Before You Set Goals, Celebrate What You Lived Through | EP152

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January has a way of rushing us forward before we’ve had a chance to look back.

In this episode of Encore Living, I talk about why—especially if you’re a parent or empty nester—this might actually be the perfect moment to pause and celebrate what you’ve already lived through.

Not in a forced, confetti kind of way. But in a grounded, honest, “that mattered” way.

If your house feels quieter than it used to…
If your kid just went back to school…
If you’re feeling a little behind heading into the new year…

This episode is for you.

As I mention in the episode, before you decide what comes next, make a list of the most memorable things you did last year.

Big things. Small things. Moments that took energy, courage, or heart.

To give you a sense of what I mean, here’s my list from 2025:

🗽 NYC for my birthday
🎭 Maybe Happy Ending on Broadway
🖼️ NYC museums
📚 Taught an 8-week Let Them Theory class
🌴 Cabo villa (with a chef!)
🇫🇷 Traveled through France for 12 days
🪖 Normandy
🙏 Finished a year-long spiritual program
✍️ Wrote my first novel in 30 days
🔥 Led Whatever It Takes (30 days)
🎓 Ordained as a minister
🚪 Retired after 8 years
🎉 Made it to 2026

When I put it all in one place, I didn’t feel behind anymore. I could actually see what I did. And celebrate it.

After you make your list, ask yourself:

What kind of person does this list describe?

Then finish this sentence:

“I’m the kind of person who…”

P.S. If someone came to mind while you were listening this, feel free to share the episode with them.

You can find me here:

Dr. Thor on Instagram @drthor.tv
Dr. Thor on TikTok @drthor.tv

Website: https://drthor.tv/

Transcript

A Not-Quite-Celebration January

Dr. Thor Challgren 0:00

I don't know what it is about January, but every year around this time I get this sudden urge to sing. Celebrate good times, come on. You know, the cool and the gang song, it's time to come together. Okay, I promise no more singing. But let me ask you, when you heard me start singing, were you thinking celebrate? Yeah, I don't really feel like celebrating. I mean, I get it, I do. My daughter was home for the holidays and now she's gone again. I'm not really celebrating that. So, yeah, if this January feels different than it used to, if the house feels quieter or the rhythm of your life just shifted, this episode is for you. Because today I want to talk about why this might actually be the right moment to celebrate, even if you don't feel ready yet. Why this might be the perfect moment to look back at the year that just ended and ask, what about that year was worth celebrating? Yes, celebrating. In this episode, I'm going to share a very simple way to do that and talk about the reason why it matters. And by the end, I'll give you one powerful sentence you can create, something you can carry with you the rest of this year. So let's get into it. Celebrate. Good times. I'm doing my best not to sing, I promise. You spent years being an awesome parent. You were so good you could have won an Academy Award for Best Supporting Parent. Cut to present day. The kids are grown, the script is gone, and you're thinking, what's this part I'm playing now? Yeah, I get that. I had a 20-year career as a writer in Hollywood. All the while, I was the stay-at-home dad who did it all. Carpool, homework, soccer coach, girl scout leader. Then one day, my daughter left for college, and for me, it felt like the screen went dark. Like my life got canceled mid-season. That's when it hit me. Life wasn't over. I was just in between seasons. Now I'm a published author, pedex speaker, and a new thought minister. I'm an OG fan of the original Superman movie. Can't pass up a good mox Allen. Yeah, I'm the dad who ran a Girl Scout troop for 13 years, so I'm kind of an easy mark at cookie season. Every week I'll share fun, inspiring, and practical strategies to help you start over. Straight from someone who's been there. Welcome to Encore Living. Good afternoon, good evening, good wherever you are, whenever you're listening. I'm Dr. Thor, and if you're new around here, welcome. I'm really glad you're here. So, January. Yeah. I've been thinking a lot about how quickly we rush past this moment. Like December happens, the holidays, all that craziness. And then before you know it, it's January, and you're supposed to, I don't know, have it all figured out, I guess. We just move from one year into the next. We we ask ourselves what we're supposed to do now, who we're supposed to be now. It's like there's this invisible pressure to decide immediately, to optimize, to get moving, to set the perfect goals, to begin the year with a smile on our face and a song in our heart. Yeah, that sounds corny, I know. Frankly, I blame the ball drop on New Year's Eve in New York City. That ball drops at midnight. We toast, we kiss, and we drink some more. And here's the thing: I don't think we ever stop to question that. This idea that we have to figure it out by January 1st, because we're actually really good. I mean, really good at looking forward. We're trained to do that, probably from caveman days. You always had to be looking ahead. What's next to survive? But we're not very good at pausing long enough to just look back, even a little bit. So here's what I've been noticing. Even when we think we're looking back, we kind of aren't. I mean, yeah, your iPhone is going to show you a few photos from last year. Spotify will be all like, hey, check out your most played songs. Your watch might be like, look at all the rings you closed. And don't get me wrong, that stuff can be kind of fun, but that's not really looking back. That's just data. It's not the same as if you stopped and said, hmm, wait a second. That year, last year, it actually mattered. I kind of did some things that took something out of me. Most of us don't do that. We just move on. And I think this is especially true if you're a parent. Because for years your focus has been forward-facing. Your focus has been on your kids. What's next for them? What do they need now? What milestone is coming up? So, yeah, you get good at tracking other people's progress, their grades, the games, the like the applications, schedules, deadlines. And honestly, you were probably pretty good at it, right? Way to go, you. So, yeah, that's what being a good parent looks like. But on that journey, while you were doing for them, nobody asked you to pause and reflect. Nobody said, you know, before we go on, mom, how'd that go for you? So here we are in January. Your kid goes back to school. The house definitely feels kind of quiet, right? Pace of your day changes. I mean, not dramatically, not with fireworks, but enough that you notice it. You might walk by their room, there's no noise, the lights are off. And if the month of January was like a person, they'd probably be pestering you with questions about the future, like, what's next? What are you doing now? What's your plan? But nobody really asks you to acknowledge what you just lived through. And when you skip that step, when you don't take a moment to recognize what you did, something interesting happens. You start the new year feeling behind or maybe tired. And you see these ads for cortisol, and you think, yeah, maybe that's it. I don't have enough cortisol or or too much. I whatever, I don't know how cortisol works. Or you think you should be doing more, even if you can't quite say what more is. And that's the part I want to slow down today. Because celebration, like real celebration, not the New Year's Eve confetti kind, it's not about pretending last year was perfect. It's about recognition, meaning someone, hopefully you, recognizing what you did, saying, way to go, good job. No, saying great job. It's about closing a chapter instead of dragging it unfinished into the next one. It's about reminding yourself, honestly, you know what? I handled something. I showed up. I finished a season of my life, okay. So before we talk about what this year, 2026, could be, I want to talk about why it matters to look back first. Let me give you a few really common examples of where this gets skipped. And as I'm saying these, uh, just notice if any of them feel familiar. First one, graduation. Your kid graduates, like high school, college, whatever it is. You celebrate them. There are parties, photos, and speeches. And this is kind of a big deal, right? I mean, it should be. But I'm guessing there's probably no one in this whole process who turns to you and says, hey, good job. Or, you know, hey, you know, before we move on, let's talk about what you just did. Think about it. You raised a human being. You worried, you showed up, you stayed in it for years, and then the moment passes, and you're already on to the next thing. Sound familiar? Or here's here's another one. Let's say a job ends. Maybe you quit or or you retired, maybe you were laid off, or maybe it just ended. And what happens? You immediately go into fix it mode, right? Update the resume, check your LinkedIn, figure out the the next move. You're in solve it mode, and you're probably pretty good at that. But do you ever stop and say, wait, what what did that job require of me? What did you learn? What did you accomplish? What did you achieve? Most of us, we don't do this, you know? It's like January. We just immediately go into solving the next issue. We just move on. And here's one that's maybe even harder. A relationship ends, or you experience a loss. There's grief, shock, probably in survival mode. I know that's what it was like when I lost each of my parents. And you know, in that place, you're not gonna celebrate. Of course not. You don't want to be inappropriate or selfish, but I want to be clear. I'm certainly not talking about celebrating the loss. No. I'm talking about acknowledging what was good and maybe even beautiful about that relationship or what was good about you in that relationship. What you gave, what you loved, what you showed up for. That matters too. So when you look at all of this together, there's a pattern. We are very good at honoring other people's milestones. We're great at dealing with what's next, but we're not very good at saying something meaningful just happened in my life, and I am allowed to notice that. And as I'm saying this, you you might be thinking of someone else, a friend, a sibling, another parent whose kid just went back to school, someone who's in this same in-between space that you are. If that's happening for you, you might consider sharing this episode with them. Not in a, you know, hey, something's wrong with you kind of way, check this out. Just in a, hey, this made me feel less alone way. And honestly, they probably will appreciate you for it. They might even think you're a pretty cool friend. And, you know, who doesn't want that? Who knows? Maybe the two of you grab coffee or take a walk or sit on the phone and do the little exercise that I'm about to share. Celebrate what you've lived through because this stuff, you don't have to do it alone. And whether you do this on your own or you end up sharing it with someone else, when you skip that step of pausing, you skip it over and over. You start to believe a story that nothing much happened, that you didn't really do anything, that you should be further along by now, which is usually not true. It's just not documented. So before we move on, I want to suggest one simple thing you can do. It doesn't take long, it's not complicated. You make a list. Yep, make a list. Here's the key thing: you don't have to explain anything on the list. You don't have to justify, you don't have to make it sound impressive. This list, it's just for you. What do you put on it? Well, I'll share mine in a second, but for your list, you might include things like trips that you took, things that were a big deal, maybe memorable experiences, accomplishments, awards, even surprising things that you didn't see coming. It can be part big things, part small things. Everything counts. And so that you can get a better sense, I'll share mine. I put it in the show notes too, so you can see exactly what I mean. You'll see in the show notes that I added fun little emojis just because I want more fun in 2026. So here's what my list for 2025 looked like. New York City for my birthday. We went to New York City for a long weekend to celebrate my birthday in January. By the way, if you're trying to recall what you did last year, check your photos on your phone. That definitely helped me a lot. I could look at that and see, like, oh yeah, I did that. Okay, so next on my list, saw Maybe Happy Ending on Broadway. This was the Broadway musical which went on to win the Tony for Best New Musical, which I correctly predicted. Not that I'm some kind of Broadway genius, but we saw that. Very cool. Love that experience. Visited a bunch of museums in New York. Yes, love that. Simple thing. Taught an eight-week let them theory class. At my spiritual center, I taught an eight-week class on relationships using the Mel Robbins book, Let Them Theory. We had like 30 people in that class. Went to Cabo and stayed in a villa with a chef. This was an amazing trip. Super fun. I mean, come on, private chef, right? That had to be cool. Traveled through France for 12 days. What can I say? Bucket list experience. Always wanted to go there. Loved every part of it. I think I might have cried when I saw the Eiffel Tower for the first time. It was that amazing. Went to Normandy. We went there while in Paris. Very meaningful day. Super glad that we did that. Finished a long-term spiritual program. I was in a class for a year and that concluded in June. So yeah, that counts. Wrote my first novel in 30 days. Again, another thing I'd always wanted to do. I had the idea outlined for years. So in July, I set a goal to write the first 50,000 words in 30 days. Did it. Led a 30-day, whatever it takes experience. That's a program I run with another amazing minister and speaker, Dr. Liza Marquez. In whatever it takes, people took on a challenge and finished something meaningful to them in 30 days. That was really powerful. I got ordained as a minister. Yep, I'm now ordained as a new thought minister. Retired after eight years. I stepped down from my position so I could focus more on the new things I wanted to bring into the world. Things like whatever it takes, this podcast, and my work as a novelist. That was a big decision. I'm proud of myself. Last on my list, made it to 2026. That's it. That's my list for 2025. Now listen, that list isn't a resume. Some of those things are big. Paris, writing a novel. In fact, those might be the two biggest things on the list in terms of what I'll remember years from now. And some of the things on the list, they're just, you know, life, going to museums, teaching a class. But when I put them all in one place, I was kind of cool to see. I'm like, oh yeah, I did that. And seeing that, I didn't feel like the year disappeared. I didn't feel behind anymore. I could actually see what I did and celebrate it. And that's the point. So I have one more thing to share. It's a simple sentence you can use to set your intention for the entire year. It takes that list that you just made and makes it actionable. And before I share that, if you've enjoyed this episode, if this way of thinking about January has been helpful, I'd love to invite you to join my free weekly newsletter. It's called Encore Living Insider. It's where I share ideas like this as I'm developing them, along with reflections that don't always make it into the podcast. And I'll tell you this, I'm working on a special free bonus right now where I go much deeper into this whole idea of celebration. It's called 99 Ways to Celebrate You. People on the insider list are going to hear about that first. So you can sign up in the link in the show notes below. Okay, so when you look at the list you made, something may start to happen. You don't just see events anymore, you start to see patterns. You might see how you move through the world, what you tend to finish, what you come back to, what matters to you enough that you actually show up for it. And that's where the shifts from celebration to something deeper. Because before you set goals, before the resolutions, there's identity. So instead of asking, what do you want to do this year? I want to offer you a different question. What kind of person does this list describe? What kind of person does this list describe? And here's the sentence I want you to try on. This is the sentence I described earlier. I'm the kind of person who then you finish it. I'm the kind of person who fill in the blank. I'm the kind of person who and then you just finish it. Not with what you wish were true, but what your list already proves. Maybe it's I'm the kind of person who follows through. I'm the kind of person who keeps learning. I'm the kind of person who takes risks even later in life. Or I'm the kind of person who does hard things scared. There's no right or wrong answer here. The only suggestion I'd make, it should be honest. For me, when I looked at my list, one sentence kept coming up. I'm the kind of person who finishes things. That phrase, I'm the kind of person who finishes things, that didn't come from a vision board. It didn't come from some January optimism. It came from evidence. And that's that's why it matters. Because when you start a year grounded in who you already are, instead of worrying about what you think you're supposed to become, everything changes. It really does. Your decisions get lighter, the pressure goes away. You stop trying to prove something. You're not starting from zero. You're starting from experience. So if you do nothing else after listening to this episode, do these two things. Make that list and let it tell you who you already are. Write that sentence. I'm the kind of person who fill in the blank. Then you get to decide what comes next. Because you don't need a brand new version of yourself this year. You just need to start from the truth of who you are. That's how you celebrate. That's how you begin again. And that's Encore Living. If you like this episode, please consider subscribing to the show. That way you'll always have these conversations waiting for you when a new episode drops on Mondays. And if you haven't already, check out the Encore Living Insider newsletter. That's where I share reflections like this one, along with what I'm working on next. The link is in the show notes below. Thanks for spending this time with me today. Until next time, take care of yourself.