Mom Is My Emergency Contact Podcast

Ep. 24 She Moved In With A Man And His Kids To Save Money......Would You?

• Lisa

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She didn’t “manifest” her way out of this. She made a plan, took a second job, faced the numbers, and made a housing choice that sounded a little unhinged on purpose because survival sometimes is. Lisa, the creator behind thirtyfiveandfive, joins us to tell the full story of how her five-year plan became a lifeline when life felt off-track at 35.

Key Takeaways

  • Setting clear goals is essential for personal growth and accountability. 
  • Vulnerability can foster community and support among individuals facing similar challenges.
  • It's crucial to adapt and adjust plans as life unfolds, recognizing that setbacks are part of the journey.

About Lisa 

Lisa is a now thirty-six year old woman who has navigated life's up and downs as a single woman. Most recently, she created an Instagram profile called Thirty Five and Five where she records her day-to-day life and progress in a five-year plan.

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Bold Decisions That Change Everything

SPEAKER_00

Welcome back to Mom is my emergency contact, the podcast for women figuring out how the fuck to navigate life, dating, money, motherhood, and everything in between. Today's episode is about something we don't talk about enough. The reality of making bold, sometimes uncomfortable decisions to change your life. Because sometimes growth doesn't look glamorous. Sometimes it looks like swallowing your pride, stepping outside of your comfort zone, and making a choice that other people might not understand. My guest today made a decision that most people probably wouldn't expect. So let's get into it. Today's guest is Lisa from 35 and 5. She is a 36-year-old woman who has navigated life's ups and downs as a single woman. Most recently, she created an Instagram profile called 35 and 5, where she records her day-to-day life in progress in a five-year plan. Welcome, Lisa.

SPEAKER_02

Hi, thank you so much for having me.

SPEAKER_00

Lisa, we're the Lisa Lisa show here. We are the Lisa Duo. That's fantastic. Okay, so I want to explain to the followers or the ones that are listening because they always ask me, where do you get these guests? And Instagram, social media, I she popped up, you popped up on my feed, and I'm listening and I'm like, whoa. And you're gonna you're gonna know why I said that. And I'm like, oh my God, I'm so intrigued. I'm so curious. I want to know more. And that is where I found you. But also I want you to talk a little bit about your brand 35 and 5.

What 35 And 5 Means

SPEAKER_00

Where does that come from?

SPEAKER_02

Uh it came from an idea of mine that when I turned 35, I had very specific goals that I wanted to achieve. And I decided to create a five-year plan for myself. So at 35 years old, I created a five-year plan, hence 35 and 5.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, okay. I love it. I love it. All right. So let me ask you this: when you first um came onto the scene on social media, like what made you think in your mind, I want to share my life? Like, where did that come from?

SPEAKER_02

Uh yeah, so when I first created my social media profile, I really wasn't looking to find a bunch of subscribers. It was a way for me to keep myself accountable. I had these very specific goals that were financial, they were life goals, they were personal, like fitness goals. And for me to share them just with friends that were following me and having to record and post my actual my face and my journey. Um, that was a way to hold myself accountable. And so at the very beginning, it was really just, you know, maybe a hundred people that I knew in general who were following me. And that was really what I was trying to do was just to show myself. And also I think there's just a huge amount of people that are out there thinking that no one is going through what I'm going through. And it's just not true. And the more I think we see women in general who are struggling to make it, but making it nonetheless, um, and going through tough times and making those hard decisions and swallowing that pride pill and going, gay, that wasn't exactly what I should have done. I think the more that we see it, the more it's like, okay, I can reroute, I can fix this, I can, you know, change my life, even if it's just making one goal for myself and working toward that one goal. So just kind of all of these different things I started to think about. And I was like, I'm just gonna start, you know, an Instagram profile. And I did. And then one day it just started gaining a lot of traction. And I've got people that are really following along through this entire journey, and it's fantastic. It's so much fun.

SPEAKER_00

And she's about to tell us this journey because you're probably wondering, what the hell is she talking about?

Escaping A Bad Relationship

SPEAKER_00

So Lisa, why don't you tell us like where did the journey begin? How and what was happening in your life that led you to make that decision?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so I several years ago, I actually had created a five-year plan for myself. So the one I'm on right now is my second five-year plan. Um, so in like 2021, I was in just a really horrible relationship. Uh, I needed to get out of it. And so I made a plan for myself to get a different job, to move houses, um, to really like escape this relationship. Uh, and for anyone who's ever been in that kind of situation, like it really does feel like escaping. And you have to try multiple times to escape it a lot of times. And so that's what was happening to me. And so I wanted to move, needed a better job, um, that paid more so that I could afford a bigger home. And I also ultimately wanted to become a mom and to become a foster mother. And so all of those things had to happen in order, in order to me, in order for me to be able to foster. Uh, and so I created that five-year plan for me, and I did all of that in about two years. I figured it all out and it just it started to kind of just fall into place. And I think a lot of it had to do with I just I had these goals. They were in the forefront of my mind. I was speaking them out into the universe, I was praying about them, I was doing all of these things, and so all of me was working toward those goals, and I got them accomplished. I became a foster mom. I got to move into a house with multiple bedrooms so these children could have their own rooms. Um, and I got another job that paid enough for me to be able to do all of these things, and so I accomplished all of those goals. Uh, and then

Fostering Dreams And Financial Fallout

SPEAKER_02

a lot of different things happened. The fostering eventually I took a break from that, and it was a lot, it was very difficult, it was worth it, but for me to do it on my own as a single foster mother um became financially too much for me. And I started accruing a lot of debt um and just kind of started to fall behind personally, and so I kind of put a hold on everything. And a few years later, 2025, I'm 35 years old. I'm not where I thought I would be at 35 years old. Um, I'm still single. I don't have a family of my own. I'm still working a really great job, but other than that, I really don't have a whole lot going for me. Um, I'm in a lot of debt, I've gained a lot of weight. And so since my previous five-year plan had worked so well, one night I was like, I just I need another one. Uh so I sat down and I wrote down goals that I had for myself, very specific ones. And I was like, okay, this is what I want to do. And so I've got these five goals, right? Um, so one is to buy a new to me car because my car is she's almost at 200,000 miles. Uh, and so saving for that is a big thing for me because I don't want to take out a massive loan. I have currently about $40,000 in credit card debt and small loan debt that I am slowly paying down. Um, I want to become a mother at some point. Um, not sure exactly how that's going to look. That's that's kind of like a an end goal. Like a lot of other things have to happen before I get to that one. Um, I want to lose 70 pounds total, which is very within the realm of health, health-wise for me. Um, and then to have like a really fun one, I want to travel to five new places. So these are my five goals: saving money, paying down debt, being a mom, travel. And so at 35, I made a five-year plan to be able to do all of those things. And that is 35 and five. I am working toward all of those goals and figuring out what my best route for each of them is, which to do first, which to really set my sights on and devote the most energy to first. Uh, and some of them I've stumbled and had to reroute a little bit. And some of them are just waiting for me to finish another one first. And so it's just me figuring it out as I go and showing the whole figuring it out process.

SPEAKER_00

Mm-hmm. That's well, let me first say, man, I could I'm I know you're gonna think this woman's gassing me up. I'm not gassing me, gassing you up, I promise you. But the fact that you're so honest and vulnerable about that, like seriously, ain't nobody want to know like how much I owe. Like, nobody wants to share that shit, and we're all hiding it. But then when we hear somebody else, we're like, okay, I'm not I'm not the one, I'm not the only one that's going through this. That is like unbelievable that you are so honest about it. And I think that's part of the reason why um you're getting so much traction is that vulnerability and your honesty. Um, let me ask you a question. So, and we're gonna talk more about this because we haven't even gotten to the climax of this. Um, has anybody slid into your DMs like offering themselves like the DMs are crazy?

SPEAKER_02

The DMs are crazy. I I have so many people that message me and they're so supportive and they're like, girl, I'm with you, like, great. I have some people who that slide into my DMs and are like, what the fuck are you doing? Like, this is ridiculous. And I'm like, why are you following me then? Like, you're the one who followed me. Just scroll past. Um, and then I've got I've had a few guys that have slid in and are like, oh my gosh, you're so pretty. And I'm like, this is not the space for this. Uh, you read the room wrong, man. Like, this is one of my goals is not to find a man. I want that to be very clear because I have not had the best luck, and I am a strong, capable woman, and I can reach all of these goals on my own if I need to,

The New Five Goals At 35

SPEAKER_02

and I'm not relying on trying to find a guy to make sure that I can pay off my debt and he can help me. I was raised to be able to do things on my own. Sometimes my parents think maybe they raised me a little too independent. Um, but I uh I did this. I am where I am on my own, and to make my life better, I can do that on my own. I don't want to put that on anybody else or make that an expectation that someone should have to help me with this. So um that's yeah, that's where I am with that.

SPEAKER_01

But yeah, I've got a lot of variety of DMs, let's say.

SPEAKER_00

Oh, good entertainment. Um, God, so empowering what you just said. Very, very empowering. I could actually feel that as you're speaking in regards to that. So, okay. So you got the plan. Now what happens?

SPEAKER_02

Oh boy. So um all of my plan. So I currently work two jobs, right? Um some at some point last year, like actually January of 2025, I realized that I was unable to pay all of my bills with just my full-time job. Um, and that I was living on maybe an extra $50 a month after everything was paid. And I had an insane amount of anxiety. Like, how am I eating? Like, how am I getting gas? How am I doing all of this? Um, and I'm not afraid of work. So I just started applying and going, I need an extra weekend job. And I got a second job at the big box home improvement store that I'm technically not allowed to name because of their policies. Um, but everyone can kind of guess it's the orange one. Okay. And so I applied at a lot of different I applied, I applied at Walmart, Costco, like all these different places. Um, and I did get a job at the big box home improvement store. I work on the weekends and some evenings during the week, so I'm able to bring in some extra cash. And I started a debt payoff program specifically for my credit cards. And this was something that a co-worker who I really respect, she and her husband had gotten into a bind and they had started this program, and she talked to me about this a little bit. Uh, and so I started to look into it. I did a lot of research, and because I think a lot of these programs, some of them can be pretty sketchy, right? Uh, and they are there to take your money and not really help you. And so I did a lot of research, went through the Better Business Bureau, like did a lot of different things and found one that would work for me. And so I enrolled in that with all of my credit cards uh and one little small personal loan so that I have a fixed monthly payment, and they are negotiating down my debt totals on all of my accounts. So overall, I won't be paying all of that back, but with all of the interest I've paid, I'm paying everything I've used, but it's just in a different way. Um and so I've got that going, and now with some extra income and less going out, financially I'm in a much better place. And then with my weight goal, I did start a GLP one and that has helped. I've getting to my last few months of my life. Uh there is I've put a hold on a GLP one just because

Two Jobs And A Debt Payoff Plan

SPEAKER_02

the last few months of my life have been crazy, because I've had to move twice in the past three months. And these are things that I did not expect to happen and kind of came out of the blue because that's what life is. It is rolling with the punches. There are constantly things going wrong, and you get through that thing, and then the next thing pops up. So I was renting a beautiful house and had been there for almost four years, and I got a call in October of 2025 that my landlord was putting the house up for sale and that I needed to find a new place to rent. Now, because of my financial situation, enrolling in the rental or in the payback program, my credit score plummeted and was working its way back up, but wasn't in a place where if I had to apply to a place and they asked for a credit score, it wasn't gonna look good.

SPEAKER_03

Uh, and so I was trying to find a place to live. Um and so I found one, but it turned out not to be a great situation.

SPEAKER_02

Um stop me at any point if you want.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, I'm gonna stop you. Okay. So all right, so this is how I found you, okay, because you were talking about living with a dad and his kids. And I was like, wait, wait, like you don't know the dad and you don't know the kids. So you didn't so you end up moving in with a dad, and by the way, his name that you put on social media, is that like his real name?

SPEAKER_02

No.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, I I I kind of figured that. Okay. So I love that you had the name, right? You you called him out with his name, um, and then said that you are living with a dad and his two kids, I believe. So how did you find that?

SPEAKER_02

Yeah, so when my original landlord called and was like, I'm selling, you gotta find a place to live. Um, I said, Okay, when? Like, when is this my 60-day notice? And the when part was really loosey-goosey. Like, they would not give me a definite answer. And I think it was their way of trying to work with me, but when I asked, like, hey, can I have until the end of March? They wouldn't say yes or no. It was just, and I just kept waiting for something. And I'm a planner, like, obviously, I'm a planner. I've got a five-year plan. I need like solid something in front of me to say, this is your end date. And they just would not give that to me. And so I started panicking, trying to find a place that I could afford and I could take my cat because I have a cat, and finding a place to rent that will allow pets is really difficult. Um, and I live in northern Virginia, and it is expensive here, and I'm a teacher, and living on a teacher's salary in Northern Virginia on your own is almost impossible. And so I was just finding, I was trying to find something. My friends were looking for me.

GLP-1, Weight Loss, And Life Chaos

SPEAKER_02

Like they, everyone that I knew was trying to help, but they just didn't know how to help in my situation. And then one day, one of my best friends sends me a screenshot of a posting, and she sent it to me as a joke.

SPEAKER_03

I should have taken the joke.

SPEAKER_02

But I was in panic mode, I didn't know what to do. And when she said it to me, like I knew it was a joke, but I was like, baby. And it was a neighbor of hers who frequently rents out rooms in his six-bedroom house.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_02

And it's across the street from her. I actually carpooled to work with her. It was going to be location-wise, very, very good. And I was like, you know what? And the price was right. So I was like, can I take my cat? And so I reached out to him and he was like, Yeah, sure, come on by. Like, tour the rooms, I can talk to you about whatever you need to, blah, blah, blah. And so on 35 and 5, I call this man housemate Greg. Okay. I go to meet housemate Greg. Meanwhile, I tell my friend Amanda, like, hey, this is happening. And she goes, I'm sorry, what that was that was a joke. Like, what? Uh, and I was like, no, like I need I need a place to live. Like, I don't know what to do. I am in straight up panic mode. So I go to meet housemate Greg, and I'm touring the house, big house. It's beautiful, it's a little messy. Uh, he's got a dog. He's like, Are you okay with dogs? And I'm like, Yeah, like I love dogs. Dog seems to like me. He's there were two men that were living there in the rooms they were vacating, and they were there. They had been there for a year. Um, they owned a pressure washing business. They were from Missouri, and apparently they were coming here for a year to like work, work, work and make a lot of money in the area because they could charge a lot more here than they could in Missouri. So they were just renting a couple of bedrooms to basically crash at his house while they lived here. And they were moving out. And he was like, I need to rent these rooms out. And I was like, Okay, so I take a look, it seems fine, the location is great. We strike a deal, and I'm like, okay, and I move in a month later.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, is this a is he a single dad?

SPEAKER_02

He this is a single dad, and he has three sons. Uh, they are all different ages, so there is a 20 year old. Who lives in the basement? There is a 15-year-old who is there every other weekend because of custody arrangements. And then there is a 10-year-old that is there 50% of the time on random days because of housemate Greg's work schedule. And he he works a crazy works shift work, so he's on for 24 hours, off for 72. And so the youngest would be there whenever he was off. And so I was like, okay. Now when he explained all this to me before I signed a lease agreement, before I moved in, he was like, you'll never see anybody. Like he was never there when the 10-year-old was there, like he would always be at friends' houses. The 15-year-old is there every other weekend. And the 20-year-old worked two part-time jobs. And even if he wasn't working, he was just in the basement playing video games. So I'm like, okay, well, I guess that'll work. And again, panic mode, like I need a place to live. And so I just said, okay, like I'm just leaping into this. And so at the end of December of 2025, I moved in with housemate Greg. Uh, I rented two rooms from him at one end of the hall on the second floor. And one I made into my bedroom, and the other was my office, and kind of where my cat stayed and had to stay because she couldn't, the dog would not allow her out of the room, basically.

SPEAKER_00

And we heard about that.

unknown

Yeah.

Forced To Move With Bad Credit

SPEAKER_00

Um, was this cut off? Like, was the house like set up where it was cut off from like his living quarters, or it was just open?

SPEAKER_02

It was just a normal house, just open. I was just like, I was at one end of the hallway upstairs, and he and the 10-year-old were at the other end of the hallway upstairs. And I'm just like, okay guys. So I just like I don't know, like Auntie Lisa moving in down the hall kind of thing. Um and it was fine. My parents were hugely helpful. My dad came down for like three weeks in a row. I'm in Virginia, they're in Pennsylvania. Um, and he had just retired. And so he helped me pack, he had he helped me move almost all of my belongings into a storage unit where he built shelving for the storage unit. He painted the two bedrooms that I was moving into because one was lime green and another was red and black. Literal red flags everywhere for me to not move in to this place. And I'm just like, red flag? What's that? You know, just let it fly past me. So but and I think my parents were just going, they were just trying to be supportive. They're like, okay, like this is it's temporary. That was kind of our mantra was it's temporary, and boy, was it very temporary.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sure people are like wondering some of these questions that I'm about to ask you. Okay, so how about like safety? Did you have your oh did the doors were locked? And did you ever feel like that your safety was at risk at any time?

SPEAKER_02

Uh my doors could lock, but at no point did I ever feel unsafe. Um, my friend did know this neighbor, and she and her husband, who her husband's a police officer, um, they had met him and he'd been over to their house for fires, like and his youngest and their kids would play together a lot. Like they knew each other from the neighborhood. Um, and housemate Greg's actually a firefighter. So, like it was it was kind of like just like a normal guy, and uh he and he is a very nice man. Like he he's very I don't know, he's a simple guy, but he is very nice. Um and so I didn't ever feel unsafe. He would check in and sometimes he would offer, like, hey, I'm gonna order food. Do you want some like that kind of thing? But um I did have a baseball bat beside my bed though. But that's just a that's a me thing. I that's just a me thing.

SPEAKER_00

It's a good thing though. Um, were there any awkward moments?

SPEAKER_02

There were uh some awkward moments. I moving in was really difficult for me because I had been on my own for so long. Like I had lived on my I've almost always been on my own. And so moving in with new people was hard, even though I didn't see a lot of them too often. But one thing that I noticed very quickly was that housework was not a priority, um, and taking care of the home or the dog or anything that was in the home was a priority of theirs, and so I did have a conversation with housemate Greg about cleanliness because it was it was gross, it was gross. I think they cleaned up before I went and like toured the place, and then after that, I don't think anyone ran a vacuum the entire time I lived there other than me. Um, and so it was like the first night I was there, I wiped off the kitchen table and the cloth came up brown. Like I don't know when the last time anyone had wiped off the kitchen table was like it's just basic cleanliness was not happening at all. And the thing is, like, they knew it too because the middle child, he was like, Yeah, there's like clumps of dog fur all over the floor everywhere. And like I was like, Yeah, anyone want to do anything about that? So I did not move in to be anyone's housekeeper, that was not my job. So one night I did have a conversation with uh housemate Greg. I and I had thought about it a long time, like, how do I approach this without causing problems? Right? Because sometimes I'm a little blunt. And so I really have to think about the way that I say things. So I uh I basically asked him, hey, it with your previous roommates, because he had had many people rent these rooms before, with the previous people who have lived here, how did you divvy up housework? Were there

Moving In With A Single Dad

SPEAKER_02

because there's a common space of the kitchen and the living room and the dining room, and there was a like a sitting room downstairs. So basically the whole first floor was a common area. And I was like, How do you take care of this? Is there like a cleaning schedule? Is somebody in charge of one thing and someone else is in charge of the other? And he looked at me like he was confused what I was asking. And he was like, uh, I don't, I don't know. We just kind of take care of it when it needs to. And I was like, Okay. And my face shows everything I'm thinking all the time. Everyone I know is like Lisa, fix your face. Like, because I never know what it's doing at any point in time. And I'm sure my face uh probably looked like, are you fucking kidding me? And so I was like, okay, so is there like a chore chart? Like, is anybody what's going on with that? And he just went, Well, if you want to make one, we can try to do it again. I'm not your mom. I am not your mom. And so he did ask, he was like, is there something that you're seeing that I should be working on more? Because like I just try to take care of it when I get the time. And it took everything in me not to say literally everything. Literally everything needs to be cleaned. This is disgusting. Wow. But I focused on the floors. I was like, definitely the floors and probably the countertops. And he was like, okay, I'll try to do better with that. But like he would work for 24 hours as a firefighter, and then he was also flipping a house in town. So when he wasn't on shift, he was downtown basically rebuilding a different house. So he wasn't taking care of the things that he had already at home, including the house where he lived and his children lived and also didn't take care of. So it just got progressively worse and worse. And I'm telling you, I'm not kidding. After that conversation, he vacuumed the steps because I mentioned the steps and how there were literal, it was just covered in dog hair. Just dog hair everywhere. And so he vacuumed the steps that night at like nine o'clock at night. That's the only time I heard anyone other than myself run a vacuum in the two months that I lived there.

SPEAKER_03

And it's like that's just an example.

SPEAKER_02

Like wiping off anything was not a priority. I never saw anyone wipe off a counter or like it was just it got to the point where I did not want to cook in the kitchen, and so I was buying like frozen meals to heat up in the microwave and take upstairs to my rooms. So it was just yeah. And he was like a nice guy, but he just that is just not something that is on his priority list. Taking care of the it's like, and it's a beautiful home. Like it could be so, so nice. And I feel bad for the kids.

SPEAKER_03

I feel bad for the dog, like it's just yeah, it was not good.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, and you know, uh, you said firefighter, those people they don't have normal hours. They they're like it, they're never home harley. Um, and then they he's doing something else, so he's definitely like basically never there. And you probably could have redecorated the entire house, and he probably wouldn't have said a goddamn thing. So when did at the point when did you get to the point where you were like, I need to leave, or did something happen? Because I think I missed those posts, because all of a sudden you mentioned leaving, and I'm like, what the fuck happened? So I couldn't, I didn't know what happened. So what what did happen?

SPEAKER_02

Honestly, I like I can't really pinpoint a specific thing that happened. Um, I know that when I did move in, so he has a dog, um, very sweet dog, love this dog. His name's Dylan. And when I moved in, he was like, Do you mind like every once in a while you might need to let Dylan out? Just like the people who lived here before, would just when they got home from work, they let him out. And that's really it. It's just to kind of help us out. And I was like, that's fine. Um, and then I think one weekend, nobody was home for three days straight. And nobody like let me know or asked me, like, hey, can you feed our dog multiple times a day and make sure he goes outside? Like, it was just assumed that I would do this. And then later on in that week, the 10-year-old got home from school and his housemate Greg wasn't there and no one knew where he was. And so I'm texting him, and he's like, Oh yeah, I'll be home. And it was just like, Am I expected to take care of your kid? Like, this is not okay. So at that point, I was like, I need to figure something else out.

SPEAKER_03

And so something really great kind of opened up for me because I had the opportunity to move out and to do it very quickly. And I took that opportunity.

Safety, Awkwardness, And House Rules

SPEAKER_03

Um, yeah.

SPEAKER_02

So that was it, it was just kind of like a combination of things. I think it was just like a snowball effect. And it was just like one night I was like, because my goal was to stay there for 18 months, and the rent was cheap, and so I was gonna save as much money as I could in that 18 months, pay stuff down, work toward my five-year plan. And one night I was like, I'm not gonna make 18 months, I'm not gonna make 12 months. Like, I signed a year-long lease, I was like, this I can't stay here, I just cannot stay here.

SPEAKER_00

Wow, yeah. Wow, okay, wow, all right. So going back to you being there, um, how was like because your girlfriend was like, I was joking, but now you're moved in there. How did your friends and families like react to you being there? And did anybody at any time like was negative about your decision? And how did you handle that?

SPEAKER_02

Um, all of my friends and family, they were like, the they were just so apologetic. They're like, We're so sorry, like that this is happening to you. The friend who sent me the post as a joke originally, she was like, I feel so bad. She's she feels so guilty for sending me this post. And she's like, I'm so so sorry. Like, I didn't realize. And I'm like, This is not your fault. I know it was a joke. Like, you didn't think that I would ever move in there, nor did you expect me to or even want me to. Um, and there's no way, like, she had never been in his house, he had always gone to her house, and so it was just like all of these things, and people are like, Okay, like it's temporary, it's temporary, was like the mantra, like you'll eventually make it out. Uh, and so they were trying to be supportive. Uh, no, no one that I personally knew was ever negative about the situation. Nobody ever came out and they're like, Well, that was your decision, like, too bad. Um, I several people on the internet have made that comment because the internet allows for a lot of bravery, but uh I mean, okay, there's nothing else, it's entertaining to watch.

SPEAKER_00

It is. It is. Um, did he know that you were going on social media talking? I mean, you're very good about not mentioning. I mean, I didn't even know where you came, where you lived. I didn't have no idea. You're very good at um making it seem anonymous so that there's no indicators of who this person was. Um, so he never knew that you were on social media talking about this situation.

SPEAKER_02

No, he um he did actually find 35 and 5 on Insta is my cast yell, by the way. Hi, Mimi. She's saying hi. Hi, sweet bee. Um, he did find 35 and 5 um on Instagram, and that was my fault for not like being proactive and blocking him. But it was before I really started talking about him or what the house was like or the dog or anything like that. Um, it was still in the phase of like I'm working toward these goals, which now I get to go back to that finally. Um and so he found me, he followed me, and I was like, oh no, oh no. And so like I immediately blocked him. Like, I was like, no, no, no, no, no, no, no. And I posted on my stories one night. I was like, oh my god, housemate Greg found me! I had to block him. And people flooded me with no, you can't do that. It'll make everything worse. It'll like it'll be a big red flag to him, it'll make everything awkward, and like just unblock him, like it'll be fine. And I'm like, I don't think it will be, but okay. So I unblocked him and I waited like another few weeks, and then I just ended up reblocking him. I was like, I am not I'm not doing this. Like, he I don't want to have to censor myself as much as I need to because of this man. And like what's the worst that could happen? He could be like, you know, did you block me? And I'll be like, Yeah. Yes, yes, I did.

SPEAKER_00

Oh god.

SPEAKER_02

Um did you vacuum? No.

SPEAKER_00

Like I mean, he it's crazy to know that he has an Instagram. He had time for that.

SPEAKER_04

Is that not crazy?

SPEAKER_02

I just yeah, it's it's pretty crazy.

SPEAKER_00

But he like, I think at one point he mentioned he was like, Yeah, I was just doom scrolling and I saw something, and I was just like, hmm, um, at any point did you ever say to yourself, what the hell did I do? What am I doing?

SPEAKER_01

Yeah, basically every day that I live there. Every single, every single day.

SPEAKER_00

But what but what kept you? And I'm asking this because I know we find ourselves in these situations where like we fucking hate it, but we have to do it, and we have to stay the course. How did you or what did you do, or what did you say to yourself to say, Lisa, you you just gotta stay the course. You know, this fucking sucks. Like, what are some of the things that you said to yourself, or what did you do to focus on your plan?

SPEAKER_02

I think honestly, I just thought about like I was safe, I was housed, I was across the street from my best friends, I still had, you know, my job. I had I had good things that were happening. And honestly, one of the biggest things that helped was 35 and 5, was just having that routine of I'm posting every night. Um, I'm working toward these goals, and again, having that accountability for myself of every little tiny step that I was making toward accomplishing my goals and living at Housemate Griggs was one of those steps. And so, like, I was able to see on paper the money that I saved, and I was able to see balances going down. And even in the short time that I lived there, like I was able to see like

Dirty House Problem And Boundaries

SPEAKER_02

a tangible movement toward being in a better spot. And so that was something that I just kept telling myself, and my parents were telling me the same thing too. They're like, we know it sucks. We know it sucks, but it's gonna be okay. Like, it's gonna be okay. And honestly, I think they were saying that as much for me as they were for themselves, because I mean their baby girl was like moved in with a stranger and has three kids. Like, what do you what else do you say at that? Like, you know, she's 36 years old. It's not like you can be like, nope, no, not allowed, you know.

SPEAKER_00

Um, what about dating? Because I know you mentioned dating on your Instagram. Did you ever tell anybody, oh, by the way, I mean, did they ever ask? Did you ever disclose that?

SPEAKER_02

Uh, I didn't go on a single date the entire time I was there. Uh huh. Oh so I kind of took a breather from dating. I was dating a guy last summer, and he just up and like ghosted. Like one day he just flipped his switch and was like, no, actually, I don't like you at all. And I was like, okay, bye. Um, which I mean, it's fine. You don't have to like everybody, but it was just it was a very weird situation. And I've just had so many situations like that that I just have no desire to try to fight through the craziness and the bullshit and the who's telling me the truth and find someone because I don't know what it is, but the weirdos find me. The weirdos, they find me. I got I got a big W on my forehead, and it's like, weirdo, come find me. I don't know. And um, I had so much going on at the same time with trying to move in, trying to manage all of these things. My job as a teacher is hard. Um, and it takes so much energy and so much brain power, and it's hard to add in okay, now go be your best self, you know, on a date with a stranger. Um it's uh or like scroll through the apps and try to find someone who might not be an axe murderer. Uh I just at this point, it's just like I'm best by myself. And I don't want to diminish that at all. I don't want to try to put myself into a box for another person. If I do find someone, I want to be able to improve their lives as they improve mine. Like we can help each other kind of that way. Um, and I just have not found that person, and even when I am actively searching, it just not happening. And I don't want my life to revolve around that, you know? And it's it's a really hard balance because it's like you have one side that's saying, Oh, you'll find it when you're least expecting it, and the other side going, you have to try. And it's like, what I just don't know what to do with that. And so I just don't, is basically what it comes down to.

SPEAKER_00

How did he take you leaving? Like, was he just like in and anybody else, the sons? Did anyone like, oh hey, Lisa, we're gonna miss you?

SPEAKER_02

So I did sign a year-long lease. And when I first looked into leaving, I just looked at my lease and I was like, okay, if I break this, what are the ramifications? And basically, I had to give him 30 days' notice, and there is like a financial fee. And but it wasn't even one month's rent, this fee that I would have to pay. It was like half of a month of rent. And so I was like, worth it, absolutely worth it. I I will be leaving, yes. Um, and so what happened was when I first got the call that my original landlord was selling my home back in October, another best friend of mine and her husband had been working toward getting a job for him overseas. And it's in connection with the military. And they were like, We think this might be happening. You might be able to move into our house, and it'll be great. And this is back in October. Then the government shut down and everything stopped. And uh, and so his job posting, it got put on hold. We don't know if it's happening. If it does, we don't know when it's happening, we don't know when we'll be moving. Um, and so I was like, okay, no problem, like I'll find another place, and that's when I found Housemate Greg. Two weeks after I moved in with Housemate Greg, they get the green light that they're moving overseas. Okay, because that's God loves me, and just he thinks that my life should be an example of a comedic sketch. Okay. And so I'm like, okay, like bye, see you later. I love you. I'll come visit, hopefully. Uh, and so they are moving to Lithuania and they are getting ready to go and all of these things, and she's trying to figure out what she needs to do to shut a house down for the months and months that they're going to be gone. And when I finally had that I need to get out of here kind of week, I called her and I was like, Jess, I have a question to ask you.

SPEAKER_03

And she goes, Do you just want to move in here? And I went, Can I? And she goes, Yes, pack your stuff, come to my house.

SPEAKER_00

Oh my god, Lisa.

SPEAKER_02

And so I was like, Oh my god. I have the best friends, like they all of my friends are have been so supportive and trying to figure out a way to help me. And even in dating, they're like, We wish we knew people, but we don't know any single men. Because I'm at the age, I'm 36 years old. They're married or they're still living in their mom's basements. Like, those are my options. And so I was like, okay. So the next day I went and I talked to housemate Greg and I said, Hey, I uh I want to give you my 30 days notice, but I am going to be moving out. And he goes, What, what? What? This was February 28th. I had moved in December 28th, two months before. And he was like, What do you mean? What's what's what's going on? And I just framed it as I have this great opportunity to go live at my friend's house. They're not going to charge me rent. They just want me to take care of their home while they're overseas, thousands of miles away, and can't take care of their home in any way. Um, and so financially, it's a no-brainer. And so that's kind of what I framed it as for him.

The Moment It Became Too Much

SPEAKER_02

And he was like, Okay, yeah, I can understand that, but that just really sucks for me. And I went, Yep. I mean, and I am a recovering people pleaser. So for me to just say, yep, it does, but I gotta take care of me is a huge step for me.

SPEAKER_04

Yes.

SPEAKER_02

Yes, it does suck for you. I am sorry about that, but I gotta take care of myself first and not worry about if I'm going to upset you or how this affects your life. And I didn't say any of that, but these were like conversations I had in my head because I knew it was going to happen. Like, I have to take care of myself. No one else is going to take care of me. I have to take care of myself. And this is how I'm going to do it. And for the next 30 days, every few days, he would come to me and be like, You want to change your mind? It's not too likely to change your mind. And he like would backhanded, passive aggressive, try to ask me to stay because it would affect him the least. And I would just be like, No, nope, I'm leaving.

SPEAKER_03

Wow.

SPEAKER_02

So he had he posted these rooms on Facebook again because that's where they were before. And I moved out two days ago. I moved out two days ago. And uh for the 30 days as I was packing up and getting ready to leave, uh, no one had contacted him about renting those rooms yet. So I I don't know. And I can't care.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. No, it's not true. He didn't care about the cleaning, so you know Yeah.

SPEAKER_02

You know, that's like his house. Like we want to take care of your house. And uh, but I think for him to cover his mortgage, like he had to have somebody renting these rooms. So I I never talked to him about hiring a house cleaner because at that point I was like, nah, I'm just leaving. Like, I'm not going to constantly beg a person to have just a basic level of cleanliness. I don't know if he's lazy. I don't know if he just doesn't care or is hoping someone else will take care of it, or he's overwhelmed with what he has going on in his life. Like this is just, but it is not, it just became an unlivable situation for me. And so I had to leave and I did. And so now You got your new place. I got my new place.

SPEAKER_00

I am so proud of you. Um, it sounds like he's a frat boy. Um, how old is this guy around?

SPEAKER_02

He's in his mid-40s. And like what's funny is he was very proud of the fact that he would always do the dishes. The dishes were always done. There are never any dishes in the sink.

SPEAKER_03

That was the thing that he took care of. Nothing else.

SPEAKER_00

It's incredible. What what surprised you the most about yourself throughout this experience? Like, if you could look back, I know it wasn't that long, but I mean, 10 year 10 years ago, if someone said, Hey,

Friends, Family, And Internet Reactions

SPEAKER_00

by the way, you're gonna be living with a man and his kids, and you're you probably were like, Hell the fuck no. And here you were doing it. But what surprised you the most?

SPEAKER_02

I think what surprised me the most was just like honestly the mental strength that I had to just make the decisions and just go and just do it. And then when it didn't work, go okay and change it. Uh, because there it there still are some times, but there have been a lot of times when something wouldn't work out and I would just crumble and fall apart and just sob and call my parents and and this situation that did not happen. It was just a okay, let's fix it, that kind of thing. Um and I heard a phrase once, and I use it a lot at school in my classroom, and it is just that everything is figure outable. It might not be easy, it might take a couple of tries, but everything is figure-otable. And I had a really great support system with my friends and my family, and I knew that they would help me. I knew my dad would be here, my mom would be here, like they would both help, and if they could and how they could. Um, and so I knew I would ultimately be okay. I just had to figure out how to get there. And so just the mental strength of me being like, okay, this didn't work, let's change it. Like, I I can do it, and it's scary, but you can do it scared and just keep working toward whatever you have. So that I think that's the thing that I'm most proud of. It's just I just did it.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah. No, it's very commendable. Would you ever do it again?

SPEAKER_03

Which part?

SPEAKER_00

Um, I mean, if we could think about this situation, and I I almost feel like, you know, and not to get too woo-woo, but you did something that you never never would have done. You stuck to a plan, but it almost created that this situation almost created this second opportunity for you in some way, shape, or form. Um, so would you ever move in in a situation like this? Maybe not necessarily housemate Greg and you know, the shit the shit that you had to deal with, but would you ever do it again?

SPEAKER_02

I think I would ask a hell of a lot more questions uh before. And because I lit I asked like zero questions. And I didn't even think of questions that I should ask. Um and so I've had a lot of people be like, didn't you have like house rules? Didn't you have like all of these different things? And I'm like, I don't I've never lived with other people. I don't know. I'm doing my best here. Like I'm just at this point, I'm just flying by the seat of my pants. I'm 36 years old, and this is the most loosey-goosey my life has ever been. It is insane to me. But um, if I would do it again, I mean, I think I would do it again because I knew that I was improving my situation in one way or another. Like I knew I had to move. The choice that I made about where to move was based on finances and what would put me in the best position. And so, and it it did financially. It it helped me quite a bit. And so I I think I would um because it was a move

Leaving The Lease Without Guilt

SPEAKER_02

to get me toward attaining those goals that I've made for myself. Um, but moving twice in three months is not fun. Zero out of ten stars would not recommend.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, I I agree. Um, okay. Well, we're gonna do some rapid fire questions here, okay? I don't want you to think too much about it. Just the first thing that comes to mind. All right. Okay. Um, the hardest adjustment, the man or the kids?

SPEAKER_02

The man. 100%.

SPEAKER_00

Um the weirdest habit you discovered is that he had.

SPEAKER_03

Uh not cleaning. Anything ever.

SPEAKER_02

Ever. Okay. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Um, what's one boundary you wish you had set sooner?

SPEAKER_02

I think uh boundary about like I ended up just taking care of their dog almost exclusively. And so um I think if I had set that boundary that no, I'm not going to just be here whenever you don't feel like coming home.

SPEAKER_03

Um yeah, I think I wish I would have done that.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. What's one word that describes this whole experience?

SPEAKER_03

Educational.

SPEAKER_02

Shit was educational. Okay. I now know what to some of the things that I want to watch out for if and when I ever do find someone that I want to live with. Uh yeah.

SPEAKER_00

Okay, last question. Um, do you wish you could take the dog?

SPEAKER_02

Uh honestly, this is something I so many people, because Dylan was all over my social media because he just followed me around because I was the person that was taking care of him, right? And I was the only person that was there. And everyone was really rooting for Dylan and for me to be able to take care of Dylan. But to be honest, like my cat could not leave one small room because Dylan would attack her. Um, and so I wish Dylan were taken better care of, but I don't wish that I could have brought him with me because I have my own love of Mila that I need to take care of her. The other thing that I did not mention is that when my mom came down to help pack up, um, Dylan actually tried to bite her. And so I had to put him out in the backyard while we were packing the entire time because he tried to bite my mom multiple times. Um, so like he he was very sweet toward me, but like he definitely needs some training and for like someone to take care of him, basically. I had a lot of people reach out and be like, you need to call the Humane Society, you need to call Animal Control. He's not being abused, he's being fed, he's technically fine, he's just not being loved.

SPEAKER_03

Um terrible.

SPEAKER_02

And so that no one's going to come get this dog just because they're not loving him enough, unfortunately. Um so I hope something changes, honestly.

SPEAKER_00

I'm sure I'm wondering if his kids ever find your social media page. Um, so oh I know.

SPEAKER_04

I know. That would be fun. Go for it, guys. I'm out.

SPEAKER_02

Let's just start scrolling. Just go ahead, watch everyone.

SPEAKER_00

Um, one last question for you. Are you surprised by how many people are just loving your content and following you?

SPEAKER_02

Oh my god, yes. I this is insane to me because, like I said, I originally just wanted to hold myself accountable, had some friends following me, totally fine. Um now I let me let me check because people are, yeah, I just I'm at 9,999 followers. I'm one away from 10,000. And I don't understand. I'm just talking at a screen. What? Like, I just and people are invested. And I love that. Like, I've had so many, so many kind people reach out and be like, you've inspired me to start my own plan, like people supporting me, trying to help me, give me suggestions, like do all these different things, and like it has really become uh like this little mini community, and not so many anymore, but like it has become a community of people and of women specifically who we're all just trying to do our best and work toward just a better future for ourselves, uh, and so there's and it ranges people all over the world, people of all ages.

Lessons Learned And Rapid Fire

SPEAKER_02

Um and so it it's it's a lot of fun at the end of the day. It is a lot of fun. I always have then I've got some naysayers, and I'll just block them. And I've kind of made a game out of like figuring out the cleverest response I can get to them. And because I mean I work with teenagers all day long. I live in the land of naysayers, okay? You're good. You got bringing it.

SPEAKER_01

Like, yeah, you can't hurt me. I teach 17-year-olds all day long.

SPEAKER_00

Yeah, you can't hurt me. 100%. 100%. Um, Lisa, this is amazing. Um, I want to let everyone know where they can find you. So, where can we find you?

SPEAKER_02

I am on Instagram. I'm also on TikTok, but mostly Instagram. Um, and I am 35 and 5, all written out. No numbers. And so you can find me there.

SPEAKER_00

Okay. Lisa, thank you so much.

SPEAKER_02

Thank you.

SPEAKER_00

I'm really proud of you. I'm loving everything that you are doing. And I think because you're so honest and you're doing something that we all want and wish we could do is taking those big steps to work towards ourselves. And you have so many people rooting for you. And I love that you created this community of people um helping them. Um, I just think it's amazing. You you intrigued me, and your storytelling is amazing. So I think that's the other part of it. You're really great at telling the story. It's like I'm in a fucked up situation, but we're gonna laugh and have fun with this. And that's exactly how you know you're putting out that information. And I think that's why so many people are just attracted to that. Um, okay, so everyone, before you guys go, make sure you're subscribed to Mom is My Emergency Contact wherever you listen to podcasts, we're on Apple, Spotify, and all major platforms. If you'd rather watch the conversation, head over to our YouTube channel. Just search Mom is My Emergency Contact and hit subscribe so you can see Lisa and I talk and her cat making uh an appearance. And if you want bonus content, because Lisa and I are going to have a little chit chat behind the scenes and updates you don't always have to listen to on the podcast. Come hang out with us on Substack after hours link. It's in the notes for you to subscribe to and all the links in the episode notes, including how to reach to Lisa. How to reach Lisa. What I love about conversations like this is that they remind us that life doesn't follow one script. Sometimes the bravest thing a person can do is make a decision that others don't fully understand because they know it's the right move for their future. Sacrifice isn't always comfortable as we heard, and it's rarely glamorous as we now know, but often it's what creates the foundation for something better later on. And we are so seeing this with Lisa. So, to my guests, thank you for sharing your story and being open about the choices you made and the courage it took to follow through with them. And to everyone listening, sometimes progress looks like risk, discomfort, or doing something unconventional. But these moments of bravery can be the very things that change the direction of your life. Again, thank you, Lisa, and until next time, everyone.