The UnlearnT Podcast
The UnlearnT Podcast is designed to help you gain the courage to change your mind about things you never thought you would change your mind about. Our hope is that you will begin to move towards a life of freedom after hearing stories from individuals who have chosen to unlearn some things in their lives.
The UnlearnT Podcast
Unlearning Gen Z: The Secret World of Teenagers with Tanaya (Memphis College Student)
In this candid conversation, host Ruth Abigail speaks with Taniya Adams, a college student she has known since third grade, about the unique challenges and perspectives of Generation Z.
• Finding identity amidst social media's influence and the pressure to know your purpose early
• Learning it's "okay to be not normal" and breaking free from the exhaustion of trying to fit in
• The reality of cancel culture and how it affects young people's lives
• Challenging stereotypes about Gen Z being lazy or always on their phones
• The importance of community in developing authentic self-understanding
• How older adults can support teenagers by having hard conversations without sugarcoating reality
• The disconnect between what high school teaches and what young people need for the "real world"
• Why Gen Z's ability to unite around important issues offers hope for the future
• Embracing difference: "We're born to be different. You're not supposed to be the same."
Don't forget to follow us on Facebook and Instagram to share your thoughts about this episode. We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom.
Hello everybody and welcome once again to the Unlearned Podcast. I'm your host, ruth Abigail, aka RA, and this is the podcast that is helping you gain the courage to change your mind so that you can experience more freedom. And, as you all know, we're in our series Unlearning Generation Z, so we've been talking to people who have either who either work with younger people or are younger people themselves, and today is no different. This is actually a really special episode because this young lady that I get to talk to today, that y'all get to hear from, I have known her since she was in third grade and is that true Third grade? That's crazy, isn't it? Yeah, yeah, that's crazy. And we got connected through Angel Street and she has grown up into this incredible young woman and I just absolutely love her, and y'all are going to love her too.
Speaker 1:Her name is Taniya Adams. Everybody welcome, taniya. Woo, yay, all right, woo, woo, woo. Okay, that's enough of that. So, taniya, so we have we've been talking about just this next generation, right, your generation and really having to do some unlearning, about making some assumptions about who you are, what you can do, what you believe, all this stuff, and you and I have had a ton of conversations about this. So first of all, I'd love to just just kind of start off by asking you know you're about to go into your second year of college, so you just graduated high school two years ago. You, um, and so you're kind of you're entering into the world at this point, like you're kind of entering into the space where you're on your own. You're gonna be living on a college campus. All this stuff, um, what, what are, what is it that you've been seeing differently, even in this last year, since you've been out of high school? How have you been seeing the world a little differently? What, what, what questions have you been asking that maybe you weren't asking?
Speaker 3:before. I've always been prepared, I'll say, not like in the real world, but like. I had questions that like I'm now still trying to figure out. Um, especially like financial trouble, like I don't know how to do taxes I don't know how to do taxes at all. So I'm having those questions and um trying to like figure out, like my identity. Still, it's been like a roller coaster trying to find my identity.
Speaker 1:Interesting. Okay, well, that's interesting, all right. Well, now you've introduced a new topic. All right, let's talk about that. Let's talk about identity, and when you say you're trying to find it, what do you mean?
Speaker 3:Hmm, say you're trying to find it, what do you mean? I feel like there's like so many things that you can learn about yourself and you have like I want people say that it's like a little, you have a little time to like figure it out, but it's like I want to figure it out now, now, what I am now, before I get like older, because I want to have myself together.
Speaker 3:I want to be able to like find my purpose, figure out what I want to do in life, in order for me to like actually move on to what that's like, something that's bigger than what I am now. I'm just starting off, so yeah.
Speaker 1:What. So, yeah, what makes you, what makes you want to do it now, like, what, what, what is? Because I think that those of us that are older, I 100% had, I had, I had that same mentality. It's like sometimes it's hard to go back and be in that mindset, cause you're like you don't need to know now, you don't need to know now. And that's really easy for those of us who seem like we know right, like and let me just spoiler alert, most of us do not like but, but it seems like that because it's like you know we Like, but, but it seems like that because it's like you know we, you've gotten to certain places in life or whatever. So what makes you want to know now? Like, why is it like I don't want to wait, I want to write, write, like what's driving that?
Speaker 3:I feel like I have a purpose. I believe everyone has a purpose. Yeah Me being able to like understand that I've been been put on, put on this earth to have a purpose I want to explore more with the identity that I've discovered. That's why I want to find my identity. I think it's really important to find your identity, to see like the person that you actually are, and perfect that aligns with that what's hard about finding your identity right now, like why is that?
Speaker 3:hard. This is like so like controversial when it comes to Gen Z people. I think we get influenced by social media a lot when we're finding our identity. It's like so tied in together and I believe that's what's like hindering it, because we see something on the internet and we think, oh, that relates to me. In reality it doesn't. You just think that way because you're trying to be like socially involved. In reality, you're born to be different.
Speaker 1:That's hold on, we're going, we're going to pause, cause that was a, that was a bar. You want to be socially involved, but a reality. You're born to be different. That's good. That's good man. That's good because that's true. We're born to be different. You're not supposed to be the same. Well, how, how have you struggled with that personally?
Speaker 3:oh, um, uh, middle school, um, very different for me. I, uh, I fit the stereotype of most like uh kids that was in like a poor community and I didn't have those stereotypes. I, I think I was felt over educated, but but, um, actually, like I had to take a step in when I was in high school, especially in 10th grade year, when I found out that like hey, it's okay to be not normal. You don't have to fit in, and in middle school I always like, was taught to like fit in.
Speaker 3:So, being able to explore that out and not do it anymore. It's like a huge change for me.
Speaker 1:Wow, is it more freeing for you.
Speaker 3:It is more freeing actually. Yeah, I love doing myself. It was very tiring trying to uh fit the social norms. So being able to like not do that it's more, freer and I have like actual, true people that care about me so it's fun.
Speaker 1:Do you find that um and people, your uh, your friends and your peers you said middle school was when you were trying to fit in the most Tenth grade, you realize I don't have to fit in and now you're freer in your skin, is that? How long do you feel like it takes? Or, you know, takes people, that other people that you see, do you feel like a lot of your friends are still trying to figure that out, or they've gotten that way too about this time? What are you seeing as far as your peer group, as far as that journey for them?
Speaker 3:I think they're trying to still figure it out. People need to be more self-aware. I think it's because I'm more self-aware about how I feel and like what I'm doing. I think when people actually get the time to actually like realize what they're doing and take accountability for the stuff that that's not really them, I think it would be a great impact. Yeah.
Speaker 1:Why? Why were you? Why was the journey different for you? What made the difference? What made you more self-aware? Like why? Why do you feel like that was that's your story and not a lot of other people's around you?
Speaker 3:Because, even though I tried to fit the social norms, I was still different. Like the stuff that I did, I was still different. Like the stuff that I did, I was still different. And I had to like realize that, like, no matter what I do, I'm just going to be Taniya, I'm not going to be a.
Speaker 1:Rebecca or a Lindsay or any other people, it's just me yeah, and you just, you're just finding, you're just figuring out who you you figured, you figured out in 10th grade. I'm not like y'all, yeah, and and and I'm okay with that. I. It sounds like, though, a lot of people struggle with the second part. I'm okay with that. Of people struggle with the second part. I'm okay with that. Yeah, how did you get to the place where you were not just understanding that you were different, but understanding and just saying like, and I'm okay with that. Like, how did you get there?
Speaker 3:well, that's a that's a good question. I like actually have no clue. Um, I think me surrounding myself with people that cares about me and still like, still like me for who I am, I think that was like a huge key. Like me doing like the after school program, like angel street, and then me doing clubs in high school and doing theater and actually finding, uh, finding new friends and real friends, I think that's uh, that's what made me realize that it's okay to be different.
Speaker 1:I love being myself so community has made the difference. Yes, in that um huge difference. Huh is do you feel like you feel like community is hard for for your generation?
Speaker 3:it depends okay on what it depends. Um, I feel like a lot of gen z-ers are very different when it comes to things. Um, for community, for me, I was kind of born in it, but you know, you know I was born in it, but sure, yeah. But I think for gen zers I would say kind of actually, yeah, I would say, would say kind of it, okay, yeah, it's, it's hard to be in a community, but at the same time, no, actually that's a hard question. I'm sorry.
Speaker 1:It's a hard question. I, I think, a lot of like when we were one of the things I've heard a lot from particularly girls in their 14, 15, 16, when talking to them it's like I want to do this program because I don't really talk to anybody, I don't really have any friends, I don't need to get to know more people, that's like a common thing and it's like, why is that?
Speaker 1:And it's like I don't really do anything. I just it's like I don't really do anything. I just go home and I don't really do anything. Right, is this something? I mean, am I off? Like is this something that you hear, that you know to be true? Yeah, I'm just like why is that? Why do you think that is? Why is it that there is not a desire? Or maybe the desire comes later to really like connect with people?
Speaker 3:I think it's because of the nervousness. I think, being shy, I was very shy and I didn't want to talk to people. I was kind of like by myself, but fomo. Fomo happened, but like you're missing out.
Speaker 3:That's what made me want to like have friends, kind of like by myself, but FOMO, fomo happened, but like you're missing out. That's what made me want to like have friends. Okay, I wanted to be like oh, I wanted to be the teenagers that are in the movies. I don't want to be just stuck home. So I did that.
Speaker 1:Yeah, what movie were you? Were you wanting to be like High School Musical? High School Musical. I knew you was going to say that, golly, High School Musical, y'all love some High School Musical. Yeah, that's really interesting. So, kind of in that same vein, you said shy, make, just not you know what, what are, and you said, like the fear, fear of missing out, is real. Um, what other fears or pressures do you feel like your generation has to deal with?
Speaker 3:not, or do you deal with not fitting in yeah, not fitting in, or again, like I like trying to figure yourself out. I mean, we're teenagers, we don't know what we're doing and we haven't like matured enough to like understand what we're doing. We're just kind of like going with the flow of things and I think us being scared of like what the future has for us. That's. That's where the challenge is at right now. I've talked to like a lot of my friends and like people, especially like older people, about like even you I talked to you about these things that like I'm actually like we're actually scared of what would happen in the future, like I don't know what would happen. I mean, no one knows. But it's more scarier because I'm I'm actually in the real world. Like this is my first time being in the real world yeah, and it's scary, it is scary, it's scary.
Speaker 1:What scares you the most about it? The unknown. Is it you not being prepared for it? Is it like? What is it being?
Speaker 3:prepared, not being prepared for it. Okay, look, I'm used to knowing a lot of things and like they don't actually teach you in high school about the real world. That's like the sad part about it. Teach you in high school about the real world that's like the sad part about it. So it's like. It's like I don't, I don't know. I don't know what I'm doing. I don't know how to pay taxes. I don't know how to do none of this. I don't know how to budget yeah I do.
Speaker 3:You taught me how to budget, but, but you've never done it. You haven't done it in real time yet?
Speaker 1:yeah, I haven't done it real time yet. Right, yeah, that's real. Um, this is so interesting. You've never done it. You haven't done it in real time yet. Yeah, I haven't done it in real time yet. Right, yeah, that's real. This is so interesting. You've mentioned taxes twice and I find that to be hysterical. Like, I feel like taxes is like something that's on your mind.
Speaker 3:It's the most silly thing ever. I'm scared of taxes. I don't like money at all.
Speaker 1:You gotta learn to like money've.
Speaker 3:I've heard so many stories when it comes to like people going to jail for not doing their taxes and I'm like what if I? Forget to do my taxes.
Speaker 1:I don't know how that works oh no, I don't want that to happen to you. That's actually. It's a fair thought. Like I know, at some point I have probably felt those things Like what if I turn them in late? Or like what if I do them wrong? You know what I'm saying. Like that's real stuff. Like that's real, I mean shoot even. Sometimes a day I'd be like, oh, I don't know the answer to this question, but you have to like, I think I think this important for us to remember like, yeah, like y'all are, you're 18 and you said something really important earlier we don't know what we're doing. Like, we don't know what we're doing. What is it that? What do you wish you learned from adults outside of academics and school? Throw that away. What is it that you wish you learned from adults at an earlier age to prepare you for life right now?
Speaker 3:I I wish I've learned that everything took time. Like everything takes time. It's really important to like be patient, because everything is not, and then also, on top of that, like always have like a plan a and plan b. My mom taught me that, but I really didn't listen because, again, I'm a teenager, yeah, but, um, have a plan a and plan b. I think it's really important because you will never know what happened. And something that you actually taught me, uh, at a older age, is to like always be prepared and always like, even though you what you do, like what you want to do, and it doesn't go your way, you always have to have another plan so you can figure it out. So there's no such thing as this is not going to happen yeah and that that's like a.
Speaker 3:That's a big takeaway that I took from having a conversation with you that I wish I learned earlier, when I was in high school.
Speaker 1:I think that's, I think that's really important. I think that the the thing I might ask you to kind of do a deep dive into the world of an 18 year old, and what I mean by that is if, if an adult was a fly on the wall with a group of 10, 17, 18, 19 year olds, what are they going to hear? See, what, what's going to surprise them and shock them, and what is going to what's going to surprise and shock them, and what is going to, um, what's going to surprise and shock them, what is something that they're going to, not, they're going to be like I had no idea. I'm gonna. I want you to answer that, but first I want I, I would love for you to, because you, I think one of the things, then, that you've been alluding to is, um, having the benefit of adults in your life that you have learned from. Um, what, what is, what makes an adult easy to learn from?
Speaker 3:um, I think this is going to sound so weird, but them being older, like y'all experienced this before. I haven't. This is my first time, so having a conversation with an adult that experienced this before it can kind of like get me more ease. Like it won't be less stressful because I already know someone that did it yeah, yeah, what about adults?
Speaker 1:and maybe I, I, what, that's not what I'm trying to say what about, um, what makes an adult easy to talk to? Easy to talk to, yeah, like what? What characteristics, like cause I think? I think a lot of it. It can be intimidating on both ends for adults to communicate with young people and for young people to communicate with adults, right, so, but I think because we're older and they're, you know, the, the, the people who are older, I think, bear the burden of making sure that the connection is there. So how do you, how would you, advise older adults to approach or be approachable for young people so that they can have the benefit of connection and learn from them and learn from them?
Speaker 3:Oh, that's a, that's a question. I'm like I was gonna say don't sugarcoat things, but like I want you to like be nice. Of course you're approachable. Of course you're approachable, like I feel like knowing that okay, it's so hard to explain, but, um, as like a young, younger person, knowing that I have a mentor or a person that is there for me, it makes them more approachable. I don't want, I don't want the person that it's like I'm connected to to sugarcoat things. Yeah, the people, things I'm still going to be like, oh, this is going to happen, this is going to happen. In reality it's not going to happen. Just like, be real with me and tell me like how it actually is, so I can actually be prepared. It's all about preparedness that's real man.
Speaker 1:You think, yeah, I, yeah, I, um, we were just you and I. We just did a conversation with a bunch of new teachers, right, um, at, uh, at a class, a college classroom, like she, you already talking to college students, man, look you, you, look you going somewhere, um, but, uh, but one of the things that we talked about there was like tell young people the truth, right, like you need to. It's important to tell folks the truth, um, and I, I mean you, do you feel like there's been a lot of time, a lot of you feel like there's been moments in your life where you do feel like you were lied to or lied might be a strong word, but you weren't told the whole truth or you. It was colored in a way that's like it was too. It was colored up like you know. You know what I mean. Yeah, like what? What's? What's an example of that for you? An example oh, wow, what did you have to unlearn that? Somebody taught you that you were like that's not even right.
Speaker 3:Oh, the financial things Having a credit card.
Speaker 3:Like yeah, I know right, having a credit card. I don't have a credit card now, but someone had to actually say something to me about it. But my teacher he was was like having a credit card is going to be very hard, but if you want to, like, get a house and get an apartment or get a car, make sure you do these steps so you can have good credit. In reality, that's not true. It's not true at all. It was like, make sure you put, put, um, put like stuff that like bills that you'd pay for, that you normally pay for, on a credit card, so you can get good credit because you're technically paying for it. And I'm like no, please, no, that's not true I see your face, I see your face.
Speaker 1:It's like oh, no, well, because that stuff, like that, you know it grinds. It's like no, no, no, no, no, no. Don't tell people that. Please don't tell people that that's not true. Um, that's a great example because, again, the sugarcoating, like the reality is, is what he's saying do people do? Um, do people like get, do people get those things by doing it that way? Yes, but the other side of that truth is they get so deep into debt that you can't live. It's like, yeah, you, you know you have the car, you have the house, you have the things you want because your credit score is high, but then you can't't. You can't do what you really want to do, you're stuck and you gotta pay all these people back. So, like to your point. It's a great example of tell me both sides, like don't, don't just tell me this, like tell me all of it, right, um, yeah, uh, okay, so I, I want to pivot to this.
Speaker 1:This is something that I I really you and I we've had so many conversations and we were in the car and I was just kind of asking you about certain things I've heard about, but I was like is to educate a little bit. I read a book. It's an older book. I'm blanking on the name right now, but essentially it talked about the underworld of teenagers and how there is a world that teens don't let adults in. You're never going to know what's really going on, and I want, I would love for you to give a sneak peek, give a trailer to a movie. Right, if you want it, if you want it to get adults to come see a movie about the underworld of teenagers. What would be in the trailer that you'd want them to know?
Speaker 3:Oh wow, teenagers, what would be in the trailer that you'd want them to know? Oh wow, I think what's so hard I I honestly think a trailer, okay, trailer. Um, like friendship, love, like love life, all of it? There's no, I would never want my mom to know about my love life or what I have troubles with my friends.
Speaker 1:Myself. Okay, okay, um, all right. What about love, life and friends? Would be something that older adults would not necessarily expect for teens to go through, particularly teens in your generation.
Speaker 3:Oh, wow, I was like more. We're actually like very sensitive. I'm, I'm sensitive, I'm sensitive, but um, I think, yeah, like we're, we're actually like more sensitive than other people think I think it's because we show more emotion but we don't show it out as much, because I think we're put into a society that it's weird to show off emotion. So us being by ourselves showing that emotion and not telling other people about it, I think that's what makes a huge deal breaker. I know, like multiple times when my mom saw me like visibly upset, but I didn't say anything. I was like, oh, I'm fine, I'm fine. In reality I'm not. I mean, she knows me very well, but it's like I don't want to talk about it because, um, I don't feel like it's, I'm like comfortable enough to like actually tell you, because I feel like you don't feel like I'm comfortable enough to actually tell you Because I feel like you wouldn't understand.
Speaker 1:But you talk about it with your peers.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 1:Yeah, yeah, and you all are going to figure it out in a way that together, yeah, what is? Figure it out in a way that together, yeah, um, what is all right, let's, let's go to um. Different things right now about your generation that you think are, are, are, are truly different, like, um, than other generations. What, what can, what can you? Can you say, like, hey, this is something that we go through, that generations before us just did not have to really deal with? Cancel culture, man interesting.
Speaker 3:Wow it's, it's horrible cancer culture and we put ourselves in that situation. It's like our generation is too sensitive for things and we don't understand that like people are human, like you're, you're sending like hateful things. You have to realize that like they're human too, like you, yeah, you, you sitting hate. It doesn't define. It doesn't define that you're a good person. It doesn't make you a good person. It still makes you, you know. It still makes you you. But it won't make you a good of a person if you're sitting hate because that person did something won't make you a good of a person if you're sending hate because that person did something.
Speaker 1:That's what's the. What's the last.
Speaker 3:Who's the last person?
Speaker 1:that was canceled, that you don't think it was fair that they were canceled?
Speaker 3:okay, oh my gosh, uh have you watched love island.
Speaker 1:you know, you know, I haven't, you know, I have never seen it.
Speaker 3:Love Island is a reality TV show that is based on people finding love. It's in the name and they're on this island, they're in Fiji, trying to figure things out, trying to explore connections. This one particular person her name is huda she's giving, she's getting a lot of hate right now. People are calling her a crash out because, uh, of how she responded to somebody. Uh, I won't say like basically love bombing her, but like being a little different and a lot of people are hating that.
Speaker 3:A lot of people like my generation, my generation this is what I don't like about my generation but like a lot of people sent hate to her. They like called cps on her, on her, they, they like they. And then, on top of that, it's like like they go to the extreme, like if you don't like a person, if they don't like a person, they'll do like more than that. There's like instance where people got CPS called on them, people got called, people got ICE called on them, when they're like actually like. They're actually like born in america, they're just a different race, like there's like stuff like that, that that happens, that like canceled culture cause, and it's like people don't actually see it until like you actually like live it so it's, it's really, it's really bad. And then they also like send like bad, like threats to people that they don't like and it's like there's no reason for you to do that. They're, they're actual. They're actual real people.
Speaker 1:My understanding of like the way cancel culture started is people making an attempt to call out bad behavior from people who we know and love and have, like you know, become famous for certain things, whatever. But it's like something came up from their past and that's and it was wrong, genuine wrong things, right, saying the N word, doing something inappropriate with women you know, truly bad things, like, and it's like they did these things, so everything else that they've ever done. We cancel it. They forget it, it doesn't, it doesn't matter. You've done, you've done these horrible things in your past. So all the things you're doing right now don't matter anymore. And we're going to, we decided, we're going to get rid of you, right, and that's the idea of this cancel culture and it's like an attempt to right a wrong in a wrong way.
Speaker 1:Like, do you feel like, do you feel like your generation? I think the beautiful thing about younger generations we all had this, we all had this. Um, what's the word I'm looking for? Energy, this. You know, we are zealous in a in a way, like you know, we're, we're all about whatever we're about, we're all about it, right, and that's a cool thing, that's a great thing. You need that, um, what do you think it's going to take to kind of balance this a little bit Right Cause people's lives have really been, I mean, ruined, uh, forever, and I'm not sure that that's fair, right, um. And but your generation, I mean you're right, like cancel culture is real and it's very prevalent and it's still prevalent and it's getting worse. I mean, it seems like I don't know, you feel like it's?
Speaker 3:getting worse.
Speaker 1:Yes, yeah. So what do you? What would you say would be a solution to that?
Speaker 3:um, good question, I think I. I think that that's actually a good question. Oh my gosh, I think it will, I think it would. Um, I think something that will fix it is when actually gen z people realize that people are human too and things happen, not saying that like they don't have they. They can like forget about the bad things that people did, but don't take it a notch, just um, just like, be like hey, that was bad, you should take accountability for this and then apologize. Yeah, not like actually like send like um death threats or like yeah doxing people.
Speaker 3:Don't. Don't do that. You don't need to do that. Just be like hey, you did this. Take accountability and say sorry and apologize to the community that you hurt. There's no sense or there's no need for people to dox people or send threats to people and harm other people's family because you don't simply like the stuff that they did. We have to realize that mistakes happen and we're all human. We just have to take accountability accountability for what we did yeah, what do you think that?
Speaker 1:what's something that adults assume about gen z? That's not true that were lazy, you sure I don't know. I don't know, I ain't gonna lie to you sometimes, sometimes you positive, because sometimes I don't know. I've been thinking that I think that sometimes, why do you say that like what?
Speaker 3:okay, back it up, okay um, this is going to be such a bad example. But example Example my mom. My mom. She'll say that like, oh, you forgot to clean up downstairs, and she doesn't even look. She doesn't even look, she just goes upstairs, she's tired from work, she doesn't look around. So she'll be like, oh, don't forget to take out the trash. And I'm like, oh, it's already done. And then she like sees, like when I get done cleaning up, like I clean up my room, it like helps me, like it keeps, like it keeps me peace when I clean up my room. So when she sees one sock on the floor that I forgot to pick up, she'll'll be like, oh, you're so lazy. And I'm like, no, I just forgot to pick it up. Like, give me credit, that's me, give me credit.
Speaker 1:That's fantastic, that's great. Yeah, all right, I get that. That's fair, and sometimes parents can go overboard um with that, but you said something. You said. You know she's frustrated or not frustrated. She's tired, right, tired from, yeah, from work. So she, yeah that that makes sense what, what other reasons out outside of um parents, like and what other reasons would you say, like it's important, like we're not lazy? Give me some other examples. How would you, how would you prove that out in an argument? Because I got some examples and I don't know yeah, I'm not.
Speaker 3:I'm not really much of a debater, uh, I think. I think, uh, the job industry I'll say we had this conversation before. A lot of Gen Z people are not getting hired for the job that they should work at, like the movie theaters or a grocery store and stuff like that, because we're simply just young and they don't know the potential that we actually have. You would never know that I, I, um, I actually one of my values are actually teamwork. You wouldn't know that unless you actually know me. But if you see me like around, like roundabout, you'd be like, oh, she's quiet and it's like, no, it's not true.
Speaker 3:I'm actually like very outgoing, I like talking to people, I'm actually really nice. Things like that you couldn't tell by a person. You only make an assumption based on how they look. You're not really thinking about the personality that they have. I think when it comes to jobs and stuff, having someone older, you'll think that they're more wiser, they know how to do things, except for like a gen z person who just got into the real world and not knowing what they do. Or you think, oh, they always be on their phone and they wouldn't do nothing in reality. People are people are not like that, and some gen z are actually very productive.
Speaker 1:Yeah they actually touch.
Speaker 1:Yeah, they actually touch grass, they actually touch grass we don't, we don't, you're not, oh, that's you know what, and I think that's another you're not always on your phones. That is very true. Oh for bet, I'll tell you, boy, I'll be seeing some and it's like yo, like like you gotta chill, you gotta chill, it's okay, it won't kill you to let it go, but everybody's not like that, right, um? I think that is. I think that is important, and I do think that that is something that adults have to unlearn about Gen Z that you know, always on your phone.
Speaker 1:I was just having another conversation with somebody, um, and what she? She was saying she bought her alarm clock. She bought a real alarm clock for the first time, and so she doesn't use the alarm on her phone because she's like I don't even want it by me anymore, I have to get rid of it. And so she bought a real alarm clock and it's like she's in her, she's 24. So she's, she's out here. She's like I don't, I'm not trying to be around my phone all the time. What's what's? Another assumption that people make about Gen Z? That's not true. In your opinion. They're lazy, they always want to be on their phones. These are not necessarily true. What's something else?
Speaker 3:They're not productive. I'm always productive. You know me, you are. I can say that I want to do things.
Speaker 3:I don't want to be in home like at home all the time I actually like picked up hobbies that I would never thought I would do, like crocheting, damn. I would never expect for me to say I, I had to like, honestly, I, I had to like be like oh, I don't want to be in my phone a lot of times, or I don't want to, I don't want to do something productive with my life. If I'm sitting at home and I don't have my phone near me, I'm just gonna like crochet and just listen to music or like be, be even in silence, be in silence and like crochet. Some some uh gen z kids, they like books, they like to read books all the time.
Speaker 3:To like be more productive, I like to go out with like friends or like help, help around a big thing that I did when I was in, uh, my senior year. I volunteered a lot because I wanted to stay productive, I wanted to do something, I wanted to get off, I want to get on my feet. I didn't want to sit down and layer around all day that's you.
Speaker 1:I think you really just help some people because, let's be honest, myself included, we definitely have put that stereotype on y'all. They don't want to do nothing, they just want to be on their phones. They lazy, they don't be outside, y'all just go outside and play. Y'all do be outside, you be inside. And they don't. You know they don't be outside, y'all just go outside and play. Y'all do be outside. Like you know you be inside too, and I think that's, I think that's really helpful for people to know like not maybe some are that way, but all are not like that, and I think I think it's like, hey, give, give them a chance, give them a chance to prove you wrong and to actually prove like it's not the way you think it is. It's a different understanding.
Speaker 1:I want to go back to the identity thing real quick, because I think this would help and I think a lot of older people have a lot of questions about the identity struggle, and you mentioned it earlier in the conversation about how a lot of the struggle is, because you see a lot of stuff on social media and you're it's like, maybe I'm supposed to be like this, maybe I'm supposed to be like that, maybe I'm supposed to like this, and you're having to kind of wrestle with that in your brain. How have you seen? No, let me reverse that. What? What do you think is one of the most important things for both, most important ways that adults can support teenagers in figuring out their identity?
Speaker 3:that's a good question. I honestly don't have a clue. I don't, I don't know.
Speaker 1:I love that answer.
Speaker 3:Ask the question again. Okay, all right.
Speaker 1:How can adults support teenagers as they find their identity?
Speaker 3:I think one is having those hard conversations. I think one is having those hard conversations, um, I think, honestly, people need to take a step back and realize that like, how, uh, how, like the um how the brain like can like trick you in so many ways.
Speaker 3:Uh, yeah, I think, I think, like, think, like, yeah, having those hard conversations, actually having a conversation, and being like, oh, how are you feeling, how, how, how this is you know that half of that stuff is not true right?
Speaker 3:There's like so many times that I compared myself to people that I see on social media because of, like, the fear of missing out and the standards that's, um, that's in society, and it's like I don't know if I should be that way because they're getting a lot of attention, because they're like, they're, they're, they're that way. But you see, like a bunch of you see a thousand people being the same way and it's you, it's. It kind of makes you, it kind of makes you think if you should be that way because it's popular, not because you like it, but because it's popular. And I think having those conversations with your kids would be a huge thing for them also, supporting them in many ways, being like, oh hey, even if you don't like it, because a lot of generations think differently, we just supporting them in any way, any cause, it will make them.
Speaker 1:You know, I don't know if I'm answering your question or not. You are answering my question I. I want to. I want to dive a little deeper. You said so. What is out there, or has been out there during your journey of growing up, that has had its popular or trendy moments, that you've seen a lot of people in your generation connect? And I have false identity too.
Speaker 3:We'll say it like that, um, and that also might be hard for parents to talk about yeah, um honestly, or other adults, not just parents, but older adults yeah, honestly, I think I've seen, like during during, especially during COVID, a lot of like aesthetics, the way like you present yourself and also religion, was like one of like people that are christian convert to spirituality, not knowing what they're doing. They just did it because it was popular and they thought it was cool because other people was also doing it.
Speaker 3:It was very popular at the time to own rocks and and evil eyes and stuff like that, not knowing the uh, not knowing this, the uh, the history behind those things. And then when it comes to aesthetics, it's it's like they, they I feel like a lot of uh, a lot of my generation. They're like more so when it comes to aesthetics, they don't do it because they fit it, they do it because it's popularized. Okay, a lot of things like also like the dark aesthetic, like goth. A lot of Gen Z people would do that because it's getting attention.
Speaker 3:They wouldn't do it because they actually like it yeah.
Speaker 1:Keep going. What else can you think of? This is good, I think this is going to help people. What else? What are there? Some trends that are like people have to unlearn is really a really real for people for a lot? Like it might be for some, but for most, sometimes it just is a a phase that they're having to kind of work Like I wouldn't say work through, but just like pass through, like, hey, this is just what, this is just part of it. And what are some other examples? You said aesthetics, religion. I think that's big yeah.
Speaker 3:Dang. I was going gonna say even like sexuality yeah, for sure yeah, like sexuality and gender.
Speaker 3:Yep, you wouldn't people think it's popular. In reality it's, you know. I mean, unless you want to like explore that out more, I understand that, but just doing it because people are getting attention for it, that that's what makes it a difference. I've seen like a lot of people that like it's like they didn't even explore it. They just been like, oh, I'm this, and I'm like how did? How did you? How did you find out that she was that? Yeah, and they're like oh, I just saw it online. Oh my gosh, I have a story for you, okay let's go.
Speaker 3:I was on the phone. I was on the phone with my friend. He's a boy and on social media he was getting like a lot of like LGBTQ content and it was like saying like, oh, if you do these things, then that means you're homosexual. And and then he called me. He was like Sanaya, I think I'm, I think I'm a homo, I'm thinking I'm a homosexual and I'm like how do you know that? And he was like, because he talked to me and I was like do you like boys? And he was like no, ew, no, like us now. But I'm like you're not, you're not, you're not homosexual, you're not, you're not.
Speaker 3:Because, TikTok told me yeah, that was like literally the phrase that he said. And I'm like dude, you've never talked to a boy, not once when I was, when I was friends with you. I've been friends with you for like five years, like but is that okay, that's like that's?
Speaker 1:is that story fairly common for people Like? Not necessarily for that same like topic, but for like because TikTok said it.
Speaker 3:This must be what I am or yeah, especially for the younger community.
Speaker 1:Yes, the younger Gen Z folks, the younger Gen Z folks yes, man, Um, that's scary, Honestly, like if I'm being like, that's scary, and and then you go and then you, like, you just live out those things that you don't even really want to do. Yeah, that's not even really who you are. How did um so? Yeah, that's not even really who you are. How how did um so? Talk a little bit about your relationship with God as a person in this generation, because I know that's been a journey for you and, like you know, yeah, I know it's been a journey for you and I I don't want, I don't want to put um. Would you say that having a relationship God has helped you with understanding who you are a little bit more? Yeah, Okay, Talk, talk to me about that. Why, Like, how has that helped? Okay, talk to me about that. Why?
Speaker 3:Like, how has that helped? Honestly, I've been in like so many situations where I honestly had him. Just I just have to say like, oh, just let him take the will and guide me to like an actual safe place. There's a lot of like instances where he did and it honestly I didn't think that he was actually guiding me to the right place. I just thought he was making it worse.
Speaker 3:But I had to realize that, like it had, it had to, like they had to make me show who I actually am and actually know my worth. I didn't know my worth at the time. I didn't know if I was, if I was, um, this big of a worth. I didn't know my worth at the time. I didn't know if I was, if I was, um, this big of a person.
Speaker 3:I didn't know that I I always look down on myself and being able for him to like take the will and be like you. Actually, you're actually worth something, you have a purpose that would make like a big change about how I feel about him and like everything else that's been happening in my life. I had to be grateful for what I had, because I didn't, I didn't know I was, that I was, um, I had such a amazing life, even though there's no such thing as being perfect, even though it's not perfect, it's still. It's still a life to live and it's good to like actually understand that and have that mentality now.
Speaker 1:Since then, yeah, that that's. That's honestly beautiful. Um, how, how would you? Um, so I, I, we got we're gonna have to stop this conversation because we, I could ask you questions all day, and you know this, because you know we'd be riding around the car for and I'd be asking questions all day. Um, so, uh, as we up, um, tell me what makes you hopeful about your generation. And for, for those older adults who don't have as much hope they're like I don't think we, I don't think I think we're in trouble. How, how would you encourage them about your generation?
Speaker 3:would you encourage them about your generation? Honestly, I feel like people need to realize that Gen Z, we're actually a good community. We're actually a good community. We come together for things and I think it's because we're younger. We see the troubles, we see how America is, we see how everything is around the world. We understand that and we try to do so much things to make it better. And I think people need to like actually like see that a lot of Gen Z um, they did protests, they even like tried to educate people that are that are not very much much educated on a situation and being able to actually have a generation like that, it should be very hopeful to know that, like, our future is going to be good. We know how we, we know the issues and we're trying to solve it the best we can. We want our voices to be heard. We don't want to be closed off. We want our voices to be heard. We want to be loud enough for bigger power to hear.
Speaker 1:Yeah, that's awesome man, I love that and I agree, I think I love that. You said we know how to come together. I think that's very powerful, um, and that's a very powerful trait for a generation. Like we know how to come together, we know how to rally and we know how to be loud for the things that are important, and we're going to be out here doing that and, um, a lot of people are too scared to do it, um, but I think, I think your generation has has has also in a lot of ways I've seen it like um created less fear in older people to do things, and I think that's beautiful. Um, man, that's good. Okay, all right. Last thing, if you had one other thing maybe that wasn't said or that you um want to like double down on what is? What is it that you want people to unlearn about your generation?
Speaker 3:We don't fit the social norms. Because we want to be different, we realized that it's okay to be different. A lot of gen z people are not trying to fit the social norm, so if you see a person that doesn't look like a model or a perfect person, it's because they want to be different and they know that they're different and that's what makes them perfect yeah, come on bars, I liked it.
Speaker 1:Yeah, okay, yeah, thank you, taniya, for coming on the show.
Speaker 3:Not really. It was my pleasure.
Speaker 1:I enjoyed it okay, this is your first podcast. Yes, yeah, look at you. You couldn't even tell you were so comfortable. I didn't even know, I wasn't even sure. Perfect, you had no reason to be nervous, man. This was great, all right y'all. Well, thank you again for listening and we will be back, but until then, let's keep unlearning together so that we can experience more freedom. Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast. We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode. Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think. We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom. See you then.
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