Approach Me

Most of us want to be kind, but the moment we meet someone with a disability, we tense up and overthink every word. We sit down with Barrett to name that discomfort out loud and replace it with something better: simple, respectful curiosity. We talk about what it’s like when people approach a wheelchair user like they’re solving a problem instead of meeting a person, and why “just ask” is often the most inclusive move you can make.

Barrett shares stories from his first big break working at ScareWinds, including the behind the scenes reality of accommodations, safety, and the constant pressure to not be judged through the lens of disability. He explains how assistive technology can fail unexpectedly, what that fear feels like in public and at work, and why inclusive workplaces and communities have to plan for real life instead of ideal scenarios. We also get into everyday ableism that shows up as “help,” like being handed a to go cup without anyone asking what he prefers, and how small assumptions can quietly take away dignity.

From there, we zoom out to the bigger themes: the risk people imagine when they engage with disability, the power of role models, and the importance of a support system you can trust. Barrett talks about confidence, self acceptance, and his desire to connect people to resources while sharing his faith in Jesus Christ. The conversation comes full circle with podcasting, loss, and rebuilding, plus what becomes possible when the right people decide to care. If you’ve ever worried about saying the wrong thing, this one will help you say something real.

Subscribe, share this with someone who wants to be more inclusive, and leave a review so more people can find the show. What’s one assumption you’ve caught yourself making, and what question could you ask instead?

Transcript

Intro And The Journey

SPEAKER_00 0:01

I am the governor of swag. What that means is I love to teach people to become a new art. So enjoy me on my journey. Because today I never know what I get into. But always become a new wire. I hope you enjoy this episode.

SPEAKER_02 0:32

I'm

ScareWinds And First Big Break

SPEAKER_02 0:33

just gonna just jump right in because one of the stories you told me was it was it scarewinds?

SPEAKER_01 0:38

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 0:39

And you said about when people would approach you at scarewinds, you said some people don't know how to approach you, they don't know what to say, they don't know what to do, right? So talk to us about that. When somebody saw you at scarewinds, now you were dressed up, so you got to tell us about the story, but when somebody would see you dressed up and approach you, because you were working there, yeah, what what was happening?

SPEAKER_00 1:05

Well, honestly, you know, a lot of things were happening at that time. Um that was my first job, my first big break, and everything else. Um, you know, I had to figure out what my accommodations were, what my accommodations were, what I couldn't couldn't, could not do, what I had to do to protect myself, what I also had to do to um make sure I was protected and good and you know everything else, but the main thing that I liked about that job was I felt like I could be myself and not have the failure of people judging me because I had a disability. And in return, even though I can say this with confidence, because the likely of me getting hired by Stonewind Slim, just because of everything that happened the wrong way. When I first got hired there, I was I was trying to know basically it was my fault if I messed up anything because of my disability and because of the risk I was taking. You know, I wanted to make sure I was I thought I was safe at the time, and the problem of that is you know, you've you signed that the company is not responsible, not responsible for your actions. You think you're good if you mess up, like of course, if I damage anything, the back of my mind was how am I gonna pay for this or do that? You know, what if my civil policy ends up ending up one day and I end up spending for like five or ten minutes? That was in the back of my mind, but um, you know, that was my not my way, but that was in the back of my mind every single time. Can you push these up a little bit? Push up my headphones.

SPEAKER_03 3:27

Oh like this, yeah. Like good?

SPEAKER_00 3:30

Yeah, thank you. Uh that was in the back of my mind. Um in saying that I'm eventually gonna talk about, you know, signal openly, and by the time I tell my story, and you know, I'm eventually gonna paint my face and with different things and tell more of the more of the aspects that I learned down the road, but the problem of that is with that experience, like one time my one of the motors in my chair went bad on me. So

Wheelchair Malfunction And Fear

SPEAKER_00 4:20

people don't know my eyes of chairs have two motor two motors, and when money goes bad, you hear this sputtering noise sputtering noise and all this and that and the other. So um yeah, that that was a big challenge, and one time it got so bad that I ended up crashing into one of the uh gaming, you know, stations. And you talk about I thought I was gonna get fired that day. I was like, yep, I'm doing, you know, I'm gonna get fired because I ended up putting a big hole in inside of it. Luckily they were understanding and it wasn't my fault, it was my chair malfunctioning. Stuff like that is always been in the back of my mind, but you know what's interesting is not only do I have to um let me push it up? Yeah, I gotta tighten these up apparently because they're too loose. Yeah, let me go. Uh do you mind tighten them up so they don't fall down like crazy?

SPEAKER_02 5:38

Yeah, you have to show me how to do that. Oh, just like that. Simple enough. Is that far enough, you think?

SPEAKER_00 5:46

I guess I gotta slide it back.

SPEAKER_02 5:49

Is that good?

SPEAKER_00 5:50

Put it more on my you're on my left side. You're right. Right. Yes here.

SPEAKER_03 5:56

That way.

SPEAKER_00 5:57

Yep. And move the microphone up because it's there we go. Is that good? Yeah, hopefully it'd see better. You're gonna have to edit all this out. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:09

Oh, that's a no. I'm learning. I'm learning. Now

How To Approach Respectfully

SPEAKER_02 6:12

you said you said when you were at scare winds too, and this goes back three years. Somebody asked the questions wrong. Are you ready for me to ask another one? Now you said when people would see you, they don't necessarily know how to approach you. Well, that the boy, you talk about a loaded question, and I'm getting right to it. So if somebody sees you at scare winds and they're like, I don't know how to act, I don't know what to say, I don't know what to do. What would you tell somebody that says, Here's here's how you would approach somebody?

SPEAKER_00 6:42

Well, part of my job was to be scary and was to be, you know, not my typical, you know, outgoing self. And with success is occasionally I would have to pick break character, as I would call it in the business, because the people were terrified, you know, uh in me being in a winter and like a maniac, you know what I mean? So um generally, if I wasn't playing the character, I would say just come up and ask a question. Now I had to protect myself when I was at scale in, so I pretended like I couldn't talk at all.

SPEAKER_02 7:35

Like I would make green noise and be like, you know, you were playing the character, you were in right?

SPEAKER_00 7:43

Yeah, because not many people would take the time to really understand how I was uh saying anyway. So um, you know, and a lot of the times, you know, your job is to be um basically scary and uh funny. You didn't always have to be scary and you know, blah blah, but generally I would say just ask them any old thing. And generally people are not gonna be like me and be open, but you don't know until you ask them. Now, if you see that they're busy, obviously that might not be a good time. Or if you wanna ask if you wanna help somebody or somebody and act like they need help, then just ask before you even jump in. And uh that you know typically gets lost still to this day. I know I said that on the other podcast, but it's it's it's still important and you know what what's mind-boggling to me is people assume and don't ask me. It's

Everyday Assumptions In Public

SPEAKER_00 9:12

just like okay, I drink out of my own cup, I have my own straw, but every time I get an order, depending on what restaurant I am in, you know, and blah blah. They don't even give me a regular glass, but they give me a go cup, and I'm like, really? Now I'm gonna ask you about 20 times to refill my drink, and I'm like, oh it's funny that my caregiver likes the go cups. So I usually give her a night might go cup and then we ask again for a normal glass. It's fine if they give everybody everybody go cups. And some some restaurants are like that. All they have is the go cups, and I'm I'm fine with that, but when they when they assume without asking me, that's what annoys me. Heck out of me.

SPEAKER_02 10:07

And see, this is a great lead-in. Thank you for the way you answer that into what we're what we're doing.

Why We Ask These Questions

SPEAKER_02 10:14

So we met. I want to go back to that. We met, I knew very little about you. And same here, same there, right. Now we know a lot more about one another. So we met in this space where I quite frankly, I didn't know what to say, I didn't know what to ask, I didn't know what to do. Not that I know all those things, but that's how we met. So, what are we gonna do now? We're going to learn more about what life is like through your eyes and what you have experienced and what you see, so that all of us can learn. Because I think when I ask these questions and we share them, everyone listening will learn. And then, guess what? And then you get to learn about through these questions that I ask what I'm thinking, because I'm just gonna say, Hey, you know, hey, Barrett, I'm curious about this. Yeah, tell me what you see, and that's what we're gonna do on this podcast episode with you, and it's gonna be play that self out. And why do we do it? So I'm I'm gonna go back to this. Here's the great thing about relationship we have before I get into the why. It's because I tend to just say, here's what I think, Barrett. Is that right? I'll go, Barrett, and then I'll look at it. Barrett, here's what I think, and I'll look at him. And when I get one something really right, he chuckles, like I mentioned earlier. And or if not, he'll tell me. And that's what we're trying to do here, because we want to say there's an understanding. We're doing this, is why we're doing it. Yeah, understand what life looks like through you your eyes. Have I hit the what we're doing and the why we're doing this, Barrett?

SPEAKER_00 11:59

Yeah, can you move my microphone up again? Yeah, just the microphone itself isn't like that, yeah.

SPEAKER_03 12:06

Is that good?

SPEAKER_00 12:12

Yeah, you hit the nail on the head. Um, what I find uh ironically, I'm getting getting into this in a minute, is not many people want to help people with with this with disabilities because people are generally scared and don't know what to do and they don't take risks anymore. So what what we're doing is showing that no matter where you are, where you come from, you need a little bit of luck, but you also need people that care about people. And not many people care about people anymore. They always worry about numbers and you know, I'm gonna get paid and this and that and the other, but this is where the disability community falls a little bit because not many people want to help other people, even I would go far to say even with people with disabilities, sometimes they get scared of their own kind, you know, and all that I get it to a certain extent.

The Real Risk Of Engaging

SPEAKER_02 13:39

Hey Barrett, uh the risk. Well, we're gonna just jump right in. I see one risk and I'm not gonna mention it yet, but I'll mention it after you answer the question. What is the risk with engaging somebody with a disability? What's the risk?

SPEAKER_00 13:59

Well, uh this is just my personal opinion. The risk is you don't wanna you don't wanna make their make their ways come true. Meaning like, okay this person is what I thought they were. What you wanna do is break down this beers to ask more questions, but I think a lot of people with disabilities are scared that they're gonna see they're gonna see through their true values and look at their disability and not and not really hear what they gotta say. Now, for you that might be a little bit different, but for me, that's only the risk that goes in the back of my mind.

SPEAKER_02 14:53

Okay, let me answer it back and make sure I'm following. So someone with a disability, what the risk to them is if someone digs a little deeper and asks certain questions, they're gonna find out who the real what's behind the disability. Is that what you're saying?

SPEAKER_00 15:10

Um the values, or they're not gonna they're not gonna understand the value. They're not gonna understand the values because they're gonna focus on the disability too much.

SPEAKER_02 15:22

And the risk for the risk for you know, the the uh like me. Yeah, the risk I see is viewing the world a little differently because you're looking at through somebody else's eyes. And that brings a whole that opens a whole nother level of understanding is when you go, tell me what it looks like through your eyes. Another thing that I mentioned is saying is asking or saying something stupid. And the good thing about our relationship is I know I'm gonna say and ask something stupid, and I know that you care enough about me to say, Janie, that was pretty dumb. Or however you're gonna correct me, you're gonna do it in a helpful way. But I I think the risks are not as near as high as people think they are.

SPEAKER_00 16:09

Yeah, and I'm I'm giving you the discipline answers, you know, but people realize, okay, that's me too. But if you can do this, I can do this too. And part of the reason is people sometimes need a follow-where they don't want to they don't want to do something if they don't have a role model. And then you have people that are risk takers like me and be like, screw it, I'm gonna create my own path. So you know, in creating my own pat path, I created my podcast, and now I get a job and now I help be with the you know, with disabilities, not just my own, but other disabilities as well. But I'm gonna go back to the podcast in a minute because it's important to talk about this too.

Support Systems And Self Acceptance

SPEAKER_00 17:19

It's important to have a support system, whether that's your family, your friends, or whoever, because everybody can't do anything on their own. You know, and uh people that think they can do anything on their own. Um okay, why why do you have to hire a finance person? Why do you have to hire somebody to do your taxes? Because we don't have time to do all that and provide for our families too. Now on the disability on the disability side, side of things, we have to rely on more people for basic things, and that includes doing a lot of them, you know. My dream is to help people know what resources are out there, but also share the gospel with Jesus Christ. So, you know, and yes, I might be looking like I'm a creepy guy straining up in the space, can I I know I'm gonna do like I'm my eyes were only in the back of my head, I should learn that brace. Look, because honestly, it bothered me for the longest time. Because I was like, how can I have a you know a normal conversation? But when I'm speaking uh in the heart seat, as I say, my body uh just uh basically says, okay, we're gonna make it look like you're looking into the sky the whole entire time. So it's you know a lot of it's so annoying to me, but that goes back to what I said earlier. If you learn to embrace, you know, yourself, other people will embrace you too. And that goes into my early speaking career as well, as well, because not only did I have to be okay with that and learn that myself, but it took me a while to understand where that comes from, and that came from a lot of insecurities and a lot of challenges and tribulations.

SPEAKER_02 19:58

So you shared a lot of things that opened some questions. Oh, yeah. Do we need to move the headphone? Yeah, you know what, Sarah, if you'll come in, can you say hey? Because she's off the there she is. You'll meet her. We're gonna have her as a podcast guest or on here at one point, right? Her cake, yeah.

SPEAKER_00 20:17

I'm gonna have to come in there, but yeah, yeah, we'll do that.

SPEAKER_02 20:20

So you

Trust Challenges And Restarting The Podcast

SPEAKER_02 20:21

said talk us about talk to us about the trials and tribulations that you you mentioned. Give us I I can't even imagine what they are. That's hard for me to get my head around, but but tell us a few of them.

SPEAKER_00 20:35

Well, I'm gonna tell you a lot of them. Um, because honesty is the best policy I can I can give, you know, somebody that's watching this or listening to this on the base platform that me and you both have um one it was it was trust earlier on in my in my channel and still is to it's fully relying on somebody is still hard for me to do. Not only from a business standpoint, but I always think about okay, if this person builds and what's my backup. And when you don't have a backup, it's it's scary. Especially in the care giving business, or what I call can I hate the word caregiving? So what I call it is I call it personal assistant personal assistant, because I have the word caretaker and blah blah blah. You know, and one of the reasons why I'm starting my own podcast, and the reason why I ended up doing it for a lot of t a lot of years. And the part of the reason why I'm putting it back up is because I had the support when I started it. And I still do. But you know the challenge is of finding the people that are willing to work with you in your you know mission able to able to help you get what you want the world to know about you out there. I'll give you an example um when I first started my podcast it would it was because of you originally that's why this is the full circle moment for me and you um you know it it was um okay I can finally get my voice out I might not be able to do it the way I want to do it originally I might have to rely on a lot of people to get it done and to tell you the truth I did and the reason it fell off because I was dealing with some challenges in my own life and because one you know my best friend died and then everybody got busy around me and then everything just fell apart and that led to now what me and you were starting is basically a partnership to where you know we're gonna create a model and um help other people not go through the same struggle that I went through for all those years. And I'm still dealing with that to this day.

SPEAKER_02 24:01

Talking about bringing the question full circle you just came right back to the why and I was thinking about your why and how and how different um I was being selfish with answering the why when I said learning what life was like through your eyes because that's my side of the why. And your side of the why you just stated is look what's possible sharing the message hearing the struggles that you went through overcoming them. Looking at what's possible make sure you tell me if I'm missing anything showing people what the example is what are the possibilities if you get the right side of kind of support what can you do? That's what I hear you saying.

Closing Message And Contact Info

SPEAKER_00 24:47

A lot of people focus on what they can't do. Thank you for listening to Bad Swing of their podcast I hope this message today inspires you a little more to be confident in who you are and not be ashamed who you are and always carry that inspired by you thank you for listening and I hope you email me on this episode my email is B E A R E T S dot S W H E Y L I F E mail dot com or you can follow me on my social medias Facebook and Instagram just my remember it's there with two Ts and two hours not my email my email has one T and that's the only the only thing that's just thank you and have a great most fabulous trigger day