Thriving is not a destination: How to nourish your body, mind & nervous system

For a long time, I believed thriving was something I needed to figure out. Something I could think my way into.

But through motherhood, healing, and learning to listen to my body, I discovered something different. Thriving isn’t something you arrive at. It’s something you practice.

In this episode of Thrive Like a Mother, we talk about what it actually means to build a life that supports you instead of draining you. We explore how food, rest, emotions, and nervous system regulation are not afterthoughts , but the foundation of thriving.

In this episode you’ll learn:

• Why thriving starts in your body
• How ignoring your body’s signals keeps you stuck in survival mode
• Why mothers often disconnect from their own needs
• Small daily practices that help you move from surviving to thriving

I also share how learning to nourish my body, slow down, and respond to my needs has changed how I show up as a mother and entrepreneur.

And if food and meal planning feel like one of the biggest barriers to nourishing yourself right now, I share how my Kitchen Confidence Sessions help moms build real-life systems for feeding themselves and their families with ease.

Thriving isn’t perfection. It’s listening, responding, and practicing care for yourself again and again.

Follow and chat with me on Instagram:

Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast

Personal account - @thrive.empowered

Sending you light and love always!

Transcript

Thriving Starts In The Body

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But here's what I learned, especially through motherhood and healing in my own journey and learning how to listen to my body and when it's telling me to slow down, is that thriving is not something that happens in theory. It's not something we can think our way to. It truly starts here in your body, in your heart, and your mind. Hey love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a Mother, a podcast for women who are ready to slow down, nourish themselves, and build lives that feel anchored and intentional instead of rushed. If you're tired of surviving and ready to thrive physically, mentally, and spiritually, you're in the right place. Each week I share ground up conversations and practical rhythms to help you regulate your nervous system, strengthen your relationship with food and rest, and return to yourself. So love, take a breath. You don't have to do this alone. Let's thrive together. Hey y'all, welcome back to Thrive Like a Mother. Uh, today's conversation, y'all, is one that I feel deeply within my own body. So this is gonna be um definitely a more personal episode. Um and it's not just something that I feel in my body, but also just in my thoughts. Because, you know, for the longest time, I really believed that thriving was something that I was supposed to like figure out. How can I figure out how to thrive? And being the analytical person that I am, um, I thought it was something that I could just think my way into. That if I just learned enough, I would start thriving. I would start doing that thing that I wanted so badly, that I could like plan it or eventually like I will arrive at this moment where I am just thriving in everyday life. But here's what I learned, especially through motherhood and healing in my own journey and learning how to listen to my body and when it's telling me to slow down, is that thriving is not something that happens in theory. It's not something we can think our way to. It truly starts here in your body, in your heart, and your mind. It's not a destination to say, like, yes, check success, we've done it. It's not a title that we can add to maybe some of the titles we already have. It truly is a practice that we have to return to again and again. Because, like I said, it isn't something that you get to and you're like, okay, now I'm thriving in everyday life. Life is gonna happen. And so we are constantly going to need to come back to this practice of thriving. And so today, what we're really gonna be talking about is how and really like what it looks like to truly build a life that supports us instead of feeling like we're getting drained trying to figure this thing out, this thing called life. Really, truly a life where things like food and rest and emotions, they aren't things that are afterthoughts in the things that we try to achieve each day, but they are what anchors us. So many of us, me included, were taught to override our bodies. I was talking to someone the other day and talking about just how I don't even really remember something as simple as having consistent doctor's appointments, um, which is something that I now set up for my kids. But I was that kid that would just push through, just override whatever my body was telling me. I was like, nope, I've got things to do. I've got to be at school, pushing past the hunger, pushing past the exhaustion, dismissing the signals my body was giving me and telling it, like, I can't deal with this right now. This is an inconvenient time for you to do this to me. Um, and so what ended up happening for me is that I learned how to function within ignoring those signals instead of actually feeling them and doing something about them. I learned how to survive instead of listening to my intuition and my trust. And here's what happens when we ignore our body constantly. When we don't look at those signals and do something about them, every time we push past, we end up instead of pushing forward, we end up actually stuck. Because our body truly does keep score. It is not as much as you may forget, okay. Yes, my body was giving me this signal, your body will still remember that you ignored that signal. And every time you push past the burnout, push past anxiety, push past the exhaustion. Every single time that we are disconnecting from ourselves, making that choice, our body is keeping score of when we're doing that. And what thriving does is create a switch within us to ask something different. To say, I know I've been ignoring you. I know I've been pushing past the exhaustion, I know I've been doing the things, but now I want to thrive. I don't want to ignore these signals anymore. And instead of ignoring it, thriving asks us to show up differently and be honest about when we need to slow down. And when we do notice those signals, knowing exactly what to do to take care of ourselves. And that's something as a survivor that I had to learn. It is a muscle that I had to really train to myself, you're trying to ignore this signal. Don't ignore it. Take a moment and pause, right? And especially as mothers, right? There's so many times where we push back past our own needs, our own feelings, because sometimes we may feel like they're not as high as priority as the babies' signals that we need to take care of. Um, the husband signals that we need to take care of, or the friend signals, the family, all the things, right? Embodiment of thriving matters even more. Even more as a mother. Because not only have you have we grown up to push past these signals, now we've become mothers. And the signals are no longer coming from just us, they're also coming from other people, right? And so now we have to not only teach ourselves how not to ignore our signals, but how not to ignore them when you're also getting other signals from other people, which is also another muscle that needs to be trained to say, do I need to take care of this right now? Like our our kids are watching, y'all. I say it so often. Our kids are watching, they're getting their examples of how to show up in this world, you know, when they do come to adulthood, how to show up in this world exactly as like mom and dad did it. We're their examples. And so because they're watching how we nourish ourselves, how we respond to stress, how we rest or don't, how we respond to our own signals or don't, they're watching if we are pushing past all the things that are telling us to pause, to slow down. And so when we continue to live in the cycle of being disconnected from our bodies and saying, I know you're giving me a signal, but I've got other things to deal with right now. What happens is we're not only teaching our bodies that we want to push past those signals, but we're also unintentionally modeling that that is okay for our kids, for them to disconnect from their feelings in their signals. And I know there's so many mothers out there who are just like, oh shit, they are watching at that level. Yes. But here's the thing: when you start to impractice the embodiment of thriving, when we decide to pause, when we decide to slow down, when we decide to not ignore the hunger and actually eat and nourish ourselves and take a breath and say, I'm tired and say I'm going to rest. When we decide to regulate our nervous systems and our minds, we create safety again within ourselves, but not just for us, but for our kids, our kids that are watching us. They start to pick up on that example. We start to model for them. When you become an adult, even now, not even when you become an adult, right now, because they start mimicking what we do now. They will start to say, you know what, I'm not gonna push past. I'm hungry. I'm going to let the people that take care of me know. And when they're adults and they get that same, you know, they get those same signals, they now have grown up learning exactly what to do, what it means to thrive. This is such a powerful word. This type of embodiment is how we become this grounding presence in our family. And it's not because like we want to be perfect, right? I think some people may look at the word thrive or hear the word I'm thriving, you know, hear the phrase I'm thriving in life, and think, oh yeah, that is like perfection, right? It's not that. To me, thriving truly means that we are listening and not just listening, but listening and reacting. Because you can listen and you can still ignore something that is trying to get your attention. But truly listening and responding to the signal that your body gives you that's not perfection, that is just really taking care of you. And I want us to start shifting this idea of thriving. So even if you have thought of like, gosh, yeah, I hear that saying, like thriving in life. And I'm like, yeah, they have like the perfect life and things like that. I want to shift that mindset for you today and just how we approach it on the podcast in our community, that it's not about doing everything right. It is about truly practicing and training that muscle, giving yourself those acts of care consistently on a regular basis. So it even looks like asking yourself throughout the day, maybe not even waiting for the signal, but asking yourself the simple questions, right? Am I hungry? Am I tired? Do I need to slow down? Do I need to shift my priorities for the day? It looks like deciding on meals that nourish you instead of cause restriction, foods that really do fuel you for the work that you need to produce or the way you need to show up in the world. It looks like truly resting before you're completely depleted. And now I'm gonna pause here because as a mom, especially in a season of a mom of an almost two-year-old, by the time you guys watch this, he will be two. I know mamas, the newborn life, the sleep regressions. It is so, and so sometimes if you're listening to this and you're like, man, that sounds great, Ebony. Resting before I'm completely depleted, what if you're up at two, three, four, five in the morning, six in the morning? I'm there right now. So I'm gonna give you another one, even not even just resting before you're completely depleted, but allowing yourself to rest when you are. So saying, like, I've been up for some hours at night. Right now, for me, priorities need to shift so that I can get the extra rest that I need. Whether that's a cat nap of 30 minutes during the day while the baby is sleeping, whether that's me, what I like to do is actually go back to bed in the morning after getting them ready and everything, giving myself another extra 30 minutes in the morning. And I create that space within my day. Now, does it mean that other things shift too? Yes. But I want you to remember that these choices that you're making, you ask yourself these questions on how to support you so often because things are gonna shift, because nothing in life, especially as a mother, is permanent. There are temporary seasons, seasons where you are gonna be up at two in the morning with the baby, wondering, like, why are we up? We should be sleeping. And that season is not gonna be forever. But as you're practicing this embodiment of thriving, you do need to ask yourself constantly, every single day, definitely more than once a day. What is it that I need in this moment? What is it that I need in this season to thrive? I'm gonna get to the last one here because I had to pause at that resting because we're um we're realistic on here, right? We're realistic. I know that if I'm up at 2 a.m., there's at least five other mamas that I know that are also up with me. So I had to pause and address that. But number three, first of all, let's go back. Let's do a recap. Choosing the meals that nourish and fuel you looks like resting before you're completely depleted or when you are. And then number three, letting your emotions move through you instead of pushing them down. That particular one right there is a muscle that I have had to train for years and years to not push aside. I'm getting angry at this moment or I'm feeling sad. You know, sometimes, especially we as mothers, we feel like, you know, there's not enough space for us to feel our own emotions. And I'm here to tell you there absolutely 100% is more than enough space for you to feel and move through those emotions. Every single time you make a choice to honor your body, to honor the signals. Every single time those moments compound, they add up over time. They start to help you actually build a life that feels supportive. You start to live a life where you are thriving, where you can say, you know what, I am thriving in life because I am no longer ignoring the signals that my mind and my body are giving me. It's going to start to help you live a life that feels sustainable instead of feeling overwhelming all the time. And I want to take a pause right here and talk about nourishment because I know there's a lot of mamas listening right now where you're like, yeah, Ebony, nourishment sounds great. It sounds great to know that I will not have to push past my hunger signals. When it comes to real life, feeding yourself, feeding a family, making sense of meals day in and day out, I know that that can feel overwhelming. I know that it can. And this is the reason truly that I created my kitchen confidence sessions. So if you don't know what those are, let's just take a pause and chat about these real quick because I know that feeding ourselves, feeding a family is something in life as mothers that we can struggle with thriving in or feeling like we're thriving in it. And so my kitchen confidence sessions, they are one-on-one time for me and you. So imagine me talking directly to you on this podcast, but it's just me and you over a video call where we sit down and we actually look at your real life, right? What does your schedule look like? What does your energy look like? What is your family dynamic look like, right? And we start to actually build a way. We build a rhythm, we build systems within your real life to support you and not only nourishing your family, but yourself as well. It is important for you to eat. And I want you to, especially after a kitchen confidence session, you're gonna feel supported instead of feeling like, oh my gosh, this is that thing that stresses me out. Because thriving like in your body is not just like a mindset. We can say it all day, but we have to take action. And having systems in place, having the support in place makes it easier for you to do that consistently. And if food is one of those things, you know, when we were going through our areas of where we want to stop ignoring those signals, if food is one of those things that you feel like drains you more than anything right now, like having to come up with a meal for yourself and however many other people are in your family, like I want you to know that you don't have to figure this out alone. Like nothing in life we have to figure out alone. But specifically the food area, that is my forte. That is why I am the kitchen wing woman that I am. And if you are feeling like you need more support in that area, I'm gonna pop some details in the show notes for you. And I want you to take advantage of it. Hop in my DM, send me a message to see how I can fully support you in feeding yourself and your family. Y'all, for so many of us, this pushing past our signals, it has been default. Push through, ignore your sick, it's fine. Push through. You have to give 110% push harder. All the things I heard throughout my childhood and just carried into my adulthood that I have now had to retrain myself to think differently, to think and know that listening and taking action is where the real change happens. Listening to your body does not mean that you're gonna give up on the goals that you have. Trust me, those goals, those dreams, they will still be there. But what it does mean is that you are making a choice to move toward them in a way that doesn't cost you your health, your joy, or your peace. Because what would it look like finally getting to that goal that you have on your lips or that dream that you've had on your heart? And you get there and you're burnt out and you can't even enjoy or celebrate that you made it to that goal. So let's get there supported, let's get there actually thriving. Before we close today, I want to take a moment and a pause to land. So if you are in a safe place, I want you to take one hand, place it on your chest, and the other, and I want you to place that on your stomach. And we're gonna take a slow breath in and let it go. And the reflection I want to leave you with today is what does my body need from me today? And I said today, not tomorrow, not next week, today. Let's start listening to those signals now. And it doesn't mean that you have to immediately fix something because what I don't want is for you to listen to the signal and then feel like that's another thing you have to put on your to-do list. Listen, observe, and then give yourself some time to continue doing that and start responding to what that signal is giving you. All right. So as we as we wrap up today, I want you to remember this. Thriving is not something that you achieve like once. It's not the goalpost that you just move on. You're like, okay, I made it, I did it, I'm thriving. It's something that you have to practice all the time. And it's in how we eat, how we rest, how we respond to our emotions and our feelings, how we move through our days. And you're allowed to build a life that actually supports you. You're allowed to nourish and fuel your body instead of depleting it, instead of boring everything out every single day. You're allowed to listen instead of pushing past, pushing harder, ignoring those signals. And thriving and doesn't happen just like up here in our head. It also happens in our body, in our minds, in our hearts. All of it. We must embody all of it. So thank you for being here with me today. I will meet you right back here next week and we will continue this season. The theme is returning to ourselves. So I'll see you here next week. And remember, make one embodied choice at a tie. Thank you so much for listening, love. If anything in today's episode resonated with you, share it with your bestie or share it on social media and tag me so we can chat about it. As always, sending you light and love. And remember, you are worthy, you are enough, and you deserve to thrive.