Raising joyful children in an angry world, a podcast dedicated to faithful parents navigating their families through a stormy culture
Paul (2):The day comes when your son or your daughter is the one who started that fight at school. Got caught copying some answers off another student's test, or maybe they just deceived you in the home by blatantly disobeying your instructions. And you can't believe, how could your child do such a thing? You might react perhaps in anger or begin to determine the consequences. Yes, children need to learn that decisions have consequences. And so you come up with a measured consequence, as you should, as we discussed in Discipline for Behavior. But then what? This is Raising Joyful Children in an Angry World. I'm your host, Paul Osborne. I want to say that sound theology helps us understand how to deal with our kids when they sin, and they will sin. It is what we believe about God and the gospel that instructs us on what to do now in terms of restoring them in the faith. There are two things that I think parents must recognize from the creeds that are summaries of the scripture that is missing in a lot of postmodern Evangelical churches, the word is propitiation that I want to touch on and then the Holy Spirit that we'll conclude with before we go into the next part. But the first is that Christ is the propitiation for our sin, big word, but it is often being replaced in translations with expiation. Or atonement, and it can cause us to have a misguided discipline because we don't understand what's actually happened at the crucifixion. The creed tells us he was crucified, died and was buried. He descended into hell on the third day he rose again from the dead. We know and we believe what happened, but what does it mean to us, to our kids and to our family? J. I. Packard and every one of the reformational leaders explains what it means. And we'll confirm that in the scripture. So when the creed says Jesus was crucified died and was buried, descended into hell and rose again on the third day. If you believe merely that Jesus did this solely. So that your sins are forgiven, you're really missing the full gospel and the nature of God. J. I. Packard explains this in his book, Knowing God, that our sin puts us under God's wrath and punishment. Yes, we need forgiveness, but God's wrath also needs to be satisfied. And this big word, propitiation, it means to satisfy the wrath of God and be forgiven. Sins are covered and wrath is satisfied. That is what propitiation means. So first John says in chapter two, verse two, he is the propitiation for our sin Romans three 25. He is presented as our propitiation wrath. I think most of us understand through the forgiveness of sins, but wrath being satisfied means we are in God's favor. So when our child deceases, when they act on their own wisdom in place of God's wisdom, it is important that the sin that they did is taught to them that it's offensive to God. It harms the family, but that it's also displeasing to God. Because we did not trust what God told us. But unlike the unbelieving sinner, those outside the kingdom who are not in God's favor, not in the way we are, they may have common grace, but not in the way we are in the kingdom. But because we, because you trust Jesus for forgiveness of sins and the satisfaction of of God's wrath, the very thing that displeased him. You are not just forgiven. You are forgiven and you are in God's favor. And the way you understand this in my view is critical. If you're going to have an understanding of unconditional love, the observance of Monday, Thursday, good Friday, Easter Sunday, it really helps us grasp the incredible price. That Christ paid, but we don't want to make this like this current discussion around student loan forgiveness. Oh, you made a bad decision. Everybody does. You were young and dumb and it's okay. And so we're going to forgive the loan. We need our debt forgiven. But like someone that has in need of their loan forgiven, that doesn't put them back in a favorable spot with lenders. And like the borrower, we need the debt forgiven and we must have our standing in the favor of God. And that is what the death of Christ as well as the resurrection does for us. Go back all the way to the beginning. There's the tree of life. Trust God. There's the tree of knowledge of good and evil, in which humanity, through the lie of the devil, falls for it and wants to trust itself. Become your own God. Faith alone in God, trusting, is what Abraham did, right? We're going back to the early times. He trusted the promise of God that he would make him a father of many nations. And so when Abraham and Sarah trusted in themselves, the consequence came, Ishmael. But they were still in God's favor. God did not make a conditional covenant. He gave an unconditional love. He did not go back to calling Abraham Abram. He was still Abraham. Humanity, Adam and Eve, chose to trust itself and the root of all of our kids sinful acts starts and ends in this same thing of trusting themselves, wanting to be in charge, because they have inherited this from our parents in the garden. Trust the word of God or trust another word, not from God. And this bent comes out into our kids and into our lives in a hundred different ways through our sin nature. I want to say if you desire your family to truly live under the freedom of the gospel in peace and joy, a place where failures are restored, virtue is grasped. forgiveness is obtained. True Sabbath rest from this crazy world that you live in is going to be found. Grasping what actually happened on that cross and what it means for your family is crucial. We have to start that realizing that what God commands of us We fail. Therefore, we have to trust what God has done. Luther tells us, let the verbs of the Bible explain who God is by what he does and explains how our kids come to receive and trust what God has said. When you discount the penalty of sin and you only see it as sins being forgiven and you don't grasp the wrath of God being satisfied. And as I said, that means staying in or being in the favor of God. You will miss part of what has been done for us and what you believe then has become sort of a subtle way of connecting. yourself or your children to what you do. You miss part of the word of God, the favor of God, because you're not seeing that the wrath was satisfied. And that you were put back in his favor. The Ark of the Covenant was both an atonement for sin and the favor of God. When we miss this fuller meaning of the cross and the gospel, you tend to fall in one of two camps. Camp one, you believe that you've been given a mulligan. That's what we call a second shot in golf. to second chance. And now by your efforts, you must contribute to your salvation. Prove it. You must donate by your own merits and good works for the satisfaction of your sin debt to get back into favor with God. You will hope that in your contending for what is right, you're going to tip the scale of favor towards you. And if not, well, maybe some work of the church or someone else can help you out. You believe you can do something to gain God's favor. That's the old, I made a deal with God. And in this, you will never have real assurance. The second camp is, you believe that, Oh, now by my knowledge of forgiveness, I see the debt was paid. And then you slowly lean on your new found wisdom that you have chosen the tree of life. Your great decision making helped save you and you blend your trust in God and your own wisdom. You lean a bit on the tree of knowledge, of good and evil, that is the knowledge that it's up to you, and it's left so many people spending years wrestling with if you really meant it, truly decided. Or worst, you see it as, well, it was a one time decision. I signed up for it. I made the pledge. And you put it in a drawer until you die, because that's when you need it. This camp overemphasizes decision making and under emphasizes trusting the call of the Holy Spirit, the third part of the Creed. Both of these camps will leave you and your children in a bit of an anxious faith because our being made holy is starting to become on us rather than seeing it has all been done. By God, the creed and our Bible is telling us that when we get the full deal of what happened on that cross and confess then that we believe in the Holy Spirit, because we need our hearts opened, our eyes unblinded, our ears unplugged to actually hear the word of God, the call of God, that we trust the action of God and we see that our new redeemed eyes and our comprehensive value of God's gift of grace. And we just simply trust it. It's not some kind of choosing the right door, the right stock, the right career. It's simply trusting and receiving the promise that's delivered to you. Remember Daniel. About the dreams of the king, and he answers, no wise man, enchanter, or diviner can explain the mystery, but there is a God in heaven who reveals mysteries. Any faith That takes forgiveness and skips wrath has not seen the full mystery and it leaves us trying in some way to trust in some mix of grace and ourselves and allows part of what we are trusting in to be human wisdom. I know this is hard, but trying to lean on two trees at one time. It's more hard. It's more difficult. The Holy Trinity works together. The Father Almighty, we said, made us. Jesus, the only begotten, saved me. And the Holy Spirit gives the will and the power in trusting in what God has done for me, anything else is going to leave me in an anxious camp of partial reliance. You hear it all the time. Say something like, if my people who are called by my name will turn from their wicked ways too often, we start turning these verses in. If I do this, God will do that. We're back to deal making. John tells us that we have the right that those that receive this promise have the right to become the children of God and such we are. Peter tells us you are a royal priesthood. It's all because of what God has done and because what God has done God says who we are.. I trust what he has done and it defines me. Martin Luther in his catechism probably explains it very blatantly. He says regarding this issue of the Holy Spirit, I cannot by my own reason or strength believe in Jesus my Lord or come to him, but the Holy Spirit has called me by the gospel, enlightened me with his gifts the way he enlightens and calls and gathers his church. The 39 Articles of Faith of the English Reformation of the Anglican Church. We cannot, in our own strength, turn to the calling of God. In the 11th, we are accounted righteous solely on the merit and righteousness of Christ. How we grasp the Holy Spirit. Is the crux of the reformation and the gospel and the width and the depth of our Christian worldview and what it means to put our faith in God's promises. Believe the gifts are mine as I rest in what he has done. And then I serve God in appreciation. So how do we teach this to our kids in these fleshy, sinful moments? Yes, there are consequences for sin. Appropriate discipline helps us learn. The results from bad decisions, really decisions of trusting in ourselves rather than trusting God, but there has to be forgiveness of our sins it is an absolution that both satisfies God's wrath and our debt. We, because of what we believe. are in God's favor because God says you are forgiven and God says you are a royal priesthood and because God says you are favored. We, as parents, simply have to ask our kids to confess their sin to God, explain what the sin caused to us in the family and how it conflicts with what God says. And as the child confesses and repents, we remind them. If we say we have no sin, we deceive ourselves and the truth is not in us. But if we confess, God is faithful and just to forgive us and purify us from all unrighteousness. We don't just get our sins forgiven. We are purified from it because of what Jesus did. We are in favor with God and his promise cleanses us. And that promise remains. We have to rebuild trust sometimes with those that we've hurt, but with God we are. When our kids fail are the opportunities to teach this. and to teach them the gospel and solidify their identity in the kingdom. The joyful family, the joyful Christian family, will see themselves and understand themselves as being forgiven and favored by God by trusting in the promise that the work of God has done and that work alone. The ultimate battle for the heart and soul is a fight for identity. Our king invites our kids to know who they are, what to believe, and where they belong. Until next time, let's remember the words for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven