How Independence Strengthens Our Ability to Ask for More

We’ve talked before about recognizing the beliefs that can hold us back but we also need to take a closer look at the relationships we have in our lives and how they can either help us make important leaps to continue to make improvements or subtly drag us down and get in the way of progress. This week on Journeys Through Change, I’m sharing how independence strengthens our ability to ask for more.

In this episode, I discuss:

• 3 ways we operate in the world when it comes to our personal and professional relationships- independently, interdependently, and co-dependently. 
• The damaging dynamics of control and dependence in unhealthy relationships that are often disguised as love or protection. 
• Areas where codependence can show up the most in our lives. 
• Practices we can use and things to consider when working to become more independent.
• The internal and external challenges you may face when becoming more independent. 

Questions to ask yourself to know if you’re in a relationship that is not supportive of your independence:

• Does this person hold your finances, career opportunities or feelings of self esteem in their hands?
• Do you feel heard after you discuss difficult topics?
• Do you rely on this person for the answers? if so, how often? 
• Does their behavior or words affect how you feel about your capabilities?
• Do you feel a sense of dread or lack of validation when they are not around? 
• Do you take direction regularly from them?
• Do you feel smart and capable around them? Rely on them to ‘take care of it”
• How free do you feel you can state your needs?
• Do you feel you have permission to make decisions without their input?
• How open do you think they would be to support you if you made more decisions on your own?

Just remember, independence can look different for each of us and is the first step in shedding the old behavior and mindset and growing into the person we were meant to become.

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