The UnlearnT Podcast
The UnlearnT Podcast is designed to help you gain the courage to change your mind about things you never thought you would change your mind about. Our hope is that you will begin to move towards a life of freedom after hearing stories from individuals who have chosen to unlearn some things in their lives.
The UnlearnT Podcast
Beyond Reasonable Doubt: Building Relationships that Endure (The Second Act)
Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.
A faith-filled love story moves from a college class pairing to a covenant tested by recession, a house fire, and an autism diagnosis, and rises into purpose as two attorneys build a family and a firm rooted in prayer. We close our season with gratitude, hard-won clarity, and a living template for a second act.
• God as matchmaker guiding a campus connection into covenant
• “Jesus dating” and boundaries that built trust
• Proposal before dating and why care proved commitment
• Law school grind, early marriage, first pregnancy
• Recession, bar exam delays, and choosing family first
• House fire and autism diagnosis reframing their script
• Language, prayer, and practical teaching unlocking breakthroughs
• Maya’s prophetic moments and the arrival of twins
• Home as sanctuary and kids leading in faith
• Career redemption, multi-state licensure, and launching the firm
• Marriage as mutual service and daily anticipation
• Gratitude as the posture of the second act
Thank you for like, sharing, and subscribe
Go ahead, babe. We are located at 810 Dutch Square Boulevard, suite 206, Columbia, South Carolina, 29210. Our office number is 803-339-1661. Our website is www.smallfirmsc.com
What's up, everybody? Welcome back to the Element Podcast. This is your girl Jaqueta back with another episode of the Second Act. This is the place where we reflect on where we've been so we can redefine our now and rewrite our next friends. I have my people on here with me today, okay? Two of the besties, okay? One I've known since a young girl at the middle school in eighth grade. Then he married this amazing, beautiful, phenomenal woman that you see on the screen, okay? Listen, they are you gotta say it, okay? She is that girl. And he alright. But nevertheless, I'm just playing. I'm just playing.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, but look what you pulled, though. Look what I pulled.
SPEAKER_03:Look what you pulled, though. Okay. Look what you pulled though. And that's what matters, okay? She upgraded you. But nevertheless, uh, these are two of my greatest friends that I super duper cherish. Um, they are lawyers, okay? So when I tell people don't play with me, I got two in the bag, okay? I give you a two for one special. Somebody try to come at me funny, right? They're lawyers, they're parents, uh, their sisters, their brothers. They are uh a man, a woman of God. And I am super excited to introduce you guys to my friends Samuel Andre Small and Brandy Small. Say what's up to the people, y'all. What's up, people? Yay! What? Uh listen, me and Andre go way, way, way back. Okay. Way. How about one for every five years? Way, way, way, way, way back.
SPEAKER_01:Right. Well, we can talk about that later, but talking about it way back. So my barber, who's Gen Z or no, he's he's Gen Alpha, maybe I don't know at this point. Don't be fooled up with them, young and I was like, I'm coasting that ump status. He's like, Oh no, I started talking about the the dial up and phone book and something. He's talking about something, oh, you're an old G. What minute? Like I said, wait a minute. Oh, wait. I said, wait a minute. No, he said, oh man, I forgave you um because I was trying to be generous. You know, if he said shut up. Oh, and then he remptly reminded me that I was his mom and dad's age. I said, okay.
SPEAKER_03:Oh, but disrespect. Yes, disrespect. Listen, I try to correct people real quickly, okay? I'm a middle adult, not middle aged. Okay. There's a difference.
SPEAKER_02:There's a difference.
SPEAKER_03:Middle adult, okay. I'm not a young adult no more. I left that around about 35. Okay. Middle adult. Okay, let's get it right. Um, and most of our most of our viewers are also middle adults. The young adults starting to come in, though. They're starting to creep in on us though. Um so people who understand our struggle. I want to know what y'all are being called that day. You know, I I went from being like, you know, you like an auntie to, you know, you're really like a mother figure for me, you know. And I'm just like, well. And then when I meet their moms, their moms are like, girl, I'm gonna call you. You know, we can be friends. And I'm like, Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. It's my new reality. Uh, speaking of parents, listen, y'all, my they're gonna tell you the whole story, okay? But I really want you guys to know, uh, when I thought about uh people that I wanted on the podcast, I had Andre and Brandy's Samuel Andre Small. That's the way he first introduced himself to me in the eighth grade, y'all. I was sitting next to him in the band room. And he said, Hi, my name is Samuel Andre Small. I was like, all right, Samuel Andre Small. Brandy. One name, Samuel.
SPEAKER_01:Listen.
SPEAKER_03:Listen. So I'm gonna call him Andre from here on out. But uh uh he his whole name is Samuel Andre Small. Okay. Um but I they have such a magnificent story. God has done, when I tell you guys, so many things in their lives, in their marriage, um, with their family. Um, I mean, we we could literally be on here for hours, but producer joy ain't having it. Um, we could literally, she she gonna cut it. Okay, so if y'all see me say, all right, well, we're gonna wrap it up, it's because producer joy might have given us a signal. But their story is just so full of how God has shown himself to just be mighty in their lives and to transition them. I mean, the the name of the show is the second act, but I feel like Andre and Brandy have like a third act, a fourth act, a fifth act, you know, just multiple stages where God has transitioned you, almost taking you from a place where it felt really, really still and just like zoomed you forward into another realm of living. Um, and so I want you guys, either one of you, can start um and talking about how did you meet? Talk about the talk about the origin story. I want to hear it again.
SPEAKER_01:You're gonna start, Brandon.
SPEAKER_04:No, I will I'll just say this. Um, I'll let you do that, um, Dre, but it was so funny. We were leaving um the courthouse in York this week, and it dawned on me that Andre and I will have been together 20 years this year. Um, I know. Look, I was like, oh my gosh. And then so I go scrolling um like on my Facebook or my pictures or something, and I see like the first time we went to like the black and gold ball and um all these things, and I was like, it's really been 20 years. Um, so yeah, it's 20 years. Wouldn't change the whole world, but it's definitely 20 years.
SPEAKER_03:Listen, I love telling people like I got I got friends who've been married since 2010, okay. Like, listen, okay. I love it. Andre's the romantic teller of stories, so he is well. Especially when he talks about his booth.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, I know. Listen, so went to Waffle College. Brandy's actually a year older than I am, so it's um um, but graduated from Rich View, went to Waffle College, and I get on this campus, and I I am the loner that uh that you probably remember me. I I just I didn't really talk to anybody.
SPEAKER_03:Andre ain't go nowhere, ain't do nothing. Anytime I hung out with him, he's like, Why don't you just come to I'm like, Sordre, sure. Let's sit around the house again.
SPEAKER_01:Look, look, because it's safe there. Look, I'm saying, and I don't got to spend no money. Y'all was y'all got to spend y'all gas to come to my. I'm so done.
SPEAKER_03:Anyways, anyways, okay. Tell them tell them about my sister.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, so uh, you know, I I get that. And I don't know, you know, I'm just trying to find my way. It's the first time, of course, you know, when you get to get your freshman year on campus, you're just trying to find your way. The first time we actually met in Brandon Corten was at Transitions, right?
SPEAKER_04:Was that there was some program where you guys visited like or like the spring before, or something like that.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:Remember, I met you there.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um But it was kind of in passing, right?
SPEAKER_04:Well, there was a room, like remember we had like the bar height, uh like the bar um tables, and like we kind of I guess went around and spoke to all the like incoming um freshmen or what have you.
SPEAKER_01:Right. And of course that was for it. It wasn't but a but a handful of us, you know. So we found each other very, very easily. It's like, oh my god. All right, come here, let's talk.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, similar, similar vibes at prominent. Similar vibes. I can imagine. Yeah, yeah, right down and wrong.
SPEAKER_01:But you know, that's just the way it was. And um, so I I didn't quite do that. Hey, my name is Samuel Small. It was um, you know, just kind of nervous, whatever. We meet then. But um, it wasn't, it was like I said, it wasn't passing, it wasn't a big deal. I got to, I actually got to Walford in the first couple of weeks. Um, you know, had my first round of classes, and I remember I took French in high school. Um and pretty pretty decent at it. And the lady, uh Dr. Schmitz, who was our um professor, uh French professor at um at Walford, um came to me and said they were trying to beef up the French program, right? Because they they had an even, it was just a very, very small program, not a lot of people. And I think they were also trying to push diversity and say, you know, you're really good at this. I said, okay, great. Well, what do I need to do? You know, no. And she said, well, you'd have to become a French major. I said, French major. Oh, well, I mean, okay. I mean, whatever. I I just I'll do it. Um but uh part of the deal was if I did, they would skip me up to the next level. Was it 301? No, 200, 200. 300 level, the 300-level class with the class ahead of me, where Brandy was. Um, and they would give me the credit for the lower classes and kind of put me on track to graduate a year early, right?
SPEAKER_02:I said, well, that's great.
SPEAKER_03:Hold on, wait, because the way the Lord set a thing out, yes, I love it. Yeah, come on, home.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, ma'am. It gave me credit for all those, and then my AP courses all when they calculated all that, they said, and if you stay on this road, you can graduate a year earlier. Wow, be able to graduate with Brandy. I didn't know that at the time, but so I said, I said, sure, why not? Well, Dr. Schmitz on the on the back end went to Brandy. Because she was the she came to you. Um, she was because Brandy was the only black person in her class. All right.
SPEAKER_04:And I think it was also because Dr. Schmitz and I were close due to like, you know, having had um the experiences that we shared the year prior. Um and and so she came to me and she said, Hey, I have a student that I'm gonna move up to the 300 levels uh the to you guys' class. And if um, if you don't mind, you know, I told him if he has any trouble, you know, or any questions that he can come to you. And I was like, okay, that's fine, no problem. And then she said, but will you just go introduce yourself and what have you? And I said, that's not a problem. Um, you know, thinking back on it, I'm actually a very shy person, but I told her, I said, that's fine, no problem. Um, and so I mean, and I let you pick it up there, but she didn't ask me, and and I'll say this, Jaquita, she actually moved up two students. Um, it was you and Chad. Um, and but she told me specifically to go talk to Samuel.
SPEAKER_03:Let me tell you something. I I love it. I've I've been really wrestling with this idea of God being a matchmaker, and how when we think about like, oh, how am I gonna find you know my husband or how's he gonna find me, you know, like we we think that the answer is you gotta put yourself out there. You know, you gotta you gotta get on the on the date naps and you gotta be in the places where the men at. And everybody's like, where's all the single men at? And I have found myself drawing back from all of this, from this idea that I have to put myself in position and realizing that as long as I stay in position with God, He can orchestrate my love story just like I've I've trusted him to orchestrate everything else. And and I think there's so many single people, right? You know, like I'm sure she had no idea that when she put you guys together, that this whole love story and this huge family and all of these things would come of it, you know, in her mind, she's like, I have a higher level student that can help this incoming student to progress and move forward. And so I think a lot of times we're trying to write a story when God already has a script and all you have to do is stay on script. And that will allow God to unveil to you what's in what's in your what's in your what's in your act, what's in your story. So, okay, I'm sorry, I just had to get that in. No, that's awesome.
SPEAKER_01:Because listen, I did not go to Waffle College thinking I'm gonna come out finding a wife, a wife. And I know Brandy did. I did not.
SPEAKER_04:Well, because I mean one who's younger than I am.
SPEAKER_01:That's number one. Her buttons.
SPEAKER_04:Brandy take that one year so seriously.
SPEAKER_01:Listen, I I just I knew there were there were only a handful of us, and of course, I I, you know, I just did not, I just did not think that I would come out of Walfrey. I was not looking for a spouse.
SPEAKER_04:Well, and I think also it's the the focus. I think coming from um, you know, black families, um, you know, and talking to our friends and things of that nature, it's just a different culture. When you go out to school, you go to go to school, you go to accomplish something. You know, for me, I'm like first generation um college student. So a relationship, right and and never mind the fact that um this, I never had a relationship up until Andre. Um, you know, and so I definitely didn't come there and I would I did not seek him out. I was just obedient to my teacher and I told her I would do it. So I I I told her I would approach him and tell him, you know, if he needed any help, he could, you know, ask me. But um I also included you won't need any help in my statement. I said you won't need any help. It's it's it's great.
SPEAKER_03:Don't even bother me, you good.
SPEAKER_01:And funny enough, when she approached me, you know, and that people use that term, who was it, love at first, at first sight. I'm not I'm not I can't say that. I'm not gonna say that because when she came to me, of course I thought she was beautiful, but um but in my mind, just like she, I thought, what what I I didn't I was like, well, she's an upperclassman, what is she gonna do with a little freshman, that type deal. I if that didn't cross my mind at first, you know.
SPEAKER_03:So um let me let me tell y'all about how that changed. Okay, let me tell y'all. Uh I'm gonna let him I'm gonna let him continue his little story. Okay, but remember, me and Andre, when I say we were best friends, we were best friends in the idea of me and Andre were probably the only two people telling each other the truth at all times. Keeping it 100, which means we fought a lot, okay?
SPEAKER_02:Let me tell you something.
SPEAKER_03:Let me tell you, couldn't nobody get on my nerves like Samuel Andre Smoke.
SPEAKER_01:Jaquita putting in love, I just so you know, you know, at Blackwood High School, you know um Coach Ellis is is the uh student activities coordinator. Really, yeah. So I talked to her and she said, ask Jaquita. I said, fine. The first thing she said, she said, y'all just used to fight in my car.
SPEAKER_03:Ooh, that's so funny. Me and Andre used to go at it, you know, and um, but it was it was in a in a loving way that we didn't understand as love at that time because it was it was he was the only person fighting baby. It was it was it was petty, but it was honest. And it was real, and and it was always cutting to the bone. Like it was always, we're gonna cut to the truth of it. Honey, let me tell you something. When this man, I don't know what he thought when he first saw you, but probably the second or third time he saw you. All I heard was Brandy, Brandy, Brandy. And oh, there's this girl at Waffer named Brandy. And then he started accidentally calling me Brandy. And I was like, that was like, I was like, who is Brandy? Because let me tell you something. Okay, this is the poetry came too.
SPEAKER_01:Remember, Squidday?
SPEAKER_03:The poetry, the poetry. So I finally, and I I'ma I'm a I'm a I'm a I'ma tell my little piece and I'm gonna be out. And again, me and Andre just completely friends. I finally go to visit him because Furman and Wafford is like 45 minutes away from each other. So I go to visit him, and I'm in the room, and he's just talking about brandy, brandy, brandy. And he's oh, I'm gonna go in. I'm a and I was like, take me to her now.
SPEAKER_01:Let me see her. Let me see this list.
SPEAKER_03:Take where is she at? Where is she at? Because, bro, you is sprung. Yes, you are sprung. I want to meet her, and of course, when I met her, I loved her, but they weren't even dating yet.
SPEAKER_01:And that was the crazy part. It was so that when she came to me and and we and became my mentor or whatever, and she said exactly that. I didn't have any issues. And of course I didn't. Um I started talking to her, you know. We started talking and we we figured out, found out very early on um the love of God, the love for God that each that we each had, right? Um, and of course I was like, whoa, that's that's that's a big deal. Um she helped get me involved with our on-campus um Soldiers for Christ. Oh, soldiers for Christ, yeah. Soldiers for Christ. Um, and that was a way to keep me grounded while I while I was in school, but in it, and it kind of um, you know, just encouraged to keep my walk with God while there. Um, and one of the first things that she told me that um I was like, wow, this is somebody that I could I can kick it with. Um I was like, man, I really want to read the Bible in its entirety. I've never been able to do that up in that point. She said, well, why don't you, why don't you, we can read it together, right? She said, because she and another student, um, I won't say her name, but they had they had gone on a quest, if you will, to to read the Bible, the entire Bible over a um over the semester. No, the summer. The summer, so like three months. Um, and she completed that. And I said, How did you do that? I was so enamored by that. She um showed me her plan and we started doing that together. But of course, that led to deeper conversations, that led to deeper friendship, and there was no romance involved at that time. I mean, right. There was let me but but we were so close and it it was it was scary to me at first um because I was like, like, this really is my homie. But like it was just on a just another level. And it was through our our uh pursuit of God that that that really happened, and we spent so much time together. People said, Y'all are then, are y'all sure? You know, are you sure? What do you mean? No, I promise you we're not. But if like when I had my choice, um, you know, when all of our friends, and none of our none of the friends that we had at Walkford were the um lushes or like they they they were soldiers for Christ, they were those members. But whenever they even went off to do other things, I said, can we just chill? Can we can we continue like that?
SPEAKER_03:I know he didn't want to go nowhere, Brandy.
SPEAKER_01:I didn't want to go, not not because I was, I mean, I I guess you could say I was courting her, but I wasn't. It was just so easy. And I don't know if you remember in my vows, Jacquelita, at our at our wedding, um, that was thing I said I could, this is the first time, and I don't want to get emotional, but uh this is the first time in my life. Um, where I truly feel like I can and that's even within my upbringing, family relationships, all of that and giguity, you know the story about that. We'll talk about it in this podcast. That's a different podcast that I imagine. Um we'll bring you back. We'll bring back to talk about those things. But it I I literally, you know, uh amongst the other friends I could with Brandy, I could truly just breathe, take my shoes off, and really and and be be be silly, be my authentic self. And not only did she um uh not judge me for that, but she it was it drew her in even more. It could and she opened up, she made herself vulnerable to me as well. Um there was there was no when I asked by the time uh spring of 2026, or I guess the the Jan term of 2026. 2006 came around um and a little later on, it might have been in February, I can't remember exactly, but when I asked her to marry me, um she did not believe me when I said that. And you know, when I and of course it's like we were we were still freshmen in college and all that stuff, I said, not now, but I cannot imagine my life without you. And I said, why not let's we started this thing, why not let's just let's make the plan, let's let's finish it. Um and Brandon, did you want to pick up from there about the well?
SPEAKER_04:I'll add in something because I don't want to make it seem like I was the only one reading the Bible. So I can remember us going from Olin Building, which is where our class was, uh, to walking toward. I was in um who was that Dre um English uh I was in Dupree and you were in Marsh. Marsh so we were taking the the route behind Old Maine, and at that time Andre was reading Romans. Um and um he was fasting from TV and he was reading Romans. So that's what um I shared my story with him, and he shared where he was. Um he was saying that he wanted to, he he was on the pursuit of you know, knowing God for himself. He he knew him, but you know, as an adult, um, knowing God for himself and reading the Bible. And so um I never forget Becky called it Jesus Dayton. She said, You guys are Jesus Dayton, um, because what we would do is we would go to the common area and we would read the Bible together, um and we would uh talk about where we were in the Bible or what have you, um, and just you know have discussions. So I I did want to bring that up. And then Andre to your question where you asked, was it about February? So what happened was like we got really close that first semester, and that's when I met Jaquita. And then the next semester, our whole group, we had our um interim time at Walford. We got our group was really close because we would stay up all night, you know, just hanging out, playing games and things of that nature. But by February, Andre was Andre was writing me poetry, and all the the poetry was very beautiful.
SPEAKER_03:Um, but it it would respond, I'm trying to tell you.
SPEAKER_04:The poetry was very beautiful, but the the words would it would, if you read the words, you could tell it was planning a future. Now, in my mind, I'm not there. Um, because I'm just here to, I'm not gonna take advantage of a fellow person in Christ. Um, I'm just here to do exactly what I said, which was I would, you know, read the Bible with you, what have you. But apparently he had something else in his mind. But it became clear when I would read the poetry. But I also remember um that in February, your dad um called and told you to buy me something for um my birthday. And you called my roommate at the time, Vicky, and helped uh set up like the streamers and the balloons in my room while I wasn't there, um, you know, set up a cake and all those other things um for me. Um and that we we had the little party down in the common area, and then he said, Well, I just would rather go hang out. You want to go back to your room and hang out? And I was like, that's fine, because Andre always wants to hang out. He don't want to be in the crowd, like he's always been that way. And so I was like, that's fine. So we go back to my room, and that's when I see the surprise. And excuse me, I think at that time you bought me the teddy bears. Um, and I think you bought me an outfit. Um and right, and it was so funny because I was like, well, how do you know what to buy? He was like, Well, I can look at you and kind of tell, and I can see your clothes and stuff. So, you know, he uh bought me an outfit. I I wish that, well, we had house fighting, so we wouldn't have it anyway. But he bought me the outfit. Um, and that year, uh, might have bought me flowers for my birthday, which is February the 12th, and then for Valentine's Day. So it was a lot of like, was there courting? Yes. Um, but in my mind, listen, I'm a Christian, and I am not gonna, I'm not gonna take advantage of someone. I just I accepted gifts. I got then I bought stuff for Andre, took him out to eat, um, and everything like that. So it was like we did that with our entire, you know, friend group.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. Um none of them believed us when we said that we were not, because that well, because you know, there were some other friends of us that had some struggles sexually. And he said, What how can y'all spend so much time together? Y'all got to be doing something. I was like, Y'all, we were not, we did not. We did not. Before we got married. We did not. And we don't we don't praise God. Yeah, and we don't say that to to to boast, but when I when Becky said Jesus dating, she said, oh yeah, y'all and Jesus dead, and I can that's I'm trying to talk like shit. Yeah, y'all are Jesus dead, and I completely get it. I totally get it. Yeah, that's that's accurate. That's accurate. I said, I can take that.
SPEAKER_03:I can take that thing. That's such a I'm sorry, Brandy, I didn't mean to cut you off.
SPEAKER_04:No, you're perfectly fine, Jacobi.
SPEAKER_03:I think that's such a, you know, as as we're talking on this episode, I'm realizing, you know, guys, if you only know how many struggles we have had to get this episode up and running. I mean, from the scheduling when I was gonna be able to get these two very busy people on a screen together to today, all of the technical issues that I've literally never had. But I'm as as you guys are talking, I'm realizing how powerful this is because as young and middle adult Christians, we don't have models for Jesus dating. We don't have models for keeping integrity, remembering that this is your brother or sister in Christ, remembering that this is not just about I need a husband, I want a wife, and you gotta treat me like this, and you gotta do this, and I don't want to go to cheese cookery and all of the things that like when you're talking about building a foundation together, you have to start with something that's gonna last forever. And I think, and also if you guys are like, man, Andre wrote all this poetry, that's crazy. Go look at his Facebook statuses. This man is still writing, okay. He is still writing, he's still writing love letters to this day to Brandy, to his children, okay. He is he just wrote one to Maya today. Um he has not stopped. I I don't remember Andre writing nothing for nobody ever, okay, before Brandy. But now all of a sudden, trust me, trust me, Brandy. Uh but but it's such a there is a missing piece. And so when you guys are talking about your first act, and you know, Brandy noting that you guys have been together now for 20 years, are known, have met each other 20, 21 years ago, and and have all of this history and this foundation, that you have to build something that's gonna last a lifetime. And you know what's not gonna last a lifetime? That little romance, that little, you know, I had to sweep you up off your feet, I had to do this, I had to do that. Like you guys are giving the template for how we need to be approaching relationships um as believers and how we need to approach um what how we need to adjust adjust our eyesight for what we're looking for. Um, because you know, I'm five foot eleven, so you know I've been looking for six, two, six, three, you know. And he might he might just be that in the spirit. I don't know.
SPEAKER_01:Yo dude might be five ten, bro. That just might be it. You know, I it's it's so funny saying and we just had this conversation um not too long ago, and I I don't know how for how deep we can get on on the podcast when we talk about sex. As deep as you'd like to? Yeah, when we talk about sex. And Jaquini, we've had this conversation with it about, you know, um within within the marital sphere. Sex my with in my marriage, sex is not the best aspect of our marriage. No, it is not. That's so that's so key. Not it's not not even close, it's as as as great as it is. Right, it is, it is not let's be clear.
SPEAKER_04:We won't change that because I will say having been on this side of that, I told I told Andre, I said the only thing I would have changed about our relationship is I'd have gotten married earlier.
SPEAKER_02:Earlier.
SPEAKER_04:I said, Because like for for all those years, it was I can't let my my brother in Christ fail. I'm not gonna be Jesus is not gonna be mad at me for doing something with me. So, you know, I said that's the only thing I would change, but no, sex is not even close to the best thing.
SPEAKER_02:But y'all didn't start with that.
SPEAKER_01:No, it was the kicker.
SPEAKER_03:And you you didn't even start with that as as as as a goal, as a as a burning desire, like I gotta have it, and this is and you know, and and I think that it it made a difference.
SPEAKER_01:Yes, it is it it is something that you make you make it what you need it to be in your marriage and um and you uh how you regard sex is is more important than than anything. If you go in with the mindset, like you just said, I that I have to have it, that it has to be, we got to make it spicy and we got to do this, that, and the third. Number one, that makes it too mechanical. Um and the purpose of sex is not to get my rocket off and turn like that. But if you continue, if my goal is for us to to what's the word I'm looking for, to um put a cherry on top of the Sunday, or to um to embody our love for each other in a physical act, for me to please her, and then her regard is to uh her her regard for sex is a is a tool to please me. We too busy trying to please each other that how it happens is less important as to the moments leading up to it and even the moments after. Because there's only a few, there's only is just a very short period of time. But it's it's the love letters all day, it's the um, it's it's the um validation, is it's the it's the mind, the the the mind that you will go leading up to it, letting you know that if of all the people in the world, you are the one that I desire. Yeah, that is a choice, that's a conscious choice you have to make. And that makes it sweeter. And listen, throw kids in the mix. And I know we're gonna talk about the second act and the final act. You're trying to make things spicy while you got four little people knocking at your door, it just probably ain't gonna happen. I mean, not that not in the way that you want to point it. But it is, it is, it is if we I can honestly say, because we tempered our flesh in the in the beginning, if we had to go months without it, if we had to go without it, period. Don't want to, but if we had to, we I I a thousand percent know we would be fine. And because here's the thing get in a marriage and get in a position where you can't do it for whatever reason. Yeah, but what are you gonna have to fall back on? Yeah. And here's the thing, we all gonna get old, prayerfully, you know, we all gonna get old, and that and that it's just not gonna be the same. So um learning to grow with each other is what I I I believe it. God has really when I look back on these 20, 20 plus years, um, it's been a privilege, it's been an honor to love. You don't know what challenges you're gonna face.
SPEAKER_03:But so I, you know, one, every every turn of your relationship, every part of your journey has been beautiful. Um, I I want to kind of focus in on, okay, so Andre called me, you know, sent me a picture of the ring, you know, and he was like, it's about to go down. I was like, this man, I did not know how serious he was. I knew it was Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy, Brandy. But when I saw the ring, I said, we 20 and proposing. We proposing in college, you know, and I let me tell you something. I loved it though. I was I was in full support. I I love Brand. I love Brandy. I love that Andre was in love because yeah. Um, but I I want to kind of talk through, you know, now you guys are engaged and then were um headed to law school, um, and you're at the beginning of marriage. Um kind of talk to me about how life shifted um in those terms.
SPEAKER_01:So we so first get into law school. Um I actually uh was going to be a doctor at the end.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, since like the nine since like the tenth grade.
SPEAKER_01:Queen remembers by AP bio was my was my deal, right? Yeah. Um got to to when we got to Walfer after I met Brandon Austin, I got to the end of my uh um um freshman year. Um I don't know if you remember, Grandma Betty had a uh aneurysm an aneurysm.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, I do remember that.
SPEAKER_01:Um so of course I ran down there and that whole event, I don't know why, I just shifted my focus or whatever. I had to have a real talk with the Lord. And I never forget, God rest the soul, not Mrs. Nandim, not granddaddy, says before um I even met you since I was a little boy, he said, Boy, you're gonna be a lawyer. No, I'm not. He has always said that when Brandon? Oh, he's gonna be a lawyer. Period. So that kind of resonated with me, and then of course I found out that Brand was was headed to law school, and I said, Well, I had a talk with God. I said, Let's do this then, right? Wow. We ended up, so I did propose, if you will, in uh our freshman year, we end up getting extended.
SPEAKER_02:You propose freshman year? Sophomore year. Sophomore year. Oh, okay, okay, okay.
SPEAKER_04:Sophomore year. Well, so let me fix that. No, but knowing what I knew back by the time like he did propose, he was actually trying to propose in February of his freshman year when the poetry was coming and all the other stuff. Because the the way that I later found out that I was like, Do you know you did this back like months ago? So we were in the dorm room, like watching TV or something and just kind of talking. And he kept grabbing my hand and saying, Will you buy my um salsa chips? And I was like, Why do you keep asking me this? Yes, we can go to the store. Let's just go, let's go to Walmart, because you know I got to do that. I said, like, will I said, Will you?
SPEAKER_01:And will you? And I paused. And I then I said, like I said, so I said, buy my sauce of chips. It was some sauce of chips that I really liked at the time. I think that was me getting cold feet about doing that. Because I think I I got in my head, I said, What am I doing? I'm I'm I'm in, I'm in, I'm a freshman year. I'm I'm a freshman here at this college. See, they're asking this um woman to marry me type deal. And of course it wasn't to get married, but anyway, and I then I I finally I kept trying, and then what was it? It was October 16th of my, you know, that sophomore year.
SPEAKER_03:Also, right at the beginning of sophomore year. Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:Finally just went ahead and said it, right? And just to cut this one.
SPEAKER_04:And and to preface it, he would always, you know, Andre's word. I love it, it's beautiful. I love how his how he has his way with words. It wasn't will you just buy my sauce of chips? He was like, I just love you, this, that, and the other. Will you buy my sauce of chips? In my mind, I'm like, yes, let's just go buy these sauce of chips. Like, I I had no clue at this time. Like, I could tell that he liked me a lot, um, and even loved me.
SPEAKER_01:But I just marriage wasn't in your proof.
SPEAKER_03:I'm I'm interested to know, Brandy, because you know, you you was a woman on a mission, on a grind, okay. Brandy was like, I'm here to get my degree, I'm here to go to law school, I'm here to do the things. What, how, what made you say yes? Like, when when did you get to the yes that ultimately came?
SPEAKER_04:So, um, we so let me say this. Even before becoming my fiance at the time, I always thought Andre was a phenomenal person. Like he is very thoughtful, um, or at least he was with me. He was very thoughtful, very careful. Um, all these different things, like he he cared about me deeply. Um and one thing that um, and he always like he he would tell me everything. Um, and so it it wasn't hard when all the stuff came together, like in a moment when I could look back on it, like all the events, but it was shocking to me. Like I was like, boy, stop playing. And you know, he was like, um, I think we came out of the same class. I said, Boy, stop playing. Like, no, I I right now I just really want to go back to my room.
SPEAKER_02:You go ahead and go farewell.
SPEAKER_04:You know, it is what it is. And he was like, No, um, I'm really serious. And because I know that you are Focused and you keep talking about law school, I figured I better tell you this now. And I'm like, tell me what right now. Um, because I had told him I wouldn't go to Burwell with him that day. And he said, um, he said, well, listen, because I don't want you to plan your life without thinking of me too. I just want to know, would you do me the honor of being my wife? I said, Andre, look. I said, Andre, I said, like, dude, um I said, are you serious? And he was like, yeah, I'm really serious. He said, you know, we we talk all the time. Everything you've said about what you want your future to look like, that's what I want for my future. And so I I I don't want you to, because I know you're already planning, like I was telling when I was taking uh LSAT, um, you know, I all these things. I was he knew. Um, and it wasn't for the per I wasn't telling him those things because I was trying to pressure him to something because I didn't know that he felt no, I had when I say zero clue, Jaquita, zero clue. Yeah. Um, and I as a matter of fact, I told her, Andre, we haven't even dated. He was like, Well, we don't have to. And so he said, I just know that this is what I want to do. And I just like I I stood there for a moment, um, and whatever was going on at the time, like it left my mind. And I was like, Andre, like, you know, I knew at by that time I knew I loved him.
SPEAKER_01:Um, but again, in my you didn't have you, you I said, you gonna say it, you gonna give me a few minutes.
SPEAKER_04:Five minutes, and I ain't even answered the question. I said, I was giving him every reason about like Dre, you you have your life ahead of you, you know, those kinds of things. I was I I guess I was almost convincing you out of it. And and or trying to, but you know, when Andre feels something, he's gonna go with it 100%. And so he said, I know all those things, and I know we haven't traditionally dated or any of those things, but I I've I've been talking to God about this, and I know this is what I want and what I want in my future. And so eventually I said yes. But Andre and I actually didn't tell anybody um right that it took like a week or so because I was having to still process it. Um, and I knew that, like when I say Andre cared for me intimately, I never forget I have horrible cramps, and I have since I've had a cycle. And I remember one day Andre was in my room. A couple things happened. One time I was in uh my dorm and he said, Hey, let's go to Walmart. I didn't really feel like it, but I said, Sure, I'll ride with you. And I got in this car and I missed his car, like, super heavy cycle, and he didn't have leather seats. So I missed his car. And and this was on the way back to Walford, and I was mortified. I ran away. I said, Oh my god, Andre, I'm so sorry. And I was like trying to think in my mind, like, how am I gonna get that out of his seat? You know, this, that, and the other. And like two, three minutes later, Andre walks up to my room. He said, Girl, why are you running? I was like, Andre, I'm so sorry. I did not mean to do that to your car. I'll pay for it. Just I just uh that's very embarrassing, you know, whatever. Like that has never happened to me before. Um, and he said, Girl, I already got it up. He said, There's nothing in my car. I said, What do you mean? I said, like, there was look like somebody got shot up in there. He said, Brandy, wasn't it bad, first of all? And like, he said, it was fresh blood. I just cleaned it up and it's it's all good. He said, But give me your pants and I'll go ahead and throw those in the wash, and you won't even know that this happened. And like tears started falling down my eyes. I was like, I'm so sorry, I'm so embarrassed. He was like, You don't have to be embarrassed, just give me your pants and I'm gonna take them downstairs. He and I so I went and laid down. He took my clothes to the laundry room, washed them, dried them, he brought them back up to me, woke me up. He said, See, you don't even see it. And I was like, I still was trying to process it, but that's how he cared for me. And then in another instance, I had a cycle and it was really, really heavy, but it was super, super painful. And I called the doctor after he called my doctor after hours. He was like, You want me to call the ambulance? I said, Well, they don't do anything for cramps like that. I said, So that's not a good idea. He's like, You want to go to the emergency room? I was like, No, I just have to let it pass. Well, he calls my body. I was, I was crying. I said, Oh my god, this is so painful. But at the end of the day, he just kind of sat with me, and then he um I he I fell asleep. He stayed in my room till I fell asleep, but I said I wanted a brownie, and it was two o'clock in the morning, and Andre walking into my um dorm room with a brownie. I said, Boy, why did you go get me a brownie? He said, You said it earlier that you wanted a brownie. I just thought about it, so I went to go get you a brownie. I said, in the middle of the night? He said, Yeah, you said you wanted it. And so it like like the way he was caring for me. And then at that time, and I saved it. We have it in our scrapbook. He went back to his room and he uh a AIM messaged me. He said, um I just want to uh I love you. And I said, Oh I said, well, why'd you say that? He said, I I just felt it so I wanted to say it. I said, Oh, well, I love you too. Um, and I thank uh, you know, and I uh uh you know thank you for saying that. He said, um, and then he started saying, and and you had a really rough day today, and I just wanted to, you know, make sure that I told you that I love you and all this and the other. So I knew what kind of person he was. So when I said, yeah, like I thought about it, I was like, well, you know, if he cares for me like that, he and and he would be a uh husband like that, well shoot, yeah. You know what I mean? Like, of course. And we'll have to work out some of these details, but but I don't know what those details ended up being because it just felt so natural after he told me. Um, because by that time I come down to Columbia um and spent the week for um spring break, um Paddy's house and all that other stuff.
SPEAKER_01:So it it it was studying abroad together in 2007. Um graduated, we ended up getting in USC. Yes. Uh um, of course, and we got our letters right after each other, our acceptance letters. Um we get to law school. Um, we didn't we don't have the same last name, right? We still ended up getting in the same section, you know, which was amazing because I I was like, and once you get in your section, you pretty much stay with them, at least your first year. Um, and then even part the first part of your second. Um so it it was that part was was magical. So we ended up doing everything together. And we kind of fell seamlessly there. So I we ended up getting married our second year, right? 2010. And we graduate uh in uh 2011, and of course, she graduates. Uh she walks across the stage six months pregnant. Wait, six months pregnant with him?
SPEAKER_02:Seven months pregnant. Seven months pregnant.
SPEAKER_03:You're seven months pregnant, about to walk across the stage. Can I just interject real quickly because I I cannot overemphasize. One, I want to say one thing. A lot of people, you know, there's this whole conversation on if you can be friends with people of the opposite sex, right? And I, Andre and I have been best friends since, you know, eighth grade. We were 13. All the time for, like I said, we used to fight like cats and dogs. What I tell people, I tell people this all the time. I became just as close with Brandy as I was with Andre. I did not keep some super special relationship with Andre that we had to like, you know, keep on the side of me, you know, I became a friend of the family. And so for all of you who have friends who may be, you know, the opposite sex, I would encourage you, and I mean, it doesn't, all of all of y'all's friends aren't marrying somebody as cool as Brandy, right? But you have to, you have to redefine that relationship with that person as I am now a friend of the family. And so it really helped to set a dynamic where I can stay. You know what I'm saying? I stayed part of the part of the crew. You know, I stayed part of their lives because I'm I be at the house, me and Brandy be talking, I don't know where Andre be at. And I I really don't be, I really don't be caring. I be like, Brandy, girl, I got to talk to my sister. Have you done this? We hear my friends. Yeah, you know, we, you know, Brandy be hearing some of the stories before Andre do. Brandy, tell Andre what I said. You know, but it was really important for me as I was watching y'all's relationship unfold that I wasn't, I wasn't trying to, you know, reassert who I was or where I should be in this friendship, in this relationship, right? Like I I remained a supporter of you guys as a unit. And I think that that's really important.
SPEAKER_01:Um yeah, and of course, when the kids came, you just became auntie queened. I mean, that's just it just is amazing.
SPEAKER_03:Boy, did the kids come? The kids. I don't know. When I tell you I love y'all's kids, I love that I now have nieces and nephews that are teenagers. That's wide to me. That is wide to me how quickly these kids grew. Um the point I was gonna make was I remember when Brandy was pregnant, y'all, because, you know, they've told so many stories about how Andre cared for Brandy. I remember I went to visit, y'all were in the apartment uh at the meeting, and I went over there, and Andre, we were getting ready to go out to eat or something, and Andre said, okay, Brandy, stand up, and he like sprayed her down with the body spray. He put her coat on, he put her shoes on. I said again, my brother is. But I'm so appreciative because I tell people when I come home to Columbia, I'm like, I need to go see my brother and sister because just being around y'all reminds me of what the promises of God looks like. And because also I know Andre before. I know pre brandy Andre. Like I said, Mary, a poem written. I could have branded, I could've, I could've uh ran and stuck my tongue. Matter of fact, I'm pretty sure I have plenty of examples where something happened to me, and that I looked over there, and that boy was laughing, cutting up. I got sick one time, and he made me ride in the back seat with the window down. The key closet, the keystone, not he. That man told me he was out, that is disgusting. You sitting in the back. So when I tell you, when I tell you, I said, I said, my brother, but just hearing your story is just confirmation of knowing what it looks like when it comes. So, all right, we're seven months pregnant. We're walking across the stage.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah. And we go to, we, of course, right after we we graduate, we go to try to sit for the bar. The week before, maybe a couple of weeks before, then it was she didn't have she had a pretty, she had a pretty um seamless. Yeah, pretty good pregnancy, like no issues, but for some reason, right up to that point on where we were getting ready to sit for the bar, they said we might have to take the baby because um he's he's he's what is it, he's growing larger than or measuring larger than what uh our due date was so so he could come early. And they said, Do you really want to sit and be sitting in the bar and your water breaks and you go into labor and you have the baby and we don't want any issues to happen? So they scheduled her for a C session. Right.
SPEAKER_04:And though the other one was like a week later than the bar, they were afraid that I could go into labor um surely. And so it was this idea that let me just withdraw. Andre withdrew so that we could um, you know, have have our um have our baby, but um and then I wouldn't change that for the world.
SPEAKER_01:My Lord.
SPEAKER_04:Because it it in that um, you know, the one is expensive to take to apply apply to take the having to do it later um in life, having a baby and not feeling settled, but you know, looking back on it at this point, I don't I would change a single solitary thing or win change uh the kid I got.
SPEAKER_03:And we we had a series of amazing kid. All of your kids are amazing.
SPEAKER_04:I love them so much. Thank you. The sweetest kid. Um I will say the the the thing that came in this second act w was the trials that come with, you know, being a newly married couple, um, the economy at the time, as well as what eventually happened with Samuel, the house fire. Like it was a a number of things that happened, but it was so funny that um when we look back on everything, God was still faithful the entire time. Um, even though it didn't feel like it going through it, it was I could look back on it at each stage and see where God was working things out for us. Um, but in in like I said, that second act was, and I think it is for a lot of people where you're trying to figure out who you are as adults, as a married couple, and all those things. Um when we had Samuel, um, you know, issues would arise, you know, family issues arose. Um eventually when Samuel was two, almost turning three, he was diagnosed with autism.
SPEAKER_01:Um piece to that. So after we we withdrew from the uh from taking the bar, of course that was that's supposed to be our piece into I mean our our standard into our careers. Um, like she said, the economy was was terrible in the recession. And and um I said, oh my gosh, so I w we withdrew. I don't have a job, I have a wife and this brand new baby that I have to take care of. What am I gonna do? Um ended up getting uh odd odd and odd and end jobs, if you will, but it I got a job as a professor or an adjunct professor as a teacher. Um and eventually I I um went into public school teaching full time. Um I had to go get my certificate, but you had to go through the alternative certification, so I had to get into that class and go to that seminar and do all, you know, and um to to get certified, take that test to be certified, and I finally did. Um and like you said, in the midst of that, and it was 2014, we had a house fire. The uh year before that, or a couple years before it was at 2012, we had we both lost our jobs at the same time. Let us go. Um Sam was diagnosed the day we had the house fire. The lady that was coming to do the um doing the assessment. She came, she would, she was pulling up to a house in flames. Yep. And um she said, please don't tell me that this is y'all.
SPEAKER_04:Um she said, please tell me you're not Mrs. Small. I said, Yes, ma'am, I am. Um she said, you know, of course I'm so sorry. I said, Well, ma'am, if you'll just give us until tomorrow, I'll just have to come to you because when they do the assessments, it was my understanding that they like to see the child in the actual setting and like environment so they can get an accurate setting. Um, she said, tomorrow? I said, Well, ma'am, we've lost everything at this point, and I don't know what's going on with my child. So if you just give me till tomorrow, I'll come to you. Um, and we ended up going. Samuel would not say a word to those people. And that's when she said, We're gonna have to diagnose him with autism. I was like, Oh no, but he can talk, you know, that kind of thing. She was like, he didn't do it in there with us, so we have to diagnose him. And he had some um like uh receptive language issues and um all those things. And I think when he was maybe 18 months, and we started the process with Baby Ned of, you know, having him assessed, I never forget the my heart sank when I saw the the paperwork. It said um he was at like a eight months expressive language and 15 months um receptive language, or it could be switched, but um she put um on that paperwork I could just still see the writing in the corner. It said severely disabled slash retarded.
SPEAKER_03:And I was auntie auntie Jaquita uh uh peaked up because Yes. We know that's not we know that's you know I wish I wish y'all could see Samuel because literally one of the most brilliant kids.
SPEAKER_04:Um but at that time it was not a brilliant feeling, and I remember like my heart sank and I started to blame myself. Um I thought I'd eaten something because at the time you didn't you didn't know a whole lot about autism, and it was at the point where I could not, Andre and I could not even bring ourselves to tell everybody what was going on. We just were saying, like, he's going through some things, we're gonna work with him, you know, and I took every everything that I had on the wall decoratively, and you know I like my decorative stuff.
SPEAKER_03:Let me tell you something. My sister can deck a house out.
SPEAKER_04:I took it all down. I put the alphabet on the wall, the numbers through 20, um, color, shapes, all the things. I put those up, uh clock, what have you. And I, you know, after I took it the the way that I did, um I I finally, you know, Andre and I sat there and we really couldn't even say words to each other. We just sat on the couch and had a whole silent conversation, and both of us were just sitting there with tears just falling down our face. Um and it just it looking back on it, it was a lot of ignorance, if you will. Because we didn't know and it wasn't. Right. We we couldn't get a lot of information. Like it's all it's it's all out there now, but you couldn't get any information um At the time. And so I just remember um, you know, feeling like a failure as a mom. I just knew I'd done something wrong. I knew I ate the wrong thing. I didn't take enough supplements or whatever. And you know, with with Andre, he he gave me DHA back in 2011. I'd heard that later. I didn't know that stuff. Um, but he was giving me all these supplements and stuff like that. And I just I took it as, you know, I'd done something wrong. Um, and you know, there was a lot of condemnation, like I said, from that people were saying about him and experiences that he was having, um, and family saying certain things about him. And yeah, that was that was painful. And I remember, um, and I just be quite frank, because that was my baby, like Samuel. Um, you know, he's my gift from God. And I when I did something wrong, quote unquote, did something wrong, and he came out with autism, um, or he was diagnosed with autism, I just was like, I was heartbroken because then I would get the literature that, you know, he would, he would be um, you know, he wouldn't talk, he wouldn't do, he wouldn't learn to read and write. Um, I got a pamphlet one day after the house fight um where it was talking about adult daycare. Now Samuel's three years old, and they were telling me about daycare and how you could get diapers for him as an adult. And so these people over the messaging. I don't know. No, I'd like the lady came to my house and told me that and gave me the pamphlet. She was talking about DDSN, which is a great program to provide services for families. But I mean, uh that just wasn't my vision that I had for my life and for my kids. It's nothing wrong with diagnosis.
SPEAKER_01:I'm sorry to cut you off. In the midst of everything we're going through, it just seemed like another holding a bag of uh a bag and everybody was throwing a rock in it and scaring it around. So another thing. He wasn't talking the lack of family support, the lack of stability, you know, outside of our yeah, like you now don't have a house.
unknown:Right.
SPEAKER_04:Right.
SPEAKER_03:And we are now houses. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:It's it's everything is gone. But I I you know, at that time, um it it felt like God, I did everything right. How did you give me a defective baby? That's that was my feeling. Um, because all I heard was the doom and gloom. Like, he won't ever leave your house and this, that, and the other. And I was like, Sam, you can't live with me forever. You know, he thought about a half okay, you know.
SPEAKER_01:Let me add this. On top of that, we had family members that I'm saying. Actually told Brandy that she was a bad mom.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:I just I had that. Um and like quite explicitly. And yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And when you hear that as a person who believes in God, you know, all the enemy can do is plan a thought, but doggone those thoughts are very real. Um, and at the time, I I just thought that I'd done something so wrong, or I couldn't, I couldn't think about, I couldn't figure out what God was punishing me for. And I told my husband after the fact, I said, I contemplated suicide. Because I thought I did something to my child.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:And hearing that you're a bad mom, in conjunction with this thing that I did not understand, that was my thought. I had my plan and I I told Audrey that I had planned to put my children at a certain location, and I was just gonna not be here anymore. But thank God that, you know, thank God for the Holy Spirit because I can remember like rationalizing, well, who's gonna be there for my husband? And who's gonna be there for my children? Um and and the more I just sat there and I talked, I had Sam and Maya in the backseat, you know, trying to go through with my plan. And then I said, um, I said, wait a minute, who's gonna love my kids? Who's gonna, you know, nobody can love your kids like your mom can, you know, or your dad, but mom can. And well, who's gonna take care of Samuel? You know, and so I ended up saying, you know. And I said, so I came to the point where I said it wouldn't be fair to my family to leave them like this. And so I said, okay.
SPEAKER_01:We could out, I'm gonna tell you what I did. Yes. Not everybody.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah. Let me tell you something. Tell them.
SPEAKER_03:Andre will hunker down, okay? He he will create a fortress. Um, and I and I I have never held that against you because I have always understood. Um, because I I was aware of everything going on and I was, you know, praying with you guys and for you guys. Um, but that was such a, you know, uh, when we talk about first act, second act, I think in this part of the story, we're still in the first act where you are introduced to like some incredible challenges that we don't know, you know, when you're watching a play and you're you're seeing the main character go through all of these things, right? It's not until they they start, they turn the lights on and you're like, how are they gonna get out of this? How are we gonna see our way to the other side of this? And I really feel like, you know, when you guys were in college, imagining your relationship, you never, you you don't write these type of things into the narrative. Um but God introduced God brought challenges that he had beautiful responses to. Um, but that that doesn't always happen in the beginning of it.
SPEAKER_01:So what I did in response to everything, like when the world just got so chaotic for us, I said, okay, can't do this anymore. Block everybody out. I need him when I blocked everybody out. I blocked everybody out. It was nothing against them. But I said, we're going through something right now. I'm the head of this family. I got to, we I I had, like you said, I have to hunker down. I got to create a fortress. We where if you don't think like us, we never told, we never told um uh any of people of Samuel's teachers to say to tell him that he has autism. We said, do not say it to them. If he has to be pulled out for whatever reason, just say it's a fun adventure. I don't know, I don't care. We never noticed even today. We didn't say he was autistic, we said he was diagnosed with autism. That was a reference. It's not that we had a problem uh with autism in and of itself. What we said was, okay, what God says, we don't know what to do here. Um and we know you do, and you've you set this out before, you know, before he was even thought of. Um then we're going to uh speak, we're going to we're going to get together, we're going to pray, we're going to have a, I'm going to give my family marching orders, and we're going to go on with God in the way that we know how. Um and we're going to let the Holy Spirit lead in this one because I don't know where I'm going. I don't, I can't see beyond what we're being told here. Um add to that, uh, you know, I'm glad, you know, we're we're you know attorneys now, but we we've had we let's let's talk about this this this podcast episode and all the delays and all the technical difficulties and all that stuff. That is actually a very good um um uh uh representation of what our journey was like for the lawyer thing. Because, you know, we didn't have the contacts coming right out of law school to say, well, when you pass the bar and you got a job like our kids will have. Because by the way, now Samuel wants to be wants to be an attorney.
SPEAKER_02:Come on, Samuel.
SPEAKER_01:Um Maya does too. She has she, or it's it's in the works. She's she's a little unsure, but she's she's she's job channeling us. In fact, um she's she's coming in uh early February to she'll be she'll hear hearing a mile. I have a hearing in comedy, please. You have a hearing family court. Um she's gonna view that, so that's great. I love it. But we we didn't have that, right?
SPEAKER_04:And it wasn't on a straight or direct path. There were any distractions and you know, failures, and you know, uh we would we would apply to take the bar, but then we had to withdraw again. Um through it all, God is faithful. I will say this. I remember the conversation where Andre and I were sitting on the couch and we didn't say anything. We just kind of like hugged each other, tears were running out. Like we literally said no word.
SPEAKER_02:We said no word.
SPEAKER_04:Um, and tears were coming, and then finally I got myself together and I said, Um, well, Dre, I'm just gonna love him to his healing. Because at that point, again, I had no clue what autism was. Like, I did not and and you have to remember, we are very new parents. He's two years old. Samaya is uh less than a year old, and so I'm just like, oh, you know, and he had times where he was not talking and all those other things. He had ear infections, all these things uh that you'd have to sit for days to hear the story, but you know him, Jaquita.
SPEAKER_01:Um but I what was your prayer, Brandon?
SPEAKER_04:Um I I well I told Andre I said, I'm gonna um love him to his healing. We're gonna love him to his healing. I said, and then um we got very vigilant about speaking over his life. That's why we never called him autistic, and we don't to this day. We do not call, I don't have a problem with anybody excepting what they have to deal with, but I've never called him autistic. I don't accept that because everything that I heard as it relates to Samuel in autism, uh, was that he would never not be able, he could not, he would not, he could not. And so I started praying and I said, Um, Holy Spirit, I said, please reveal those things that my children cannot and will not tell me. That's my prayer to this day. So if they're facing something, even if they don't understand that they're facing something, Holy Spirit, so I know to go to God on behalf of my children. Um so I had a moment where I you go got to the lowest I could, but at the end of the day, I remembered everything that that I knew about God, and it was I started speaking over our child. Um, and I had been doing this the whole pregnancy, but I was very vigilant about you know those things, and I can't tell you the number of things that God has revealed um over the years for our children. Um well, I was gonna say specifically Samuel, but it's all of them. Um that was my prayer. I still pray it today, in addition to other things, and Samuel started to flourish. Yes, he started talking, he hadn't stopped. Um Samuel will talk you under uh other like I fell asleep on Samuel many times because he will talk you. It's amazing.
SPEAKER_03:It's amazing, but he's actually a very I'm sorry, Brandy. Not just talk. No, go ahead. I remember when Samuel was in his Spider-Man phase. That boy knew everything there ever was, every piece of information that there was, like just a breadth of knowledge about how he could like take in information and give it out. Like, I I remember being absolutely amazed every time I encountered Samuel, like how how big his brain was.
SPEAKER_04:Yes. And then Samaya comes. And funny story, Samuel was two at the time that Samaya was born. Samuel was not talking. He would, he, it was gibberish. Um, but I we were still every day going over those letters and numbers. Samaya comes home and we have a picture. Um, he wanted to hold her, and so we put the Bobby on his lap and let him hold her. And Samuel just goes, it'sy bitsy spider. And we like We were shocked. We said, whoa, wait, what the world? Like he to not be talking, and he starts saying that. And like after that, we saw, like, I never forget, I said, you know, everything was a lesson. I my mama taught me that, like, you make everything a lesson for kids, you know, to build their language and increase their vocabulary. Wow. So we were in book line, and I said, Samuel, what color is this on daddy's shirt? So Andrew had a red shirt, but it had these stripes on it. I said, Um, Samuel, what's this? Um is that blue? Because it was blue. Um, and he said, No, mommy, it's uh it's aquamarine. I said, Aquamarine? I said, so I said, well, what's this, Sammy? He said, um, that's amethyst. It was to me, it's purple. But he said, that's amethyst. I said, is this yellow? He said, no, ma'am, that's gold. I said, I was like, where is he getting all this stuff from? And he he goes to my mom and my mom throughout this time. She was like, there's nothing wrong with my grandbaby. She just said he's where he's supposed to be because she was a preschool teacher and a director of a daycare. She was like, I don't accept it. You know, she was like, Well, Sammy knows this and he could this, that, and other. My grandbaby is, you know, how she has grandparents can be. Thank God for her. And so she like tested him on the was it, the Briggs uh test or something. I can't even think of the name of the test, but she tested him and she was like, Nope, he's fine. This is all he has to know. And he knows more than this, so he's fine. Wow.
SPEAKER_01:Including the social truth, because a lot of the aspects of autism, of course, is social, social, social elements. And when I tell you this kid is popular, he's popular, he is incredibly popular. And he's very social, and he's very, very, very social. He's such a cool kid. He's amazing. Junior scholar, plays the cello, taught. By the way, check this out. He's taught himself.
SPEAKER_03:Yes.
SPEAKER_01:Uh the bass, the mandolin.
SPEAKER_03:Oh my god.
SPEAKER_01:Banjo, the uh, what was the other thing we got from ukulele? The uh the liar or something, yeah, liar, yeah. Something like that.
SPEAKER_03:Andre used to get him get on my nerves a little bit in high school because Andre could literally play every single instrument. Like every single instrument. Like, and I didn't mind. It didn't bother me. You know, he would pick up a flute. Andre started, he started out playing trumpet, and then one day he was like, Oh, let me see if I can do this flute. Oh, yeah, I can play this. Oh, let me try a package on it. I can understand this just like clarinet, but he played a clarinet. And I was cool. So he picked up my tuba one day. And he was like, Oh, what? Oh, this is easy. He played tuba and started playing mommy. I was like, this ain't fair. This is not fair. This ain't right. To the point where Andre was playing, picked up a completely different instrument. Like, was it junior year you started playing French horn or senior year?
SPEAKER_02:No, senior senior year.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah, completely started playing a new instrument in the band, playing people's flute solos better than them. Like, it was ridiculous.
SPEAKER_01:I got first chair on the French horn, and then Mr. Mr. Clayton ended up giving me like this dick solo during that that uh trip to video game.
SPEAKER_03:Yeah. So Samuel did not Samuel did not feel this. Yeah, but you know, Brandy, as you were talking, um, you know, when we go back to kind of the beginning of you guys' relationship and the first act, and people wonder why it's so important to build that foundation at the beginning, a foundation of integrity of I got, I have this person's back. I want to see the best for them. Um I'm and I'm invested completely in who they are and in who God is in this relationship. And we were knit together, not on what we selfishly want out of a relationship, but we're knit together in purpose with God and in community with God. And when you face these moments where I really think these are more of our intermission moments where the lights have gone off and we're backstage, and like Andre said, you cut everybody off, right? And now you're on, you're backstage and it's just the cast, right? It's just the people who are in the story. We've cut out all the noise. We're not, we're not trying to perform for anybody. We're not, we are trying to figure out how are we gonna get back out on the stage? How are we gonna carry the story forward? You know, what everything that's happened thus far has been a lot. I need to take a moment. And you know, I think a lot of times when we think about the acts of a play, you know, you have your first act and there's a story there, then you have a little intermission that's a break, and then you have a second act. It's not a lot of people who call their own timeouts. Right? Like, it's not a lot of people who say, uh, Lord, I need an intermission. Hold up, hold up. We, you know, and Andre, as the leader of his home, you know, really saying, okay, listen, we're going backstage. We we we gotta go back here and get the plan and get the script. I need to revisit the script. I need to, I need to figure out something needs to be redefined so and because whatever it is.
SPEAKER_01:You said what I said and talk to the director if we need some more guidance, some instructions.
SPEAKER_03:I love it when somebody takes a metaphor and run with me, right? Go backstage and talk to the director and say, hey, we need to have a one-on-one meeting about about the script, right? And he knows where it's going. You know, you only see kind of the hard trial that you're in right now, but nobody would have known how beautiful this story could get. You know, and I um as you guys are talking, you have multiple things going on, right? You have house fire, you lost everything. You have baby, uh, two children, and one that you're, you know, trying to steer away from what people are saying about him because now you're having to rewrite in your mind. What his future's gonna be because somebody else is trying to write another narrative. Right. Somebody else is telling you. Telling you about, telling you about adult diapers for a two-year-old is bananas. Uh-huh. Right. But they're trying to project that far down the line. And it's in these moments when you get to a moment where somebody else that's not the Lord, that's not the playwright, that's not the director, right? That's not the author of your story, starts giving you a different script and says, this is what your life is going to look like. This is what your future is. You know, there has to come a moment where we reject what's being given to us that was not given to us by the director. And it's going to take a moment to recalibrate to go back to the original script. And that's what the intermission is about. I need a moment to go backstage to figure some stuff out. And I again, I love that Andre was like, uh-uh-uh-uh. Everybody backstage. Everybody backstage. We going to meet with the director and whatever he says, that's what we're gonna do. I ain't trying to hear what nobody else got to say. Right? But again, a marriage that is founded on that, you can make that call when you get in the middle of it. Right? But the ways, sometimes the ways that we are beginning things is making it more difficult when we get in the middle of something like that. Right? Brandy, in the lowest moment of her life, had a rock. Not she had the rock of her Lord and Savior, who also sent her a rock of a husband that could hold her up in that moment. And I'm sure Andre felt all kinds of feelings in that moment too. Right? But they both knew which rock they had to go to together. And so I think that that's beautiful that, you know, you guys went back. You willingly went backstage. Sometimes the Lord got to drag us backstage. Because, you know, we be like, I'm gonna figure it out. I'm feeling the Lord be like, intermission, cut the lights right now.
SPEAKER_04:Y'all ain't listening. Let me let me cue you back on over here. He pulled us plug, really.
SPEAKER_01:Yes. And then you get to today. And man, what can I say?
SPEAKER_03:Tell me about the second act, Andre. What happened when the Lord pulled them curtains back up? Because listen, I go ahead. No, I was just gonna say because there's there's many pieces of the story, right? We had house fire, we had uh diagnoses, we had law degrees, but working in education, losing jobs, trying to figure it out. Yes. Where did God bring resolution to some of the things, challenges that you faced before?
SPEAKER_01:Listen, so it the the I would say probably we really started, and I didn't think about it until then, Brandy. But um, so Brandy passed the bar back when she was pregnant with Maya, right? But because of everything that went back with Samuel, getting full-time into law, you know, didn't happen until later because we were so focused. Now she was she was always an attorney, she always did work for it, but she ended up, you know, she finally said, All right, I, you know, let me just step out on faith on on my side, because I was still, I still had I had us on the on the um, I still taught and I still had our um, you know, providing that way. She said, let me go ahead and step out on faith and create the law firm. Let me go ahead while and then make the way for went out when it was time for me to come out to do so. And that was in what 2019? 18. 18. Um so she goes out, uh, steps out to to make uh to to make our uh um on her own to make the business. At the time it was Brandy L. Small Attorney at Law, LLC. Um, and then we she pops up with twins. Right? Um, and we can go over that story later. While she had the IUD that worked since Miles, since Maya was born, the daughter puts it in and it works for six years, and it is fine. And one day, I said, What's your last cycle? Doesn't mean the IUD didn't affect the cycle, it was just uh it was the no no hormone based on um just topper wire one.
SPEAKER_02:I said, What's your last cycle?
SPEAKER_04:She said, Drake, I don't know. See, he's not telling you. So this is what happened. I was coming home and I was so sleepy, I would literally just fall asleep like right there. And I was texting um our friend Brandy, and in the middle of the text, I fell asleep. Hey Brandy, she fell asleep. And Brandy, when I told her later, she said, Girl, I was thinking, how did she fall asleep? She was typing. Um, I fell asleep. Um and so he goes on there and he texts her and and says, you know, uh, Brandy, she fell asleep. I when she wake up, I'll tell her to go back and text you. Um, and you know, just a little thing, because we all Andre and I have always shared phones. There's been times when he's had mine, I've had his. So he just went right in there and he texted her and said, Hey, you know, she fell asleep. The next day, I get up and Andre like brushed past me. And I like hit him. I said, Whoa, why would you hit me in my chest so hard? He said, Girl, I hit you in your chest. He said, I just like brushed past you. But the sensitivity was on a level 100 out of 10, I would say that much here.
SPEAKER_01:And then Maya before then.
SPEAKER_04:Oh, so that was the night that I I messed the uh I fell asleep on Brandy, that was a Friday night because the Saturday we were gonna go take the kids skating, all the kids skating. That Wednesday, Samaya comes to me, and um before she got she they the kids always, even to this day, they come and give me a hug before they go to school. Andre was about to take them to school. So she comes and gives me a hug, and she says, uh, she touched my belly. She said, Mommy, there's a baby in there. I said, Samaya, you don't say that. That's not nice.
SPEAKER_01:Don't just go into people's family.
SPEAKER_04:I was like, you trying to say I'm fat or something? You know, what you what you what is this, you know? And so I said, girl, go to school. Like, I was like, love you, might go to school. So they go off, um, or what have you. And then the next thing, um, that Friday, I fell asleep. Saturday morning, I walk into Andre, the sensitivity's on a thousand, and he said, Wait a minute.
SPEAKER_02:Lord, with an IUD, you can feel the strings.
SPEAKER_04:Andre said, I haven't felt the strings. And so he said, Oh Lord. He walks when I said, when I pushed him and I said, That hurt, he he looked at me, he said, walked out the door. He goes to Walgreens and he buys two pregnancy tests. I said, Why did you get two? One is sufficient. He got two pregnancy tests. And I took it and it came positive. He called the doctor's office that day because he was like, wait a minute, we have that. This was a Saturday. He left a message. So he calls the doctor's office. They end up getting us in really quick. And I thought of it, so we went to meet Brandy that um Saturday or what have you. And then I thought back, I said, Maya was right.
SPEAKER_03:I was like, how did she know? Next point. She is Maya is always right.
SPEAKER_04:All our children are super holy and super spiritual. I I would tell you, and it's so funny. I laugh at it.
SPEAKER_03:I was gonna say the the way I knew Samuel was talking is because y'all sent me five million videos of him saying scriptures. Like that boy knew Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.
SPEAKER_01:A holy, real talking over each other, but yeah, Maya was praying in the whole well, and we can tell that story later, but she she is, she prays. Oh yeah, um, and at that age, and just jumping forward, she ended up she ended up praying. I'll never forget, she she prayed in the Holy Spirit, and she she told us when the twins would be born. Yes, and she was right. Um on their birthday, November 6th. Um, she Sam couldn't find the remote to his TV, something like that, right?
SPEAKER_02:Right around that same time.
SPEAKER_01:Right around that same time, and Maya stopped everybody in the in the in the um room, and she she could she started praying. She was moving them out. She wasn't loud, but she was moving out until she was praying in the Holy Spirit. And um she said, hold on, and she ran back and came back with the remote.
SPEAKER_02:What's the girl?
SPEAKER_01:Listen, let me ask you a question. What the new what the lock numbers are?
SPEAKER_03:I'll be submitting my prayer request to my. I'll be like, come in, Maya, while we over there playing with the uh with the goo and with the with the beads, and Maya, you know, you know, your auntie needs a husband. I'm just playing. What has the Lord told you, daughter?
SPEAKER_01:Right, girl, please let me know. Let me know.
SPEAKER_04:That girl, that's so bad. She be never wrong. She won't lie to you. Cause she's thinking, well, God didn't say anything about that. That's exactly when when she the story where she told me the day that I was gonna have the twins, she um she was sitting down there. Andre and I were sitting on the couch, we were watching TV, and Mike was just, we could see she was praying and we could see her lips moving, like you could hear something, but you couldn't hear what she was saying. And she was just like this, and she turns and looks back at us and she says, Um, mommy, God says you're gonna have the twins on November 6th. No, November 7th. No, no, no, no, November 6th. I said, I looked at Andre and I was like, Okay, baby, you know, and I just kind of went with it. And then I, you know, that pregnancy was a little more difficult. Um, because you get older, you know, it was two of them. And, you know, all the fear about twin-to-twin, transfusion, and all these other things, you know, that God saw us through. But um, I went to the doctor and I got the paperwork to set my C-section date, and it was November 6th. I took a picture of that thing and I called Andre. I said, Boy, do you know what day they say they're taking the babies? Oh my god. He said, What? I said, November the 6th. He said, She was right. And I was like, Oh my god, he's right. And I can't do not, like, it like blew my mind. And she's she's still like that today. She'll tell us things. Um, she's very perceptive. Like, if she thinks the twins are about to do something to get hurt, she'll go and um like she'll preempt. Yeah, like she's she's uh I she's like a second mom to the house. Um because she's always, Dad, you're forgetting this. Mom, don't forget this. Uh uh, Sam, where's your your you know, your instrument? Where's your music?
SPEAKER_01:Twins, I still said we uh dad, you said we were gonna uh uh read the Bible this year. I think it was last year. Read the Bible this year in January. Um it's March, so when are we gonna listen? Maya be keeping y'all together. When are we gonna when are we gonna do what you said we were gonna do, Dad? I said keeping y'all together. Turn your Bibles to Genesis, please. We're gonna have to do something.
SPEAKER_04:Everybody had to go that night. It was like 10 o'clock. She said, Dad, I keep asking you, and you said you're gonna do it. Um, we're supposed to be reading the Bible. Here it is, March. Like we have it started. And I was like, dang. She was my y'all.
SPEAKER_03:I'm trying to keep things together.
SPEAKER_04:Okay. And I, you know, I I read look, I read my kids' text messages and things like that. The number of times both Sam and my I've seen them praying for their friends. Samuel took an extra, he for their free read time. Samuel would read his Bible. I said, Boy, you know, you can read whatever you want to. You don't have to read the Bible. He said, No, Mom, this is just what I want to do. Okay, but that's fine as long as five school, you're fine. And one day he got his second Bible, got the second Bible because we got two books, two Bibles from Walford when we graduated, one for Andre, one for me. And he um he ends up taking the second one. I said, Sam, your book bag is heavy. Why are you taking another Bible? He said, one of my friends was having a panic attack, and I told him, You just need to read the word. And so I'm taking it. I said, Oh my God, this is tickling me. And then this week I get Maya's phone because we know we got their password, and I I'm going, I click on a phone to like to try to get into it and type in the passcode, and I see her lock screen, and it's I can do all things through Christ who strengthens me. And I was like, Y'all know what?
SPEAKER_01:Like it changes every day too.
SPEAKER_04:Yep, and they send the scripture in our family group, um, our larger family group and everything, and they they they read their Bibles. Samuel was like four, and I remember Pastor was reading the scripture. He said, and not by Mike, not by Power. And Samuel, who was sitting there on the floor playing with his toys, he sings, but by your spirit, God. And it's not like you would know it because he's not singing Tasha Kobb's song, but he's reading the scripture, but Samuel could hear it, and he starts singing in the middle of church. I said, Lord, have mercy. But they have always amazed us. And like the twins, when they were talking about a tornado, they they prayed and they said, Well, mama, no tornado came here. Uh, are we gonna pray? Like they keep us together as a family.
SPEAKER_03:That traveling from the that to today, yeah, it's amazing. But I love that that your children have become the second act, right? Like that, because you know, I'm as you sit here talking about like Maya and Samuel and the twins, like I met Andre at the age that Samuel is now. I don't remember me and Andre talking. I never had no Bible when we were kids in class. But you know, but I I love how there's been something that your relationship, the foundation that you guys built in your first act, right? It's being it's being realized in your children who are who are walking at a completely different level than we did when they were at the when we were at their age. And not that we weren't walking with the Lord, you know, but they they have it, the things that they're facing are also 10 times more than what we were facing at their age. But they also have 10 times more of God. Um, and so every trial and everything that you face in the first act, right, it's proving its why in the second act, um, and that they have what they need and you guys have what you need.
SPEAKER_01:And if I could, if here and I guess to be the final thing that we talk about, what I love about what God did for us professionally. Because now, as we talked about when the came, twins came with Brandy um coming out, um, coming out and we hanging a shingle and sheet starting a law firm. Well, when we talk about all the delays and things of that nature, and I won't get into how it was delayed, but um when I just when it seemed like that this aspect of of our of our career, us both being attorneys, both having our own firm. Now we have a small law firm, when when it seemed like it was denied us for so many years, I was like, God, why? What is going on? I I don't understand God why is you know I graduated in 2011, I don't get licensed in any anywhere until 2023. You know, and I'm like, what is going on? I am now licensed in three states. Come on here, talk about it. Had I had I not had God not do done it the way that He did, I can't go I can't go go through it through every detail. And I in a different podcast we might share that story where Brandy, where God spoke to Brandy and helped shift my focus and how I attack attack coming out from on my on my side. Yeah. And I ended up taking the bar in North Carolina, I'll say that, and blew it out of the blew it out of the park. Not, you know, not too long, but I God, God did that thing. And then now to for me to be able to say I'm licensed in three states, that I work alongside my wife, that we have small law firm LLC, that our kids have a have a have an entity or have a have something that they can now, because Sam is serious about being an attorney, that he can come out of school and walk into. If I had just if I had taken and passed the bar right as I got out of law school, I I I wouldn't be here. It was I in the the bar I ended up passing was a completely different one than was than what was offered to me when I first came out of law school. Wow. It was it was a uniform bar.
SPEAKER_04:Let me say this too, Andre. I think also our focus would have been different with our kids, and I'm gonna tell you why. We're sitting here tonight, and like on any given day, we could be um out at the office. We've been out here at 10 o'clock, 12 o'clock, and the kids are at home, they're calling us, and we FaceTime and we make sure to have food there with um their grandmother, uh, with Andre's mom. And so, and and on most days, we are super, super busy. And so that time that I that we had to pour into Samuel, to pour into Samaya, because there was also a time when someone tried to diagnose Samia crazy. Uh, and so we we had like all of these things that I believe that God set us up for where we could love our children to where they needed to be, grow them up in Christ in a way that we wanted them to be. And now that we have them where they are, we can focus on our careers in in this way. Um, so you know, when Andre and I start reminiscing on, you know, things that have happened or what have you, I told him, I said, well, you know, Dre, I don't know that we can be mad about them. I said, I think I have to thank God at every stage because I can see today why things were the way they were at that time and why they are the way they are now. Um, and I think he knows better than we do. And I I, you know, every time we start to question God, it was like, you know what, just because he knows better, he knows you're faithful, he knows that the things that you're gonna go through, but he knows all. And so what we have as our plans are not what his plans may be, but he makes them perfect. And I told Andre this probably a couple years ago. I said, Do you really? As spouses, we've never gone through um like some big old fights and all these other things. I said, but I laughed about it. I said, we were too busy fighting the world. I said, we don't have time to fight each other. And today we spend pretty much all day around each other. I mean, sometimes he's at court here and I'm there. But generally we are around each other. And when I think back to when Ms. Brenda Haddock asked us to tell God what we wanted for our future, everything we're living today is what we wrote on that paper. And we always said we wanted to work for it.
SPEAKER_01:Um we wrote that when March, I remember March 2020. 2012. Yeah.
SPEAKER_04:She told us to write it down to see where we are today that she was talking, uh, that that she had us to do. And then um, you know, I we always get the questions, and we've gotten this forever. How can y'all be around each other all all day? Like, this is what Andre say he could breathe. I could breathe around Andre. Um, you know, I know he likes to toot my horn as his wife, but he, like I said, he's a phenomenal person. He's a very protective person, and he's funny, he's silly, he's goofy, he's all those things. And so why wouldn't I want to be around him? Um, like there are times I tell Andre, I just wish I could get in your skin, like and be that close to you. Um, and it's like uh, well, you know, you're around your husband all the time. Why do you need to get in the skin? It's so comfortable. Like it's so beyond sex. It's beyond like the things in this world. It's the comfort, it's the the just the love, the peace, and all those things. Um, not saying everything is perfect, um, but I can't tell you where there's an issue. Um, not between the two of us, and we we haven't had that. Um, thank God, because in the line of work we do, we see couples that go through that. Um, but I like I really thank God for where we are. I don't have to complain about my husband. These conversations I hear today about who's gonna cook and what you're bringing to the table, those have never been conversations in our household. Whoever is available to cook, that's who cooks, who's available to clean, that's who cleans. And it's to the point. And it always has been this way, where Andre always tries to out love me. If I wake up, not if I wake up, when I wake up, if I'm not gonna be with Andre, he set the car up for me to go. He's put my my bags in there, he's like got uh pads, snacks, chocolate, whatever it is. He he knows that time, he'll have everything set up for me. And you know, we have those conversations, and he said, Well, what's the thing you love about me most? Of course, you love for God. I said, But as a wife, it's that you anticipate my needs. I don't have to ask you anything. I'm not begging you to help me with the kids and all this and the other because the kids go with their dad. Like he don't babysit them. He these are his kids. Shoot, he the one wanted all of them. Um, you know, look, because talking about the twins, the truth is we still had the IUD. I was supposed to go get it taken out, but I was dragging my feet on it because I wasn't really ready because I had just started, you know, my own practice. But I said, well, Dre, you know, I'm getting up in age, and I'm not gonna be, you know, too old having children, too much older, because I've already had c-sections. And I listen, I know what that's like. The first one is a lot easier than the the last one. Um, and not that that's an old age, but I'm talking about the the years that I from when I started having kids. Um, because I think these women today are on to something with the older age having children because you're more settled, I will say that much. But I will say that we we we literally um at that time, I said, Do you want a third child? He said, Yes. I said, Well, I'll go make an appointment. I didn't make the appointment. We got pregnant anyway. And she told me it takes six months to a year. So we never made it to the appointment because got pregnant with the IUD there, right in place. Um, and Andre, I said, Well, well, honey, how many more kids do you want? Because I he said, Well, I would like four. I said, but honey, I'm gonna tell you, I don't I only have three pregnancies in me. I said, because them C-sections are not something to be trifled with. Um, and then with black maternal death, I, you know, I don't want to keep putting myself in that position. And when he said he wanted four kids, and I told him, I said, I don't think I have three pregnancies in me, but if you after this third child, if you will talk. And God literally goes for one. He both hold them on us. Listen, and I could not imagine my life without my twins. They are so amazing to me. But like the way, like, and I cried that whole pregnancy because I was just like, it's hospital. Andre's grandfather had died at that same hospital that I was gonna have to deliver. Like, it was a whole lot of things, but God was with us. But I would say, like, the the way that God orchestrates things, when I look back on my life and I look back and I look daily at pictures from old, I can't do anything but thank God. Wow. You know, little country bumpkin trying to go to Walford, like broke, impoverished family, didn't have the resources, but I I literally meet the love of my life and the person who is doing life with me, who cares for me so deeply, like it's I can't explain like the the the joy, the peace that that brings. The world is chaotic, but with Andre, it's it's not that. Like, I could we we ride in the car and he's massaging my head. Like, and he'll he'll reach around me, put my seat back, and say, just go to sleep. He's driving me to court and I'll answer some emails. He was like, just take your little nap because you're going so much. Just take your little nap. You know, that kind of like he he just cares for me deeply and loves me deeply. Why would I be mad about that? And to see our kids are today, where our life, um, where our life is today as a as a whole, like Dekuta, I can't do anything but just thank God. This this next chapter has just been one of gratitude. Yeah, and and just uh thankfulness and just uh thank you God for showing us new mercies, new grace, but thank you for writing the like setting our paths. He knew us from the beginning. He knew I would meet Andre um and have the kids that we would have. And I wouldn't change it for a world. Even it changed it for the world, even the hard times at this point. They don't even uh they were hard. They were, but they don't matter.
SPEAKER_01:Yeah, they don't. I don't think I cry a well. I was never never well when I got so low, and I never forget saying to Granny, I lost my whole life.
SPEAKER_02:Yeah.
SPEAKER_01:That broke Granny's heart. She went to pray. So and I I share that that part of the story, just literally like what what you're seeing now, it is the second act. And everything isn't all the kinks aren't worked out. Yeah. But we are a far cry you know, um the further home than what from from that place. We in it it is awesome where we are. And I think in this second act, when the world, the more unstable and chaotic the world gets, I create stability in my home. Create stability for us. It's only instituted by the man if there is one, you know. I set the pace for what my home looks like. That's not a that's not a chauviness thing, that's not a uh uh um a macho thing. Is it but I I I am I take my role and my family very seriously in what God has has has commanded us as men to do. And I don't I I don't know it all, but I know who I know I know where to go. Yeah and that that what sets it up for the for the next stage.
SPEAKER_03:Let me tell y'all something. It's just what it's more than I have been trying to convince them for years to host marriage seminars, okay, to write books, uh, but I decided, you know, since I had this podcast, I give y'all a little bit of what I get every time I'm around them. Because I take, I take all my little relationship issues, and I tell people by uh one of the best couples I know. Um, you guys are absolutely phenomenal. I I love your story, but what I love more is that your story is not a man over here and a woman over here. It is really a union, and it is God has carried you together through every season of life, through everything that He's done for you and done with you, through everything that you've encountered, you've done it together. Um, and I think that you have never failed to give God glory in everything that He's done for you, whether it was a challenging season, whether it was a season that brought you to your lowest point, or a season that brought you to your highest point. I have watched you give God glory in every season and in every setting. Um, and I think that is why God continues to elevate you. And as much as he's blown your mind thus far, I can't wait to see what this year and the year's coming look like because he's not done yet. He is not done yet. You know, they say a baby changes everything. Well, y'all had two of them, and them babies, them babies elevated your life. You know, the thing that you weren't playing for, you weren't expecting. Everything started coming, the pieces started coming together when God introduced that new uh new piece of your story. And I think that God has more introductions yet to make for you guys because you're faithful. And um and I and I'm personally I might be biased, but I think everybody needs to could benefit from hearing about how you guys love each other and how you love God and how you love your family. So thank y'all for being on the show, friends.
SPEAKER_04:Thank you for having us. Look, we would have um it's not that we wouldn't share, it's just we're not just who are we? You know, who are we? You know, everybody has a different path, but I I do understand that, you know, we we help people with our testimony, and and and I'm talking about Christians in general, like that's how you overcome blood of the lamb and you the words of your testimony. So I do understand there's a place for that. Um, but I don't think that we are just somebody special um or what have you. But I we do thank God for the what he has given us.
SPEAKER_03:Listen, for the the power of your testimony is um, and it's not a power that we claim for ourselves, it's a power that we recognize to how God has worked through our story. So I'm so appreciative of y'all. I don't know if we said this in the beginning, but guys, this is the season finale of the first season of the second act. And my Lord, what a way to go out. I really, really, really hope that you guys have received value from everything we shared in these first six episodes. I have more to come. I want to tell more stories. I want to tell more testimonies. I want us to keep encouraging each other in the Lord. There's a lot of things that the enemy can take from you, but he can never take away the power of God that has worked through your life. Um, and when we share those stories, when we share our testimony, we remind the devil and everything that opposes us how big and how powerful our God is. So listen, friends, thank you for like, sharing, and subscribe. Hey, quick shout out. Shout out the law firm. If anybody's looking for legal services, where can they where can they reach you guys?
SPEAKER_02:Go ahead, babe.
SPEAKER_01:Um, we are located um at 810 Dutch Square Boulevard, suite 206, Columbia, South Carolina, 29210. Our office number is 803-339-1661. Um, please um, our website is www.smallfirmsc.com. That's s-m-a-l-l f-i-r-m s-c dot com.
SPEAKER_03:Awesome. And we will make sure we have that link on all of the uh websites where we stream the podcast. All right, guys. It's been a wonderful season. It's been a wonderful episode. Thank you guys for rocking with me. Listen, if you are pushing through a season of your life, if you are pushing through a circumstance and you know God has more for you, remember you do not have to stay stuck in intermission. You can raise the curtain to your second act. We'll see you guys on the next season. Bye.
SPEAKER_00:Thank you once again for listening to the Unlearned Podcast. We would love to hear your comments and your feedback about the episode. Feel free to follow us on Facebook and Instagram and to let us know what you think. We're looking forward to the next time when we are able to unlearn together to move forward towards freedom. See you then.
.jpeg)