Motherhood, Mental Load & Building a Dream Without Losing Yourself with Nicole McConnell

What happens when you're managing school forms, meal plans, doctor appointments, activities, work deadlines, family schedules, and everyone else's needs—all at the same time?

In this episode of Thrive Like a Mother, Ebony sits down with Nicole McConnell, mom of two and founder of Dreamy Dens Events, to unpack the invisible mental load so many mothers carry every day.

Together, they explore what it looks like to navigate motherhood, marriage, entrepreneurship, and family life without constantly running on empty. Nicole shares how she's learning to set boundaries, build intentional systems, protect her energy, and create a life that reflects her values rather than society's expectations.

This conversation is a reminder that exhaustion is not a badge of honor, burnout is not a milestone, and you don't have to carry everything alone.

In this episode, we discuss:

• The invisible mental load of motherhood
• Why modern moms feel overwhelmed
• How to build and strengthen your village
• Setting boundaries without guilt
• Balancing motherhood and entrepreneurship
• Creating intentional family rhythms
• Protecting your energy and capacity
• Teaching children healthy boundaries
• How to stop saying yes to everything
• Practical tools for managing mental overload

Connect with Nicole

Instagram: @dreamydensevents

Website: https://www.dreamydensevents.com/

🎉 Nicole has also graced all Thrive Like a Mother listeners with $25 off any services. Use code THRIVE when you purchase any services on her site. Code expires on August 31, 2026.

Stay up to date on in-person events in Atlanta, GA:

Thrive Empowered in-person events

Free Resources:

Meal Plan & Prep Workbook

Follow and chat with me on Instagram:

@thrivelikeamother.podcast

@thrive.empowered

Sending you light and love always!

Transcript

Space To Be Your Own Self

SPEAKER_00 0:00

How how you could be such a better parent and a better partner if you feel like you have time and space to also be your person and be your own self.

SPEAKER_02 0:07

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 0:07

And those all matters.

Welcome And The Mental Load

SPEAKER_02 0:11

Hi love. I'm Ebony and welcome to Thrive Like a Mother, a podcast for women who are ready to slow down, nourish themselves, and build alive that feel anchored and set up. Don't have to do this a lot. Let's thrive together. Hey y'all, welcome back to another episode of the Thrive Like a Mother podcast. And we have a very special guest on with us today. Y'all, this episode. This is for the mom whose brain never shuts off. I know you know who I'm talking about. The one with the 27 tabs open is me in her brain. The one who knows all the like sizes of the shoes and the clothes and when they need to size out, when permission slips are due, what appointments need to be made. All of that I know is just living in your head right now, along with everything you need to do to take care of yourself and your household. And if you have a partner, that's another layer, right? And let's not even talk about friends, family. You get what I'm what I'm talking about here. We're going to basically talk about that invisible mental load that moms carry that not a lot of people seem to truly understand. And I have Nicole on here with me today. She is a mama of two. Uh, she's navigating right now, pre-K applications. Yeah, we're almost there. Zebra, almost there. She's also launching a business. I'm so excited for her to share with you about. And she's gonna share with us how to really figure out how to commit to things we want to happen in our lives without burning out. That's the goal, right? And so I'm like, oh, I really wanna I wanna start here. Yeah, you have a four-year-old, you get a two-year-old. Those are fun age. And like I said, you're right now applying to pre-K, which I know that what that first time, I remember what that first time feels like. It's a lot. You're also launching a business. So let's just talk about a typical Tuesday.

Why A Tuesday Is Never Typical

SPEAKER_02 2:47

Typical Tuesday.

SPEAKER_00 2:48

I said, first we should think about what activities is happening on a Tuesday. Like daycare. Are we doing a dress up day? Is it show and tell? What's the weather? How am I dressing my children to go to school? Because this week was a little rainy. Yeah. So you need a raincoat. And my four-year-old was like, I don't know. I said, Yeah, you do. We had that whole debate going on. So typical Tuesday is anything but typical. It's like, have we made the dinner plans? Did we meal plan? Yeah. Sometimes the answer's yes. Sometimes the answer's no. So it's just a lot going on just figuring out when are we doing things, when are things happening, who's gonna do it. I think I'll say a fortunate. My partner's locked in. He also works from home. Oh, good. So he can do the pickup, the drop off if I need to like run off to work. Because I have to drive 50 minutes. I have to drive to Athens for work every day. So that's that's my commute. Mine is probably a one-way, 50 minutes each time. Yeah. So we're in the car a lot. Yeah. So there's a typical Tuesday, but a lot is the what's on the calendar, what are we juggling?

SPEAKER_02 3:44

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 3:44

How are we doing that divide of what's happening, what's going on?

SPEAKER_02 3:47

Love that. I mean, I don't I love it, but I don't love it. I love it in the sense of like when you have that type of life, you really have to figure out how to adapt and how to pivot. Yeah. Pretty often, pretty quickly. So right now in this season, is there anything that has surprised you?

SPEAKER_00 4:07

Ooh, let's see. All the things, yes. So, like having two kids, and like our youngest is almost two, so she's talking more, clearly walking better, yeah, bothering her big brother more. So it's a lot of surprise of like, well, she took my car.

SPEAKER_01 4:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:25

And so it's like violent take his car, but also like you don't hit her. Yes. So it's a lot of management of their relationship, of like, we knew it was happening. Like we wanted this gap. We planned for this gap. And no people are like, you can't plan for kids. Yes, we did.

SPEAKER_03 4:39

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:39

Like we said we want to get pregnant, we had our first one. We said we want this age gap. We planned our second one. So all that was intentional. But two years, yeah, maybe we should have gone three. A little bit bigger. Because a lot of it, but it's so cute also, because he does love her. He loves her. He's like, she's my best friend.

SPEAKER_01 4:56

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 4:57

But he wants it, like now it's like, I want her to play with me. But I'm like, Riley's tired, she doesn't want to play. Yeah. Or she'll hear him say things. Like he was at dinner, and he's like, Oh no. So in her little voice, she's like, Oh no. So it's so cute. So those surprises of like, because we only had yeah, the dynamic, like the mimicking and the copying, which is just been fascinating in and of itself. Yeah. I think those are all like the daily, like fun, cute surprises.

Time Is Finite So Say No

SPEAKER_00 5:21

But then the surprise of like, okay, we try to be really mindful. 2026 was a year for me of like, I want intentionality with our time.

SPEAKER_01 5:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:28

I've told people for a long time throughout my life, time is finite. Like my dad passed away in high school, so time has always been relevant for me and how I view it, how I spend it. So I think if you're giving someone your time, that's the greatest gift you can give someone.

SPEAKER_01 5:41

That's true.

SPEAKER_00 5:42

Because you have so many options and there's only so much of it.

SPEAKER_01 5:45

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 5:46

And so I think really this year I went into that intentionality. And so I think I'm surprised when we're looking at our calendar and I'm like, we don't have space to do that. And like we usually are the yes people. Like we'd be running from birthday party to birthday party activity to activity. But this has been a lot of like, we need time at home. Yeah. Like we just need to be in our house. That's just it. So yeah, so it's a lot of intentionality of the surprise of like, do we need to do that though? Like, do we? Yeah. And we don't. Yeah, so it's interesting because we're also like go people. And we want our kids to be involved. We want them to try all the things. I want you to find your passion and do all that. But how do you really look at that and make it appropriately timed?

SPEAKER_01 6:24

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 6:25

Yeah. Without saying yes to everything. Sometimes we gotta say no.

SPEAKER_00 6:29

You have to say you have to say no.

SPEAKER_02 6:30

Like the hard boundary to hold, but you have to say no. Yeah. Okay, so in this season where we are learning how to say no, do you feel like there are any parts of your life where you still feel stretched?

Two Kids And The Activity Juggle

SPEAKER_00 6:46

Well, I mean, I still think with we're talking about like that invisible mental load, we're talking about what's happening. So I still feel like it's the stretch of like, we're saying no more often, but we're still balancing a lot because for us, we're trying to be again very intentional about we have two kids.

SPEAKER_01 7:03

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 7:03

When it was just Henry and Riley couldn't do a lot of things, like, okay, well, Henry's gonna do soccer, Henry's gonna do seatball, Henry's gonna do swim, like he's doing all these activities. But now Riley's almost two. So Riley can do gymnastics, Riley can do dance, Riley can do swim. So it's still really that stretch of like, how are we making sure that Henry's been doing it for two years? So we want to respect the fact that you're you're passionate about it. He does ice skating, he likes to ice skate. Yeah, so he actually he's a he's a almost four-year-old with a Wednesday night activity. Wow. Yeah, we drive to Duluth to go ice skating because it's the only ice for him around. But it's like, okay, well, Riley should also have time and space to do things. So I think that's the the mental load that I'm balancing now of like, okay, but like what's appropriate? Like, I don't want y'all overcommitted, but like I don't want you to be the sibling that's always having to be taken to your siblings' things. Like you're not just known as a little sister of Henry, like you have your own stuff. So like I just looked at it and said, okay, I'm gonna commit. So I found a gymnastics that's near us in Winder, yeah, that they're on Wednesday nights. Yeah. So Henry can go ice skating with dad. Yeah, Riley can come to gymnastics with me. You both have a Wednesday night activity.

SPEAKER_01 8:09

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 8:10

And okay, and it still helps preserve the weekend because that's the other thing we try to be really mindful of is preserving that weekend for that family time where me and my husband aren't taxied from the whole week, the drives, the back and forth. We can just exist all together and not stress. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 8:25

Goodness, goodness. Okay, so I know that there are a lot of women, a lot of moms listening to us that can relate, juggling all the things, trying to figure out like what that balance is. And it's not really just like you said, like what's on the calendar, what we're doing. It's also like what's up here that we're having to juggle. So with mental, the mental load, when for you did you start to feel like, okay, this is feeling a little heavy, or even now, um, because that's something I feel like can, you know, it ebbs and flows. Like for you, when do you notice that? And then I guess what do you do about it in the

Systems And A Village That Works

SPEAKER_02 9:09

moment?

SPEAKER_00 9:09

So I think I really started noticing, I think probably after Riley turned one. Like up until one, you're kind of mushy. Like you're just you're on a date. You're like, it's fine, you're eating with the baby. Yeah, like you're fine. But I think I was really once you start like walking a bit more, having a pain of like, you're a little personality, it's it's coming now. And so I think with that came more of the mental load of how are we being cognizant, how are we being mindful, what are we juggling, what do we have going on, how is that showing up? And so I think really how I've looked at how do I balance that or handle it when I feel it picking up is really like what tools do I have in place? One, where can I give? Because I think that people also talk about like work-life balance. That is maybe for some. Yeah. For me, that is not a real thing. Like, there is no balance between work and life. They ebb and they flow and they have to move and shift and be flexible.

SPEAKER_01 9:59

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 10:00

And so I really think that it is one I have a supportive supervisor. I know not people can say this. I've always had women supervisors. So my entire professional career. So I find that's really helpful to me of having that. Because I'm like, you get it. You have two kids. So you understand when I'm saying, which was literally last week, Thursday. Hey, it's 9 a.m. and daycare just called that Riley has a fever. So as soon as I like pulled into this parking lot to park for work, I'm gonna, I'm gonna have to leave. And like that understanding that came with that of that balancing act. So that I found has been really useful. And I know that not everyone can get that. Like, that's not always going to be every supervisor.

SPEAKER_01 10:36

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 10:36

So I've been blessed and fortunate in that way. But I think even if you don't have that, I think it really is like what systems, what village do you have? And I think, again, I think it's a whole concept right now with like millennials and like what is a village, how are you planning to control on your village? Like, people don't have villages anymore. No, like when I talk to my mom because she doesn't live far and she comes over and she helps on the weekends. She's like, Yeah, she's like, Y'all used to go to in-home daycare, and like her mom was around and her sisters were around. I said, that is not the reality for most people. How many people are single parents? How many people are here just transplants that have moved that don't have anyone? Yeah, and I'm like, I'm worried about my mental load with a like a quality partner with Neely Arsid. Do it. Yeah, I don't know. So the village, I think, is another part of helping take off that mental load of we have grandparents that are locked in, they will come, they help, they bring dinner.

SPEAKER_01 11:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 11:28

So it's like one less thing I have to worry or think about. So I think it's a lot of the things, and I mean, we're still trying every day of like, oh, I found I would have done a post last night on Instagram of like meal plans. And it was like, okay, Monday's pasta Monday. She gave you like 10 options. I said, I could do that. Like, you just gave me I can subscribe to this. Tongo Tuesday. She gave options. That'll work for me. But I think it's fine the things that work for you.

SPEAKER_02 11:50

Yeah. Yeah. And when you talk about the village too, sometimes I used to make this joke of just like, okay, we said, you know, it takes a village to raise the kids. Do they knock on the door? Like, you know, is there a calendar invite that I missed? But I mean, really, sometimes it it is that maybe you don't have a village, but you may need to start figuring out how to build one.

SPEAKER_00 12:15

Yes. And I've seen it a lot. Again, I'm not on TikTok. So that's another thing that's probably saves my time.

SPEAKER_01 12:20

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 12:20

I'm already sucked in on Instagram as it is. And so I think I've seen a lot of posts on my feed have been like, how are you intentionally creating your village? How are you pouring into people? And how are you showing up? Because not just anticipating people showing up for you. You also need to show up for them. Are you sending the check-in-text messages? Are you hosting the casual things? Because I think that what we've also done is how we built up and we're from Georgia. I feel like that's important context. Like we're from Georgia. We only moved away for three and a half years. We came back when we knew we want to start a family. So our village is here and has always been here.

SPEAKER_01 12:50

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:50

But I think we've thought about how do we branch out that village and how do we build it up being located here in Gwinnett County? I'm from Fulton County.

SPEAKER_01 12:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 12:58

Um, and so how we transplant that. And so we do host parties. Like we want to be the house that people come over to. Like I that is like my goal as a parent. Like I told some friend the other day, I said, that is my goal. I said, I want the kids to come and take your shoes off. Like the pretty stock with stuff. Open the side, like, find your snack. Like that is my dream as a parent of having that. And it's like which starts young. So we we ho have parties, like we have like fun in the sun. I did that last time. I was like, come over. We have an inflatable pool. I have a bubble maker that's on a stand, like kids don't touch it. It's it's here, it's just in generate for you. I had like had like two pools, a splash pad, like all the things. I said, just come over. I said, You don't have to worry about anything. We provide the food. So I think it's like, how do you show up? How do you create the environment in the spaces? And that was just parents. So like people that didn't know each other, maybe from daycare, maybe from our like best friends, it was just like, you have a four-year-old too. Like wow. And they have new connections. So I think that's been a big part of how we build our village and what it looks like and how it means to show up intentionally. But it doesn't have to be that intense either.

SPEAKER_01 13:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 13:58

I think a lot of things are just like have pizza. Like I think I saw one that was like, everyone bring over pizza. Mm-hmm. That's it. Yeah. That that's that's the hang. It doesn't have to be intense. It doesn't. It can be simple.

SPEAKER_02 14:11

I love that. Or even I'm gonna put this out there too, because I know we all go to the park. Yes. And uh I don't know. There's just like this thing of if you see your kids playing together, that's an opportunity. Oh, I'm well I've done that.

SPEAKER_00 14:26

I'm that person. Oh, I'm that person. I definitely met a dad and his son. Yeah, and they're at the park and they just moved here. And I said, Yeah, we're having a party or two. Like, I'm over. I told my husband when I got home, I said, Yeah, I met this dad. He's like, You did what? I said, Yeah, give him our address, it's fine.

SPEAKER_01 14:42

Came over and it was great. And they had it was so fun. Yeah, I'm that person. Goodness, goodness.

SPEAKER_02 14:49

Okay, let's continue on this subject, right?

Boundaries That Protect Your Energy

SPEAKER_02 14:52

Because we are telling people, like, yes, get yourself out there, um, start building your village. How do you then protect your energy when it starts feeling like people start to need things from you?

SPEAKER_00 15:06

And so I think that's the hard thing of like showing up, is like you can't be the only one. And so I think that really comes with setting boundaries. Oh, yeah. And like, I think that's the hardest part is like I have to have a boundary. And like, I need you to respect it, but even if someone's like not respecting the boundary, I'm still firm up, like, this is what I can do for you, though, and this is what I can't do for you. And like, this is what showing up for me looks like right now, and what I can give. And if that's enough, then that's frankly may not be enough. And you may need to go find another source of holding that boundary.

SPEAKER_01 15:35

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 15:36

And so I really think that when people are asking for a lot, like, I give deadlines. So I'm like, I'm like good to give someone a deadline. Yeah. So, like, yes, I I have my full-time job. I also help do event planning for Realamas of Duluth Swanie. So it's like children's consignment. And so, with that comes a part of doing this whole process, setting up DIP consigners. Essentially, you get their stuff ready for them, put it out, you get a percentage. So, I'm doing that for one of my friends, and she's like, Oh, I dropped something off, I left it in the cup yet daycare, and I said, You have until this deadline to give me all of the things that you want processed. Because after that, I need to move on to the next person. And so, like, I'm doing this, yeah, I'm getting it done, but I also need the deadline, I need to respect the boundary because I can't go beyond that. I can't have you just giving me random things throughout this entire time period.

SPEAKER_01 16:21

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:21

So I think like for me, that's how like I established the boundary. I was very upfront about it. I'm also, as my personality, is a very direct person.

SPEAKER_01 16:28

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 16:29

So I'm like, with kindness, with care, but I'm like, this is what we're gonna do, and this is what we're not gonna do.

SPEAKER_01 16:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 16:33

Um, so I think it's really that. I think it's also recognizing what you have to give. Yeah, your word. Yeah, like your worth, but like, do you have the energy to show up? Like, only you can answer that. And it's like you have to be okay with like I think also pulling back. I think it's not about like, yes, I committed to this birthday party, but you know what? I had a hard week at work. And I just can't. Yeah. And like that's okay because if they're in your village, if you're trusted in your village, then we know that's not common based. Like, you're not you're not a person that's laked.

SPEAKER_01 17:04

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 17:04

It's like you, you okay, you really need your time back, and that's okay. But I think it's like that balance of how you've always shown up, I think how you are known. Because I think that's really it's really about like what's your currency? Yeah, what is your like currency in the village? What's the trust? What are the relationships? Who wants you to show up? Who expects you to show up? How have you been showing up? That's all establishing your currency in the village or with your community.

SPEAKER_01 17:27

Yes.

SPEAKER_00 17:27

And so if you've established that, I think if you've done that well, then you're a trusted member of the village. Yeah. And like whatever you need, you were able to take and also whatever you can give is also appreciated.

SPEAKER_02 17:38

Yes. I love that. Okay.

Let Kids Choose What They Like

SPEAKER_02 17:42

So let's kind of circle back a little bit because we were talking about you starting to get your kids, you know, into activities. What does that look like? What is what does you guys' capacity look like? What does that balance look like, right? Without overcommitting. Yeah. Like, okay, one activity here, one activity another day. Yeah, that's that's a lot. It's a lot. I just love the way that you're approaching it in such like uh an intentional and powerful way. Say, like, yes, my kids each need their time, but also we don't want this to be like we're bouncing around all throughout you know. I guess I want to ask this question because you know, growing up, you know, especially just becoming a mom, what did you grow up thinking like kids like should be doing? I think that that has been shifting and changing, especially in our generation. Yeah. You know, a lot of the things that my kids are doing, I didn't necessarily do.

SPEAKER_00 18:41

No, I mean, I don't know, I think it's interesting. So my mom has three kids, but my older brother's 13 years older than me. So it was like I was the middle, but also the oldest. I mean, by the time I'm five, he's 18. He went and joined the armed forces. So it was like Yeah, it was like weird.

SPEAKER_01 18:56

Yeah, it was like a weird space. Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 18:58

And so I want to say that, and like my parents had both moved down here from New York. So they were also transplants to move down here, but my mom was one of six.

SPEAKER_01 19:04

Okay.

SPEAKER_00 19:05

So when she moved, like in a number of years, her whole family moved. Like all of her siblings hadn't moved down, like her mom hadn't moved down.

SPEAKER_01 19:12

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:12

So like we'd always had that village. So we had always had the community, had the family. And so my parents were intentional about like I remember doing gymnastics. Like, I can I have distinctive memories of being like an Alpha Rudder, Georgia at a gym, like doing gymnastics. So, like, I had exposure to that. My mom does not know how to swim. So she made sure me and my brother knew how to swim. Like that was something she was very intentional about. So I think we always had the opportunity to be involved. Like, I I remember playing the record like you do in elementary school. I remember I played the flute throughout middle school and high school. So I remember being provided the opportunity to go and engage and have activities that were like my own choosing. Now I will say that for my husband and I now, like, we're probably exposing them to more than I was ever exposed to. So like I never did team sports.

SPEAKER_01 19:58

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 19:59

That was never just never nothing but something exposed to. Like, okay, what is that? So, like, we're intentional, like, Henry, try soccer. Like, if you don't like it, yeah, that's fine. You don't have to do it again. But like, try it. Try T Ball.

SPEAKER_01 20:10

Mm-hmm.

SPEAKER_00 20:11

You know, I don't really like T-Ball. My husband said one more time, I said, fine, he's closer to four, maybe he'll do it better. But like, he's like, I like ice skating. So it's like, okay, we're gonna keep it with activity that you tell us you want to do. And I so I think that's also the thing we're noticing in our generation. Of course, you say no, and I pick your no at a four. Yes. I trust that you know what you like and that you don't like it. And it's not like it's a no forever. Like maybe at seven, you're like, that sounds great. I want to do it again. Yeah, but I I think that's the other part that I think is the big generational difference of like the respect I think we're giving kids at a younger age of like, you told me no, you meant no. Okay. Yeah. We'll have something different.

SPEAKER_02 20:48

Yeah. Teaching them that, teaching them already, like your no means no, and it it's okay to say it. Yes. Even to your parents. Yes. Yes. That whole like dichotomy of respect is way different than that. Oh, yeah. And sometimes it tests me too, because we still have our parents in the back of our head. Like, my mom would have never test, and it just, I don't know.

SPEAKER_00 21:12

So much about like the archetypes of parenting, anyways, right now. It's like, are you the F around and find out parent? Are you the gentle parent? Like, where do you fall back? Yeah, I said you're just gonna learn, James. I was like, you done it. Oh not to do it. Are you okay?

SPEAKER_01 21:30

No, okay.

Building Dreamy Dens From Scratch

SPEAKER_02 21:32

Okay, so let's talk about launching the business. Okay, y'all. Nicole, I love that she's just jumping into this. If you don't know, yeah, and which you've probably seen, you've seen it on my Instagram. If you haven't, go check it out. But season conversations, when I tell you a big part of my support system where the women that just started to almost like circle. Around me and support. Nicole was one of those women, and she is launching something so beautiful that is so needed just in our community. As we're literally talking about building the village and making it so things don't have to be so hard. Me building season conversations, like, yes, I have the dream and the vision. But when I tell you like the support, the genius, the brain behind making sure like things go off without a hitch, that's Nicole. So let's talk about what you've been building with Dreamy Dense Company. How has it felt just starting to build this out, this dream that I'm sure has just been on your heart?

SPEAKER_00 22:43

It's an interesting. So like I've always done event planning through different aspects of my professional job anyway. So it's always been a component of it. I said, Well, I've built the skill set. Yeah. So like, why not use the skill set? So I will tell you, like, Dreamy Den was I saw something on Facebook and I said, that could be really cool. It was all about like TP tense, this rental sleepover. And said, I could do that. Yeah. So then when I contact the person, like someone that said, I said, I'll buy all of your stuff. And I said, okay, so we have this stuff. So that was like the first part of like, I saw something. I said, let's not try it. Talking to my husband, I was like, it only costs this much money. I said, even if I like decide not to launch this part of something, like that is nominal compared to not trying at all. So that was really the the genesis of it of what started having that. And then I thought more about it and I was like, well, yeah, like part of setting up this like dreaming in so this tent rental business is the event planning component. I said, I could do that, and I can do that for other things. I said, I've had to plan things for work from concerts to like smaller events. I said, I've done the gamut, so I can do that. So that's when you were helping out with Ray Lamas of like, and you said this, and I said, okay, let me know. And I think you thought I was kidding at first. I did. I was like, no, I said, for real, let me know. I said, I'll do it. Yeah. And so I said, yeah. And so I think that's the part that I'm really excited about building out. I think all Dream Eden is going to be really great. We're looking at launching the website in about two weeks, which I'm really excited about. I don't have all the packages, but I'm also wanting it to be like, I don't know, for me, this business is not necessarily like, yes, making money, making it different for the community. But I also want it to make things easier for people. Like I want you to be able to have a birthday party, whether it's a sleepover or my idea really is for sleep unders, because I cannot like say I'm like, I'm one of those parents that I like. My kids are probably never going to go to sleep over. Unless it's one of the trusted few. But a sleep under, have them stay late, have this whole setup. I think that's that's ideally the market for Dreamy Dens of like the parents that like you want to do that, you want to get a cool themed experience. Yeah, this is for you. I have looked at this business model in other places around Gwinnett County. I really want to offer a DIY option. So a DIY option would be you come, pick this stuff up for me, and you can set it up for a lower cost. So I also want it to be accessible. Yeah. Like that's really important to me of just because you may not be able to afford the larger package doesn't mean that you don't want to give something special to your child because that is every parent's goal.

SPEAKER_02 25:05

A hundred percent.

SPEAKER_00 25:06

And so if I can make it easier of like a DIY tutorial video, here you go. Yeah, all the better. Like have at it. And so I think that part, and I think the event planning part, I'm still figuring out what exactly do I want that to look like.

SPEAKER_01 25:19

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:19

I think working with even seasoned conversations has really given me a glimpse into what I want to do. Like, I want long-term clients.

SPEAKER_01 25:25

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:25

Like, am I happy to do the one-off event?

SPEAKER_01 25:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:28

Yeah. But to be with someone to help them build from the ground up of like what is their vision?

SPEAKER_01 25:33

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:33

And for me, ultimately knowing, like, at some point, Ebony may not need me. And for me, that's okay. But I think that's okay. Because having been there with someone to have supported them when they needed it most, when it was most critical for them, to then see them go off and like do what they wanted to do. I said, that's fine with me.

SPEAKER_01 25:51

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:52

I think that's that's ideal.

SPEAKER_01 25:53

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 25:54

Goodness.

Ambition With Motherhood In Real Life

SPEAKER_02 25:55

Okay, so how are you feeling about holding this ambition and motherhood at the same time? Because I know there are a lot of our listeners that are the same, right? They maybe have the nine to five, they're building a business and they're also like a mama, right? Yeah. So how are you holding both?

SPEAKER_00 26:13

I really think it's gonna come from I mean, we keep talking about it, but that village, but even so like your partner, if you have a partner, because some of these are single mamas out here doing the work. And so I really think it's how are people showing up because you also have to contend with yourself that you are giving something up.

SPEAKER_01 26:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 26:29

Time is finite, like we said, you only have so many hours in a day. And if you are choosing, like me, to go set up a party or be an event planner, yeah, that is gonna take away from family time. That is going to have to shift things and shift how and where you can show up. But I think that's again where it comes with how are you intentional with your time. Yes. How are you really, if you can, plan for that and scale it. And so I think that's the other thing for mommas that are starting their own business, like no one can tell you what to do. And I think that was the other main reason. Like, I saw business, I could have signed up to be an event planner and help out, but like, but I want to be able to decide what to do with my time. And I want to be able, like we said, to have bound to say no, to set that calendar of like, you know what? School is out for a week.

SPEAKER_01 27:11

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:11

Two kids at home will be like, I can't do nothing else, but yeah. And so I really think that's the part of taking that ownership of wanting to start the business, running the business that at no other point in your life can you tell your time what to do than when you are owning and starting something. And like it's yours.

SPEAKER_01 27:28

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 27:28

So I think like that's the really cool part of how I hold space for that, how I figure out the balance for that. My partner is great. So he is super helpful. Like this entire week, I'm like, I gotta get to work. Like, I have these things to do. So he's gonna drop off and pick off every day. Today was the first day I step into daycare this week because he's just been doing it all. And so I think that management, but also those conversations of what a support look like. And like, how can you be up front of like this is going to take a lot? We're in this together. Let's talk about what the shift will look like. Who can we tap in? Like I said, my mom comes every weekend, so that's super helpful. So she's able to come in and be part of that. My in-laws come in once a week, so they're able to help with those nights that they come in and really help take some of that load off. And so we are able to really pull on our village to make it work, which really helps me then balance of having a nine to eight to five with commutes each way.

SPEAKER_01 28:16

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 28:16

Balancing how am I keeping the kids involved, engaged, but being present. I think that's the other part. Being present with them and for the things they're doing while also launching a business and making sure that I'm putting energy into that to launch successfully. Cause I think that's the thing is if you're not gonna put the time and energy into it, maybe right now is not the season for it.

SPEAKER_01 28:35

And that's okay.

SPEAKER_00 28:36

Yeah, like that's it. Be honest with yourself. Like, maybe right now is not the time. Would I recommend people doing what I'm doing with starting a business when you have a four-year-old and two-year-old? Like, maybe not. Like it's yeah, it's a pull. Like, it is a pull. Like, on some days, I'm like, should I maybe wait until they were older? A little bit more self-sufficient, like it would have been easier. But I was like, honestly, season conversations was the spark of like, if I'm gonna do it, I'm gonna do it now. Like, we're gonna go. Like, you're gonna do it and do it now. And so we said, we're gonna figure it out. That's what we've been doing.

SPEAKER_01 29:06

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 29:07

I feel like that's the season I'm very much in, y'all. Figuring it out. But you see, like as you figure it out, and I talk about this too with with a meal planning, is you keep figuring out, you keep trying, you build your confidence, and before you know it, you're like, I did it. It all makes sense now. Yeah, yeah. I think that's the part.

SPEAKER_00 29:27

Because you can do it. Like, it's never it's never self-doubt, self-confidence, but I really think it's a conversation of is now the right time.

SPEAKER_01 29:34

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 29:34

Like I had bought all the stuff for Dreamy Den's mid-last year, and I just let it sit in storage. I was like, Yeah, this is not the time. I do not have the capacity, this is not the space. Yeah. And so it wasn't really so I was like, okay, like what can we take on? What is a full launch or what is a partial launch? And like, are you okay with that? Of like maybe you have this one nugget that you're able to do. It may not be the whole gold mine, but that one nugget, we can do it, we can do it well, and we can slowly build out. Yes.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

I love that. Goodness.

Tools To Lighten The Mental Load

SPEAKER_02 30:02

Okay, so for the mama, let's let's go back to that mental load.

SPEAKER_00 30:08

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 30:09

Because we need some tools. Yeah. Nicole. For the mama who knows that she's carrying too much right now in her head. She's got the 27, maybe more halves open. What is like one shift that she can make this week to help with those tests?

SPEAKER_00 30:24

The shift is like write it all down. Like, that's my first thing is like, yeah, write it all down. Like just make the running list. And that's writing, speaking it out to chat, Gemini, whatever your preferred AI is. Like, put it somewhere. Yeah. And then, especially if you're using AI, have it prioritized for you. It may see things that you don't. And so I think like use the tools that are around you, get it all out of your head. Because once it's out of your head, you're like, is that really a task?

SPEAKER_01 30:49

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 30:49

Is that something I really need to be doing? Like, Rogers, all the tabs. Like my kids are doing all these different things. And I said, I'm registering Henry for ice skating again. I could have done it a month ago, but I was like, but why am I rushing it? He's not done ice skating until this week. I said, I have four weeks. So even though that tab was open for me of like, I know I need to register for ice skating and it's coming up, I was really able to look at my whole list and be like, I have time. I said, Yeah, like that can wait. And I have more pressing things that I can do. So I really think that if you're able to take that like large scale view of all of the tabs, all of the things, yeah, prioritize it and time it, that will really help. I'm a big person of like lists and organization. You can be overorganized. I will say there are too if you have too many systems, it probably won't work out. But like I really like I have I'm an Apple person through and through. I use my notes app. So when we're talking about like the invisible load of switching kids' closets, which is a big thing in my household. Yeah. Because like I do a full switch. I'm not a seasonal switch girly. Like we're full, like Henry's in his full 4T closet. Like, that is it. I did it once. Riley too, and I switched them the same weeks. I said, I'm done. That is it. But you know, I have I have pictures of everything I've purchased. I knew it was in their sizes. I have a spreadsheet that way I knew what else I need to purchase for them. So when I unpacked their closet, I was like, Riley doesn't have a lot of pants. So I knew what I needed to order. So that also just helped me keep really organized.

SPEAKER_01 32:09

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:10

And I wasn't like day of figuring out like, you only got like two pairs of shorts. Like, what are we gonna do today? So I think like that really helped. But I think it's also like you have to take the time to build it in. So it's also committing to maybe it's a Saturday morning.

SPEAKER_01 32:23

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 32:24

And like just two hours like can help you set up a system and put something in place. I think something I've been reading a lot about and looking at is like, how do you have time for the family? How do you have time for yourself? And how do you balance that with your partner? So me and something me and my partner are gonna try soon is that concept of like, you get two hours, the hope, the goal, we are all competent parents. So you're trusting your partner to watch the kids. You have two hours to do whatever you want. That's freeing in a sense. Yes. That is freeing of like we and we have the family, too. So like, what is and that's you and your partner having meetings. So what is the planned family thing we know we're doing this week and that we want to accomplish?

unknown 33:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:00

When is your two hours going to be best for you? The morning, is it the afternoon, is it the evening, like making that work and that figuring out? And that way you know, and there's a boundary. Yeah, and there's a limit on it of like I know that if I wanted to go to Pilates and do that on my Saturday morning, if I wanted to go and sit at a coffee shop and just write down dreamy things, then things and like start working on stuff, like I know my two hours to use how I want. Yeah, that way it's off. Like once that task is done, the clearing of your mind, and like you're ready to lock in and be present with the family, you're ready to do those things. Then also affording your your partner the same opportunity. Because how much how how you could be such a better parent and a better partner if you feel like you have time and space to also be your person and be your own self.

SPEAKER_02 33:41

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 33:42

I think those all matter.

SPEAKER_02 33:43

I love that. Oh my goodness. I feel like I'm gonna show you.

SPEAKER_00 33:47

I feel and it's not even hard. I think you even if people want to start off soft, like an hour. Like you have the kids for an hour. Yes. I am going to go do whatever I need to do. Start small. And that's the thing, it's like you don't have to be a grand half a day. No.

SPEAKER_01 34:00

Yeah.

SPEAKER_00 34:01

Well, like a reasonable hour to two hours. That should theoretically work, hopefully, hopefully for most families.

SPEAKER_02 34:07

Goodness. Okay.

A Breath And One Tab To Close

SPEAKER_02 34:10

So before we close today, I want to give our listeners a place to land. Yeah. Um, so we're all gonna take a breath. If you're driving, please don't close your eyes.

SPEAKER_01 34:21

I always have to remind them. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 34:29

And if your mind feels like it has 27 tabs open, maybe 40 if you're a business opponent as well. I want to remind you today that you're not behind, you're not failing, you are carrying a lot. Like it is a lot. And like Nicole said, write that list. Write that list because sometimes with it being all up in our head, we can get scrambled. We can balance back and forth between what task is most important right now. I think really, like Nicole told us, like writing that list, prioritizing what needs to be done, like right now, today, and what can I push off until later? Um, and so that's your reflection this week. Is what's one thing, just one thing you can stop holding right now. Just one of the 27 tabs, and it's not forever. Um, but maybe just put it on the back burner for a week or even just a few days, right? Is it a conversation you're needing to have? Is it a task you need to complete? Like those pre-K applications. Yeah, is it lowering the bar on something that you have put high priority on that maybe isn't as high priority as you thought? Use your tools. AI honestly, it is a second pair of eyes. Like it's it tells us things and asks us questions. Yeah, like, is that really that important this week? Or have you just put so much importance on this thing? And maybe these other things are what's actually important. So use the tools. Just a reminder you don't have to feel like your cup is completely empty to feel like you're a good mother at the end of the day. Exhaustion is not the goal at all. We don't want to be exhausted every single, every single day. And like burning out is not a part of being a business owner. It's like, oh, if you burned out, then you made it. No, absolutely not. Absolutely not. We are building businesses, we're going after our goals, we're building these dreams, keeping in mind that we still are human, we still are people, we still have if you're listening to this and your mom, we still have tiny people to take care of, partners to take care of, and ourselves, right? We're not burning out. So let's make sure that we are truly thriving through it all. And I really hope that just everything Nicole shares with us today. Um, hopefully, you take it to heart and put some of that to use this week. So, Nicole, tell the people like where they can find you, where they can get connected.

SPEAKER_00 37:11

Yes. So I just had to make a Facebook page because Meta. I'm learning a lot because let's be clear, I'm not like a social media girly either. Not really. So on Instagram, Dreamy Dens Events, you'll be able to find us there, which is great. And then we do have a Facebook page that has zero followers. So maybe one of you will be the first because we just made it. We just made it and find us on there and like please reach out. Like, whether you need the services or not, my biggest thing is being part of someone's village. Like, ask the questions. I'm pretty much an open book most of the time in my life, so ask away.

SPEAKER_01 37:43

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 37:44

Oh, we will see you back here next week. Bye. Thank you so much for listening up to anything. Or sharemedia. So we can talk about it.