Tertiary Sports
Your sports outsider, outsider sports podcast where two clueless comedians who are outsiders to sports serve up side-splitting hilarity while exploring the wildest and most obscure sports ever invented! From cheese rolling to extreme ironing, join us every Tuesday as we stumble through the sporting world like two uncoordinated penguins on ice. Laughter guaranteed!
Tertiary Sports
Tertiary Sports 2.5-leg it boys we have to ferret! (Ferret Legging)
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In this side-splitting episode of Tertiary Sports, Reed finds pure joy in subjecting Sam to the bizarre and surprisingly painful sport of ferret legging. As Reed shares hilarious anecdotes and testimonials from ferret legging veterans, Sam's incredulity reaches new heights. Tune in to hear his priceless reactions as he grapples with the absurdity life. With Reed's enthusiasm and Sam's skepticism colliding head-on, this episode is a rollercoaster of laughter and astonishment. Don't miss the uproarious banter, the outrageous ferret legging stories, and the unmistakable sound of Sam's sanity slowly unraveling. So, grab your headphones and get ready for a gut-busting journey through the wild and wacky world of ferret legging with Reed and Sam on Tertiary Sports!
Now with video: https://youtu.be/qhbHaAlOSF8
Connect with us:
- Socials: Find us @clambakeincident or @clambakeincidentpodcast on Instagram, Facebook, Twitter, and TikTok.
- Contact: Email us at tertiarysports@gmail.com or give us a call at 207-200-6051.
Tertiary Sports is:
- Reed Bridge-Koenigsberg & Sam Workman performing for you.
- Art by Hailey Mealey.
- Editing and production by Sam Workman.
- Behind the scenes content by Reed Bridge-Koenigsberg.
Our theme music: "Red City Hero" by Big Man. Outro music: "Big Time" by ikoliks.
Until next week, live well & be kind! Cheers!
Weird Sports
Speaker 1Weird SPORTS . Go SPORTS LABOR Slam ball is a full-contact sport .
Speaker 2Now we pump things , find it back in two or we go in a rotation . We can twist .
Speaker 1Welcome , hey folks , welcome to Tertiary Sports , your Tertiary Sports podcast For sports outsiders . Just kidding , my name's Reed , my name's Sam and we are your Outsiders Sports podcast For sports outsiders . We bring you the best and greatest of all of the sports that ESPN can't fucking hang with . That's right . Espn , give us our show back . Espn , give us our show back . You just want our stuff back . Espn , give it back . It's okay , we're not mad , we're just disappointed . Sam , I got a sport for you , do YOU ? You HAVE A FUCKING SPORT FOR ME ? I have , sam . I have like , it's like . It's like , it's a sport . It's like loosely a sport . Oh dear , are you excited ? Oh dear , yeah , it's not nettle eating , is it ? No , I told you it wouldn't be nettle eating . Yet Neither of us will bring that because , like , because we're a feared . Yeah . Well , I'm glad you didn't bring this one either , because I don't know where how we would do it , sam , the year is 19 . Is 2023 . In 1970 .
Speaker 2Whoa , whoa the .
Speaker 1Beatles Houses were affordable . And you say that houses were affordable ? The Beatles disband , breaking the hearts of young girls everywhere . Oh shit , sam , we invade Cambodia , hot , leading to the deaths of hundreds of thousands of people . Very cool , yeah , 100,000 people are protesting the Vietnam War this year alone . Can I join them ? But , sam , luckily the National Guard fires upon unarmed civilians at Kent State , absolutely slaughtering the 60s . What , sam ? Woohoo , america , you got jokes . Sam , you wanna have some funny jokes ? Hey , the world's burning and I'm not gonna sweep .
Speaker 1But Sam , across the pond in a little land called England who has their shit a modicum more together than us at this point it's not doing great . I don't know . Man , as soon as you brought the money back into the politics , they kinda needed to riot some more . Yeah , in a county called Yorkshire Yorkshire , I heard of Yorkshire . It's where Willy Wonk is . True , wonk and Shire , actually , wonk and Shire In a people , sam In a people . Yeah , people are clearly devastatingly bored , sam , I like that . I know exactly where Reed is going to take a sport as soon as he says it's in Britain . We do a lot of , there's a lot of good sports in Britain . We're at Jessam because we're not in Loreton Wales , so we're actually doing better . Also , that's in Wales , yup .
Speaker 2Not Britain .
Speaker 1Not in Yorkshire , so we're doing . One of our English listeners explained the difference to us . It's a county thing . I don't know , it doesn't matter .
Speaker 2Britain . Wait , no , no , no , no , no . The British Isles .
Speaker 1Yeah , wales , but there's some , I will have to look at a map for the first time in many years . Yeah , sam doesn't believe in maps . I have one on my wall . It's a D&D map , it's of Chult . So no , you really don't . Hey , a fantasy map is still a map .
Speaker 1I guess , sam , what do you get ? Okay , good start . What do you get , sam ? What do you cross ? Thick brown beer , oh dear God . Okay , coal miners and ferrets . What the fuck ? What do you get Reed ? What do you what , what , what , what rednecks ? What A little sports . Sam called ferret-legging .
Speaker 2What the fuck Someone sent me this , thank you .
Speaker 1I don't remember who it was , sam . I'm going to go over how it's played , because if it turns out Sam , yeah , pretty simple . Yep In the sport of ferret-legging Okay , yeah , the sport , yeah , competitors Tie their trousers at the ankles . Oh , okay , tie their trousers at the ankles . Oh my God , yeah , fill it . Hey , I have a guess . Yeah , what's the next guess ? Is it fill it with ferrets ?
Speaker 1This is fill it with ferrets . Technically you only need to place two inside , but in my mind that is filled with ferrets . One ferret maybe not filled my pants , two ferrets , absolutely chock-a-block with ferrets . And then you have to securely tighten your belt so the ferrets cannot escape . Yeah , the tracks . Those are most of the rules . There are others . A sportsman can't be drunk . There's hey , there's no fucking way . They aren't , they just- . I think he would just be able to get torn to shreds if you were drunk enough . And Sam , the ferrets also can't get drunk . Or they can't be sedated . But it's funnier in my mind that you're giving these little long rats beer . They're weasels . In addition , sam , yeah .
Speaker 1I know you were asking me . I was Do the ferrets touch your balls ? No , I was asking you if all of the coal miners wore chastity belts to prevent the coal miners from touching their balls . Actually , sam , the rule of thumb is yeah , they can't wear any underwear . It's ferrets all the way down . Baby , who the fuck ? Who the fuck ? What the fuck ? It's a lot happening that year . There's Reed .
Speaker 1We've been through many sports on this podcast . Yeah , many shin kicking . Yeah , fucking cheese rolling , just wild ones that make me go . That's weird , sounds painful . Yeah , never , aside from maybe nettle eating , have I ever looked at a sport and gone . I would get kicked in the balls not to do that . Yeah , so what I ? What I ? When I was like I had the , my first genuine fear on bringing this one in , because I was thinking , if Sam brings this in , we're both fucked , because I don't know where we would get ferrets . We'd find them . We'd have to be promised it to our listeners . Yeah , I'm so glad you didn't . I'm so glad I . I'm so glad I didn't . That's being said , I'd last I don't know three seconds .
Speaker 1I think the grand finale of like when we finally decide . You know , tertiary sports is over forever . It should just be every sport we've ever talked about At once , at once , yeah , but like single aspect of every single one . Okay , so we have to out iron a horse underwater . Well , wearing 30-pound oiled shorts , we're gonna wear an oiled man wrestles us , yeah , covered in ferrets . What's some more ? We've started rolling down a hill there . It's a triathlon actually . Yeah , yeah , I think a deckathlon might be making a cathalon .
Speaker 1Yeah , uh , sam . Yeah , your pants must allow the ferrets free access , oh boy , from quote-unquote , one leg to another . Oh my god , but we know what that implies . So someone out there has they're specific what's the sport called ferret legging ? Someone has ferret legging pants , yeah , where they have explicitly , like Made a cloth barrier where it still allows free access to their balls , but it's like to leg from leg to leg . But they're just like really low and they've got like a single Like layer of cloth that goes all the way up , with just like a ferret hole at the bottom , but they're like hammer pants . Yeah , I think they will keep them just way far away from them , them boys . Uh , sam , the ferrets must have a full set of teeth . Oh my god , they cannot be in any way blunted . Who the fuck . What the fuck is this ? What the fuck ? Why didn't they just call this fucking sport ferret nibbling , yeah , or just , but it's . But it's the turnaround , because they're nibbling on you or get shredded .
Speaker 1I actually say I'm the title of this episode . If episode is uh legged boys , we have to ferret . Oh , fire the game developer . No , just fire him . There's gonna be a name that's gonna come up a lot here and we'll watch a video with him in at the end and I'm gonna need you just to go with it for the first bit . You promise you can do that , bubby .
The Horrors of Ferret Legging
Speaker 1The sport has said sam , to have very little quote-unquote native skill . No shit , what ? Simply an ability to quote-unquote have your tool bitten and not care , which is not a skill I have . I've never seen you at a loss for this long . This is , this is the worst sport . We found it . Yeah , this is the where you're drawing the line here . We found it . Hey , let's , let's , let's pin at minimum two , possibly more ferrets . World's evil little first snakes Into .
Speaker 1Where my balls are pants , where my balls are , where I keep them , where where I keep them . Oh god , this is the worst one . This is the like nettle eating Was close . It was real close , yeah , but this is worse again , sam , aren't you ? This is why I was like Wildly violent or wildly painful is what I think . I said yeah , bruh , the former world champion , which is not a great title , I think he kind of gave it himself reg meller , you know what that tracks is a man who doesn't mind having his tool bitten Many times by small rodents .
Speaker 1He looks exactly Like what you think . Reg meller looks like he's like alive . I don't think he does this anymore , but he doesn't have any children , not ?
Speaker 1or if he did , he did not do this before . Oh my god , hey , sam , do you want the ? The worst part ? I feel like we've already covered it . You'd say that reg meller is credited with institutionalizing the practice of wearing white trousers in ferret legging To better display the blood from the wounds caused by the animals . This is good audio . What the fuck ? He's my hero . I'm what regs me to be my dad . No , hold on , hold on , hold on . Do you want to go take a walk ? Oh my god , no , no , we got to wear wet pants .
Speaker 1I got to see that nut juice . I got to see that . Oh yeah , let them ferrets let out that nut juice . Ferrets really do it . Oh , I got to get it . I got to see it . It's not enough for me to know what's happening . The ferrets really absolutely did a paint job down there and I think that everyone has to be everyone's problem . It's like a van go painting , but with my own blood . Oh yeah , reg miller , yeah , that's me on the Jackson Pollock of nut juice . I hate that . I hate that so much . Never use , never use . I'm not even going to repeat the term . Never use it again .
Speaker 2Oh god damn .
Speaker 1But don't worry , sam , competitors can attempt , from outside of their trousers , to dislodge the ferrets , so you just fucking hold them . What ? No , no , no , just dislodge . They have to be able to run around freely , oh my god . But as the animals can maintain a strong hold for a period of for long periods , their removal can be incredibly difficult , as they've just latched on to your fucking nutsack . This is .
Speaker 1Can women play this sport ? There is a Sam yeah . The next fucking sentence I had Shit , you're not . The ferrets are occasionally put inside the contestant shirts in addition to their trousers , An attempt to introduce a female version of this sport . Where do women have genitals ? We don't know . I can't fucking find them .
Speaker 1They've got them in their pants . Yeah , it is . So it's called ferret busting , which is also the fucking funniest term I've ever heard . Ferret busting is also a good description of ferret legging , oh my god , in which female contestants introduce ferrets into their blouses , which proved immediately unsuccessful . Exactly , that's actually what I
Men's Strange Behaviors
Speaker 1had . I'm like yeah , this is what I have written . It's like well , yeah , yup , shocking guys , are you sure ? There is this strange phenomenon that happens with men , where you just put them all together , usually involves a little bit of alcohol . Oh yeah , this is played at a pub most of the time .
Speaker 1And they just do things to hurt themselves .
Speaker 2And it is just this .
Speaker 1This , everything we've talked about here is the perfect example . Oh my god , this is good . All I'm imagining , all I'm imagining , you know , those two fucking like like pre-possums from like Ice Age . Yes , yeah , yeah , I'm imagining them in someone's trousers .
Speaker 1Uh-huh , it's about it Just going ham Just going fucking ham Hog wild down there . I would say the thing is that ferrets are filled with what I would describe as a dark hunger . Yeah , because they're weasels and all weasels are blood thirsty . This smells terrible , which is not the fucking concern . It's not the issue here . I have some . I have some quotes at some point describing the different people's opinions on ferrets . Okay , Okay .
Speaker 1Can I give you the history ? Yeah , dude , I'm just . This is the first sport that's put me at a total fucking loss . Yeah , it wrote itself , though . Also , donate to Wikipedia . We use it constantly all the time . This was it , just like this and like competitive vaping , wrote itself . I added in some of this and took out some of it , but like the Wikipedia article is just so funny .
Speaker 1God damn , dude , the origin of ferret legging is it's disputed , but I will say it is not highly disputed . It's Reg Miller . Reg Miller has a kink for this and he's the only man in history who's ever found a time machine . This is , in fact , absolutely someone's kink and it's very specific and we might have introduced it to them , to which we need to maybe take a shower , not together . No , dude , have a ball . Never Invite me to your house . Yeah , you fucking weirdo , if you're not hurting anyone else , don't release the ferrets onto anyone else . Work good , you and me , you and me Work good . Not my cup of fucking tea , not his cup of ferrets , not my cup of nuts .
Speaker 1The sport seems to become popular among coal miners in Yorkshire , england , in the 1970s . Disagree , although some Scots claim it gained popularity in Scotland first . Oh , good , I know why . Would you claim that , according to Marlene Blackburn of the Richmond Ferret Rescue League , we just let them up our kilts . Yeah , actually you didn't start from nothing . Good , it just kind of happened . They just went up there and just really just tore that up , like so they ran in the rain , just touted in the park . They're awful Scottish accents . Ferret legging , according to the Richmond Ferret Rescue League , originated in public houses , which are like pubs , yeah , where patrons would bet on who could keep a ferret in his pants longest . So would you nail that earlier ? That tracks . Yeah , that is the only way I could see this sport gaining any prominence With the practice .
Speaker 1Sam , okay , is much , much older , maybe , okay , so the sport , alternatively , may Wait . Does this date back to like the like ? Hey , let's strap a bucket to someone's chest and just see if a rat can eat its way out . Right time , wrong scenario Medieval times , maybe a little bit earlier than that , but yes , catholic churches being a dick inquisition era Gonna narrow it down for me , but yeah , that's fair , that's a pretty wide berth . Yeah , a lot of human history . So it originated during a time where only Let me take you back , okay , we're living here , sam . Okay , let's be real , we're both poor serfs . Yeah , let's be real .
Speaker 1I think I'm mad . Yeah , we're at a time , sam , in a part of history , where only a relatively wealthy few people in England were allowed to own ferrets for hunting . Wait , no , wait , and I haven't looked into it . I don't know what they were hunting with ferrets . I imagine birds or like Deer . It's like a pack ferret . So this was Rich . People went to a pub . No , no , no . Okay , finish your thing first and then I'll give the actual thing . Rich people with their hunting ferrets went down to a pub and said I bet you poor person can't keep this ferret in your trousers . The ferret games . I'll pay you ten farthings or whatever a measurement of the farthings feels good , that could also be depth . I don't fathoms is what I'm . I'll give you twelve hay pennies to bite them . Little nuts . Let me see the ferret to go absolutely wild in your trousers . And then Reg Smith walks in and he's like you want to put on these white pants first .
Speaker 2I gotta see that nut juice .
Speaker 1My name's Reg Miller . Oh Miller , I said Smith . Yeah , I got my name's Reg Miller . I got a pair of white pants . It's nothing to lose . Do you think Reg Miller has made his living off of nut munching ? No , he's a coal miner .
Speaker 2He's a can-matcher-nut munching .
Speaker 1Oh my God , okay , and so same . Actually , when a privileged few were allowed to hunt with ferrets , I guess this would force the people who were the serfs like us , who were , I guess , poaching with ferrets , to , when the groundskeeper came by , shove them in their pants . This is still the worst thing , but at least I have a reason . That's like a good , like colloquial story reason . I don't know if I buy it as like a direct line to this game , but maybe this was some dude sitting there years later after this had started been going , and he's like oh , it has to make sense . Oh , yeah , my um , it has to make sense . Yeah , it actually might .
Speaker 2My uncle . It has to make sense .
Speaker 1My uncle , he used to poach with ferrets and would never blink . It has to make sense . We have to be doing this for a reason . I've been doing this for years . Yeah , and those are the two main things . It's been around for centuries and we've like kind of kept it going Cool . Do you want to talk about records now ? Yeah , sure , Hit me . In 1972 , Sam this is this is . This is psychic damage . You found a way to do psychic damage in real life .
Speaker 1The first couple sentences will be okay , I swear to God . Okay , ferret legging record stood at 40 seconds .
Speaker 2Awful , awful 40 seconds .
Speaker 1Awful . How long did Reg Miller last ? A few years later , the record rose to over one minute . In 1977 , Edward Skimpton from the Isles of White set a new record , Sam , of five hours and 10 minutes Just most of a day . That's why we call him Screamin' Ed . This is I want to meet this man's relatives . I want to look , I want to look his children in the eye and I want to say you're proud . Is this the man that raised you ? What was that like ? What was that like ? He screamed a lot , not at us , just in general , whenever he sat down . Sam , there's , there's actually some things in here where that actually technically doesn't count as one of the world records anymore . What the fuck .
Speaker 1Although he only had one ferret in his pants for the first four hours , and so technically , his record he got this motherfucker got four hours and then decided Into not munching , and decided that and was like , oh , oh , this is so enjoyable , I think I'll add another . So , yeah , halfway through I got like more than halfway there he's like more , more . So there's the one , the quote that I didn't get the exact quote , but Simkin sustained two large bites during his record-breaking attempt , but continued to play a game of darts undeterred , which is , I imagine Can you imagine , can you oh , my god , you're in that bar . Yeah , of course I am . You're in that bar . You know this guy , you know this man that you're talking to what's his name .
Speaker 1Edmund , ed , ed , edward , screaming Ed , as we call him Twitchy Ed . You know , you know , twitchy Eddy . He's playing darts right now . He has ferrets in his pants and has for the last four hours . You watch him take a shot , throw another ferret , grab another ferret from somewhere , put that into his pants , cinch his belt , pick up a dart and your buddy , your buddy Franklin , your best friend in the world , is standing two feet to the right of that dartboard . What do you do ? Because you know he's gonna get bit- , you know he's gonna miss . I hate to say it . I have to let history happen . That's a canon moment , holy shit . Yeah , no , you just and you see Twitchy Ed Twitch , and it just launches that dart right into my friend's neck . Fun fact though , that's actually how Franklin lost his nuts , but Ed kept them . Yeah , ed also kept both pairs . I think there was at some point I read something about him winning that game of darts , which must feel really bad for the dude that had absolutely zero ferrets in his pants . Yeah , okay , sam . That's the first record-breaking attempt . It's controversial because he only had two ferrets for like an hour and a half , which is still an hour and a half . Oh , no , reti okay , sam .
Speaker 1And here's when a goliath of the sport walks in . This is our sea biscuit , sam . This is Reg Miller . This is our Michael Phelps . This is Reg Miller , retired coalmiter from Yorkshire . I'm sorry , he's from Barnsley . You know what I said I wanted to meet Ed's Twitchy Ed's kids . I don't think I want to meet Reg Miller's kids . He set a new world record , sam . With two ferrets 64 hours , five hours , 26 minutes in 1981 . Fucking atrocious . But I thought this was I thought this man was going to come in and fucking just trash the record . Just , absolutely monster . But apparently , sam , he has practiced this sport since he was a youth . I got a question For Reg Miller why , why ? Yeah , yeah , hey , reg , you didn't got to do that . Hey , there's other sports buddy . There's soccer .
Speaker 2It's popular over there they call it football .
Speaker 1Yeah , you can kick a ball . I know you're into this , but like you don't got to Meller , who had hunted with ferrets , which I guess is something people do they're basically tiny foxes . I guess Meller , who had hunted with ferrets in the dales outside of Barnsley for many years , had grown accustomed to keeping them in his trousers to keep them warm and dry when out working in the rain . It was his trick to ensure the ferrets were well fed before they were inserted into his trousers . You're telling me , motherfuckers put hungry ferrets in their nuts and Sam , I haven't even- . Now you gotta give them a little snack before . Yeah , but after five hours , dude , they're gonna get hungry again . After five hours I'm hungry again and I'm not a ferret . That's what you keep saying .
Speaker 1Do you want to get to the single best fucking part of the story . What the fuck is this sport ? In 1986 , miller attempted to break his own record before a crowd of 2,500 spectators , intending to beat the magic six hour mark For the four minute the quote unquote the four minute mile of ferret legging . After five hours , sam , most of the attendees became bored and left . Yeah , no shit . Workmen arrived Just a dude standing in a stadium going like Just like fucking a Just ripping ferrets off his nuts . Workmen arrived to dismantle the stage despite Miller's protests that he was on his way to a new record .
Speaker 1According to Adrian Tame of the Sunday Herald , miller retired after this experience . Quote unquote disillusioned and brokenhearted , did he make six hours , but with his dignity and manhood intact ? Bullshit , bullshit . Yeah , I don't think they mean his physical manhood . No , because that isn't tatters , it's a beaded curtain down there . Oh man , just Arby's down there . Awful . Miller had hoped to organize an annual national competition to be held in his hometown of Barnsley and offered a prize of 100 pounds to anyone who could beat him . Don't hey , pro tip , you don't gotta Don't take that . There's better ways to make 100 pounds . Go to work , go Shovel shit , go whip your back for an hour , for 100 pounds For a pervert .
Speaker 1I don't care , dude , don't put two ferrets on your nuts . Don't put two ferrets on don't put that one down there . Don't do it .
Speaker 2You don't want to be down there .
Speaker 1They don't want to be down there . You don't want them to be down there . Unless that is explicitly your thing , do literally anything else . Go compete in saw , which you're basically You're just doing saw .
Speaker 1Yeah , you're doing saw , but for way less payout . Is there a payout in saw ? I've never seen saw . I don't think you I think you live- . Nah , okay , is the payoff in saw ? Kinda same with ferret liking , sam , this is or maybe not , because the fucking bites get infected after six hours . Yeah , I think you gotta clean it pretty good down there , sam . It's not as popular as it once was , no , but it still happens occasionally , who Ferret rescue leagues put on ferret legging competitions in the US , Canada and the .
Speaker 1UK Also fun fact there are ferret rescue leagues . I am all . I am all for animal rescue leagues . Get rid of the ones that do ferret legging . Burn them to the ground . Eliminate this cancer . Pita got involved at some point . I didn't write this down Pita got involved , but Pita got involved .
Speaker 1The one time I'm rooting for Pita here . So they got involved . But the ones in America are different because there are almost always no injuries , which is funnier to me , because it means that the ones in England didn't need to have injuries . Wait , wait , it's just who can have ferret sleep 20 hours a day ? And so they just like give the ferrets a big snack and just let them hang out in their pants and no one gets hurt . So I don't know what they're doing in the UK to piss off these ferrets . Oh my God . First off , I take back what I said about animal refuge leagues If the ferrets can sleep first off , still weird , don't ?
Speaker 2do it Animal refuge league .
Speaker 1You don't gotta do that . But if they can just sleep through , yeah yeah , I don't know why they're not doing that in the UK . I mean , I think it made me . Reg miller is just looking at my nuts God , special shock pants . There was this quote there . It was just . It was just like someone being like the worst thing you've ever brought me read .
Speaker 1I know I wrote this a couple of nights ago and I was just giggling to myself . And then there was this moment of true fear where I'm like , if Sam brings this , we're fucked , we're in trouble , sam . There's a quote in here . I didn't write it down but it was basically someone from like a ferret rescue league saying like they're just like playful , fun little animals , they're just fun little string beans . And then reg miller is like . I have seen them kill chickens five times their size . I have seen them cannibalize . It makes notice . They are death incarnate . They are ferrets .
Speaker 2So would you ?
Speaker 1like to see reg miller ? You must respect the dragons . They are the fur dragons and they belong in the trousers . Sam , would you like to see reg miller ? I have a video of him . Yeah , don't worry , he puts ferrets in his pants . Like in this video yeah , in this video , in those pants he's wearing right now , he also has a shed full of he's smoking a cigarette , like a cigarette , oh I shoving ferrets in his pants , he also has a ton of ferrets .
Speaker 1Go figure , someone who likes to have his nuts bit by ferrets doesn't need to need some high .
Speaker 2He needs to supply a ferret , pick your own . Well , you're the expert , you pick them you pick them . So what you want ? Well , those two at the front . Oh my God , yes .
Speaker 1Which other ?
Speaker 2It's a fit looking creature . Oh that brownish one as well that brownish . Yes , you want him right down . Well , just according to . Motherfucker . Well , you can't seem to go right down , right down the bottom . I just put them right inside . You can't . No half measures here .
Speaker 1Why don't ?
Speaker 2you come out of the other side . That is the face of an excited man .
Speaker 1Well , he's living his dream .
Speaker 2This is a he's like a , that's me . Hey , look , it's me . Well , I do it to wrestler . And how long can you keep a ferret down your trousers ? How long ? Yes , you've got the world record , haven't you ? Yeah , how long 5,023 minutes on a fischl and a brokage . Official 5,023 out of 6 minutes . What is going on inside your trousers ? They're not around .
Speaker 1Do they ever fight ?
Speaker 2Yeah , Well , that may be a silly question . They are funny little animals . They fight so hard and hurt you . Why do you do it ? Well , that says it's a challenge . I mean , have people been doing this for a long time in Bosnia ? I have , but you issued a challenge . Did anybody else take it out ? No , they took it out . They were three technicals and the chronic loppers got them challenges . They were going to sponsor it . You see , A chap was going to do it for the chronic loppers .
Speaker 1Hang on , your face is coming out again Now .
Speaker 2It's fell through . Oh , those of them are coming out . What do you say ? It's a challenge , it's fell through . You see , how do you keep them down ? I mean , they're poking out all the time . Well , you have your trousers . Well , you've got to fasten up a bit tighter , don't you ? Because they're going to get away .
Speaker 1Oh , they won't get away . It's great , because I don't understand a single fucking word he's saying .
Speaker 2This man has one of two things .
Speaker 1He is either unafraid to face God or an extreme sexual deviant .
Speaker 2That they have wide . You know , I think he's bold . Oh yeah , you could be bold . It was at this point that we had to abandon filming . One of the ferrets had sunk its teeth into a tender part of his anatomy and refused to let go . Mr Mellor gritted his own teeth , administered medication and said , yes , he'd had worse before . In the fast-moving sport of ferret-legging , such injuries are commonplace . Now , after a fitness test , though , the uncrowned king of the ferret-leggers hopes to be back in the game within days .
Speaker 1Yeah , because you put the ferrets next to your nuts . That's Reg Miller , a man not afraid of God or ferrets , sam . And that's your introduction to the world of ferret-legging . Next week , toothpicks under your toenails , kicking a wall it's a challenge , guys . What the fuck , what the actual fuck ? Anyway , my name's Reed , my name is Sam . Maybe the world doesn't make sense anymore . And this has been your introduction to the world of ferret legging . We hope you didn't enjoy that as much as we didn't .
Speaker 2I had a fucking excellent time .
Speaker 1I had a great time . I broke a man at a very primal part of his existence , and until next time , my name is Reed , I'm Sam and we'll see you in the shower . The ferret free showers , the ferret free showers . So you're saying that I shouldn't go get the bucket of ferrets ?
Speaker 2I have no .
Speaker 1Smooches Fucking what the fuck ? Thanks for listening to our Shierry Sports . If you had a good time with us , share us with a friend . Give us a five star review on one of your favorite podcasting platforms . You can also find our socials at ClanBake Incident at whatever platform Instagram , tiktok , twitter , etc . This show was co-created by Reed Bridge Koningsberg and myself , sam Workman . We'll see you next Tuesday and be well and stay kind , okay .
Speaker 2Hold up .
Speaker 1Hey everyone , my name is Reed . Hey everyone , my name is Reed . Hey Everyone , I'm Reed , the new Willy Wonka . This is Sam . He's my dumpa-gumpa . He keeps making chocolate . I don't want him to , he just keeps doing it . He only wants chocolate .
Speaker 2I don't want you chocolate .
Speaker 1I really want to see Redneck like like everyone , Like Willy Wonka is like an old prospector and it's just a bunch of fucking like regular ass dwarves in the in a mine . These are my wonderful dumpa-gumpas . I don't pay them , they just love to work , but it's like done in like a gray garden style .
Speaker 2Exactly .
Speaker 1That's . Have you watched Grey Gardens yet or do you just reference it ? I'm just referencing it without seeing it . You , son of a bitch , fuck you . I guess it's because I've explained the entire movie to you . Yeah , pretty much , it's good . Anyway , you should watch Grey Gardens . I'll watch Grey Gardens . Anyway , really , two boys out there , liquid Québécuses and I'll see you back .
