How To Handle Overwhelm

Episode 32: How to Handle Overwhelm

Overwhelm is one of men's biggest challenges, especially fathers who have children in the home.

In this season of life, there is a lot pulling at you. Kids, family, demanding careers, possible health challenges, financial pressures, and just trying to get it all done. 

Do you sometimes feel stuck in this life cycle with no way to get out, and the busyness and overwhelm will never stop?

In this episode, I share with you four ways I am minimizing my feelings of being overwhelmed in my life for 2024.

I would love to connect with you on Facebook. Feel free to join my group, Thriving Fatherhood, where I offer more on how to thrive in fatherhood.

If you feel like you are just surviving and want to return to thriving in your fatherhood journey, let's talk. You can schedule a call with me here. https://GoFromJustSurvivingToThriving.as.me/

Transcript

Welcome to the Thriving Fatherhood Podcast, where we are living and working in the trenches to go from surviving to thriving in this mission field called fatherhood. 

My name is Brian Knight. I am a father of three, a husband, a son, a coach, and a believer in Jesus Christ.

Overwhelm, this has been one of the words on my mind for much of 2023 and then just coming out of the holidays some how I thought it would get better. Nope, that is not the case. The business of life keeps moving forward at a fast pace.  

Having a new baby in 2024

I do believe this has a lot to do with what kind of person you are. Are you content with your life or are there areas you want to excel more.

I do want to acknowledge that this season is hard. Having kids at home, demands from your work, fighting off the effects of aging, starting a business on the side, a lot of things pulling at your wallet which may make overtime enticing or a leadership position for the increased pay. 

Think about what is really important, family, time with the kids, date nights, trips away with just you and the wife, discipleship of your wife and kids, taking care of your parents, intimate time with God, spending time with friends, and meaningful work that does not zap the life out of you.  

I have had so many fathers tell me to enjoy this season because it goes by fast. This almost makes me cry when I think about it and I do not want to have any regrets when looking back on this season ten or twenty years from now. 

As I pondered this season of overwhelm at times, what are some ways that I am minimizing this feeling in my life. 

Saying No to some things, so I can say Yes to others. Can you put it off, but come back to it later. What commitments are you making (ministry, sports). Does it need to be done right now (projects around the house.) Because we are in a better financial position I can afford to pay someone to do certain things on my vehicles instead of me spending most of a Saturday doing something I have never done on my vehicle and hopefully fixing it to where it does not need to be addressed again. 

Are you working 40 hours a week. This is a tough one. I have found that getting my work done in 40 hours I am pushed to be productive as possible because I do not want to stay over my time at work. 

Writing a values statement – I have recently read a book called the 12 week year and it has challenged me to write out my values statement and read it every day. Why is a values statement so important, because this explains who you are and what you stand for. When you are choosing to do something new, does it align with your values statement. If not, then you might want to think twice about why you are doing it. Your values determines your motivation behind something and whether it is worth the energy for you to achieve the goal. 

I will read mine for you guys.  

This is not something that you need to get right the first time. It is something that you will craft and fine tune over the rest of your life. You want it short and easy to understand, but if it starts out long that is fine. Mine is long right now, but I will fine tune it over time. 

Keeping a calendar – I know there are a lot of men who do not follow a calendar including me for most of my life and only started following one recently. I will just tell you that taking a high level overview of the day and what my goals are has been a game changer for reducing overwhelm and getting it all done. I will just say it gives my day organization, urgency with time restrictions, and I can decide what I do that day ahead of time. 

My simple formula is write down your to do list. Prioritize your task. I like the urgent and important model. Explain this. This helps you to know when to schedule something on your calendar. Take your to do list and put it all on your calendar. That is right schedule it and then you do not have to think about it anymore because you have already made the decision on the date and time when you are going to do it. You will need to know about how long it will take you to do so you can schedule that in. 

Review your calendar for the week and briefly before each day. Because if your life is anything like mine, stuff comes up and wants your attention right now that you did not plan or know about. 

Make sure you know what your one to three goals are for the next 12 weeks and work towards those everyday be reviewing your calendar and vision statement. 

Take care of yourself – if you do not take time to move your body, sleep adequately, eat the right kind of foods, fill up your tank with family time and something where you take time out for you then you will burn out eventually. As a father there is a lot on your shoulders and you need to stay healthy because others are depending on you. You are not invincible and you do not want to find what your limitations are. So, do things that fill your tank.  “It is better to pour into others from a full cup than an empty cup.”

Also, make sure you do something that helps you to get present instead of constantly being in the past or thinking about the future. Mindfulness work

So, that is what I have for you today; if you feel this show has been valuable for you, I encourage you to share it with one other father who could gain some insight from it and wants more thriving in their lives. 

Also, I would love to hear what your thoughts are on overwhelm. What have you learned about yourself from your experience and what have you done to minimize overwhelm in your life? Please share that with me on Facebook.