{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":0.54,"endTime":4.26,"body":"Hey, folks, Ned"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":0.54,"endTime":4.26,"body":"here, like me, you want your"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":4.26,"endTime":7.8,"body":"kids, your students, honestly,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":4.26,"endTime":7.8,"body":"all the young people you know to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":7.8,"endTime":12.48,"body":"thrive, and you know how much"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":7.8,"endTime":12.48,"body":"you can help. But like me, you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":12.48,"endTime":15.72,"body":"probably also recognize that you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":12.48,"endTime":15.72,"body":"fall short more than you like"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":15.72,"endTime":20.06,"body":"to, in part, because we tend to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":15.72,"endTime":20.06,"body":"revert to old ways. 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I'm"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":74.039,"endTime":77.519,"body":"great. No, I think we are. We"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":74.039,"endTime":77.519,"body":"are constantly searching for"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":77.519,"endTime":81.439,"body":"those signals and to be someone"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":77.519,"endTime":81.439,"body":"who can offer that to somebody,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":81.919,"endTime":85.819,"body":"it is a need just like water,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":81.919,"endTime":85.819,"body":"just like food, just like"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":85.819,"endTime":91.879,"body":"shelter. 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And certainly"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":448.16,"endTime":452.72,"body":"what her great book points to,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":448.16,"endTime":452.72,"body":"and how it didn't used to be."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":453.68,"endTime":457.88,"body":"Families weren't as nuclear, as"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":453.68,"endTime":457.88,"body":"siloed as they are today. And so"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":457.88,"endTime":461.02,"body":"I think your point is such a"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":457.88,"endTime":461.02,"body":"good one of you know, if you're"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":461.02,"endTime":463.48,"body":"of, if you're fortunate enough,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":461.02,"endTime":463.48,"body":"if you have a broad enough"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":463.48,"endTime":466.3,"body":"family, if, certainly, if you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":463.48,"endTime":466.3,"body":"have enough means you can"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":466.36,"endTime":472.36,"body":"acquire all the help around you."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":466.36,"endTime":472.36,"body":"I remember, I was probably 24 I"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":472.36,"endTime":475.42,"body":"was very young, and started my"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":472.36,"endTime":475.42,"body":"work in tutoring, and their kid"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":475.42,"endTime":479.32,"body":"was really having a hard time."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":475.42,"endTime":479.32,"body":"And, no, I was his buddy, and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":479.32,"endTime":483.42,"body":"so, you know, test prep geek or"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":479.32,"endTime":483.42,"body":"whatever. But the mom, who was"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":483.42,"endTime":486.24,"body":"herself a clinician, she was a"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":483.42,"endTime":486.24,"body":"psychologist, pulled me aside,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":486.72,"endTime":491.16,"body":"and she looked at me, and she"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":486.72,"endTime":491.16,"body":"said, You won't understand until"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":491.16,"endTime":494.7,"body":"you have children of your own"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":491.16,"endTime":494.7,"body":"how valuable it is to have other"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":494.7,"endTime":498.36,"body":"adults around your kid whom you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":494.7,"endTime":498.36,"body":"can trust you to have the best"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":498.36,"endTime":501.2,"body":"interest of your kid at heart."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":498.36,"endTime":501.2,"body":"And I smiled and thanked her for"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":501.2,"endTime":503.84,"body":"the compliment, and I didn't"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":501.2,"endTime":503.84,"body":"really think that much of it"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":504.62,"endTime":508.82,"body":"until my own kids had a whole"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":504.62,"endTime":508.82,"body":"bunch of headwinds. You know,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":508.82,"endTime":512.18,"body":"the cleanest story that I can"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":508.82,"endTime":512.18,"body":"tell is my son, who had acquired"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":512.18,"endTime":515.24,"body":"a brain tumor after his first"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":512.18,"endTime":515.24,"body":"year of college, and oh"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":515.24,"endTime":518.12,"body":"goodness. I mean, the number of"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":515.24,"endTime":518.12,"body":"people for whom I have"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":518.12,"endTime":520.96,"body":"gratitude, and we as a family"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":518.12,"endTime":520.96,"body":"have gratitude. It just never"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":520.96,"endTime":525.16,"body":"you don't know the help that you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":520.96,"endTime":525.16,"body":"need until you need it. And to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":525.16,"endTime":528.58,"body":"your point, you raised in the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":525.16,"endTime":528.58,"body":"book, then you see who do people"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":528.58,"endTime":533.62,"body":"step up, or do they not? And it"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":528.58,"endTime":533.62,"body":"is, you know, we are fortunate."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":533.62,"endTime":536.02,"body":"I have a wife with executive"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":533.62,"endTime":536.02,"body":"functions out of ears, and we"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":536.02,"endTime":538.72,"body":"have and that we know enough"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":536.02,"endTime":538.72,"body":"people and have the means to be"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":538.72,"endTime":542.28,"body":"able to get the help that our"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":538.72,"endTime":542.28,"body":"kid needed, but, boy, that's not"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":542.28,"endTime":543.24,"body":"the case for everyone."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":543.72,"endTime":548.88,"body":"No, it isn't."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":543.72,"endTime":548.88,"body":"I was really struck by how it is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":549.18,"endTime":552.18,"body":"really not the case for many"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":549.18,"endTime":552.18,"body":"more people than we would have"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":552.24,"endTime":557.34,"body":"thought that this, this support"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":552.24,"endTime":557.34,"body":"that, you know, was there. It"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":557.34,"endTime":560.36,"body":"was eroding when we were growing"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":557.34,"endTime":560.36,"body":"up, but it was there to our"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":560.36,"endTime":564.74,"body":"neighbors, you know, we were a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":560.36,"endTime":564.74,"body":"more religious society. And I'm"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":564.74,"endTime":568.7,"body":"not saying that religion is a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":564.74,"endTime":568.7,"body":"cure all or a solution, but what"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":568.7,"endTime":574.28,"body":"it gave us was this structure to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":568.7,"endTime":574.28,"body":"our week, that every weekend we"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":574.28,"endTime":577.94,"body":"would be in community. We would"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":574.28,"endTime":577.94,"body":"be hearing about intrinsic"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":577.94,"endTime":582.4,"body":"values. We would be, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":577.94,"endTime":582.4,"body":"every major religion talks about"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":582.4,"endTime":586.78,"body":"this idea of unconditional"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":582.4,"endTime":586.78,"body":"worth, and we as a society have"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":586.78,"endTime":591.76,"body":"traded religion with capitalism."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":586.78,"endTime":591.76,"body":"And who matters in capitalism is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":591.76,"endTime":594.28,"body":"the person that's contributing"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":591.76,"endTime":594.28,"body":"most to it, right? And the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":594.28,"endTime":597.82,"body":"people who aren't contributing"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":594.28,"endTime":597.82,"body":"it, people who are retired,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":597.82,"endTime":601.32,"body":"people have been laid off."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":597.82,"endTime":601.32,"body":"Maybe. Caregivers who've stepped"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":601.32,"endTime":606.3,"body":"back to care for their kids full"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":601.32,"endTime":606.3,"body":"time, they can really strongly"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":606.3,"endTime":609.48,"body":"feel the sense that they do not"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":606.3,"endTime":609.48,"body":"matter in society, that they"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":609.48,"endTime":613.38,"body":"feel invisible. And I heard that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":609.48,"endTime":613.38,"body":"over and over again in my"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":613.38,"endTime":613.98,"body":"interviews,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":614.04,"endTime":617.4,"body":"that that story"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":614.04,"endTime":617.4,"body":"about was it Ken, who"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":617.4,"endTime":621.14,"body":"volunteered at the bookstore,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":617.4,"endTime":621.14,"body":"and they just made him a greeter"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":621.14,"endTime":624.56,"body":"and said, What was the line when"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":621.14,"endTime":624.56,"body":"we get old, they don't invest in"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":624.56,"endTime":625.46,"body":"us anymore."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":625.76,"endTime":628.64,"body":"The hardest"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":625.76,"endTime":628.64,"body":"part of getting older is that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":628.64,"endTime":633.08,"body":"people stop investing in you,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":628.64,"endTime":633.08,"body":"having people in your life who"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":633.08,"endTime":637.46,"body":"believe in you, want you to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":633.08,"endTime":637.46,"body":"grow, want to invest in you. So"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":637.46,"endTime":641.26,"body":"he was, he was working as a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":637.46,"endTime":641.26,"body":"volunteer. It was a community"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":641.26,"endTime":645.94,"body":"nonprofit that sells used books"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":641.26,"endTime":645.94,"body":"to raise money for the town he"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":645.94,"endTime":648.82,"body":"lived in. And, you know, he"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":645.94,"endTime":648.82,"body":"wanted to work the cash"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":648.82,"endTime":653.08,"body":"register, and he wanted to price"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":648.82,"endTime":653.08,"body":"the books, and, you know, the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":653.08,"endTime":655.9,"body":"all these kinds of things, these"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":653.08,"endTime":655.9,"body":"meaning tribute in meaningful"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":655.9,"endTime":659.26,"body":"ways, really exactly. And"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":655.9,"endTime":659.26,"body":"instead, they they stuck him at"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":659.26,"endTime":663.18,"body":"the door to say hello to people,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":659.26,"endTime":663.18,"body":"and he's like, it was a useless"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":663.18,"endTime":666.3,"body":"role. It made me feel like I was"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":663.18,"endTime":666.3,"body":"wasting my time well."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":666.36,"endTime":668.4,"body":"And the thing, and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":666.36,"endTime":668.4,"body":"the thing that's interesting"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":668.4,"endTime":671.22,"body":"there, for me is, for some"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":668.4,"endTime":671.22,"body":"people, that could be an"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":671.22,"endTime":673.8,"body":"interesting role, you know, if"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":671.22,"endTime":673.8,"body":"you particularly, if you're"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":673.8,"endTime":676.26,"body":"really social. I mean, you know,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":673.8,"endTime":676.26,"body":"because you talk about your book"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":676.26,"endTime":678.48,"body":"just, you know, greeting people"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":676.26,"endTime":678.48,"body":"in the barista and all those"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":678.48,"endTime":682.94,"body":"little points of contact. What?"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":678.48,"endTime":682.94,"body":"What struck me about that couple"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":682.94,"endTime":684.86,"body":"things? Well, I guess the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":682.94,"endTime":684.86,"body":"biggest thing is that they"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":684.86,"endTime":689.54,"body":"didn't ask him how he wanted to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":684.86,"endTime":689.54,"body":"contribute. You know, you make a"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":689.66,"endTime":693.02,"body":"point somewhere in that same"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":689.66,"endTime":693.02,"body":"chapter about when people"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":693.02,"endTime":696.2,"body":"contribute, really in social"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":693.02,"endTime":696.2,"body":"services, it increases their"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":696.2,"endTime":701.32,"body":"sense of control. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":696.2,"endTime":701.32,"body":"what is meaningful to you and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":701.32,"endTime":704.14,"body":"what's meaningful to me might"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":701.32,"endTime":704.14,"body":"overlap beautifully, but might"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":704.14,"endTime":707.26,"body":"not at all. And so if you assign"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":704.14,"endTime":707.26,"body":"me something that feels"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":707.26,"endTime":710.02,"body":"meaningful to you but it doesn't"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":707.26,"endTime":710.02,"body":"feel meaningful to me, you know,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":710.02,"endTime":713.32,"body":"and all in theory, all they had"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":710.02,"endTime":713.32,"body":"to do is ask, how would you like"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":713.32,"endTime":715.48,"body":"to contribute? Yeah, or"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":715.48,"endTime":718.6,"body":"tune in to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":715.48,"endTime":718.6,"body":"see, is he more of an introvert?"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":718.78,"endTime":722.04,"body":"Is he somebody who would have"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":718.78,"endTime":722.04,"body":"been better behind the desk?"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":722.52,"endTime":726.78,"body":"There's a Have you heard of the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":722.52,"endTime":726.78,"body":"platinum rule? So we all know"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":726.78,"endTime":731.34,"body":"the golden rule. The golden rule"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":726.78,"endTime":731.34,"body":"is to do unto others as they"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":731.34,"endTime":734.22,"body":"that you know, do unto others as"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":731.34,"endTime":734.22,"body":"you would want them to do unto"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":734.22,"endTime":740.04,"body":"you. The Platinum Rule is Do"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":734.22,"endTime":740.04,"body":"unto others as they would want"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":740.04,"endTime":744.38,"body":"you to do unto them. So really,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":740.04,"endTime":744.38,"body":"it's thinking about the other"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":744.38,"endTime":748.16,"body":"person and what they want and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":744.38,"endTime":748.16,"body":"what they need. So maybe the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":748.16,"endTime":751.46,"body":"person running that nonprofit"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":748.16,"endTime":751.46,"body":"thought, oh, I would love to be"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":751.46,"endTime":754.22,"body":"a greeter. And thought that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":751.46,"endTime":754.22,"body":"making him a greeter was a great"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":754.22,"endTime":759.38,"body":"idea. But instead of actually"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":754.22,"endTime":759.38,"body":"tuning in to see who he was,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":759.56,"endTime":763.84,"body":"where his strengths were, I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":759.56,"endTime":763.84,"body":"think what he was noticing was"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":763.84,"endTime":766.78,"body":"that he felt very"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":763.84,"endTime":766.78,"body":"interchangeable there,"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":767.2,"endTime":770.62,"body":"that he felt like"},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":767.2,"endTime":770.62,"body":"tangible, not a good human need."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":771.22,"endTime":772.24,"body":"Yes, right?"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":772.24,"endTime":777.64,"body":"Exactly. So to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":772.24,"endTime":777.64,"body":"feel like we matter is a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":777.64,"endTime":781.14,"body":"subjective experience, right?"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":777.64,"endTime":781.14,"body":"Somebody else might say, Oh no,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":781.5,"endTime":784.14,"body":"that was important to have"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":781.5,"endTime":784.14,"body":"somebody at the door to greet"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":784.14,"endTime":788.04,"body":"them and make them feel good,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":784.14,"endTime":788.04,"body":"but for him, it wasn't making"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":788.04,"endTime":791.28,"body":"him feel like he mattered. And"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":788.04,"endTime":791.28,"body":"that's the tricky thing about"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":791.28,"endTime":795.66,"body":"mattering, is that it is a felt"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":791.28,"endTime":795.66,"body":"experience. You can't make"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":795.66,"endTime":798.78,"body":"someone else feel like they"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":795.66,"endTime":798.78,"body":"matter. You can do things. You"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":798.78,"endTime":803.0,"body":"can create the conditions, and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":798.78,"endTime":803.0,"body":"very much more likely than not"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":803.0,"endTime":806.18,"body":"people, there are ingredients to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":803.0,"endTime":806.18,"body":"mattering that are that are"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":806.18,"endTime":810.62,"body":"universal, and one of them is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":806.18,"endTime":810.62,"body":"feeling invested in, and he was"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":810.62,"endTime":813.74,"body":"talking about how nobody was"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":810.62,"endTime":813.74,"body":"investing him, in him anymore."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":813.8,"endTime":816.62,"body":"I just read, I"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":813.8,"endTime":816.62,"body":"can't remember, an article the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":816.86,"endTime":821.56,"body":"past few weeks, and it was at, I"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":816.86,"endTime":821.56,"body":"guess, sort of a gated"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":821.56,"endTime":825.52,"body":"retirement home somewhere in"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":821.56,"endTime":825.52,"body":"Florida. You know, very affluent"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":825.52,"endTime":830.62,"body":"folks. And speaker was coming in"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":825.52,"endTime":830.62,"body":"there and greeted by the guy who"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":830.62,"endTime":835.24,"body":"sort of smirked and said,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":830.62,"endTime":835.24,"body":"Welcome to the PIP club. And he"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":835.24,"endTime":842.94,"body":"said, Pip, pip previously"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":835.24,"endTime":842.94,"body":"important people. And one of the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":842.94,"endTime":847.38,"body":"things I really like about your"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":842.94,"endTime":847.38,"body":"book is you talk about and this"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":847.38,"endTime":850.62,"body":"really, again, builds so nicely"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":847.38,"endTime":850.62,"body":"on the the never enough and the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":850.62,"endTime":855.3,"body":"achievement culture, about all"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":850.62,"endTime":855.3,"body":"the different ways that we can"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":855.3,"endTime":858.9,"body":"matter. And to your point, about"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":855.3,"endTime":858.9,"body":"religion and capitalism, we tend"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":858.9,"endTime":863.48,"body":"to have the sense that people"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":858.9,"endTime":863.48,"body":"matter to the degree to which"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":863.48,"endTime":868.46,"body":"they can contribute towards"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":863.48,"endTime":868.46,"body":"valuable economic outcomes, and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":868.46,"endTime":872.66,"body":"that causes all manner of you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":868.46,"endTime":872.66,"body":"know, unhappiness and mental"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":872.66,"endTime":877.1,"body":"health and social dysfunction"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":872.66,"endTime":877.1,"body":"and family discord. So can you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":877.1,"endTime":880.36,"body":"walk us through, give us the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":877.1,"endTime":880.36,"body":"structure of what are the what"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":880.36,"endTime":884.32,"body":"are the ways that matter and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":880.36,"endTime":884.32,"body":"when we can go get nitty gritty"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":884.32,"endTime":886.54,"body":"after we go 30,000 foot Okay,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":886.54,"endTime":889.66,"body":"great, so to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":886.54,"endTime":889.66,"body":"define mattering simply for that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":889.9,"endTime":894.88,"body":"right, researchers define it as"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":889.9,"endTime":894.88,"body":"feeling valued for who we are,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":894.94,"endTime":898.24,"body":"not necessarily what we do,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":894.94,"endTime":898.24,"body":"feeling valued for who we are"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":898.3,"endTime":902.58,"body":"and having an opportunity. To"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":898.3,"endTime":902.58,"body":"add value back to the world"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":902.58,"endTime":908.4,"body":"around us, so feeling like we"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":902.58,"endTime":908.4,"body":"are valued by our family, by our"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":908.4,"endTime":911.7,"body":"friends, by our colleagues, by"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":908.4,"endTime":911.7,"body":"our community, and importantly,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":911.7,"endTime":917.04,"body":"by ourselves, and then having a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":911.7,"endTime":917.04,"body":"chance to add value back to all"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":917.04,"endTime":920.6,"body":"of those domains as well."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":917.04,"endTime":920.6,"body":"Researchers have been studying"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":920.6,"endTime":923.66,"body":"it since the 80s, and they've"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":920.6,"endTime":923.66,"body":"come up with sort of a list of"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":923.66,"endTime":926.66,"body":"ingredients, what, what goes"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":923.66,"endTime":926.66,"body":"into making someone feel like"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":926.66,"endTime":930.62,"body":"they matter? And I've organized"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":926.66,"endTime":930.62,"body":"it in my head around the said"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":930.62,"endTime":935.96,"body":"framework, s, a, i, d, which is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":930.62,"endTime":935.96,"body":"just an easy way of remembering"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":936.2,"endTime":940.78,"body":"the four main ingredients, and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":936.2,"endTime":940.78,"body":"that is feeling significant or"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":940.78,"endTime":947.32,"body":"important, feeling appreciated,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":940.78,"endTime":947.32,"body":"feeling invested in, and feeling"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":947.32,"endTime":951.34,"body":"depended on. So I could quickly"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":947.32,"endTime":951.34,"body":"go through those and give you an"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":951.46,"endTime":957.76,"body":"example. Okay, so for feeling"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":951.46,"endTime":957.76,"body":"significant, I was struck by how"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":957.76,"endTime":961.14,"body":"often in my interviews, when I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":957.76,"endTime":961.14,"body":"asked people, when do you feel"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":961.14,"endTime":964.5,"body":"like you matter? Or tell me a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":961.14,"endTime":964.5,"body":"memory of when you felt like you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":964.5,"endTime":969.18,"body":"mattered? It was never, you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":964.5,"endTime":969.18,"body":"know, a milestone birthday toast"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":969.42,"endTime":974.34,"body":"or an award at work. It was"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":969.42,"endTime":974.34,"body":"small moments. It was someone"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":974.34,"endTime":979.5,"body":"saving a seat for them at a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":974.34,"endTime":979.5,"body":"party, or it was a neighbor"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":979.5,"endTime":981.98,"body":"checking in when they hadn't"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":979.5,"endTime":981.98,"body":"seen them for a while just to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":981.98,"endTime":985.94,"body":"make sure everything was okay,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":981.98,"endTime":985.94,"body":"or a friend coming over when"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":985.94,"endTime":989.3,"body":"you're sick with a pot of soup."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":985.94,"endTime":989.3,"body":"Those are the feelings that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":989.3,"endTime":993.38,"body":"elicit a sense of mattering, the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":989.3,"endTime":993.38,"body":"idea that we are important to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":993.38,"endTime":997.7,"body":"the people in our life. So you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":993.38,"endTime":997.7,"body":"don't need to feel like a VIP,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":998.24,"endTime":1002.04,"body":"right? You need to feel"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":998.24,"endTime":1002.04,"body":"important to your you know, to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1002.04,"endTime":1006.42,"body":"your immediate circle, and to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1002.04,"endTime":1006.42,"body":"your colleagues and and that you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1006.42,"endTime":1009.9,"body":"you are known, you are seen, you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1006.42,"endTime":1009.9,"body":"are significant. That's what it"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1009.9,"endTime":1014.1,"body":"means to feel important. We are"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1009.9,"endTime":1014.1,"body":"as a species today, in this"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1014.1,"endTime":1019.14,"body":"modern world, we are starved for"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1014.1,"endTime":1019.14,"body":"signals of mattering. So I have"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1019.14,"endTime":1022.82,"body":"yet to meet one person that says"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1019.14,"endTime":1022.82,"body":"I fully feel like I matter in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1022.82,"endTime":1026.42,"body":"every domain in my life, I'm"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1022.82,"endTime":1026.42,"body":"great. No, I think we are. We"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1026.42,"endTime":1030.08,"body":"are constantly searching for"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1026.42,"endTime":1030.08,"body":"those signals and to be someone"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1030.08,"endTime":1034.58,"body":"who can offer that to somebody."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1030.08,"endTime":1034.58,"body":"It is a need just like water,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1034.58,"endTime":1039.38,"body":"just like food, just like"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1034.58,"endTime":1039.38,"body":"shelter. This need to matter is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1039.74,"endTime":1043.18,"body":"wired in us and essential to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1039.74,"endTime":1043.18,"body":"thrive well."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1043.18,"endTime":1044.8,"body":"And their point"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1043.18,"endTime":1044.8,"body":"about, you know, to be able to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1044.8,"endTime":1049.66,"body":"meet that your book has does"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1044.8,"endTime":1049.66,"body":"such a nice job of articulating"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1049.78,"endTime":1053.14,"body":"all the different places and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1049.78,"endTime":1053.14,"body":"ways, you know, big and small,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1053.14,"endTime":1057.22,"body":"that we can all do that. Do you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1053.14,"endTime":1057.22,"body":"know the parable about heaven"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1057.22,"endTime":1060.78,"body":"and hell on the banquet table?"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1057.22,"endTime":1060.78,"body":"No, so I don't know where I"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1060.78,"endTime":1064.02,"body":"stumbled on this. So in hell,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1060.78,"endTime":1064.02,"body":"everyone's down there this"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1064.08,"endTime":1067.98,"body":"massive banking table, every"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1064.08,"endTime":1067.98,"body":"possible delicious food delight"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1067.98,"endTime":1071.46,"body":"you can imagine. And there are"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1067.98,"endTime":1071.46,"body":"this row upon row of people on"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1071.46,"endTime":1077.28,"body":"benches, just ravenously hungry."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1071.46,"endTime":1077.28,"body":"And they have these enormous,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1077.34,"endTime":1080.04,"body":"you know, forks and spoons or"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1077.34,"endTime":1080.04,"body":"whatever you know, sort of"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1080.04,"endTime":1082.04,"body":"affixed to their arms. And"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1080.04,"endTime":1082.04,"body":"they're trying to pick this"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1082.04,"endTime":1085.46,"body":"stuff up and feed themselves,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1082.04,"endTime":1085.46,"body":"and it just, it just misses"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1085.46,"endTime":1088.04,"body":"their face, and they're just,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1085.46,"endTime":1088.04,"body":"they're beside themselves"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1088.4,"endTime":1090.56,"body":"because they're ravenous, and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1088.4,"endTime":1090.56,"body":"this food is there, and they"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1090.56,"endTime":1094.64,"body":"can't, it's Tantalus, and they"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1090.56,"endTime":1094.64,"body":"can't get it up a few floors in"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1094.64,"endTime":1098.06,"body":"heaven. It's the exact same"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1094.64,"endTime":1098.06,"body":"scene, and I've got this thing,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1098.12,"endTime":1102.04,"body":"but I'm reaching across the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1098.12,"endTime":1102.04,"body":"table to feed you, and you're"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1102.04,"endTime":1105.46,"body":"feeding me, and it's just chaos."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1102.04,"endTime":1105.46,"body":"I mean, we're all just stuffed"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1105.46,"endTime":1107.86,"body":"to the gills with all this food,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1105.46,"endTime":1107.86,"body":"and there's stuff all over face,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1107.86,"endTime":1111.82,"body":"and everyone's howling with"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1107.86,"endTime":1111.82,"body":"laughter as they nurture"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1112.36,"endTime":1115.72,"body":"one another."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1112.36,"endTime":1115.72,"body":"That should be earth, not just"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1115.72,"endTime":1116.62,"body":"heaven, right?"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1116.74,"endTime":1119.44,"body":"It's so Earth,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1116.74,"endTime":1119.44,"body":"because you talk about, I mean,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1119.44,"endTime":1122.88,"body":"how it is this, you know, kind"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1119.44,"endTime":1122.88,"body":"of virtuous cycle that, what was"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1122.88,"endTime":1126.3,"body":"the, what was the line from the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1122.88,"endTime":1126.3,"body":"end of the chapter? But Rehan?"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1126.3,"endTime":1130.2,"body":"Rehan, again, I mean correctly."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1126.3,"endTime":1130.2,"body":"What was the line about we are"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1130.2,"endTime":1133.44,"body":"strong because, not because I"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1130.2,"endTime":1133.44,"body":"pull myself up by my own"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1133.44,"endTime":1135.96,"body":"bootstraps, but we pull each"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1133.44,"endTime":1135.96,"body":"other up. Was that the line?"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1136.32,"endTime":1140.72,"body":"That's it. And"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1136.32,"endTime":1140.72,"body":"he said, I see no glory in being"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1140.72,"endTime":1146.12,"body":"a self made man, I I see the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1140.72,"endTime":1146.12,"body":"glory in having people in your"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1146.12,"endTime":1147.86,"body":"corner and investing in you."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1147.98,"endTime":1150.2,"body":"Can you tell his"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1147.98,"endTime":1150.2,"body":"story? Because I have an insight"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1150.2,"endTime":1155.18,"body":"about particularly his earliest"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1150.2,"endTime":1155.18,"body":"occupation. I just I adored, I"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1155.18,"endTime":1156.32,"body":"adored this young man."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1156.32,"endTime":1158.78,"body":"Can you? He's"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1156.32,"endTime":1158.78,"body":"an extraordinary human. He grew"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1158.78,"endTime":1165.64,"body":"up in Maryland, in the in the DC"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1158.78,"endTime":1165.64,"body":"area, he grew up with a single"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1165.64,"endTime":1169.96,"body":"dad. They were in poverty. There"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1165.64,"endTime":1169.96,"body":"was food a food scarcity issue."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1170.2,"endTime":1172.9,"body":"They couldn't afford heat"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1170.2,"endTime":1172.9,"body":"anyway. He struggled through"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1172.9,"endTime":1176.86,"body":"school, mostly because he was"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1172.9,"endTime":1176.86,"body":"exhausted having, you know, not"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1176.86,"endTime":1180.16,"body":"enough resources and high a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1176.86,"endTime":1180.16,"body":"scores, yep, basic needs"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1180.58,"endTime":1184.86,"body":"graduates and goes to work as a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1180.58,"endTime":1184.86,"body":"sanitation worker, and felt a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1184.86,"endTime":1187.44,"body":"real sense of pride in being"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1184.86,"endTime":1187.44,"body":"able to take care of his"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1187.44,"endTime":1191.04,"body":"community that way, but often"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1187.44,"endTime":1191.04,"body":"felt very invisible in that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1191.04,"endTime":1194.88,"body":"role, that the uniform somehow"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1191.04,"endTime":1194.88,"body":"made him invisible, not worthy"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1194.88,"endTime":1199.56,"body":"of recognition. He had people in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1194.88,"endTime":1199.56,"body":"his life, his dad, his his co"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1199.56,"endTime":1203.12,"body":"worker. Lawyers who encouraged"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1199.56,"endTime":1203.12,"body":"him to pursue his dream of going"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1203.12,"endTime":1206.72,"body":"to college. Fast forward, he"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1203.12,"endTime":1206.72,"body":"goes to college. Fast forward,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1206.72,"endTime":1210.44,"body":"he does really well in college,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1206.72,"endTime":1210.44,"body":"with the help of so many people"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1210.44,"endTime":1214.1,"body":"who lifted him up and supported"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1210.44,"endTime":1214.1,"body":"him, he gets into Harvard Law"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1214.1,"endTime":1217.46,"body":"School. He arrives at Harvard"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1214.1,"endTime":1217.46,"body":"Law School and he starts"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1217.46,"endTime":1222.1,"body":"noticing that the support staff"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1217.46,"endTime":1222.1,"body":"there, the custodians, people"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1222.1,"endTime":1226.54,"body":"working in the kitchen, the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1222.1,"endTime":1226.54,"body":"servers, that they were feeling"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1226.54,"endTime":1232.12,"body":"invisible to the people at the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1226.54,"endTime":1232.12,"body":"law school, and so he and his"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1232.24,"endTime":1236.26,"body":"classmates did something about"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1232.24,"endTime":1236.26,"body":"it. He held a celebration to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1236.26,"endTime":1239.86,"body":"honor them, to make these"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1236.26,"endTime":1239.86,"body":"invisible workers visible to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1239.86,"endTime":1242.94,"body":"everyone. He calls it. He"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1239.86,"endTime":1242.94,"body":"started a nonprofit called the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1242.94,"endTime":1246.78,"body":"reciprocity effect, which is the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1242.94,"endTime":1246.78,"body":"idea that we all need each other"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1247.14,"endTime":1250.44,"body":"and that we have a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1247.14,"endTime":1250.44,"body":"responsibility to acknowledge"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1250.44,"endTime":1254.28,"body":"each other and appreciate each"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1250.44,"endTime":1254.28,"body":"other. And so he used his"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1254.28,"endTime":1258.72,"body":"moments of invisibility to sort"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1254.28,"endTime":1258.72,"body":"of turn it around and help"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1258.78,"endTime":1261.8,"body":"others who might have been"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1258.78,"endTime":1261.8,"body":"feeling the same way. He's now"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1261.8,"endTime":1265.4,"body":"working in corporate law in New"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1261.8,"endTime":1265.4,"body":"York City. Wow."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1266.24,"endTime":1268.94,"body":"The two things that"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1266.24,"endTime":1268.94,"body":"were bouncing around inside my"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1268.94,"endTime":1273.5,"body":"head when I was reading about"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1268.94,"endTime":1273.5,"body":"him was one that for years I've"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1273.5,"endTime":1278.06,"body":"often reflected on what's the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1273.5,"endTime":1278.06,"body":"most significant job. And part"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1278.06,"endTime":1280.6,"body":"of this was born out when we"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1278.06,"endTime":1280.6,"body":"were writing the self driven"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1280.6,"endTime":1285.04,"body":"child I was, we had a staff"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1280.6,"endTime":1285.04,"body":"barbecue at my house, and I had"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1285.04,"endTime":1288.64,"body":"a young admin at the time who"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1285.04,"endTime":1288.64,"body":"came along with her with her"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1288.64,"endTime":1291.1,"body":"bow, and she was a second year"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1288.64,"endTime":1291.1,"body":"student at University of"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1291.1,"endTime":1294.64,"body":"Maryland. And so I asked him, so"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1291.1,"endTime":1294.64,"body":"are you at Maryland too, just"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1294.64,"endTime":1297.64,"body":"assuming that's where they'd"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1294.64,"endTime":1297.64,"body":"met? And he says, No. He says,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1297.64,"endTime":1302.16,"body":"No, I'm not. I'm not that smart."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1297.64,"endTime":1302.16,"body":"I'm not in college, and I, of"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1302.16,"endTime":1304.86,"body":"course, don't let things like"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1302.16,"endTime":1304.86,"body":"that sit so I circled back a"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1304.86,"endTime":1307.2,"body":"little bit later. Said, so, so"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1304.86,"endTime":1307.2,"body":"how do you how do you spend your"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1307.2,"endTime":1312.72,"body":"time? Well, I'm just an EMT, so"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1307.2,"endTime":1312.72,"body":"the line that we put in the self"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1312.72,"endTime":1317.52,"body":"driven child was Okay, so in the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1312.72,"endTime":1317.52,"body":"event of an emergency, do you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1317.52,"endTime":1321.2,"body":"want a, I'm a multiple choice"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1317.52,"endTime":1321.2,"body":"guy. A, a neuropsychologist, be"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1321.5,"endTime":1328.7,"body":"a test prep geek EMT, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1321.5,"endTime":1328.7,"body":"like, holy smokes. And you know,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1328.7,"endTime":1332.0,"body":"I got to thinking about that for"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1328.7,"endTime":1332.0,"body":"some while, about really,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1332.0,"endTime":1336.8,"body":"what's, what career, what job,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1332.0,"endTime":1336.8,"body":"what vocation, and the history"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1336.86,"endTime":1340.3,"body":"of humanity has been most"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1336.86,"endTime":1340.3,"body":"significant. Has saved the most"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1340.3,"endTime":1343.36,"body":"lives, and my two answers, and I"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1340.3,"endTime":1343.36,"body":"haven't actually looked this up,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1343.36,"endTime":1346.96,"body":"would probably be scientists,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1343.36,"endTime":1346.96,"body":"right? So, you know, penicillin"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1346.96,"endTime":1351.76,"body":"and whatever else, but also"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1346.96,"endTime":1351.76,"body":"sanitation. Because before I"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1351.76,"endTime":1354.46,"body":"mean all that, I mean when"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1351.76,"endTime":1354.46,"body":"sanitation falls apart, I mean"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1354.46,"endTime":1357.22,"body":"all the things that we would"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1354.46,"endTime":1357.22,"body":"quickly, you know, dysentery and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1357.22,"endTime":1362.46,"body":"anything else. And it may be the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1357.22,"endTime":1362.46,"body":"most potent, powerful, important"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1362.46,"endTime":1366.54,"body":"job in the world that is largely"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1362.46,"endTime":1366.54,"body":"unseen and not only thankless,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1366.54,"endTime":1370.08,"body":"but as you put out, wrote in the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1366.54,"endTime":1370.08,"body":"book, the mom walked by with his"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1370.08,"endTime":1373.68,"body":"two boys and said, Don't end up"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1370.08,"endTime":1373.68,"body":"like those men, and you're"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1373.68,"endTime":1376.68,"body":"sitting thinking you're"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1373.68,"endTime":1376.68,"body":"literally saving, knowingly or"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1376.68,"endTime":1379.14,"body":"not, 1000s of lives all The"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1376.68,"endTime":1379.14,"body":"time."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1379.8,"endTime":1382.28,"body":"Exactly, I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1379.8,"endTime":1382.28,"body":"couldn't agree with you more."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1382.52,"endTime":1384.92,"body":"So let's go back to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1382.52,"endTime":1384.92,"body":"your ingredients, and then so we"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1385.1,"endTime":1386.9,"body":"start with"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1385.1,"endTime":1386.9,"body":"significance, which we already"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1386.9,"endTime":1390.74,"body":"went over, appreciation. And"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1386.9,"endTime":1390.74,"body":"appreciation I've come to think"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1390.74,"endTime":1395.78,"body":"of is appreciating the doer"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1390.74,"endTime":1395.78,"body":"behind the deed. So let's say"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1395.78,"endTime":1401.02,"body":"you have, you know, a colleague"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1395.78,"endTime":1401.02,"body":"who always sets up happy hours"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1401.32,"endTime":1404.14,"body":"for the team, you could say to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1401.32,"endTime":1404.14,"body":"them, thank you so much for"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1404.14,"endTime":1407.74,"body":"another fun night. Or you could"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1404.14,"endTime":1407.74,"body":"appreciate them in a way that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1407.74,"endTime":1410.74,"body":"feeds a sense of mattering by"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1407.74,"endTime":1410.74,"body":"saying something like, you know"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1410.74,"endTime":1414.76,"body":"you are a community builder"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1410.74,"endTime":1414.76,"body":"because of you and your efforts."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1414.76,"endTime":1418.78,"body":"We are such a cohesive team. You"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1414.76,"endTime":1418.78,"body":"are extraordinary, and we are so"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1418.78,"endTime":1422.58,"body":"lucky to have you so"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1418.78,"endTime":1422.58,"body":"appreciating who the person is,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1422.58,"endTime":1426.24,"body":"not just what they do, is how we"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1422.58,"endTime":1426.24,"body":"feed mattering. The next"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1426.24,"endTime":1429.42,"body":"ingredient is investment, right?"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1426.24,"endTime":1429.42,"body":"It's what we were just talking"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1429.42,"endTime":1432.18,"body":"about, having having people"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1429.42,"endTime":1432.18,"body":"around us who are invested in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1432.18,"endTime":1435.6,"body":"our goals, who are there to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1432.18,"endTime":1435.6,"body":"support us through setbacks."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1435.84,"endTime":1438.84,"body":"It's the idea that we are not"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1435.84,"endTime":1438.84,"body":"going through this world alone,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1438.9,"endTime":1441.38,"body":"that we have people with us."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1438.9,"endTime":1441.38,"body":"There's a great study that I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1441.38,"endTime":1447.02,"body":"quote in the book about two"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1441.38,"endTime":1447.02,"body":"friends standing at a at a hill,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1447.56,"endTime":1450.86,"body":"researchers found that the hill"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1447.56,"endTime":1450.86,"body":"doesn't look as steep when"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1450.86,"endTime":1452.96,"body":"you're standing there with a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1450.86,"endTime":1452.96,"body":"friend versus when you're"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1452.96,"endTime":1457.1,"body":"standing there alone. Social"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1452.96,"endTime":1457.1,"body":"support is really it acts as a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1457.1,"endTime":1461.14,"body":"kind of buffer to life's"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1457.1,"endTime":1461.14,"body":"stressors. So it's having people"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1461.14,"endTime":1464.44,"body":"in your life that are invested"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1461.14,"endTime":1464.44,"body":"in you, and also having people"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1464.44,"endTime":1468.46,"body":"that you are invested in as"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1464.44,"endTime":1468.46,"body":"well. Researchers call that ego"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1468.46,"endTime":1471.88,"body":"extension, the idea that you can"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1468.46,"endTime":1471.88,"body":"extend your ego to include the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1471.88,"endTime":1475.84,"body":"egos of others, so that their"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1471.88,"endTime":1475.84,"body":"successes and joys become your"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1475.84,"endTime":1479.32,"body":"successes and joys. I mean, this"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1475.84,"endTime":1479.32,"body":"is something we talk about in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1479.38,"endTime":1482.76,"body":"our family all the time. Like, I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1479.38,"endTime":1482.76,"body":"think something like 70% of the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1482.76,"endTime":1487.02,"body":"joy I feel on any given day is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1482.76,"endTime":1487.02,"body":"because I am relishing and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1487.02,"endTime":1489.78,"body":"delighting in my friend's"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1487.02,"endTime":1489.78,"body":"successes."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1489.84,"endTime":1491.88,"body":"Wait and what was"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1489.84,"endTime":1491.88,"body":"the what was the term for that?"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1491.88,"endTime":1492.66,"body":"The Hindi term,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1492.9,"endTime":1496.08,"body":"go extension."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1492.9,"endTime":1496.08,"body":"Oh, I hope I'm saying it right."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1496.08,"endTime":1498.66,"body":"Mudita, I kept"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1496.08,"endTime":1498.66,"body":"googling this myself. Like,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1498.84,"endTime":1502.7,"body":"yeah, which is. Is just that,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1498.84,"endTime":1502.7,"body":"right, taking enjoyment from"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1502.7,"endTime":1503.9,"body":"other people's success,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1504.44,"endTime":1507.08,"body":"and it's"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1504.44,"endTime":1507.08,"body":"something that we are wired to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1507.08,"endTime":1512.24,"body":"do. I mean, we are wired to be"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1507.08,"endTime":1512.24,"body":"in community, to have pride in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1512.24,"endTime":1516.38,"body":"our group, in our band. It's"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1512.24,"endTime":1516.38,"body":"just in our zero sum culture"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1516.38,"endTime":1519.86,"body":"that that idea gets beaten out"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1516.38,"endTime":1519.86,"body":"of us. But I'm here to say, take"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1519.86,"endTime":1524.68,"body":"it back. Enjoy it. It's an"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1519.86,"endTime":1524.68,"body":"incredible source of joy and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1524.68,"endTime":1525.34,"body":"delight."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1525.34,"endTime":1527.68,"body":"Well, I mean, gosh,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1525.34,"endTime":1527.68,"body":"I mean, you know, I have an"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1527.68,"endTime":1532.06,"body":"identical twin brother who is"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1527.68,"endTime":1532.06,"body":"wired that same way that you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1532.06,"endTime":1535.78,"body":"mentioned that you are, that he"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1532.06,"endTime":1535.78,"body":"just takes such he just, he"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1535.78,"endTime":1540.96,"body":"said, Why? Why would I not? He"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1535.78,"endTime":1540.96,"body":"said, and if I can take joy and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1540.96,"endTime":1544.32,"body":"delight and happiness from the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1540.96,"endTime":1544.32,"body":"other people's success. It's"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1544.32,"endTime":1545.28,"body":"boundless, right?"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1545.34,"endTime":1548.58,"body":"It's"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1545.34,"endTime":1548.58,"body":"boundless. And I have to say, if"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1548.58,"endTime":1551.7,"body":"you're maybe listening and you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1548.58,"endTime":1551.7,"body":"haven't really thought about it,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1551.7,"endTime":1555.78,"body":"start, start doing it. Start"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1551.7,"endTime":1555.78,"body":"taking an interest in your"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1555.78,"endTime":1558.48,"body":"friends goals, asking them, you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1555.78,"endTime":1558.48,"body":"know, what are they working"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1558.48,"endTime":1561.92,"body":"towards, and then check in on"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1558.48,"endTime":1561.92,"body":"them. Really, that delight comes"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1561.92,"endTime":1566.72,"body":"not just from bearing witness to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1561.92,"endTime":1566.72,"body":"it, but actually being invested"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1566.72,"endTime":1570.2,"body":"in their success. So I think a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1566.72,"endTime":1570.2,"body":"lot of the joy I get is because"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1570.2,"endTime":1574.94,"body":"I take my friends goals like my"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1570.2,"endTime":1574.94,"body":"own, I add them to my own to do"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1574.94,"endTime":1578.12,"body":"list. I'm thinking about them."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1574.94,"endTime":1578.12,"body":"Who can I introduce them to? How"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1578.12,"endTime":1581.2,"body":"can we position this better? How"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1578.12,"endTime":1581.2,"body":"can I help them build on what"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1581.2,"endTime":1585.1,"body":"they're already building? And so"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1581.2,"endTime":1585.1,"body":"because I'm investing in it, I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1585.1,"endTime":1587.5,"body":"also feel their success. Does"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1585.1,"endTime":1587.5,"body":"that make sense?"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1587.5,"endTime":1589.84,"body":"Yeah, yeah. I love"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1587.5,"endTime":1589.84,"body":"that story about with your was"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1589.84,"endTime":1593.08,"body":"it I may be conflated them with"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1589.84,"endTime":1593.08,"body":"your friend Katie before she"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1593.08,"endTime":1595.9,"body":"passed, and how you would mutual"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1593.08,"endTime":1595.9,"body":"goals. And, okay, no, but no,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1595.9,"endTime":1598.72,"body":"but how you doing with this?"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1595.9,"endTime":1598.72,"body":"Tell me, Jenny, are you pushing"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1598.72,"endTime":1601.5,"body":"that? Are you? You know, it's"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1598.72,"endTime":1601.5,"body":"pretty neat holding each other"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1601.5,"endTime":1605.34,"body":"accountable. I did smirk a"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1601.5,"endTime":1605.34,"body":"little bit, though, when you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1605.34,"endTime":1608.16,"body":"said that your love language was"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1605.34,"endTime":1608.16,"body":"honest feedback."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1608.76,"endTime":1611.22,"body":"It really is."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1608.76,"endTime":1611.22,"body":"I have to tell you, it's always"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1611.22,"endTime":1616.32,"body":"been when people you know give"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1611.22,"endTime":1616.32,"body":"me compliments. That's lovely,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1616.32,"endTime":1619.86,"body":"yeah, but that doesn't feel like"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1616.32,"endTime":1619.86,"body":"investment. So it's the people"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1619.86,"endTime":1624.92,"body":"in my life, who are willing to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1619.86,"endTime":1624.92,"body":"tell me what I need to hear that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1625.22,"endTime":1629.36,"body":"I feel like they are. They have"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1625.22,"endTime":1629.36,"body":"skin in the game. They are"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1629.36,"endTime":1634.52,"body":"taking a small risk. Yeah, make"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1629.36,"endTime":1634.52,"body":"me better. Now, I don't take the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1634.52,"endTime":1639.26,"body":"criticism from people I don't"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1634.52,"endTime":1639.26,"body":"appreciate or necessarily want"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1639.26,"endTime":1643.42,"body":"their feedback, but I ask my"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1639.26,"endTime":1643.42,"body":"friends, I mean, I have early"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1643.42,"endTime":1647.38,"body":"readers for my books, and I say"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1643.42,"endTime":1647.38,"body":"to them, here's what I need you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1647.38,"endTime":1650.86,"body":"to be reading for, and I'm"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1647.38,"endTime":1650.86,"body":"really specific, and I want that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1650.86,"endTime":1655.66,"body":"feedback. And I am so lucky that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1650.86,"endTime":1655.66,"body":"I have friends who are, you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1655.66,"endTime":1658.3,"body":"know, the way they look at it"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1655.66,"endTime":1658.3,"body":"is, you know, we want to make"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1658.3,"endTime":1662.94,"body":"you fire proof. We want to make"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1658.3,"endTime":1662.94,"body":"this book fireproof, so that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1662.94,"endTime":1666.78,"body":"people aren't poking holes in it"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1662.94,"endTime":1666.78,"body":"and getting confused by the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1666.78,"endTime":1671.22,"body":"argument like we want this to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1666.78,"endTime":1671.22,"body":"be, to land in people's laps and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1671.22,"endTime":1674.46,"body":"be the strongest thing it could"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1671.22,"endTime":1674.46,"body":"be. And so that to me is it"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1674.88,"endTime":1678.24,"body":"truly is my love language,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1674.88,"endTime":1678.24,"body":"investing in me, giving me"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1678.3,"endTime":1682.46,"body":"feedback, helping me get better."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1678.3,"endTime":1682.46,"body":"There's no greater investment in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1682.46,"endTime":1687.14,"body":"my mind than that. And then the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1682.46,"endTime":1687.14,"body":"last ingredient is feeling"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1687.14,"endTime":1691.7,"body":"dependent on is having people"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1687.14,"endTime":1691.7,"body":"who depend on you and rely on"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1691.7,"endTime":1696.26,"body":"you, who make you feel like the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1691.7,"endTime":1696.26,"body":"world would be less good if you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1696.26,"endTime":1700.04,"body":"weren't around that you are an"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1696.26,"endTime":1700.04,"body":"essential piece of this puzzle"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1700.04,"endTime":1703.9,"body":"of life, and also, you know,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1700.04,"endTime":1703.9,"body":"being vulnerable enough to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1704.02,"endTime":1708.58,"body":"depend and rely on others too,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1704.02,"endTime":1708.58,"body":"letting them in so that you can"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1708.58,"endTime":1709.24,"body":"depend on them."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1709.239,"endTime":1711.279,"body":"I forget who did"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1709.239,"endTime":1711.279,"body":"the research, but a beautiful"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1711.279,"endTime":1715.359,"body":"story in there about a mental"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1711.279,"endTime":1715.359,"body":"subtraction exercise that I"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1715.359,"endTime":1718.419,"body":"never thought about this way."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1715.359,"endTime":1718.419,"body":"And I could you talk about that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1718.66,"endTime":1722.58,"body":"a meditation"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1718.66,"endTime":1722.58,"body":"researchers developed this, this"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1722.58,"endTime":1727.8,"body":"meditation, which is the idea of"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1722.58,"endTime":1727.8,"body":"thinking about someone important"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1727.8,"endTime":1732.0,"body":"in your life, maybe a spouse,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1727.8,"endTime":1732.0,"body":"maybe a best friend. Think about"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1732.24,"endTime":1738.3,"body":"how you met them. Think about"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1732.24,"endTime":1738.3,"body":"because of that, meeting you,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1738.42,"endTime":1741.68,"body":"all of the things that have"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1738.42,"endTime":1741.68,"body":"benefited you in your life. So"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1741.68,"endTime":1745.28,"body":"let's say it's a partner, a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1741.68,"endTime":1745.28,"body":"romantic partner, because you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1745.28,"endTime":1750.14,"body":"met them, you got married, maybe"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1745.28,"endTime":1750.14,"body":"you had children, you built a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1750.14,"endTime":1754.34,"body":"home together, you built a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1750.14,"endTime":1754.34,"body":"circle of friends, you built"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1754.34,"endTime":1759.32,"body":"memories. Their family became"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1754.34,"endTime":1759.32,"body":"your family. Your family became"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1759.32,"endTime":1763.06,"body":"their family. So really thinking"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1759.32,"endTime":1763.06,"body":"about all the ways that could"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1763.06,"endTime":1769.0,"body":"have not happened had you not"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1763.06,"endTime":1769.0,"body":"gone to that party, had you not"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1769.06,"endTime":1774.46,"body":"agreed to that blind date, then"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1769.06,"endTime":1774.46,"body":"imagine those things didn't"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1774.46,"endTime":1780.04,"body":"happen. Imagine you didn't go on"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1774.46,"endTime":1780.04,"body":"that blind date. Imagine all of"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1780.04,"endTime":1783.72,"body":"the benefits you got from that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1780.04,"endTime":1783.72,"body":"relationship have been taken"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1783.72,"endTime":1789.42,"body":"away, and so then the Guide"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1783.72,"endTime":1789.42,"body":"brings you back, and they say,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1789.42,"endTime":1794.46,"body":"Okay, now go back. Go back. Know"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1789.42,"endTime":1794.46,"body":"that this did happen, and now"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1794.46,"endTime":1798.78,"body":"fully appreciate all of the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1794.46,"endTime":1798.78,"body":"gifts that this relationship"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1798.78,"endTime":1803.9,"body":"brought to your life. So what it"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1798.78,"endTime":1803.9,"body":"is is a way of building up"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1803.9,"endTime":1809.0,"body":"gratitude, yeah, and a feeling"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1803.9,"endTime":1809.0,"body":"of appreciation for people in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1809.0,"endTime":1810.98,"body":"your life that you might take"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1809.0,"endTime":1810.98,"body":"for granted."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1811.52,"endTime":1814.04,"body":"I'm, you can see"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1811.52,"endTime":1814.04,"body":"I'm tearing up and around my"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1814.04,"endTime":1817.64,"body":"wife, and when just even now as"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1814.04,"endTime":1817.64,"body":"you're telling that I'm sort of,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1819.38,"endTime":1823.48,"body":"I adored that, and I've also"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1819.38,"endTime":1823.48,"body":"really liked where you situated"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1823.48,"endTime":1829.18,"body":"it in the book, if I recall, it"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1823.48,"endTime":1829.18,"body":"was around the two women. Was it"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1829.18,"endTime":1832.9,"body":"Lori and Catherine, who were"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1829.18,"endTime":1832.9,"body":"going to have a party, and then"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1833.26,"endTime":1834.82,"body":"everyone ditched."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1836.68,"endTime":1840.04,"body":"It actually"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1836.68,"endTime":1840.04,"body":"was a married couple that had"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1840.04,"endTime":1845.04,"body":"lost their spark and were more"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1840.04,"endTime":1845.04,"body":"like roommates, but you're"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1845.04,"endTime":1850.86,"body":"talking about friends who had"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1845.04,"endTime":1850.86,"body":"been experiencing this flake"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1850.86,"endTime":1854.58,"body":"culture in their friend group,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1850.86,"endTime":1854.58,"body":"where every time they would make"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1854.58,"endTime":1859.38,"body":"plans, people would flake. And"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1854.58,"endTime":1859.38,"body":"Lori also was somebody who would"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1859.38,"endTime":1861.98,"body":"flake that coming out of covid,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1859.38,"endTime":1861.98,"body":"everybody normalized, staying"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1861.98,"endTime":1866.18,"body":"home, you know, not fighting"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1861.98,"endTime":1866.18,"body":"through the cold or"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1866.18,"endTime":1869.96,"body":"uncomfortable feelings that that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1866.18,"endTime":1869.96,"body":"Tech had made life so"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1869.96,"endTime":1874.04,"body":"frictionless and so their"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1869.96,"endTime":1874.04,"body":"friendships had really hollowed"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1874.04,"endTime":1877.16,"body":"out because they didn't"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1874.04,"endTime":1877.16,"body":"prioritize them. And then Lori"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1877.16,"endTime":1880.12,"body":"decided she wanted to start"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1877.16,"endTime":1880.12,"body":"prioritizing showing up for her"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1880.12,"endTime":1885.52,"body":"friends. And I will say, in my"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1880.12,"endTime":1885.52,"body":"own life, I would say the number"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1885.58,"endTime":1888.7,"body":"one thing that has made my"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1885.58,"endTime":1888.7,"body":"friendships so deep and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1888.7,"endTime":1894.1,"body":"nourishing is a personal policy"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1888.7,"endTime":1894.1,"body":"that I have, which is, I don't"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1894.1,"endTime":1901.32,"body":"cancel plans on friends unless"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1894.1,"endTime":1901.32,"body":"I'm sick. And that one small"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1901.86,"endTime":1906.54,"body":"personal policy sends the signal"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1901.86,"endTime":1906.54,"body":"to my friends that they matter"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1906.54,"endTime":1910.68,"body":"to me, that they are a priority"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1906.54,"endTime":1910.68,"body":"in my life, that they are worthy"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1910.68,"endTime":1914.52,"body":"of my time and investment. And"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1910.68,"endTime":1914.52,"body":"because of that, because they"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1914.52,"endTime":1920.36,"body":"feel like a priority, it sets up"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1914.52,"endTime":1920.36,"body":"the conditions that allow us to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1920.36,"endTime":1924.26,"body":"be vulnerable with each other."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1920.36,"endTime":1924.26,"body":"So if you know that your friend"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1924.26,"endTime":1929.9,"body":"is going to show up for you,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1924.26,"endTime":1929.9,"body":"barring being sick, you go into"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1929.9,"endTime":1934.46,"body":"that meeting feeling like a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1929.9,"endTime":1934.46,"body":"priority and primed for deeper"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1934.52,"endTime":1935.96,"body":"connection I have,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1935.96,"endTime":1938.12,"body":"kicking around the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1935.96,"endTime":1938.12,"body":"bouncing around the back of my"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1938.12,"endTime":1941.8,"body":"head a guy named Frank Martella."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1938.12,"endTime":1941.8,"body":"Did you ever stumble? Do you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1941.8,"endTime":1947.14,"body":"know Frank Martella? So he's a"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1941.8,"endTime":1947.14,"body":"finisher, right? And he has a"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1947.14,"endTime":1953.2,"body":"book called A Wonderful Life."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1947.14,"endTime":1953.2,"body":"And his tagline is very, very"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1953.2,"endTime":1957.52,"body":"similar to where you're thinking"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1953.2,"endTime":1957.52,"body":"in your book as well, where he"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1957.52,"endTime":1960.84,"body":"says, the meaning of life is"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1957.52,"endTime":1960.84,"body":"doing work that makes you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1960.84,"endTime":1964.14,"body":"meaningful to other people. So"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1960.84,"endTime":1964.14,"body":"this work that's meaningful to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1964.14,"endTime":1967.14,"body":"you, that makes you meaningful"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1964.14,"endTime":1967.14,"body":"to other other people. And so"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1967.14,"endTime":1970.98,"body":"his book is called a wonderful"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1967.14,"endTime":1970.98,"body":"life. And so when I got to that"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1970.98,"endTime":1974.88,"body":"mental subtraction meditation"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1970.98,"endTime":1974.88,"body":"that you talk about, and again,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1974.88,"endTime":1978.36,"body":"as you were so eloquently"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1974.88,"endTime":1978.36,"body":"describing it right now, I just"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1978.36,"endTime":1981.26,"body":"picture, you know, you know,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1978.36,"endTime":1981.26,"body":"Jimmy Stewart at the, you know,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1981.26,"endTime":1983.6,"body":"at the end of a wonderful life,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1981.26,"endTime":1983.6,"body":"and if you weren't there, and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1983.6,"endTime":1988.4,"body":"how everything fell apart, you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1983.6,"endTime":1988.4,"body":"know, without him, like, oh my"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1988.52,"endTime":1992.78,"body":"god, you know George, George. We"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1988.52,"endTime":1992.78,"body":"need to, everybody needs to be"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":1992.78,"endTime":1993.5,"body":"like, George, right?"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1994.16,"endTime":1996.62,"body":"It's true. We"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1994.16,"endTime":1996.62,"body":"need to feel like this world"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1996.62,"endTime":1999.8,"body":"would be less good if we weren't"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1996.62,"endTime":1999.8,"body":"here, right? That is what it is."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1999.8,"endTime":2003.96,"body":"Noted absence, is how"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":1999.8,"endTime":2003.96,"body":"researchers refer to it. And you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2003.96,"endTime":2006.12,"body":"know, the way I think of it,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2003.96,"endTime":2006.12,"body":"which is similar to, I'm"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2006.12,"endTime":2008.28,"body":"blanking on the philosopher's"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2006.12,"endTime":2008.28,"body":"name right now that you just"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2008.28,"endTime":2008.7,"body":"mentioned"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2008.699,"endTime":2012.659,"body":"hella, he's cool,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2008.699,"endTime":2012.659,"body":"like he's off the just hopped"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2012.659,"endTime":2015.119,"body":"off the set of the Partridge"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2012.659,"endTime":2015.119,"body":"Family. If you ever look at"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2015.119,"endTime":2016.979,"body":"pictures of him, it's It's"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2015.119,"endTime":2016.979,"body":"remarkable."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2017.76,"endTime":2019.92,"body":"So the way I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2017.76,"endTime":2019.92,"body":"think of it, which is very"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2019.92,"endTime":2023.12,"body":"parallel, I think, to what he's"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2019.92,"endTime":2023.12,"body":"saying in that quote you just"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2023.12,"endTime":2028.76,"body":"said, is that when it comes to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2023.12,"endTime":2028.76,"body":"mattering, it is knowing the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2028.76,"endTime":2034.88,"body":"value that you have and that you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2028.76,"endTime":2034.88,"body":"can bring to others, and that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2034.88,"endTime":2041.08,"body":"the more you add value, the more"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2034.88,"endTime":2041.08,"body":"meaningful your Life becomes. So"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2041.14,"endTime":2045.4,"body":"I he and I are very aligned. I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2041.14,"endTime":2045.4,"body":"believe that the meaning of life"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2046.24,"endTime":2051.76,"body":"is to matter, is to add value to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2046.24,"endTime":2051.76,"body":"the world around you. And what I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2051.76,"endTime":2054.52,"body":"know from the research and from"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2051.76,"endTime":2054.52,"body":"my own life and from living"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2054.52,"endTime":2057.94,"body":"mattering for the past seven"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2054.52,"endTime":2057.94,"body":"years is that when I add value,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2058.24,"endTime":2064.14,"body":"I feel valued. So it becomes"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2058.24,"endTime":2064.14,"body":"this positive, upward spiral. So"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2064.14,"endTime":2068.04,"body":"if there is somebody listening"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2064.14,"endTime":2068.04,"body":"right now who is maybe going"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2068.04,"endTime":2070.44,"body":"through a painful life"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2068.04,"endTime":2070.44,"body":"transition and doesn't feel like"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2070.44,"endTime":2073.8,"body":"they matter as much anymore,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2070.44,"endTime":2073.8,"body":"maybe they've lost a job, maybe"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2073.8,"endTime":2077.58,"body":"they've lost a loved one, maybe"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2073.8,"endTime":2077.58,"body":"they've moved and they've left"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2077.58,"endTime":2083.06,"body":"behind friends, I want to say"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2077.58,"endTime":2083.06,"body":"you are one decision and one"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2083.06,"endTime":2088.58,"body":"step away from mattering again,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2083.06,"endTime":2088.58,"body":"and that's the fastest way to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2088.58,"endTime":2093.38,"body":"feel like you matter is to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2088.58,"endTime":2093.38,"body":"remind someone else why they do."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2093.62,"endTime":2098.18,"body":"Wow. My thoughts"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2093.62,"endTime":2098.18,"body":"drifted to gratitude practices."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2098.839,"endTime":2101.679,"body":"Gratitude is."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2098.839,"endTime":2101.679,"body":"Is, I think the best coping"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2101.679,"endTime":2106.719,"body":"strategy that we have in life,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2101.679,"endTime":2106.719,"body":"that we gratitude allows us to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2106.719,"endTime":2109.839,"body":"see a challenge in front of us,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2106.719,"endTime":2109.839,"body":"not to deny the challenge, not"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2109.839,"endTime":2113.799,"body":"to say that what you're going"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2109.839,"endTime":2113.799,"body":"through is not hard, it is hard,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2114.099,"endTime":2119.019,"body":"but gratitude helps you open the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2114.099,"endTime":2119.019,"body":"lens so that you can still take"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2119.019,"endTime":2122.099,"body":"in the good. And that is the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2119.019,"endTime":2122.099,"body":"same thing with mattering,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2122.279,"endTime":2126.959,"body":"right? If there's an area you go"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2122.279,"endTime":2126.959,"body":"through a painful divorce and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2126.959,"endTime":2130.859,"body":"you're focused on that, but you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2126.959,"endTime":2130.859,"body":"can still open your lens and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2130.859,"endTime":2135.239,"body":"realize that you have value to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2130.859,"endTime":2135.239,"body":"add to this world. And not only"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2135.719,"endTime":2139.619,"body":"do you have value to add, I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2135.719,"endTime":2139.619,"body":"would argue, as a human being,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2139.859,"endTime":2144.139,"body":"we have a responsibility to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2139.859,"endTime":2144.139,"body":"matter on this earth."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2145.82,"endTime":2150.26,"body":"I'd love to talk a"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2145.82,"endTime":2150.26,"body":"little bit about kids and turn"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2150.26,"endTime":2154.4,"body":"this conversation back towards"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2150.26,"endTime":2154.4,"body":"the high school set. You know,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2154.4,"endTime":2159.74,"body":"your book never enough. Really"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2154.4,"endTime":2159.74,"body":"expanded on that research from"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2159.74,"endTime":2162.64,"body":"the Robert Wood Johnson"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2159.74,"endTime":2162.64,"body":"Foundation about the causes of"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2162.64,"endTime":2165.88,"body":"stress in young people's lives,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2162.64,"endTime":2165.88,"body":"that after poverty, trauma and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2165.88,"endTime":2168.88,"body":"discrimination, the next one was"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2165.88,"endTime":2168.88,"body":"excessive pressure to Excel that"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2168.88,"endTime":2172.9,"body":"you can talk about so"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2168.88,"endTime":2172.9,"body":"eloquently. And it just strikes"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2172.9,"endTime":2176.56,"body":"me that I'm not sure that we're"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2172.9,"endTime":2176.56,"body":"we haven't moved the needle much"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2176.56,"endTime":2180.9,"body":"in that way yet, and that for"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2176.56,"endTime":2180.9,"body":"young person, if you feel like"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2181.38,"endTime":2184.8,"body":"your job is to identify the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2181.38,"endTime":2184.8,"body":"hoops that need jumping through"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2184.8,"endTime":2188.22,"body":"and become a really good jumper"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2184.8,"endTime":2188.22,"body":"of hoops. Then you'll get"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2188.46,"endTime":2192.54,"body":"approval from peers, parents,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2188.46,"endTime":2192.54,"body":"you know, college admissions"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2192.96,"endTime":2196.62,"body":"folks, whether or not it matters"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2192.96,"endTime":2196.62,"body":"to you at all. I mean, it's"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2196.62,"endTime":2200.6,"body":"completely externalized locus of"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2196.62,"endTime":2200.6,"body":"control, right? You know, as a"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2200.66,"endTime":2204.92,"body":"parent yourself, how do you talk"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2200.66,"endTime":2204.92,"body":"to other parents and help them"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2204.92,"endTime":2208.82,"body":"balance? And for young people"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2204.92,"endTime":2208.82,"body":"themselves, how how they can"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2208.82,"endTime":2212.12,"body":"find the balance of meeting the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2208.82,"endTime":2212.12,"body":"demands or expectations so they"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2212.12,"endTime":2216.08,"body":"can, you know, get the college"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2212.12,"endTime":2216.08,"body":"admissions that they want, but"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2216.08,"endTime":2220.54,"body":"do it in a way that allows them"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2216.08,"endTime":2220.54,"body":"to feel that it's not utterly"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2220.54,"endTime":2223.3,"body":"meaningless, that everything in"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2220.54,"endTime":2223.3,"body":"their life is not simply a means"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2223.3,"endTime":2223.84,"body":"to that end."},{"speaker":"Unknown","startTime":2224.92,"endTime":2225.94,"body":"So I've, I have a"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2225.94,"endTime":2227.86,"body":"lot of"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2225.94,"endTime":2227.86,"body":"thoughts on this, a few that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2227.86,"endTime":2231.34,"body":"I'll offer here, because we only"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2227.86,"endTime":2231.34,"body":"have a few more minutes. Is this"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2231.34,"endTime":2236.62,"body":"idea of clean fuel versus dirty"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2231.34,"endTime":2236.62,"body":"fuel. So, and this is true for"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2236.62,"endTime":2239.26,"body":"kids, and this is true for"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2236.62,"endTime":2239.26,"body":"employees and these this is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2239.26,"endTime":2244.38,"body":"true, really, of everybody in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2239.26,"endTime":2244.38,"body":"life that we can be motivated"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2244.86,"endTime":2250.08,"body":"with dirty fuel, which is fear,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2244.86,"endTime":2250.08,"body":"which is criticism, which is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2250.08,"endTime":2255.36,"body":"feeling like you are only"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2250.08,"endTime":2255.36,"body":"lovable, if or and by the way,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2255.36,"endTime":2258.06,"body":"that might get your child to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2255.36,"endTime":2258.06,"body":"study for their Spanish quiz,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2258.06,"endTime":2263.18,"body":"but over Time, that dirty fuel"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2258.06,"endTime":2263.18,"body":"is going to clog their engine,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2263.66,"endTime":2268.04,"body":"and what I saw in my reporting"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2263.66,"endTime":2268.04,"body":"for never enough is that they"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2268.04,"endTime":2271.94,"body":"will burn out or they will turn"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2268.04,"endTime":2271.94,"body":"against themselves when they are"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2271.94,"endTime":2275.9,"body":"not successful with that dirty"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2271.94,"endTime":2275.9,"body":"fuel versus clean fuel. And"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2275.9,"endTime":2279.68,"body":"clean fuel is rooted in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2275.9,"endTime":2279.68,"body":"mattering. Clean Fuel is the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2279.68,"endTime":2283.66,"body":"idea. And I know this sounds"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2279.68,"endTime":2283.66,"body":"counterintuitive, but stick with"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2283.66,"endTime":2289.06,"body":"me. Clean Fuel is this idea that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2283.66,"endTime":2289.06,"body":"you are not your successes and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2289.06,"endTime":2293.5,"body":"you are not your failures, that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2289.06,"endTime":2293.5,"body":"you are you unconditionally, and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2293.5,"endTime":2299.86,"body":"it is the secure knowledge that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2293.5,"endTime":2299.86,"body":"you are lovable and loved no"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2299.86,"endTime":2306.0,"body":"matter what that actually primes"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2299.86,"endTime":2306.0,"body":"students and adults to reach for"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2306.0,"endTime":2310.32,"body":"the very high goals that you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2306.0,"endTime":2310.32,"body":"will need to reach for in order"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2310.32,"endTime":2315.06,"body":"to be successful. So if you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2310.32,"endTime":2315.06,"body":"believe that your value is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2315.06,"endTime":2319.02,"body":"contingent on performance, you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2315.06,"endTime":2319.02,"body":"will perform, and then you will"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2319.02,"endTime":2323.66,"body":"get to a point where I don't"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2319.02,"endTime":2323.66,"body":"know if I can do this, and the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2323.66,"endTime":2330.44,"body":"risk of missing and failing is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2323.66,"endTime":2330.44,"body":"the risk of feeling your worth"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2330.5,"endTime":2335.66,"body":"is has collapsed. And so what I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2330.5,"endTime":2335.66,"body":"found among the healthy strivers"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2335.66,"endTime":2339.2,"body":"that I interviewed in the book"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2335.66,"endTime":2339.2,"body":"and their families was that it"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2339.2,"endTime":2342.16,"body":"was because they felt like they"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2339.2,"endTime":2342.16,"body":"mattered no matter what that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2342.16,"endTime":2347.14,"body":"these healthy strivers were able"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2342.16,"endTime":2347.14,"body":"to reach for high goals because"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2347.14,"endTime":2350.38,"body":"they knew that their parents"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2347.14,"endTime":2350.38,"body":"would love them and support them"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2350.38,"endTime":2353.5,"body":"through setbacks and failures."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2350.38,"endTime":2353.5,"body":"And you and I both know that"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2353.5,"endTime":2357.82,"body":"there is no pathway to success,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2353.5,"endTime":2357.82,"body":"sustainable success that does"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2357.82,"endTime":2363.36,"body":"not draw lots of setbacks, lots"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2357.82,"endTime":2363.36,"body":"of you know so, so what I've"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2363.36,"endTime":2367.62,"body":"come to realize as parents is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2363.36,"endTime":2367.62,"body":"that in this achievement culture"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2367.74,"endTime":2370.98,"body":"where our kids are fed these"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2367.74,"endTime":2370.98,"body":"messages that you need to do"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2370.98,"endTime":2373.62,"body":"more and more, that you're never"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2370.98,"endTime":2373.62,"body":"enough, that you're only as good"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2373.62,"endTime":2377.94,"body":"as your next goal, that we"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2373.62,"endTime":2377.94,"body":"parents play a particularly"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2377.94,"endTime":2382.04,"body":"important role, and That is to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2377.94,"endTime":2382.04,"body":"convince our children of their"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2382.04,"endTime":2387.56,"body":"worth outside the system, and in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2382.04,"endTime":2387.56,"body":"doing that, in letting them know"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2387.56,"endTime":2391.28,"body":"we love them unconditionally and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2387.56,"endTime":2391.28,"body":"living that now, it doesn't mean"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2391.28,"endTime":2394.16,"body":"not having expectations, right,"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2391.28,"endTime":2394.16,"body":"right, right, because to feel"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2394.16,"endTime":2396.62,"body":"like you matter to your parents"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2394.16,"endTime":2396.62,"body":"means that your parents are"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2396.62,"endTime":2399.92,"body":"invested in you. They believe in"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2396.62,"endTime":2399.92,"body":"you. They hold you accountable."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2400.24,"endTime":2406.06,"body":"Fuel, but it is not tied to love"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2400.24,"endTime":2406.06,"body":"or to regard that you love them."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2406.06,"endTime":2409.3,"body":"You regard them. You adore them"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2406.06,"endTime":2409.3,"body":"no matter what. You don't always"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2409.3,"endTime":2412.18,"body":"love the behavior. You don't do"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2409.3,"endTime":2412.18,"body":"something wrong. You don't love"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2412.18,"endTime":2416.02,"body":"the behavior, but you always"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2412.18,"endTime":2416.02,"body":"love them. So clean fuel is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2416.02,"endTime":2420.6,"body":"separating the deed from the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2416.02,"endTime":2420.6,"body":"doer, and dirty fuel is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2420.6,"endTime":2425.28,"body":"conflating the two that you are"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2420.6,"endTime":2425.28,"body":"what you do. There's this great"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2425.28,"endTime":2429.06,"body":"theologian, Henry now in who"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2425.28,"endTime":2429.06,"body":"talks about the three great lies"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2429.06,"endTime":2435.6,"body":"of society. I am what I do. I am"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2429.06,"endTime":2435.6,"body":"what I have. I am what people"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2435.6,"endTime":2441.32,"body":"say and think about me. That is"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2435.6,"endTime":2441.32,"body":"dirty fuel. That is what holds"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2441.32,"endTime":2445.82,"body":"us back in our relationships. It"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2441.32,"endTime":2445.82,"body":"holds us back in success, and it"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2445.82,"endTime":2450.26,"body":"negatively impacts our well"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2445.82,"endTime":2450.26,"body":"being and mental health so well"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2450.26,"endTime":2453.56,"body":"said, pointing these things out"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2450.26,"endTime":2453.56,"body":"to our kids, pointing out the"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2453.56,"endTime":2457.88,"body":"lies in our culture, and giving"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2453.56,"endTime":2457.88,"body":"them these counter cultural"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2457.88,"endTime":2462.46,"body":"messages and living them and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2457.88,"endTime":2462.46,"body":"when we inevitably fail as"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2462.46,"endTime":2466.36,"body":"parents, to be quick to repair"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2462.46,"endTime":2466.36,"body":"and to be quick to say, You know"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2466.36,"endTime":2469.72,"body":"what, I was not my best self. I"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2466.36,"endTime":2469.72,"body":"am really worn down and tired"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2469.72,"endTime":2473.32,"body":"and I was not my best self, and"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2469.72,"endTime":2473.32,"body":"I am sorry, there's always room"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2473.32,"endTime":2475.78,"body":"for repair. You do not have to"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2473.32,"endTime":2475.78,"body":"be a perfect parent."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2475.78,"endTime":2478.06,"body":"The only perfect"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2475.78,"endTime":2478.06,"body":"parents are people without"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2478.06,"endTime":2483.36,"body":"children. Yes, I've never heard"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2478.06,"endTime":2483.36,"body":"that before. That's so good. Can"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2483.36,"endTime":2486.12,"body":"I ask you one more question?"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2483.36,"endTime":2486.12,"body":"When the whole time I was"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2486.12,"endTime":2490.56,"body":"reading this, I had Robert"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2486.12,"endTime":2490.56,"body":"Putnam's Bowling Alone in the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2490.56,"endTime":2493.8,"body":"back of my head, because one of"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2490.56,"endTime":2493.8,"body":"the things with achievement"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2493.8,"endTime":2497.16,"body":"culture is it's not just grades"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2493.8,"endTime":2497.16,"body":"and scores, but it strikes me"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2497.28,"endTime":2500.9,"body":"that all of the what used to be"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2497.28,"endTime":2500.9,"body":"really outlets, you know, places"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2500.9,"endTime":2504.2,"body":"for authentic social connection"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2500.9,"endTime":2504.2,"body":"and for stress relief and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2504.2,"endTime":2506.72,"body":"feeling that you matter in ways"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2504.2,"endTime":2506.72,"body":"that aren't necessarily being"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2506.72,"endTime":2509.54,"body":"measured with within all the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2506.72,"endTime":2509.54,"body":"extracurricular activities that"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2509.54,"endTime":2512.84,"body":"kids can do. And so I remember,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2509.54,"endTime":2512.84,"body":"you know, started never enough"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2512.84,"endTime":2515.48,"body":"about your son as a builder,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2512.84,"endTime":2515.48,"body":"right? But, but also, kids are"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2515.48,"endTime":2519.44,"body":"artists and musicians and and,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2515.48,"endTime":2519.44,"body":"you know, athletes and so on and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2519.44,"endTime":2523.96,"body":"so forth, that so much of what"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2519.44,"endTime":2523.96,"body":"was play for children gets, you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2523.96,"endTime":2527.2,"body":"know, basically monetized and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2523.96,"endTime":2527.2,"body":"weaponized becomes adult"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2527.2,"endTime":2531.1,"body":"directed activity that we all to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2527.2,"endTime":2531.1,"body":"your point, pay for pay to play"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2531.1,"endTime":2535.06,"body":"village and it. And so, by"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2531.1,"endTime":2535.06,"body":"definition, it's no longer play"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2535.06,"endTime":2539.14,"body":"if it's adult directed and so"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2535.06,"endTime":2539.14,"body":"you you end the book with"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2539.14,"endTime":2542.82,"body":"talking about building spaces of"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2539.14,"endTime":2542.82,"body":"mattering, right? You know, with"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2542.82,"endTime":2547.5,"body":"the erosion of third places, can"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2542.82,"endTime":2547.5,"body":"you talk about that a little"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2547.5,"endTime":2552.12,"body":"bit? Because that strikes me"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2547.5,"endTime":2552.12,"body":"that, you know, the epidemics of"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2552.12,"endTime":2556.5,"body":"loneliness, these are social"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2552.12,"endTime":2556.5,"body":"problems, and so much like cell"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2556.5,"endTime":2559.86,"body":"phones, we can't make it be an"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2556.5,"endTime":2559.86,"body":"individual solution to a social"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2559.86,"endTime":2563.54,"body":"problem, that when we work on"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2559.86,"endTime":2563.54,"body":"building these spaces for our"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2563.54,"endTime":2566.72,"body":"children, for children for"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2563.54,"endTime":2566.72,"body":"ourselves, it's not just helping"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2566.72,"endTime":2568.28,"body":"us, but it's helping everyone."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2568.58,"endTime":2570.8,"body":"I think you"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2568.58,"endTime":2570.8,"body":"said it perfectly, Ned, I think"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2570.8,"endTime":2574.16,"body":"you nailed it. I think you're"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2570.8,"endTime":2574.16,"body":"absolutely right."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2574.16,"endTime":2576.86,"body":"I'm a good student"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2574.16,"endTime":2576.86,"body":"of your work. Thank you for this"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2576.86,"endTime":2578.96,"body":"wonderful book, because I know"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2576.86,"endTime":2578.96,"body":"you're off there helping all"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2578.96,"endTime":2582.7,"body":"sorts of people in ways that"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2578.96,"endTime":2582.7,"body":"matter to them and to you. So"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2582.7,"endTime":2584.14,"body":"thanks. It's gonna be a great"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2582.7,"endTime":2584.14,"body":"book."},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2584.44,"endTime":2586.42,"body":"I always love"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2584.44,"endTime":2586.42,"body":"talking with you. Thank you so"},{"speaker":"Jennifer Wallace","startTime":2586.42,"endTime":2588.34,"body":"much. Always insightful."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2588.52,"endTime":2590.92,"body":"So Jenny, I know"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2588.52,"endTime":2590.92,"body":"you have to run off to an NPR"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2590.92,"endTime":2598.0,"body":"interview. You matter in so many"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2590.92,"endTime":2598.0,"body":"spaces. Thanks for joining us."},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2598.0,"endTime":2602.7,"body":"Some takeaways about mattering,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2598.0,"endTime":2602.7,"body":"appreciating who the person is,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2602.82,"endTime":2607.44,"body":"and not just what they do. Is"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2602.82,"endTime":2607.44,"body":"how we feed mattering. Mattering"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2607.44,"endTime":2612.06,"body":"is feeling valued for who we"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2607.44,"endTime":2612.06,"body":"are, not what we do, and having"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2612.06,"endTime":2616.02,"body":"the opportunity to add value"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2612.06,"endTime":2616.02,"body":"back into our communities. And"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2616.02,"endTime":2619.5,"body":"mattering can be described using"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2616.02,"endTime":2619.5,"body":"the said framework, feeling"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2619.56,"endTime":2623.96,"body":"significant, feeling"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2619.56,"endTime":2623.96,"body":"appreciated, feeling invested"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2624.02,"endTime":2628.88,"body":"and feeling depended on. We all"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2624.02,"endTime":2628.88,"body":"know the golden rule, the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2628.88,"endTime":2632.72,"body":"platinum rule, though, is Do"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2628.88,"endTime":2632.72,"body":"unto others as they would want"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2632.72,"endTime":2637.46,"body":"you to do unto them. And the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2632.72,"endTime":2637.46,"body":"fastest way to feel like you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2637.46,"endTime":2642.34,"body":"matter is to remind someone else"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2637.46,"endTime":2642.34,"body":"why they do so for all of you"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2642.34,"endTime":2646.3,"body":"who take the time to listen to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2642.34,"endTime":2646.3,"body":"this podcast, thank you. You"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2646.3,"endTime":2649.3,"body":"matter to me and more"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2646.3,"endTime":2649.3,"body":"importantly, to people and your"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2649.3,"endTime":2653.38,"body":"life, I encourage you to let"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2649.3,"endTime":2653.38,"body":"them know that they matter to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2653.38,"endTime":2658.24,"body":"you too. I'm Ned Johnson, and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2653.38,"endTime":2658.24,"body":"this is the self driven child"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2658.24,"endTime":2663.78,"body":"podcast. Hey folks, over the"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2658.24,"endTime":2663.78,"body":"past 25 years, I've talked to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2663.78,"endTime":2666.9,"body":"countless parents of high school"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2663.78,"endTime":2666.9,"body":"age students who care deeply"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2666.9,"endTime":2670.56,"body":"about their kids' education and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2666.9,"endTime":2670.56,"body":"how they deal with stress and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2670.56,"endTime":2673.98,"body":"the pressure to succeed. It can"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2670.56,"endTime":2673.98,"body":"help parents to work with a team"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2674.04,"endTime":2677.04,"body":"they trust won't just pile on"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2674.04,"endTime":2677.04,"body":"more pressure to achieve better"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2677.04,"endTime":2681.06,"body":"scores and grades. That's why I"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2677.04,"endTime":2681.06,"body":"founded prep matters in 1997 to"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2681.24,"endTime":2684.38,"body":"create a different kind of"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2681.24,"endTime":2684.38,"body":"experience for test preparation"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2684.44,"endTime":2687.98,"body":"and academic tutoring. This"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2684.44,"endTime":2687.98,"body":"podcast and my books with my"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2687.98,"endTime":2691.46,"body":"friend Bill stixrod reflect our"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2687.98,"endTime":2691.46,"body":"company philosophy and approach"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2691.46,"endTime":2694.88,"body":"to helping students. If you have"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2691.46,"endTime":2694.88,"body":"a high school age student and"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2694.88,"endTime":2698.36,"body":"would like to talk about putting"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2694.88,"endTime":2698.36,"body":"a plan together, please get in"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2698.36,"endTime":2702.16,"body":"touch with us. Visit our"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2698.36,"endTime":2702.16,"body":"website. At prep matters.com or"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2702.34,"endTime":2705.4,"body":"while your kids may only text,"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2702.34,"endTime":2705.4,"body":"you might want to actually talk"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2705.4,"endTime":2708.88,"body":"with a person, if so, you can"},{"speaker":"Ned Johnson","startTime":2705.4,"endTime":2708.88,"body":"reach us at 301-951-0350."}]}