Raising joyful children in an angry world, a podcast dedicated to faithful parents navigating their families through a stormy culture.
This is Raising Joyful Children in an Angry World. I'm your host, Paul Osborne. After seeing another video of a child terrified of Santa in the family group text, I wanted to share a humorous and possibly embarrassing Christmas story I call The Santa Fundamentalist, discussed with my youngest daughter, Michelle, earlier this year. You are a current believer or have believers in your car, this is a spoiler alert. You do not want to listen to this episode. Now, if you're a committed Santa evangelist skip this episode. The Santa Claus Fundamentalist. Okay,. So, as you know, all of you, went to a Christian academy and there were, pretty much a conservative Christian, value points. And then in our. Christmas is a really big deal. Huge. Yeah. I mean, absolutely huge. So we're starting off sometime after Thanksgiving. We're gonna go out into, sort of the rural part of the Pittsburgh area. We're gonna cut down a Christmas tree. We're gonna completely redecorate the house. it's your mom's favorite holiday, so the dishes are gonna be Christmas dishes. The glasses that we drink out of are going to be, decorated. Everything in the house is gonna be rede. Yeah. And, and yet at the same time, it's all done because of a, very strongly held belief that this is the greatest story ever told, that this is God's gift to humanity that God is not obligated to do, but he gives the gift of himself by the person of the son wrapping themself in humanity in order to redeem humanity. And without humanity being able to redeem itself, it's completely a gift of grace. But Santa Claus is like, Scrooge is like frosty the snowman. He is part of all of the celebration. So we're gonna watch Miracle on 41st Street or 43rd Street, or whatever it is, You know, and it's about, the spirit of giving. We're gonna watch Frosty, we're gonna watch the Christmas movies, but we're going to present all of this as. you know, fictional characters. Now we're not really sitting here talking about the, the word fiction necessarily to young children, but they're not presented in, a way that this is like a real thing. In fact, we would even say that, that Saint Nicholas is an ancient saint who was a great wealth, gave his money. Sold off a bunch of assets and then would give his money to poor children. And in particularly Christmas Eve, he would distribute gifts out to, to, you know, the poor children. And that's really where the story comes from. So this all fits in, and there's a part of Santa Claus that fits in into this, this giving of, of oneself. And then there are folks who. Kind of have a different view on this and the, the American Santa Clause. is very different, than kind of the story that you might see around the rest of the world. Kind of starts with Coca-Cola. I don't know if it's, you know, pre 1925 Coke or post 1925 Coke. That's a little inside Coca-Cola history. Well, but the red and white Santa Claus, that's their label. That's their logo. That's kind of, they, they took that figure. Well, I think we have to pause for one second and state. From an American traditional perspective, we need to say that our family did not participate in the Santa Claus concept. No, we, we said that Santa Claus was largely like, the, to celebrate the holiday. He was part of, various fictional characters that tell the story of Christmas. Right? We, but we're, we're not gonna leave the central part of Christmas, which is about Jesus Christ. To the Earth. Right. So we, just to fully describe this, we did not receive presents from Santa. We never thought that Santa came down our chimney, which we didn't have a fireplace anyways. We didn't believe that Santa Claus came to our house, went on the roof, put. We never put out cookies for Santa. Right. We just, our gifts were from our parents and we, that's what we believed we were. Right. So not believed. It was just the reality of it. right? It, it's, wow. Right. So, so when I tell this story, this is the Santa Claus fundamentalist story. there are, as you know, that kind of starts, I believe somewhere as a figure that Coca-Cola is using, promote its product. It's a red and white, uh, soda and red and white Santa Clause. It, it just was a, it was great. And so of course the rest of the American culture of it's literature, it's music, it's films, sort of takes this thing and runs with it. And it's all supposed to be, at least in my view, it's supposed to be a funny story or some teasing that maybe we do with children. Oh, you know, were you good? But I never want people to think or didn't want the kids to think that you get a gift because you're good. We, we get the gift of Christ despite the fact that we're not good. And so I don't want something to kind of contradict that, but we can play, we can have fun, we can enjoy the story of it. But then there are these families that are what I call Santa Claus fundamentalist. They take very seriously the cannons of Santa and they describe this, um, story of which Santa Claus is in the North Pole, and you write him a letter as to what gifts you. And then on Christmas Eve, Santa is going to come through the neighborhood. He's going to go down a chimney and he's going to put, uh, the presence into your house and your fill your stockings up and, you know, the, the, the game gets played where? You know, you, you take the cookies and they're half eaten or some of them are gone. The cocoa has drank. Uh, some parents will dress up as Santa Claus in case the kid wakes up and sees they want to see that there's the figure there. So this, it's, it's presented not in a fictional fun, frosty the snowman Rudolph the red nose, reindeer way. But like, no, this is a serious cannon. And I don't know, I think sometimes we get caught up in the fun of it as parents. But anyway. So there's the three of you. Your oldest, uh, sister is in the fifth grade, which makes her about 11 and a half or 11, and her friend is there, who's also in the fifth grade, who is 11 and a half going on 12. And who is in a family of Santa Fundamental? Now, one of the things that we always said when you went to school was, look, you know, this is how we see this. This is what we believe to be the, the way we should do it, but we don't have the right to spoil other people. Some people actually get caught up in this story and so, you know, just let them do what they want to do. You don't have the right to go around popping people's bubbles. But any rate, on this particular day, this gal doesn't have any sisters, has an older brother, comes to the. and it's around the holidays. And so of course our house is completely decorated and the three of you and this, uh, friend of your older sisters are playing upstairs and she sees that we don't have a chimney. And she says, oh my, how does Santa get into your house if you don't have a chim? Now, I'm not sure if this was, Hey, I'm starting to have some doubts. I mean, 11 and a half seems like pretty old to be still believing in Santa Claus. Well, we don't really have any context because we never did. So we didn't know how long the lie could go. Well, exactly. Ex, exactly. I don't know what that's like. She's having doubts and asking questions or this is like sincere curiosity. you know, are, we are, somehow, uh, unfortunate enough not to have a chimney and, and what is the, uh, alternative plan to make this thing work? And I tend to believe that it was the latter. And so, as it has been recalled through, your older sister, I believe it was you, Of course it was. You're three, you guys are 18 months apart. And so as the youngest, I mean, you're like, look, you're, you're like in fifth grade and I get to pop the bubble of a fifth grader that. Too much temptation. I mean, it's one thing to resist fellow third graders, uh, fellow second graders, but a fifth grader getting ready to go on to sixth grade, which kind of puts you in the big kid club. Well, I would've been in first grade if she, if Elena's in fifth grade. Oh, yeah. No, no. In grade, first grade. Oh, wow. That's even huge. That's, yeah, that makes sense. That makes the bubble even bigger. And the words come out, well, you, you do know Santa Claus isn't real. I mean, your parents bring you the. and all of a sudden I think the reality that whatever doubts there were come into to play and this gout just burst into tears and then runs into a bathroom, as seems to be the tendency of females, like when you're really upset and you want to get away, you run to the bathroom and locks herself in the. And of course we leave the mess to mom to clean up. Who has to Classic. Oh yeah. I'm not there. I think I'm at work. I think this is like a, of course you are not there. That would only make sense. Yeah. Well also, what would you have done? You knocking on the door? Yeah. Who would've made it worse? Oh, I would've made it terribly worse because I would never been able to. Be laughing loudly, which would've been worse. So a hundred percent. It was probably for the best. You weren't there, but also of course you weren't, and mom has to try to figure out how to console. Well, yes. No. So mom has to, no, mom has to call this girl's mother. This is, this becomes a mom alert and apologize for the fact that that one of you and I'm has told her daughter. The cannons of her, uh, Santa Claus belief system have been, have been burst, and the mom literally has to come to the house and pick her up and take her home. Yeah, I mean also, I mean, if as a parent now, A lot of parents have fun with doing Santa Claus and playing with this. I'm pretty sure this girl was the youngest daughter as well. So this is her last kid that probably believes in Santa Claus, right? So we're really not just ruining it for the child, we're also ruining it for the mom that she won't now get to do this again until she has grandchildren. We put a necessary ending onto it. It's, I find the irony, and I'll, I'll close this story with the irony is that one of the, uh, one of the criticisms or sort of mocking of Christianity always is like, oh, you fundamentalist, or you literalist, which we take the Bible lit as a, as a literature piece. Not literally, but at any rate, that's always sort of a. a rock that people like to throw and yet the, the Santa Fundamentalist. I mean, you, you must have a chimney, an order for Santa because you have violated the cannon, the, the reindeer landing on your roof. I don't know, just, just a strange story. Wouldn't have the whole, that whole concept wouldn't have even worked today in our woke society. You're not even allowed to give expensive. Well, I agree with this concept, but they're like, please don't have Santa bring really expensive gifts because then when they go to school, children that don't get expensive gifts wonder why Santa brought you an iPad and then socks. Oh my gosh. But that's a f I think that's if you're gonna perpetuate Santa, I think that makes sense. Continue. Sorry, you wrap up the story. How families handle Santa, Elf on the Shelf. It's a matter for parents to decide, and it should be fun in whatever we do. But kids should be participating in the true Christmas story as well. That's critical to our faith. Families that want to have joyful kids, it really comes down to in life, who we fear, love, and trust. Merry Christmas. The ultimate battle for the heart and soul is a fight for identity. Our king invites our kids to know who they are, what to believe, and where they belong. Until next time, let's remember the words for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.