Raising joyful children in an angry world, a podcast dedicated to faithful parents navigating their families through a stormy culture
This is Raising Joyful Children in an Angry World. I'm your host, Paul Osborne. Today I want to talk about one of the most Interesting and helpful information that comes out of this story about Joseph and his coat of many colors. It is about how we can build each other up and bear true witness in our home to help our kids maintain and strengthen their reputation and their identity. One of the biggest misses I fear in most churches is there's a focus sometimes. and not as much attention to thou shalls positive part of the commandments. You remember, we were trying to understand this story by using the 10 commandments, the Lord's prayer, the apostles creed, and today I just want to look at. I want to point out that Joseph's family fails miserably at the ability to recognize God's gifts and point them out and encourage them. We have said, when we look at the first section, this is a dysfunctional family that is built on distrust. Jacob, who is Israel, he gives his son a coat. It's kind of a, you know, a worldly thing to give him. It's the focus on the outward. And he seems to favor him in order to get favors. He's sending him down to spy on his brothers and to give him reports. The brothers, we're told, couldn't even speak a kind word about him. What is that? Well, that's an absolute refusal of the positive side of the commandment of bearing true witness instead of thou shalt not bear false witness, it's the opposite. And so today I want you to see how Joseph is trapped between his dad and his brothers. And then last time we looked at this, we saw that the brothers, He is thrown down into a cistern. He is stripped of the coat. They're thinking about killing him. In fact, that's what they want to do. Reuben says, Oh, we can't shed blood. And Judah comes up with a perfect plan of bearing false witness. He sells him into slavery. And in the Here we see this contrast of a person trapped in a family between two sides of this family. Now he's in a literal trap. And the Ishmaelites come down and that's who he is sold to. And we see how God begins to rescue him out of this trap. But here's the thing I want to point out. I want you to notice the contrast when he gets to Potiphar's house. And what Potiphar does in order to build up his reputation and to actually act on the positive side of this commandment. I want a contrast between positive bearing true witness the right way and compare that to Judah and his life who starts the false witness and where he ends up in chapter 38. And here's the reason. This is the big reason your kids are going to get their reputations. Their faith, their identities attacked in this world over and over, and your family needs to be the one place where their reputations will not be attacked. It has to not only be that, but it has to be the one place. where they're built up. Brothers and sisters are going to tease each other. That's part of life. But you have to teach your kids to support each other and to speak kind truths that build the reputation. We're going to see how this works with Potiphar from a parental standpoint. To learn to see what God has given your kids. In terms of their blessings and to help the family point that out is a habit that has to be cultivated. We need Barnabas as the encourager in our family. And so training your children in this to look and see the value of their identity and the identity of their siblings in the kingdom. And the blessings of God will let your family be a place where they are safe from false accusations. Because out in that world, those things are getting ripped and torn all the time. So anyway, we move from this initial trap, right, in the home where he's trapped between his brothers and his dad, ending up in a physical trap. In many action movies, right, the hero falls into a trap. And how does he get out of it? Well, our main character, Joseph, has been trapped by his brothers. They've turned jealousy to envy. They've taken his coat. They've thrown him down the well. And God comes along. And Judah comes up with a sin. And yet God sends the Ishmaelites. We have to teach our kids. They didn't just happen to come along. God sends them to rescue Joseph out of the trap. And even though it's compromised. Reuben didn't want to kill him. Reuben was trying to get him back to his father. Judah comes up with a lie. Well, we'll sell him off and we'll tell this story. we'll see what happens in this escape. But I, I would encourage you to take a look at chapter 38 and see how Judah's life Just completely deteriorates. He marries into a foreign tribe. He and his sons suffer tremendously. Some of his sons death at the at the hand of God's justice and Judah is trapped in this twisted intimate relationship in which he tries to have a relationship with a prostitute that he covers up and ends up being revealed in a daughter in law. It is a classic example of that we don't break God's laws, we end up breaking ourselves. He's trying to cover up his sinful actions to save his reputation. And yet you contrast this to Joseph, particularly in the house of Potiphar. I want you to see how Joseph sees what's happened to him there. Potiphar sees that the Lord is with Joseph. He prospered him in the house of his master. And when his master saw that the Lord was with him, and that he gave him success in everything he did, Joseph found favor in his eyes. we go from favor of, that's, all screwed up with, with Jacob to a favor that is related to, Oh, I see how God has blessed you. That's a huge difference. And then here's the key. Potiphar He does not put him in charge. He gives him more responsibilities. He puts him in charge of the household, and he trusts him to care for everything that he owns. The way we build our kids up is to recognize the talents in us. And the blessings that God has given them and then to give them more responsibility based on our recognition of what God is doing. That then allows them to see what God is doing to them. And that, and that trust now is being built. You went from a family that was filled with distrust into Potiphar's house that is filled with trust based on his observation of what God is doing. You see the contrast. It's incredible. And so, you, you get down to a place where he is caring for everything and he's a good looking guy and now all of a sudden, Potiphar's wife. Now comes, you know, lustfully after him, and he refused. He says, My master does not concern himself with anything in this house. Everything he owns, he has entrusted to my care. No one is greater in this house than I. My master withheld nothing from me except you, because you're his wife. How then could I do such a wicked thing and sin against God? You see how this whole scenario you've been taken out of he's been taken out of the trap He's been taken out of this household Which is dysfunctional on distrust and now God has built him up into a place in Which he sees his value in the kingdom Based on Potiphar's recognition of what God is doing and this incredible foundation of trust this positive of bearing true witness of what God is doing. This is what I really want you to, take a look at. there's nothing wrong with telling our kids, Hey, good game today. the, your recital was perfect. oh, your report card was good. those are all wonderful things. But we have to see what God is doing in their lives and we have to tie the kingdom of God and God's hand and God's actions into these appraisals. And our action has to be somewhere in which we trust them with more responsibility. This is the exercise of building up. I will tell you, your boys in this society are going to face reputationally ruinous situations. By the intimate offerings of many members of this culture. There are going to be parents who will encourage their daughters to engage in the same lust that we just read from Potiphar's wife. Your girls are going to be in a society where they're going to face attacks on their looks, their appearance, their conduct. And there will be parents perfectly comfortable with activities that you are not comfortable with. And the question becomes, how will they battle back? If we think it's going to be based on worldly success, you're a star athlete, you got great grades, human achievement, you're ignoring all that's happening around you. Because most of the time, In these cases of successful kids, the more success they have, the bigger the temptations and the more vicious and often hateful the lies are. Resistance is built on trust that comes in your family, on acknowledging what God has blessed them with, helping them to see what God has blessed them with by entrusting them more, and allowing God to work on their hearts so that they desire more. Not to, not to turn to ruin, but to trust what God has done. And they need that, not just from parents, they need that from siblings. Now I want to be real. Just because we're doing that doesn't mean they won't suffer attacks. We see it in this story. Joseph has had his confidence in who God is and his connection to the kingdom rebuilt. And yet he's still attacked. These attacks are going to happen. In fact, our kids from time to time are going to break our trust, and we're going to be disappointed. But the only choice we have is to ask God to pull them out of the traps, out of the broken trust, and work with God and work with them and our other siblings to rebuild our trust. Find what God is doing in their life and build on that foundation and remind them over and over of who God says they are. The waters of baptism, God has put his word in it and he puts his name, Father, Son, and Holy Spirit over their name. That's given to kids. We, we look at things like the vine, uh, the vine of Christ and branch, and a branch being grafted. That's the vascular system of a plant. This is what, this is what the Lord is saying He's going to do for your kids. He's going to literally connect them to the vascular system. of the tree of life. These are concepts that we have to kind of grasp and be able on our own way to trust God to build up our kids in the kingdom and we have to be looking for it. Now, I want to be honest with you, when you get to be my age, it's easier, so much easier. to look at my adult children and say, wow, God has really equipped them to be a great mom. It's even easier when I have my grandkids around to see, wow, God's given that child a particular spiritual gift, a sensitivity to something that's spiritual. And the reason for this is I'm not in the chaos of having to get them up every day and fed and off to school and after school activities and a full time job and all that. All those things that distract you. So I'm a realist about this, but if you will help your family from time to time, take some, some one day and just say, Hey, let's recognize some spiritual gifts that everybody has around this table. Let's thank God for those and remind kids of who God says they are in his kingdom. You will see that this building up of trust will result in them becoming the moms and dads that you pray they will become. The ultimate battle for the heart and soul is a fight for identity. Our king invites our kids to know who they are, what to believe, and where they belong. Until next time, let's remember the words for theirs is the Kingdom of Heaven.