She's Brave Podcast - Kristina Driscoll

SLOWING DOWN FOR THE HOLIDAYS with Annemarie Stolting

December 05, 2023 Kristina Driscoll with Annemarie Stolting Episode 63
She's Brave Podcast - Kristina Driscoll
SLOWING DOWN FOR THE HOLIDAYS with Annemarie Stolting
Show Notes Transcript

Is something pushing you to slow down? Is your body, mind or are circumstances in your life giving you signs that things need to change? Annemarie Stolting, host of the podcast, Let’s Slow Down, knows exactly what to do. She and Kristina discuss their experiences in life revolving around the need to have a more balanced life, how to be less busy, have more time to relax, and especially, pertaining to the ever-so-stressful holidays. 

In this episode, you will be able to:

  • Assess whether or not you need to slow down
  • Be equipped with tips to have balance in your life, especially around the holidays
  • Begin to give yourself the space to take it easy when you need to and do so with grace
  • Understand that the key to balance is intentionality and mindfulness
  • Imagine what balance looks like for you and understand the power in that
  • Accept that it’s ok, even healthy, to say ‘no’
  • Embrace change, understanding that it doesn’t have to be forever

About Annemarie

Annemarie Stolting is the host of the podcast, Let’s Slow Down, where simple, intentional living is the focus at all times. Her mission is to help people sloooowwww down, having balance in their lives, especially around the holidays so that life feels more carefree. In Let's Slow Down's weekly episodes, Annemarie and her guests provide her audience with fun conversations that encourage listeners to ease up on the daily grind and adopt a gentler mindset that supports intentional living. She even has tips! Signing up for her 12 Days of Holiday Ease email newsletter offers easy daily strategies to de-stress during the holidays!


Connect with Annemarie:

https://pod.link/LetsSlowDown
https://www.instagram.com/letsslowdown2023/?utm_source=ig_web_button_share_sheet&igshid=OGQ5ZDc2ODk2ZA==
https://www.facebook.com/profile.php?id=100090279101378
12 Days of Holiday Ease - https://subscribepage.io/s47a3w


Connect with Kristina:
Instagram
Facebook
Join our Podcasters Facebook Group
Website

Loved this episode? Leave us a review and rating here: https://podcasts.apple.com/podcast/id1660488233

Unknown:

Hey, everyone, it's Christina Driscoll host of this she's brave

Kristina:

Podcast.

Unknown:

I'm so glad you're here with me. I did not start out brave at all. But I learned that we can do brave things, one small step at a time. After caregiving for my husband and son for 12 years, it was definitely time for my next chapter. I wanted to get brave women's voices out there in the world. And more importantly, I want all of you to have the courage and the resilience to live your best authentic life. So come along with me and learn how to live your best life. And I want you to hear the brave voices of women all around the world.

Kristina:

Hey, everyone, it's Christina with the she's brave. Podcast. The holidays are here. Yay. Or is it? Yay, I don't know. We're all starting to get stressed out. Well, we've got an awesome episode coming up today, my dear friend, Anne Marie Stoelting. She's the podcast host of let's slow down. It's about easing up on your daily grind and adopting a gentler mindset that supports intentional living so beautifully said, Anne Marie, is one of those people that when you listen to her, you just instantly feel more grounded, more calm, more centered. And she is so wise in this area. The holidays. And by the way, Hi, Anne Marie. I'm so excited. Christine, I'm not letting you talk. That's a good sign though. The holidays are here. And I always start out with the best of intentions to keep it chill and slow down and enjoy this time of year. But Anne Marie, I wanted to ask you, I always end up frazzled right before Christmas. And I know I'm not alone in this. I'm sure all my listeners out there. We all need this right now. We're a few weeks away from Christmas. So how do we not get to that frazzled place?

Unknown:

The million dollar question, Christina. It's a tricky one. This is something I struggle with as well. And like you said, we go in with the best intentions and we're not going to overdo it. We're not going to over schedule it. And somehow there is just a layer of chaos that comes with the holidays. And I celebrate Christmas. I love Christmas. It's one of my favorite times of year. And it ends up being very stressful most of the time. So I'm glad we're talking about this today because I need a reminder as well. My whole philosophy that I've really adopted over the last few years and with my podcast is simple, intentional living all the time. So that goes for right now as we're entering the holiday season, and every regular day as well. So I think the key is planning ahead and being intentional with everything regarding the holidays, right? So taking some time now, before they really hit and think about how do you want them to look? How do you want them to feel how you want your credit card statement to look afterwards.

Kristina:

All that was a great point. I

Unknown:

think being mindful of it and thinking about it right now before it totally hits. And I'm sure a lot of you have started your shopping already and already have a lot of you know, fun things scheduled on a calendar. But there's just so much and there's still plenty of time to kind of pivot and move in a little direction. If you are already feeling a little bit overwhelmed. Entering the holidays, now is the perfect time to regroup and make some changes if you need to. So I have a couple of I don't even want to call them tips, but suggestions because you know what, guys, I don't pretend to have this all figured out. It's a journey. It's a process. I'm learning every single day as well. And it's different for all of us. Right? So I was thinking of a few things that I want to be more mindful of this holiday season. And I find that they are helping me so hopefully they'll help all of you listening. So might as well talk about shopping first right because everybody associates, I know you play the word game Christina Christmas, you associate it with shopping. You just do. Yeah, yeah, that's right. We still have a couple of weeks left. So I know there's been years past where I'm like, okay, by, you know, November 1, I'm gonna have everything done. But there's still time, I think every day closer to the holidays, it just gets busier out there. And even if you're going to do your shopping online, it just gets busier, right, the deliveries take longer, everything just gets slower. And if you're out and about, God forbid, you try to go into a mall or something like it just gets that much crazier, harder to get a parking spot, longer lines, all of it. So I think if you can get ahead of it as much as you can, if you can do stuff online, that's probably less stressful. Try to have a budget in mind. Like I said, think about that January credit card statement. Just keep that in the back of your head as you're going through, because this stuff adds up quick. And a lot of us are vying for a lot of people. So just being mindful of that how much you're spending how much you want to spend right now is a really good time to maybe see where you're at, and decide how much more wiggle room you have, and how much more you want to invest, right? You're investing in this. I'm a huge fan of decluttering. I am not a fan of stuff. I really am not. And I know, that's not everyone's belief. But everyone has a different love language. I know that some people giving gifts or their love language, they like to give so many gifts and lots of them and to lots of people. That's not me. Okay, I think stuff is stuff. So I like to try to buy practical things that I know people need. Not that they're totally boring, they can still be fun and practical, but useful things. I just don't believe in just giving something just to give it like running to the dollar store buying all this kind of junky stuff just to give more presents, that's just not me. So being very intentional about the gifts that we're buying. So maybe taking that extra step and talking to the people that you're buying for, like I have the nephews that I buy it for. So talking to my sisters like, Hey, what are they into? There's something that they need? Is there something that I love that bond?

Kristina:

I think it can really, really help so much even asking the person directly? Or in the case their mom, like you're saying, because sometimes the answer that comes back can be totally different than what you thought. Right? And you can save yourself a lot of time and guessing. Yeah,

Unknown:

cuz then there's like that guilt too. On the other end of it. Like it's happened to me before we're someone clearly put a lot of like time effort money into the gift. But this is just not just doesn't make sense for me. And then you feel this guilt of like, well, do I donate it? Do I read gift it? What do I do with it? Do I return it, you feel bad about it. So trying to just take that extra step and talk to whoever is on the receiving end of the gift so that it can be more special and more personalized for them. And also just remembering that you can do other things, you can get creative, you could give experiences. My sisters both moved farther away now. But we used to all live kind of nearby. So my Christmas time, me and my sisters and their spouses, we would go out, we'd have a nice dinner, we'd connect we'd spend time together. And the money that we would have, you know spent buying things that we probably didn't need, we just put towards a really good meal

Kristina:

and quality time, instead of an actual physical gift. Think about quality time together in some way. That's so incredibly beautiful.

Unknown:

Yep. And experienced this to like even a magazine. I know everything's online now. But especially kid they like to get something in the mail. So maybe a cool magazine subscription. So those things still exist, guys, and you can still give something like that. So just being creative and being intentional about the gifts. Yeah, the next thing I want you to focus on, and think about his scheduling. You don't want to over schedule, and we can forget that there's only 24 hours in a day. Because we're getting invited to all these fun things with people that we want to see friends and family that we love that of course we want to spend time with. But you have to remember I mean years ago, there were days during the holidays that I would have two or three places to be. And I was so exhausted by the end of it, that it wasn't fun anymore. And even though yes, if that party had been alone, that was the only thing I had on my Saturday then it would have been wonderful, but bouncing around from like this lunch to get to the next thing on time or then you're running late because there's more traffic, you get stressed about it. It takes a lot of the fun and enjoyment out of it. And I didn't really feel relaxed because I knew I have to leave at a certain time running, running running. Some people thrive on I am not one of them. So really thinking about what you can handle. I am more of an introvert. I need my space So I love being with people, I love going to family parties and things like that. But I also need to be mindful of,

Kristina:

I need a little breather room in between. Yeah, and I just wanted to add in also Anne Marie, that, for my listeners to know, you're a very busy person, you're a mom to three kids. So it's not like you have all this free time and raise three kids at Christmas. It's,

Unknown:

yeah, and we have huge families. So trying to see everybody in these family parties are big. I mean, when I tell you that Thanksgiving, we used to rent a hall, because we had so many people. So Christmas is a little smaller, but there's a lot of people and it's always amazing to see them. And it's heartwarming. And, you know, I think that visiting with friends and family is really what the holidays are all about. So it's important, but we can have too much of a good thing. So just keeping that in mind. And I do have three kids. So talking to your family, whether you have kids or not talking to your spouse, like, all right, that whole piece of how do we want the vision? How do we want the holidays to look like just sitting down now ahead of time? And kind of hashing that out a little bit? Like how much is too much? Or which people okay, who haven't we seen? Who do we want to make sure that they're at the top of the list, we have to see them like maybe somebody's visiting from out of state, you haven't seen them in a few years, or whatever it is, having those conversations ahead of time so that you can make sure that you prioritize certain events or certain people, I love it. So I think another thing to really keep front and center is your health. So having time to rest getting enough sleep, your diet, all of those things. So for me, I like to make sure I have some downtime. And the last few years I've kind of unofficially made December 26, sort of like, stay in your pajamas all day and lay by the fire read a book, whatever. That's what I do. And

Kristina:

a beautiful ratio. I think that's a fantastic idea is December 26 is a down yeah, that's fantastic. Just show and I work take that day off. It should be Yeah, because I think we need that time.

Unknown:

Because between Christmas Eve and Christmas, it's like a whirlwind. And then just those days leading up to it, it is a lot. So even if you're really good about scheduling it, I think by December 26 Everybody needs a minute to regroup, chill out. If you have young kids, it's a great day for them to just go play with all their new stuff, do their own thing. I generally like to make a fire and just lay there and drink coffee and wine and read my books and chill. Ah, so, so good. So everyone go mark your calendar now. December 20.

Kristina:

Oh, my calendar done.

Unknown:

Yeah, so that's something I look forward to it now. And if I'm feeling a little stressed, it kind of is the light at the end of the tunnel. It's also nice with New Year's right around the corner to take that time and think about everything you just experienced. And looking ahead to a new year. It's just a good day to sit with your thoughts and relax a little bit. It's always a good day to do that. But yeah, December 26, put it on your calendar. Yeah, love it. And then getting enough sleep is so important. We are out more around the holidays. So I would imagine that most of us are getting less sleep than we typically do. So trying to be mindful of that trying to keep some sort of bedtime routine when you can. I think that's very important. And then along with that goes your diet because all of the diet stuff affects our sleep, right? Like if we're drinking a lot more coffee, wine, eating a lot more sugar that's going to affect our sleep. So we're going to treat ourselves for sure. I believe we should at the holidays. And I don't love the word should. But I think the holidays are a time that we should have the treats, right? Have the dessert have whatever it is that you want to have. But everything in moderation is very important. And I think it's a good reminder, okay, like I already had this today, maybe I don't need another desert now or another glass of wine. And I'm drinking a lot of water. Maybe on the days that you don't have like a dinner or a party or something on the days that are regular days in your home. Being extra conscious of cooking really clean, healthy, nutritious foods. It will benefit your body so much drinking a ton of water and I actually just looked something up on the Mayo Clinic website about alcohol. I love wine. I drink wine. I'm not against it. But the Mayo Clinic says alcohol really should be used moderately. So what is moderately mean? What is moderate use one drink. It's five ounces of wine 12 ounces of beer. And these wine glasses these days are enormous. So I think we think we're pouring ourselves one glass of wine and it's probably like three If so, just something to think about, again, I'm not against wine or anything like that. But just everything in moderation. The Mayo Clinic calls heavy alcohol use more than three drinks in a day or seven in a week. So I was like, Huh, that's a lot less than I thought. So just something to think about. Let's focus on our health and you know, have the wine but have it moderately. So the last thing I want to say is that it's okay to say no, I was recently at a meeting at my church, and there were some older people there. And this one older woman, they're just so wise. I love talking to them. I love being around them. And she just said sometimes No, is a full sentence. Oh, and I was like,

Kristina:

yes. Yeah. And the indication behind that is, I think so often, we feel like not only do we need to say no, but we have to explain ourselves. And it's in our power to just say no, and during the holidays, I think that catches up to us, too. We're saying yes to everything he does. And we need to be very mindful of maybe there's some things we need to say no to.

Unknown:

Yeah, I we don't have to necessarily go into like a five minute no guilt fest about why we have to say no, and we don't have to do it. Yeah. Hey, yeah. And you know what, most of the time, people are like, okay, yeah, I get it. You're busy. I get it, you have too much on your plate? And if they don't, they don't, we can't control that. And that's something I'm saying to remind myself of right now. Because we're not going to make everybody happy. Yeah. And there's been years past where I have said yes to so many things that I just felt like I didn't have in me to attend and to commit to, but who,

Kristina:

but you feel like you have to, and you're, it's not serving anybody because it's not, but you're not fully present. Exactly. People sense that it's

Unknown:

exactly and you're exhausted, and then you kind of are resentful of it. And I just don't want to feel like that. So just say no, put up your boundary, if you need to. It's something I mean, I'm always working on this, and I don't think I'll ever have it mastered. But this is a good time to remind myself and everyone listening that these things are okay, so give yourself grace. And really, just try to maintain your own well being as best you can. So listen to that little voice, listen to your intuition. And if you're starting to feel like you're getting to that point, you all know what that point is for you. It's different for everybody. Listen to it, just listen to it. And if you have to back out to something kind of last minute and do it and do it sincerely, you know, you don't have to be nasty about it or have a chip on your shoulder about it. Just say, You know what, I am sorry. I just don't have it in me today. I can't come beautifully

Kristina:

said. And it's okay. Yep. Oh, Anne Marie, this episode is just a godsend for this time of year. I know everything you said these tools, I'm just going to be able to apply them this month. And because we want to be present for the holidays, and I think what happens is usually by the end of the month, I'm no longer present. I'm just running around like a checkout with my head cut off. And not really enjoying the holidays.

Unknown:

Yeah, because they can take away from it can take away from that feeling. And I I was always like, where are those Silent Nights wherever? I want it. Yeah, all is calm All is bright. Like why? When would that written? Yeah.

Kristina:

Yeah. And if not, before, we will get it on the 26th. Yes, so much great advice. And Marie, any last words that you would like to share with my listeners about how to have a peaceful present December.

Unknown:

I want to just wish everybody, happy holidays, enjoy that time with your family. It is such a special time. And they say the number one indicator of happiness is connecting with our friends and family. So this is the time to do it. And as you were saying, allow yourself the gift of being present for it. So whatever you need to do to get to that state of mind, do it. Just do it. And enjoy this time, you know, our families evolve and grow and change. So enjoy where you're at right now. And, and one last thing along those lines. They aren't going to look the same every year, the holidays. I think, you know, we get hung up on these traditions sometimes and traditions are so valuable. I think they're so important that traditions can change. And maybe if one year something is dropped, it doesn't mean But that tradition is lost forever, you can bring it back the next year if if time allows if all the stars align, but just look at it as one year at a time, just take it one thing at a time, one holiday at a time. And try to go with the flow as much as you can just try to follow your intuition and listen to your gut. Because I think that we're a lot wiser than we give ourselves credit for. And deep down, we do know what's best for us. But we try to meet these expectations of everybody else and our society and all that external things. So just take some quiet time to sit with yourself and go with that feeling beautifully

Kristina:

said. So share with us where we can find you where we can follow you because I know I'm going to be checking your Instagram posts or Facebook posts and checking in with your content during this month. It's going to be so helpful. So where can we find you?

Unknown:

Sure. So the best place to find me where I am most present is my podcast and it's called Let's slow down. And it's available pretty much wherever you listen to podcasts, so you can check me out there. And on social media. I'm on Instagram and Facebook and you can find me at let's slow down 2023 Beautiful.

Kristina:

Thank you so much Anne Marie. This was a beautiful Christmas gift to all my listeners.

Unknown:

Thank you for having me today. It's been a pleasure and I want to wish you all happy holiday season. Me too. Happy holidays everyone.

Kristina:

Hey, everyone. Thanks so much for taking time out of your busy life to listen to today's episode. I love learning about what makes you brave. I'm here with you. I see you. I hear you and I want to hear from you. I want to know how you're showing up as being brave and authentic. Connect with me on Instagram at she's brave podcast or come join our community in the she's brave podcast Facebook group. I'm sending you so much love. Until next time. Keep being brave.