Packing Away Decorations, Unpacking Who You Are Now | EP151

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There’s a moment in early January when you’re putting away the holiday decorations and you suddenly stop.

You’re holding an ornament.
Or a wreath.
Or maybe a holiday mug you don’t even remember buying.

And you think:
Why do I own this?
And maybe… do I still need it?

In this episode of Encore Living, I talk about how that moment—packing things away after the holidays—can become a powerful metaphor for this season of life, especially if you’re an empty nester (or close to it).

Because January isn’t just about putting away decorations.
It’s about deciding what you’re ready to stop carrying forward.

If your house feels unusually quiet…
If your kid just left after the holidays and won’t be back for months…
If January feels heavier than you expected…

This episode is for you.

January invites us to do more than declutter our homes.

It gives us permission to ask:

• What beliefs am I done carrying?
• What pressures no longer belong in this season?
• What part of me feels ready to wake up again?

Not forever.
Not dramatically.
Just… for now.

Putting something away doesn’t mean erasing your past.
It means making room for what’s next.

Reflection questions from the episode

You might want to sit with these slowly, or come back to them later:

• What belief from last year am I ready to put away for now?
• What pressure am I carrying that doesn’t belong in this season?
• What small part of me feels ready to wake up again?

January isn’t asking you to have everything figured out.
It’s just asking you to clear a little space.

You can find me here:

Dr. Thor on Instagram @drthor.tv
Dr. Thor on TikTok @drthor.tv

Website: https://drthor.tv/

Transcript

The January Question

Dr. Thor Challgren 0:00

There's a moment in early January when you're putting away all the holiday decorations and you're holding some kind of holiday decor, maybe the wreath from the front door, or maybe a Christmas-shaped ornament shaped like a llama in a Santa hat. We don't judge, by the way, but you're staring at this thing and you find yourself thinking a deep philosophical question. Why do I own this? And I mean own two ways. Why do you own a llama ornament? And also, why are you choosing to keep this thing, to own it? And all this packing up may be happening at the same time when the house is finally quiet again. The guests are gone, the kids are gone, back in college or back to their lives. And it's just you packing away the holiday chaos. By the way, does it take longer to put away all the decorations in January than it does to put them up in December, or does it just feel that way? Maybe I just feel happier putting them up because I have Christmas carols playing. Anyway, you're standing there staring at this ornament, thinking, okay, this feels metaphorical and not in a subtle way. Because every January we go through the same thing. We're putting things away. And not just the decorations, not just the bins and the lights and the garland, but it's something deeper, something about the year that you just lived. And maybe it's something about what you're ready to leave behind and what you're ready to carry forward. And that's what we're talking about today. As you begin the new year, what are you putting away from last year? You spent years being an awesome parent. You were so good you could have won an Academy Award for best supporting parent. Cut to present day. The kids are grown, the script is gone, and you're thinking, what's this part I'm playing now? Yeah, I get that. I had a 20-year career as a writer in Hollywood. All the while, I was the stay-at-home dad who did it all. Carpool, homework, soccer coach, girl scout leader. Then one day, my daughter left for college, and for me, it felt like the screen went dark. Like my life got canceled mid-season. That's when it hit me. Life wasn't over. I was just in between seasons. Now I'm a published author, TEDx speaker, and a new thought minister. I'm an OG fan of the original Superman movie. Can't pass up a good mocktail, and yeah, I'm the dad who ran a Girl Scout troop for 13 years, so I'm kind of an easy mark at cookie season. Every week I'll share fun, inspiring, and practical strategies to help you start over. Straight from someone who's been there. Welcome to Encore Living. Good morning, good afternoon, good evening, good wherever you are, and welcome back to Encore Living, where we don't pretend January is easy, but we do try to make it meaningful. I'm your host, Dr. Thor. And if you're listening to this episode in early January, I want to begin by saying this. If you're feeling a little off right now, I get it. I get you. This month has a certain emotional feeling, doesn't it? Quiet in a way that we don't necessarily like. And it's the first time, maybe ever, for some of you, that your child has left after the holidays and won't return for months. Not three weeks, not a long weekend, not spring break. We're talking May or June even. It's a long haul. And that impacts you more than you expect. I remember my first year at college. No, not my first year, I don't remember that, but when my daughter first went to college, that was awful, knowing it would be five months before I saw her again. My first year as an empty nester, January, was like the emotional hangover of parenting, without the fun night before. So today we're going to talk about this moment, this exact moment in January, the one where you're packing things away and wondering what else needs to be put away too, like inside your life, inside your mind, inside your story. Not because something is wrong with you, but because a new season has started, and you get to decide what comes with you. So let me start with something honest. January hits differently when you're an empty nester, or almost one. Because here's what happens: your child comes home for the holidays, the house fills up again, there's noise and laughter and laundry, food disappearing, shoes everywhere, the whole deal. And then suddenly, poof, it's gone, just all gone. Suddenly, your house has the energy of the library at closing time. Now, this is where we can start judging ourselves. We can think, why do I feel so sad? Why is it so quiet? Shouldn't I be used to this by now? There's something wrong with me. I should go to urgent care. Or, my favorite, why do other parents handle this better? Which is hilarious because, and I say this lovingly, we have zero evidence that other moms or dads are doing any better. They're just not. So stop thinking that. They're probably just not posting their FaceTime cry sessions in their Instagram stories. So just know that you're not alone. But January has this gravitational pull towards self-judgment. It's like self-judgment decides to come back from its holiday break. It was in Cancun on the beach, getting tan, rested, and ready, and now it's refreshed and energized and ready to critique your every move. For me, it tends to show up when I'm packing decorations or putting things away. I'll be wrapping up some ornament and suddenly I'll think, why am I feeling this way? Shouldn't I have my life more together by now? And that's when the real metaphor hits. January just isn't about putting away holiday stuff. It's about putting away the emotional stuff that may not belong in this next season. Let's talk about putting away holiday decorations. Every January, I go on what I can only describe as a decorative archaeology dig. I find things I didn't know I owned. I find things I'm embarrassed I own. I'm looking at you, Star Wars prequel ornaments. And I find things that make me ask, who bought this? Was I under duress or something? Starts out organized, and then halfway through everything's getting tossed in bins, like I'm late for my Pilates class and I'll get charged if I arrive after five minutes. But here's the interesting part. What if when you're doing this, when you're physically putting things away, your brain started doing it too? What if you started sorting the year that you just lived? The experiences, the emotions, the beliefs. What if your mind started asking, like without asking, do I still need this? Just like you're asking it about a cracked snowman mug. This is where their metaphor gets real, because here's what I think I've realized. January gives you this kind of perfect invitation to put away the emotional things that no longer fit. Not throw them out. We're not Murray Kondoing our souls here. Just put them away for now. Maybe something you carried in 2025 doesn't belong in 2026. Maybe you're done with a certain thought pattern. Maybe you're done pretending that you're fine. Maybe you're done making yourself smaller. Maybe you're done doing everything alone. If you're willing, January can give you the space to say, this was useful once, but it doesn't belong in this new season of my life. Okay, so like I said, one of the things we could consider putting away is self-judgment. Self-judgment, I think it loves January. It shows up with a clipboard and a headset and says, okay, team, we're back. Let's get to work. You'll know it's there when you hear yourself saying things like, I should feel more excited, or I should have my next chapter figured out, or I shouldn't miss my kids this much. Or a really big one. I should be doing something more important by now. It's all these shoulds, and I don't know if you've noticed, but should is never helpful. No one ever changed their life because they said, you know what I should do? I should try harder. That just doesn't feel good. That's the emotional equivalent of tinsel. You're pretty sure it looked nice at some point, but now it's just clinging to everything and making a mess. Personally, when self-judgment shows up for me in January, I try to remind myself to reframe it. I may say something like, Oh, good, you're here. Feel free to take a seat. I'm busy, just ignore it. Because the truth I had to learn the hard and painful way is that self-judgment is not wisdom. It's just old programming. It's outdated decor. And January, it's the perfect time to put it away. So I want to ask you something, something I had to ask myself too. When you look back at 2025, what do you want to put away? Not forever, and just for this season. But what belief maybe did you carry that's just tired? What habit drained you? What pressure felt heavier than it needed to be? What role did you play out of obligation, not desire? For me, the big realization was this. I wasn't auditioning for a reboot of my life. I wasn't trying to find the new me. I was simply clearing space so the next version of me had room to show up. Once I understood that, everything kind of got a lot softer, easier. Reinvention isn't some Hollywood moment where you decide to learn French and run a marathon and start wearing hats. Reinvention usually begins with a plastic bin sitting on your living room floor and allowing thoughts like, maybe I'm ready for something different. Start there. Start with that. So one thing I want to be very mindful and gentle about here is that putting something away is not the same as getting rid of it forever. We're not discarding our past. We're not erasing your parenthood story. We're not pretending the hard things didn't happen. We're just acknowledging that you don't have to carry everything into every season. Some things get to rest, some things get to wait, some things get to change shape. You're allowed to outgrow certain fears. You're allowed to release certain pressures. You're allowed to stop living from old narratives. And you are allowed, absolutely allowed, to start again. I'm going to offer some reflection questions in a moment, along with my own answers. But before I do, I want to offer a simple invitation. If this episode resonated with you, if you found yourself nodding or laughing or thinking, okay, yes, this is exactly where I am, I'd love to stay connected with you. I write a weekly newsletter where I talk about this season of life in an honest, authentic way. It's all about starting again, letting go, identity shifts, those sort of quiet moments that no one warns you about are coming, and the surprising possibilities hiding inside of them. It's nothing spammy, nothing heavy, just thoughtful reflections, practical ideas, and reminders that you're not alone in this chapter. If you'd like to receive that, you can sign up through the link in the show notes. It's a small step, but small steps matter, especially in January. Okay, now on to the reflection questions. I want to offer you a few questions to sit with, the same ones that I sit with in January. I'll put these in the show notes below. So here's the first question. Number one, what belief from last year am I ready to put away for now? For me, in 2026, the belief I'm going to put away is that I don't have enough time. I've got a lot of big things I want to accomplish in 2026, and those things take time. If I tell myself that I don't have enough time, then those things don't come to life. So for me, that's the belief I'm going to put away. So that's number one, what belief from last year am I willing to put away for now? Number two, what pressure am I carrying that doesn't belong in this season? What pressure am I carrying that doesn't belong in this season? That's easy for me. In the first three months of 2026, the pressure of perfection, of having to do everything exactly right, that doesn't belong to me. I'm going to trust that if I do a good job at things and I put my heart into doing the best I can, not the perfect I can. That phrase doesn't even make sense. No, I'm going to do the best I can. And then I'll move on to the next best thing. So the number two question, what pressure am I carrying that doesn't belong? What's your answer to that? Finally, number three, what small part of me feels ready to wake up again? This is one where it may not come to you immediately. Don't force yourself to have an answer. Maybe ask yourself this question before you go to bed tonight. Then be open to the answers that come to you tomorrow. What small part of me feels ready to wake up again? I'll say that for me, I already have a sense that for 2026, I want to have more fun. I think I used to have more fun, and I want that sense again. So I'll be looking for more ways to wake up the fun in 2026. But what about you? What part of you feels ready to wake up again? Okay, here's the one thing that I want you to take from today. It's this. January is not the end of something. It's the beginning. Putting things away doesn't mean losing them. It means making room. It means you trust that something new is coming, something that fits who you are becoming, something that belongs to this next season of your life. You don't have to be ready for it. You don't have to have clarity. You don't have to understand the whole path. You just have to start again. I'm right here with you in 2026. So thank you for listening, and I'll catch you in the next episode.