, it isn’t uncommon to see people make illegal u-turns before even making it to an intersection. And some people just love using their horn as a form of communication to say, “get out of my way!” And here’s the best one. I’ve seen tons of cars driving around here with expired registration tags, duct taped windows, and cars running without bumpers and working headlights. Yea, you might be thinking I’m just exaggerating, but feel free to visit lovely Seattle and prove me wrong.

Anyways, for me, sometimes it gets very easy and very tempting to focus on the negativity and sometimes when you’re hit with so many roadblocks and bad experiences, sometimes it’s easy to just throw up the white flag and just say, “hey, maybe enough is enough. Maybe, things will just not get better. Or maybe, if I have lower expectations, then when life hits me in the face with lemons, meh, no worries, I didn’t think I was going to dodge that one in the first place anyways!

So, what do you think? Do you think my new year’s resolution is somewhat reasonable? I mean, it seems like an easy way to avoid the inevitable. But I tell you what. This, my friends, is the primary dilemma of the so-called overachiever or as I like to call them, myself included, the real life Disney character.

Now, I’m a big Disney fan. I grew up watching Disney movies and I’m sure my parents still have all my Disney VHS collections. You know, the ones in those pristine white boxes? You remember that? You know exactly what I mean if you ever had them. And I loved how they provided a sense of escape through its beautiful animation and music. But one thing for sure is that most, if not all, Disney characters share one common motive. They’re all modeled after the hero or heroine in strife looking for greatness just beyond the riverbend. And, you know exactly when these characters announce their commitment for change to free themselves from personal angst and reach out towards a better life while bursting out in a huge musical number. Like, for example, Quasimodo singing Out There in Hunchback of Notre Dame. Or the Little Mermaid herself, Ariel, singing Part of Your World. And then we have Hercules singing my life’s anthem which is I can Go the Distance. And you know what my favorite part of that song is the last two lines of the refrain which goes like this:

I know every mile would be worth my while

When I go the distance, I'll be right where I belong

And whenever I hear those words, I can’t help but tear up first and then second get motivated, and I truly feel like I could accomplish anything if I just put my mind to it. And that’s beautiful thing about Disney movies. They really teach you dream. Like seriously dream without any sort of constraints. And they can make the harsh realities of life fade away and off to the side and allow you to focus, focus directly on your dream, whatever that may be.

And sure, there’s an occasional evil villain waiting around the corner like Hades or Ursula or even Scar from the Lion King. I mean they all represent that nuisance that gets in your way and blocks you from achieving your goals. They’re like that neighborhood kid that constantly acts like a butthead and finds ways to humor himself by playing tricks on you. And no matter what, no matter what how hard you work or how much effort you put into your goals, somehow and someway, that bully finds a way to mess up your day and make your life feel completely miserable.

Well, my friends, that’s essentially reality, not quite the Disney reality that we wish we could have, but our true reality. The world and environment that we live in is what is. And even if we’re blessed to have a great start in the beginning and start our lives in a caring family surrounded by plenty of love and support, the end, our remaining time on Earth can be easily taken away by ill health, accidents, or even being in the wrong place at the wrong time.

And I knew someone personally, a close friend of mine, that fell prey to the inequalities of life as we know it.

So about five years ago, I worked with this really great coworker who eventually became one of my really close work friends. His job was to maintain these devices that would purify the wastewater from one our photo processing machines, and he really just had a simple life. He loved to farm. He loved to fish. And most importantly, he loved to give back to the community by helping out veterans and those in need. And he also was very smart with his money. He had played the financial game correctly and had a nice investment and retirement portfolio. I mean, he had more money than what he knew what he was going to do with it. So, he was prepared to put in his papers and finally take in the gift of retirement. He was at the age, and he definitely earned it. So, we celebrated, gave him a great send off, and from time to time we would hear from him saying, “Life is good.”

Then, about a month after he retired, my company gets notified that he was involved in a farming accident. He had a heart attack and with that he fell off his tractor. He was only 67 years old man. Like, it’s so crazy that he only got a chance to taste retirement for a mere one month. 30 days. And after chatting with him before he retired, he seemed like he had so much life left to live.

But that’s life you know? It ain’t quite like a Disney movie unfortunately. But here I was, hearing the news firsthand, and it got me thinking.

How does one deal with the thought or the fear of working so hard on reaching towards one’s goals only to experience unexpected loss in the form of sudden tragedy or heartbreak.

I mean, here I was in my early twenties, starting to think about the what ifs, and not the what ifs in a positive way, but those scary what ifs. Like what if, during the pursuit of trying to achieve a better life, what if something bad happens along the way. Or what if, after spending so many years trying to pursue a goal, it eventually backfires and you’re left with nothing, but a feeling that you’ve wasted time and energy on a hopeless cause. And what if, after many years from now, could you really look back at your life and say that I think I did alright, and it was a pretty good life?

It's a tough question, you know? But one thing that I learned from that experience was that no matter what, whether win or lose, I really believe that it goes back to faith, hope, and learning to adjust one’s expectations. And you don’t have to be overly religious to understand what faith is, but faith is complete trust or confidence in something you believe in or in someone you believe in. It could be your ideal future or the people that you love or the people that you depend on or look up to. Faith is trusting that person that you deeply and sincerely care about or trusting the decisions that will help you get closer to a better life. Faith is knowing that even though tomorrow is not promised, you will still act accordingly and respect the routine and discipline that allows you to get from point A to point B.

And hope. Now hope is tricky. Because in some ways it sounds like faith, but it works in conjunction with faith. Now with hope, it is more rooted in a feeling of expectation and a longing for a certain thing to happen. And in many ways, we know exactly what it means when we were kids. Like, when December rolled around, we hoped that there would be presents under the Christmas tree. Or whenever we did something good at school, we hoped that our teacher would reward us with some stickers or a chance to get something from the reward basket. And in the event, we got ourselves into a pickle or found ourselves hurt or in danger, we hoped that the people we cared about were just around the corner ready to help pick us up or tend to our needs.

And hope is having complete faith in ourselves, and in our purpose and in our belief system that no matter what, we keep moving forward because that’s the right thing to do. We keep moving forward because wherever we are in life is where we are meant to be. And while it’s easy to quit, to stop loving, and to discard your dreams, we hope not out of foolishness, but because we believe that through hope, we can strengthen our faith in the person we believe that we can be.

And lastly, the idea of expectations. We know that high expectations often lead to many opportunities for disappointment. And low expectations prevent any chance for personal growth. But right in the middle, we can modify our expectations or adjustments to allow ourselves to grow at the right pace. Sure, we can let our crazy uncle throw us in the water at the deep end, but you can also learn how to swim in the kiddie pool. But when you start to get better and you start to improve, it’s essential to take those initial expectations and raise the bar, not too high, but just right where it needs be. And you keep raising the bar, you keep raising expectations until you feel at peace, and you’ve completed the goals that you set your mind to. And that’s the beauty of hope. It gives you the freedom to be an optimistic once and while and allows you to see that the outside world isn’t always bad and when you can experience it, in a gradual manner, you too can enjoy the little joys of life along the way.

Hope, faith, and learning to adjust one’s expectations. Now my friends, I think that’s a much better new year’s resolution than having low expectations. So, I hope you enter the new year with a fresh mindset and know that whatever you’re going through, hope that your faith will get you closer to achieving your goals and expectations. Hope that your faith will get you closer to a life that you could learn to appreciate. And hope that your faith can bring many little opportunities of personal growth and getting you closer to the people you love.

And years from now when you look back at your life, I hope you can proudly say that I did alright, and it was a pretty good life.

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Thanks everyone for tuning in to another episode of the Love Notes for Life podcast. I appreciate the support and as always, feel free to connect by following me @mikecabuco on Instagram or Twitter. I hope these love notes of personal growth make an impact in your life and if you have love notes, I encourage you all to share them and reach out to those in need. It could be a simple love note of saying hello to that quiet person you always run into. Or a simple love notes of slowing down and taking in the little joys of life. We all have only one life to live so live the life that you want to live.

And always remember, “There is beauty in knowing that there is only one of you.”

Take care.