The COST Of a Goal (AND The Secret to Achieving Them)

Today, I want to let you all in on a BIG secret about goal setting, and the process of goal achievement. It is something that causes so many people to give up on their goals, and knowing this, is the game changer to STOP the "quitting process" in its tracks. So, listen up... You DO NOT want to miss this!

Enjoy!!!

Transcript

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Welcome to the authentic life connection podcast. I'm your host, Seth Lusk. I'm a master certified life coach, author, personal trainer and nutrition specialist. For over a decade, I've been helping people with their dreams and goals for their life and health. I spent many years watching people get frustrated with their journey in life and giving up on taking actions towards their goals. So I dug in deep to find answers to why so many of us face this same frustration and struggle in life. So in this podcast, we're gonna dive in deep on topics surrounding what it means to consistently live a fulfilling and authentic life, where you are unstoppable and taking action towards your dreams and goals. So the only question is, are you ready to start living your most authentic and fulfilling life once and for all? Then let's get started. Shall we? Hey, everyone, welcome back to the podcast. For those of you listening in for the first time, welcome, welcome, you picked a great episode to join in on because today, we're gonna talk about, I think one of the biggest reasons why the life coaching industry even exists today. And it's because so many of us have ideas about the life that we want to be living, we have goals for the life that we want to be living. And so many of us either A, never do anything to make that a reality, or B, we constantly start and give up and start and give up and start and give up over and over again. And one of the things that I've noticed, in my work as a life coach, and even in my own life, prior to me, working with life coaches, and sort of really honing in on what it is that I want for my life, and why it is that I haven't been making it a reality for my life. One of the things that I've really run across, that I noticed is pretty much a common theme. And everybody who is struggling with this, including myself, I was struggling with this is that when we set goals, many times we don't think about the, I guess, investments associated or costs associated with us making that a livable reality within our own life. My friends, we cannot escape life without investment or paying, we are constantly paying something just to be alive on this planet. And what I find is that so many people, when they're not, not the people that don't go after their goals, that's something different to talk about. But the people that start their goals and give up and start their goals and give up. And they wonder why they keep doing that. What I find is when I when I start working with them and talking with them, and going through the times that they've started their goal and given up and started and given up is that they always stop at the same point, almost every time they stop at the same point. And when I look at what is this point, and why are they stopping there 99.9999999% of the time, it's because they reach a friction point. And the reality that they're currently accepting as being their truth. And the new reality that they will create for themselves to create the life and go after the goal and achieve the goal that they want. They reach this friction point in which the investment, the cost asks of them to pay in order to move into that reality. They're not willing to do it, or they see it as being a problem. They see it as being an indicator to stop. And for the people that don't start their goals at all. A lot of the times when I talk to them about it, it is because they want the result in their life. But they're unwilling to invest. And it's it's really kind of sad, and also a bit ironic, because, you know, a life coach of mine that I that I really admire life coach that I follow and admire is talked about this recently. And she was talking about the fact that you know, we don't go and look at the stock market and see what other people are getting out of investing in the stock market. And we don't see that and think, oh, I should be getting that too. Even though we've never invested anything in the stock market. A lot of us might wish that we would get that but we understand in order to receive pay back out of the stock market in order to receive dividends out of the stock market, we need to invest. And your life is the same way. Your life is the same way you are paying a cost. Already, you're already paying a cost. The question is, are you investing in paying a cost in your life that creates the life that you want, most of you would say no, because the life you're living isn't the life you actually want. It's the life you think you're stuck with. It's the life you're surviving. But it's not the life you truly want. And you have goals in life that you're not going after, or you keep going after and stopping and going after and stopping. Because you have this idea in your head, that somehow it's just going to come to you. And eventually you're going to figure out the shortcut, where it's, you're going to be able to do this little amount of work, and it's just going to happen for you. You haven't fully considered what are the costs, you're going to pay to make that goal a reality. And you're also not even considering what are the costs you're currently paying by not making that goal a reality in your life. And so today, I want to talk about this, I want to talk about the process you need to go through, or that we all go through when we set a true goal for ourselves and set ourselves up to achieve it. And in this process, we need to do this sort of cost to benefit analysis. And so many of us aren't doing it, and we're not doing it truthfully, or we're doing it just sort of kind of haphazardly, or kind of on the side and like brushing the we're not really looking through this. And so I want you all to kind of understand today, what this means what this takes from you what I want you all to begin considering. And when you work with a life coach, what what we're going to help you get really clear on because there a lot of costs and benefits that people on their own when they analyze this they don't consider. So hiring a life coach is going to help you with getting really, really clear on this. But I want you to begin thinking about today how often you've either brushed a goal aside, or gone after a goal and quit, because you haven't done this work ahead of time. So I want to make it clear what we're talking about when we talk about costs and benefits here, because a lot of you all the way you go about it is the costs are, you know, like a few things you might consider and the benefits are when you achieve the goal. And this it's not that simple. So I want to I want to kind of break this down for you all today and make it kind of a little bit more clear. As far as what I mean when I say doing a true cost benefit analysis when it comes to setting and achieving our goals. So when we go to achieve our goals, when we go to set our goals, the first thing that we need to consider is what is the goal, and why it is that we want it. And if the reason why you want the goal is simply for the result of achieving the goal and having it I'm here to tell you, it won't be enough, it will not be enough to sustain you through paying the cost putting up the investment that is going to cost you in order to achieve the goal and receive the benefit. Okay, so the first thing you need to do is really get clear on what is the goal? And why is it that you want it on an authentic level for you? Okay, that's the first thing. Second thing that you really need to consider is what is the cost currently, that you are paying in your life? By not making this a reality? By not making this your lived experience in life? What cost are you currently paying, the cost is going to be both emotional, and physical, my friends, there are emotional costs that you are constantly paying, by diminishing, dismissing and rejecting your true desires in life, you are paying them constantly. And then you're also paying a physical cost. Because in order to survive that emotional experience, you are doing a lot of buffering work in your life to try and survive that emotional experience. And that buffering work could be eating, it could be drinking, it could be shopping, it could be gambling, it could be sex, it could be so many different ways in which you are physically going to pay a cost by trying to constantly dismiss and reject your true desires in life. So you are paying a cost and you need to be clear on that. First and foremost. The next thing I need you to consider is what is the cost of going after the goal. And the costs for going after the goal. Are there's the obvious ones, it's going to take time it is going to take effort. But here are some of the costs that people don't think about the cost that people don't think about, and then they get into going after the goal. And then when they start incurring these costs, seeing this request for investment upfront, pop up, they think they've done something wrong, and that it's time to quit. And so they give up, because they're being asked to do something that they think that shouldn't be asked of me. But it does, it is asked of you, and it should be asked of you, it is your investment upfront. To make that goal a reality. Some of these costs are these investments are things like experiencing uncomfortable emotions. That experience is a cost that many of you don't consider, or what those emotional experiences are going to be you don't consider them and you're unwilling to pay them. But it is a requirement by friends. When we create something new in our life, we are going to experience big and uncomfortable emotions. And that is a cost and investment, you need to be aware of upfront, and decide ahead of time, I am willing to pay this, I am willing to invest this experience upfront to to create this in my life to contribute this to the world around me. That's one of the one of the investments that I think a lot of people don't think about upfront, don't consider, don't write out and they're unaware of. And then when they come up to it, they think something has gone wrong, and they quit experiencing things like guilt or shame, experiencing things like fear and uncertainty, experiencing things like anxiety. And people that when they when it comes they're like, Oh no, this, this shouldn't be happening. And then they obviously something is wrong, and they give up on their goal. So you need to be clear on that upfront. What are those emotional, big emotions you're going to experience? And are you willing to feel those emotions and feelings in order to come through them on the other side and create the thing that you truly desire in your life, you need to be clear on your willingness to invest that experience upfront. The other thing a lot of people don't recognize and investment that a lot of people don't recognize that you're going to pay upfront when it comes to changing your life. Creating a new lifestyle, creating a whole new way of living is that relationships in your life are going to change. Some relationships are going to have more distance in them, some are going to get closer that you didn't expect. And it might feel a bit uncomfortable. Are you willing to pay that investment upfront? This is something that a lot of people don't think about and consider less time with friends, less time with specific friends that you do specific activities with less time doing those specific activities and using them to buffer away emotional experiences. That is another investment. A lot of you all do not consider what is the cost you are going to pay for going after this goal. Then the other thing that a lot of people don't consider is not just the cost of going after the goal. But there is a cost you are going to pay for achieving the goal. And a lot of people don't think about this either. When you are living when you when you go after a goal and you achieve it, you are living a different life on the other side. And there are going to be things that you are going to let go of that you're currently holding on to that won't serve you on the other side of that goal. Are you ready to let go of those things? When it comes to things like weight loss, one of the things you're going to let go of on the other side is emotional eating is over eating is sitting down and consuming your emotions. Are you willing to let go of that habit to have the life on the other side that you want to have? Where you've lost the weight and you feel better, you feel healthier, you feel more energetic, and you have the body that's able to do the things that you want to do in life? Are you willing to invest that a lot of you think you're not willing to invest that you want to eat your feelings while my friends right now what you're experiencing the weight gain all of the health conditions that come along with it, that's the price you're paying. That's the investment you're paying for that lifestyle up front. So the question is, are you willing to stop paying that price and pay a different one, because you're gonna pay one either way. And people aren't willing to consider this. But this is important when it comes to setting up your goals. When or when you're in the middle of going after a goal. And you're considering quitting. This is a cost benefit analysis that you need to go through before you just quit. So many of you are giving up on your goals without ever considering this without going through this process. And really reaffirming these are the costs that I'm going to pay. These are the investments I'm going to pay up front and my way willing to do this to create this reality in my life that I truly desire? It's something to consider something to weigh out. What are the costs you're not willing to pay? How are you going to? How are you going to account for those costs and pay for them somewhere else invest in it somewhere else, in order to create that reality, the cost has to come somewhere, you're not going to get through this without paying a cost without paying an investment upfront, just like you wouldn't expect to receive money from the stock market without investing, you're not going to receive the benefits of the life that you truly desire without investing upfront, my friends, it is a requirement. And so many of you all are not considering this. And you're going about your goals, unwilling to pay any investment upfront, my friends, you're not going to get this I'm sorry. That's, it's ridiculous to think that you're going to do this. But so many of you all think you're gonna get through this because you're not being real with yourself about what is the goal? Why is it that I want to? What are the costs that I'm currently paying for not not going after this goal, and what are the costs that I'm going to pay by going after this goal, the next thing I want you to consider, like I just said, is the cost of achieving the goal, what things are going to no longer be present in your life, are you willing to give those things up, in order to free yourself, to have the things in your life that are going to come from living that new life from achieving that goal? My friends, a lot of us have this ridiculous idea that we're going to achieve a goal and all of a sudden life is just gonna be better on the other side. And that is not the point of achieving a goal, life is still going to be 5050. On the other side of a goal, it's going to be a different 5050, you're gonna have 50, you're gonna have 50% new problems, and 50% new benefits that you're going to be reaping on the other side that are going to be different than what you're paying and reaping right now. But this idea that we're going to get on the other side, and life is just going to be better, we're not going to have costs, we're not going to have problems. That's ridiculous, it's not going to happen. And have you considered what are those new problems that you're going to have on the other side of achieving this goal? What are the new benefits, then that's where we get to the other side of this. Now let's talk about the benefits, because the obvious one that we always consider is the benefit of achieving the goal. But my friends, if all you are doing is going after this goal to achieve the benefits of it, or to receive the benefits of achieving the goal, you've already failed, you've already failed. Because if you are looking to reap the benefit of achieving the goal, and that's the reason for going after it will not sustain you through the investment and the cost that you will pay up front for achieving it, you have to recognize that the benefits that come with achieving the goal, they are a reality. But they're not going to sustain you through the process of achieving the goal. So these are the benefits that I want you all to begin considering. And what so few of you are clear on or have even considered or know how to consider is the benefits of the process of going after the goal. And this, my friends, we get so much more so so so so so much more than enriches our life out of the process of going after a goal than we actually get from achieving the goal. And I know this, because I've done this time and time again, I've achieved so many of my goals in life. But what I recognize is that the benefit, the thrill, the benefit of actually achieving the goal is so much cheaper than the benefits that I look back on and recognize that I gained from the process of investing and paying and fighting through that process of achieving the goal. The things that I gained there are so much more magnificent and powerful and life altering than the benefit of achieving the goal. And, and so many of you all are not even thinking about this not even considered, you're so focused on achieving the goal. You don't even look at all of the things you're gaining by struggling through the process of achieving the goal. All of the things that you are gaining and learning and enriching your life with by being willing to be in that discomfort, that uncomfortable process of paying the investment upfront to achieve the goal. There are so many benefits there. And so many of you all are not even thinking about it, not looking at it, not considering it and not being clear on it upfront. Because when you can pay attention to these, this is the secret sauce my friend to getting your brain on board with going through this process. If you're not clear on this, your brain is going to so easily convince you to just give up. When you start focusing on all of the cost that you're incurring by going through the process and not looking at the benefits that you're incurring by going through the process not by achieving your brain will so easily convince you to give up, and I see it happen over and over and over and over again. So, my friends, I think it's time. If you're one of these people that you find yourself constantly pushing off procrastinating on a goal of procrastinating on changing your life to the life that you want to live, I want you to look at have you done a true cost benefit analysis that I've just explained here? Have you done it? Because if you haven't, that's a big reason why you're doing this. A big reason why you're doing this. The other question I wanted to ask you is, are you someone who has started a goal and given up started a goal and given up started a goal and given up? My question to you is, before you give up, have you done have you re evaluated your cost to benefit ratio, because a lot of times the investments will change the further we get into the process investments that we weren't aware of upfront. And the opportunities that we get by going through the process also change. And so therefore the investments change. So before you give up, are you doing a cost benefit analysis? And really looking at what are the investments I'm paying right now? What are the what are the benefits that I get out of paying these investments and going through this process? Am I willing to pay these investments? Am I willing to pay these costs right now, to achieve this goal? What are the benefits of me going through this process? How worth it are those in my life. And a lot of times my friends, what I find is when when I when I get really when I go through this with a person and get really clear on these things with them. They're like, of course, I'm still willing to go through this. And sometimes a person can genuinely say, You know what, we've reached a point where the price that I'm paying the investment that I'm paying, is no longer worth it for me, it's no longer what I want. And I want to change the goal, I want to change the goal. And when you can do it from that space, it's no longer about giving up. And this is this is how you'll know the difference when you make the change to shift your goal. From this empowered space of really evaluating your cost of benefits, and realizing changing the goal isn't going to you know, stop the costs. It's just those aren't the costs that I'm going to pay, I'm going to pay these ones over here. These ones aligned with my values, these ones that align with what I truly desire in my life. These are the costs I'm willing to pay, those aren't. So I'm shifting the goal. So then it's not about giving up on the goal because you're unable to do it. It's not about giving up on the goal, because you don't know how it's not about giving up on the goal because you can't figure it out, and you're not good enough. It's about changing the goal, because you realize, this isn't the direction I want to go with my life. And you wouldn't know that without without going through the process that you went through. And paying and investing the things that you did upfront to get to that point where you're able to do that cost benefit analysis and make that empowered shift. And I want, I want you all to go through this process with yourself. Because I see so many of y'all out there living such disempowered realities, and not not pushing yourself into that uncomfortable, powerful shifting of your life. And really seeing what you are made of and what you want out of life. Because you're trying to avoid those investments, you're trying to avoid those costs. And you're just sitting there and licking your wounds and hiding in the cave. And feeling so disempowered feeling so unable to create the life that you truly desire. And, and just surviving that cave. And thinking that's all there is for you in life. And I want to call you out of that cave. And I want you to make the conscious decision about the life you want. And the costs, the investment you're going to pay upfront to make it your reality. And the benefits you are going to gain not just from making it a reality, but from going through the growing process of learning what it takes to show up that way in life and make that your reality. I want you all to begin recognizing that this my friends, is part of the process. This this is this is your ticket into the empowered life that you truly desire. And so many of us have bought into this lie this BS lie of immediate gratification and pleasure now, so much so that we're hiding in caves and surviving a reality that someone else created and handed to us and rejecting our our true purpose, rejecting our true beautiful potential rejecting that experience of life that we are designed that full experience of life that we are designed to experience and live and learn through, simply because we're believing this lie, that life is supposed to be this easy, comfortable, pleasureful hiding act of just constantly rejecting our true desires in the background for the sake of pleasure and gratification now, and not living in to that potential and seeing what we're capable of creating in this world, when we're willing to step into the discomfort of the investments that we create that life that we're, we're being called to create. But we're like, Ah, no, that would be uncomfortable. So we just sit in the cave, by the fire, and slowly waste away that potential and I'm here to call you out of the cave. To see the powerful, beautiful life that you were you are designed to thrive in and live and be excited by, and the investments that you're truly willing and desire to pay to make that a reality. I want to call you forward and to consciously seeing that and making the decision to do so. Stop hiding in the cave, come out, come out, wherever you are, it's time to pay the investments to build the life you were designed for. I love you all. I'll talk to you again here next week. Until then. Thank you for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed the content of this podcast. If you did, please subscribe so that you're one of the first people to know when I release a new episode each week. If you have any questions or if you have interest in learning more about the coaching that I do with my clients one on one, then just head over to my website at WWW dot life coach seth.com that's www dot life coach seth.com there you're going to have the ability to reach out to me for questions that you might have or to book your free discovery call with me to discuss what one on one coaching with me might be like for you. You can also check out an order your copy of my book to get a taste of what I'm all about as a person and as a coach. I'm so happy that you joined us today and I hope to have you here again next week. So until then, let authenticity be the guide to your most unstoppable and fulfilling journey of life.