Unexpected Medical Diagnosis

Episode 37: Unexpected Medical Diagnosis

In today's episode, I will be discussing how to approach an unexpected medical diagnosis.

I recently had some medical issues come up, and it was challenging to be humble enough to let my strength go and look to God for answers. As a father with much on your plate, how do you let go and let God? 

How do you look for the good in any situation, such as an unexpected medical diagnosis? That is what we will be discussing on today's episode. 
 
I would love to connect with you on Facebook. Feel free to join the group, Thriving Fatherhood, where I offer more on how to thrive in fatherhood.

If you feel like you are just surviving and want to return to thriving in your fatherhood journey, let's talk. You can schedule a call with me here. https://GoFromJustSurvivingToThriving.as.m 

Transcript

Welcome to the Thriving Fatherhood Podcast, where we are living and working in the trenches to go from surviving to thriving in this mission field called fatherhood. 

My name is Brian Knight. I am a father of four, a husband, a son, and a believer in Jesus.

How are you guys doing out there. Today, I want to talk with you about what do you do when you get an unexpected medical diagnosis. Something a lot of us do not expect or maybe even think about much, but it can and does happen to some of us.

Back in August of this year I started noticing some things that felt different with my GI and urinary system. They were very vague, but being a nurse I am probably more aware and anxious about changes in my body than most men my age. Also, I was born with some abnormalities that require me to evacuate my colon manually with an enema every three days.  Long story short I have been doing this for the past twenty years with very little problems and a high quality of life.  Some things started to change for me and I was not sure what was going on. 

I decided to go and see my family doc and see what he had to say. Long story short he had me go for a CT scan of my abdomen and Pelvis. I decided to go see a colo rectal surgeon at MUSC.  All this occurred over about a month time frame and there was a lot of waiting and worry during this time. So much so I was not able to sleep consistently and it started to wear on me soon after. 

The colorectal surgeon had a copy of my CT and it showed I had a mass in my pelvis. He really was not sure what it was, so he referred me to a urologist and had me get an MRI. This took another week or two. I remember being in the MRI which I did not enjoy and I said to myself “What am I doing here!” “Why is this happening to me at this time in my life?”  When I went to see the Urologist, he had my MRI results. He did not say much that dissipated my worries at that time.  He wanted to review my MRI with the tumor board and have me meet with him a week later.  That week I also met with the GI surgeon who gave me some good info.  The urologist also called me that evening on my way home from the seeing the GI surgeon.  

During this time, I had all kinds of ideas on what was going on with me and thinking of worse case scenarios and how my children would grow up without their father. It got a little dark for a while there. We have not been at our current church for long and I did not have a strong support network around me for prayer and encouragement. 

It was not until I went to the Urologist for the second time that I knew I was going to be alright. Turns out this mass in my pelvis is not looking like cancer and it is very possibly a seminal vesicle cyst. This is much more common among people born with renal abnormalities, like myself with only one kidney. I have been functioning fine(so called fine) for the past 46 years. Basically, my seminal vesicle gland is much bigger than it should be and therefore is blocked and needs to be removed. This is a gland involved in producing fluid and nutrients for ejaculation.  All I can say is it is awesome that God has blessed me with four beautiful children already. 

This gland with its increased size is pushing on my rectum, my bladder and making me excrete some mucous with urination. Honestly, my symptoms are pretty vague. I thought about living with it, but do not know if it will get bigger or cause and infection or problems down the road. It appears they can safely remove it with laparoscopic surgery.  

At first I was not a fan of this, I felt something might go wrong and then I would be messed up down there. I have since changed my tune to focusing on the outcome being positive instead of expecting problems to arise.  Yes, there is a chance something could happen, but there is a very good chance that in a few weeks after surgery I will be pretty much back to normal without having to worry about recurrence of this vesicle. 

There is still a ways to go. My surgery is scheduled for November 12th. So prayers for that. 

I did have thoughts in my head about why is this happening to me. I am a very health conscious person and have had thoughts like “I do not deserve this.” If I had not been born with the abnormalities then I would not be having this surgery.  What I have had to do is focus on the positives. Really, the reason for he CT scan is because I asked for it. So, we may never know if I had not asked. 

I am very thankful for a number of reasons. I have my wife and mother who are very supportive and whatever happens, they will be there to support me. I have a ton of books I would like to read, so while I am recovering and can not lift anything I can catch up on some reading for a change.  I am well established in my job and have a lot of sick leave and still have FMLA left over from the birth of my fourth child. So, I am covered from a work stand point. I am also thankful for the community we have at our church. I am thankful that my symptoms are vague and not affecting my quality of life while I am waiting for the surgery. I am thankful for this experience so I can be more compassionate for those I who I interact with who are going through something similar themselves. 

I believe the big take home here is God wants me to turn to him in my times of need, not continue to rely on my own strength. I think this experience is humbling me and testing my reliability on Him. My mom had some great advice.  She said when times are tough, ask yourself “What does God want me to learn from this.”  When I think about this it immediately puts me at ease and drives those worst case scenarios away. 

If you get a medical diagnosis that comes out of no where, it can be difficult not to focus on worst case scenarios.  All I can say is do what you can to live a healthy life where you are at now. In other words, do the best you can with what you have. That way no matter what happens you will know you have done the best you know how.  Get support around you, especially other Godly men. Do your own research, don’t just do what the doctors want you to do necessarily. I have been in the medical profession long enough that you need to do your own research and work with the doctor to come up with a treatment plan that everyone agrees upon. Get prayer from the people around you and at your church. Maybe even get some counseling from a Christian organization. I recommend the Sea Coast counseling center in the Charleston area. 

I will keep you guys updated on how I am doing over then next two months. On a side note, I will be getting hernia surgery after this at some point. I did ask them if I could do it at the same time and they said no due to one procedure being dirtier than the other. You do not want to up your chances for infection. 

I would not say I am looking forward to the surgery, but I am looking forward to coming out the other side better than I was before. I truly believe that will be the outcome versus what I thought before. 

So, that is what I have for you today; if you feel this show has been valuable for you, I encourage you to share it with one other father who could gain some insight from it and wants more thriving in their lives. 

Also, I would love to hear what your thoughts are on being a leader by example. What does that look like in your own life? Where have you struggled. What has helped you?  I would love to hear your answers. Please share that with me on Facebook.