{"version":"1.0.0","segments":[{"startTime":0.098,"endTime":5.122,"body":"Hey guys, it's your favorite sisters with the confessions of a reluctant caregiver"},{"startTime":0.098,"endTime":5.122,"body":"podcast."},{"startTime":5.122,"endTime":11.587,"body":"On the show, you'll hear caregivers confessing the good, the bad, and the completely"},{"startTime":5.122,"endTime":11.587,"body":"unexpected."},{"startTime":11.587,"endTime":18.893,"body":"You're guaranteed to relate, be inspired, leave with helpful tips and resources, and of"},{"startTime":11.587,"endTime":18.893,"body":"course, laugh."},{"startTime":18.893,"endTime":23.136,"body":"Now, let's jump right in to today's guest confession."},{"startTime":24.057,"endTime":25.719,"body":"Hey, Jay."},{"startTime":25.719,"endTime":27.701,"body":"Why hello, Natalie."},{"startTime":28.384,"endTime":29.909,"body":"Bright-eyed and bushy-tailed."},{"startTime":29.909,"endTime":34.681,"body":"my gosh, I am so excited because do you know where we're at?"},{"startTime":36.002,"endTime":37.453,"body":"No, we're at we have no clue."},{"startTime":37.453,"endTime":38.794,"body":"We're like we don't know where we're at."},{"startTime":38.794,"endTime":41.205,"body":"We are at the PBS."},{"startTime":41.245,"endTime":43.658,"body":"I'm still going to call it Appalachia."},{"startTime":43.658,"endTime":49.309,"body":"it's not correct and we are going to get all kinds of like unfan mail because it is af..."},{"startTime":49.309,"endTime":50.123,"body":"Unfan mail."},{"startTime":50.123,"endTime":51.958,"body":"They're unfanning us."},{"startTime":51.958,"endTime":54.384,"body":"It is I will wave into these people on the escalator."},{"startTime":54.384,"endTime":58.424,"body":"is the is Appalachia PBS Appalachia."},{"startTime":58.424,"endTime":64.379,"body":"We're going to put out a survey to say is it Appalachia or is it Appalachia?"},{"startTime":64.379,"endTime":71.065,"body":"And so I'll tell you where we're from Tennessee and so there's the Museum of Appalachia"},{"startTime":64.379,"endTime":71.065,"body":"and then the Appalachian Mountains."},{"startTime":71.065,"endTime":76.329,"body":"I use it interchangeably so this is not what we're here to talk about this."},{"startTime":77.35,"endTime":79.522,"body":"The con and pecan you're exactly right."},{"startTime":79.522,"endTime":80.993,"body":"Tomato tomato."},{"startTime":81.954,"endTime":84.416,"body":"We should talk about caregiving today."},{"startTime":84.897,"endTime":86.846,"body":"All this is so much fun, I'm excited."},{"startTime":86.846,"endTime":89.228,"body":"I am too because we have a fantastic guest."},{"startTime":89.228,"endTime":91.491,"body":"I've already practiced her last night."},{"startTime":91.491,"endTime":91.992,"body":"Look at me."},{"startTime":91.992,"endTime":93.538,"body":"I'm already on a roll today."},{"startTime":93.538,"endTime":96.645,"body":"We, well, people are like PBS what?"},{"startTime":96.645,"endTime":100.813,"body":"We're in PBS Appalachia."},{"startTime":100.875,"endTime":104.308,"body":"And in my mind, it is Appalachia, isn't it?"},{"startTime":104.308,"endTime":110.894,"body":"This is our actually our first episode in the studio with a guest here in the new studio"},{"startTime":104.308,"endTime":110.894,"body":"and we are super"},{"startTime":110.894,"endTime":112.533,"body":"And we're in the hard rock Bristol."},{"startTime":112.533,"endTime":113.911,"body":"That's what makes it even more fun."},{"startTime":113.911,"endTime":118.228,"body":"they have they have allowed us to be broadcast in the hotel."},{"startTime":118.228,"endTime":119.17,"body":"So Lord help us."},{"startTime":119.17,"endTime":120.613,"body":"Let's let's jump in."},{"startTime":120.613,"endTime":124.714,"body":"OK, we have an amazing guest Allison and I'd love for you to tell everybody about."},{"startTime":124.714,"endTime":128.534,"body":"to give you just a little teaser because Allison is amazing."},{"startTime":128.534,"endTime":129.514,"body":"Yes, I'm going to."},{"startTime":129.514,"endTime":132.114,"body":"I'm going to read you her brief bio that I have prepared."},{"startTime":132.114,"endTime":133.154,"body":"Are you ready?"},{"startTime":134.12,"endTime":135.278,"body":"I'm I'm waiting."},{"startTime":135.278,"endTime":136.492,"body":"I'm sitting here like I'm waiting."},{"startTime":136.492,"endTime":139.043,"body":"I'm gonna tell you how wonderful you are, are you ready?"},{"startTime":139.584,"endTime":143.085,"body":"So today we have Allison Tryert with us."},{"startTime":143.085,"endTime":148.818,"body":"her journey, what I found is that it's not unfamiliar to probably most of our caregivers"},{"startTime":143.085,"endTime":148.818,"body":"now."},{"startTime":148.818,"endTime":156.812,"body":"Her family spent six years searching for an answer to the symptoms that her husband, Evan,"},{"startTime":148.818,"endTime":156.812,"body":"had."},{"startTime":156.812,"endTime":162.208,"body":"And after those six years, he was finally diagnosed with FTD."},{"startTime":162.222,"endTime":164.142,"body":"at the age of 47."},{"startTime":164.402,"endTime":168.922,"body":"And they had two sons at that time, they were 12 and 15."},{"startTime":169.122,"endTime":174.202,"body":"Allison and her family cared at home for Evan, for two years."},{"startTime":174.202,"endTime":179.882,"body":"And afterwards he went through, he was at five different communities as the disease"},{"startTime":174.202,"endTime":179.882,"body":"progressed."},{"startTime":180.802,"endTime":189.076,"body":"All this time, Allison, it seems like you were seeing something of your own, those"},{"startTime":180.802,"endTime":189.076,"body":"experiences led you to something that was."},{"startTime":189.076,"endTime":201.381,"body":"much bigger and that's where you are today which I know we're definitely going to talk"},{"startTime":189.076,"endTime":201.381,"body":"about because we're excited for you to share what you learned during all of this and also"},{"startTime":201.381,"endTime":202.643,"body":"what they can learn from you."},{"startTime":202.643,"endTime":204.185,"body":"So we're excited to have you here today."},{"startTime":204.185,"endTime":205.326,"body":"you."},{"startTime":206.021,"endTime":207.607,"body":"first guest."},{"startTime":208.95,"endTime":210.618,"body":"Thank you so much."},{"startTime":210.618,"endTime":211.54,"body":"happy to be here."},{"startTime":211.54,"endTime":212.471,"body":"Right awesome."},{"startTime":212.471,"endTime":219.254,"body":"So I always like to start off by saying tell me we're gonna we're gonna start from the"},{"startTime":212.471,"endTime":219.254,"body":"beginning."},{"startTime":219.254,"endTime":228.838,"body":"Okay, we want to hear about your story and so we're gonna start from the beginning which"},{"startTime":219.254,"endTime":228.838,"body":"is of course you were born and you're gonna skip to the skip to you know skip to the you"},{"startTime":228.838,"endTime":238.162,"body":"know tell us a little bit about where you're from right so walk us through you know where"},{"startTime":228.838,"endTime":238.162,"body":"you're from how you and your husband met all that kind of good stuff."},{"startTime":239.678,"endTime":240.723,"body":"Alrighty."},{"startTime":240.723,"endTime":245.46,"body":"Well, so I was born a long, long time ago."},{"startTime":245.59,"endTime":247.502,"body":"I'm galaxy far, far away."},{"startTime":247.502,"endTime":249.562,"body":"Yeah, I'm an East Coast gal myself."},{"startTime":249.562,"endTime":252.342,"body":"I was born in New Rochelle, New York."},{"startTime":253.582,"endTime":256.182,"body":"And my husband was born in Providence, Rhode Island."},{"startTime":256.182,"endTime":257.182,"body":"He's a younger guy."},{"startTime":257.182,"endTime":258.242,"body":"I was a cradle robber."},{"startTime":258.242,"endTime":259.462,"body":"He's five years younger than I am."},{"startTime":259.462,"endTime":260.882,"body":"I respect that."},{"startTime":260.882,"endTime":262.662,"body":"Yeah, like that in a woman."},{"startTime":263.462,"endTime":266.322,"body":"So we met out here."},{"startTime":266.322,"endTime":267.122,"body":"Well, out here."},{"startTime":267.122,"endTime":268.942,"body":"We met on the West Coast."},{"startTime":270.382,"endTime":274.942,"body":"gosh, we had one of those sort of fairy tale kind of romances."},{"startTime":274.942,"endTime":276.022,"body":"mean, I..."},{"startTime":276.022,"endTime":284.649,"body":"was 35 when I got married and I maintain that it took me that long to find a guy that I"},{"startTime":276.022,"endTime":284.649,"body":"didn't want to change."},{"startTime":284.649,"endTime":292.155,"body":"I just wanted him to stay exactly, he was like the only guy I'd met who I, there was not"},{"startTime":284.649,"endTime":292.155,"body":"one thing that I thought, gosh, if only this was different."},{"startTime":292.155,"endTime":304.985,"body":"I just adored him and he was sweet and generous and kind and loving and we were drawn"},{"startTime":292.155,"endTime":304.985,"body":"together by love of the outdoors, that's why we both moved to the Seattle area."},{"startTime":305.39,"endTime":311.862,"body":"So yeah, courtship was all about hiking and kayaking and skiing and mountain biking and"},{"startTime":305.39,"endTime":311.862,"body":"doing all of the things that we"},{"startTime":311.862,"endTime":312.362,"body":"love to do."},{"startTime":312.362,"endTime":314.062,"body":"Oh you're like super active."},{"startTime":314.062,"endTime":315.302,"body":"Super, super active."},{"startTime":315.302,"endTime":315.942,"body":"I love that."},{"startTime":315.942,"endTime":317.162,"body":"That's really cool."},{"startTime":317.162,"endTime":320.842,"body":"OK, so you guys, you're 35."},{"startTime":321.342,"endTime":326.382,"body":"You guys get married and decide to have kids."},{"startTime":326.922,"endTime":329.842,"body":"And so it's kind of like, and then what happens?"},{"startTime":329.842,"endTime":331.282,"body":"Tell us about life."},{"startTime":331.282,"endTime":334.142,"body":"Like, kind of walk us through life as it's happening."},{"startTime":334.142,"endTime":335.042,"body":"know what I mean?"},{"startTime":335.084,"endTime":336.824,"body":"Yeah, sure."},{"startTime":336.824,"endTime":347.484,"body":"So life at that time was pretty, I thought it was perfect because we we lived in a"},{"startTime":336.824,"endTime":347.484,"body":"beautiful house."},{"startTime":347.484,"endTime":353.309,"body":"had two boys, two little guys, lived in a house that I just really adored."},{"startTime":353.309,"endTime":356.892,"body":"And the house came with a dog who was the same color as the carpets."},{"startTime":356.892,"endTime":359.039,"body":"And I thought, man, I just don't think it gets better than"},{"startTime":359.039,"endTime":362.568,"body":"my gosh, that's terribly convenient from a hair standpoint."},{"startTime":362.568,"endTime":365.695,"body":"Tell me how what you've got two sons."},{"startTime":365.757,"endTime":366.308,"body":"What's there?"},{"startTime":366.308,"endTime":368.192,"body":"What's what's the age difference?"},{"startTime":368.366,"endTime":372.544,"body":"Two sons, so they're two and a half years apart from each other."},{"startTime":372.544,"endTime":373.836,"body":"I love that."},{"startTime":373.999,"endTime":375.784,"body":"I love that we're all two years apart."},{"startTime":375.784,"endTime":377.837,"body":"The sisters and I are all two years apart."},{"startTime":377.837,"endTime":378.71,"body":"that's so nice."},{"startTime":378.71,"endTime":380.997,"body":"My sister and I are 11 months apart."},{"startTime":381.442,"endTime":383.322,"body":"Okay, then your Irish there."},{"startTime":383.322,"endTime":384.74,"body":"What is the Irish twins?"},{"startTime":384.74,"endTime":385.591,"body":"that."},{"startTime":386.094,"endTime":389.781,"body":"That is that the all important question that we have to ask you, Allison."},{"startTime":389.781,"endTime":391.054,"body":"What is the birth order?"},{"startTime":391.054,"endTime":392.325,"body":"So are you?"},{"startTime":392.647,"endTime":393.378,"body":"Where are you?"},{"startTime":393.378,"endTime":394.349,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":396.066,"endTime":397.547,"body":"Number two."},{"startTime":398.748,"endTime":399.619,"body":"so you're two or four."},{"startTime":399.619,"endTime":403.172,"body":"So you're technically a middle child, which is clearly why you align with me."},{"startTime":405.534,"endTime":406.955,"body":"We're always been yellow mustard."},{"startTime":406.955,"endTime":408.416,"body":"We're just used to it."},{"startTime":409.077,"endTime":413.281,"body":"So OK, so you have the boys and life is going good."},{"startTime":413.281,"endTime":416.183,"body":"Now tell me what are you and your husband do professionally at the time?"},{"startTime":416.183,"endTime":420.457,"body":"Like kind of like give me a little paint a picture so that people because right now you're"},{"startTime":416.183,"endTime":420.457,"body":"super outdoorsy."},{"startTime":420.457,"endTime":424.84,"body":"You've got two great boys and what do you guys do professionally?"},{"startTime":424.95,"endTime":427.611,"body":"Yeah, so my husband was a software engineer."},{"startTime":428.252,"endTime":430.453,"body":"He worked at Microsoft."},{"startTime":430.614,"endTime":432.675,"body":"He went there straight out of college."},{"startTime":432.675,"endTime":435.396,"body":"And I also worked in the tech industry."},{"startTime":435.396,"endTime":441.48,"body":"So we met through friends who connected us through the software world."},{"startTime":442.14,"endTime":450.167,"body":"And I left my job to be a full-time mom, which was something that I didn't think I had in"},{"startTime":442.14,"endTime":450.167,"body":"me, but I did."},{"startTime":450.167,"endTime":451.602,"body":"I really liked it."},{"startTime":451.602,"endTime":452.083,"body":"no kidding."},{"startTime":452.083,"endTime":452.903,"body":"I love that."},{"startTime":452.903,"endTime":455.485,"body":"And it's great that you were able to do that."},{"startTime":455.485,"endTime":456.396,"body":"You know what I mean?"},{"startTime":456.396,"endTime":458.017,"body":"Like not everybody's able to do that."},{"startTime":458.017,"endTime":460.349,"body":"And if that's something that you want, that's a priority."},{"startTime":460.349,"endTime":465.792,"body":"Let me ask you this, because we didn't talk as much about like your childhood, which is"},{"startTime":460.349,"endTime":465.792,"body":"totally fine."},{"startTime":465.792,"endTime":474.789,"body":"Had you had any bouts of care before ultimately your husband getting diagnosed and"},{"startTime":465.792,"endTime":474.789,"body":"problems starting?"},{"startTime":474.789,"endTime":479.707,"body":"Had you helped with caregiving for, you know, did parents come into play at that point?"},{"startTime":479.707,"endTime":481.844,"body":"or anyone like that."},{"startTime":482.83,"endTime":484.011,"body":"Excuse me."},{"startTime":485.212,"endTime":488.494,"body":"I had no experience as a caregiver, if that's what you're asking."},{"startTime":488.494,"endTime":489.254,"body":"Yes."},{"startTime":489.595,"endTime":494.719,"body":"You know, when I was 16, my grandmother moved in with us, but she was pretty"},{"startTime":489.595,"endTime":494.719,"body":"self-sufficient."},{"startTime":494.719,"endTime":502.174,"body":"so I, aside from being forced to babysit my younger sister from time to time."},{"startTime":502.174,"endTime":503.154,"body":"that's good Yes, it does."},{"startTime":503.154,"endTime":504.606,"body":"You know how those younger sisters are."},{"startTime":504.606,"endTime":505.606,"body":"Exactly."},{"startTime":506.026,"endTime":506.366,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":506.366,"endTime":514.553,"body":"So I had no experience aside from then being a mom, right, and doing all of the things"},{"startTime":506.366,"endTime":514.553,"body":"that came with being a mom."},{"startTime":514.553,"endTime":523.46,"body":"Now, I will say that my older son was diagnosed in first grade as having Asperger's."},{"startTime":523.46,"endTime":524.221,"body":"OK."},{"startTime":524.221,"endTime":524.651,"body":"OK."},{"startTime":524.651,"endTime":530.445,"body":"And so he was kind of a he was he was a kid who required a gentle touch."},{"startTime":530.506,"endTime":535.832,"body":"And so it required early on that I figure out like, wow,"},{"startTime":535.832,"endTime":542.084,"body":"How do you be incredibly patient with a person who is difficult to be with?"},{"startTime":542.084,"endTime":549.426,"body":"And how do you avoid trying to be overly logical with a creature that's incapable of"},{"startTime":542.084,"endTime":549.426,"body":"logic?"},{"startTime":549.426,"endTime":558.029,"body":"And so I think that some of the experiences that I had caring for a special needs child"},{"startTime":549.426,"endTime":558.029,"body":"absolutely set up my temperament, I think."},{"startTime":558.029,"endTime":562.712,"body":"don't want to have there at all say that there are equivalencies between"},{"startTime":562.712,"endTime":566.164,"body":"caring for a high needs child and caring for a person with dementia."},{"startTime":566.164,"endTime":577.892,"body":"But there are temperamental requirements that either make it a more difficult or an easier"},{"startTime":566.164,"endTime":577.892,"body":"thing for you to kind of hang on to."},{"startTime":577.892,"endTime":581.036,"body":"And so I think that having that experience was really beneficial."},{"startTime":581.036,"endTime":589.183,"body":"You know, I will say this though, in the eyes of like as people are defining who"},{"startTime":581.036,"endTime":589.183,"body":"caregivers are, which is this huge broad stroke."},{"startTime":589.183,"endTime":593.766,"body":"If you think about it, you really were a caregiver in that sense."},{"startTime":593.766,"endTime":602.644,"body":"You were a mom and a caregiver and even I appreciate you talking about like temperamental"},{"startTime":593.766,"endTime":602.644,"body":"in the sense of really helping you to hone in on patients."},{"startTime":602.644,"endTime":605.506,"body":"And honestly, it's more of approach that is different."},{"startTime":605.506,"endTime":610.606,"body":"Like I'm going to approach this individual differently, regardless of it was your husband."},{"startTime":610.606,"endTime":613.206,"body":"you know your son, your loved one."},{"startTime":613.206,"endTime":614.526,"body":"It didn't matter."},{"startTime":614.625,"endTime":622.746,"body":"so you, because you also if he had if he was on the spectrum, you also had to manage"},{"startTime":614.625,"endTime":622.746,"body":"navigating schools."},{"startTime":622.746,"endTime":624.446,"body":"You had to navigate appointments."},{"startTime":624.446,"endTime":625.146,"body":"You had to navigate."},{"startTime":625.146,"endTime":635.066,"body":"And so I think that's why they talk about parents of children who have differing abilities"},{"startTime":625.146,"endTime":635.066,"body":"or significant illnesses and things like that."},{"startTime":635.066,"endTime":637.89,"body":"Even though their parents, they also really code."},{"startTime":637.89,"endTime":649.796,"body":"they co-labeled that with caregiving because you're doing so much more typically than a"},{"startTime":637.89,"endTime":649.796,"body":"traditional, your traditional parenting responsibilities."},{"startTime":649.796,"endTime":651.376,"body":"It's more would say that's."},{"startTime":651.376,"endTime":651.696,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":651.696,"endTime":652.517,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":652.517,"endTime":653.637,"body":"So that really helped."},{"startTime":653.637,"endTime":654.078,"body":"Go ahead, Jay."},{"startTime":654.078,"endTime":654.418,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":654.418,"endTime":655.278,"body":"So."},{"startTime":656.078,"endTime":666.907,"body":"I was intrigued when I read the information because I saw that it took six years to get to"},{"startTime":656.078,"endTime":666.907,"body":"what it looked like, six years to really get to what I call an answer."},{"startTime":666.907,"endTime":671.951,"body":"And I know with our mom, it took four of kind of chasing."},{"startTime":671.951,"endTime":678.466,"body":"that, tell us about where it kind of started to get to an answer."},{"startTime":678.466,"endTime":681.232,"body":"Because I saw like, okay, were doctor's appointments, special."},{"startTime":681.232,"endTime":682.405,"body":"did you first start?"},{"startTime":682.405,"endTime":684.121,"body":"Where did you first start seeing things?"},{"startTime":684.121,"endTime":684.62,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":684.62,"endTime":685.652,"body":"You know, I can..."},{"startTime":685.652,"endTime":695.97,"body":"Of course, like everybody who ultimately has somebody with brain changes, you can go way"},{"startTime":685.652,"endTime":695.97,"body":"back and say, my gosh, I think that that was actually the dementia starting to brew."},{"startTime":696.511,"endTime":701.595,"body":"it goes all the way back to my pregnancy with my second child."},{"startTime":702.156,"endTime":707.2,"body":"with my first child, my husband was incredibly present."},{"startTime":707.2,"endTime":711.303,"body":"So he was the guy who came to every single one of my doctor's appointments."},{"startTime":711.303,"endTime":712.854,"body":"He watched what I ate."},{"startTime":712.854,"endTime":714.946,"body":"He prepared foods for me."},{"startTime":715.314,"endTime":717.655,"body":"He gave up drinking in solidarity, right?"},{"startTime":717.655,"endTime":721.274,"body":"So he wanted to be completely like fully on board the whole time."},{"startTime":721.274,"endTime":727.757,"body":"When I was pregnant with my second son and I suggested that my like, Hey, guess what?"},{"startTime":727.757,"endTime":729.448,"body":"We have our first doctor's appointment."},{"startTime":729.448,"endTime":730.738,"body":"He was like, we?"},{"startTime":731.257,"endTime":732.006,"body":"And I said, yeah."},{"startTime":732.006,"endTime":733.189,"body":"And he said, I don't need to do that."},{"startTime":733.189,"endTime":734.599,"body":"I've already done that."},{"startTime":735.68,"endTime":736.14,"body":"okay."},{"startTime":736.14,"endTime":736.837,"body":"That's interesting."},{"startTime":736.837,"endTime":740.961,"body":"then as far as the drinking thing goes, he was like, I don't see why we should both need"},{"startTime":736.837,"endTime":740.961,"body":"to suffer."},{"startTime":740.961,"endTime":745.292,"body":"So already I thought, that's"},{"startTime":745.566,"endTime":746.597,"body":"Like, what is that?"},{"startTime":746.597,"endTime":756.625,"body":"Because he's usually, my sense of him has always been somebody who is just over the top,"},{"startTime":746.597,"endTime":756.625,"body":"kind and generous and thoughtful."},{"startTime":756.625,"endTime":764.101,"body":"And he's starting to kind of pull back a little bit and starting to be sort of more"},{"startTime":756.625,"endTime":764.101,"body":"interested in what he needs than what I need."},{"startTime":764.642,"endTime":767.144,"body":"that was big."},{"startTime":767.144,"endTime":774.658,"body":"And so that is the trajectory that we were on then for a long time where things kept going"},{"startTime":767.144,"endTime":774.658,"body":"down that path."},{"startTime":774.658,"endTime":778.58,"body":"He would make decisions that were like big family decisions."},{"startTime":778.58,"endTime":783.223,"body":"Like, I'm going to go to graduate school and quit my job at Microsoft."},{"startTime":783.223,"endTime":787.756,"body":"like, wow, some people think the wife would be a part of that conversation."},{"startTime":787.756,"endTime":790.814,"body":"So wait, let me ask you real quick, because I'm a total interrupting cow."},{"startTime":790.814,"endTime":793.991,"body":"How old how old were you guys at that time?"},{"startTime":793.991,"endTime":797.738,"body":"How old was he when you first started seeing that behavior change?"},{"startTime":797.738,"endTime":801.677,"body":"on Eli if I was, so he was like 32."},{"startTime":801.677,"endTime":803.575,"body":"my gosh, he was young."},{"startTime":803.874,"endTime":804.584,"body":"He was young."},{"startTime":804.584,"endTime":805.375,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":805.375,"endTime":806.355,"body":"Wow."},{"startTime":806.355,"endTime":807.616,"body":"Which is why, right?"},{"startTime":807.616,"endTime":816.88,"body":"So then as time goes on, so here you are, you're a young mom, you've got these two little"},{"startTime":807.616,"endTime":816.88,"body":"kids, and you start thinking like, okay, so maybe this is just the way marriage goes."},{"startTime":816.88,"endTime":820.661,"body":"Like, is it that one person starts to become kind of distant?"},{"startTime":820.661,"endTime":827.024,"body":"Is it that one person seems to suddenly be spending, being less invested in the"},{"startTime":820.661,"endTime":827.024,"body":"relationship?"},{"startTime":827.404,"endTime":831.512,"body":"And so I didn't know whether there was a..."},{"startTime":831.512,"endTime":840.66,"body":"problem with the relationship or is the problem with him or have I done something that has"},{"startTime":831.512,"endTime":840.66,"body":"caused him to respond to me and to the kids in this way?"},{"startTime":840.66,"endTime":843.173,"body":"But it was slow, right?"},{"startTime":843.173,"endTime":845.695,"body":"So it started slowly, like over time."},{"startTime":845.695,"endTime":850.8,"body":"Now what happened for him is that, as I mentioned, he decided to go to graduate school."},{"startTime":850.8,"endTime":853.802,"body":"He wound up being unable to complete that program."},{"startTime":854.903,"endTime":856.805,"body":"he just couldn't stay focused."},{"startTime":856.805,"endTime":857.998,"body":"And so when he was..."},{"startTime":857.998,"endTime":865.538,"body":"when he failed in the completion of that program and he had to drop out, that's when he"},{"startTime":857.998,"endTime":865.538,"body":"was like, wow, I think there might be something wrong with me."},{"startTime":865.538,"endTime":876.558,"body":"And so that was when we started looking in earnest for what could be causing the changes"},{"startTime":865.538,"endTime":876.558,"body":"that are making it harder for him to be himself in the world."},{"startTime":876.558,"endTime":881.806,"body":"And that led us, that was the six year path to a diagnosis."},{"startTime":881.806,"endTime":896.626,"body":"So you started, I mean, we're gonna take a break here in just a sec, but you started, you"},{"startTime":881.806,"endTime":896.626,"body":"noticed with the pregnancy of your second son that you started to see behavior changes and"},{"startTime":896.626,"endTime":897.885,"body":"things that are just a little off."},{"startTime":897.885,"endTime":903.326,"body":"And I really appreciate you sharing about the fact that you're like, it me?"},{"startTime":903.326,"endTime":904.426,"body":"Have I done something wrong?"},{"startTime":904.426,"endTime":908.326,"body":"Because that's typically what we do, especially as women, we're like, did I something"},{"startTime":904.426,"endTime":908.326,"body":"wrong?"},{"startTime":908.326,"endTime":910.082,"body":"Have I not done this or?"},{"startTime":910.082,"endTime":918.514,"body":"And we doubt ourselves and then he, I appreciate you saying, hey, then he all of a sudden"},{"startTime":910.082,"endTime":918.514,"body":"says, hey, I'm gonna go to grad school."},{"startTime":918.514,"endTime":921.407,"body":"And you're like, hey, I'm over here too, a part of the Bill family."},{"startTime":922.307,"endTime":922.667,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":922.667,"endTime":936.023,"body":"Like somebody's gotta, like, and so I could see that being a very interesting"},{"startTime":922.667,"endTime":936.023,"body":"conversation, but it wasn't at until that he was unable to complete the graduate program"},{"startTime":936.023,"endTime":938.152,"body":"that he said, time out."},{"startTime":938.152,"endTime":940.086,"body":"something else is going on."},{"startTime":940.228,"endTime":942.813,"body":"Let's pick up there when we come back from the break."},{"startTime":943.362,"endTime":944.242,"body":"be right back."},{"startTime":945.452,"endTime":955.105,"body":"Alright everybody, we are back here with Allison Shrier and we've gotten to a point where"},{"startTime":945.452,"endTime":955.105,"body":"it's that trigger moment where there's been things going on."},{"startTime":955.105,"endTime":956.685,"body":"There's been behavioral."},{"startTime":957.806,"endTime":968.389,"body":"Allison, but your husband has not been able to complete his graduate program and that's"},{"startTime":957.806,"endTime":968.389,"body":"maybe the moment where he says there's something going on."},{"startTime":968.389,"endTime":970.269,"body":"Let's talk about just a little bit."},{"startTime":970.269,"endTime":973.33,"body":"So tell me what his thought process was."},{"startTime":973.33,"endTime":973.806,"body":"What?"},{"startTime":973.806,"endTime":976.966,"body":"made him, what were the changes that actually made him unable?"},{"startTime":976.966,"endTime":981.566,"body":"Because he sounds like a smart guy, you know, I he's a software engineer, that's a whole"},{"startTime":976.966,"endTime":981.566,"body":"lot smarter than me."},{"startTime":985.726,"endTime":990.786,"body":"But tell me, because I want people, know, education is really an important thing for us."},{"startTime":990.786,"endTime":1000.838,"body":"Give me a sense of those behavioral changes, some of those that really, for him, said, I"},{"startTime":990.786,"endTime":1000.838,"body":"need to go in, this isn't normal, we need to start pursuing some help."},{"startTime":1002.19,"endTime":1002.991,"body":"Sure."},{"startTime":1002.991,"endTime":1008.014,"body":"So he had an inability to complete anything."},{"startTime":1008.014,"endTime":1017.74,"body":"So anything that he would start off to do, even if we would sit together, I would help him"},{"startTime":1008.014,"endTime":1017.74,"body":"make a list that you need to complete these tasks in this order, which at the time, right,"},{"startTime":1017.74,"endTime":1019.521,"body":"I was like, wow, this is so odd."},{"startTime":1019.521,"endTime":1027.326,"body":"I mean, this guy was a rock star software engineer, but he needs me to help him create a"},{"startTime":1019.521,"endTime":1027.326,"body":"list to help him get through the things that he needs to do."},{"startTime":1027.326,"endTime":1029.157,"body":"And now this wasn't a memory thing, right?"},{"startTime":1029.157,"endTime":1031.63,"body":"Because his dementia didn't have the memory component."},{"startTime":1031.63,"endTime":1033.65,"body":"It was just procedural memory."},{"startTime":1033.65,"endTime":1036.69,"body":"was the ability to follow any kind of a process."},{"startTime":1037.71,"endTime":1039.01,"body":"Executive functioning, right?"},{"startTime":1039.01,"endTime":1041.23,"body":"It was executive functioning problems."},{"startTime":1041.33,"endTime":1047.03,"body":"So he recognized that that was different, that that wasn't always who he was."},{"startTime":1047.73,"endTime":1048.81,"body":"And so that is what..."},{"startTime":1048.81,"endTime":1054.61,"body":"And also, I think more than anything, he was really depressed."},{"startTime":1054.61,"endTime":1061.07,"body":"So he was pretty blue about the fact that he hadn't been able to complete this..."},{"startTime":1061.07,"endTime":1062.051,"body":"program."},{"startTime":1062.051,"endTime":1076.85,"body":"And so when he went to see a psychiatrist, the psychiatrist diagnosed him with depression,"},{"startTime":1062.051,"endTime":1076.85,"body":"but she also diagnosed him with something that she called adult onset ADHD."},{"startTime":1076.85,"endTime":1085.686,"body":"So she said, I think the thing is that your whole life you've probably had ADHD, but you"},{"startTime":1076.85,"endTime":1085.686,"body":"were so high functioning that you've been able to mask it."},{"startTime":1085.686,"endTime":1089.618,"body":"And so now that you're getting a little bit older, you're having a harder time masking it."},{"startTime":1089.618,"endTime":1097.773,"body":"So what we're really seeing that's getting in the way of you're getting your work done is"},{"startTime":1089.618,"endTime":1097.773,"body":"that you have terrible ADHD and depression."},{"startTime":1097.773,"endTime":1105.097,"body":"And so that made sense to me as if there is a thing called adult onset ADHD."},{"startTime":1105.098,"endTime":1107.599,"body":"I bought it and he bought it."},{"startTime":1108.28,"endTime":1112.438,"body":"But what didn't make any sense is that nothing helped."},{"startTime":1112.438,"endTime":1118.483,"body":"So he took medications, tried making lists, like nothing made it get any better."},{"startTime":1118.864,"endTime":1130.734,"body":"But because we already had a diagnosis for years, we were just trying to figure out how do"},{"startTime":1118.864,"endTime":1130.734,"body":"you manage that diagnosis more than trying to figure out what is the right diagnosis."},{"startTime":1131.144,"endTime":1136.959,"body":"It's almost like you went down the wrong rabbit trail."},{"startTime":1136.959,"endTime":1145.106,"body":"and so let's go back to kind of you at this point because your husband quit his job to go"},{"startTime":1136.959,"endTime":1145.106,"body":"to grad school."},{"startTime":1145.106,"endTime":1147.458,"body":"Did you go back to work?"},{"startTime":1147.458,"endTime":1149.63,"body":"Did you guys swap positions?"},{"startTime":1149.63,"endTime":1154.974,"body":"Are you not working at this time and you guys are just moving forward together in that"},{"startTime":1149.63,"endTime":1154.974,"body":"direction?"},{"startTime":1156.046,"endTime":1172.48,"body":"I was not working and we were living off of savings and he was convinced that once he got"},{"startTime":1156.046,"endTime":1172.48,"body":"this ADHD under control, everything would be okay again."},{"startTime":1172.48,"endTime":1178.504,"body":"And so we both sort of rode with that, that once the ADHD is under control, things are"},{"startTime":1172.48,"endTime":1178.504,"body":"gonna be okay."},{"startTime":1178.505,"endTime":1184.249,"body":"He did get a job, so he got another job as a software engineer and he..."},{"startTime":1185.134,"endTime":1186.434,"body":"It wasn't working."},{"startTime":1186.434,"endTime":1196.034,"body":"So he would make mistakes that upon reflection were really like rank beginner mistakes,"},{"startTime":1186.434,"endTime":1196.034,"body":"like things that he should have seen that he just didn't see."},{"startTime":1196.034,"endTime":1202.614,"body":"And so he would come home and he would just be so upset and agitated because this isn't"},{"startTime":1196.034,"endTime":1202.614,"body":"like him."},{"startTime":1202.614,"endTime":1204.554,"body":"It's not like him to make these kinds of errors."},{"startTime":1204.554,"endTime":1207.254,"body":"And we're like, ah, we need to try a different medication."},{"startTime":1207.254,"endTime":1209.774,"body":"Like you're on the wrong ADD medication."},{"startTime":1210.496,"endTime":1213.506,"body":"And after a year at that job, they let him go."},{"startTime":1213.506,"endTime":1218.631,"body":"And they said that you just never seemed like the guy that your resume said you were."},{"startTime":1219.973,"endTime":1221.774,"body":"You never caught on fire."},{"startTime":1221.774,"endTime":1223.165,"body":"So they let him go."},{"startTime":1223.165,"endTime":1225.187,"body":"And then we're again, we're both back at home."},{"startTime":1225.187,"endTime":1231.321,"body":"And I'm just sort of living in this place of wondering, like, is it ADHD?"},{"startTime":1231.321,"endTime":1237.085,"body":"We started seeing a therapist who was for couples that one or the other or both have ADHD."},{"startTime":1238.666,"endTime":1243.149,"body":"I would bring stories to our sessions like, so this happened and this happened and this"},{"startTime":1238.666,"endTime":1243.149,"body":"happened."},{"startTime":1243.149,"endTime":1245.65,"body":"And this just doesn't sound like ADD to me."},{"startTime":1245.65,"endTime":1249.212,"body":"And the guy was like, well, know, ADHD can manifest in many different ways."},{"startTime":1249.212,"endTime":1252.014,"body":"I was like, it was crazy stuff."},{"startTime":1252.014,"endTime":1255.476,"body":"And yet we just kept riding with that."},{"startTime":1255.476,"endTime":1257.517,"body":"He did get one more job."},{"startTime":1258.277,"endTime":1260.698,"body":"A friend hired him at Microsoft."},{"startTime":1260.879,"endTime":1264.441,"body":"And I thought, okay, this is it."},{"startTime":1264.441,"endTime":1264.891,"body":"This is it."},{"startTime":1264.891,"endTime":1266.822,"body":"Now that he's with friends again."},{"startTime":1267.262,"endTime":1270.065,"body":"He's in an environment that he knows really well, he's really comfortable."},{"startTime":1270.065,"endTime":1273.308,"body":"Like this is when he's gonna kind of kick into gear."},{"startTime":1273.308,"endTime":1279.333,"body":"But meanwhile, he was getting stranger and stranger at home, like doing things, saying"},{"startTime":1273.308,"endTime":1279.333,"body":"things that didn't make a lot of sense."},{"startTime":1279.674,"endTime":1289.402,"body":"And within a couple of weeks, the guy who had hired him was a very good friend and his"},{"startTime":1279.674,"endTime":1289.402,"body":"wife called me and she was like, okay, so what's up with Evan?"},{"startTime":1289.402,"endTime":1293.996,"body":"Like he doesn't show up at meetings, he's playing foosball all the time."},{"startTime":1294.923,"endTime":1298.125,"body":"He doesn't seem to really be tracking what they're doing."},{"startTime":1298.346,"endTime":1300.717,"body":"And so I just thought, man, here we go again."},{"startTime":1300.717,"endTime":1304.206,"body":"Like it's just, this is just never gonna stop."},{"startTime":1304.206,"endTime":1304.706,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1304.706,"endTime":1307.913,"body":"How was your marriage at this point?"},{"startTime":1307.913,"endTime":1310.951,"body":"if he's- Yeah."},{"startTime":1310.951,"endTime":1311.971,"body":"Marriage was bad."},{"startTime":1311.971,"endTime":1317.533,"body":"And the reason it was bad is because I thought that he just wasn't trying hard enough."},{"startTime":1317.533,"endTime":1320.434,"body":"Like, know people with ADHD, right?"},{"startTime":1320.434,"endTime":1322.855,"body":"Yeah, they take their meds and they get on with it."},{"startTime":1322.855,"endTime":1323.155,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1323.155,"endTime":1328.147,"body":"And they, they at least like try to stick with the list that they've made for the day."},{"startTime":1328.147,"endTime":1331.864,"body":"Like, we were we were at a point where he would have like,"},{"startTime":1331.864,"endTime":1333.855,"body":"three things he needs to get done today."},{"startTime":1333.855,"endTime":1337.808,"body":"And I would make sticky notes and I'd put them on the kitchen, on the cabinet."},{"startTime":1337.808,"endTime":1340.68,"body":"Like here are the three things Evan needs to do today."},{"startTime":1340.68,"endTime":1346.964,"body":"So bear in mind now, I've also got like at this point, a 10 year old and a 12 year old and"},{"startTime":1340.68,"endTime":1346.964,"body":"I do the same thing for them."},{"startTime":1346.964,"endTime":1349.75,"body":"And it's like, they get their sticky notes accomplished."},{"startTime":1349.75,"endTime":1351.581,"body":"I could imagine that being so frustrating."},{"startTime":1351.581,"endTime":1361.578,"body":"Allison, I could imagine like I'm doing the same thing for my children that I am doing for"},{"startTime":1351.581,"endTime":1361.578,"body":"my husband, who is exceptionally talented and what's going on."},{"startTime":1362.061,"endTime":1362.434,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1362.434,"endTime":1363.234,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":1364.576,"endTime":1373.386,"body":"So tell me about a point where you're you make the change and you all realize what"},{"startTime":1364.576,"endTime":1373.386,"body":"actually the"},{"startTime":1373.386,"endTime":1382.296,"body":"Yeah, what took you to actually medical professional to actually you've been with a"},{"startTime":1373.386,"endTime":1382.296,"body":"psychiatrist and I'm in the mental health field and I'm sitting here thinking I'm like"},{"startTime":1382.296,"endTime":1388.81,"body":"behavioral health and primary care do not work well together."},{"startTime":1388.81,"endTime":1395.714,"body":"in the sense of from from a coordination of care and that's something that we always want"},{"startTime":1388.81,"endTime":1395.714,"body":"to do in the health care industry."},{"startTime":1395.714,"endTime":1407.001,"body":"But but in practice it is not done well and it's very evident that you've had a"},{"startTime":1395.714,"endTime":1407.001,"body":"misdiagnosis for a number of years which is negatively impacted your family and right."},{"startTime":1407.001,"endTime":1412.054,"body":"So what was that trigger point that set you said we need more testing."},{"startTime":1412.054,"endTime":1416.446,"body":"We need something different or I'm gonna I'm gonna do something different right?"},{"startTime":1416.462,"endTime":1418.082,"body":"That is such a good question."},{"startTime":1418.082,"endTime":1424.622,"body":"what happened is that I didn't think I could stay in this marriage."},{"startTime":1424.682,"endTime":1429.022,"body":"was just absolutely like, was trying everything I could to make it work."},{"startTime":1429.022,"endTime":1432.162,"body":"And I started seeing a therapist."},{"startTime":1432.162,"endTime":1436.282,"body":"my husband, meanwhile, by the way, had been to like five different therapists at this"},{"startTime":1432.162,"endTime":1436.282,"body":"point."},{"startTime":1436.282,"endTime":1439.682,"body":"And he'd been to a neurologist and he'd been to a neuropsychologist."},{"startTime":1439.682,"endTime":1442.829,"body":"Wow, so he went to a medical professional."},{"startTime":1442.829,"endTime":1445.415,"body":"He went and said, hey, let's have some."},{"startTime":1445.415,"endTime":1445.915,"body":"They didn't."},{"startTime":1445.915,"endTime":1446.697,"body":"They didn't say anything."},{"startTime":1446.697,"endTime":1447.374,"body":"Go ahead."},{"startTime":1447.374,"endTime":1449.314,"body":"Well, the neurologists said they did an MRI."},{"startTime":1449.314,"endTime":1451.254,"body":"This was in 2009."},{"startTime":1451.254,"endTime":1452.754,"body":"They did an MRI."},{"startTime":1454.454,"endTime":1460.594,"body":"the neurologist, I remember Evan, when he came home, he was just so upset."},{"startTime":1460.594,"endTime":1465.194,"body":"He said the guy actually slapped me on the shoulder and said, I don't know what to tell"},{"startTime":1460.594,"endTime":1465.194,"body":"you."},{"startTime":1465.194,"endTime":1466.954,"body":"There's nothing wrong with your brain."},{"startTime":1466.954,"endTime":1467.854,"body":"Wow."},{"startTime":1468.454,"endTime":1472.166,"body":"Now, I will share with you that in 2012, when we had more"},{"startTime":1472.45,"endTime":1481.756,"body":"when we had work done at the University of California in San Francisco, they looked at"},{"startTime":1472.45,"endTime":1481.756,"body":"that same MRI that had been done in 2009 and they were like, my God, it's just like,"},{"startTime":1481.756,"endTime":1483.657,"body":"hello, I have dementia."},{"startTime":1484.428,"endTime":1485.722,"body":"He missed it."},{"startTime":1485.806,"endTime":1487.014,"body":"just simply."},{"startTime":1487.014,"endTime":1493.477,"body":"Yes, because I think we were seeing somebody who was not necessarily a dementia specialist"},{"startTime":1487.014,"endTime":1493.477,"body":"because we didn't know we needed one."},{"startTime":1493.477,"endTime":1504.181,"body":"And I think that a problem that we run into is that for that neurologist and others like"},{"startTime":1493.477,"endTime":1504.181,"body":"him, they're looking for something that is there that shouldn't be like say a tumor,"},{"startTime":1504.181,"endTime":1512.324,"body":"rather something there that isn't there that should be like the right amount of brain"},{"startTime":1504.181,"endTime":1512.324,"body":"shrinkage for a person that age."},{"startTime":1513.045,"endTime":1515.608,"body":"But anyway, so to back that up then, I..."},{"startTime":1515.608,"endTime":1519.44,"body":"We had all of this data that was pointing to absolutely nothing."},{"startTime":1519.44,"endTime":1521.881,"body":"And so I thought, OK, I just don't know."},{"startTime":1521.881,"endTime":1523.421,"body":"How do I keep doing this?"},{"startTime":1523.421,"endTime":1524.512,"body":"How do I stay in this marriage?"},{"startTime":1524.512,"endTime":1526.943,"body":"Because I don't want my marriage to end."},{"startTime":1526.943,"endTime":1529.323,"body":"So I started seeing a therapist."},{"startTime":1529.684,"endTime":1536.737,"body":"And I would come in with stories about things that were going on with Evan and how it was"},{"startTime":1529.684,"endTime":1536.737,"body":"impacting the kids."},{"startTime":1536.737,"endTime":1539.588,"body":"And she would help me chew on it and work through it."},{"startTime":1539.628,"endTime":1542.099,"body":"And then one day, I went to see her."},{"startTime":1542.099,"endTime":1542.863,"body":"And I said, you know what?"},{"startTime":1542.863,"endTime":1545.058,"body":"We need to have a whiteboard moment."},{"startTime":1545.058,"endTime":1556.108,"body":"where I'm gonna tell you just in the last week all of the things that have happened that"},{"startTime":1545.058,"endTime":1556.108,"body":"absolutely positively cannot possibly be ADD."},{"startTime":1556.108,"endTime":1557.158,"body":"And so I did that."},{"startTime":1557.158,"endTime":1561.893,"body":"This happened, then this happened, this is what he did, this is what I did, this is how he"},{"startTime":1557.158,"endTime":1561.893,"body":"responded, then this happened."},{"startTime":1561.893,"endTime":1567.858,"body":"And at the end of it, I remember looking at her and she was just shaking her head and she"},{"startTime":1561.893,"endTime":1567.858,"body":"said, my God, I feel like I finally heard you."},{"startTime":1567.858,"endTime":1570.38,"body":"And she said, I need you to go see."},{"startTime":1570.38,"endTime":1573.132,"body":"And she pointed us to another psychiatrist."},{"startTime":1573.526,"endTime":1580.339,"body":"And she said, I think that this person will be able to figure out what it is because I'm"},{"startTime":1573.526,"endTime":1580.339,"body":"telling you, it is not ADD."},{"startTime":1580.339,"endTime":1581.269,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1581.61,"endTime":1585.852,"body":"So Evan and I went together to see this new psychiatrist."},{"startTime":1585.852,"endTime":1594.115,"body":"she spent time with both of us and then she called me up and she said, I need to see just"},{"startTime":1585.852,"endTime":1594.115,"body":"you by yourself."},{"startTime":1594.115,"endTime":1598.217,"body":"So I went in to see her and she said, okay, so your husband doesn't have ADD."},{"startTime":1599.578,"endTime":1600.398,"body":"And"},{"startTime":1600.406,"endTime":1604.978,"body":"I have, here's the steps we're going to go through to determine what he does have."},{"startTime":1604.978,"endTime":1608.429,"body":"Like finally somebody's interested in physiological testing."},{"startTime":1608.63,"endTime":1610.02,"body":"let's look at blood work, right?"},{"startTime":1610.02,"endTime":1614.772,"body":"Let's look at, so she made a list of like, let's look at his sleep habits."},{"startTime":1614.772,"endTime":1617.463,"body":"So she made a list of all of the things we were going to go through."},{"startTime":1617.463,"endTime":1621.935,"body":"And at the very bottom of the list was frontotemporal dementia."},{"startTime":1621.935,"endTime":1628.478,"body":"And she said, if none of these things are the problem, then the problem is that he has"},{"startTime":1621.935,"endTime":1628.478,"body":"frontotemporal"},{"startTime":1628.759,"endTime":1636.949,"body":"Yeah, and that's I know JJ had mentioned she in your intro about you said FTD and I'm"},{"startTime":1628.759,"endTime":1636.949,"body":"like, I don't know that people know what FTD means besides the flowers."},{"startTime":1636.95,"endTime":1648.346,"body":"And also I think it's because of the diagnosis of Bruce Willis, I think that has something"},{"startTime":1636.95,"endTime":1648.346,"body":"that has really brought forefront what this disease is because it's not something that you"},{"startTime":1648.346,"endTime":1651.997,"body":"really heard, you don't really hear a lot about."},{"startTime":1652.43,"endTime":1652.814,"body":"So."},{"startTime":1652.814,"endTime":1654.114,"body":"Well, people think of dementia."},{"startTime":1654.114,"endTime":1656.015,"body":"think of dementia and the different behaviors."},{"startTime":1656.015,"endTime":1667.799,"body":"And I'm so glad, Allison, that you said this is an executive functioning issue that's"},{"startTime":1656.015,"endTime":1667.799,"body":"procedural more than it is a memory issue so that people are like, because I think it was"},{"startTime":1667.799,"endTime":1673.081,"body":"our friend Carrie Alberts, whose dementia darling, I think she said there's good."},{"startTime":1673.081,"endTime":1675.342,"body":"She's she's she's our bestie."},{"startTime":1676.002,"endTime":1680.845,"body":"I think it's 126 different types of dementias out there."},{"startTime":1680.845,"endTime":1681.965,"body":"I believe that was what she said."},{"startTime":1681.965,"endTime":1686.308,"body":"We did a podcast together with another group on sleep."},{"startTime":1686.648,"endTime":1689.9,"body":"I think that's really important."},{"startTime":1689.9,"endTime":1693.352,"body":"that dementia is not just an aging illness."},{"startTime":1693.432,"endTime":1697.214,"body":"Because that's why I was so specific about how old was your husband."},{"startTime":1697.214,"endTime":1702.207,"body":"And so you all get, you narrow it down, you go through and you cross through."},{"startTime":1702.207,"endTime":1704.148,"body":"And I almost feel like a piece of paper."},{"startTime":1704.148,"endTime":1707.0,"body":"Not this, not this, not this, not this."},{"startTime":1707.761,"endTime":1710.363,"body":"And so you get this diagnosis."},{"startTime":1710.744,"endTime":1713.376,"body":"And then what I have question."},{"startTime":1713.376,"endTime":1715.267,"body":"I have a question about her though."},{"startTime":1715.267,"endTime":1716.667,"body":"One question before yours."},{"startTime":1716.667,"endTime":1719.608,"body":"What did you feel like when that lady gave you a list?"},{"startTime":1719.729,"endTime":1721.809,"body":"Did you feel hopeful though?"},{"startTime":1721.809,"endTime":1723.29,"body":"Because she said no."},{"startTime":1723.29,"endTime":1730.453,"body":"What was that feeling that minute when somebody actually maybe heard and said no, it's not"},{"startTime":1723.29,"endTime":1730.453,"body":"this disease that you've been thinking it was?"},{"startTime":1730.453,"endTime":1732.634,"body":"What did you feel at that second?"},{"startTime":1732.97,"endTime":1741.334,"body":"I felt relief because I thought, finally, finally, because so many of the things on the"},{"startTime":1732.97,"endTime":1741.334,"body":"list, they were fixable, right?"},{"startTime":1741.805,"endTime":1746.777,"body":"okay, so if he has a vitamin B deficiency, well, gosh, we'll just give him vitamin B."},{"startTime":1746.787,"endTime":1750.54,"body":"so if it's a sleep issue, phew, we can fix a sleep issue."},{"startTime":1750.54,"endTime":1755.082,"body":"So I was convinced that we, first of all, that we would never get to the bottom of the"},{"startTime":1750.54,"endTime":1755.082,"body":"list."},{"startTime":1755.168,"endTime":1756.632,"body":"Same, same with cancer."},{"startTime":1756.632,"endTime":1757.176,"body":"Same."},{"startTime":1757.176,"endTime":1758.236,"body":"Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah."},{"startTime":1758.236,"endTime":1762.809,"body":"So I knew that it was going to be like, yeah, number one or number two, easy peasy."},{"startTime":1762.809,"endTime":1763.399,"body":"And I'll be too."},{"startTime":1763.399,"endTime":1770.502,"body":"We'll be laughing over cocktails about how hilarious it was that he went for six years of"},{"startTime":1763.399,"endTime":1770.502,"body":"just getting like weirder and weirder and weirder."},{"startTime":1770.502,"endTime":1772.833,"body":"And now he's back to his beautiful sweet self."},{"startTime":1772.833,"endTime":1773.612,"body":"my gosh."},{"startTime":1773.612,"endTime":1777.328,"body":"Yeah, is that your that's my marriage is fixed."},{"startTime":1777.328,"endTime":1780.213,"body":"My boys are going to be fine and we're going to sit on rocking chairs in the port."},{"startTime":1780.213,"endTime":1781.905,"body":"That is that's and that's my career."},{"startTime":1781.905,"endTime":1783.217,"body":"That's your mindset."},{"startTime":1783.331,"endTime":1783.694,"body":"Yep."},{"startTime":1783.694,"endTime":1787.634,"body":"So now that JJ has gotten on fire for a second."},{"startTime":1788.454,"endTime":1793.614,"body":"you get this diagnosis and then what happens?"},{"startTime":1793.614,"endTime":1806.554,"body":"Because I'm assuming there is both, and I don't want to put words in your mouth, I would"},{"startTime":1793.614,"endTime":1806.554,"body":"think there is relief because we have an answer and terror, fear, and what happens next"},{"startTime":1806.554,"endTime":1811.846,"body":"because you have a husband who is, he's still in his 30s, correct?"},{"startTime":1813.385,"endTime":1815.91,"body":"No, so by this time he's in his 40s."},{"startTime":1815.91,"endTime":1822.33,"body":"in his 40s, but even still, that's like mom with early onset diagnosis at 40, or early"},{"startTime":1815.91,"endTime":1822.33,"body":"onset at 48."},{"startTime":1822.43,"endTime":1828.43,"body":"Like, holy crap, like you're gonna be, this is not what we had planned."},{"startTime":1828.43,"endTime":1830.726,"body":"So what are you going through at that point?"},{"startTime":1830.814,"endTime":1831.794,"body":"Right."},{"startTime":1832.095,"endTime":1833.215,"body":"You're absolutely right."},{"startTime":1833.215,"endTime":1836.416,"body":"Relief and terror."},{"startTime":1836.416,"endTime":1847.781,"body":"And so for the relief, just to look at that a little bit more deeply, what I mean by"},{"startTime":1836.416,"endTime":1847.781,"body":"relief is that I had been, I would say that my overarching emotional response towards my"},{"startTime":1847.781,"endTime":1853.564,"body":"husband for the past X number of years had been anger, anger and disappointment."},{"startTime":1853.564,"endTime":1856.084,"body":"You could fix this, but you're choosing not to."},{"startTime":1856.805,"endTime":1859.788,"body":"And I hated and I hate still."},{"startTime":1859.788,"endTime":1868.585,"body":"the fact that my children got to witness this relationship that was so broken in response"},{"startTime":1859.788,"endTime":1868.585,"body":"to the disease."},{"startTime":1869.026,"endTime":1878.994,"body":"So the good part is that I would say that I felt like a vacuum had sort of like sucked out"},{"startTime":1869.026,"endTime":1878.994,"body":"all the anger and replaced it with sadness."},{"startTime":1879.118,"endTime":1881.129,"body":"wow, you're exactly right."},{"startTime":1881.346,"endTime":1883.791,"body":"But I would take sadness over anger any day, right?"},{"startTime":1883.791,"endTime":1886.766,"body":"Because sadness, there's no blame."},{"startTime":1886.766,"endTime":1888.983,"body":"I was able to let go of the blame."},{"startTime":1888.983,"endTime":1892.79,"body":"And to me, that was just absolutely liberating."},{"startTime":1893.846,"endTime":1903.634,"body":"Wow, and you know, and I think this I think about the impact that it not only had on your"},{"startTime":1893.846,"endTime":1903.634,"body":"marriage, but even we talked a little bit about just that this had to have an impact on"},{"startTime":1903.634,"endTime":1916.275,"body":"your boys as well in the sense of they're watching a person like for you as the mom, you"},{"startTime":1903.634,"endTime":1916.275,"body":"look at it and you say the dad that they see and experience is not the man that you met"},{"startTime":1916.275,"endTime":1917.186,"body":"originally."},{"startTime":1917.186,"endTime":1922.722,"body":"And so I know that you're trying to claw back that that man so that you're like, where's"},{"startTime":1917.186,"endTime":1922.722,"body":"the sweet person?"},{"startTime":1922.722,"endTime":1930.245,"body":"because they're learning, they're seeing this and they're probably like, this is not the"},{"startTime":1922.722,"endTime":1930.245,"body":"same as everybody else's, this is kind of weird."},{"startTime":1930.325,"endTime":1937.282,"body":"I think being able to pinpoint the why helps with understanding the why."},{"startTime":1937.282,"endTime":1937.969,"body":"Do you know what I mean?"},{"startTime":1937.969,"endTime":1947.133,"body":"Like the why for the behavior and so at least it gives you, I don't wanna say an excuse,"},{"startTime":1937.969,"endTime":1947.133,"body":"but you can excuse away the abnormality of it."},{"startTime":1947.133,"endTime":1951.034,"body":"so you get this, so you've gotten the diagnosis."},{"startTime":1951.47,"endTime":1956.11,"body":"And I'm gonna go back to again, and now how do you move on with your life?"},{"startTime":1956.11,"endTime":1963.95,"body":"How do you guys say, do you all sit down and have a conversation and say, this is how"},{"startTime":1956.11,"endTime":1963.95,"body":"we're going to move forward as a couple."},{"startTime":1963.95,"endTime":1970.39,"body":"These are the things that we need to do to help support us as a couple and as parents to"},{"startTime":1963.95,"endTime":1970.39,"body":"these wonderful little human beings."},{"startTime":1970.39,"endTime":1973.59,"body":"Cause the boys at this point are I think 12 and 17, is that right?"},{"startTime":1973.59,"endTime":1975.45,"body":"12 and 15, thank you."},{"startTime":1975.45,"endTime":1976.87,"body":"Apparently I can't add."},{"startTime":1977.21,"endTime":1979.05,"body":"And, but."},{"startTime":1979.17,"endTime":1981.052,"body":"So then how do you decide to move forward?"},{"startTime":1981.052,"endTime":1982.628,"body":"Because you're living with."},{"startTime":1982.87,"endTime":1991.698,"body":"Okay, so to be clear, at this point, my husband was beyond being able to function as the"},{"startTime":1982.87,"endTime":1991.698,"body":"other half of a couple."},{"startTime":1991.698,"endTime":1992.88,"body":"Gotcha."},{"startTime":1992.88,"endTime":1998.464,"body":"So he was very much one of the people, he was a person who needed to be cared for."},{"startTime":1999.926,"endTime":2006.552,"body":"And so we, boy, we came home from the doctor's office and..."},{"startTime":2008.352,"endTime":2013.085,"body":"The boys knew that we were out figuring out what was making dad so strange."},{"startTime":2013.686,"endTime":2025.524,"body":"we all sat down together and I shared with them the diagnosis and that there is definitely"},{"startTime":2013.686,"endTime":2025.524,"body":"something wrong with dad's brain and that it's going to get worse."},{"startTime":2026.169,"endTime":2027.151,"body":"You know what?"},{"startTime":2027.151,"endTime":2028.675,"body":"Hold on one second, Allison."},{"startTime":2028.675,"endTime":2029.557,"body":"I hate to interrupt you."},{"startTime":2029.557,"endTime":2031.961,"body":"We've got to take a break because I'm over my time."},{"startTime":2032.103,"endTime":2032.895,"body":"We'll take a break."},{"startTime":2032.895,"endTime":2033.856,"body":"be right back."},{"startTime":2035.222,"endTime":2047.84,"body":"We're back here with Alison Shrier and this is a part that when you tell me this, this is"},{"startTime":2035.222,"endTime":2047.84,"body":"kind of, it touches me, where you say we've got this diagnosis and your husband, is not"},{"startTime":2047.84,"endTime":2049.011,"body":"gonna, he's not functioning."},{"startTime":2049.011,"endTime":2058.177,"body":"You've gone home and you've had this conversation with your boys and you've told them,"},{"startTime":2049.011,"endTime":2058.177,"body":"hey, this is how it is and this is going to get worse over time."},{"startTime":2058.177,"endTime":2063.85,"body":"And you gotta start living these years that you have left because it ultimately, this"},{"startTime":2058.177,"endTime":2063.85,"body":"disease is."},{"startTime":2063.85,"endTime":2066.252,"body":"This is not a disease that's going to get better."},{"startTime":2066.252,"endTime":2070.356,"body":"So I want to talk about those years because I know there were some changes throughout that"},{"startTime":2066.252,"endTime":2070.356,"body":"time."},{"startTime":2070.356,"endTime":2072.658,"body":"So let's go ahead and share that."},{"startTime":2073.058,"endTime":2077.5,"body":"Yeah, so it was a tumultuous time, of course."},{"startTime":2077.661,"endTime":2081.463,"body":"And it was other things that factored in."},{"startTime":2081.923,"endTime":2090.348,"body":"year earlier before the diagnosis, when I didn't know what was going on, but it was really"},{"startTime":2081.923,"endTime":2090.348,"body":"clear that Evan was never going to work again, like he'd lost his last job."},{"startTime":2091.749,"endTime":2094.27,"body":"And I knew that I was going to need to have to work."},{"startTime":2095.371,"endTime":2100.034,"body":"And I knew that we probably, the kids were in private school at the time."},{"startTime":2100.054,"endTime":2102.796,"body":"And I thought, I have no idea what our financial future is like."},{"startTime":2102.796,"endTime":2105.018,"body":"Like they probably can't be in private school."},{"startTime":2105.018,"endTime":2113.815,"body":"But the school district that we lived in, the reason they went to private school is"},{"startTime":2105.018,"endTime":2113.815,"body":"because the district that we lived in was not conducive to education."},{"startTime":2113.815,"endTime":2114.661,"body":"Shall we stop?"},{"startTime":2114.661,"endTime":2115.413,"body":"strongest."},{"startTime":2115.413,"endTime":2118.28,"body":"That's a nice way to be not conducive to education."},{"startTime":2119.02,"endTime":2119.651,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2119.651,"endTime":2132.102,"body":"So I, a year earlier than before we got the diagnosis, I made the decision to get an"},{"startTime":2119.651,"endTime":2132.102,"body":"apartment in a better school district that was about six miles from our house."},{"startTime":2132.643,"endTime":2142.612,"body":"My husband wouldn't come with us to the apartment because we had a dog and the dog wasn't"},{"startTime":2132.643,"endTime":2142.612,"body":"going to be allowed in the apartment and he didn't want to, he'd rather stay with the dog"},{"startTime":2142.612,"endTime":2145.194,"body":"than move with me and the kids."},{"startTime":2145.699,"endTime":2152.204,"body":"And so we were already in this weird, kind of broken, living in this little apartment and"},{"startTime":2145.699,"endTime":2152.204,"body":"spending every weekend at the house."},{"startTime":2152.204,"endTime":2157.208,"body":"And now we've got this diagnosis and my husband is very, very loud."},{"startTime":2157.208,"endTime":2165.885,"body":"He's loud a lot of the time when he gets upset, which happens a lot because he's"},{"startTime":2157.208,"endTime":2165.885,"body":"frustrated because he can't do things that he knows he should be able to do."},{"startTime":2165.885,"endTime":2168.337,"body":"his response to that is that he screams."},{"startTime":2168.818,"endTime":2174.702,"body":"And so I thought we were going to get kicked out of the apartment because it's so at this"},{"startTime":2168.818,"endTime":2174.702,"body":"point, by the way,"},{"startTime":2174.85,"endTime":2184.266,"body":"Two weeks before we got the actual diagnosis remember we're going down that list and when"},{"startTime":2174.85,"endTime":2184.266,"body":"it was really clear where we were going to land I Convinced him that he should come live"},{"startTime":2184.266,"endTime":2185.717,"body":"in the apartment with us."},{"startTime":2185.717,"endTime":2196.054,"body":"So he came to the apartment And we got the diagnosis and then I thought okay I need to we"},{"startTime":2185.717,"endTime":2196.054,"body":"need to do some things differently here the house that we lived in was a beautiful house"},{"startTime":2196.054,"endTime":2200.022,"body":"but it was at the end of a dead-end road on ten acres and"},{"startTime":2200.022,"endTime":2203.876,"body":"My husband was no longer going to be able to drive, so we needed to live in town."},{"startTime":2203.876,"endTime":2211.312,"body":"So I needed to, at the same time, while trying to sort him out, get the kids into new"},{"startTime":2203.876,"endTime":2211.312,"body":"schools, get a new house."},{"startTime":2211.312,"endTime":2214.495,"body":"I had to sell the other house and then get another house."},{"startTime":2214.495,"endTime":2217.628,"body":"So trying to manage all of those things and then insurance, right?"},{"startTime":2217.628,"endTime":2225.745,"body":"Like trying to find the right insurance and trying to find the right doctors and dealing"},{"startTime":2217.628,"endTime":2225.745,"body":"with the fact that I've got kids who every day,"},{"startTime":2226.802,"endTime":2231.805,"body":"my younger one when he would go to school, it was weeks before they went to school again."},{"startTime":2231.805,"endTime":2236.808,"body":"But when he went to school in the middle of the day with great regularity, they would call"},{"startTime":2231.805,"endTime":2236.808,"body":"me that I needed to come pick him up."},{"startTime":2236.808,"endTime":2243.752,"body":"So trying to manage the emotions of two young kids while trying to manage my own emotions."},{"startTime":2243.752,"endTime":2249.735,"body":"And then my husband comes home one day and he is just a complete wreck because he has"},{"startTime":2243.752,"endTime":2249.735,"body":"decided to do some online research."},{"startTime":2249.735,"endTime":2254.538,"body":"And I remember the day that he came in and he said, I'm going to be dead in seven years."},{"startTime":2254.626,"endTime":2259.197,"body":"He just fell apart crying and crying and I've got the kids and I've got a-"},{"startTime":2259.522,"endTime":2263.183,"body":"my God, I don't know that that that is."},{"startTime":2263.183,"endTime":2266.176,"body":"That's what we talked about and I don't say this facetiously."},{"startTime":2266.176,"endTime":2267.557,"body":"That is a dumpster fire."},{"startTime":2267.557,"endTime":2272.01,"body":"That is a you are a you are a sandwich generation caregiver."},{"startTime":2272.01,"endTime":2279.324,"body":"You are managing everyone and I guess the thing is that I would ask is are you taking care"},{"startTime":2272.01,"endTime":2279.324,"body":"of yourself?"},{"startTime":2279.324,"endTime":2281.635,"body":"Because this is the notorious thing."},{"startTime":2281.635,"endTime":2287.214,"body":"Are you going and keeping up your regular like mine is I miss mammograms for I don't know"},{"startTime":2281.635,"endTime":2287.214,"body":"three years."},{"startTime":2287.214,"endTime":2289.997,"body":"You know, are you going and taking care of yourself?"},{"startTime":2289.997,"endTime":2293.111,"body":"Because right now you are taking care of everyone else."},{"startTime":2293.111,"endTime":2296.084,"body":"And honestly, I say this respectfully to your husband."},{"startTime":2296.485,"endTime":2298.247,"body":"You're taking care of three children."},{"startTime":2298.247,"endTime":2304.533,"body":"You might as well have had a third child because you're doing similar type behaviors,"},{"startTime":2298.247,"endTime":2304.533,"body":"similar type reminders."},{"startTime":2305.075,"endTime":2308.468,"body":"And are you still getting therapy at this time?"},{"startTime":2309.006,"endTime":2312.246,"body":"So yes, I was still seeing my therapist and that was a lifeline."},{"startTime":2312.246,"endTime":2314.086,"body":"That was really important."},{"startTime":2314.086,"endTime":2317.406,"body":"I also very early on found a support group."},{"startTime":2317.746,"endTime":2319.846,"body":"you know, like, wow, right?"},{"startTime":2319.846,"endTime":2325.386,"body":"That's the first thing I always tell everybody who's newly diagnosed is, oh my God, find a"},{"startTime":2319.846,"endTime":2325.386,"body":"support group."},{"startTime":2325.386,"endTime":2326.433,"body":"your tribe."},{"startTime":2326.51,"endTime":2327.222,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2327.222,"endTime":2337.426,"body":"And I did, I went through a couple, one of the people, somebody who I know, who I'm close"},{"startTime":2327.222,"endTime":2337.426,"body":"to in my life, heard that we had dementia, his wife had dementia, he was like, you need to"},{"startTime":2337.426,"endTime":2339.487,"body":"come to my support group, swooped me in."},{"startTime":2339.487,"endTime":2341.148,"body":"So that was great."},{"startTime":2341.688,"endTime":2344.629,"body":"But as far as taking care of me, no."},{"startTime":2345.61,"endTime":2349.981,"body":"I'm one of those people who doesn't eat when I'm upset."},{"startTime":2349.981,"endTime":2356.474,"body":"So I just was like wasting away, just like getting, just rail thin, unhealthy."},{"startTime":2357.07,"endTime":2358.061,"body":"walking all the time."},{"startTime":2358.061,"endTime":2363.743,"body":"Like the only thing that in the evenings I would just go like walk for miles and miles and"},{"startTime":2358.061,"endTime":2363.743,"body":"miles because it was the like I could cry."},{"startTime":2363.743,"endTime":2365.143,"body":"I'm out there by myself."},{"startTime":2365.143,"endTime":2376.597,"body":"I can like breathe in air and you know just so that was my therapy in addition to talking"},{"startTime":2365.143,"endTime":2376.597,"body":"to my therapist and my support group was walking all the time but I wasn't eating so yeah."},{"startTime":2376.917,"endTime":2377.157,"body":"wow."},{"startTime":2377.157,"endTime":2379.098,"body":"It was not the best time."},{"startTime":2379.098,"endTime":2383.51,"body":"know, first of all, I want to thank you for saying, yes, I was in therapy."},{"startTime":2383.51,"endTime":2387.642,"body":"Yes, I found a group because there's so many people who don't take those steps."},{"startTime":2387.642,"endTime":2391.894,"body":"And if those are just the two steps that you can take, please, you know, get the time for"},{"startTime":2387.642,"endTime":2391.894,"body":"that."},{"startTime":2391.894,"endTime":2392.704,"body":"So thank you."},{"startTime":2392.704,"endTime":2395.826,"body":"The people saying, yes, it's absolutely okay."},{"startTime":2395.826,"endTime":2400.487,"body":"I know that you were able, you kept Evan at home for two years."},{"startTime":2400.728,"endTime":2405.824,"body":"At what point, what was your turning point of saying, I can't manage this anymore?"},{"startTime":2405.824,"endTime":2413.492,"body":"and then let me know about, he went to multiple facilities, let us kinda know about the"},{"startTime":2405.824,"endTime":2413.492,"body":"transition for that, Allison."},{"startTime":2413.548,"endTime":2415.86,"body":"Yeah, thank you for asking about that."},{"startTime":2418.522,"endTime":2424.567,"body":"It got to a point where Evan's behaviors were too challenging for the kids to be around."},{"startTime":2424.567,"endTime":2425.368,"body":"Got it."},{"startTime":2425.368,"endTime":2432.234,"body":"And so I talked about the screaming, and he would get, he would scream at them."},{"startTime":2432.715,"endTime":2436.437,"body":"He was saying and doing things that were very inappropriate."},{"startTime":2437.038,"endTime":2440.93,"body":"And it was really taking a toll on everybody."},{"startTime":2440.93,"endTime":2443.101,"body":"So the kids were both in therapy."},{"startTime":2443.138,"endTime":2444.781,"body":"I was in therapy."},{"startTime":2445.462,"endTime":2447.263,"body":"Evan was seeing his doctor."},{"startTime":2447.263,"endTime":2453.264,"body":"And all of the medical professionals were like, OK, this is something's going to give"},{"startTime":2447.263,"endTime":2453.264,"body":"here."},{"startTime":2453.264,"endTime":2457.747,"body":"Like, these people cannot all keep living in the same house."},{"startTime":2457.747,"endTime":2461.489,"body":"And so the kids' therapist said, look, either he has to leave or they do."},{"startTime":2461.489,"endTime":2463.79,"body":"But they can't live with him anymore."},{"startTime":2463.96,"endTime":2469.784,"body":"Did it impact, let me ask you this, and I know you got one child on the spectrum, did it"},{"startTime":2463.96,"endTime":2469.784,"body":"impact them educationally?"},{"startTime":2469.784,"endTime":2472.156,"body":"Was it impacting their studies, their things like that?"},{"startTime":2472.156,"endTime":2481.25,"body":"Because that's what I think most parents worry about is the impact of the person that"},{"startTime":2472.156,"endTime":2481.25,"body":"you're caring for, the secondary kind of trauma that they're experiencing."},{"startTime":2481.25,"endTime":2483.363,"body":"And it doesn't mean you're a CPS complaint."},{"startTime":2483.363,"endTime":2488.347,"body":"It doesn't mean that they're calling Child Protective Services because you're not caring"},{"startTime":2483.363,"endTime":2488.347,"body":"for your kids because you're caring for everybody."},{"startTime":2488.347,"endTime":2493.728,"body":"But I think this is the ripple effect that any type of chronic complex"},{"startTime":2493.728,"endTime":2501.976,"body":"illness can have or when you're caring for another person, like the ripple effect and"},{"startTime":2493.728,"endTime":2501.976,"body":"almost like casualties."},{"startTime":2501.976,"endTime":2507.932,"body":"You are a casualty, Allison, because you think about all the way that it impacted you."},{"startTime":2507.932,"endTime":2514.038,"body":"So you guys make that decision to go ahead and transition."},{"startTime":2514.779,"endTime":2517.932,"body":"And so how was that experience for you guys?"},{"startTime":2517.986,"endTime":2519.636,"body":"You know, it was actually really positive."},{"startTime":2519.636,"endTime":2529.909,"body":"And I also just do want to acknowledge that, yeah, my kids, I can only imagine what their"},{"startTime":2519.636,"endTime":2529.909,"body":"academic success would have been like if they had not had this in their lives because it"},{"startTime":2529.909,"endTime":2530.99,"body":"crushed them."},{"startTime":2530.99,"endTime":2532.19,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2532.19,"endTime":2533.37,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2533.37,"endTime":2534.169,"body":"It wasn't good."},{"startTime":2534.169,"endTime":2537.831,"body":"But anyway, you know what?"},{"startTime":2537.831,"endTime":2541.372,"body":"I really played into Evan's narcissism at this point."},{"startTime":2541.372,"endTime":2544.613,"body":"He was so irritated by the kids all the time."},{"startTime":2544.973,"endTime":2547.274,"body":"We had an amazing neurologist."},{"startTime":2547.558,"endTime":2550.069,"body":"I sent her a letter and I said, here's the deal."},{"startTime":2550.069,"endTime":2551.548,"body":"I have found a place for Evan to go."},{"startTime":2551.548,"endTime":2555.44,"body":"I described it to her and I said, we have to get him out of the house."},{"startTime":2556.181,"endTime":2566.034,"body":"I need you to tell him that moving out of the house would be the best thing for his brain"},{"startTime":2556.181,"endTime":2566.034,"body":"because if he thinks it's better for him to no longer live with us, he will want to go"},{"startTime":2566.034,"endTime":2567.544,"body":"live someplace else."},{"startTime":2567.665,"endTime":2572.448,"body":"So we went to see her and she was like, totally Academy Award material."},{"startTime":2572.448,"endTime":2579.933,"body":"She told him about how important his brain health was and that there was this place that"},{"startTime":2572.448,"endTime":2579.933,"body":"she knew of and he could live there, he could have his own apartment."},{"startTime":2579.933,"endTime":2585.197,"body":"Allison can visit you all the time, the boys can visit you all the time, but they won't be"},{"startTime":2579.933,"endTime":2585.197,"body":"getting into your stuff anymore."},{"startTime":2585.197,"endTime":2586.929,"body":"You're going to be so much happier."},{"startTime":2586.929,"endTime":2588.85,"body":"We got home from that appointment."},{"startTime":2588.85,"endTime":2591.492,"body":"He went upstairs and he packed a suitcase."},{"startTime":2592.353,"endTime":2594.664,"body":"He said, I'm ready to go home."},{"startTime":2595.214,"endTime":2604.969,"body":"I hear, it's so important to know when you say narcissism and how hard it was, the impact"},{"startTime":2595.214,"endTime":2604.969,"body":"of him on the boys, but the things he was saying, it's so important for people to"},{"startTime":2604.969,"endTime":2606.739,"body":"understand this is the disease."},{"startTime":2606.739,"endTime":2615.393,"body":"Because the man that you fell in love with that you said, I married him because I didn't"},{"startTime":2606.739,"endTime":2615.393,"body":"have to change him, this is so important to say, this is a terrible disease and this was"},{"startTime":2615.393,"endTime":2616.324,"body":"not him."},{"startTime":2616.324,"endTime":2620.565,"body":"And I want my kids to, I wish they could have seen who he really was."},{"startTime":2620.906,"endTime":2622.712,"body":"my gosh, absolutely."},{"startTime":2623.66,"endTime":2628.652,"body":"So I know it's, can't, I feel like we need another whole session."},{"startTime":2628.652,"endTime":2630.573,"body":"I feel like we've talked about this a lot."},{"startTime":2630.573,"endTime":2640.478,"body":"But I think this comes down to, because it's time for sister questions, but I wanna kind"},{"startTime":2630.573,"endTime":2640.478,"body":"of like, kind of tell me where you're at today."},{"startTime":2640.478,"endTime":2650.702,"body":"Tell me, kind of pull us forward, fast forward, because he's moved there, but tell us"},{"startTime":2640.478,"endTime":2650.702,"body":"where we are today, because you did something with this experience that."},{"startTime":2650.702,"endTime":2654.462,"body":"I don't think anybody would have thought, that was a hard right."},{"startTime":2654.842,"endTime":2656.702,"body":"So, yeah."},{"startTime":2656.974,"endTime":2658.134,"body":"Crazy stuff."},{"startTime":2658.134,"endTime":2658.374,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2658.374,"endTime":2659.774,"body":"So where I am today?"},{"startTime":2660.334,"endTime":2664.514,"body":"Well, I did have to go back to work eventually."},{"startTime":2664.514,"endTime":2665.274,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2665.274,"endTime":2665.534,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2665.534,"endTime":2669.794,"body":"And I decided to just do a career pivot and I got into dementia education."},{"startTime":2669.794,"endTime":2670.114,"body":"Okay."},{"startTime":2670.114,"endTime":2670.894,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2671.294,"endTime":2677.914,"body":"So I got certified in Washington state to teach classes that are mandated for anybody who"},{"startTime":2671.294,"endTime":2677.914,"body":"works in long-term care."},{"startTime":2677.914,"endTime":2681.654,"body":"I went through the whole Teepa Snow program, got all of those certifications."},{"startTime":2681.654,"endTime":2685.282,"body":"So I was in long-term care communities teaching."},{"startTime":2685.282,"endTime":2691.775,"body":"the people who were the boots on the ground professional caregivers wound up leaving that"},{"startTime":2685.282,"endTime":2691.775,"body":"and going to the University of Washington."},{"startTime":2691.775,"endTime":2695.347,"body":"I was there for three years with a group called the Memory and Brain Wellness Center."},{"startTime":2695.347,"endTime":2704.963,"body":"And so there too, I was working on education, but this time the students were primary care"},{"startTime":2695.347,"endTime":2704.963,"body":"providers who were trying to become better equipped to detect, diagnose, and support"},{"startTime":2704.963,"endTime":2705.803,"body":"people with dementia."},{"startTime":2705.803,"endTime":2713.847,"body":"So I managed a program where the teachers were neurologists, neuropsychologists, and it"},{"startTime":2705.803,"endTime":2713.847,"body":"was phenomenal."},{"startTime":2713.847,"endTime":2715.508,"body":"And I love, love, love that."},{"startTime":2715.538,"endTime":2727.157,"body":"Meanwhile, in the background, I had this idea for a tool that I wished that I had had when"},{"startTime":2715.538,"endTime":2727.157,"body":"Evan was living in long-term care and he'd gone nonverbal and it was really hard to find"},{"startTime":2727.157,"endTime":2728.788,"body":"anything to talk about."},{"startTime":2729.089,"endTime":2734.013,"body":"And so I used to bring magazines and books and I'd flip through pictures and have"},{"startTime":2729.089,"endTime":2734.013,"body":"conversations."},{"startTime":2734.013,"endTime":2740.168,"body":"And anyway, that led to me creating Zinnia TV, is what I do now."},{"startTime":2740.168,"endTime":2742.239,"body":"So Zinnia TV is a tool."},{"startTime":2742.32,"endTime":2743.471,"body":"It's a streaming service."},{"startTime":2743.471,"endTime":2744.341,"body":"It's an app, right?"},{"startTime":2744.341,"endTime":2745.482,"body":"It's an app that is a"},{"startTime":2745.482,"endTime":2758.457,"body":"service with content that is custom curated, it's research backed, and it is all about"},{"startTime":2745.482,"endTime":2758.457,"body":"creating opportunities to connect and have conversations with people who can't track a"},{"startTime":2758.457,"endTime":2763.729,"body":"plot, can't tell fact from fiction, can't process rapidly moving audio and video."},{"startTime":2764.19,"endTime":2766.37,"body":"It helps reduce agitation."},{"startTime":2766.451,"endTime":2767.901,"body":"We're doing follow-on research."},{"startTime":2767.901,"endTime":2774.614,"body":"We've done lots of research, but we're doing a follow-on study right now specifically"},{"startTime":2767.901,"endTime":2774.614,"body":"looking at Zinnia as a tool to reduce the use of antipsychotics."},{"startTime":2775.054,"endTime":2777.934,"body":"to reduce emergency room trips and long-term care."},{"startTime":2778.374,"endTime":2780.694,"body":"And it helps with activities of daily living."},{"startTime":2780.954,"endTime":2782.234,"body":"Oh, I love that."},{"startTime":2782.274,"endTime":2787.654,"body":"Long-term care communities and family caregivers use Zinnia as just kind of a go-to."},{"startTime":2787.654,"endTime":2795.134,"body":"Like, I know that when she's going to start getting really upset, I don't have to get all"},{"startTime":2787.654,"endTime":2795.134,"body":"freaked out because I've got the thing that is going to help her calm down."},{"startTime":2795.134,"endTime":2795.674,"body":"Yay."},{"startTime":2795.674,"endTime":2797.162,"body":"So that's what we're about."},{"startTime":2797.162,"endTime":2807.485,"body":"It is so all of the things and we're I know that we're going to list all of these things"},{"startTime":2797.162,"endTime":2807.485,"body":"because the tools that you have are amazing and I know that there are so many people."},{"startTime":2807.485,"endTime":2809.115,"body":"It's like the TV show for kids."},{"startTime":2809.115,"endTime":2810.194,"body":"You can set your kids down."},{"startTime":2810.194,"endTime":2816.587,"body":"It's like all that and I say children, but it's such a calming thing for them and learning"},{"startTime":2810.194,"endTime":2816.587,"body":"and and you know learning your colors and things like that."},{"startTime":2816.587,"endTime":2825.79,"body":"I think about things our sister did with her kids, but it is so it's such a tool and I"},{"startTime":2816.587,"endTime":2825.79,"body":"know there's so many people that don't know about it and I see."},{"startTime":2826.092,"endTime":2828.142,"body":"what your experience has led you to."},{"startTime":2828.142,"endTime":2834.262,"body":"I do wanna make sure everyone is aware, course, Evan did pass away in 2019."},{"startTime":2835.645,"endTime":2845.687,"body":"Tell me, because I do wanna make sure, you know, I see what you took away from this"},{"startTime":2835.645,"endTime":2845.687,"body":"experience and this amazing thing that you've done, but I wanna make sure that people"},{"startTime":2845.687,"endTime":2855.554,"body":"understand what that felt like for you, Allison, because a lot of caregivers will say, you"},{"startTime":2845.687,"endTime":2855.554,"body":"know, I had this journey, and this is hard for me."},{"startTime":2855.554,"endTime":2863.508,"body":"People talk about, how wonderful this journey was, and we were, you all this, and you have"},{"startTime":2855.554,"endTime":2863.508,"body":"been very open to say, this was hard, this was hard on my kids, it was very hard on my"},{"startTime":2863.508,"endTime":2873.772,"body":"marriage, I had to make hard decisions, but I want you to tell me, just, you tell me about"},{"startTime":2863.508,"endTime":2873.772,"body":"where you were and how you felt at that time, where Evan was when he passed away."},{"startTime":2874.914,"endTime":2876.219,"body":"Yeah, wow."},{"startTime":2882.454,"endTime":2888.479,"body":"When Evan passed away, I was ready."},{"startTime":2888.479,"endTime":2893.023,"body":"I know that people like, I was coming, but I just wasn't ready for it."},{"startTime":2893.124,"endTime":2894.385,"body":"I was ready."},{"startTime":2894.385,"endTime":2904.994,"body":"It broke my heart to see who he had become and to see he was so frail."},{"startTime":2904.994,"endTime":2909.498,"body":"He had got down to probably he was six, one."},{"startTime":2910.471,"endTime":2912.292,"body":"good weight for him, 190 pounds."},{"startTime":2912.292,"endTime":2914.713,"body":"He was probably down to like 120 pounds maybe."},{"startTime":2914.713,"endTime":2917.815,"body":"I mean, he was just this frail person."},{"startTime":2917.815,"endTime":2919.907,"body":"He was in pain all the time."},{"startTime":2919.907,"endTime":2925.441,"body":"His FTD, he started getting ALS-like symptoms, which is not uncommon."},{"startTime":2925.441,"endTime":2926.241,"body":"Those go together."},{"startTime":2926.241,"endTime":2929.213,"body":"And so he had like these, his fingers would rupture."},{"startTime":2929.213,"endTime":2931.084,"body":"We had surgery to release his fingers."},{"startTime":2931.084,"endTime":2934.71,"body":"I mean, it was just trying to make life bearable for him."},{"startTime":2934.71,"endTime":2936.799,"body":"And it got to a point where he could no longer swallow."},{"startTime":2936.799,"endTime":2939.19,"body":"He would choke on everything."},{"startTime":2939.922,"endTime":2945.265,"body":"And I think the hardest part was not having any training."},{"startTime":2945.302,"endTime":2949.289,"body":"A message to everybody is like, read a book or something."},{"startTime":2949.289,"endTime":2951.91,"body":"Learn about how you help someone die."},{"startTime":2952.202,"endTime":2953.951,"body":"I didn't."},{"startTime":2954.012,"endTime":2956.514,"body":"And I really didn't understand what it would be like."},{"startTime":2956.514,"endTime":2958.635,"body":"And I gathered people in the room."},{"startTime":2958.635,"endTime":2959.806,"body":"had somebody on guitar."},{"startTime":2959.806,"endTime":2962.417,"body":"I guess we're supposed to be like, kumbaya, I don't know."},{"startTime":2962.858,"endTime":2965.5,"body":"And so I think that we did a pretty good job."},{"startTime":2965.5,"endTime":2968.93,"body":"But at the same time, even though I was ready for him to go,"},{"startTime":2968.93,"endTime":2970.731,"body":"It was so hard to let him go."},{"startTime":2970.731,"endTime":2978.244,"body":"And it's so hard as a family caregiver too, when you're on hospice, the hospice people are"},{"startTime":2970.731,"endTime":2978.244,"body":"like, and if he needs it, give him morphine."},{"startTime":2978.244,"endTime":2983.016,"body":"And you're like, I don't feel qualified to be doing this."},{"startTime":2983.256,"endTime":2985.077,"body":"Like give him morphine."},{"startTime":2985.077,"endTime":2993.7,"body":"so you're like, how much do I, anyway, so the end there was like question marks and"},{"startTime":2985.077,"endTime":2993.7,"body":"concerns, but our family rallied."},{"startTime":2994.381,"endTime":2997.282,"body":"My younger son had not seen his dad in two years."},{"startTime":2997.282,"endTime":2998.104,"body":"Yeah."},{"startTime":2999.142,"endTime":3001.423,"body":"because it was just too hard for him."},{"startTime":3001.423,"endTime":3006.602,"body":"And I remember I came home and I said, if you're going to go see your dad, you're going to"},{"startTime":3001.423,"endTime":3006.602,"body":"need to do it."},{"startTime":3006.602,"endTime":3010.483,"body":"If you want to see him before he dies, you need to go now and see his dad."},{"startTime":3010.483,"endTime":3012.306,"body":"And he was like, daddy's dying?"},{"startTime":3012.306,"endTime":3014.786,"body":"And I was like, wow, where have you been?"},{"startTime":3016.007,"endTime":3017.167,"body":"Dad's dying."},{"startTime":3017.167,"endTime":3017.757,"body":"And he did."},{"startTime":3017.757,"endTime":3018.367,"body":"He rallied."},{"startTime":3018.367,"endTime":3019.048,"body":"He came."},{"startTime":3019.048,"endTime":3020.968,"body":"My other son flew in from college."},{"startTime":3020.968,"endTime":3023.069,"body":"My sisters came in from the East Coast."},{"startTime":3023.069,"endTime":3023.899,"body":"We were with him."},{"startTime":3023.899,"endTime":3025.549,"body":"He was in my arms."},{"startTime":3026.09,"endTime":3028.21,"body":"I don't think it could have been any better."},{"startTime":3028.679,"endTime":3032.861,"body":"And he was just an amazing trooper."},{"startTime":3032.861,"endTime":3034.247,"body":"He was a trooper at the end."},{"startTime":3034.247,"endTime":3035.95,"body":"I really saw him waiting."},{"startTime":3035.95,"endTime":3037.632,"body":"I would say, can you wait till Linda gets here?"},{"startTime":3037.632,"endTime":3038.994,"body":"Just wait till Linda gets here."},{"startTime":3038.994,"endTime":3039.665,"body":"Linda got there."},{"startTime":3039.665,"endTime":3041.027,"body":"like, just wait till Tess gets here."},{"startTime":3041.027,"endTime":3041.638,"body":"Just wait."},{"startTime":3041.638,"endTime":3042.84,"body":"And he hung on."},{"startTime":3042.84,"endTime":3044.512,"body":"And yeah."},{"startTime":3044.758,"endTime":3055.199,"body":"I hear in your voice though, and I've heard it throughout, you've taken all of this and"},{"startTime":3044.758,"endTime":3055.199,"body":"you've found a piece, but you have found a way to, and I get all, you know, I'm not"},{"startTime":3055.199,"endTime":3060.315,"body":"getting my Kleenex, you empower so many people with this hard road that you have taken."},{"startTime":3060.315,"endTime":3063.888,"body":"And I'm just so impressed with everything that you've done, Allison."},{"startTime":3063.888,"endTime":3064.869,"body":"Thank you so much."},{"startTime":3064.869,"endTime":3066.28,"body":"I'm just, yeah."},{"startTime":3067.296,"endTime":3068.677,"body":"It's impressive."},{"startTime":3068.677,"endTime":3079.438,"body":"I think that we're yeah, I think it's grateful that you're willing that you're open to"},{"startTime":3068.677,"endTime":3079.438,"body":"sharing this because this is the hardest part of your life and you're watching the person"},{"startTime":3079.438,"endTime":3086.075,"body":"that you care about the most change and and not change in a good way, but change in"},{"startTime":3079.438,"endTime":3086.075,"body":"decline."},{"startTime":3086.075,"endTime":3087.346,"body":"And I agree with you."},{"startTime":3087.346,"endTime":3091.73,"body":"I'm so grateful for you to say read a book about how to how to die."},{"startTime":3091.73,"endTime":3103.77,"body":"Like you need to know and our society is so against aging and it's so against we don't"},{"startTime":3091.73,"endTime":3103.77,"body":"want to talk about death and the reality is is that death could be a different experience"},{"startTime":3103.77,"endTime":3120.174,"body":"if you're informed be informed and you know, I think You know, I think that's so important"},{"startTime":3103.77,"endTime":3120.174,"body":"and I am so thankful to you for creating Zinnia Because I think that it's going I mean"},{"startTime":3120.472,"endTime":3124.185,"body":"Dementia is is is so fast growing."},{"startTime":3124.185,"endTime":3126.226,"body":"There is a national strategy for it."},{"startTime":3126.226,"endTime":3136.073,"body":"And so for in the US for all of our other listeners and and and and if you don't have it"},{"startTime":3126.226,"endTime":3136.073,"body":"in your country, come and take a look at the dementia strategy and how you advocate for"},{"startTime":3136.073,"endTime":3137.834,"body":"that in your where you live."},{"startTime":3137.834,"endTime":3144.149,"body":"But I'm like I feel like Zinnia should be on all the cable shows like hey Cox pick up"},{"startTime":3137.834,"endTime":3144.149,"body":"Zinnia."},{"startTime":3144.149,"endTime":3145.57,"body":"You've got the kitty programming."},{"startTime":3145.57,"endTime":3148.96,"body":"Have some have some different programming because I think about like."},{"startTime":3148.96,"endTime":3160.019,"body":"Mom could probably appreciate even probably watching the content because you know as we"},{"startTime":3148.96,"endTime":3160.019,"body":"age though we we process differently our brain changes and I think that's so important so"},{"startTime":3160.019,"endTime":3171.008,"body":"that it's important to have programming that supports brain health and and at least"},{"startTime":3160.019,"endTime":3171.008,"body":"maintains and and tries to help move that forward and maintain as long as possible."},{"startTime":3171.068,"endTime":3174.771,"body":"I know it's time for sister questions because I'm going to take the time to do it."},{"startTime":3175.352,"endTime":3178.555,"body":"So and we're a little over time but that's okay Andy we love you."},{"startTime":3178.555,"endTime":3181.681,"body":"And he's our producer, so we're like, yeah, Andy, we know."},{"startTime":3182.505,"endTime":3186.033,"body":"But Jay, what is the question that you have for Allison?"},{"startTime":3187.02,"endTime":3192.155,"body":"Gosh, I keep saying I'm so grateful because I'm just, ugh."},{"startTime":3192.276,"endTime":3199.664,"body":"What is a message that you would give someone that is starting their journey with someone"},{"startTime":3192.276,"endTime":3199.664,"body":"that has just been diagnosed with FDD?"},{"startTime":3199.664,"endTime":3202.016,"body":"What is one thing that you would share with them?"},{"startTime":3205.064,"endTime":3207.756,"body":"them more as I look back."},{"startTime":3207.756,"endTime":3208.006,"body":"Right?"},{"startTime":3208.006,"endTime":3214.272,"body":"The one thing that I think, we'll always look back and think like, I should have done this"},{"startTime":3208.006,"endTime":3214.272,"body":"or that differently."},{"startTime":3214.272,"endTime":3222.979,"body":"And the one thing I really wish I'd done differently is think about what does it feel like"},{"startTime":3214.272,"endTime":3222.979,"body":"physically to be in his body that is not working so well anymore?"},{"startTime":3222.979,"endTime":3225.461,"body":"Especially once he was bedridden."},{"startTime":3225.461,"endTime":3228.704,"body":"I'd come in and I'd rub his feet, but I thought, you know what would have been really"},{"startTime":3225.461,"endTime":3228.704,"body":"good?"},{"startTime":3228.704,"endTime":3233.769,"body":"To like rub his feet and rub his legs and rub his hands and rub his arms."},{"startTime":3233.769,"endTime":3235.532,"body":"I just wish I'd thought more about."},{"startTime":3235.532,"endTime":3244.964,"body":"what it feels like physically to be in his body and had given him more physical, more"},{"startTime":3235.532,"endTime":3244.964,"body":"physical touch and love towards the end."},{"startTime":3245.53,"endTime":3249.111,"body":"Well, you know, but in the end, I think that's as much for you too."},{"startTime":3249.111,"endTime":3255.323,"body":"It's for him, but also because what that does is it pulls back the closeness of what,"},{"startTime":3249.111,"endTime":3255.323,"body":"where you began."},{"startTime":3255.323,"endTime":3262.385,"body":"Like touch is so important and that touch is a connection point."},{"startTime":3262.385,"endTime":3273.718,"body":"It's not just words, it's being present with, but when you go and you touch someone, when"},{"startTime":3262.385,"endTime":3273.718,"body":"you give that hug, it's so regulating to, especially when you, if you are a quick hugger,"},{"startTime":3273.848,"endTime":3278.172,"body":"Hug somebody for about 15 to 20 seconds and you are going to feel magical."},{"startTime":3278.172,"endTime":3279.164,"body":"Hug away."},{"startTime":3279.164,"endTime":3280.584,"body":"Take it longer."},{"startTime":3280.725,"endTime":3284.149,"body":"I'll always end with this question and I'm gonna end on a lighter note."},{"startTime":3284.149,"endTime":3287.532,"body":"I'm gonna ask you, Allison, I always do this."},{"startTime":3287.532,"endTime":3289.895,"body":"What is your favorite guilty pleasure?"},{"startTime":3289.895,"endTime":3293.718,"body":"What is the one thing that you do just for you?"},{"startTime":3296.984,"endTime":3297.98,"body":"can be anything."},{"startTime":3297.98,"endTime":3300.019,"body":"What do you love to do just for you?"},{"startTime":3300.61,"endTime":3305.008,"body":"You know, I think that, well, probably reading a book."},{"startTime":3305.948,"endTime":3307.888,"body":"Do you hide when you do it?"},{"startTime":3307.888,"endTime":3309.294,"body":"Do you get a secret place?"},{"startTime":3309.294,"endTime":3310.214,"body":"out."},{"startTime":3311.475,"endTime":3312.615,"body":"Make a cup of tea."},{"startTime":3312.615,"endTime":3322.865,"body":"mean like truly being able to just disappear someplace with a book and just let go of all"},{"startTime":3312.615,"endTime":3322.865,"body":"of the things that I should be doing and allow myself to just be in this other world."},{"startTime":3323.658,"endTime":3326.619,"body":"Give yourself permission gosh Allison."},{"startTime":3326.619,"endTime":3326.97,"body":"my gosh."},{"startTime":3326.97,"endTime":3338.105,"body":"I feel like we could do so much more We are so going to make sure that we get you"},{"startTime":3326.97,"endTime":3338.105,"body":"connected with Zinnia TV because I think this is an advocating to everybody hey this needs"},{"startTime":3338.105,"endTime":3350.11,"body":"to be Included in your programming this needs to people need to have access and and it's"},{"startTime":3338.105,"endTime":3350.11,"body":"for all And it's what I will say is for all so please guys"},{"startTime":3350.466,"endTime":3351.574,"body":"Check this out."},{"startTime":3351.574,"endTime":3353.845,"body":"What's the website that they can find out?"},{"startTime":3354.09,"endTime":3357.683,"body":"It's www.Zinniatv.com."},{"startTime":3357.683,"endTime":3361.256,"body":"That's Z-I-N-N-I-A-T-V.com."},{"startTime":3361.256,"endTime":3369.162,"body":"It's named after the Zinnia flower because I'm a mad gardener and Zinnias grow even in"},{"startTime":3361.256,"endTime":3369.162,"body":"really, really crappy conditions."},{"startTime":3369.454,"endTime":3370.625,"body":"I love it."},{"startTime":3370.625,"endTime":3371.595,"body":"love that."},{"startTime":3372.256,"endTime":3373.606,"body":"Alright, Zinni, I love that."},{"startTime":3373.606,"endTime":3376.047,"body":"Now I didn't know that, but I love when we walked away with some education."},{"startTime":3376.047,"endTime":3376.588,"body":"know it."},{"startTime":3376.588,"endTime":3385.602,"body":"Allison, thank you so much for being with us and we are so privileged and until we confess"},{"startTime":3376.588,"endTime":3385.602,"body":"again we will see you next time."},{"startTime":3385.602,"endTime":3386.178,"body":"Bye bye."},{"startTime":3386.178,"endTime":3386.801,"body":"beautiful."},{"startTime":3386.801,"endTime":3387.882,"body":"Thank you."},{"startTime":3388.578,"endTime":3391.58,"body":"Well, friends, that's a wrap on this week's confession."},{"startTime":3391.58,"endTime":3393.952,"body":"Thanks so much for listening in to the podcast."},{"startTime":3393.952,"endTime":3400.727,"body":"Before you go, please take a moment to leave us a review and tell your friends about the"},{"startTime":3393.952,"endTime":3400.727,"body":"confession show."},{"startTime":3400.727,"endTime":3410.654,"body":"Don't forget, visit our website to sign up for our newsletter, as well as connect with us"},{"startTime":3400.727,"endTime":3410.654,"body":"on Facebook, Instagram, LinkedIn, Pinterest, and Twitter."},{"startTime":3410.654,"endTime":3417.598,"body":"You'll also find the video recording of all our episodes on the Confessions website and"},{"startTime":3410.654,"endTime":3417.598,"body":"our YouTube channel."},{"startTime":3417.634,"endTime":3421.658,"body":"We'll see you next Tuesday when we come together to confess again."},{"startTime":3421.658,"endTime":3423.549,"body":"Till then, take care of you."},{"startTime":3423.549,"endTime":3427.242,"body":"Okay, let's talk disclaimers."},{"startTime":3427.242,"endTime":3432.146,"body":"We are not medical professionals and are not providing any medical advice."},{"startTime":3432.146,"endTime":3439.212,"body":"If you have medical questions, we recommend that you talk with a medical professional of"},{"startTime":3432.146,"endTime":3439.212,"body":"your choice."},{"startTime":3439.212,"endTime":3446.072,"body":"As always, my sisters and I at Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver have taken care in"},{"startTime":3439.212,"endTime":3446.072,"body":"selecting the speakers"},{"startTime":3446.072,"endTime":3449.244,"body":"but the opinions of our speakers are theirs alone."},{"startTime":3449.265,"endTime":3458.432,"body":"The views and opinions stated in this show are solely those of the contributors and not"},{"startTime":3449.265,"endTime":3458.432,"body":"necessarily those of our distributors or hosting company."},{"startTime":3458.432,"endTime":3467.338,"body":"This podcast is copyrighted and no part can be reproduced without the express written"},{"startTime":3458.432,"endTime":3467.338,"body":"consent of the Sisterhood of Care, LLC."},{"startTime":3467.439,"endTime":3471.762,"body":"Thank you for listening to the Confessions of a Reluctant Caregiver podcast."}]}