The UnlearnT Podcast

Millennials In Crisis Mini Series: Preparing Your Crisis Kit Before the Storm

Ruth Abigail Smith

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We explore the essential components of a crisis toolkit for millennials and middle adults who are feeling squeezed by life's challenges and uncertainties.

• Community is foundational—know who's around you and be aware of what gifts they bring to your life
• Being rooted in the same values is different from simply being bonded to others
• Financial preparation requires doing things you don't want to do—budget, save, and possibly reduce your lifestyle
• The YOLO mindset emphasizes living for the moment rather than building for the future
• Spiritual grounding means staying current with God, not relying on childhood faith
• Establishing intentional faith routines anchors you before crisis hits
• Creating a safe place doesn't always mean being comfortable—safety and comfort are different
• Being out of your God-assigned position puts you out of safety
• Self-awareness means understanding your strengths and potential pitfalls
• Crisis and extreme success both reveal who you really are
• Process your thoughts through talking, journaling, or even using voice notes and AI tools

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Speaker 1:

welcome once again to the unalert podcast. I'm your host, ruth abigail aka ra what's up, friends? It's your girl, jaquita and this is the podcast that is helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that you can experience more freedom and listen, friends look at us.

Speaker 2:

Okay, it's here together we're here in a studio, we can touch each other look at this, this is real, this ain't magic. We don't know how to do enough to make it pretend yeah, we're definitely actually in the same room.

Speaker 1:

I've made a whole trip to a whole other state just for y'all, I did this for you.

Speaker 2:

Listen, we are excited about the chemistry and really getting out some good points to you guys today, because we've been working on something We've been working on a little segment for the saints. Okay, we got a little something that we want to give to you. Okay, this is actually brainchild of producer joy.

Speaker 1:

Okay, so I just feel like it's really necessary yes, that we give her some credit because she fought for y'all she did okay, she fought for y'all yeah, this, this particular topic wasn't wasn't my favorite, I'll be honest.

Speaker 1:

I was like well dang they weren't something I was extra excited about, but she convinced me. All right. So, because I think what we're going to talk about in this little series is very relevant, yeah, for sure, and so the thing that we're really going to talk about before we do, though, before we do, oh, Lord, we always forget. We always, and you know this.

Speaker 2:

You know this. Listen, we are building a family here, all right.

Speaker 1:

We're building a community.

Speaker 2:

Yes, we want all of y'all. Take a moment before we give you this good good, before we give you these good nuggets. Okay, take a moment, like share and subscribe.

Speaker 1:

Absolutely Okay. You got to finish my sentence Because we're in the same room now. You think you can finish my sentences? Yeah, I feel like it's slow.

Speaker 2:

Like button subscribe. Hit that little notification bell. Send a little ding to your phone, be like hey, they on they out here, ok, so you can hear us when we, when we drop the next episode.

Speaker 1:

So this is our, our, our topic series topic. Today we're talking about when you're in crisis Right, and specifically thinking about those in the millennial generation. Right specifically thinking about those in the millennial generation, right, but this is really going to apply to everybody, because everybody has moments where you are and my father says this, right, and he says this. So, before the storm, during the storm, after the storm, either yeah, what'd he say? You're either just coming out of trouble, headed into in trouble or headed to trouble Wise words.

Speaker 2:

You know what I'm saying. Wise words, pastor Smith.

Speaker 1:

wise words Right and so the reality is, you know, I don't know, we don't know where you are today specifically, but a lot of people that are in this generation, and and the younger generations in particular, feel very squeezed right now.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 1:

Feel very much in crisis. Feel like I don't know how I'm going to manage this life because of a lot of different things.

Speaker 2:

Yeah for sure, I definitely think you know we're talking about millennials in crisis, but again, I think every episode we do we might be talking to our middle adult community, but I really think everybody can grab something from it.

Speaker 2:

But, I really feel like with millennials, especially like we 30 and up now, all right, we, we out here in these streets, ok, we, you've been through things before. But I do think that when you get to a moment, if you've been through like crisis after crisis, if you've been through like crisis after crisis and you've managed different shifts and changes in your life, that doesn't necessarily make those new things easier to navigate, but you can be really really aware when something in your life is about to shift Right, and because we've been through things before, we can start to see the signs. You know, I, in the role I had previously, I worked with a lot of 25 year olds. Hey, y'all, you know what's up and you know who you are. Okay, my 25 year old crew, okay, but they, I would be sitting and I'd be watching and I could see when things were about to shift. I could see when people were about to make a new move or when something was going to affect the office and affect the team, because I've been there before, right, right.

Speaker 2:

And so I think that millennials, especially in these middle adult years, you're at a space and time where you're realizing, especially if you're paying attention just to what's happening in the earth. We don't even have to look at, you know, I know everybody right now is looking politically, but looking at, look at what's happening in the earth. Yeah, it's earthquakes and fires, ok, it's all kind of things indicating shift, yes, and change, yeah, you know, and it's something that I think that we're having to prepare ourselves for, correct, which is why I think this topic is so important.

Speaker 1:

And so with that, you know, we're going to kind of break down what some of the things that we've had to unlearn and it's helped us in each one of these different stages, right? So today we're going to really talk about what it looks like if you're not feeling, if your shift is about to come, or you know a change is about to come. Shift is about to come, my Lord.

Speaker 2:

My, that didn't hit y'all.

Speaker 1:

Okay, I'm sorry go ahead, go ahead, it hit me me, it just hit me all right, all right, we good, you good, I'm all right.

Speaker 2:

That's fantastic okay, no, I'm sensitive.

Speaker 1:

Yes, when, whenever the change is about to come and you kind of sense that, but it's, it hadn't happened yet. Yeah, right, you're, you're right before it. Um, we want to. What we're calling you know this, uh, these tools, yeah, what, when you are, like you said, a weather emergency or a medical emergency or things like that, there is some sort of kit, there's, there's something that you have, that you, you have to decide and make sure, like I have to have these things in case something happens. For sure.

Speaker 1:

And so these are some things that we think are very important to put in your crisis kit very important to put in your crisis kit For sure.

Speaker 1:

Okay, and so there's just a few things that have helped us really manage and helped us to be prepared before something changes, but do it before the change so that you're not thrown off. So we're going to go through them real quick and just talk a little bit about what we have, some of the things that we've unlearned about each one of these, for sure. So, queda, why don don't you? What's the first one?

Speaker 2:

All right. So the thing that I really want to hone in and I think it's kind of like the groundwork for what we're talking about here, because when you think about a toolkit, you have to have that stuff in place before you get to the emergency. That's the purpose of a toolkit, and I think one of the first things that you really need to focus on is community. Right, you need to know who's around you. Right, you need to be aware not just of what's in you, you need to be aware of what's in the people that's around you. Right?

Speaker 2:

Because I'm going to need to lean on the people that's around me, right, but if I don't trust the gift that's in you, if I don't know, if I don't know what you, what you bring to the table, what you bring to my life. If I don't know the value add of the people that are around me, I'm going to miss out on the opportunity of using them in my crisis moment.

Speaker 2:

Right, and so you know the Bible says that you have to know those that you labor among, yeah, right, and you have to know the people that. Uh, you know, labor is not just kind of like, you know, we in the field working or we at the job working, but friendship is work Relationship is work Right, and you have to be intentional about getting to know the people that you're surrounding yourself with.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, we all know the quote, right, that you are the sum of the five people. Yeah, they are closest to you. Yeah, right that you kind of become that. Yeah, right, you have to know what am I allowing to feed into me? Because, ultimately, what you are allowing into your ears, what you are allowing into your, into your spirit, those are the things that will be echoing through your mind as you go through a crisis moment. So who are you surrounding yourself with and what are you allowing them to speak to you in the moments before the storm?

Speaker 1:

Exactly, and you know something I did a recent Freedom Friday about the idea of checking out inventory.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, it's good. I mean, it helped me even just taking inventory as to what things are you putting inside of you, because the reality is, whatever's in you is coming out, it's not an option, right is coming out, it's not an option, right? Yeah, what's coming in you is coming out. That's also bible those voices, um, that you have that are coming in your ear, in your community. If they are not building you up, making you better, um, allowing you to progress, or if they are not helping you to reshape your mind, to unlearn some things, to do all the things that you need to do before you get to a point of change, then you might need to take care of that. You might need to figure out who do I really need to be listening to, and I think it's important One thing that I did actually recently look on your um, on your recent call list and your phone, and see who you've been talking to for real.

Speaker 1:

Ooh, you know what I'm saying. Yeah, like, see who you've been talking to. Look at your text messages who have you been communicating with? Who?

Speaker 2:

you got pinned at the top Like who you got pinned Like and like.

Speaker 1:

Are these people putting me in a position to win? Are they draining me Right? And so I think that is. You got to know that before you, because that that is the energy you're taking into this next, this next, yeah, right.

Speaker 2:

And I think it's important. Darius Daniels has a really, really good book about relational IQ, yeah Right, and he names kind of like the different positions that people can take in your life. You know, they can be a friend, right, they can be a. I forget the other, ok All right.

Speaker 2:

They can be a friend. I think it's like friend, mentor and accomplice, sure, all right, right, like you have. Yeah, thank you, I actually have the book. Right, but they but you have people who are at different stages of your life, yeah, but you have people who are at different stages of your life, and they don't always stay in the same stage.

Speaker 2:

And a lot of times we don't prepare ourselves for relationships to shift Right. You don't prepare that when, when God takes you from one season to another that is not that I lose that person is that the nature of our relationship will shift Right. But if you don't know and the reason why it shifts is and I think you and I were just talking about this the other day that there is a difference between us being bonded because we we have a bond and there's a difference in being bonded because you're rooted in the same thing.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, for sure.

Speaker 2:

Right, if you are rooted, if we're both rooted in the same ideologies, the same values, the same faith, the same, the same goals, the same. If we're rooted in the same thing, when the storm comes right, we're both going to be rooted. If we're bonded together, though, and the storm comes, that storm is coming to break you apart. Yeah Right, because you're not grounded in the same thing, and a lot of times, when we're building communities, we focus so much on how I'm bonding with the person and not what that person is rooted in.

Speaker 1:

That's good, because if they're not rooted in the same thing as you, it's not going to survive the crisis. That's very real. That's very real, ok. So the next one, yeah, is understanding what your financial situation is. Take it away, ruth, okay, all right. So so this is a really important thing in your, in your preparedness kit.

Speaker 2:

Right is get your finances together get your money right and I think a lot of people are feeling that right now.

Speaker 1:

Right, I mean because you know you mentioned earlier politics, the economy, all these things, it seems like it's. So I mean these tariffs, you know. I mean my, which, you know, let's be honest. I mean I don't know enough to talk about the unlearned podcast.

Speaker 2:

You have no political affiliation. Okay, you just want to make that known, well yeah, that's true as a podcast.

Speaker 1:

As a podcast okay, don't come for us. You're not wrong and you know. The terrorists are the terrorists are the crazy yeah, a lot too, you know 100, 184, whatever it is. I don't know all that stuff, I don't know enough. I don't know enough, but I do know that it it's going to impact us financially. Yeah, it's going to impact our pockets. We do know that much yeah and so for for those.

Speaker 1:

We know that's coming, we know it's very close to coming it might be coming on Monday, I don't know, right and so I think that it's important if you, if you haven't started to go ahead and get real practical about your finances, right, you know, do the things that you don't want to do, and I think that is it's it's really important to be OK doing things you don't want to do, and I think that is it's it's really important to be okay doing things you don't want to do.

Speaker 1:

Uh, budget like saving, right, save, um, they'll reduce your lifestyle, you know what I'm saying, like like all those things that are going to be important for when it comes right, and and I think that our, our generation, we coined the phrase YOLO right, you only live once, which is true.

Speaker 2:

You're only broke once if you keep playing, Well you be YOLO hobo, Okay.

Speaker 1:

You better stop playing. Hey, all right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, sure, okay.

Speaker 1:

But I do think that we coined that phrase and it's something that we really like. Oh right, you live once. I got it, I got it, I got to live my best life now, and that's like, that's not necessary. Not necessary If you believe that your life will be beyond now and so that was good.

Speaker 2:

Yes, sorry, because I think that YOLO emphasizes living in the moment and living for the moment as if it's your last moment, as if it is going to be your most important moment. And so YOLO really emphasizes it's a 20s mindset, right, it's a. It's a I'm young, happy and free. Well, baby, let me tell you from the middle adult perspective. Okay, let me tell you something. All right, them bills. They don't get less, they get more, okay. The bills don't decline, yeah, okay. They increase, yeah, right. And if you start, there are some so many areas of our lives and I'm sure every middle adult will tell you that there are some things that they wish they had started in their twenties, so that they wouldn't be fooled up with it now in their thirties.

Speaker 2:

That's absolutely right. I wish I had started running in my twenties, okay, and maybe it wouldn't be so difficult. Well, that's true Right now. Cause these stairs that that we have to come, come out.

Speaker 1:

It's kind of a lot, and so I mean I mean so you ain't lying, you know like it's, it's, I think you're right and so it really is. Just like whatever that is, dave ramsey is my guy, okay we know this.

Speaker 2:

I love dave ramsey, y'all know that and he says this.

Speaker 1:

He says live like no one else, so later you can live like no one else, right, it's? It's self-explanatory what it means, but it's really profound. I think the undertone of that is living like no one else means you will probably do these things by yourself and a lot of times you know even the community that you have yeah may not be totally with the uh, the financial part of your, of your, of your, of your journey.

Speaker 1:

That was the case with me, and not in a bad way. My community was very supportive, but I was the only one doing the thing I was doing at the time, they did think I was crazy, and so I think that we have. You just have to make decisions that are best for you Right Right now, and pay attention, be real about where you are financially, pay attention to it and create a plan so that you don't have you don't end up in real crisis when stuff really happens.

Speaker 2:

Yeah, I think that you have to spend some time imagining the life that you want, right. You have to spend some time, friends, right, take some time Vision board Journal Right, see the destination that you're trying to get to. So, because when you have that vision in mind, you'll know that you're building something. So you won't try to, you won't try to have everything in the moment you're having now, because you were able to do your financial plan, because you believed in where you were going.

Speaker 2:

A lot of times we don't make plans because we don't know where we're going Right, and so I got to enjoy that. That's the whole premise of YOLO is you only live once in this moment, right now, right? Right of YOLO is you only live once in this moment, right now, right, because it emphasizes the moment you're in versus the moment you're headed to, and you have to unlearn that. And for me, I was the opposite of Ruth Abigail. I was like how did I get my nails done? You know I ain't got enough to pay the electricity bill, but I could spend $20.

Speaker 2:

And that's the other thing. Millennials, I think that we'd be like $20?.

Speaker 1:

I got $20.

Speaker 2:

It's nothing $20 until you spend it 10 times. Now it's $200. All right, don't that feel different? It had a gravity to it, gravitas, $200. All right, you done spent in one week, because everything you got cost $200. All right, you just spent in one week because everything you got cost $20. Yeah, you know. And so we have to be mindful that we're not real. The moment you're building for is not the moment you're in. That's right, right. And so you have to cater your life to where you're going and not to where you are.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, that's good, all right. What's the next one? Oh, oh, my spiritual grounding Right.

Speaker 2:

Let's let's get our faith right. Here we go in the season and you know, I think you will find that once you get in the moment you are going to, you are there in the moment with what you prepared before you got to that moment. Right. And I think that that's so true about our faith life, right, that's so true about our faith life, right, our commitment to growing deeper in our relationship with God, growing deeper in community with other believers, our commitment to making sure that we are staying grounded with God. And you know, I think it's something really to be said about staying current with God. Right, like you are not, you cannot live off of the faith of your childhood. No, right, like you are not, you cannot live off of the faith of your childhood. No, okay, you cannot live off of the routine, the faith routine of your parents, right, right, you have to bring yourself up current with where God is in your life right now and really decide what am I going to be committed to?

Speaker 2:

Continuing to prepare not just for the crisis moments, okay, because he's your father. Okay, not just the King, all right, he's your father. Right, and you, you, you're building relationship so that it can sustain you toward that vision that God has put on the inside of you. And that's going to require intentionality and it is going to require, like, y'all got face care routines, okay, y'all got, you know, health routines. You go to your job at a certain time, you get that job. Your 37.5 for me are 40 hours. For somebody else, you're giving your job that time. You have to create a routine, a faith routine that will ground you Because, again, where your roots are is where you will be after the storm. So set your roots down so that you can be stable.

Speaker 1:

So for those, those, those of you that have children like we, we have a 10 year old and I was I had a routine, you know we had a Sunday morning routine.

Speaker 1:

We had Sundays yeah, that was the routine. So and and and and it was great and we, we were good, we were in a rhythm and um. But our son really started to uh, love, uh, anything that happened at the church. Honestly, like wednesdays, anytime there was um, anytime there was a uh event, children's event, he wanted to go family night. You know he would tell us, so we go because of him. Yeah, you know, if it was up to us, we do a strong sunday morning.

Speaker 1:

You know what I'm saying like we strong and so, but but he, he, he wanted to do more.

Speaker 2:

I love you, Tyson. That's what I'm talking about.

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, yeah. Good stuff, young man, good stuff, young man. And then we started volunteering because he was there so much that they would say, hey, do y'all want to come up and help once a month? Now, I wanted to pray about it, but my husband said yes, immediately, all right.

Speaker 1:

Well, you know Ty going gonna say yes regardless, if it's helping anybody yeah he'll help, yeah, he okay, I'm gonna pray, but he's gonna have and so and so, but we so we end up, we end up. We're at church sunday mornings every sunday morning, sometimes earlier, for you know, we volunteer Wednesdays any kind of uh event. Through that we've built relationships with people deeper relationships with people.

Speaker 1:

Um, our son is, uh, he, he literally could go throughout the entire church, it's he, everybody knows him, um, and so I say I have to say I think think, for those of us with kids, they can. They can actually anchor you in a way you don't even realize you need to Because that, because you, you are, you think you're doing it for them, but you realize it's for you to yeah, more than you, more than you thought you needed for that, because I am very, I'm more solid now in not just faith, but community, through through our faith, community, yeah, that, if any, if we needed anything, we're gonna be okay yeah, and we have other people that we can support that know to call us when they're about to go through something yeah but I really I credit Tyson for that.

Speaker 2:

But I love because you know Tyson's 10, right, he's 10. Right. I love that it's creating a foundation in him, yes, so that when he gets to his crisis moment, he has roots that are dug down.

Speaker 1:

That's correct. You know what I'm saying?

Speaker 2:

That's it and I think God is so intentional. Which brings me back kind of to my point about community right. Community anchors you right and getting in the right community, getting in the right faith community. You know, I know a lot of us have left church or we don't attend church as regularly because you think church was what you grew up with. Find a church that works for you.

Speaker 2:

Find a church that teaches that word now Get that word, make sure you're. Teaches that word, now get that word, make sure you get that word. And I know some people want that praise and worship. Okay, you like a little, like a little worship music, like a little a little praise and worship team, our choir, you know whatever it is. But find something that's going to work for you because you need that community. Yeah, you know, and I don't think, and Tyson, tyson, leading y'all there, carried y'all through the first year of your marriage.

Speaker 1:

It did, and so it was necessary.

Speaker 2:

It was necessary.

Speaker 1:

So I think the next thing that we want to, that we think is really important to establish right before the storm is and your preparedness kit Right Is you need to have a safe place. My lord.

Speaker 2:

You need to have a safe place. Uh, it's like.

Speaker 1:

It's like, there you go, okay, all right, uh, so you know when you are in, um, uh, if a tornado they tell you like, oh, hunker down, find in a place that's inside your house and have windows. It's insulated right and stay there yeah um. But so you know, and in each one of these situations you know, at at um, at angel street, we're in a neighborhood that experiences some crime, okay so this is the neighborhood that experiences too much too much. I love you, memphis, thank you for feeding me.

Speaker 1:

I appreciate you. So we have protocols right. When there are things in which we've had gunshots outside, things like this, what do we do? The first thing we do is get into one place.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

The first thing we do is we make sure everybody is in the right location, and so I think that that is a huge part of being prepared. Where can you go? Wait a minute when your crisis hits? You need to know that before it hits. We've experienced where we had a situation before we had a plan and after a plan, and before the plan we had parents come. We didn't have a plan. My team was actually I was not in the building and I came back um after they told me what happened. But there was some gunfire outside and they were um, they were figuring out. There were kids, they were hearing the gunfire and this was like ar-15 gunfire one just pop, pop, pop.

Speaker 1:

It was like machine gun all right so it was really scary and so, you know, I had my team. They knew enough to do some things, yeah, but there were also parents outside.

Speaker 1:

It was during pickup time, so there were parents outside who were panicking and coming to the door, banging on the door. They're opening the door right, letting people in. We didn't. They were just trying to figure out how to keep people safe. That is not smart. You don't let people, you can't, you have to. One of the things that we learned afterwards, after being trained and having a real plan in place, is no one in, no one out.

Speaker 2:

Right.

Speaker 1:

Because when, when there's a crisis, that's what you do, right, because I don't know who's who's coming in and out. Yeah, and so you know. That's one thing. The kid like making sure that the kids lights are off, right, making sure that the kids are, are all in one space or backed into a corner, right. Luckily, we didn't have any windows in the room we were in, but there were. There was just some different things we knew to do after we had a plan. And then, not too long ago, we had another one, another incident, a little different, but we had a little bit of a plan, and even after that happened, I was able to double down on a plan, right. So I say all that to say the location when are you, where can you go when there is a crisis?

Speaker 2:

We need to figure that out today. No, because I really. I hope y'all are hearing what I heard. What I heard, because as soon as you started talking, all I kept hearing was Adam, where are you Right? Because when you are out of position, you are out of safety. Yeah, when you are out of position, when that crisis hits, you are not going to be in the place that will protect you, that will feed you, that will not going to be in the place that will protect you, that will feed you, that will preserve you to make it through the moment and a lot of times. I think, if we're honest with ourselves, you have to evaluate where am I? Am I in the spot that the Lord told me to be in?

Speaker 1:

Am I doing the things?

Speaker 2:

that I'm supposed to be doing, because the moment you get out of position, you put yourself out of safety Right, and so when that crisis moment hits, sometimes you have to ask yourself did I experience this crisis?

Speaker 1:

because I got out of position.

Speaker 2:

Right, because a lot of things that we are experiencing is because we got out of position. That's right. Right, there is safety and being in the place that God assigned you to.

Speaker 1:

Yes.

Speaker 2:

Right when Adam was in the garden. He put Adam in the garden in a specific spot. Everything he needed was in the spot. Yeah Right, when you allow and what gets you out of position, right, your own lust and desires and the voice that you decided to follow. That was not the voice that gave you the instruction to be in that space. Yeah, right, because a lot of times and I just I know we keep harping on community- and I'm sorry to keep bringing it back, but when you talk about safe place, you also have to talk about who are the people around you and what kind of space are they creating for you?

Speaker 2:

That's it Right. Kind of space are they creating for you? That's it Right. And a lot of times, what makes the space unsafe is what kind of dependency have they created inside of you, people who create like a system, where they're like I need you to depend on me and to depend on my voice and to listen to my voice.

Speaker 2:

And if you go another way, that's wrong, that's dangerous. That's dangerous. Safe spaces are ones that empower and strengthen you. Know how do you? How to maintain lifelong friendships or how to build those friendships? And I think one of the things that really helped us is that we, when we started allowing each other to be able to think through and process through things independently, but with the counsel of each other, it became, it became something that strengthened me and that's what made that space safe, because it was a space that I could go to be strengthened and not necessarily shifted Right.

Speaker 2:

People who only seek to push and push you and and they make their voice the prominent voice in your life, and they make their voice the prominent voice in your life and they make their aims and goals and visions. They try to impose that on you without you being able to settle in yourself and make that decision. Not a safe space. It's not a safe space, and you have to evaluate your relationships to say, okay, is this a relationship that is coddling me? Because that's coddling right, that's, you don't have to make your own decisions, I'll make the decisions for you. You don't have to do the thinking, I'll do the thinking for you right. Are you being coddled or are you being empowered? And coddling can look a lot of different ways right.

Speaker 2:

It can be. I'm being coddled, you know, to make me feel like there's nothing wrong with me. You know, like you got that friend that's like, oh no, I don't know why people keep saying that about you. There's nothing wrong with you, baby.

Speaker 1:

No, tell me the truth. Yeah, a safe place is a truthful place, and so, and to that, I think that that is something you know safe doesn't mean soft, right. It doesn't mean you're soft, it doesn't mean that you're just.

Speaker 2:

You know, oh, look at you, let me tell you something I ain't got a soft friend.

Speaker 1:

No, okay, that's not what I have right here, and I think that I think that that's something we have to unlearn is that safety doesn't does not always mean comfortable yeah, matter of fact the like in times of of a literal storm.

Speaker 2:

Being safe one thousand percent won't mean being comfortable you're usually in a place you don't really want to be, yeah, but you're safe yeah, right, if you think about like, when people like them, little bomb shelters people are building or the like you know the little end of time shelters, that's not. You know futons and easy boys down lazy boys down there.

Speaker 1:

You know, right down the street from where Angel Street is, is a is a house, it's called slave haven and it was one of the uh places of the underground railroad stop.

Speaker 2:

It's like literally right down okay, okay, make it make sense I was getting there too, um slave haven is that's what it's called.

Speaker 1:

It's called slave haven and it's a museum, but underneath it is a bunker where slaves would be hidden. Wow, and if you take, you take the tour, you can go down there right.

Speaker 2:

Yeah.

Speaker 1:

And it. I mean it's smaller than the room we're in, it is crammed and it's down below and you don't have any. You can't stand up Right. It's the safest place for him, uncomfortable Uh, you're not. You're not in, you're not in a place that you want to stay long, but you're safe, right, and you and you, and it's important.

Speaker 2:

I think it's important to make that distinction, because and understand where do I need to be, not where do I want to be when it's someplace, when something happens, that's good, yeah, that's good, yeah, I think that's so in, that's so uh, important, and it kind of leads us into our next point, right, yeah, so we really need to talk about and I think this is something I harp on in every class I teach every moment that I get to be in front of young adults, it's somewhere in the presentation Self-awareness. We are really in a time where uniformity is broadcast. You know, like everybody, I used to say everybody's trying so hard to be different that we're all the same. You know, everybody is trying so hard to be, you know, alternative. Or I got a little spice here, or I do a little bit of different. This and yes, you are unique, yeah, right. And yes, you are fearfully and wonderfully made, if you will. Ok, right, you are all of those things.

Speaker 2:

But you have to take a moment and say, ok, I got all this uniqueness, but what am I hiding? What's underneath the surface, right? And that that does not come from looking in a mirror. That comes from doing some introspection. You cannot just keep looking on the outside of yourself and trying to modify that. You need to look inwardly and reflect on what is what's there Right and take inventory not just of your strengths but your potential pitfalls as well. That's correct, you know.

Speaker 2:

That's important because, ultimately, when, when the crisis moment hits, let me tell you something, okay, we're going to talk about on the next episode. Okay, because one thing that a crisis will do is expose. The one thing a crisis is going to do is it's going to lay all your stuff out on the surface. Nobody else may not see it, but you will suddenly become aware of everything you know, and so you have to be mindful. It would be so, it would be to your benefit, right To be as aware as possible of what that crisis is, of what, of what those weaknesses are, of who you really are. And you know this goes into like you know well, how am I carrying things from my childhood? You may not have the full understanding of it yet, you may not have the revelation of it yet, but how have you been affected by the things that have happened? You know, and we we talked about it before I that emotional will.

Speaker 1:

Oh, yeah, listen, yeah, grab that. It's important. You know cause you need to know yeah.

Speaker 2:

You need to know how I'm responding when things hit me. Yeah Right, what? What's my go-to response? Am I mad? Am I angry?

Speaker 1:

Yeah, yeah, and I think that we I like what you said Right the hold on What'd you say? What'd you say? Middle adults, y'all, y'all already know. So, yeah, ok, you got it. The you know who you really are. Right, yeah, in a crisis and I, and I would say, just just as a broader, even broader statement any extreme brings out who you really are. So it like, so the the crisis will bring out who you really are.

Speaker 1:

But also extreme greatness brings out who you really are yo talk about that, talk about that like, like, even though we're talking about, but like this idea of self-awareness, those, those pitfalls don't necessarily, they're not just limited to coming out when things are bad. Pitfalls can come out when things are really good. You know and you have, you find out who you really are. I mean, you said it, when you know people.

Speaker 2:

People get revealed when you, when you got a lot of when you got a little what you listen. But you know, I think that that and that's one of the foundations of why we started the podcast because Ruth Abigail and I both got in leadership roles. You know where we were like leader people and a leadership role will show you your deficiency, mentorship and guidance, and each one of them need to be led differently, but you're the person at the top that people are looking to.

Speaker 2:

You know, I found myself in my quiet place being like Lord, am I enough? Yeah, and sometimes the answer is you can be enough if you practice. So, if you want surrender I'm a big fan of that word right now, right, you have to surrender the things that you are learning about yourself that don't work in the season that you're in. Yeah, you have to surrender that and you have to allow God and do it now, in the place of peace.

Speaker 1:

Do it now.

Speaker 2:

Don't wait. You know, we, just as a human race, we like to wait until we got no other options.

Speaker 1:

We believe, believe, I think truly, we just don't believe things can. Actually, we, we live in these, in these bubbles where we think it's not going to get busted and it will, your bubble, whatever bubble you're in right now, will be bused by something and and, and you know, you live a few, a few years and you, you know that you learn that right, and so I think that we don't change, we don't move, we, we do things slow. I'll do it later, I'll do it tomorrow, um, when truly, tomorrow's not promised, like that's, that's, that's just, that's just true, it's not promised and you don't know what tomorrow is. And so we ought to do things when you, when you learn them, start putting them into practice now yeah, yeah, you know.

Speaker 2:

And and for those of you who are wondering how can I practice introspection, how can I evaluate kind of what we've listed in this toolkit right now, I would suggest the first thing you need to do is, whatever way you get your thoughts out, right, if you need to start having more intentional conversation with your community members, let people know what you need from them, the people who love you, the people who care about you. Let them know. Hey, I'm in this space of my life where I'm trying to dig deeper into this. Can you support, can you be an accountability partner? Can you? Can you walk with me through this? Right, be intentional about one, identifying your needs, just as a person, and then allowing your community to come in and support you as you walk through that. So, build that community, but be intentional about getting a journal.

Speaker 2:

I cannot emphasize enough. I know I'm a talker, right, I like to talk things out, because the things inside of my head I don't understand them until they're outside of me and I can look at it. Right, I'm a talker, but I had to learn how to be a writer, right. And so do both talk about it with people, but also write down. Write down some bullet points. Even if you have a great conversation with somebody and you're like know what, I realize I need x, y and z.

Speaker 1:

Write it down yeah, write it down, and I think also you don't you can voice note it, talk it out and record it. You know so, because maybe writing isn't your thing and that's okay. But let me tell you something else. Pro tip, you put that junk on a voice note, upload to chat. Gpt chat will write it for you now, now and he'll Chat.

Speaker 2:

GPT is replacing me as Ruth Abigail's best friend. Listen, let me just say this. It's replacing all of us. Let me say this as Ruth Abigail's number one.

Speaker 1:

He's dependable. He'll be there for you in the midnight hour. First of all, personifying AI is crazy. But for real, though, for those who don't like, I get the jerk like or you don't have time because a lot of times I have, my thoughts are driving I think that that is good, but if you want it on paper and it's you, it's easy to transcribe it, you can put it through any, any kind of.

Speaker 1:

I mean, these things are available and I think we use them a lot of times for, like, being productive and work stuff, but you can do it for your personal life too. It can be helpful, because, I agree, I mean you got to get it out, um, and you, you got to put it out there.

Speaker 2:

Liz, yeah, that's good stuff. Yep, I think that we have given you guys a good start to your toolkit, but I think that there's so much more that can be expounded on, especially as you're going through life let's go over the toolkit.

Speaker 1:

All right, go through it, all right. So we got community for sure make sure your community's tight. Make sure you have a financial plan together. Make sure you're good on your spiritual grounding. Make sure you have established a safe place and make sure you're being thank you and make sure you're being self-aware okay so, um, but there might be other things for you. Yeah, right.

Speaker 2:

Right, listen, if you have something that you want to add to the toolkit, we want to know about it. Drop it in the chat, send us a direct message, put it in a story. We want to know what are you putting in your crisis emergency preparedness kit so that we can share with the community? Because, again, you all are part of our family, you're part of our community, and what we share together is what helps to strengthen us as we move moment to moment in these millennial streets.

Speaker 1:

My Lord, all right. That's it for now. Yeah, all right, good times, y'all Good times. So we will be with y'all later next week or something. All right, next week or something All right, but until then, let's keep unlearning together so that we can all experience more freedom, peace. Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast. We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode. Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think. We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom. See you then.

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