Failing Forward Isn’t Failing More, It’s Recovering Faster with Jacob Brown Artwork

Aspire for More with Erin

This podcast is designed to mentor, motivate and create momentum to support the Executive Directors in the senior living industry. The Executive Director role is one of the hardest roles to succeed in due to the constant demands of the expectations from residents, families, home (corporate) office and associates. It is the goal of the host, Erin Thompson, to create an interactive environment that allows active support and mentoring in the same place consistently. A safe and neutral space where the silly questions, the hard and emotional questions can be asked without fear.

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Failing Forward Isn’t Failing More, It’s Recovering Faster with Jacob Brown

January 08, 2026 • Erin Thompson

Send me your feedback on this episode!

What if failure isn’t the problem — but how leaders respond to failure is?

In this episode of Aspire for More with Erin, Erin sits down with Jacob Brown, former professional football player turned keynote speaker and author, to unpack what it really means to fail forward — and why fear-based leadership is quietly burning out capable leaders across industries.

This conversation goes far beyond motivation. It’s about identity, recovery, and leadership capacity.

Jacob shares his personal journey through professional sports, addiction, homelessness, and rebuilding his life — and how those experiences shaped his Fail Forward philosophy and his powerful concept of Avocado Leadership: leading from your core, not from fear.

Together, Erin and Jacob explore why:

Protection keeps leaders stuck
Failure is information, not a verdict
Recovery speed matters more than perfection
Leadership requires softness, strength, and grounded boundaries

If you’re a leader who cares deeply, feels the weight of responsibility, and knows you’re capable of more — this episode will meet you right where you are.

In This Episode, You’ll Learn:

Why failing forward isn’t failing more — it’s recovering faster
How fear-based leadership turns leaders into bottlenecks
The hidden cost of over-functioning and self-protection
Why shame only has power in silence
How to separate your worth from outcomes
What Avocado Leadership really means:
- Soft enough to connect
- Strong enough to hold the line
- Grounded enough to stay true to your core
How speaking goals out loud creates momentum and opportunity
Why growth doesn’t come from pressure — it comes from capacity

Memorable Moments & Quotes:

“Failure is information, not a verdict.”
“Protection is what keeps leaders stuck.”
“Shame only has power in silence.”
“Failing forward isn’t failing more. It’s recovering faster.”
“Growth doesn’t come from pressure. It comes from capacity.”

Why This Conversation Matters:

Too many leaders are exhausted — not because they don’t care, but because they care too much in fear-based systems.

This episode isn’t about hype or hustle.
It’s about learning how to:

Trust yourself again
Lead without carrying everything alone
Build leadership capacity that actually sustains results

This is the work Erin does every day with leaders through coaching, mentoring, and speaking — helping them stop protecting themselves long enough to grow.

Learn more about the 100% Leader here

New ED's Playbook to Creating and IMpactful Community Cultrue

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Erin: 1:05

Welcome everybody to another episode of the Aspire For More with Erin podcast. Where if I can just. Nerd and geek out for a minute. Just wanted to let you know I am interviewing a former NFL football player. Forget NFL College because we know that that's what I like to talk about a lot, which is college football. So. you are witnessing something that's pretty darn cool to me. But his name is Jacob Brown and he is one of the most electric voices rising in the world of professional speaking. A former NFL athlete turned, serial entrepreneur, bestselling author and keynote speaker. His high impact keynotes have earned standing ovations at some of the world's most respected organizations, including Intel Meta. LinkedIn, UPS, Northwestern Mutual, the Dallas Cowboys, and many more. As a three time TEDx speaker and and co-founder of Valo, a global athletic and fitness apparel brand, Jacob brings a rare blend of grit, heart, and strategy to every stage. His insights have been featured in Forbes, the Wall Street Journal, and good morning America. Off the stage. Jacob is a devoted husband and proud father of four. And if I have read your LinkedIn page, and I know in a past conversation. You are just a human being. Yes. So welcome human being and Jacob Brown to the

Jacob: 2:37

episode. Thank you so much, Aaron. I could not be more honored and happy to jump on this call. And again, yes, that, that introduction is absolutely incredible. I'm pretty sure Chad, GBT helped someone write that, that someone being me, but at the end of the day, like you said, I'm just a human being. That's, that's all I hope to be and want to be. And, hopefully. That comes across in today's interview.

Erin: 3:02

Yes. I, I have been following, you don't even know how long I've been following you. I don't even know how I found you, honestly. that's the great thing about LinkedIn, and that's what it's attracted me to your content is the fact that you're a human being. I like all of your speaker reels that you do. They're so much fun. And then listening to them. It, it does appeal to the human in me, which is great. And it's great to see somebody who is as successful as you are in this craft of speaking and entrepreneurship. I guess taking the mantle of like human being first. Yeah.

Jacob: 3:43

Yeah, I, I come from a family of athletes, so I, I made it to the NFL back in 2006. I watched my Uncle Monty, who's about 13 years older than me. I watched him make it to two Super Bowls. He played for the Buffalo Bills and the New England Patriots. He was a linebacker. and then he went on to wrestle in the WE for about 11 years, which is just crazy. I have a younger brother, Ike Brown, who is, About a year and a half younger than me, who also went to the NFL. He went to the Atlantic, Atlanta Falcons and then played six years in the Canadian Football League. He's now one of the assistant strength coaches at LSU, like football runs. In my family, I, I grew up, I, I won't say in the spotlight, but I grew up in, in areas and platforms where I was recognized very early and. I allowed it to get to my head, if I'm being honest. I allowed it to blow my head up and grow a ego out of this world, and I thought I was invincible until I wasn't. And one of the, one of the hardest days of my life was back in 2012 when I went through my divorce and I lived homeless for about. Three months, and I was making well over six figures, but I was struggling so bad and I realized, you know, I am not invincible. I, I can break. And I felt broken in that moment. And that was around the time, 20 13, 20 14, where the fell forward movement, the human beingcharge kind of was birthed. And that's when I realized, you know, Jake, you're, you are human and it's okay. So,

Erin: 5:21

yeah, I mean that's a reallylife changing moment. And then, you know, obviously I've had moments like that too, where you realize like you're trying to be super human Yeah. In whatever world you're in, whether it's healthcare or it's football or it's a parent or whatever. And you realize where are these expectations coming from? Yeah. What's driving you? and honestly looking at failure. From a perspective of moving forward as data, as information, and not as worth, because I know I put so much emphasis on failure. And what will people think about me? if I don't do this, they're gonna fire me. all these things or certain disappointments in my past that kept playing and, and steering the, the, the ship of my life when I never took stock of what that failure actually gave me. Yes. Yes. Instead of what it took away from me, which is so powerful. So powerful. Yes, it is.

Jacob: 6:29

It's all about reframing that word failure, and what we, what we truly believe are failures. I, I've learned that in my life. Every mistake. Every setback, every failure literally was a setup for a comeback. I always came back stronger. I mean, even when I tore my rotator cuff in 10th grade, I was a quarterback, and I remember that night the doctor said, Jacob, you're probably not gonna be able to throw a sock three feet. But the breaking of my rotator cuff allowed me to throw a ball more than 70 yards once I came back. And I tore my ACL the end of my third year at Central Michigan, and I had to sit out a, a. My fourth year came back my fifth year, and that was the year that propelled me into the NFL. So one of the things I learned at a very young age is that my failures, my setbacks were actually just set ups for comeback. But it's how we proceeded, right? What is our perception? What is our perspective around that word fail. And I made the word fail an acronym. I believe that fail is fueling your ambition to ignore your limitations. And once we can fuel our ambition and ignore our limitations, that word fail loses its power. It loses its power because every failure that you have in your life, you understand that that's feedback. You understand it's information, and it's a stepping stone to what is next. So hopefully that that helps somebody, when you hear that word fail, just think of fueling your ambition and ignore your limitations.

Erin: 8:07

Yeah, a lot of people that I coach, I work in the senior living industry and it's a lot of, we're, we're led a lot by fear. Fear of what's going to happen to you if you don't hit certain numbers or fear if you don't move a certain amount of people in. And when I was an athlete, I was coached with fear and as, And as I look back at my parents. God knows I love'em, but I was raised fearful of consequences. And so, when I look back now and I realize how much fear was instilled in me and how limiting it was, right? Because of what I was going to. subscribe to myself was because we had to move forward. And if I didn't wanna get the consequence that was waiting for me, if I had a bad day at school or whatever it was. Yeah. But it built so much anger and it made me so aware of the limitations in life. Yes. But when we remove fear or I, I allow fear to motivate me to grow through it. I tell people all the time, you can get fired at work. Yeah. And actually be thankful for it and get another job because you're able to tell the story of what that experience gave you. It's when you, it's when you don't allow it to fuel you forward is the problem, And that's your book, right? And that's what, is that what

Jacob: 9:39

you talk about in the book? I do, I do. So one of my primary keynotes is embracing fear and failing forward. So I wrote this book called A Fail Forward Mentality, right? What is a fail forward mentality? A fail forward mentality is understanding that everything that we go through in our lives. Is to help us for a better tomorrow. And sometimes in the moment it sucks. There's a story I tell, and this is around fear. It's about the old Chinese farmer that once lost his horse and all the villagers came around and they said, that's a bad fortune, isn't it? He says, maybe the next day the Chinese farmer's horse returned with seven wild horses, and all the villagers came around. They said, that's great fortune, isn't it? He says, maybe. The following day, the Chinese farmer's son took out one of the wild horses to try to tame it. He was thrown off the horse's back and broke his leg. All the villagers came around. They said, that's bad fortune, isn't it? He says, maybe. The next day, the Chinese emperor ordered all able-bodied men to join the war because they were going to war with the neighboring country in that war. Many men were maimed and many were killed, but the Chinese farmer's son was saved because his leg was broken and he couldn't fight, and all the villagers came around. They said, that's good fortune. Your son was saved, isn't it? Chinese farmers simply replied, maybe. In China, there's a saying, whenever anything bad happens, they always say, wo shima. Sa. Shima means, remember the old Chinese farmer that once lost his horse because he understood something, he understood. He did not have to fear what was going on in his life, whether good or bad. He understood that good things will happen in his life, but they could come with a curse. Bad things will happen in your life, but they could come with a blessing. So if you understand that everything that happens in your life is happening for your good, it might not seem like it in the moment, but you don't have to fear anything. There are people that are fearing the economy, they're fearing the weather, they're fearing getting let go from their job. But there are people in this life that look back and say, I'm glad I lost my job. I'm so glad I got laid off. I am one of them. Amazon laid me off in January of 2023. I was always already an entrepreneur. I was already speaking for about eight years at the time, but they laid me off and I didn't fear because I understood that that was a propel propelling me propelling moment for me in my life. That wasn't, I wasn't being laid off. I was actually being launched. I was being launched into my calling. I was being launched into my purpose, and I didn't have to fear because I had already gone through so much in my life at that time that I knew that this was God's way of saying. Move. move. The old Chinese farmer understood life wasn't happening to him, but life was actually happening for him. Everything in your life. It's not happening to you, it's actually happening for you. And when you look back in your life and you say, I remember that time where I felt like the world was over. I got laid off from that job. I got divorced. I went through that terrible car accident, but it helped propel me to grow thick skin. It helped me to grow wisdom and it helped me to be able to help other people that are gonna go through those same things to understand saima. Everything in life is happening for you. It's true,

Erin: 12:57

and it's hard to get there, boy, it's hard to get there. It's hard to get there. When you're in that victim mentality and those things are piling up, it's hard to get there. Oh yeah. But you get there if you keep. Seeing it. So in that book, is it a bunch of short stories? Is it a bunch of quotes

Jacob: 13:17

Yeah. The first half of the book is a little bit of story about how I grew a failed for mentality, right? So I struggled with alcoholism. I struggled with suicidal. Thoughts and I tell a story about that right in the beginning half of the book. And then I give seven, seven principles in different areas where you can apply a fail for mentality. But the back half of the book are my 100 favorite quotes. You can see some of the quotes. My 100 favorite quotes, and I have a short story for each one of them of what that quote means to me. My favorite quote is the first quote that's in this book. It's Speak What You Seek until you see what you've said. That's from Chris. I love that quote. Yeah, it's my, it is, it is my favorite quote. It's by Chris Gardner. Chris Gardner is who Will Smith was depicting in the movie The Pursuit of Happiness. Chris Gardner's a real person. He lives in Chicago. He is a large broker worth over$80 million, and he says, speak what you see until you see what you said. I believe our words have power. What we say we hear what we hear, we believe what we, whatever we believe, we tend to take action or an action on, and whatever we act, take action on, we expect to come to fruition.

Erin: 14:22

And I think actually now that you say that quote, I don't know. I'm not sure how the algorithm showed me that, but I remember that being like the hook for me really speak what you seek until you see what you, what you said said Yes. I remember that so vividly. oh my God, that is power. that quote has been something that I have actually taken with me. And when somebody, like a person like me who struggled with the mindset and, and even speaking out. future goals of mine, or the word just is something that, that I say a lot and then I have to say to myself, just is very demeaning. It is. You don't say that to other people and you don't say that to about yourself. And if you want to be. A keynote speaker Yes. Or the chaplain at an NFL game. You have to put that out there.

Jacob: 15:25

Yes, yes. I firmly believe if we do not share our goals or what our intentions in life, right. the greatest human beings on this earth are great communicators. If you think of any great leader, they were always a great communicator. They had to speak. Wars are started and stopped with words. It's not even actions. Okay? So the more we can learn to communicate the things that we want in this life and speak the things we seek, the more that the, the world will help us achieve those goals. I share my goals every year. I don't know if you probably see every now and then I will share what my bucket list of cities that I wanna speak at, right? Yes. And you won't see any other speakers doing this. Because they might think it looks desperate or they're begging. I, I'm literally just sharing my bucket list. I would love to speak in these cities. I have visited these cities, but I've never spoken there, right? Or I've never visited these cities and I would love the opportunity to go and un enjoy the culture, impact people in that area. And I share that every single year. I also share what my goals are every single year publicly, because I remember one time I shared my bucket list of cities, And one of them was Las Vegas. I had never spoken in Las Vegas. This was two years ago. And within 30 minutes, a lady on LinkedIn named Abby Marada, she reached out to me. She says, I'm actually hosting a conference in Las Vegas, and I've been following you for a while, and we want to hire you to come speak. Within 30 minutes of that post. Now, if I had never shared my bucket list of cities, she might not have reached out to me for that opportunity. You never know who's watching, who's willing to help, and when you speak the things that you seek, the world and the universe in God will respond.

Erin: 17:15

Yeah, it's so true. It's so true. And I'm going to do that. I'm going to do that myself. Did you, do you find it to be, maybe not now, but at the beginning, you just felt like, do I want to press post on this? Oh yeah.

Jacob: 17:29

Yes, yes. There. There was so many times towards the beginning of my speaking career and even just my LinkedIn. Communication, I started, I've been on LinkedIn since 2007. I started really diving in around 2 20 13, and even towards that time I was still working for corporate America, so I had to be careful about what I said and didn't say, or what I promoted and didn't promote, but I was still very transparent. With the things that I wanted, with the things I thought and the things that I shared. And Simon Sinek, one of my favorite speakers, he, he shared one time that just changed my mind about a lot of things. He says, be as transparent as possible with the least amount of words.

Erin: 18:12

Mm-hmm.

Jacob: 18:13

Be as transparent as possible with the least amount of words. And when I saw that, I was like, oh my gosh, that's genius. I can share stories, I can share thoughts, but I don't have to go into great detail. I can leave a little bit of blind spots or, or some read between the lines, things there. But once I started sharing them, the more I realized that other people are thinking these same things, They're feeling these same things. They're just waiting for someone else to share them and be vulnerable enough. To, to share them. If you think about Mel Robbins, she, she does videos from her bed in her pajamas, right? Multimillionaire. And she's, she has no makeup on. She's still got her sleeping glasses on. She got pajamas on, and she's talking about, I don't want to get out of bed. I have to literally crawl, slide out of bed to teach people how to get themselves moving, right? And people love that vulnerability. They love that transparency because it resonates and it's real. If it's always polished, it's not going to land. So meet people where they are.

Erin: 19:14

Yeah. Go find them. Yes. Go find them where they are. Yes, for sure. So when we talk about failure, and now obviously Jacob Brown is a motivational, speaker. I'm feeling pumped up as he's speaking to me about it, but it's also operational. It. It truly is because if you think about it from a business perspective and you have a community or a company who is stuck, yeah, typically it's the leader who is the bottleneck of that. And if you really dive, dive deep and look for the root, I bet you a lot of the time it's the fear. It's the fear of failing. and adding on to what he's saying there, he has another keynote, which I thought was really cool. talking about avocado leadership. Yes, yes. And speaking about the vulnerability of it and going and tying back in and. When I talk about branding with, with communities and how to tie things in together. I mean, it's, it's a truly brilliant thing that you're doing here, and I really want people to see it. He's a football player who's talking about failing forward. And he even brings up alcoholism. Which is very vulnerable and very humanizing, and I have my own experience with loving someone going down that path with them. And in tying the two together, really the fear of failing and the fear of not being enough and not understanding the thoughts in our head is. I would say probably the majority of how a alcoholism starts in people. A hundred percent. A hundred percent. And when you walk, it's trying to fill a void. Yes. When you walk through that journey with somebody, it was one of the most profound turning points in my life. and am I thankful for that pain? Yes. Would I wish that pain on no one? No. That is correct. But. would I be where I am today without that pain? I don't think so. I don't think I would be, I wouldn't understand things on such a human level, and that is truly tying in the avocado leadership. Because, you know, I, I talk about this all the time, probably offline more than online, but really coaching and mentoring. Really has an AA effect on people. Oh my gosh,

Jacob: 21:36

yes. Absolutely. Absolutely. But you would not

Erin: 21:38

understand unless you've been there and done that.

Jacob: 21:42

Yes. I, I fully agree. You know what, when I, when I spent my time in aa, I learned the unconditional love and forgiveness side. And. Extracting actions from person because I, I believe that a lot of times we tie the actions of a person to who that person is and what they are, and all they are, and I think that that is the most limiting thinking we could ever do to ourselves and also to other people, because the actions of a person. It's, it's derivative of something that they've either gone through, something they've seen or something that they haven't healed yet. Right. But it doesn't mean that that is their destiny. It doesn't mean that that's all they are. Because if that, if that's true, then there was a period of time where I was a drunkard digging out of trash cans from, for bottles that I hid from my wife and my family. I was someone that was, abandoning my, my clients, my, my businesses, my employees, my work going on two to three day vendors. And if you saw me during those times, I am not even close to who that man was at that point. I'm four year four, almost four and a half years sober at this point. My life is completely different. And it's not just my life, it's everyone around me. And they've all seen the transformation and they often tell me, we always knew that that wasn't you. And I think we need to give each other grace because the actions that, and, and you said, you wouldn't know that unless you saw it. Unless you had been through seeing this experience, you wouldn't have the knowledge that you have now because you, you've experienced, you've seen the transformation of whoever it is. Right. And, I, I am so grateful for places like AA that give people a second, third, fourth, fifth, sixth chance that doesn't judge them that, Helps them to understand, listen, if you want to get help, here are the steps, and if you work those steps, this is the process and you will be changed. And I, I'm so grateful. That I came in contact with that because I've helped other people stay sober. And to see them go through one year, two year, three years, that gives me so much hope that it's not something that is forever damaging, but it could be something that you can have retribution from.

Erin: 24:40

People don't understand it unless they know, which I think is probably why the energy of you has, has attracted me the algorithm of life, right? Yes. Because I see it on a, on a whole other level,

Jacob: 24:54

Yes, yes. Thank you for sharing that as well.

Erin: 24:57

Yes, yes, you too. I appreciate that. It's very validating and hopefully if you're listening, you feel validated too because the courage, the vulnerability. Truly, it is not for attention. No. Although it attracts attention, I'm realizing. But it truly is a survival mechanism for people who have lived hiding these things, and they understand the power of actually sharing it and also changing the perspective around it, because that's, well, I'll speak for me. That's for me. Mm-hmm. And I hope that you get something from it. But that's for me because I need it to be out because I need sunlight to be on it. Because for so long it was not, and although I did not have a problem with alcohol, I certainly was an addict of poor thinking and poor thinking was my drug. Yes. And, and I always looked for evidence to, to support it. To support it. And I found it and it ruined a lot of. Years of my life for that when I could have been so much more. So that is why I speak that, because I never want to go back there again.

Jacob: 26:14

Yes. Yeah. I had a therapist during my time of getting sober at the beginning of my sober journey. And he shared with me one thing because one of the things that keep you in the loop, and this isn't even just a about addiction. This is about anything that is keeping you in the loop of poverty, keeping you in the loop of bad jobs, keeping you in the loop of bad relationships, whatever it might be, that you can't seem to break that cycle. He said, when you are in that cycle of guilt and shame. And you don't speak about it, you continue the cycle of guilt and shame because you firmly believe that that is what you deserve. And I remember there was a period in my life where I was this is what I deserve. I deserve to feel this. I deserve to lose everything. I deserve to destroy my life. But that was the drug that was telling me those lies. And once I got out of the fog of my addiction and I started to share publicly that, yeah, I'm three years, three months sober. I'm four months, I'm six months sober, I'm a thousand days sober, whatever it might be. I felt I was taking the power back away from the guilt and shame, and that's one of the things he said was when you share openly, you take the power away from what once held you in chains. Now it has to release you because it has no more power over you. Yes. And that is one of the reasons why I can stand on a stage in front of 2000 people and share my addiction story openly because I know that there are hundreds of people in the audience that are either dealing with it, have dealt with it, or are with someone, or know someone that's dealing with this, right? And it never fails after every speaking engagement I do. Where I share any ounce of what I've overcome, someone comes up to me or several people and they share, I'm six months sober. I'm one month sober.

Erin: 28:22

Or,

Jacob: 28:22

thank you for sharing that because I know I need to make a change in my life, and that's why I do what I do. I don't do it for attention because it's embarrassing, to be quite honest. it is embarrassing, but being able to openly share it takes that power away from that embarrassing shame, guilt. So, yeah. Thank you for opening that up.

Erin: 28:41

Yeah, yeah, absolutely. it has taught me truly you tell people what to think and they'll think it, but if you don't tell people what to think, they're gonna put their own spin on it. And it's always, yes, I've gotten fired from a job, and let me tell you why it was the best thing that ever happened to me. Yes. And then they'll take away, they'll be oh, ow. it ain't so bad. It's not so bad, it really isn't so bad. So all of that ties into avocado leadership, which is the human element of leadership. Yeah. Which I, I love, I love how you describe it and I think the, the core of it, we'll let you describe what it is, but I think it's important because. People get caught up. I have realized, and again, this is part of my journey, but you can't love people enough to get them to change. You can't be angry at people enough to get them to change. Yes. But what creates change is the influence to someone's core values. in senior living there's so many. People who are hurting that come to healthcare because you can help people. Yes. And being someone's hero and, and, and, and always solving people's problems are the biggest dopamine hits you can have. And on the flip side of that, watching people not change their behavior. Makes you so resentful because sometimes you're bending over backwards for them and they're still calling out or doing all these things. And we have to tell people you can't love them enough. You can't do their job for them enough in order for them to value what coming to work will do for them. Yes. But as you say, the core values. Can be an influence to influence somebody to choose the right thing. So I'm not gonna steal your thunder anymore. Talk to us about the avocado leader.

Jacob: 30:47

Yes. One of, let me, let me touch on what you just shared because, I was watching a Jim Rohn. Talk. And Jim almost talking about relationships and whatever. The relationship is, a friendship, a spouse, a business relationship. And we often, like you said, we try to change the other person. We, we want them to do what we want them to do. But what does the, what does the saying say, Be the change you want to see. Yes. Yeah. And Jim Rome talked about how, you'll tell your spouse or your friends or, or your employees, Hey, I'll take care of you if you take care of me. And he says, we've gotta get out of that mindset where you will only take care of someone if they take care of you. Instead, this, this is a mindset we should be in. I will take care of me for you, and you take care of you for me. Imagine if you became the best you that you can be. Think about the people that you could impact when you are the most healthy. You, when you are the smartest, most wise. You, when you are the, the, the most giving. You think about what you would do for those that you do love and that you are over when you are taking care of you first. Just like on an airplane, they tell you to put Your oxy oxygen mask on. First, not even your children's because you can only help other people and do right by other people when you do right by yourself. Right, and this ties directly into avocado leadership. Avocado leadership is essentially learning how to lead from the core. All of us have core values, right? And in a, in a relationship, we call these love languages. Right. You know the love language of your partner. You, and they, they know the love language of you, right? And the more that you understand each other's love languages, the more that you can love them, that they, the way they wanna be loved, and that they can love you the way that you want to be loved, right? But how does that translate into business? How does that translate into leadership? Because if you are over people, or you'll have colleagues, you need to understand what their business love language is. And you can only understand that when you're leading from the core. I firmly believe that the, the, the best leaders have the makeup of what a good ripe avocado have. Okay? Now, the best leaders have the makeup of a good ripe avocado. Now, everyone has tried to cut into an avocado too soon, when it was still hard it wasn't. Right. Yes. Right. Disgusting. And even if you got through that layer of skin. The flesh is hard. It's not nourishing. It's not good, right? Some leaders are put into positions way too early. They're not ready. They need to be ripe. They need to be gone, have gone through something. The same is true with the avocado. Avocados have three layers, the skin, the flesh, and the seed. Okay? The same is true that the skin protects the avocado. It's the outer shell of the avocado, and when it is most. Nourishing that skin is, it's worn. It's gone through some things, right? It's been placed in different environments. Same is true with a great leader. It has gone through some things. It has thick, tough skin. It is the outer shell of what people see. When they see you in your skin. What do they see? Do they see someone approachable, or do they see someone hard? That is hard to approach? That is unapproachable, right? And the skin or the flesh inside the avocado. Once it is ripe. Soft. The skin is soft. The flesh is soft. It is nourishing to whoever eats it, whether it's in, guacamole or whether it's on avocado toast, it's going to be nourishing, right. Your insides as a leader need to be soft. You, you need to learn how to lead with empathy. You need to understand the people that you're leading. You need to understand your colleagues and understand how to lead them and how they need and want to be led. The seed inside that avocado produces more avocado trees. Okay. The same is true with the seed, the core that's inside of us. We need to be producing more leaders and not just more followers. But the only way we can do that is if we are nourishing. If we have wisdom and if we understand the core values, the business love languages of each leader, then they will understand, okay, they're a good leader. If you think about the best leaders in your life, the people that have impacted you so much in your life that you were under. They led with empathy. They understood you. They weren't always tough, but they did have discipline, right? They loved you the way that you needed to be loved. They cared about your family outside of your business, right? And they led with empathy. They led from the core, and those are the type of leaders that we try to emulate. We, we grow as another leader because of the great leaders that we had. So an avocado leader does all of those things, and I've broken down the word avocado into an acronym for the seven attributes of a great Leader. I won't get into those now, but I think the three core, the three core, layers of an avocado leader is skin, the flesh, and the seed.

Erin: 36:02

Yeah. An avocado leader, is true to their core, which if leadership is about you, you gotta know who you are. Period. Yes. Period. Yes. soft enough to connect. Yes. Absolutely. And then strong enough to hold the line, which I think is really important because the boundaries component of leadership can get messed up. Yes. A lot. Absolutely. And then guarded enough that you, don't outsource your worth, right? To the outcome.

Jacob: 36:32

Yep.

Erin: 36:33

Yep. Which goes back to failing forward. Look at you, Jacob. You're so good. so failing forward is not necessarily failing more. No. Maybe recovering faster.

Jacob: 36:48

Recovering faster in football for your football audience? Yes. This is how I learned how to fail forward. Okay. I was down in Atlanta, Georgia visiting my aunt right before the NFL draft, and she asked me, Jake, what happens if football doesn't work out? And I said, well, I'll just fall back on what I was getting my degree in, which was graphic and web design. She says, Jake, if you're ever gonna fall or fail, always fall or fail forward. And they slap me in the face because most of the time we always think about, okay, what is that fallback plan? What is the plan that we're gonna fall back on if this doesn't work out? Instead of thinking about what you're gonna fall back on, think about what you're gonna fall forward to, okay? What is the information? What is the knowledge? What is the experience you're gonna take into the next phase or project after whatever you quote unquote failed at? In football, we're taught when we're running the ball and we get tackled to fall forward. Anyone that's running the ball or running back a wide receiver quarterback, if you're running the ball, you're taught to fall forward when you get tackled because you gain extra yards. Okay, maybe you get tackled on the eight yard line and you needed to get to the seven to get a first down. You fall forward. You still get that first down, and if you get tackled on the one yard line and you fall forward, what happens? Touchdown. I learned that the same is true in life. Everything that we go through in our life, if you fail, you can take the information, you can take the experience, you can take the knowledge from that failure into the next phase of your life, and you can start off a lot. Further along than if you had started from zero. Now you have information, you have knowledge, you have experience going into that next phase, next project, next relationship, next business, next book. I look at this book and I'm all the things I would've changed in this book. This is my very first book. I didn't know. I can look at this and I failed in this. I failed on that. I failed in these different parts of the book, but now I'm writing a second book and I have the information because I tried in this book. So that's how you fail forward.

Erin: 38:58

I could talk to this man. Forever. But we can't do that because it is a podcast and eventually you're gonna wanna get off and, and live your life and other things. So, I like to say, I don't love to say it, but for my audience, which is primarily senior living or vendors supporting it, we know that our industry is fear based. It is, we're we're, there's a lot of fear. There's a lot of consequences. There's also a lot of love and a lot of opportunity, but it's a lot of opportunity for fear to take root and for us to tie our worth into outcomes because it is so numbers driven. Yeah. Here's what I've learned and here's what Jacob is really communicating to us. And for me, validating and putting the rubber stamp on. Continue thinking this way, Erin. Stop protecting. And, and and preventing failure and start practicing. Yes. Because protecting is going to keep you stuck. You're not gonna be able to grow because you're not gonna be able to fail forward.

Jacob: 40:05

Yes. I love that.

Erin: 40:07

Yes. Yes. And that was, reaffirmed for me last, in December as well. So that is just like a lot of. Messages from the universe that I am yes. Receiving. So I appreciate that. Anything else you wanna leave our audience with? Any words of wisdoms? You have certainly given us a lot to think about today. For sure.

Jacob: 40:30

Yeah. I would say, in 2026, if you have not, if you haven't done this, and I would say even if you have done this, I would encourage you in 2026, even before we get there. To write a six month letter to yourself. Okay? Put the date of whatever day you're writing this letter at the top of the letter, and the other date when you're gonna open it on the outside of the letter. And I want you to write yourself a letter as though you are reading your life that you want at that next date. Okay? So if we're looking at December, January, February, March, April, may, June, if we're looking at June 15, 26 and we say, June 15th, 2026, Jake, you're down another 15 pounds. You've already lost 25. In 2025, you're down another 15 pounds. You're getting closer to that NFL shape. Not only have you spoken to the Cowboys, you spoke to the. To the, Pittsburgh Steelers and the Detroit Lions are bringing you in to speak to their leadership team. Your family is thriving. Your son just got his first three, offers for basketball of college. You and your wife have gone back to your honeymoon, location in St. Thomas, St. John. Things are going great. Your health is good. Your finances are good. And if I read that letter in June of 2015 or 2026. I would say that's a pretty good life, right? It's not unrealistic. It's not something that's unachievable or unattainable, but it's a pretty good life. And if I could say in 2026, June of 2026, that's a letter I'm reading to myself. I would say I'm doing pretty well. So what is the letter you want to write and be reading to yourself in June, July, August of next year? the letter you want to be reading to yourself? Because when you write that letter and you put that letter away and don't open it for six months, I guarantee you will subconsciously and consciously start more marching towards making that life a reality.

Erin: 42:36

Yes, putting it out there. Just put it out there.

Jacob: 42:40

Put it out there.

Erin: 42:42

Put it out there for sure. Gosh, thank you so much, Jacob, for your time. If you need a keynote speaker, Jacob Brown is certainly somebody that I would recommend. He can get a room fired up. He can get an individual fired up over Zoom, so. Definitely, look him up and I hope that, I'll be able to see you speak in person in 2026. Yes, I'll put that down as my goal for me. again, thank you for your time and for you listeners write that letter and, as always, aspire for more for you knowing that you're already enough because that is the secret to success. Have a great day.