You’re not alone: The truth about support, community, and being seen with Laura Parr

If you’ve ever felt like you’re doing everything on your own… this episode is for you.

In part two of this conversation with Laura Parr, we shift from identity and alignment into something just as important — community, support, and being seen.

Because the truth is, many of us aren’t actually alone…

we’re just focused on the people who aren’t showing up.

In this episode, we talk about:

• Why you may have more support than you realize
• How to stop giving power to people who aren’t in your corner
• The role of community in healing and growth
• Letting yourself be supported (without guilt)
• Showing up authentically and giving others permission to do the same
• The deeper meaning behind Seasoned Conversations

If you’ve been craving connection, feeling unseen, or questioning who’s really in your corner… this conversation will shift your perspective.

And if you're local to Atlanta, GA we'd love to see you at the table on May 9th at Seasoned Conversations.

Follow and chat with me on Instagram:

Podcast account - @thrivelikeamother.podcast

Personal account - @thrive.empowered

Sending you light and love always!

Transcript

Who Is Really In Your Corner

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Well, I think that's for the listener, that is something that you need to know is that you have more people in your corner there to support you. I think at times we think more about the people that are not in our corner than we do. You give them way too much power. Correct. And I'm like, do you really want those crusty people that don't believe in your power in your corner?

SPEAKER_00 0:23

Hey love, I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a Mother, a podcast for women who are ready to slow down, nourish themselves, and build lives that feel anchor and intentional instead of rest. If you're tired of surviving and ready to thrive physically, mentally, and spiritually, you're in the right place. Each week, I should ground up conversations and practical rhythm to help you regulate your nervous system, strengthen your relationship with food and rest, and return to yourself. Let's take a breath. Let's thrive together. Hey y'all, welcome back to part two of this conversation with Laura on the Thrive Like a Mother podcast. Before we get into it, I want to address something from part one. If part one was stirring something within you around alignment and feeling like you are not enough, this part is where we go just a little bit deeper. So we're going to be talking about support, community, and what it actually looks like to be surrounded by people who not only see you, but they hold space for you and remind you of who you are when you forget. Because honestly, the truth is a lot of us aren't as alone as we think we are. So let's get into the episode.

Building The Menu As Friends

SPEAKER_03 1:55

Okay. So let's talk about season conversation. Like Laura was just talking about, like in this season where she does have more time, she was my co-chef. Just by force.

SPEAKER_02 2:07

I didn't feel like it was a work. Like for her, she was stressed about it, but I was just like in her kitchen, just like this knit's basil, and this knit's oil, and this nits a little bit. Like, so I was just having fun with it. I didn't realize that I had an important part, which is so me-coded, but yes, it was fun.

SPEAKER_03 2:28

Okay. Well, you all know about season conversations. Yes, Laura was and is my co-chef. And we want to chat with you about what's coming up next because she's like gonna literally be by my side again. Let's talk about just like what it felt like stepping into that space with me.

SPEAKER_02 2:50

I mean, you mean on the day or before?

SPEAKER_03 2:54

Maybe all of it. Like you saw all the behind scenes stressed out.

SPEAKER_02 2:59

Well, there were the first thing I was gonna say is prior to the event, I felt impressed. You think that that cry? My talent is to make Ebony cry in every conversation we have. That's more than two minutes. So this has been this is a record. I didn't make you cry the first two minutes, so but um I think I knew it was a goal of you yours, and you talked to me about it in November of last year when it was just an idea, and you had started doing the menu. And the first thing is like we went to Snooze, shout out to Snooze, that's huge. Um, and we were having a meal, and it was just normal. First off, we talked for four hours. I don't think anybody surprised. And I think when you speak 11 languages, you have options. You know what I mean? But we sat down and you were just like, hey, this is what I'm thinking for the menu. And you didn't ask me for any feedback, but you were just showing me just what you were ideating. And I'm a person that I'm um, I see. Um, I have this thing where I see color and numbers, and I can feel tastes and flavor before cooking. And I looked at some of your stuff and I was like, this is great. This is what I would do to enhance it. And there were a couple of things that maybe were a little out of the box from what you were thinking. And so that's how it started. It just started like a seasoned conversation. Seasoned conversations started like a seasoned conversation between friends, and then we ended up like ideating the entire menu that day because what we came up with that day, aside from the chicken thighs, yeah, chicken thighs, don't sleep on those, and they're cheaper. But what we talked about is what we ended up serving, and it all came from that conversation. And then you invited me to your house to do the cooking thing and the test kitchen. The whole menu. And the first thing was that you showed me your plan and just yo, she had like a whole sheet time spam. And I'm organized, but I'm also like the person that innovates and thinks outside of the box and takes risks. You're I would I would say you're more conservative in the risks you take. Yeah, I'm more like blow everything up and see what you can rescue.

SPEAKER_03 5:07

Oh my god.

SPEAKER_02 5:08

You know what I mean? Yes, it you would be like Jesus creating men, like the first rap, and then I'm like Jesus creating women, like that rap sucked. So I'm keeping the ribs. Start over. I'm keeping the ribs. That's pretty much all we can keep from this. Second iteration that would be me. And so I was just impressed with the layout you had, the options or recipes you had, how much, how many risks, because I know you as a person, you were willing to take in that moment. Yeah, to just uh a lot of things in that and that planning were very much upside of your comfort zone. And so we were there, and I I honestly hadn't thought about being there that day. I just wanted to ensure that you should you shown in your own regard. I am a person that and this is a new word for a lot of people, but I derive happiness from a sense of compersion. With compersion is the um is the action of feeling joy emanating from others' individuals' joy more than your own. For me, it feels like work. When I see her shine in her own stage, and there's a picture of me just looking at you, yes, shine, which is adorable.

SPEAKER_01 6:19

I was like, oh, I know what I was thinking in that moment.

SPEAKER_02 6:22

It's just seeing my loved ones that are getting outside of their comfort zone and taking a risk and all that shine. That is to me better. Like when I go to a jujitsu competition, I don't want to be on that mat. No, could I? Yes. But I'm like, absolutely. I couldn't, but do I want to? No. But I have friends that enjoy that, and so I will go to their competitions, I will root for that. I feel more joy in that moment than I feel doing it myself. Yeah. Because when you do it yourself, I feel like that's a lone ranger kind of work. When you do it with a team, then you win as a team. Yeah. And then it feels like you know what I mean, you all win. I was just impressed with that. And then we didn't change much of the recipes. I think I just elevated some of the preparation of the ingredients, like with the basil oil. It's the first thing I can think about. Um, if you went to season conversations and you were on a diet, there was a lot of butter.

SPEAKER_03 7:22

There was a lot of butter.

SPEAKER_02 7:25

There's a lot of cheese. There could have been more cheese, but I refused to grade Parmesan. That's another conversation. Listen, that worked out that day. For me, it was I was impressed and also I was joyful that you gave me a space to be part of it in what I thought was a small portion of seasoned conversations. She had a bigger idea of what I was gonna be for season conversation. Yeah, no, you didn't know. No, we didn't so confused. No, we did the test kitchen, we did all that, we had the meal. We the only change I remember making from the meal is that we moved from chicken breasts to chicken thighs because and that was a solid. Oh yeah. That was a solid choice. And then we decided that I was going to be handling the fire torch in the kitchen. Oh, yeah, the torch, the torching of the crumb blue bay. Guys, I was made for that. Bro, I was made for that. Even the ladies that were in the kitchen with me, they were like, Are you okay? And I'm like, oh great. I was such a demo child. I think that's another thing about me. My mom really wanted an early, uh Barbie situation, and she wouldn't put these dresses that look like pinatas on me with like the big bows. It would take her five hours to get me ready, and it would take me five minutes to look like homeless with like the bow on my cheek. The bow is gone. No, the bow was part on my cheek. Where did I find glue? God knows. The innts of the dress would be like pulled out, I'd be itchy, so I'd be like walking. Like, no, this cannot be like a Victorian woman running. There's videos, okay? I will find it. My mom called me her crazy fire girl. Oh my gosh. And she still does. And that's also why I love demo babies. That's what I call my babies that are like rowdy and obnoxious at church. They're my favorite. People think I'm crazy, but they're my favorite because I match their energy. They're so fun. But a lot of people don't like that room, the toddler room, because they're like the that transition where they're like, listen, right. That's where Henry is right now, by the way. Which her son likes me, except when I say no.

SPEAKER_03 9:33

Oh yeah. I think I'm one of the few people. No, my kids, they don't, especially Jade.

The Day Of Panic And A Dress

SPEAKER_02 9:38

Jade? Jade. When I say no to Jade, I don't know what it is, but I silence the room when I say no. She'll be walking straight in. I was like, I meant that with love. And she's like, okay. But I did teach her to cook, and that's one another thing that I really enjoyed about seasoned conversations was that I got to Ebony's children were there, and I got to include them in the maceration process of the spices, and on them seeing the chemistry and the change of of the stuff. So it was really special, and I loved seeing their little personalities come out. Olivia was a little bit more like you know, careful, and then she built up to it, and then Jade was like it was amazing. I was like, oh funny. It I love them so much, and then Olivia was like trying to go slow on the sauce, and then Jade was like, and I was like, okay, we're not gonna burn ourselves this milk today. Oh so all in all, um, it was a great experience to do it beforehand, and then on the day, can I talk about the hiccup?

SPEAKER_03 10:40

Oh yeah. Oh god, I'm just gonna say that it was God because yeah, everything that happened before me opening the event, yeah. Do you wanna do no? You speak away, speak away.

SPEAKER_02 10:59

So we were cooking, we were in the kitchen. I had to start taking layers off because if you're going through a hot flash and you're in a hot kitchen, mama, we're not doing this. I'm Colombian, but I'm not that Colombian. You know what I mean? Yeah, like the equator is not the place for me. And so we're cooking and all that, and it was time to get ready like 30 minutes before the event, and we go outside to get our bags, and I'm like grabbing my stuff, and you're like freaking out.

SPEAKER_04 11:23

Yeah.

Reframing Rejection As Protection

SPEAKER_02 11:23

And I'm like, what is happening? And you were like, I forgot my luggage bag. I was so busy with the ingredients and pouring so much into the event and thinking so much about this is very U-coded. Like, I would say you were thinking more about your guests and their experience than you were thinking about yourself. Very much. That you forgot, like the not the makeup. I think you had the makeup, but the whole outfit. My shoes. The bra, the shoes, the dress, uh, whatever she had envisioned for that. Mind you, I had this dress that I'd never worn that was red, and it was a little bigger on me because I've lost 30 pounds, and so your body changes, I become more muscular and all that. And I didn't know how it was gonna fit. I wasn't really sure what that was gonna look like for me. But as soon as I saw Ebony freaking out, I was like, this day is not about me. This day is about my friend. It's her day to shine. Nobody needs to see my face. Probably nobody will, because then I'll be in the kitchen directing people. And so I literally grabbed a dress from my bag and was like, you're wearing this. And she was like, No, that's your dress. And I basically had to like force her into this dress. Even my bra. Yes, the bra too, y'all. Like, it was everything. It was everything. And I ended up doing some of your makeup too. And I think it was God in that moment because that dress would have never looked as good on me as it did on her. You guys, she wore that dress, she put it on, and I was like, this dress is yours. Like, we're done. It's kind of like when an artist sees somebody do a cover of their own song, and you realize that it's much better on their voice than yours. That's yours. That is your dress now, and uh the shoes and the bra okay. Listen, too much information, but I literally put my hands inside the bra and made her. She really had to not that you need there's no like you had them, but also I'm Hispanic. We got all the beauty tricks, so I'm like doing it and like fixing her like a mannequin. And then you were doing your makeup, and I had some of my makeup that was a little bit like I was like, oh, I have expensive makeup. So I like did her entire face, and by the end of that moment, it felt like very godly. It felt like I'm gonna be where I'm supposed to be, supporting her in the kitchen so that she doesn't have to worry about anything really, and then she can shine in her quote unquote customer-facing role. And that felt very right, appropriate, congruent with our relationship. Because I've always just wanted to be there supporting you and like cheering you on behind. I just felt like that was what I was supposed to do. And I'm glad because you got, I saw the moment where you relaxed, you know what I mean? Like where you weren't checking on like if things were gonna be okay. Because I kept looking at y'all, I kept and I kept looking at her like I kept looking at her, like, shoot, go away. But I'd be like, you know, and I helped the girls in the kitchen, I helped her, I helped them plate so that it was on time, I helped them find ingredients in the fridge and all that. So I'm glad that on that day I could be your active kitchen manager. Um, and just there's something so special about seeing somebody that you love so much shine in their element. Where like you were part of the equation of the variable, but the result was all them, and they got to shine, and you were like, shout out to my people in the kitchen, and I was just like it felt really good.

SPEAKER_03 14:56

I think support has been something for me. I'm trying not to cry, it's been something for me that has been my muscle that I'm learning, right?

SPEAKER_02 15:09

It's been that you have way more support than you think you do. Yeah, yeah. Well, I think that's for the listener, that is something that you need to know is that you have more people in your corner in your to support you. I think at times we think more about the people that are not in our corner than we do. You give them way too much power. Correct. And I'm like, do you really want those crusty people that don't believe in your power in your corner? Girl, they have to wake up every single day and be themselves. You get to wake up every single day and be yourself. That sounds like a vibe. Yes. So we're not counting them. And I know it's hard as a muscle you have to work on, but for every person, what I used to do is like for every person that I was like, man, I feel bad that that person is not in my life. I would be like, first off, it's not rejection, it's redirection because God knows conversations that that you don't know. And also for every person that you're like, I don't have, think about the people that you do.

SPEAKER_01 16:10

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 16:10

And think about the quality of those people in your life. Do I have that friend that was my best friend 10 years ago? No, but you know who I have? Five other friends that are quality friends that love me for who I am today. I can call at 2 or 3 a.m. Like through there. Yeah, those are way more powerful in your life. And so you really have to ask yourself has God giving me rejection or was God protecting me for something I didn't know I needed protection from? You know what I mean? Like when things don't work out, a relationship don't work out, and then hindsight is 2020 when you see who they become. Just instead of waiting for that hindsight, just think about this is God protecting me from something.

Seasoned Conversations Returns May 9

SPEAKER_03 16:59

That you couldn't see. Yeah. Well, y'all, we're no gatekeepers around here. So season conversations is back May 9th, and that is Mother's Day weekend. So this is going to be extra special, especially coming from me who coming into this year. I said I'm only gonna do season conversations twice a year, and have since from that.

SPEAKER_02 17:24

I want Joel to know that when she told me that, I was like, okay, we'll talk in three months.

SPEAKER_03 17:28

Anyway, we're back May night, and we will be back every single quarter. This is this type of event, like me and Laura sitting on the couch, as women around the table, like these are the spaces that women need, that women are looking for.

SPEAKER_01 17:43

And men, yeah, I was surprised about that. That's true. My brother did show up. Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_03 17:49

Yeah, yes. This these are just spaces that we need as humans, and so creating this community um has meant something special for me. And I'm just I'm excited to just keep it going.

Authenticity As A Mental Health Skill

SPEAKER_02 18:05

Yeah. Me too. I've never I've always felt like a I think you said it at the beginning of the conversation, is I've always felt like I am a different person, and I grew up in an environment where being different didn't necessarily mean good. And so I got used to loving myself for being different and not counting on community actively. And it's been seasoned conversations and things happening in my life around this time that has made me realize that maybe my brand of different is an injection that's needed. Because I think many women and men ask for permission to be authentic and be confident, but happiness is a choice, just like authenticity is a choice, and you get to choose that every day. If I can inspire other people to do so, to be a dancer and to be a martial artist and to be sociable when you want to, but also to cancel plans because you just want to mask on a Friday night.

SPEAKER_01 19:02

Yes, let's do that.

SPEAKER_02 19:03

Yeah, because that's who I am. Just FYI if I've canceled plans with you. I probably did tell you I wanted to mask. 100%. I think I've done that with you.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

And I I love her for that because it's just like, you know, you never want to overextend yourself for what?

SPEAKER_02 19:21

For what? Well, it's not only that, when you're authentic, silently or loudly, you're giving other people permission to be authentic. Because after I remember the first time I said, Lissan, I really want to see you, but also my bed is really great today. And so you know what? You are right. Yeah, I need to say that more. And so I was just like, now you like now, Ebony will tell me, like, if she needs to come see me. I remember recently you were driving here, you wanted to talk about something. Yeah. And on the way here, you were like, I just want to be with my babies. Yeah. And I was the kind of friend that I was like, you know what? You come at your own time. You come when it's okay.

SPEAKER_03 20:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

And um, and there's always food and vibes here when you want it, and bring the kids the next time because I mean Jade is like my spirit animal. Yes. So it's fine. So all that to say that that I have come to realize that seasoned conversations is a blessing that God put in my lab that I didn't even know that He was putting in my lap until you voiced loudly, like, I want you in this community. And I've met some really cool people through seasoned conversation as well. Shout out to Elf. Um, but and I realized that I my voice has more power. My presence has more power than I than I give myself credit for.

SPEAKER_03 20:44

Oh, yeah, definitely.

SPEAKER_02 20:46

So I didn't realize that a lot of people were making decisions based on things that I would say. Yeah, and your authenticity. Like I have a thing. I'm sorry in advance for who's hearing this, but I have friends that have told me I sometimes don't know whether to invite you to things because specifically weddings. I had some friends getting married. Oh. I have a rule. If you're gonna make me dress up, there better be good food. Oh, yeah. Obviously. And I need to believe this relationship is gonna last because I'm not buying a present or a failing relationship. I'm a single mother, my budget matters, and so I'm not doing that. So I have friends that like have literally postponed their weddings.

SPEAKER_03 21:27

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 21:27

Because I said no to coming to their wedding, and they knew why. Because you can see what they can and I have a hundred percent success rate where all my friends that have said no are divorced now. I don't take pride in that, okay? But like I'm the kind of person that I'm so protective of the people I love. I have a friend who was going through an abusive situation, and I scared that man so much he moved out of state. I don't play that game. You mess with somebody at love, I mess with you back. And I don't stop until I feel satisfied. And I think you you know that. From personal experience, but I have friends that are like, I'm scared of inviting you to things and things because you are gonna be you. Yeah, I love that my authenticity scares people. I know that other people would like no, like, I don't want to rock the status quo, but sometimes the status quo is meant to be rocked. Yes, it really does. And um yeah, I always kind of be myself, and whenever I have not been myself, that's when my depression gets bad because I had two different diagnoses of depression, major depressive disorder, and PMDD, and now I'm going through perimenopause again. Another episode for another time, but I'm willing to talk about all these things, and then I struggle with chronic anxiety, and I took tests that told me it was just a chemical imbalance, but it gets exponentially worse when I am not myself. And so I'm like, why am I putting myself in a discomfort box for other people when I don't have to leave with you people? Yeah, I can see you today and choose to never see you again and block you from my life. I still have to live with me.

SPEAKER_01 23:03

Why are we doing this? Yeah, you know what I mean? I hate it. So I don't.

SPEAKER_03 23:09

So I don't. Yeah, this episode, my gosh. I'm sure there are a lot of y'all listening where maybe it stirred something inside of you where you're like, oh my gosh, have I been doing that? Have I been minimizing myself because I felt like, you know, I wasn't enough or people weren't seeing my work.

SPEAKER_02 23:34

Since you know, if you are asking yourself that question or if you postponed the wedding because I didn't come, you already know the answer to the question. You just need to know that your why is good enough.

SPEAKER_03 23:46

Yeah.

Deep Breath And The Alignment Question

SPEAKER_02 23:47

You know what I mean? Like, if I woke up one day and you have a zit in the middle of your forehead, and that zit is what makes me break up with you, break up with the person. I know that that sounds bad, but we made so we make so many consumers decisions every day of like when we go to Sephora and when we go to Ulta and we want that cookie. Why are we making decisions differently in life? Yeah, when you let your body lead you for the goodness, why are you not letting your body lead you when you have that pit feeling where you're on your chest, like trust yourself. A narcissist man is gonna hate me for this. Yeah, trust yourself if you're asking yourself if your significant other is a narcissist, Dr. Mam Dani. That's all I'm saying. Podcast lipworm.

SPEAKER_03 24:33

Well, I want to give you guys a place to land before we leave this episode, and so at the end of every episode now we take a deep breath together. So let's do that. And then remember this question I ask you, you don't have to do anything with it immediately, but it gives you some point where you can get some self-awareness, right? Uh, so I want you to ask yourself in any situation you're in where you feel like you're struggling to understand your worth, ask yourself, is this really about my worth, or is this about my alignment? And if you get really honest about that question, I promise you the answer you need and then the decision you need to make is at the end of answering that.

SPEAKER_02 25:29

Can I add something to that? Ask yourself, is this about my worth, or is this about the worth that I give other people in my life over myself? Because I've been in relationships where I loved someone so much that I forgot to love myself in the process, and I realized that their worth was more important to me than mine.

SPEAKER_03 25:49

You don't have to live with them.

SPEAKER_02 25:50

You have to live with you.

SPEAKER_03 25:51

Yeah, forever.

SPEAKER_02 25:52

Forever.

SPEAKER_03 25:53

You're kind of stuck. Yeah, you're welcome. Anyway, Laura, thank you. Thank you for being here. And you forgiving the people the truth. Hi, people. And to every single woman listening, if you are ready to sit at the table with me, you were at local tour at Lena, look out for those tickets. May night. We are bringing season conversations again. And I can't wait to see you there. And I can't wait to see you on the next episode.

SPEAKER_00 26:20

Thank you so much for listening, love. If anything in today's episode resonated with you, share it with your bestie or share it on social media and tag me so we can chat about it. As always, send you light and love. And remember, you are worthy, you are enough, and you deserve to try.