Shifting from “Should” to “Get To” for Renewed Energy at Work

What powers you at work: pressure or purpose? This episode gives you one simple language hack to turn daily obligations into energizing opportunities.

In this episode of the Practicing Connection podcast, Jessica and Coral explore the powerful impact of language on motivation and energy at work. 

Building on last episode's Motivation Mapping, they introduce the "Should-to-Get To" reframe - a simple, real-time habit that helps replace pressure and obligation with purpose and appreciation. 

Coral shares practical steps to notice “should” statements, reframe them, and align daily tasks with intrinsic motivators like growth and service. 

Listeners can expect:

• actionable advice
• thoughtful reflection questions, and 
• real-world examples of how language shapes our experience and energizes our workday.

Further links and resources from this episode:

• "Should To-Get To" Worksheet.pdf
• Join our LinkedIn group: https://www.linkedin.com/groups/12879756/ 
• Send us a message: practicingconnection@oneop.org 

Transcript

JESSICA BECKENDORF: [00:00:00] Hi. Thanks for listening to the Practicing Connection Podcast. I'm Jessica and my co-host Coral is here as well. Today we're going to be talking about motivation again, and specifically how the language we use can either drain us or energize us. We're exploring how shifting from “I should” to, “I get to” can change the way we approach our professional roles.

Hey Coral, how are you?

CORAL OWEN: Hey, Jessica. I'm doing really well, thanks. I'm quite excited about this conversation today because it builds on the practice we shared, I think a couple episodes ago, about motivation mapping, and that practice helps us step back and see whether we're being fueled more by extrinsic motivators like deadlines, or recognition, or intrinsic motivators like purpose, values and things of that nature. 

The practice we're talking about today, it's like the quick everyday version of that and helps us notice in the moment when we're running on [00:01:00] shoulds, and shift our energy to the get to’s.

JESSICA BECKENDORF: I always like to say, don't should all over yourself is, well, I love that it sounds like motivation mapping is the reflection piece, and this kind of reframe is the habit that you can carry into your daily life.

CORAL OWEN: Yeah, 100%. And it is just a really practical, real-time way to reconnect with that intrinsic motivator, and it's just something that you can have in your hip pocket to access on the fly when you need it.

JESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. Well, as always, we'd love to hear from our listeners. Drop us a note at Practicing connection@oneop.org and let us know how you've caught yourself saying I should, and turned it into, I get to.

- break -

Let's dig into this should to get to reframe. Coral, can you walk us through what it looks like as a practice?[00:02:00]

CORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So even if it sounds a little cliché, the words that we use with ourselves, they truly do matter. And when we say “I should,” or, “I have to,” we're typically operating out of extrinsic motivation. So external expectations, pressures, obligations, and that language makes these tasks. Or can make these tasks feel heavy and draining.

And when we shift to an, “I want to,” or, “I get to,” we're reframing the same task in terms of intrinsic motivation. Things like purpose, meaning, or growth. And then suddenly like magic, the task can feel a little bit lighter, intentional, or more connected to our values. 

And I do want to say, I don't want this to come off as like, you know, “Oh, there's a silver lining in everything,” because there are some really heavy things or just sort of mundane, you know, root things that we move through on a day to day.

But really connecting these back to the benefit and the value and the purpose is really where this practice holds its [00:03:00] power.

JESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. What I'm noticing here, in what you're saying, is that it's not about pretending, right? It's not saying, “I get to,” instead of "I have to.” It's not about pretending just to move through your day. It actually is about trying to connect it back to something that matters to you.

CORAL OWEN: A hundred percent. A hundred percent yes. Thank you for saying that, Jess.

JESSICA BECKENDORF: So, tell us about the practice. Let's go through it.

CORAL OWEN: Absolutely. So like I said, it's very simple and straightforward. Step one is identifying your shoulds. A great place to start is your to-do list. So, for instance, if you're just getting in touch with this practice at the start of your day, you can jot down three tasks that are on your to-do list that you've been thinking of as shoulds or have tos.

So for example, “I have to answer these emails,” or, “I really should prepare for this meeting.” From there, step two is reframe these shoulds or have to’s with get to, and you're going to take each one and rewrite [00:04:00] as I get to, but tie it back. And this is really the crux of this, is you're gonna tie it back to something meaningful, like one of your key values, for instance, or something you enjoy.

So a reframe of those two examples from step one would be, instead of, “I should answer these emails,” “I get to support people who are counting on me for my input and expertise.” Instead of, “I have to prepare for this meeting,” “I get to help shape decisions and share my expertise and make an impact from there.”

Step three is just notice a shift, however slight it may be. So you want to say that reframe vision out loud again. It doesn't change the task, but it changes the energy that you're bringing to it and you're giving it. 

And from there, step four, carry it forward. See if you can use this throughout your day and notice when you may catch yourself saying should or have to.

And you know, just try pausing, reframing and see how that may change your perspective even in the slightest of [00:05:00] angles.

JESSICA BECKENDORF: Yeah. I really like how simple that is. It makes me think about a time very recently that I had a big deadline for a presentation I was giving. I kept telling myself, “Okay, I have to get this done. I have to get this done. I need to work on this.” And it felt really stressful. If I had kind of reframed it as, “I get to share important information with my colleagues, or, “I get to share about my work with my colleagues because I do a lot of work that my colleagues don't know about.” 

And so, it was really actually an opportunity for me to share what I'm doing with them. I think it would've felt more purposeful. And in the end it did feel perfect, right? I delivered it and it felt great. But leading up to that was stressful.

CORAL OWEN: Yeah, like when you can find and tap into that deeper purpose in the process of the doing of the thing, when we tend to feel the most stress, rather than just like you've arrived at the finish line. And now we're like seeing the impact and seeing the purpose and connecting in real time [00:06:00] with all of the buildup.

That's exactly it. That task, that process, it didn't change, but your relationship to it while you're still, you know, feeling the deadline and feeling the heat maybe a little bit. That's the thing that changes. 

And this ties right back to what we talked about with the motivation mapping episode from a couple weeks ago, is when you're stuck in this should orientation or should language, again, we're relying on these extrinsic factors like the deadline or meeting someone else's expectation sort of parameters.

And again, yes, it does work in the short term. It keeps things on track, but it can drain us and our energy. And when we shift to the get to, we're reframing it in the lens and in the orientation of intrinsic motivators like our purpose, our growth, alignment with values. And that is just such a renewable, energetic resource.

And it's what sustains us when things get hard or feel like a little bit of a slog, and especially or [00:07:00] more long term.

JESSICA BECKENDORF: You know, kind of like what we said earlier, it sounds like the mapping exercise is kind of the bigger picture reflection, and the should to/get to reframe is the micro practice.

CORAL OWEN: Exactly. These truly compliment each other. The mapping can help you see those patterns from a more macro level, and the reframing is really that real time practice that can help you. In a manner of just a couple seconds, stay aligned in the moment and tap back into, you know, what truly is the purpose and the sustaining force behind all of the efforts.

JESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Well, I brought along a couple of questions that our listeners can reflect on as they try the practice. The first one is what's one should that feels heavy in your work right now? It's a really great place to start. What feels heavy in your work right now that you're telling yourself you should do?

How could you reframe it into an I get to [00:08:00] that connects with your values? And then finally, when you make that shift, what happens to your energy or your sense of motivation?

CORAL OWEN: I love those questions. Those are so, again, just so straightforward. But can really just even in the span of a few minutes, by pausing on those questions, it can help shift the entire tone of our day.

JESSICA BECKENDORF: That's the practice for this week. The should to/get to reframe. We'd love to hear what you discover when you try it out. Email us at practicingconnection@oneop.org and share your reflections.

CORAL OWEN: Also, if you would like a worksheet to guide this practice, check out the show notes. We have created a template where you can write your shoulds and reframe them as get to’s.

JESSICA BECKENDORF: Awesome. Thanks for joining us today. If you enjoyed this episode, click the share button in your podcast app and send it to a friend who might benefit. We'll be back next week with a new episode.

Until then, keep practicing.

[00:09:00]

CREDITS: The Practicing Connection Podcast is a production of OneOp and is supported by the National Institute of Food and Agriculture, US Department of Agriculture and the Office of Military Family Readiness Policy, US Department of Defense under award number 2 0 2 3 4 8 7 74 3 3.