She's Brave Podcast - Kristina Driscoll

How to Push Yourself Out of Your Comfort Zone with CEO of The NoW NYC, Sarah Hammond

September 26, 2023 Kristina Driscoll with Sarah Hammond Episode 53
She's Brave Podcast - Kristina Driscoll
How to Push Yourself Out of Your Comfort Zone with CEO of The NoW NYC, Sarah Hammond
Show Notes Transcript

Welcome to the high-energy and motivating world of Sarah Hammond, CFO of the Network for Women in New York City! Awakened from her super-competitive and go-go-go life as a top corporate recruiter, she now uses her natural abilities and learned skills to coach women through her company. Given her natural tendency to never shy away from challenges and leap toward risks, she has learned to balance that in order to work smarter, not harder. Her personal and professional lives mirror this balance, exhibiting her mantra to do less, not more, and focus on well-being and fulfillment. Sarah is a mother, wife, fitness enthusiast, and all-around exuberant soul, whose storied background fuels her desire to support and empower women to thrive.

In this episode, you will be able to:

  • Push yourself beyond your comfort zone with baby steps leading to bigger steps.
  • Learn the importance of not being attached to outcomes.
  • Set yourself up for success and the steps you can take to do so.
  • Realize that YOU ARE THE PRODUCT OF THE 5 PEOPLE YOU SPEND THE MOST TIME WITH and observe and evaluate carefully who you surround yourself with.
  • Learn how to stop and check-in with yourself, and ask "Is this serving me"?
  • Learn that all actions have costs and benefits.
  • Make positive changes to your lifestyle by asking yourself, "At what cost am I living the lifestyle I'm living?" and make changes accordingly.
  • Discover the importance of sitting in stillness so that you can hear your "internal GPS".
  • Find inspiration in knowing that WOMEN DON'T NEED PERMISSION.


About Sarah:

As an entrepreneur, Sarah O'Brien Hammond is a community creator, life and career coach, and recruiter. She creates safe and judgment-free containers for women to gather and discuss what matters most. In her coaching practice, Sarah works with over-functioning, high-performing women who don't feel aligned (inspired, motivated, challenged, purposeful) with their work or life. She supports women in designing their dream life/career, gaining the confidence to go after it, and designing a roadmap to getting there. She is also passionate about ditching the hustle-and-grind mentality and achieving success differently. She lives in the Big Apple with her two teen daughters, husband, and french bulldog, Champ! 


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Kristina:

Hey, it's Christina Driscoll posted the she's brave Podcast. I'm so glad you're here with me. When our son was five, my husband was diagnosed with early onset Alzheimer's. For the next 12 years, I learned how to be brave, resilient, and live my best life. On the podcast, we're going to meet so many amazing, brave, authentic and resilient women who share their own journeys of how they learned how to be brave, and are now living their best lives. Step into your best brave life with me. And let's go on this journey of how to be brave together Hey, everyone, it's Christina with the she's brave Podcast. I'm so excited for today, you guys. Today we have Sarah O'Brien, Hammond. And Sarah, you have this incredible drive. We're going to totally get into that and you are doing so many amazing things for women in the world. But let me introduce you first. I'm just like a racehorse getting ready to go because there's going to be so many exciting topics that we're going to cover today. Here we go. You are the chief community officer and founder of the network for women driven your own life's journey. Your mission is to bring together growth minded women through diverse and unique experiences focused on helping them live their best, most fulfilled life. I love it already. By day, you're one of New York's most successful recruiters. I totally want to talk to you about that about having motivation and, and drive and how all that works for you. She's also a proud mother of two daughters, a wife and a fitness enthusiast. What started as a side hustle quickly became her life's work and purpose. She started the network for women to connect, support and empower women who like herself. Were looking for something more. She's also the podcast host of below the surface. Welcome. Welcome, Sarah.

Unknown:

Thank you so much, Christina. I'm so happy to be here. And thank you so much for having me today.

Kristina:

Ah, yeah. Okay. So Sarah, you work in recruiting, you have this incredible drive. I want to unpack that a little bit more, because I have drive too. But I know that working in recruiting takes a lot of courage, because you're literally cold calling people. Can we talk a little bit more about that? Yeah,

Unknown:

I mean, I think that drive can be a double edged sword, for sure. And for many years in my life, it worked to my advantage. And so I think, you know, when I was born, I kind of came out ready to conquer. And I'm a very goal oriented person, I'm very much open to risk, I'm not risk adverse. In fact, I run toward risk versus away from it. In the world we live in, when you have that drive, and that motivation and that productivity mindset. The world pays you handsomely for that, typically, if you're good at it, and I did it for years, and yeah, it prospected my own clients, I cold called into companies, I created relationships, and nurture those relationships, and was always a top salesperson at both recruiting firms in which I worked. And it was because of that tenacity and emotional intelligence and drive that I was successful. And mindset is a huge part of it. I attribute my mindset to my success. Absolutely. And it served me really well until it didn't, until I realized that I just didn't want to live a life that was just all about like this productivity and hustle and at all expenses, right? Like if you're at all expenses going all out. And I just realized I didn't want to live like that anymore. And I sort of hit a wall and thought, wait a minute, I think there's another way to achieve success. And so it's really about working smarter, not harder, because I worked really hard for a lot of years. And now I'm ready to work smarter and not necessarily as hard.

Kristina:

I love that so much for the benefit of my listeners, because some of them are on the younger side. I'm finding out even as young as 25 all the way up to like 80. So some of them may not know what a recruiter does, and to me like I'm very impressed. I'm impressed with everything you've done. We're going to unpack not just the recruiter, but also your organization and things like that. But I want you to explain what a recruiter does because for me, like you did that when you were in your 20s I'm going to be 100% honest I I wouldn't have been able to do your job, it would have been terrifying and scary to me. I mean, even starting my podcast was like one baby step at a time for me. And even now, I'm reaching out to bigger and bigger names. It's hard, and it's scary. So tell us a little bit more about. I know, I know, we're going to talk about slowing down to and prioritizing and working smarter instead of harder. But I would love to know how you got to this place of being like a top of sales. Yeah, more about being top of sales. How did you do that?

Unknown:

Well, it first one to say like you're doing it, right. Like you were like, it scares me. But you're doing little baby step at a time. And so that leads to expansion, as does big steps at a time. So I don't think there's one versus the other. That's better. I think that all needs to be applauded. So just to say that, and I think it's wonderful that you're pushing yourself beyond your comfort level to reach out to people that you might be like dying a slow death inside when you do it, but you're doing it and I think I'm doing it. Yeah. Yeah, that's awesome. So yeah, for those of you who might not know, recruiting is really a professional matchmaker of sorts, if you will. So my job was really to find clients companies that were looking to hire, and then find the candidate, the perfect candidate and create the match. And so agency side recruiting is really kind of like running your own business, because you only get paid on the deals you close. So it's very much a sales oriented job. And that you have to really, you'd be working really fast, really hard. You've got to have a lot of balls in the air at a given time. And you really want to create and nurture these relationships. I mean, most of my client relationships, were years I've had them.

Kristina:

So fascinating. Yeah. Because you had you had people who were sought after, like, maybe we'll just give an example, like a high up executive in Apple, and an and Microsoft wants to hire them. And you're trying to broker that deal. So you're trying to cultivate a relationship with the employee at Apple, to try to get them to move over to Microsoft.

Unknown:

Exactly, exactly.

Kristina:

That just sounds really hard to me, because you're having to call this bigwig at Apple and be like, Hi, I'm calling to see if you're interested in a position this company.

Unknown:

Yeah, I mean, I think like, I always look at it as like, who wouldn't be open to that conversation, right? Like, I think everybody should be open to a conversation about their career doesn't mean that you're looking to leave, but it's always great Intel and data for you to have, right? Because maybe Yeah, yeah, your own company. And better that company, like, what is this other company offer? And what are the benefits? Like, oh, well, we don't have that at my company. I'm interested in leaving, but good intel to have, I might take that information and add it to my company. So I think it'd be a real lost opportunity. If someone was like, no, no, I'm good. I'm all I'm happy in my job. Because you never know what can happen tomorrow, companies get acquired company goes bankrupt, there's so much that can happen, that nothing's truly secure. Like, let's be honest. So anybody who doesn't take a call, in my opinion is a little bit short sighted and quite frankly, I don't think is very strategic about their career. So yeah, it was really about creating really shifts on the employer with the clients, but also with the candidates, which are the job seekers. And then the past job seekers, they might not even be looking right. And

Kristina:

so a lot of times they're not from what?

Unknown:

Yeah, so it's really creating those relationships, remembering them reaching out to them really thinking about what the drivers and motivators are. So when you get the great job in that, like, oh, gosh, because you know, you've got to hear about this job, like it checks all your boxes you're looking for. And then they might say that one job that you call them for, well, you know what, that sounds good. Or maybe they just have a crappy day, that day, they're like, You know what, I'm ready to throw my hat in the ring. I don't want to be here anymore. And so it's really about quitting those long term relationships. And I've always been in relationship based jobs. And when I looked at the threat of my life, like even when I was in retail in high school, and I worked in restaurants, when I moved to New York City, and it was all about creating relations, it was all sales space to is all about customer service and upselling and I was always the top waitress because I was always upselling and I was like, quick to a table. Do you want another glass of wine? Do you want to add dessert you know, as always that one that was always able to get higher check averages because I was just able to create those relationships and give them opportunities. Ultimately, that's what I

Kristina:

I love. I love your attitude. Like you basically have this attitude instead of going in and being like, in my case, oh no, I'm reaching out to this famous author. They're not going to want to hear from me but you basically what I just learned something. So you know, when you're in any kind of selling position, whether you're a waitress or your recruiter like you are or whatever you're doing, basically, you have this incredible positive attitude. I'm helping this person, why wouldn't they want to hear from me? I'm just trying to help. I'm trying to make things better, literally. And that's me too. Like I'm trying to get women's voice says, across the globe, you know, and I'm trying to help women make themselves better. If they who doesn't want to be a part of that got me all enthusiasts stick to,

Unknown:

and you're just providing them an opportunity. And that's the way I look at you know, I run a practice, I run a coaching practice and I went run a women's community. And no, I don't think anyone you'd meet would say that I'm salesy. That's just not my style. What I do is I tell you, what I the offerings I that I provide, and people want, they want in because they see the success I've had, and they see the life that I lead, and they want a piece of that, they want to know how they can lead that type of life to, and if they don't, that's okay, too, right. But I think like when you I look at it from a lens of if you don't give someone that opportunity, you're depriving them. So that's not cool. You don't want to deprive someone of an opportunity to be on your podcast, I don't want to deprive someone of an opportunity to coach with me. So I let people know what I do. And then they're either in or they're not, or it's an honor to know for now. But that does not mean it's a no forever. And so that's something I think it's really important for people to remember to know is not a forever now. It's just right now, it's not the right fit for them.

Kristina:

Wow, I just love how you frame things in your mind. It's mind blowing, you basically are like, Hey, guys, this is an opportunity. I don't want to deprive you of whatever, yeah, you don't want to deprive people of the opportunity. They can say yes or no, which is means you don't have an attachment to the outcome. You're like, Hey, here's my thing. You know, here you go. Take it or leave it, we're good. And no, for now, maybe later. I love that so much. I just be like, I learned a ton right there.

Unknown:

Well, you nailed something really important. Christina, as you said, you don't have an attachment to the outcome. I think when you are in a position where you are and that's people didn't touch the outcomes, because their scarcity mindset, maybe they're also there's desperation like maybe they have to pay a bill or maybe they like, you know, and when when that seeps into a conversation, and you're trying to convince somebody that they should take advantage of an opportunity, that becomes a different story. And then you're attached to the outcome. And so I think what's really important for entrepreneurs out there, and for people in general, like you just gotta have a lot cook it right? Like, yes, conversation a day, if yes, or sessions a day, it is yes, going up and talking to groups of people, I'm putting my hat in the ring to be a speaker at this events, I'm Yes, you note speaker at that event. And so it's like you're constantly putting yourself in environments where opportunities can present themselves, and that at my desk all day, reaching out to the same people, I'm gonna get the same results, which is not, you know, if it's, if it's not what I'm looking for, then I'm doing the wrong work. And so it's just, I think you have to recognize you can't be tied to the outcome. And you've got to continue to put yourself out there in lots of different arenas in front of lots of different people for different opportunities to present themselves.

Kristina:

Yes, I actually learned that on my podcast, too. So that's a trick that I've been using and reaching out to guests is, I've tried to reach out to so many that I lose track of them. And that way, they never get back to me, I probably won't remember anyway, it's a great tactic. You can't just laser focus in on one or two or this or that you're just always out there, always getting the opportunity to do whatever. And it's, it's so incredibly beautiful. So I am going to switch gears a little bit. Because I know there's another side to this, I'm gonna quote you. You've said I stay committed to welcoming in ease and flow, and resisting the temptation to overextend myself, successful find me and doing less, not more. It's just like this divine dichotomy, because you've got this, obviously, your dominant side was always the GO GO GO DO DO do more and more and more. And as you mentioned earlier, at some point, that didn't feel right, so let's talk a little bit more about that.

Unknown:

Well, I think that GO GO GO is masculine energy. And again, like, I think when you live in a city, like New York City, and when you are an over functioning high performer like I am, society applaud you for that they do, right, like I was making a lot of money, and my employers were very happy with me because I had no boundaries, I was always accessible, and I would do whatever I needed to do to be successful, which meant success for them. So they were applauding me, you know, all the way to the bank because they were making a shit ton of money off me too. And so you know, really what ends up happening is I call it a midlife awakening versus crisis, which seems a little bit too dramatic for me, but really this awakening of like, is this the way I want to live my life and the biggest question that I asked myself that stopped me in my tracks is what I want this life for my daughters, and when your mother, your kids or II Eating up you as a model. They're eating up everything you do, the way you talk the way you present yourself, the way you show up to the world, the language you use, the way you treat people, they're drinking it up. And I would excuse myself from dinner, I would be on vacation, not really on vacation, taking calls closing deals, I, you know, there was this constant, excuse me, I'm sorry, I need to take this. Always I was on the sideline of my girls, soccer games and basketball games closing a deal. And I just was at one of my daughter's soccer games, and I realized I was off to the side taking yet another call. And I just got really sad, sad for my daughter sad for myself, and I just didn't want that anymore. And I think like I really had to ask myself, like, what is this all for? Right? Like, yeah, you make all this money? Like, is that really what life is about? And believe me, I think everybody should make as much money as they want, because it's a powerful exchange. But you really have to ask yourself at what costs. And for me, I wasn't willing any any longer to be taking a call, or sending an email or responding to a text while I was with my family, or with myself, I wasn't willing to sacrifice it any longer. And so I realized that I needed to exit the environment in which I was in because that was just not the sales environment that I was in. That's just not the way people work. You had to be accessible at all hours, managers did not have boundaries, they did not respect others people's boundaries. And it's okay, it's not specifically isolated to this particular company. It's the industry as a whole. But I knew I could achieve success differently. And I knew that I, I didn't need to operate like this any longer. And so I really strategized on how am I going to exit this? How am I going to create my own and do it in a financially responsible way. And that was May 2020, that I exited my corporate agency job and you know, made a very handsome first year salary. And I'm off to a really great second year. And I'm don't work on Fridays, and I shut it down at five o'clock on every day of the week. And I don't miss any of my daughter's sports events, or any important events for my family. And it's just a non negotiable any longer. What I want every woman to be empowered to do if they want, if they want, but most of my clients come to me and they say, I'm done. I'm done. sacrificing myself. I'm done sacrificing my family. I'm done sacrificing the things I love doing for what? So I can be the top person at work. So what so I can make this amount of money. This by the way, I can't even truly appreciate because when I'm traveling in Europe, I'm still taking calls on vacation. Like what is that?

Kristina:

Yeah, that's so incredible. I'm really curious about burnout. You worked really, really hard. For many, many years. How did you prevent burnout?

Unknown:

I am sure I was burnt out. Oh, you you were burned out? You just I think I was plowing through burnout. I you know, I think I was just like heads down, mustering through it at all cost. You know, I definitely feel that. There were symptoms of burnout for sure. But I'm also really healthy like I'm an athlete, I do triathlons like workout every day. I'm a plant based diet sounds like you are too.

Kristina:

Yeah, actually, I wanted to say So Tim, she just cut out there after asked her when after I asked her about burnout and how she handled that. So we're gonna go back and usually I don't have internet issues. But yeah, let's start with I'm actually gonna go back and ask you the question again, and that that should make it easier for him to Okay, so, okay, here we go. Okay, so Sarah, you obviously worked incredibly hard for years and years and years. And I'm super curious about burnout with you like did you have it? How did how did all that work? Yeah,

Unknown:

I'm pretty confident that I exhibited all the symptoms of burnout. I think I like everything I just buckled down and mustered through I Just plowed through I think that having a very healthy lifestyle outside of work, like working out and eating well, and getting massages and doing all the things that I think kept me above water truly helped. But I think I just have a high threshold for pain. But I think burnout, a sustained periods of time has such powerful impacts on folks that you know, I think I just surrendered when I when I had that awakening.

Kristina:

Yeah. So before that you just basically powered through it, you earned your way through it. And until one day, you were like, This is not how I want to be living my life.

Unknown:

Exactly. Yeah. I mean, if this was not the way and more importantly, this is not the way I want my daughters to live their lives. I think that will stop any mother in their tracks. And it certainly did me. And I knew that I had to do some serious, serious thinking about the way I was living my life. And restriping.

Kristina:

I love that so much. I don't think I've had a guest. I've interviewed over 100 people, and I don't think I've ever had a guest say that they were thinking about their kids and being an example like, especially for a woman to be an example for her daughters. That's, that's really powerful. Yeah,

Unknown:

I mean, certainly, it just realized, like, you can really see them modeling. I mean, when you think of the other day, I was walking down the street in New York, and I saw this young girl smoking a cigarette. And I thought to myself, first of all, do people still smoke, that was my first laugh. And then my second thought was, I looked over to the person she was sitting with, and it was her mother, and she was smoking. You know, it is so powerful that mentoring and a lot goes on sad, right? A lot of it was that mother did tell the daughter to smoke. But the daughter saw the mother smoking probably her whole life, and just thought that was normal. And I didn't want my daughters to think leave excusing themselves at dinner, and taking calls every all the hours of the evening. And having week calls, conference calls on the weekends was normal. That's not normal,

Kristina:

for sure. I want to talk a bit about the network for women. Tell us more about

Unknown:

that. Oh, sure. So that was really built through my own life journey. It's a community of women that really supports women personally and professionally, and talks about the things that are top of mind but not found in mainstream conversations, like the important stuff like body image and sex and mental health, and financial literacy and relationships and partnering, and kids and parenting and all the things that were like googling or talking to our therapist about but nobody else, like those are the things that we talk about. And I really wanted to find that type of community in New York, and I was really in search of it. And I thought I live in one of the biggest cities in the world. Of course, it must exist here. Well, it didn't. There's not professional communities, there's a lot of personal communities, but there's not one that marries the two. And so as happens with most businesses, you see a need, and you build it. And so then I created an in person, community that offers safe and judgment free spaces for women to gather and talk about the things that matter most.

Kristina:

I love it. I love the fact that you were trying to find this thing and you couldn't find it. So you said okay, I'm just gonna create it. I love it isn't

Unknown:

that we're good that the best businesses are born like, yes, it really was like, it's kind of sad, like, you know, I belong to a lot of women's communities in New York, which I love. But they all serve different purposes. And now the network of women, it was in person prior to COVID. And then we transitioned like the rest of the world to a digital platform. And now we're in our third iteration, which is a hybrid. So we do in person and digital events, because we're global. And so you can join anywhere you are in the world you can join. Um, so yeah, and our members just feel seen and heard and seats and to talk about things that really matter most. And I think that that's rare to find to be able to show up in an environment, a speak your truth, right? And then be not have someone jumping down your throat to like, give an opinion or suggestion or recommendation, like, you know, just let people speak.

Kristina:

It's a novel thought,

Unknown:

but it rarely happens.

Kristina:

Yeah, I agree. I think we've lost our tribes. And you know, 100 200 years ago, we lived in small communities. And as women, we had a tribe of women, we all helped each other out. And that doesn't exist, unless we create it in today's world.

Unknown:

Yeah, it's so very true. And it's really sad. You know, I think the rates of loneliness are just continuing to rise. And I think women feel this immense amount of pressure on their shoulders to do it all. And most of them think to do it all alone. And I think life is not meant to do alone. Like we're social creatures, we are meant to be in community. And so I love the fact that we can offer that to women and offer that safe space for them to show up and connect with other women learn from other women and be part of something bigger.

Kristina:

Definitely, definitely. So I want to talk a little bit about motivation, because this was a big career switch for you. I was listening to a really interesting podcast the other day, and it was about motivation, and how I think we as Americans tend to think that we have to feel motivated all the time. And that is so false, because a lot of the times we don't feel motivated to do the things that we need to do to start that business or start that podcast or change our life in some way. What are some of the tips and tricks that you use to help keep you going when you're not feeling motivated. Ah, such

Unknown:

a great question. And you are so right. Like, sometimes there's this dichotomy of like, I'm so overly motivated to motivated. And then there are times that I'm like, I can become really lazy, right? So there's two sides of it. But for me, there's this book called atomic habits by James Cleary, I think it says his name. And he talks a lot about like, how to set yourself up for success, right? Like, if you're gonna go to the gym, and you know that it's not something you love doing? How could you set yourself up? Right? How can you lay out your clothes, or put your shoes at the end of your bed, or, you know, schedule, the time that you're going to go put them in your calendar, if you're going to eat healthy, like don't have crap in your food, don't have crap in your kitchen, right? Buy good stuff, don't have a ton of food in your house, if you tend to be someone who overeats or tends to be somebody who likes to kind of just snack, have limited options, have a lot of like, clean food in your house have a lot of live food in your house, like fruit and such. So it's like, there's all these little hacks, I also think, meditating, I meditate daily that absolutely contributes to positive mindset, I my philosophy and coaching is positive psychology. So there's a lot of like showing up every day from a positive perspective. And like any muscle you flex, the more you show up like that, the more you just live your life like that it's weaved into the fabric of who you are, I show up and I'm like, it's gonna work out, everything's gonna work out. And if it doesn't, that's alright, we'll figure it out. And so I think, you know, it's mindset work. moving my body every day is absolutely helps me to have the motivation to continue throughout the day, I workout every morning, so and I eat really healthy, I try to like feel my body with healthy foods. So I think those all those things contribute to setting you up for success. But there are going to be days, like this afternoon, I took a nap because I was tired. And that's what my body needed. And I had to listen to my body. And that's the difference between now and the way I used to work is now I actually listen, I take a nap. And before I would be like powering through, I just work differently. And I make just as much money, everybody, it's possible.

Kristina:

I love this so much. It's just going against basically the mindset that everybody has work harder, work harder. And you do you know, that's how it is you just have to work harder and more, more, more and more.

Unknown:

Yeah, yes. Because guess what, that's what corporations corporate America wants us to think and society wants us to think. And so you know, you have to kind of look beyond that first row, right. And you have to look beyond it. Because there's lots of people doing success differently. Lots of people, the smartest people in the world aren't working 90 hours a week, I assure you that they're working harder. And so you have to look for inspiration beyond the front row beyond the people you already know. Because likely the people you already know are probably operating similar to you. So you've got to find people outside of that, that you'll oh, wait a minute, oh, wait a minute, oh, these people are all doing it differently. And then you know, be able to be alongside those people. That's where you're gonna find real success.

Kristina:

That's so good. That is so good, Sarah, because I have heard that we are the product of the five people we spend the most time with. So I'm a

Unknown:

huge proponent of that you're the average of the five people you spend the most time with. So audit those people and be really protective of who you spend your time with. Absolutely.

Kristina:

So some Yes. And I think that sometimes when we start to change, those relationships can kind of change, maybe we see some people more and some people less doesn't mean that we don't have to see them at all. But I think that's something really important. It's a key to focus on, that we need to really pay attention to who we are spending our time with. That's so well said.

Unknown:

It's so very true. And I and especially if people are looking for change in their lives, especially and so a lot with my coaching clients, it is a lot of really evaluating who you spend your time with. And do you want to live that life? Do you aspire to live that life and in many cases, they're the people they're spending their time with? Are energy suckers. And they're like, oh my gosh, I do not my gosh, they deplete me. They're living in a scarcity mindset. And they're always Negative Nelly and I'm like, Oh, wow, well, guess what? That will seep into your DNA, if it already isn't already. So you know, and I also, I know that can be hard, right? Like, it's hard when you realize and I've realized it with some of my friends, doesn't mean I like break up with them. It means like I'm cognizant of how much time I spend with them. And so you know, I think like sometimes you have family members, you can just break up with your sister. You can you can be cognizant of the time that you're giving her and The energy you're allowing to be given to her and the energy received from her. So I think it's just being mindful. And I to be honest with you, what I think stands in the way for personal and professional success are two things, time and dreaming. People do not stop enough to think what they even want from life. They don't give themselves the time to pause, to even design a life to live with intention. People are just responding to life. They're just reacting to life. And then they get ticked when they're like, well, this isn't the life I want. I said, well, then what do you want? But they don't know. Because I've never stopped to ask themselves What if you could have the perfect marriage? What would that look like? If you could have the perfect job? What would that look like? And I recognize that sometimes those can be daunting questions. And so I give my clients the tools to be able to design that. And so sometimes when you're given a blank canvas and set and someone says you could do whatever you want, that can be overwhelming. And so I give my clients the tools to be able to start that canvas, and to really give them the prompts and the exercises to really think through. Okay, what does an ideal partnership look like for you, because everyone deserves that. I've been married for almost 20 years. And we're constantly we do love courses, we do various things together, we're starting a podcast together about relationships and marriage. And, you know, I think it's a work in progress. It's, you know, I want my marriage to be the best it can be like I want it to be, and it's pretty damn good. But it can always be better. I

Kristina:

just love your attitude, like even so it's the same as work as as your marriage, like, Oh, I'm just, it's a work in progress. I want it to be better. I love that so much. I wanted to share a story, it kind of takes us back a little bit to the topic of you know, pay attention to who you're spending your time with. And I, I loved how you handled that how you said, hey, look, it's not like, you can say to your sister, you drain me so you're out. Right? No, it's not that meant spend a little bit of less time and, you know, learn coping mechanisms. But you know, I'm actually a widow, I don't think you knew that. But when I began dating, again, the best piece of advice I ever received, but really, you could use this for any relationship. But in this case, it was for dating relationships. This woman said, when you go out on a date with somebody for the first time, after you say goodbye, and you get back in your car, ask yourself how do I feel right now? And if you feel pretty good, you know, I feel pretty you don't you feel pretty energetic and you feel good. That's a great sign. If you feel exhausted and drained. That's not the right person for you. And that was like the best piece of advice. It's so

Unknown:

true. That is I couldn't agree more with you, I think. And again, it's back to that stopping and just asking yourself because again, people get in the car, they check their emails, they're off to the next thing. And they haven't even paused to say, did that serve me did that. And so, you know, I'm telling you, like, I just spend, I do silent Sundays. And so I spend whatever part of the day silent. And so this past Sunday, I was away with my husband and I was silent till dinner till six, we sat down to dinner, and I have no technology. So it's me in my space. Me just me thinking, being creative. And I'll tell you what, like, without having those pacifiers. I call them to check your text, check your social, check your Instagram, check your email, you're left with yourself. And it's pretty freakin amazing. But people don't do that. Yeah,

Kristina:

no, they don't. They don't. And I've actually been gradually using social media less and less. And it first it was really, really tough. It was really tough. I love podcasts. I will always Yeah, I walk for an hour in the woods every morning near my house will you know I do a hike. But and I listen to I listen to podcasts while I'm hiking. I know I'm not supposed to do that. But I love podcasts so much that I want to be learning all the time. You know, but getting rid of the not doing as much social media I tried to I've just been gradually checking it less and less. Because I noticed that doesn't really make me feel all that great. You know?

Unknown:

And yeah, and it's so beautiful. Because you're checking in with yourself and asking, Is this serving me? Yeah, thinking about your emotions. And it's the same thing with with what we eat, right? Like if we could just stop and pause before we put food into our mouths to just be really grateful for all that went into getting this food not only the person that prepared it, but the farmers and the person that transported it all the stuff right? And then just eating it slowly and appreciating it and then if you have a reaction to it, stopping and being like not just taking a pill gas axe because that's what you do, but like, oh, maybe there's something I ate. That didn't serve me. So you know, it goes to I feel like every part of your life this could be applied to.

Kristina:

Yeah. Yeah, you are so wise, Sarah. It's amazing. It's amazing how you went from this really, really hectic frantic life with like, no room for reflection, you know, reflect, you know, deep thought or anything and how much you've transformed and changed. It's just, it's just amazing to me.

Unknown:

Oh, thank you. And I just want to give other women inspiration and hope because I think that it can seem like there's no other choice. And I just want to say there is there is there is there is it's just society and corporate America are really loud. And so that's why it's important to practice some stillness so that you can silence some of that external chatter. Like just silence it so you can hear what your insides are telling you. I mean, my my internal GPS was yelling at me for years like Sarah slow down, years and years and years and years and years. In fact, my parents the common message My whole life has been Sarah, I wish she'd slow down my parents until this day, they even say that to me. Um, so that's been a common theme of my life. And so, but my, my by my insides, were yelling at me to slow down. But the external world was so loud, and I was really subscribing to it so diligently until I finally slowed down until I finally started implementing some meditation to silence that noise, and some stillness to really look inward. To say, oh, wait a minute here. Wait a minute here. There's another way. Wow. Sarah, well, I,

Kristina:

I have loved this conversation. So so much, I think my listeners, we are just all benefiting greatly from this conversation. I want you to share with us where we can find you and where we can connect with you, and possibly work with you. Because you, you're amazing. Oh, thank

Unknown:

you so much. I've loved chatting with you. And thank you for the work that you're doing. I mean, the world needs all of us, right? They need all of us to be able to support women, to empower them to give them permission to live the life they so rightfully deserve. And by the way, women you don't need permission. Yes. conditioned to believe that we do. And so I'm here to say you don't need it. And we're here to support you through.

Kristina:

Yeah, and you are like my, you know, every guest I have is a dream come true for me where a woman's voice is being heard by women around the world. It's just encouraging women around the world to live their best life. It's so beautiful.

Unknown:

Oh, thank you so much. And yeah, people can find me. Instagram is the now and why See, our website is the same the now and one C and you can DM us directly there. My email is Sarah Sa ra h at the now and yc cio.com. So you can feel free to email me. But yeah, I The invitation is open to all of your listeners. We have age demographics across the board. I think our youngest members 27. And our oldest member is probably in our 80s. So I leave it and you know we have members that are singled and widowed and divorced we have we have members who are entrepreneurs or working in corporate America, we have members that are gay and straight and bi and polyamorous and you know, we are an inclusive space and you really feel best when you're around people that aren't like you. That's where true learning happens.

Kristina:

I totally agree with you. That's why I have this deeply curious mind. And so I love to interview people who are really different than me. I just I feel like I benefit greatly from it. Same, same, same same. Yeah, yeah. Okay. Well, we will be sure to put all of that in our in my show notes. And you have a website too. Right? You did you mention that.

Unknown:

But now nyc.com Yeah, okay. Okay,

Kristina:

perfect. We got to get that in there. I love your website. I did. Kind of kind of look around in there. So great. Thank you so much for sharing your wisdom with us today. It's just been pure joy.

Unknown:

Thank you so much for having me. I'm so grateful for you and for this conversation. And I just really thank you for all the work that you do with the world needs.

Kristina:

Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy life to listen to today's episode. I love learning about what makes you brave. I'm here with you. I see you. I hear you and I want to hear from you. I want to know how you're showing up as being brave and authentic. Connect with me on Instagram at she's brave podcast or come join our community in the she's brave podcast Facebook group. I'm sending you so much love. Until next time, keep being brave.