Sean Michael Crane's Unstoppable Mindset

Why Your Kids Are Addicted to Screens | Dopamine Nation Review

• Sean Michael Crane • Episode 143

Share episode

What if the meltdowns, mood swings, and restless nights have less to do with “bad behavior” and more to do with dopamine? We dig into the science behind reward and motivation, then trace how screens and ultra-processed foods hijack young brains—and what happens when parents take the controls back.

Drawing on insights from Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembke, we unpack the brain’s push for balance: big highs trigger compensating lows, tolerance builds, and ordinary life starts to feel dull. We connect the dots between the gut-brain axis, serotonin and dopamine regulation, and why the modern environment—phones, tablets, social media, and snack aisles—keeps kids and adults chasing spikes. Then we get practical: how we eliminated tablets at home, cut processed foods, and saw our kids shift toward imagination, cooperative play, and steadier moods.

You’ll hear a clear framework for change: use a 30-day dopamine reset to restore baseline, lean on self-binding so environment beats willpower, and replace quick hits with healthy stressors like exercise, cold exposure, and purposeful routines. We talk about radical honesty to dissolve shame, community to sustain progress, and the deeper payoff that comes from effort over excess. If you’re a parent, coach, or anyone who wants calmer days and clearer minds, this is a roadmap you can start today.

If this resonated, subscribe, share it with a parent who needs hope, and leave a quick review so more listeners can find the show. What’s the one stimulus you’re ready to remove for 30 days?

SPEAKER_00:

I made the decision with my wife about 18 months ago to cut the tablets out of my children's lives permanently. Like they don't get on them at all. And the reason for that is because I understand how underdeveloped their brains are. If you're having these massive dopamine spikes and then these massive declines, that's not natural. And they're more likely to be anxious, they're more likely to feel depressed at times. And young people, like, that's not the way they're intended to be. Children are supposed to be happy, living life excited and joyful. Obviously, they get sad and angry about stuff, but not to this extent. Welcome back to another episode of the Unstoppable Mindset Podcast. I'm your host, Sean Crane. Thank you for tuning in. Hey, if you haven't already, please make sure to subscribe and share my channel with any family, friends, or colleagues you know that want to level up life. I'm sharing content related to motivation, discipline, health and fitness, entrepreneurship. Today I want to do a book review. And if you're a parent, this is going to be an exceptionally great episode for you. This one of the books that really changed my life, I would say. Changed my awareness around uh health and nutrition. Um, you know, it changed the way that I parent my children, uh, changed my understanding of the brain and neurochemistry and what's actually taking place inside your brain when you do things like play video games, get on your phone, eat sugary foods, um, have sex, um, look at porn, drink alcohol, do drugs, have these really high stimulus moments in your life, and how that affects you and your dopamine response, and not just you as an adult, but what happens to children at a young age when they're on tablets, when they're watching TV all the time, when they're eating sugary foods. So if you're a parent or you know somebody that has children and they want to be the best parents, I highly recommend you share this episode. And also, I highly recommend you get this book. Okay, you gotta get this book, you gotta dissect it, and you gotta apply these concepts. It's called Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembeckey. I hope I pronounced her last name correctly, but it's incredible. It's a New York Times bestseller. And so I want to go through some of the key concepts and takeaways that I had when I read that book and how it's changed my parenting style, how it's changed my relationship with my children, as well as my wife's, and sharing with her this information and using it to our advantage to guide our children to hopefully the best life they could possibly live. Now, you guys, if you don't understand the correlation between nutrition and mental health, you really need to educate yourself. Um 60 to 70 percent of the neurotransmitters your brain releases, which are things like serotonin, dopamine. Neurotransmitters affect the way you feel. Okay, if you feel high on life or you feel depressed, it has to do with the neurotransmitters your brain's releasing. Um, people that are depressed have suppressed serotonin levels. When you do something really exciting, dopamine goes through the roof or something pleasurable, right? That's why people become addicted to drugs, food, porn, sex, whatever it is, because those are highly stimulating activities. And now if you have a child who you see is really attached to their tablet, which most young children are nowadays in 2025, or they really want ice cream all the time and crave sugar, it's because when they do those things, they get a massive dopamine spike in their brain. So we're gonna talk about the implications of that and how it's gonna affect your child's development over time. But back to my point about how 60 to 70% of the neurotransmitters released in your brain are derived from messages in the gut. Now your gut communicates directly through neurons, kind of like a telephone, right, to your brain. It's like if you had an office and you had team members that were at another office, but your office was the HQ. Your office was the one handling inbound messages from potential customers, and then you you called your secondary office and told them what to do. Like that's how the gut and the brain work uh through these communication channels. It's pretty incredible. And so if you think about this, if you're putting toxic food, processed foods, chemically enhanced foods, foods that have tons of additives in your body constantly, you know, it's a safe assumption to say that it's probably gonna affect that neurochemistry and that communication channel, right, between the gut and the brain. And so that's what dopamine nation really opened my eyes to. Uh it was the correlation between food and mental health, but not just food. I'm telling you, electronics, phones, tablets, they create a massive dopamine spike in your brain. And what happens is the brain is always trying to seek equilibrium. So let's use these three uh examples. You know, processed food, ultra-processed food, things that are sexual in nature, like porn, having sex, getting prostitutes, things that grown-ups get addicted to, uh, and then devices, okay? Um, devices like cell phones, scrolling on social media, YouTube, TikTok, Reels, uh your laptop, the internet, TV, and and for children, tablets. Okay. So the two ones that stand up to me for young children are obviously food and electronics or screens. Now, when you're on these things or doing these things consistently, you have a massive dopamine spike. Like you're just elevated, elated, you're just like experiencing these highs, right? Well, the brain is always trying to seek equilibrium. So naturally, it's gonna bring you can't be like that all the time, right? Uh, it's just it's not feasible. So the brain is gonna start to release less and less dopamine, and you're actually gonna go into a surplus. Because now the brain's trying to bring you back down to that baseline level that you're supposed to be at. And now let me remind you, dopamine is the neurotransmitter that's released when you're experiencing pleasure, something really that you really enjoy doing. Okay. For me, like as a kid, it was surfing. For some of you, it might have been sports. Oftentimes, though, as we get older, these things that we gravitate towards, uh, they're not they're not as constructive for us. And that's because, you know, they they give us a greater dopamine spike, also known as vices, bad habits, right? Pleasure-seeking behavior. So when that dopamine comes crashing down, you go into a deficit. And that's why people that abuse substances, um porn, phones, uh, food, you'll experience mild forms of depression. And that's also why you then start to crave that substance, that thing, because naturally you want to elevate yourself beyond that low point. And that's how over time addiction takes place. And and not just addiction, but then your tolerance builds up. So you need more and more and more of the cocaine, of the donuts, of the porn or sex or time on your phone, right? And and so, you know, I want to go through some of the key points and takeaways from uh Dopamine Nation. You guys all got to get this book. If you want to understand yourself better and what motivates and drives your behavior, if you're somebody that battles addiction in any form, this book will be very informative. For me, when I read it, I really took the concepts and applied them to my children. Because uh Anna Lembeck, she's a great author and she talks a lot about child development and how when children are so young, their brains are developing, their neurochemistry is still forming, you know, and when you introduce tablets at a young age or ultra-processed foods, it throws off that neurochemistry to the point where they can be emotional, act irrational, have behavioral issues. And if you're a parent, you understand like, have you ever tried to take your kid's tablet away? They freak out, they kick their legs, they scream, they act like the world is coming to an end. Like, they don't do that when when like it's time to um, you know, come inside from playing, typically. Or like, like when they're drawing or reading a book, you're like, all right, it's bedtime. They usually don't act as emotional. For me, that was one of the cues with my children when they were young that got me thinking, man, those tablets, they're not good for them. Like when my children were two and three, Scarlett and Preston. They used to be on tablets. My daughter Scarlett actually learned to count to 10 in four different languages from her tablet and learning the song that helped her to memorize one through ten. I I believe it was Spanish, English, uh, might have been uh German and Chinese. So I thought that was really cool, or Japanese, excuse me. But uh most often, parents and kids, when they're on the tablets, they're checking out, they're playing games, they're just sucked into this uh this world of extreme stimuli. You know, and so I made the decision with my wife about 18 months ago to cut the tablets out of my children's lives uh permanently. Like they don't get on them at all. And the reason for that is because I understand how young and underdeveloped their brains are. And so if you're having these massive dopamine spikes and then these massive declines, like that's not natural. And they're more likely to be anxious, they're more likely uh to feel depressed at times. And young people, like, that's not the way they're intended to be. Children are supposed to be happy, uh living life like, you know, uh like excited and joyful. Um and obviously they get sad and angry about stuff, but not to this extent. Now, the next thing after reading this book, my wife and I did is cut out processed foods and we feed them a diet that's that's rich in protein, animal protein, and fruit. Understanding how processed foods affect, again, their neurochemistry and their development. Um, it's just I feel like I'm doing them a disservice and setting them up to be in a disadvantage going to life by eating ultra-processed foods, not just because they can get fat and develop physical ailments or issues, but their their neurochemistry, their brain development. You see more and more young people nowadays that are suffering from mental health issues. And there's statistics that show 40% of adolescents have reported to have some type of mental health issue at one point in their lives. That's almost half of all young people. And I think there's a huge correlation between phone time, screen time, the food that we're feeding these young people, and their mental health. Um, it makes sense. When you read this book, Dopamine Nation, you understand the ebb and flow of dopamine, serotonin, all these neurotransmitters, and how the brain's always seeking equilibrium, and now why people are going into the deficit where they're experiencing depression and anxiety. It's self-induced, you know. Um, so you guys, as parents, we've got to do our due diligence. I think now we're having more in information surfacing about these issues. You know, statistics like 40% of young people are in um uh suffering for mental health. And we we see um, I wouldn't say an epidemic, but a proliferation of young people, teenagers in therapy, more so than ever throughout history. And you got to start looking at, well, what are these young people doing that are different? Uh, their behavior, what are they they consuming? What are uh what are they subject to? What is what is different in their behavior than past generations that are leading to them to be in therapy? That are leading to higher cases of ADHD, anxiety, depression, uh, bipolar, suicidal tendencies, and ideation. Like this doesn't just happen. There's a cause and effect here. So for me, my children, my youngest, the the two middle ones that are right now this is most relevant to are five and six. I've seen a huge change in their behavior since cutting out tablets and processed food. They they use their imagination more. Uh, yeah, they they play and fight together more, a lot more. Sometimes going out to dinner in restaurants isn't that pleasant, but you know what? That's a sacrifice I'm willing to make. Uh, they they draw a lot, they read a lot, uh, they use their imaginations, and they're just doing things that kids should be doing. And they're not glued to a screen like little zombies. Um, but so, real quick, I want to run through this this little bit of notes that I put down about dopamination and the reason it'd be good for you to read it and apply these concepts to your life. Uh, number one, the brain wants balance, so it's always seeking equilibrium. The more an event or something that you do creates a high stimulus, the more likely you are to drop into a deficit and experience mild forms of depression, which is not healthy. Okay, we live in a dopamine overload world, right? So foods, uh phones, porn, shopping, social media. Modern life provides nonstop dopamine hits. Every time you pick up your phone and watch a reel, every time you check your messages, you're doing that because it creates a dopamine response. Sometimes you don't even know why you're doing it. It becomes a habitual thing, then you're addicted and you're a slave to your phone. These are all things for us as adults to be mindful to as well. Uh repeated hits of whatever that behavior is creates tolerance, and over time you need more and more and more, or you're not satisfied. That's how addictions form. Okay. Uh addiction is a spectrum, not a category. You don't need hard drugs to be an addict. Compulsive behaviors such as scrolling on your phone, gaming, binge eating, porn, weed, whatever it is, they follow the same brain pattern. This is what I always tell people. That the heroin addict on the street and the fat guy that can't stop eating donuts, they have the they're afflicted by the same issue, right? It's a different substance they abuse, but it's the same wiring in your brain. It's it's the same exact issue. So those of you out there that say, oh, well, like, you know, I'm not doing drugs, but you're addicted to your phone, or you can't eat clean even though you want to lose the weight, like you have to recognize that's a problem. And it's because your brain chemistry is screwed up because of the behavior you've demonstrated over time, right? Uh abstinence works better than moderation. Pay attention, people, right? A 30-day dopamine fast or reset helps restore the brain's baseline. You can't moderate while your reward system is hijacked. So if one if you're like, oh, I'm on my phone all day long, I'm just gonna check it at these times, or I'm eating sugar all day long, I'm gaining weight, I feel like crap. I'm just gonna limit it to like, you know, one time per day, whatever it is. What Anna Lembeck is saying here is you need to reset your dopamine response in your brain. You need to go cold turkey from whatever you're abusing for at least 30 days to help regulate that dopamine response and get you back to a healthy uh um state, right? So, whatever that is for you, right? We got January 1st coming up. A lot of people make a decision to change certain parts of their life January 1st. 90% of them fall off after 30 days. I would urge you to start now, as soon as you hear this episode, write down the change you want to make and implement it now. Um, something that I'm doing is giving up cigars or any form of nicotine for the whole year of 2026. I'm doing that just because I like to do things that are challenging and difficult or things that don't serve me, I like to cut them out of my life. 13 years ago, I committed to a life of sobriety. Three years ago, I committed to a life without dessert or a processed sugar. I haven't touched either since. They don't serve me. The next on that list is nicotine. I like to smoke cigars when I'm with the guys, when I'm playing chess, when I'm talking life, politics, business, it's a social thing, but I don't need it, so I'm cutting it out. So I want to know what is that thing in your life you're gonna cut out. Um, let's keep this going. So self-binding is crucial. Here's another note from Dopamine Nation. You must set external constraints. Remove the triggers, limit access, get the food out of the pantry, okay? Remove triggers, get the alcohol out of the fridge. Uh if it's porn, you've got to figure out a way to block those sites, you know, block them on your phone, on your laptop. Change your environment, schedule usage, right? Like relying on willpower alone guarantees failure. You have to put boundaries in place. After that reset, that 30-day reset, you have to have boundaries, or you're gonna jump right back into your old behavior. Leading to discomfort, cold exposure, exercise, boredom, emotional discomfort, embracing painful but healthy stimuli strengthens resilience and resets that dopamine response. This is why I'm such a proponent of exercise, cold plunge sauna. I used to be a drug addict, I used to be wild, I used to go party, chase women, whatever it was, right? Do tons of drugs. Like for me to change my neurochemistry, I was able to do it. It's possible. I was confined when I did it. So going back to Anna Lembeki's point, there was a restriction there. I couldn't go down to the liquor store anytime I wanted and get alcohol. I couldn't get drugs whenever I wanted. It was somewhat available, but not the same. So I had that restriction, right? But then I found other ways to create hives in my life. Going after my goals, going after my dreams, working out, building my physique, you know, getting in the cold plunge, getting in the sauna, testing yourself. You know, what she said here is really important. You know, uh embracing painful but healthy stimuli strengthens resilience and resets that seesaw, that dopamine response. I love that. Radical honesty is medicine. Admitting the truth about your addictive behaviors reduces shame. Dude, if you're in a state of shame and you're feeling guilty and you're not going to talk about it, you're not gonna change. You have to have courage and get to that point where you're like, you know what, I'm struggling with porn, I'm struggling with cocaine, I'm struggling with just being on my phone too much. I'm struggling with fill in the blank and recognize that's the beginning of your change. We all struggle with stuff at times. That's part of human nature. Don't feel ashamed, don't feel bad about yourself. Just be that person that has the courage to change. Community is the antidote. Isolation worsens your conditions. Get into environments where you're around other people in recovery, other people that have made change, mentors, AA, whatever it is. And it's gonna help you to be in an environment around people that you can relate and resonate to and give you uh hopefully some hope, but also it's gonna show you that other people have gone through what you're gone through and they've changed, and you can too. So that's hope, right? But they're also gonna give you some tactical strategies, some things that work for them. Just being in that environment is going to help you. Uh, and last but not least, on this, you know, bullet point list that I want to share with you. True pleasure comes from effort, not excess. Okay, think about that. True pleasure comes from not what you're doing, but how you're doing it. You don't need an excessive amount of money, food, you know, like hedonism is like you always want pleasure. I want more, more, and more. Gluttony, right? Greed. Think about that. It's not gonna lead to fulfillment, but what you're doing and giving maximum effort, whether it's cleaning the floor, you know, organizing your refrigerator, uh, talking to your children, going to work, working out, you know, listening to your wife and having a good conversation, playing a game of chess, the food you eat, every little thing that you do, right? If you give maximum effort, what you're doing is you're building intrinsic growth and development. Okay. And that's a healthy way that you can also create a dopamine response, but it's not something that's to the moon, and then you come down, you go into this deficit, something that you can maintain consistently. The best, most sustainable dopamine comes from purpose, discipline, hard work, service, and relationships, not from quick hits and pleasure-seeking behavior. So, you guys, I hope this episode was valuable for you. And if you're intrigued by anything I said, you gotta order this book right now. Dopamine Nation by Anna Lembecki. Probably mispronounced her name. Incredible author, great read. Apply it in your life, and I promise you it's gonna change your life for the better.

Head Shot

Sean Michael Crane

Host