Join us as we journey through the remarkable life of Miranda Tate, a beacon of resilience and faith from Bowie, Texas. From her college struggles as an ADD student to her metamorphosis into an inspiring teacher and coach, Miranda's story is a testament to personal growth. Listen in as she recounts overcoming life's obstacles and finding her unique style of learning, all while nurturing deep roots in her hometown.
Miranda takes us behind the scenes of her vibrant journey, revealing how she built her business, J&M Designs, from scratch. Be inspired by how she balanced motherhood, entrepreneurship, and her faith, all while running a thriving faith-based apparel business. Tune in for her insights on the challenges of launching a business, the art of outsourcing, and the nuances of marketing in today's digital landscape.
In our final segment, we delve into the heart of relationships and the pivotal role of communication in fostering them. Miranda and her husband share their wisdom on love languages, managing expectations, and the nuances of transparency with their children. Drawing from their experiences, they offer invaluable advice on nurturing relationships and maintaining balance in the whirlwind of life. They also impart wisdom on the delicate balance of entrepreneurship, motherhood, and hosting a podcast. This episode is a treasure trove of love, life, business, and faith, so don't miss out!
Music by: Kim Cantwell
Bowie Mural: Located at Creative Cakes
Connect w/Aaron: www.aarondegler.com
Join us as we journey through the remarkable life of Miranda Tate, a beacon of resilience and faith from Bowie, Texas. From her college struggles as an ADD student to her metamorphosis into an inspiring teacher and coach, Miranda's story is a testament to personal growth. Listen in as she recounts overcoming life's obstacles and finding her unique style of learning, all while nurturing deep roots in her hometown.
Miranda takes us behind the scenes of her vibrant journey, revealing how she built her business, J&M Designs, from scratch. Be inspired by how she balanced motherhood, entrepreneurship, and her faith, all while running a thriving faith-based apparel business. Tune in for her insights on the challenges of launching a business, the art of outsourcing, and the nuances of marketing in today's digital landscape.
In our final segment, we delve into the heart of relationships and the pivotal role of communication in fostering them. Miranda and her husband share their wisdom on love languages, managing expectations, and the nuances of transparency with their children. Drawing from their experiences, they offer invaluable advice on nurturing relationships and maintaining balance in the whirlwind of life. They also impart wisdom on the delicate balance of entrepreneurship, motherhood, and hosting a podcast. This episode is a treasure trove of love, life, business, and faith, so don't miss out!
Music by: Kim Cantwell
Bowie Mural: Located at Creative Cakes
Connect w/Aaron: www.aarondegler.com
What happened to my hometown. It seemed so different. When I look around, it's funny how things have changed since I was young. What I wouldn't give you? Go way back and take a long look into my past. Remember this town the way that it used to be. Welcome to my hometown, our little town on the map and home to the world's largest, jim Buena. To show you around our beautiful town is our tour guide, aaron Degler. Aaron has a love for road trips, taking the opportunity to stop along the way in small towns across the US, just like our very own, buoy, texas. Spend a little time with Aaron each week as he takes you around Buoy, sharing the value of the small businesses, the organizations, the history and, of course, the people that make up my hometown. After this podcast is over, make sure you give it a like, a share, and please subscribe and review this podcast. I would now like to introduce to you your tour guide for today in my hometown, aaron Degler.
Speaker 2:Welcome back to my hometown. Thanks for taking a little time to join me today. Please welcome my guest today. She is a lifelong resident of Buoy, a wife, a mom of five, a former teacher and coach. She hosts her own podcast called Abiding from Home and is owner of J&M Designs. Please welcome my guest, Ms Miranda Tate.
Speaker 3:Thank you, miranda, for joining me today. Thank you for having me, you're welcome.
Speaker 2:So we're going to talk about. You know lifelong resident, so you know all the good stuff about Buoy, all the ins and outs, so I graduated from Buoy. I went to school here all your life. When you graduated, what was the plan? Did you know what you were going to do when you in high school? What you were going to do?
Speaker 3:I always liked working with kids and I got married young to my first husband at 18, right after I graduated, and we got into coaching, select ball and stuff like that and at first I thought I was going to teach science and so I went to college, at TWU, for science and then I soon found out I did not want to teach high school science, so I went the elementary, junior high route, graduated from TWU and got my first job at Goldberg teaching fourth and fifth grade and that was a lot of work.
Speaker 2:So how long were you at Goldberg?
Speaker 3:One year and then I missed we weren't doing select ball then and I missed coaching. We had our oldest then was one.
Speaker 2:So all the way through college you were coaching select ball. Yes. And both of you are doing it. Yes me, and.
Speaker 3:Chris, were both my husband at the time. We're doing it. Yes, and we had stopped doing that, and there was a job opening at Nacona under Brad Keck, who used to be the AD here. So, I reached out and applied and went to Nacona that following year.
Speaker 2:And then taught.
Speaker 3:I taught junior high, sixth grade, ended up teaching some eighth grade too while I was there and got the head softball job while I was there. I think I was there five or six years. I'm horrible at numbers, but I think five or six years total that we were over there.
Speaker 2:It was over there at Nacona, then you coached there the whole time. Yes, I was coaching there the whole time. And so then, during this time, corbin, when was he born? Because he's your oldest.
Speaker 3:Yes, well, he is oldest for my marriage and then we have brass too, so they're 16 and 15 now, so 08 was when he was born.
Speaker 2:And then how's it come about that? Were you always wanting to come back to Bowie? Was there just not a job opening?
Speaker 3:I think for me my passion was I struggled when I went to college. I can remember the English teacher just butchering my paper and telling me I didn't learn enough in school.
Speaker 2:And Black didn't learn enough in high school.
Speaker 3:Yes, yes, and I think that fueled me to make sure that no other students felt the way I felt. So I wanted to come back here and pour into our hometown and the kids which we never planned on moving. Corbin still went to school here. He didn't follow me to Nakona and I wanted him to and all the students just to have the preparation for college and have rigorous classes and not and some of that probably was my own thought because my own learning style of you know him saying that, that professor saying that, but it definitely motivated my reasoning of wanting to come back.
Speaker 2:And so was college hard. Did you feel that it was challenging? Did you feel prepared?
Speaker 3:I did not feel prepared. But you know later I found out I'm ADD and I very much procrastinate on everything, which does not make me a good business person sometimes.
Speaker 2:I'm the same way.
Speaker 3:I procrastinate on everything, but that is when I get my best work done.
Speaker 2:Yes.
Speaker 3:And so it was a lot of cramming. In high school I never had to study and I just sat there and made bees and you know it was fine with me. I never thought the need to be that A-plus student and challenge myself in that way. I guess I didn't love it enough, I'm not sure. So college was definitely an adjustment, and the more years you're in you just kind of figure out this isn't working, that's working, and I could actually started seeing success and realized, hey, I can do this if I take the time to not wait the night before to do a four-page paper.
Speaker 2:So you just had to find your own style and what worked best. Yes. And so was that challenging to do select ball, to coach that while you're going to college, and were you driving back and forth?
Speaker 3:I was. No, I've never left here.
Speaker 2:So you never. I've never moved, I've always been living, never moved out of B.
Speaker 3:Yes, I've always been here, so I just drove back and forth and it was tiring, but I've my granny always says Miranda, I wish you could slow down and we may get to this later. But I feel like, even though I'm probably busier now than ever, I actually feel slower in a way, but I've never I'm just busy minded. So busy is good to me, and if I'm not busy then I'm looking for something else to do.
Speaker 2:So you're just going to stay constant busy, because you're always looking for something busy. Yes, so after. So then, when you came to Bowie to coach, did you? Did they hire you to coach and teach when you?
Speaker 3:Yes, and I was reminiscing on this yesterday with my husband. I can remember that's probably the start of me really learning how to surrender to God, because I applied for Bowie and they weren't going to hire me and the whole coaching staff that I was used to at Nacona was leaving. I mean it was a full wipeout on the female side and I finally just prayed and was like, okay, god, if this is where you want me, I'm going to do the best I can. I'm going to learn to glorify you. And even not getting the answer I want and I think it was the next day I'm standing out in the driveway and the principal here at the time calls and offers me the job and I'm thinking what I mean? I didn't think I was getting it. So I think God played a battle role.
Speaker 3:I mean I think he plays a battle role in it all but, especially that was kind of the start of if I surrender, not necessarily that I'll get the answers I want, but he's not going to move mountains for me if I'm not willing to lay it down for him.
Speaker 2:And so how long ago was that that? Came to.
Speaker 3:I think it was 2016. I think so, or 2015,. One or the other.
Speaker 2:So then, and how long were you and Chris married?
Speaker 3:We were married seven years I think. I don't even really remember. I know that it's four. I'm really bad at numbers there, but I think Corbin was about four when we divorced.
Speaker 2:And so then did you, when you separated, divorced, were you still doing select ball? Do you still have that too, or did you just kind of stop?
Speaker 3:I stopped with select ball before. I guess when I was at Goldberg I wasn't doing select ball anyway, and that's when I realized kind of how much I missed coaching and got back in it after that.
Speaker 2:So I was just going to school at that time and teaching and so coming to Bowie and that being an opportunity did you feel like when you started, because how long did you coach and teach at Bowie?
Speaker 3:Five years, four or five years.
Speaker 2:And when you came, you felt like that was.
Speaker 3:I loved it I didn't have. I was under Brent Ferris at the time for softball and Jeannie Stark for volleyball and it was so neat to see like Jeannie on that aspect side of things because I played under her and then to get to know her as a person instead of just my coach. It was a great experience. So I loved working under them obviously less pressure. I was coaching three sports. At Bowie I was only at Nacona and I was only doing two at Bowie.
Speaker 3:So that was less time away from Corbin and less time in other words.
Speaker 2:And then get married, Josh.
Speaker 3:Married Josh the next year in 17. I think it was the next year.
Speaker 2:Almost six years. Seven years, yes, six years, yes, and have way more kids now. Yes, we do, yes we do I.
Speaker 3:You know, when you start praying for something. We wanted kids and before I didn't think we would ever maybe have anymore. We're naturally kind of selfish people.
Speaker 2:I think we all have that. Like anymore besides Corbin and Bryce Corbin, and.
Speaker 3:Bryce and we talked about it and I can remember this is how committed coaches and teachers are at times. I remember saying, well, if I don't get pregnant during this time frame? And he looked at me and said, well, you're not planning a baby around your coaching and teaching schedule? And that was the most refreshing thing ever, and so I've been praying about it and I can remember walking into the office and it was like the end of August, so we had just gotten through two a days a couple of weeks of school and I told the two ladies I was coaching with I said I'm not coming back next year and of course they laughed at me and said, oh yeah, we'll see.
Speaker 3:And I was like, no, I think I'm done. I think that the season of my life needs to be closed. And it wasn't. A month later I found out I was pregnant.
Speaker 2:So what was the turning point? That said you know, I think I'm done.
Speaker 3:I don't just a feeling. You know it wasn't like I loved coaching. I still do some private lessons sometimes and I miss that part of it. But the time away, that you're away from your kids and your family, it's just. It takes a toll on you mentally and I mean it just is exhausting, and at least it was for me. Some people are born and bred to do it for years and years and years.
Speaker 3:But it just I don't know. I just had this complete piece about it's time to try something different and I felt like, with Josh, I had the partner at home that would back me up on that. You know, before it was always. Well, you're going to lose income. You know, and that's scary. So, I think with him saying it's going to be okay If you don't coach, we're going to make it, we'll figure it out.
Speaker 2:So we're going to go to a different job. Are you going to do something different?
Speaker 3:or would you just? I was just going to teach.
Speaker 2:So you're still going to teach, just not coach, correct, gotcha?
Speaker 3:Yes, and that is another thing too. Like you have to find they, my job was tied to coaching, so then I had to apply for jobs within Buoy that weren't tied to coaching and try to get out of that.
Speaker 2:So was that challenging. Yes, yes. Did you have a job the next when the I did.
Speaker 3:But it was, I think maybe didn't come about until May the next year. I mean, we weren't real sure if it was going to happen or not. Which I had made the, we had made the decision. I was going to resign if they, if they could not get me out of coaching we were going to just have to go try to teach somewhere else.
Speaker 2:And so then, then, how long did you just teach?
Speaker 3:Just one year. And then Just one year we had the twins, that May, and Was that a deciding factor? No, well, we we at first thought we were going to. I was just going to keep teaching and God just kind of kept laying it on my heart that that's not where I needed to be, and so I kept praying about it.
Speaker 3:And then I started praying that my husband would see it too, cause you know it's, that's a big pay cut to stay at home with your kids, but when you're paying for two and childcare and half of your paycheck- is going to that anyways it just seemed like the right move. Um, and you know, for me it was I. I don't know, what word I want to use, but missed hot a lot with Corbin when he was little, because you know you, just there's late nights, you don't get to spend time with them and we were going through a divorce at the time, so I was coaching and he was in a split home.
Speaker 3:And so we just um, I just didn't want to repeat that.
Speaker 2:And so what does it look like when you know because that is true, that sometimes we have to pray that the other person in the relationship sees it? Yeah. How does? How does that look? Does that look where he just kind of comes, that Josh just comes, it comes around and goes, okay, or is it just through continuous conversations that both of you have?
Speaker 3:I think really, um, he laughed. We laugh now because I pray that God will put it on a podcast for him to hear and he's going to laugh, listen back to this.
Speaker 3:But he, I say stuff and then two days later, a week later, he comes back and he says you know, I heard on whatever podcast he was listening to Um and I think really I I just started praying God would show us what he wanted, you know, and, and even with um having another baby, I prayed that if I wanted, I had a desire for another baby and I prayed okay, if this isn't what you want me to do, please, just, you know, take it from me, take this one from me, um, and he just started putting people in our lives.
Speaker 3:That confirmed what he was telling us. Um, we talked about homeschooling the kids, um, and you know, one of the things that we've had before is sometimes there's socially awkward homeschoolers is what Josh would say, and I was like, yes, but I think it just depends on the family.
Speaker 3:You know your socialization, how the parents interact, how much socialization you get them outside of the home. And one day he came home from a four H event with Bryce, our oldest, and he said I had some lunch, a lunch with a family, and they homeschool their kid, and so we just kind of talked about that. And so I just think God just put people in our lives to confirm what he was wanting us to do, on top of you know, conversations we would have to and debating the positives and the negatives, Cause I think with anything you're trading one thing for another. Yeah, it's always a trade, trade off.
Speaker 2:So do you do you hope that you can get a little bit of a little bit of a little bit of a chance to do that?
Speaker 3:So do you do homeschool? We are doing preschool right now. Just, you know, it doesn't take very long and we don't do it every day and it's kind of been a trial to see if it's something we're going to do in the future. But we're still. We're still leaning towards that. I don't know if that's the right answer. I don't know if that is the long-term answer, but for right now, that's where our hearts are, and so not too old, as they still go public school.
Speaker 2:And how are the youngest ones?
Speaker 3:The twins are four, and then we have little miss. She is 17 months now.
Speaker 2:So after leaving teaching, have you missed it? The teaching aspect. Is it nice to do a little bit of homeschooling and get that feeling, or is it?
Speaker 3:If I'm very honest, I don't miss it, and I hate to say that because I thought that I might. But again, I think God changes. That may change, because I think right now this is where I'm supposed to be and that's why I don't long to be there.
Speaker 2:And you also are involved in the youth at SouthSat. So how long have you been involved with the youth?
Speaker 3:You know I volunteered for a long time but when we decided to quit me quit teaching, it wasn't two weeks. The church called me and asked me if I wanted to take on that position. Because it was just a group of people volunteering at that point, and so they asked me if I wanted to take that on, and so that's been three years that. I've been the youth minister coordinator.
Speaker 2:And do you feel that that has filled maybe a teaching aspect that's not teaching numbers or English, that's teaching something.
Speaker 3:Yes, and you know my mom. She would say to me I just don't think, I think you're meant to be a teacher, you're good at it, and I don't disagree with her. You know, like I don't want to brag on myself, but I like teaching and I can take a step back and see where someone's struggling. How can I deliver this differently for them to understand it? And plus, I think teaching has a lot to do with relationships. So and I really tried to work on that, being intentional with students, and so for me, you know, it just looks. Teaching looks differently. Now it looks, you know, even with my business. I try to encourage and teach and show people what I found in the Bible that maybe I haven't seen before, that they might not have seen either.
Speaker 2:So and I think you're right is teaching. Just take it's different forms and if you have that teaching skill and ability cause some people do not you can apply that to anywhere, whether it's ministering to youth, ministering to people, your business, school, speaking of your business, so when did so? J&m Designs, josh and Miranda. Yes.
Speaker 2:So when that started about four years ago, yes, so what was the calling? You know, I always think there's a thing like let's try this, there's gotta be something different. What was the thought when, hey, we're going to start a t-shirt business.
Speaker 3:Well, I was growing in my faith and Christian apparel was expensive. It's really the main reason I wanted to start it. And.
Speaker 3:I like to encourage others. I I'm not saying I'm the best designer or the best well-spoken or anything of that sort, but I just like to create and I wanted to offer reasonable price clothing that would encourage other people and really just kind of build a community. And so I started it, I think the year the twins were born and I was still teaching at that time and I just came home and said, hey, I want to start a t-shirt business.
Speaker 2:So how does that? So you know what? That really doesn't make any sense because you have new borns, you're teaching and then you want to start a new business.
Speaker 3:Yeah, it sounds crazy, right yeah.
Speaker 2:So? So what did Josh say when you go? I think I want to do something else on top of everything else I'm doing.
Speaker 3:He said let's do it, he's just like me. Let's just add more chaos into the mix. And you know, at that time we were thinking I don't know what we were thinking we're going to do a couple of pop ups.
Speaker 2:You know, it wasn't we didn't know what we were doing, but you're still having to go find. Are you making the t-shirts or are you outsourcing? We're outsourcing.
Speaker 3:And we had yes, we had all that that goes into it finding people to make it. Mm-hmm.
Speaker 2:Yeah, do the designs, do the marketing, all of it All of it, and so did that take that process. Take a while before you, finally, before you got.
Speaker 3:I think we started out with four solid designs.
Speaker 3:We reached out to a company in Fort Worth that kind of just I don't know want to say, took us under their wing because we don't do business with them anymore. But they were gracious in just telling us when clothing brands start, they usually start with this many. You don't want to go over that, you don't want to overextend yourself. You know, kind of gave us some guidelines to start with and even really we probably should have started smaller than we did but so just four designs and then had four designs that we did chicken and bread days here in Buoy and that was our first event and I just started going.
Speaker 2:And so, and what's the idea behind um?
Speaker 3:it's an encouragement, faith-based business and I will say like we and we may get to this I don't want to jump too far ahead, but we took, let's say I took the next year off and we were doing pop-ups and we were traveling to some bigger pop-ups like Oklahoma city and places like that, and we obviously you see more success when you go to a bigger vendor show and you have more foot traffic.
Speaker 3:And then we talked to um Kyle Tate, who had the scoop shack at the time, and he mentioned that he may be closing and, you know, running it out, and I said, if you do, I'm interested, I'm interested. And I pitched that in a Josh hey, let's open a store you know downtown. And this was, I think, the year after I had. I had been not teaching for a year.
Speaker 2:And so you had been doing it for about a year.
Speaker 3:We had been doing years. The store downtown wasn't even open that long because we opened in June or July was our grand opening day and we closed the following year. So let's see, oh my goodness, what year was Oakley even more? In 2022?. So we were open 2021 to 2022. So it wasn't long at all. But I say that because the business took a turn when we opened downtown, as in, I feel like I listened to a lot of outside opinion on what I should put in the store, what was going to get people into the store and didn't promote the Christian based line as much as I knew in my heart I should be.
Speaker 2:So did you. So then you kind of transitioned the business a little different direction when you went to breaking more into the yes, it was more of a boutique.
Speaker 3:I had Christian apparel and things throughout. It was in there, but I also had, just, you know, boutique shirts and children's clothing and that kind of thing too. So, and when I really think we our last baby was very much a surprise to us not planned, even though I had a desire for another baby.
Speaker 3:We were not trying to have another baby, we were taking all the necessary precautions and I can remember just thinking what in the world are we going to do? Because I was taking the twins to the store every day with me, which was a butt kicking in.
Speaker 2:And so now, instead of I mean, you might still been doing pop-ups, but now, instead of just going to a event for a couple of days, now you're having to go to a business every day with the twins and we have ours, and which is more challenging.
Speaker 3:It was very challenging, very, very challenging, and so it's. I mean, I think we found out we were pregnant October and I already knew by December that there was no way the store was going to stay open. And I was very anxious about all of that because I didn't want to look like a failure. I felt like a failure to myself. I was afraid what other people would think. I didn't want my husband to think I was a failure, you know just all those thoughts that raced through your head.
Speaker 2:So during the time that you were open, did you kind of feel that it had kind of moved away from your original mission?
Speaker 3:Yes, because there was no time there was no time to make sure I was reading my Bible. There was no time to pray fervently if I'm doing what God's calling me to do. I mean, it was just go, go, go, from the time I got up to the time the kids went to bed to the time I finally went to bed and repeat, and just chasing your tail 24-7.
Speaker 2:24-7 just trying to survive every day.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:And so you're selling faith-based merchandise when really what you're living is not.
Speaker 3:It was very empty.
Speaker 2:And so does that feel. I'd say fraud, because that's not the right word. But like I'm doing this, but I'm not really putting the time in, like what I'm sharing in my store, Right. And did you feel too, that it was moving away from the other merchandise? We're just not happy with the way the other merchandise was moving, like you wanted to, more focused on.
Speaker 3:Well, I think it. People buy what you're passionate about, and I, when you're not passionate about something, I don't think you can sell it and I don't know that sound and what that sound bad because I don't want to be selzy, but at the end of the day it was hard for me to put on clothes and model them when I just didn't feel like that's something I wanted to promote in the store.
Speaker 2:And so you have. You have other things now beyond T shirts and apparel for your business, or is it just?
Speaker 3:we. You know, I kind of, with me being ADD, I like to do a lot of things, and I like to do a lot of things now and so in the moment, if I like it, I'm going to do it, and that's not strategically what they tell you to do. And so, in thinking of I don't know, last year I started looking at, you know, my vision board, if you want to call it that, and just kind of mapping out what God wants us to do in this business, and so I just pretty much create anything and everything that points people to Jesus and that doesn't necessarily have to be my stuff.
Speaker 3:We do create our own things. I say we, I mean I create our own things and. But it is a I will like if I find something from another Christian butique or owner or another brand, I'll pull it into my store too. So it's not necessarily all mine, but we do try to cultivate things that are intentionally made and with a purpose.
Speaker 2:And closing down the store. And was that? Did that take a lot of talk and a lot of conversations between you and Josh? Say to not worry about what people think, what they're going to say feel like a failure. Yes, how to get beyond that?
Speaker 3:And really, you know, I prayed a lot about it, but Josh confirmed you know, when I talked to him about it and shared my fears, he's like that is the most ridiculous thing ever, like I don't think you're a failure. I think, wow, you tried this and you didn't fail. Life just changed. And it is true, you know.
Speaker 3:I mean there might be a time, 10 years, 12 years down the road that we have another opportunity. But again it kind of goes back to I'm not sure what I'm going to say and it kind of goes back to I'm not sure that's where we were meant to be. And I love the experience and I'm thankful for the experience. But we really look at our last baby as God telling us. I told you you need to slow down and you didn't listen, so now you have to.
Speaker 2:That's what I'm saying. This is yes, and I agree with that. You know, I think you know in 2004 had a gym at only last a year. But if it wasn't for that, you know, eight years, seven years later, I would have never been able to open synergy fitness. That had to happen for me to understand and I felt like man, I'm a failure. You know all these things that I shouldn't have done, but that had to happen in order for success later to happen.
Speaker 3:Yes, and they say all the time like how many businesses fell with, you know, within the first four years? And so it's not nothing new we just may get out to be like this big, huge roadblock that we can never overcome, which is just false.
Speaker 2:And because I think we do live in a small town and we think people are going to think well, they tried that and they failed. But I always encourage people keep trying because it could be that next idea that you have that works. Yes. You know, and you, as long as you learn from the previous ones what to do different, how to change it. So the pop-ups now you do that pretty regular.
Speaker 3:Yes, we well. The first, when Oakley first came around, we didn't do as much, you know, I kind of stepped back and then I started trying to do a little bit more. And our oldest, you know, corbin, he helps a lot when we do. Second Monday and things like that.
Speaker 3:So we just decided we'll just do local events, and I really just kind of just fully started praying over everything which sounds crazy. I should have been doing that all along, but we don't do that sometimes, and so I just decided I'm just going to do it the way God wants me to and not the way the world says I should do it, which I have to constantly reinforce that and tell myself that, especially when it comes to like social media, because you know you've got to post regularly and you're supposed to post two to three times a week and so many rules and to get all this engagement, and I just can't keep up with it.
Speaker 3:So I don't do that anymore.
Speaker 2:So you just do it at what works for you.
Speaker 3:I do it when I have content to make, when I feel like there's something worth sharing. Or, you know, we have a new design or something of the sort and I try to be intentional with making more things and I try to schedule them out. So you know, there's all those scheduling apps that you can do and I do all of that.
Speaker 3:But I just don't beat myself up when I haven't posted in two or three days which before I would you know, wake up as early as I possibly could to make sure I had you know a post made for the day or the next week, and now I just do it when God gives me something to say.
Speaker 2:It's okay.
Speaker 3:It is because it's not. This really isn't about me, Right? And for a while I tried to make it about me. And now it just is to glorify God and whatever he does with it. He does, and obviously I have to do the work. You know I can't just sit back and not do anything expect things to happen, but I think he's showed me.
Speaker 3:You know you need to be present with your kids. That's top priority, and so when my kids need me, I stop what I'm doing and I give them my attention, and then I go back to whatever it is I need to do.
Speaker 2:And do you find that, since you've been more involved in the youth and in charge of the youth and being youth minister and coordinator, that that has challenged you to be to work on your relationship or in your walk? Yes, more so.
Speaker 3:Oh yeah, I mean I definitely wouldn't be where I am if it wasn't for that opportunity, because you and I shared that with somebody recently. I said you know it sounds bad, but that's my job and you work hard at your job and so I'm prepping each week for a lesson and that just obviously helps and not everybody has the opportunity, so I don't want that to come across. As you know, it's a lot. I feel like it's very much a privilege and a luxury for me to have that opportunity to sit down, and I have to do this.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:And so, going back to your business, do you sell online too, or is it just pop-ups?
Speaker 3:We sell online and we started popping up every Saturday at our house, and then we do second Monday.
Speaker 2:It's kind of our schedule now Do you ever say they can come shop at your house, they can come shop at my house.
Speaker 3:Yeah, In the morning from nine to noon, and it's you know it's not a convenient located place, but I've found that people who want to shop with you, they'll intentionally go and do that If they're. If they're you know they want to shop with you, they'll show up.
Speaker 2:And I think it's important that we point out that, as business owners, oftentimes we structure our business according to the customer, which is what everything tells you. You know it's what your customer wants what's convenient, but we can also structure our business. Many see small business to our life. Yes.
Speaker 2:And I think, however, it's structured like you said, the lawn is consistent. You do it every week, same time, second Monday. There's consistency in that and when we can, then it allows you to still have family time, still do the things that you want to do, and it we can do that according to our life. Yes. And we do get wrapped up, go into the store nine to five every day having to take the twins you get, and then now that becomes a prison. Yes.
Speaker 2:Well, it's supposed to be a great opportunity. It's now like I gotta go do this Yep, and I can't take a day off because I can't afford to hire anybody. So if somebody's sick, we close for the day. So it's great that you found a way to structure it to your life, which what's important to you. Yes. And I think it's important when we open a business. What's important to me and not forget that what's important to you is the face faith based merchandise. Yes.
Speaker 2:In your store. You start to get away from that. It's so easy to do and it's not blame, it's just easy because, oh, here's something. And then we start doing all this stuff and go, especially when we like to be busy. We find ourselves way off track, like how did I get here?
Speaker 3:Well, and you want naturally we all want to be successful. And then we start looking to other people who are successful and trying to mimic them. And you know, the people we may be mimicking don't have kids and, you know, aren't married yet or they've, they're 10 years down in their business and they are able to hire people to come in and help them pick up where they can't get everything done.
Speaker 3:And so I think definitely Jennifer Kleinhans is the one who told me one day. She said you know, just make it what you need it to be. And I thought why didn't I think of that?
Speaker 3:You know, because she closes, you know early enough that she can go pick her kids up from school and it was the simplest of statement with the most powerful impact, because I think sometimes we just don't realize. And, plus, I admire her because she's successful and I look up to her and heard the business that she's grown and where she's come from and now having her store downtown. You know, like thinking I admired her saying that and thinking, yes, that's so simple, I just need to do that.
Speaker 2:And for her it's just as simple. As I'm gone this afternoon and the customers and the customers begin to know that you know, and so they just and that is so important, you know, for the first seven or eight years, probably seven years of synergy, I'll say all the time it took a lot, as you said, not me, I'll spend that time with Corbin from coaching, the synergy fitness took a lot from me from being with my kids and because I didn't realize I could do it differently. We do, we watch all these things and this is the way it says we have to do it yes.
Speaker 2:So we do it and then we go. I should have done differently. Yeah. There's no right way to. There's some right principles and right systems, but how you do those is up in up to the person. So all this going on, all the kiddos being a youth minister having a business, you decide to start a podcast. Yes, so I started a podcast. So what? What was the inspiration? Because it started beginning about nine months. Yes.
Speaker 3:This is the first year for abiding from home. And you know I like stayed in shame and walked in shame for way too long. I'm getting divorced and again feeling like a failure.
Speaker 2:Because what would people say? What would people say, what would they think? That's not what we're supposed to do.
Speaker 3:Correct and it really took probably four years before I walked back into my home church after the divorce, just worried about what people would think, and really they didn't think anything. They were glad I was there. And we make up these thoughts in our head of well, I think the devil has a lot to do with that. That tells you know, keeps us trapped in suffocating within our own thoughts and stops us from doing what we're supposed to do. Call to do what we want to do.
Speaker 3:And and so I I don't. I started abiding from home because I never want a woman to feel like I felt and know that. You know, everyone has a past, everyone has a story and if I can let go of that shame that the devil is giving me it's not of God, it's from the devil and be vulnerable and transparent and sharing. You know what I learned, how I learned it, what I've walked through, that maybe that gets somebody back in a church home, in a community which they need, and I just think a lot of times that holds us back from building community because of what, what we perceive people are thinking.
Speaker 3:And really it's not what they're thinking at all.
Speaker 2:Now some people, yes, and you would say what was holding you back was simply what you perceived them to think. Yes. From being in the church and growing up in the church, and yes, I knew better.
Speaker 3:You know I wasn't supposed to get a divorce, all of those things. But I, I told the kids this one day and youth I said I'm not even sure I prayed for my marriage and that sounds absolutely insane to me because I grew up in church my whole life and, you know, not something I would really be proud of, to admit. But I don't think I did and our marriage wasn't Christ centered and you know there's lots of things that go into that and getting a divorce. But I I don't think I really came to know, know God. I knew of him, but I didn't know him until almost 27 years old. And so I just think learning to forgive yourself If God can forgive you, you can forgive yourself and really your relationship with God is all that matters. My identity is in Christ, not what other people think about me.
Speaker 2:And talking about marriage and in the church, I think sometimes especially, you were younger when you got married. You were 18, 19. Yeah, I was 19 in church after I was married and you see those older couples, they've been married for ages in church but nobody ever talks about how to stay married. Yes. And they, they like oh, you know, we've had a great marriage. Marriage is not always great.
Speaker 3:No, it's not.
Speaker 2:And nobody talks about in church. That it's not always great. Sometimes you don't like the other person. The difference is that you learn how to work and talk through those situations. It's not that it's easy, yes, and so we see that like, well, I must be a failure again because I had this marriage. It didn't work, but sometimes we were never taught that that's. That's not always the first option. You have to work through things. You have to communicate. You may have to give 90% when the other person only gives 10. Yes.
Speaker 2:And later that person's going to give 90 and you're going to give maybe one.
Speaker 3:Yes, and I definitely don't think we talk about it. I, you know, I grew up with parents who argued, but they argued behind closed doors and I can remember me and Josh having a conversation one day and we were arguing over something. He's like I'm not going to talk about this in front of the boys. I'm like, why not? Why not talk about it in front of them and let them see that we could talk through something and overcome it? And you know that took a lot of practice from us and learning from previous marriages that didn't work, of how we could do things differently. And even I tell Corbin all the time I'm like, you know, I try to be transparent and tell him look, I'm sorry, I did this, I'm sorry I did that, I'm learning.
Speaker 3:You know, I talked to the kids differently than I taught to him. You know, five years down the road and I know that has to bother him at times, but I just think it's a learning experience and if he can see me growing and learning in this and what worked and what didn't work, and I can be completely transparent with him, then hopefully he doesn't repeat my mistakes or hopefully he learns to show himself grace and learn that he's still loved, no matter if he fails or not.
Speaker 2:And that's so true. We do parent our kids differently, especially that age gap, because you're a different person 100%.
Speaker 2:I mean, it's just the way it is. And so you've learned, and so it's not like they're getting special treatment, the younger ones, it's just, you've learned to be a better parent. Yes, you become more efficient. It's just like if you start a new job, you don't know anything. You mess up a bunch and unfortunately, we mess up a bunch on our kids and we can look in the back and go man, I didn't do that right. I mean, came out, look at that with our kids all the time and our boys think that our girls got special treatment. But no, we just we're a little better at it.
Speaker 2:Yes, then we were with them, unfortunately, yeah. So those older ones kind of get the, they get the young parent.
Speaker 3:Yes they do, that doesn't have all the experience. I laugh all the time I say I don't know why God think I, how God thought I could be a parent. I don't know what I'm doing.
Speaker 2:Because there's no, there's no manual that says this is how you do it and it's there's no right way. But I think it is important, like you mentioned, to share with our kids and share with others, especially, I think, as married couples. We we share with younger married couples or those looking to get married. Yes about the challenges that will come up and and how to work through those. And because if we don't know how to work through them, what's what's gonna happen? Well, we're not talking about it and eventually you can go separate ways.
Speaker 2:Yeah but I think more of those when we learn, when we communicate, and we learn how to connect with someone and and how do they communicate? Kim and I've talked about all the time about love language. Sometimes we get irritated at each other. Well, it's not my fault. She was expecting me to understand something that I was never. That was never my expectation, but that was her expectation of that. Yes, so when we start to learn each other's love languages and how that works and and that expectation of one versus the other, it changes everything. That's just because I expected that of her. That was never her expectation.
Speaker 3:Yes, we're the same way. We love the five.
Speaker 2:Lovely one yeah it's great and I encourage anybody that your lay ship or married to do the love languages.
Speaker 3:We had the boys do it. We were going, took them out, for you know, just the boys and us for I think it was Tyler Children's were going to see in concert. And on the way there we got to talking about that and they're like, what are you talking about love languages? I was like, yeah, like your love languages. And I told the oldest is, and I told Corbin his and, and Then they took the quiz. When we got back in the car and I said what, what did you? What did it come out? What was it? And I was spot-on, you know, and they start laughing and but I do think it's not. You know, you talked about Showing younger couples or people wanting to get married. I think that's so crucial for us to make sure that we're building relationships with our, our kids, or even, like you know, we've talked about our friends, that we hang out with who. We want to be good influences to our boys so that in the next few years there they think we're done. I mean, you just turned 14.
Speaker 3:You think your parents are done, that's just it, and so we want to have friends and family around them that come into our home often and already have a Relationship with them, so they can have those hard conversations, and I think it that's the hardest part is having hard conversations.
Speaker 2:Yeah it, especially as they grow up at to have those and because they're not always fun. No. And so with a body from home you wanted to share. So was that just your heart that you wanted to share to women and Kind of those challenges that it's okay to have those challenges. Is that kind of where it came from?
Speaker 3:Yeah, and you know, in conversations with others it kind of kept being confirmed that this might be what I should do. So I just kind of started praying about it in the last November and To me it seemed ridiculous. It honestly did, because what am I doing? I have all this going on and I'm gonna do a podcast and it is very challenging and it, honestly, is the one of the hardest things I have ever done.
Speaker 3:It's vulnerable, it's the most vulnerable, it's very intimate and I don't know how to explain that to someone who hasn't done it, but it's the most terrifying thing I've ever done and in my mind I wanted to back out numerous times and even in I do it in seasons and going into it I we were talking about how often to post and.
Speaker 3:Josh is like we need to do it every week. Everyone's doing it every week, and so I thought about it and prayed about it and came back and said I'm not doing that. I do not have the capacity, the time frame. There is no, absolutely way I can post every week. So we do every other week and I only do, for you know, six or seven episodes. And then I take a break. It's kind of the game plan, and so it just kind of kept confirming, confirming, confirming.
Speaker 2:And I, honestly, it's just out of obedience that I'm, I'm doing it to be honest and you, just because you just felt that there was a calling to, to put that message out there.
Speaker 3:Yes, and If I'm, somebody is supposed to hear. What.
Speaker 3:I'm supposed to tell them what God's telling me to share. You know, I definitely think that Everyone's story when it comes to relationship with God can have an impact on somebody else, knowing them or not knowing them, and how we act every day, like I'm either bringing someone to Jesus or I'm turning them off from Jesus if they know that I'm a Christian and so I Felt that this was one way to do it and maybe reach some people that weren't in my small network, weren't weren't in my community, and See where it goes.
Speaker 2:Mm-hmm, and I agree again, just like JNM design brick and mortar. Now just to pop-ups. You find what works best for you when it comes to your show. Same for my hometown. My hometown was every week, the mind body project was every week. That was a lot to put out, so then I moved my hometown every other week, the mind body project still every week, and now I alternate weeks, so there's only one podcast coming out, because that what is what works for me.
Speaker 2:Yes and giving myself the okay to say it's not a failure. You're. You're still doing what you want to do, you're still putting out the information you want to reach and touch others, but it's what I can handle. Yes, because I'm the same way. I see, oh, let me try that and let me do it now. And so that's what happens. So so again, those principles that you learn from your business, you decided to apply to your podcast. Yes. I'll do it when it how it works for me.
Speaker 2:Yes, and design and if people, same as pulling the trailer up in your in front of your house, people will come to it. It may be got a turn, it's not always convenient, but they will get to where when they are looking for it and that's that's what's important. Yes, I Wanted you know, I always, I always send out a questionnaire and have my guest fill it out. And and one was about challenges asked about where some challenges you face living. But and I'm gonna read what, what you put, because I think it's so important that People forget sometimes it says when you, when you spent your entire life somewhere, people think they know you or know an older version of yourself.
Speaker 2:Yes and In a small town, small community we get sometimes pigeon-holed of. This is who they were in high school, so that is who they have to be at 50 years old correct. But people change.
Speaker 3:By the grace of God, thank goodness.
Speaker 2:So how do we? How do we accept that? What do we? Because I think that's true, people I'm sure there's people still call you coach. Yes, you still have students to have athletes. Call you coach. Yes, that's an older version of you. That's part of your life, but that's not who you are Anymore. Yeah that's just part of your life, so so how do you, how would you encourage people to get to know the newer version of people?
Speaker 3:I think we really have to be intentional in not letting previous encounters Block what we're seeing now, and I think that's very challenging because I think we live in a society where where I'm gonna do unto you as you did to me and that is not biblical at all, but it is very hard to live by, to show somebody grace or.
Speaker 3:But it's so easy in the same sense because we know we're not who we were 30 years ago and we know that to be true about ourselves, but for some reason we have these big, thick glasses on that don't allow us to see other people that way and I don't know, maybe I'm, I Feel like I'm pretty self-aware and in trying to learn from my own mistakes. I think that's something you have to be very intentional at and taking the time to Figure out well, that's not who I used to be and and on the flip side of that Also think it takes from the purse the other end I have to Just treat them how I want them to know me now. You know not not revert back to old ways or negativity or not speaking to someone when I see them at Walmart because they hurt my feelings.
Speaker 3:You know three years ago and just treat them how I want them to know me now, be friendly and be nice, and I Don't know that I have a right answer.
Speaker 2:But I like what you said. It starts with you If you want to get rid of, maybe, your preconceived notions of their older version. But it starts with us. It starts with us of saying hello, talking to them no matter what, and then see where that goes, because we do change. But you're right, we see ourselves change, but we think everybody else can't change from 20 years ago.
Speaker 2:And if we are intentional about it, we should be changing all the time In all aspects, whether it's how to be a better human, a better Christian, a better wife, a better husband. We're always changing, but we don't allow others to change. They have to prove it. They have to prove it and so I would encourage people to, especially when you've lived here your whole life. They have this thought of who you are and that has changed, I'm sure in the last really changed than probably the last few years since you've been youth minister, business owner, mom of five, podcasting. You're completely different. Now You're an entrepreneur. So how do you with entrepreneur, mom, podcasting, how do you balance all of that and being so busy?
Speaker 3:I don't. You asked for that question the other day and I thought I did not do a good job of this, and I heard this analogy the other day and I think I'm finally figuring this out and I'll probably butcher it. I saw it on a video. She said you know you juggle balls all the time. You're sitting there juggling everything and you know, for a woman it's even more because I'm the default parent, my husband works out of town. You know there's just all these added things that we think we have to juggle and balance. And how she explained it is you know you're sitting here juggling, but you have glass balls that you can't let drop and you have rubber balls that you can drop, and it's okay for those rubber balls to drop every now and then because they'll bounce back up.
Speaker 3:And I think that's the best way to put it, because I have to choose each day what's most important. There is no. They're in all those things you listed, nothing ever. The to do list is always growing and I just have to prioritize what's most important. Today, I've got second Monday coming up. Do I have enough inventory? I've got to get that done. I've got Wednesday night lesson. I've got to get that done, I cannot do five loads of laundry today and the next day I assess and do it again. And you know sometimes I don't do a great job of that and other times I do, but I just I really feel like we just work all the time.
Speaker 2:Entrepreneurial life works all the time, and I think you're right about. You know, five might be five loads of laundry, but it's not going to happen today. So I think balance sometimes looks like it may be. You're doing everything you can for a pop up and all the clothes start to pile up, the house gets messy, but then the pop ups over and now you're doing all that. Then you're working on getting a youth trip together. So there's different times. But if we look at a whole year it balances out. If we look at a day, it looks like all you did was this one thing all day long, and that's okay. But overall it's balance and I think we've again we've gotten the notion that balance means we do a little of this, we do a little of that and everybody feels great about it, and that's our balance.
Speaker 3:And I think you have to show yourself grace because I can look around and think visually. It's hard because visually I'm a visual person and I want to see progress and even in cleaning the house I look around, I'm like, okay, what will make the most impact? That I feel like I have accomplished at least one thing today. And I do that at the end of the night to make myself, you know, feel better.
Speaker 2:So it looks like I did that. It looks like I did something.
Speaker 3:And it looks like I did something to my husband when he walks in. Like what did you do today. Well, I did all this things, but you can't tell. And I started the laundry and then went and started that and forgot this and then forgot that. But hey, I got dinner cooked and your kids are baked.
Speaker 2:It's all good, so we're winning today.
Speaker 3:Yes, we're winning. We won the day the kids are alive.
Speaker 2:Not only you have JNM designs, but he also has a business.
Speaker 3:Yes, 1836 gun shop.
Speaker 2:So then that takes time.
Speaker 3:I think that was one of the biggest adjustments because he helped a lot with JNM on the backside of things and even going to pop up events. He'd come with me, help me set up, help me break down. You know he might not work that weekend but I think he'll having the business even takes more time away, you know, it just is more time.
Speaker 2:That he goes to that and then leaves you more to do so again. It's just, it's a balancing best you can, yes, and so what have you found success living being in Bowie, and really what makes you call Bowie my hometown? That is really what the success is is that you call it my hometown, not just because you're grown up here.
Speaker 3:I think for me, you know I always long to be part of a community and we see that all over. We see people who have the big family. They all go to the basketball games together. You know, you know I'm talking.
Speaker 3:They're all sitting there together and they'll all support in each other and I love it and I crave to have that. And what I've learned over the last year is we have that in Bowie. You just have to be willing to look for it and put in the effort for it. We started a women's Bible study at church and that's really what it's grown to be in a community that was in front of me the whole entire time but I didn't even realize it because I wasn't intentionally sinking it, I wasn't cultivating it, I wasn't putting out the effort and showing up. And I think that is the biggest thing is, you know, a small town provides community that you might not get in a larger town.
Speaker 2:And you've mentioned several times, as we've talked, intentional, intentional, intentional, and that puts it on us ourselves. Yes.
Speaker 2:To be intentional. If you want a better relationship with Christ, you have to be intentional. If you want a better relationship with our spouse, you have to be intentional. A better relationship with our kids intentional. Our business intentional Everything. It just doesn't happen. We've all had incidents where we just thought it happened and we see how those things turn out. It just doesn't happen and happen good. Everything worthwhile is uphill because it takes work to have that. So how can they connect with JNM Designs? Abiding from home, how can they connect?
Speaker 3:JNM Designs. I think underscore is the handle on Instagram and it links to abiding from home and social media too. But I don't post a lot there. I just I'm trying to just post on JNM Designs as much as I can, and we have Facebook page, a website jnmdesignscom.
Speaker 2:And then abiding from home can be found on any podcast platform.
Speaker 3:Any podcast? Yes, Any podcast.
Speaker 2:And then it's also on YouTube, but just the audio.
Speaker 3:Yes.
Speaker 2:So they can find it, and is it?
Speaker 3:It's abiding from home on YouTube, on YouTube.
Speaker 2:So they can find all those and we'll put all those in the show notes so people can find all that, connect and listen to your podcast. That you and a podcast is a great avenue because you can touch so many lives outside of our community and you're right you do it because there's going to be the one person that listens to it. That said, that one was for me, and especially when God lays what he wants you to say on your heart and you put it out there and you know it's when you're, when you're obedient.
Speaker 3:It's just amazing how many lives he will change, and for his glory and his glory only. And he'll give you those breadcrumbs of confirming you're doing what, what I've asked you to do. And it's always nice, I'm sure too, when someone says Aaron, thanks, you know, and gives you a testimony, because it does confirm this is where I'm supposed to be, this is what I'm supposed to be doing, and that's my prayer for abiding from home that it breaches someone who knows that they're not alone in struggling with their kids or struggling with their spouse or struggling in their relationship with Christ, that we're all just trying to figure this out together.
Speaker 2:And we all as much, as it looks like everybody hasn't figured out.
Speaker 3:They don't know, not at all. There's chaos behind every Instagram picture.
Speaker 2:Yes, yes, and the more we can connect and communicate, the more we can learn those things. Just as my hometown is about, so people in our community can connect with business owners. People in our community know them on a different level that sometimes they don't have passing by at Walmart saying, hi, how are you? They get to get into your life a little bit and say, oh, you know, I want to be part of what she is part of. So thank you for being on my hometown today, miranda.
Speaker 3:I appreciate you sharing it, thank you. Thank you for having me.
Speaker 2:You're welcome. We'll put all that stuff, all your links, in our show notes so people can find you and go listen to our podcast of Binding from Home has season so, but there's quite a few out because you've been doing it for close to a year now we're on season two, right now. Season two, so so that's exciting. So thank you to each of you for stopping by and joining us today. We're looking forward to seeing you around my hometown.
Speaker 1:Thank you for listening to today's podcast. If you would like to connect with Erin, you can do so by going to erindeglercom or find him on social media as Erin Degler on Instagram, Facebook and YouTube. Once again, we greatly appreciate you tuning in. If you have enjoyed this show, please feel free to rate, subscribe and leave a review wherever you get your podcast. We greatly appreciate that effort and we will see you around in my hometown.