EP 20 Fear And Failure Are Your Friends

Whether you’re starting over, chasing a goal, building a business, or simply trying to move forward in life, this conversation will help you see fear and failure from a completely different perspective….

Because sometimes the flip side of fear is freedom, finding a healthy love, answered prayers and growth

Transcript

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What's up, my beautiful soul tribe, and welcome back to the permission activated podcast. And I am your host, Coach Tai, here to empower you, inspire you, and remind you that you don't need anybody's permission but your own because God has already called you to go forth. So stop waiting and start taking the steps. Move in the action. Take the leap of faith because there's no time but the present. That's why it's called the gift. Let's jump into this word today. You are inside of 10 days of tie nuggets. And today's title is going to be Fear and Failure Are Your Besties. I'ma say that again. Fear and failure are your besties. They are your homies. They are your comrades. So we're going to break the illusion and the misconception of fear and failure being a bad thing. Let's jump into this word. So listen, let me tell you something about fear. Fear is going to show you exactly where you need to go and exactly what you need to do. Let me explain. So whatever it is that you are fearful of, that is exactly the direction that you're supposed to go in. And that's how you're gonna know that's where you're supposed to go because you're going to be fearful of it. What does the enemy of your soul, the enemy of your mind, which is sometimes you, cast? He casts smoking mirrors, illusions, and false evidence appearing real, which is fear. Whatever the enemy is trying to stop you from, that's the direction that you're supposed to be going in. That is what you're supposed to be doing. So I want you to start looking at fear as the indicator, as the bullseye point, as the mark as to where you are supposed to be going, where God is leading you and what he is calling you to do. Think about it. If the enemy wants to stop you from doing something, what is he going to do? He's going to cast the illusion of the exact opposite. Fear is the opposite of light, of revelation. Who's been clouded today by the spirit of fear? Who's been going in the wrong direction in a different direction, been repelled from their purpose because of the spirit of fear? Oh, I'm afraid of what they're gonna think. I'm afraid of what they're going to say. Come on now, I'm afraid of it not working out. You should be more afraid of regret. You should be more afraid of the wasted time that you can't get back. You should be more afraid of waking up at 90 years old with regrets, with shoulda, woulda, could have. That's what you should be more fearful of because that is way more weightier than actually taking the shot, making the call, sending the email, taking the chance. Baby, let me tell you something. I'm gonna do it. And if it doesn't work out, I will turn around and go in a different direction. But I do not want to live with a life of regrets. I do not want to wonder what it shoulda could have. So, baby, this is your confirmation. Take the leap of faith, open the door, knock on the door, send the email, make the phone call, ask the girl out, say yes to the guy, whatever it is you've been contemplating on, baby. Go on, go on and take that step. Okay, so that's what fear is. Fear is going to be a direct indicator in the direction that you should go. Now, number two, let's talk about failure because this is another illusion. People are afraid of failing. I listened to a podcast recently that I absolutely love, and he brought up Sarah Blakely. Now, Sarah Blakely is the creator and founder of Spanx. Okay, all the ladies out there are familiar with Spanx, but it reminded me of an interview that I listened to of hers years ago, and it was this very interview that she did that actually shifted and changed my perspective on the idea of failure. So, what she was saying in the interview was she was saying when she was younger, when she was a child, her father would sit her and her brother down every week and ask them what did they fail at for the week. And if they didn't fail at anything, he would be upset with them because he taught them that if you're not failing at anything, you're not trying. So you should be failing at at least one thing a week. If you're failing for it, then that means you're trying something new. And that literally was a paradigm shift for my mindset. And I'm praying right now that it will be a paradigm shift for you as well in this moment. If you're not failing at anything, it's because you're not trying anything new. So, what that should do for you is anytime you're trying something new, anytime you're failing at something, you gotta pat yourself on the back and you gotta celebrate yourself. You're failing at it because you've never done it before, because it's something totally and completely new. And so you have got to celebrate that instead of frustrating and irritated. Are we still human? Yes. Are you gonna still get frustrated and aggravated a little bit when you're going through the process of learning something, trying something new? Absolutely. But I need you to first understand and tap into the fact that you're trying something new that you've never done before. So of course you're gonna fail because you have to learn how to do it. Think about a baby. How many times does a baby fall when they're trying to walk from crawling? First, they struggle with crawling, then once they get to crawling down, then they struggle with standing up on their feet, wobbling, trying to keep their balance, and then once they learn how to keep their balance, then they gotta learn how to put one foot in front of the other and then actually walk and then run. So, some of you guys, yes, you're learning your balance in this new field or your new career or this new relationship or this new level of your emotional and mental healing and growth. And you may be a little wobbly, but I need you to give yourself a little bit more grace and mercy, okay? Because it's a process, everything is a process. Loving yourself is a process, loving another person is a process, taking a leap of faith is a process, trusting God is a process, changing careers is a process, leaving your job and stepping out on faith to start a business. Is a process, baby. Everything is a process. You go from crawling to learning your balance to walking to running. So remember that you want to fail forward, that is a good thing. So you should be failing at at least one thing a week because that means that you're trying something new. Just go do something new and celebrate when you fail because that is an indicator that you are growing and you know that you're growing because you're trying something new. So I want to give you guys five powerful points. So let's go ahead and jump into these five key points. This is some good stuff. Save this episode and download it so you can go back to these nuggets and listen to it all over again. Okay, number one, fear is gonna show you where the door is. This is what I was talking about earlier. Whatever you're fearful of doing, that is actually a door and an opportunity for you to move to the next level. And let me just sit on this for a second. What you gotta understand is when God calls you to write a book, start a podcast, start speaking, start teaching, step into whatever it is he's calling you to do, start the business, start writing, whatever it is, it is a doorway. It's not even about the thing that he's calling you to do because it is going to be the thing that propels you into the next blessing, into the breakthrough, into the very thing that you are praying for. So you got to understand that these things that God is calling you to do, they're actual dimensions and doors that He's trying to get you to walk through. And what some of you have to understand that are still single is that your spouse, your divine counterpart, your husband or your wife is waiting on the other side of your obedience of what God is calling you to do. You're praying for certain things, and God is saying, Okay, I need you to write this book, or I need you to go to this conference, or I need you to go to this store on Monday at five o'clock, or I need you to start the business, or I need you to leave this job, or I need you to relocate. Whatever it is God is calling you to do, baby, this is confirmation for somebody or a few people. If I only reach one person, that's all that matters. But you gotta understand that when God tells you to do something, it is not about that actual thing, it is an actual doorway, dimension, and portal to what you are praying for. Because whatever it is you're praying for, the route is not gonna look like what you think is gonna look like. So, back to number one fear is gonna show you where the door is. See, and here's the thing most people think that fear means stop, go the other way, abort mission. No, baby. It usually means that fear is standing right in front of the exact life, the exact blessing, the exact breakthrough that you are asking and praying and believing for. Because you got to understand new levels feel unsafe before they feel normal. If you're doing something you've never done, of course it's gonna feel uncomfortable. This is why I tell you guys all the time give yourself permission to give yourself grace and mercy because it's a process, it's not gonna happen overnight. You gotta put some stuff in the oven and let it bake instead of throwing it in the microwave because fear is often going to be the proof that you're stretching beyond your current identity. Now, how many people know that have gone from glory to glory, mountain to mountain, face to face, you know it's very uncomfortable. So, fear is often going to be the proof that you are stretching beyond the boundaries of your current reality, your identity, and the dimension that you're in. Number two, failure kills the illusion and reveals the truth. It is going to expose weak systems, fake confidence, bad habits, wrong timing, wrong people, and unhealed patterns. Baby, who am I talking to? It's going to be painful sometimes, it's going to be uncomfortable sometimes, but yes, it's very necessary because failure is going to refine you faster than comfort ever will, baby. Period point blank. Number three, fear forces growth through movement. Some of you guys are depressed and sad because you're not moving, you're spiritually and emotionally paralyzed. So fear is going to force growth through movement. Courage is not the absence of fear, guys. Courage is moving forward while your hands shake anyway, while your legs shake anyway, while your voice shakes anyway. And every time you act despite the fear, your nervous system learns oh, I can survive expansion. I can survive this too. Oh, there's life after death. Yeah, the beginning is after death. Because after every death in your life, every death to old timeline, old cycle, old relationship, old friendship, old dynamic, old connection, baby, is life. It is revitalization, it is resurrection. Okay, it is the cycle of life. Death, rebirth, and resurrection. Let's go. Okay, number four. Failure is going to build emotional stamina, baby. People who never fail usually become very, very fragile. They get offended easily. They quit easily. They turn back easily. One setback completely destroys them. But people who've been humbled, rebuilt, and cried and adapted and kept going, baby, they're dangerous. Don't mess with them. Because they already know it don't matter what you throw in my way, there's always gonna be a light at the end of the tunnel. So they stop fearing the fall because they've learned that they can rise again. But what does that come from? Building your spiritual muscles of faith, saying yes over and over to God and life and situations and circumstances, because you know that there is a pot of gold at the end of the rainbow, that there is a light at the end of the tunnel, that God is faithful, that his promises are yes and amen. That he said, I will not leave you nor forsake you, but I will be with you until the end of time. He's always walking with you, he's always with you. If he gave you a word, baby, it's gonna come to pass, but you gotta stay in alignment, you gotta stay in position, and you have to stay on the road and keep moving forward. Number five, fear and failure both destroy perfectionism. Let's talk about it for a second, okay? Perfectionism is going to keep you frozen. Fear and failure force you into action, reality, repetition, and evolution. And eventually you realize the people winning are not the people who never failed, they're the people who failed publicly and kept moving anyway because they got delivered from people pleasing, from people's opinions. They understand the power of fear and failure, and they use it to their advantage as fuel. So let me tell you something. That is the plot twist. I need you to understand that that's the plot twist. Fear and failure are actually your friends and not your enemies. Everything is about perspective, guys. The glass is either half full, half empty, or it's full with room for more. I'm gonna say that again. Your glass of life is either half empty, half full, or full with room for more. It's all about perspective. You know, a lot of people think that fear equals the enemy, failure equals proof to quit, proof to stop, proof to turn around. No, baby, the plot twist is actually your friend, your bestie, your homie, because it is going to direct you and redirect you in the way that you need to go. This is why the people that evolve the furthest and the fastest, they usually have the messiest stories. Because guess what? They just threw crap against the wall a lot more times than you did to see what was gonna stick, what was gonna work, what was gonna turn into a rainbow. That's it. They just did it more times than you. So I want you to give yourself permission to get over and get delivered from the fear of looking foolish, the fear of starting over, the fear of judgment, the fear of failing publicly, and the fear of success, the power of success changing your relationships. Because everybody is not going to be happy for you when you begin to win. And you gotta be okay with that because everybody is not going to stay and be in alignment as you begin to progress, elevate, and move forward. So give yourself permission to move forward anyway, to try anyway, to take the leap of faith anyway, to make the call or the email anyway, to say yes to the person anyway. Some of you guys bake your whole entire life on people's opinions that don't even like themselves. Most people don't even like or love themselves, yet you're weighing your entire life on what they think and what they say. Baby, that's a specific word for somebody. I'm praying right now that you get healed and delivered. And the boat, the revelation just hits you in the innermost part of your soul. So many people waste their life force in their life and they stay married and in these relationships for 10, 20, 30, 40, 50 years only to get divorced, only to realize that this wasn't the right person. It was never the right person, but they stayed out of convenience, out of not having to answer to other people or deal with other people's opinions. You better go within and talk to the most high, seek counsel from the kingdom of heaven, which is inside of you. So if you don't get anything else out of this conversation, I need you to walk directly through whatever it is you've been avoiding. You walk right up to whatever you've been avoiding, and you say, I'm not afraid of you anymore. I'm gonna move forward in the name of the Lord, in the name of the most high God. God is on my side, and with God before me, nothing or no one can be against me. I need somebody to just get the word in the spirit on today. Get the word in your spirit. No weapon formed against you shall prosper. He that is in you is greater than he that is in the world. With God before me, no one or nothing can be against me. God has gone before you and made the cricket places straight. I need you to start talking to yourself like this all day, every day. Get in that mirror in the morning, in the afternoon, in the evening. When you go to the bathroom, you washing your hands, you better encourage your spirit in the mirror while you're washing your hands. So, listen, guys, thank you so much for hanging out with me. I so appreciate and love you. Please share this message with a friend or family member that you know needs to be encouraged, empowered, or just reminded of their inner power. Give yourself permission to be free, to be happy, to move on, to release, to let go, to move, to relocate, to start the business, to start being more creative, to honor yourself, to value yourself, to protect your inner child. Give yourself permission to do all of these things because you are the only one who can give yourself permission to do that. And when you give yourself permission, you're either giving yourself permission to say yes or no, or you're giving yourself permission to stay or leave. So, whatever it is, give yourself permission to do whatever is going to bring you into alignment of purpose, peace, love, joy, and happiness in all of your heart's desires. If this resonated with you, please join the tribe by following and connect with the vibe. And I will see you guys in the next episode. Blessings and love.