Real Men Are Disappearing Here's Why

The quiet crisis of modern manhood is no longer quiet. We open with hard numbers—men over 30 living at home, obesity near 40 percent, rising anxiety and addiction—and ask why so many feel stuck in extended adolescence. From there, we trace a bigger story: when nothing demanding is required of men, nothing durable is built within them. The result is fragile confidence, failing habits, and relationships that never get the chance to root.

We dig into the classic cycle—hard times create strong men, strong men create easy times, easy times create soft men—and make it practical. For most of history, necessity forged character. Today, safety nets, cheap dopamine, and endless screens buffer consequences just enough to keep men comfortable but unfulfilled. We talk about how that comfort erodes purpose and how the antidote is not shame but responsibility: choosing pressure before pressure chooses you. We also explore why strong, steady leadership still matters to women and families, and why complementary roles can be a source of joy rather than conflict.

You’ll hear a raw personal story of adversity, from addiction to prison, and how hard boundaries and daily standards created strength. Then we lay out a simple plan: build mental, physical, and spiritual capacity with daily hard work; trade hours of gaming for skills that pay; lift, walk, sleep, and eat like your future depends on it; pursue service in your relationships; set a 90-day target and make it non-negotiable. The goal is a life you’re proud of, built on competence, courage, and care.

If this message hits home, take one action today: unsubscribe from the habit that’s stealing your time and commit to one habit that builds you up. Subscribe for more straight talk, share this with someone who needs a push, and leave a review to help others find the show.

Chapters

• 0:00 Where Have Strong Men Gone
• 0:46 Subscribe And Who This Is For
• 1:01 Startling Stats On Men Today
• 2:44 Strength Attraction And Gender Roles
• 4:34 Family Happiness And Values
• 6:55 Video Games And Extended Adolescence
• 7:31 Hard Times Strong Men Cycle
• 8:30 Adversity Purpose And Grit
• 10:17 Minimum Effort Leads To Suffering
• 10:47 Build Strength And Take Action

Transcript

SPEAKER_00: 0:00

Why are all of these men struggling to this extent? Why does it seem like men in 2025 are not really men? You get the feeling, you look around society and go, where are all the strong and honorable good men at? It's very far and few between. To the point where if you hold open the door for a woman out in society or you're polite with manners, or you have a good physique, or you're strong, or you're opinionated, or you're driven, you stick out like a sore thumb. And let me tell you this: if you're a man listening, women love strong men. Before I get into this message, please make sure to subscribe and share. Today I got a powerful message specifically for men. But it's not just for men, because you're if you're a woman and you're married or you have a brother or you have a son, this message is going to be relevant to you as well. I was looking up some statistics related to men in America since you know 2023, 2024 is when these statistics are pulled, so they're relevant to today. But I just want to run through some of them and address some things that stand out to me. I heard this the other day and I had to look it up to verify, and it's true. Roughly 15%, roughly one in five men above the age of 30 still live at home with their parents. That statistic shocked me. These are grown men that are supposed to be supporting and leading a family and they're still living at home with mom and dad. What are they doing? Playing video games, doing drugs, sleeping on the couch? You know, are they just saving money because right now it's hard for people to buy homes and earn? I don't know. But it's a shocking statistic. One in five men still live at home with their mom and dad above the age of 30. Now, the next statistic I want to break down or acknowledge is the fact that 40% of men in the United States are considered obese. Now, that's an alarming statistic in itself. Very rarely will you see a man nowadays in America above the age of 30 who takes off the shirt and has abs that you can actually see. Now, this isn't about vanity. This isn't about aesthetics. It's about the fact that when you get fat and obese, you are damaging your health and your body. Now, the next statistic I want to point to says that 19.6%, roughly 20% of men suffer from some form of mental illness. Not severe mental illness, like schizophrenia or OCD to the part where they can't function. I'm talking about depression, anxiety, mental anguish. Okay. Now, when it comes to addiction, we have 48.7 million men, and not just men, but let's say males, 12 and up, that suffer from addiction. You know, they started around age 12, it can go all the way up into the later years of life, but 48 million males suffering from addiction in the United States of America. Why is this happening? Why are all of these men struggling to this extent? Why does it seem like men in 2025 are not really men? Do you get the feeling? Do you look around society and go, where are all the strong and honorable good men at? Because it's very few, uh it's very far and few between. To the point where if you hold open the door for a woman out in society or you're polite with manners, or you have a good physique, or you're strong, or you're opinionated, or you're driven, you stick out like a sore thumb. And let me tell you this: if you're a man listening, women love strong men. They want to be protected, they want to be taken care of, they want to be loved, obviously, but there's something primal about having a strong man as your husband, as your leader. And you know, nowadays in society, there's a faction of people that have tried to change the way that this world was designed, you know? Men and women are different for a reason. Men are obviously physical, stronger than women. Women have attributes that men don't have. We're different. Let's just acknowledge that. It's not a bad thing, okay? There's this weird thing right now in society where men are getting more feminine and softer by the day, and women are just trying to be more independent and like strong, I guess. And it's just, it doesn't suit either of them. It doesn't suit them. It obviously doesn't work, okay? And so maybe the reason more men are living at home nowadays is because there's not enough good women to marry. I don't know. Maybe there's all these women who don't want to be tied down, they want to feel independent, and they don't want to be married. I don't know. I I see a lot of younger women, and it appears that maybe they don't, they don't want the traditional family. Maybe they feel like they should have a career and that's a better fit for them, or maybe they've just been told that, so they believe it's true. But one thing I've seen is the happiest people in the world that I've seen, and I haven't traveled the whole world, this is just this is just my opinion. The happiest people I see are are a man and woman with children who have great relationships and get to spend a quality time together. Like when you have a family man and you create, you procreate with your your spouse, the love of your life, your partner, and you create these little people and you can just build a life around those relationships and go out and do things together, it's incredible. The nuclear family, strong man, strong woman, a nurturing, loving mom, a strong man to lead their children and protect them. I think that's a beautiful thing, you know. And uh, I don't know, we live in weird times where everything's been contorted, and you know, there's a lot of different views and opinions out there. But one thing I will tell you, I get a lot of messages from women who say, Yeah, I admire those values. Yeah, like I like that dialogue, right? More women are are responding to comment, uh, commenting to content I put out, and they're saying, like, yes, like keep saying that, right? Yes, we need stronger men. Yes, that's what we want. Women want strong men. They want men to lead them, they want you guys to take charge. They don't want you to be passive, they don't want you to be insecure, they don't want you to lack certainty. You gotta be confident, you gotta be strong. You are the leader. So if you're one of these guys living at home with mom and dad, what the hell are you doing? You're just letting your life pass you by? You don't have control over your life? Like, no woman's gonna want to date a guy who's living at home with mom and dad who's 33 years old, and you're still playing freaking Xbox. Like, you're still playing Halo, you're playing Call of Duty, dude. Get rid of the video games. Like, there's another statistic about who actually plays video games the most, right? Let me let me look this up on Chat GBT real quick. What age are most video game players? Check this out. And maybe I'm wrong. Maybe I'm wrong, but I think it's men in their 30s. 36 years old. According to Entertainment Software Association, the average video game player is 36 years old. The same motherfuckers that are living at home with mom and dad, they're probably smoking weed, they're probably broke, they're probably obese, they probably have some anxiety, so they fit all the categories that I shared with you earlier. What the hell is going on with men in America? You know, when you hear this quote, you're gonna understand what's going on. And you've probably heard this before. Hard times make strong men, strong men make easy times. Easy times make soft men. It's a cyclical pattern, okay? And I don't even know if it's cyclical if you think about it, because up until recently, like you had to work. No one was giving you shit, you know? Just until the last hundred years did times get progressively better for people. All throughout history, if you're a man, you had to get up, you had to go and tend to your animals, you know, tend to your crops, go work a job, provide sustenance, earn money, take care of your family. You couldn't be sitting around twiddling your thumbs playing fucking Call of Duty at 36 years old, living in your mom and dad's basement. Like that wasn't a thing. It wasn't a viable option. And I think we're just living in times where we have weak men because, you know, nothing more is required of them. One of the best things that ever happened to me in my life is growing up with two parents who battled addiction, you know, not growing up with a lot of money, going through hardships myself, facing life in prison, spending five and a half years in prison, because my circumstances required more of me. I was either gonna die and live out the rest of my life as an addicted loser until I overdosed, or I was gonna change and I was gonna fight back and I was gonna find something within myself, some strength, some impetus, some conviction to go after meaningful things in my life. When you have people living at home like that and playing video games and just smoking weed, these men don't have a purpose. They don't have goals, they don't have a focus. Now, is that because they're getting snap benefits? And is that because mom and dad are taking care of them and giving them money and providing food for them and shelter and a roof over their head? Probably. If those guys were kicked out on the street or mom and dad passed away and nothing was left to them, they'd probably figure it out real quick. They probably wouldn't have time to play video games because they'd get a freaking job. They'd focus on paying their bills, they'd have to find somewhere to live. Maybe they would develop some character, some grit, some admirable traits. One thing I know is that those admirable traits only oftentimes are developed because you are going through adversity and because more is required of you. And you have to find that inner strength and you have to take action and you have to believe in yourself because there's no other option. The other option is a park bench, failure, death. Sometimes that's the best position to be in in life. For me, one of the best moments in my life came when my back was against the wall and I was forced to take action. I didn't have the luxury of waiting, thinking about it, wasting time, putting it off another year. I didn't have that option. The only option for me was survival. And right now in America, people can just get by with the bare minimum. But you guys, if you give the bare minimum in life, you will suffer. If you think you're getting over on the government because they're sending you checks and SNAP benefits and all this stuff, you're gonna suffer because you're not out there earning it and becoming someone you're proud of. So over time, you're gonna have this anxiety, you're gonna develop these addictions, you're gonna chase pleasure, you're gonna waste time playing video games or smoking weed or doing all this stuff that I alluded to earlier, and you're gonna suffer. You're gonna suffer. So, my message for you men out there today is you gotta build strength. You gotta build mental strength, physical strength, spiritual strength. The way you do that is by doing difficult things every day, setting goals, going after something meaningful in your life, and becoming someone that you're genuinely proud of. There's no man right now who's 36 years old, who's obese, who's battling addiction, who's playing video games all day, that can genuinely look in the mirror and say, I freaking love that guy. I'm so proud of the man that I've become. It's never going to happen. So, you guys, wake up. If this message resonates with you, do something about it. You're powerful, you're capable, but you gotta take action. And if you have a son, a cousin, a significant other, a family member who's a man who is fitting these criteria that I just laid out for you, send them this clip. Tell them I fucking believe in them, and our society needs strong men to step up and become leaders.