Distraction Personal-Development

Did you know that distraction during the journey of personal development is a HUGE cause of people finding themselves feeling "stuck" in a life they do not want? Did you know that SOOOOOO many people use "personal-development" tools, strategies, systems, workshops, groups, etc... AS a form of distraction FROM their authentic personal-development?

It is far more common than you think. In this episode, I tell you where and how I see it happening. I explain to you how to recognize if you are doing it, AND how to break out of the cycle.
So... Listen in. You DO NOT want to miss this!

Enjoy!

Transcript

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Welcome to the authentic life connection podcast. I'm your host, Seth Lusk. I'm a master certified life coach, author, personal trainer and nutrition specialist. For over a decade, I've been helping people with their dreams and goals for their life and health. I spent many years watching people get frustrated with their journey in life and giving up on taking actions towards their goals. So I dug in deep to find answers to why so many of us face this same frustration and struggle in life. So in this podcast, we're gonna dive in deep on topics surrounding what it means to consistently live a fulfilling and authentic life, where you are unstoppable and taking action towards your dreams and goals. So the only question is, are you ready to start living your most authentic and fulfilling life once and for all? Then let's get started. Shall we? Hey, everyone, welcome back to the podcast. For those of you listening in for the first time, welcome, welcome, you picked a great episode to join in on because this is a personal development podcast given to you by yours truly, that being me, a life coach. And as a life coach, I am constantly working with people in the area of their personal development and helping them to realign with what is truly most important for them prior to them being told what should be or needs to be or has to be important for them. And helping them to really make a conscious and empowered decision about what is important for them in this life, what they want to accomplish with their life, what they want to do with their life, how they want to spend their time in this life, what things they want to create and contribute to this life in in from an authentic space, and then helping them to create a vision and a plan forward to make that happen. So I'm, I'm working in the space of personal development, that is my profession. That's that's what I do. And I noticed some trends in personal development that I bring to you all on this podcast. And today, the what I want to talk with you all about is a bit interesting, because it's something that I have observed in my own life and all of my clients lives. Almost all of my clients lives and in friends lives. And it took me forever to kind of like, put a finger on what was happening here. And today, what we're going to talk about is distraction, personal development. And what I mean by that is this phenomenon that I see as a life coach with people using personal development, quote unquote, so in other words, seminars, books, strategies, podcasts, courses, things like this as a distraction from their actual personal development. And you might be like, how does that work? So that's what we're going to talk about today. So in order to jump into this topic, the first thing that we need to do is talk about distraction. And what it actually is, I've done an entire podcast episode on this, I would encourage you to go back and listen to that episode. But to kind of briefly describe what distraction is, here's what it is, in order for distraction to occur. First of all, we need something to be distracted from, okay, so we aren't distracted just because we aren't focused on one thing. That is that is not distraction, there needs to be a goal or a direction that we are heading towards. That is intentional and desired. And distraction is any action that causes us to either slow down movement towards that direction or goal, to stop moving in that direction or towards that goal, or to change directions entirely. So there needs to be a clearly defined goal and direction and desire for that direction or goal for distraction to occur. What a lot of people call distraction is really just them not consciously choosing a direction that they want to go in. And so they're just constantly shifting directions, shifting directions, shifting directions, which is really more procrastination. But in a way this could also be seen as distraction. It's you distracting yourself from the task of choosing a direction that is intentional for you and truly desired. But the point here, what I need for you to understand is that distraction is not something that happens to us. Distraction occurs when there is a direction or a goal that we are desiring to move towards and instead We choose action that either stops our movement towards it changes the direction of our movements, or we're not going towards that or slows down our movement towards it by choosing this action. Okay, so that is distraction. And what I want for you all to first of all understand before we go any further in this is that distraction is a choice, it is a choice that we make to take an action, that is distraction, the opposite of distraction is not focus, it is traction, okay, which is action towards the thing, that is our intention at the time. So, distraction doesn't happen to us, because distraction is action that we take. And we only take action, when we choose to act. Now, oftentimes, this action can occur subconsciously. But it is a choice still, because what we're doing is we're delegating to our brain, our responsibility as an empowered human being, to make choices for us of the actions that we will take. So we literally hand over to the reins to our brain and say, hey, just, I'm not going to check you not going to keep you in check, not going to manage you whatsoever. Here are the reins, you tell me where we go, and I'm just gonna do it. Whatever urge you throw out to me, I'm just gonna do it. And so this is it's still a choice. The choice occurred when we handed over the reins, the or the steering wheel of our life to the brain and said, Hey, you just urge me in whatever direction you want to go in. And I'm just gonna follow. So by making that choice, we then allow our brain to tell us what actions we're going to take, including actions that are a distraction. Which brings me to so what is the purpose of distraction? Why would the brain choose distraction? Why would we even consciously choose distraction, because it is also sometimes distraction is a conscious choice, we might not like to see the fact that we're making the conscious choice. But when we really understand what distraction is, we can see oh, yeah, I actually, I decided to do that. I kind of hid it from myself a little bit. But I decided to do that I was very aware that I was deciding to do that I just didn't realize why it was doing or what I was doing. But it was about distraction. So distraction is a choice. And the purpose of distraction, is that we choose it. Because we are avoiding an internal trigger of emotional discomfort. That is stemming from our story about our beliefs about or our thoughts surrounding the action that is in front of us, that would be traction. So in other words, we have a plan, we know what our next step is, we see the steps that would be necessary to take to move forward, which would be traction. And we have a thought, or a belief, or a story about that action, that creates an emotion within us that we perceive as being undesirable, or too uncomfortable or too big for us to handle. And because of this story, and because of the belief that we can't handle it, and that the emotion is too big, or the emotion is too uncomfortable because of that story is well, what we do is we choose action to avoid that discomfort. That's what the brain does best when it is unmanaged. So if you're not consciously managing your mind, distraction is going to be your brain's choice of action more often than not. And sometimes even when we're conscious, and we're managing our brain, we can sometimes choose distraction, and a little bit of unawareness, or we kind of try and hide it from ourselves or try and lie to ourselves about what we're doing. But the truth is, we're choosing distraction. We're choosing to do something in order to avoid an emotion that we don't want to experience or that we think that we can't experience or that is dangerous for us to experience or that we shouldn't have to experience. So this is distraction. The purpose of distraction. Is this right here. It's not because we're some kind of lazy, flawed beings. It is because we have a human brain. And that human brain is a bit outdated and its biological wiring and we you know, evolution of the human brain hasn't caught up to society because society develops a lot faster than biology can can evolve. And the human brains biology and evolution is to avoid discomfort. Seek pleasure and avoid pain, avoid uncertainty. And distraction is one of its methods of doing this. So you might be like, Okay, well then how does personal development play into this? How do we use personal development as a distraction? Because personal development is always uncomfortable, right? I mean, let's face it, when we're developing, when we're, when we're growing, when we're changing, it always feels a bit uncomfortable, because we're moving into new territory. So how then can personal development be distraction, if the purpose of distraction is to avoid discomfort? Okay, so let me explain this to you. Personal Development becomes a distraction, when we choose paths of personal development that are out there that are, you know, commonly accepted as this is personal development. When we choose a path forward, that feels less uncomfortable than the one right in front of us that we know if we did this, it would move us closer to the life that we actually want. This is the lesson that we are designed to learn to move forward into the life that we want. So this is this is how I see people using personal development as a distraction is that they reach a point in their personal development, where the the required investment of their time, their effort, their energy, their emotional discomfort, the required investment to them looks so uncomfortable, or so scary, or so big or impossible to them, whatever their story is, that they instead of doing that, that thing that would that would develop them and get them through that gate into towards the life that they're actually wanting to create for themselves. Instead of that. They're like, Oh, but look at this little course over here. That could be fun. That could be cool. And oh, yeah, that that could be something that I could get behind that could help me out a lot. Yeah, let's, let's do that over there. Oh, look at this group over here that's doing this that could look these people, this looks like a fun group to join. And look, they're they're doing all these positive things right here. And that could be cool. And I can see myself, you know, developing. And so they start to choose books, podcasts, groups, to join groups to create, you know, things to do courses to take other coaches to hire this as another I've seen people like, they get to a point with their life coach, where their coach literally lays out in front of them, listen, here, here is your obstacle. This is what you keep avoiding. This is the obstacle, you keep telling yourself, it's not over there. But this is the obstacle is that going through this is scary for you. And you keep telling yourself and finding ways to avoid going through this. And they see this The Life Coach points pointed out to them. So they go and they find another life coach who will point them in a different direction until that life coach figures out oh, wait, this is the obstacle and boy, and they do this to avoid ever actually, to distract them from the step that's in front of them that would move them into the life that they want. And what they end up doing is they end up, you know, grabbing a book over here and grabbing a podcast over there and grabbing a course over here and then another course over here and then a seminar over there. And then this over here. And then you know this person over here talking to them and this mentor and then this coach and then this, you know program and until they're like they have so many things that they're doing that are quote unquote, personal development, that they are completely distracted from the step that was right in front of them that would move them into the life that they wanted that would move them towards the goal that they were working towards. And then they're like, Oh, why am I like, I'm working so hard. And I'm doing all these things. And I'm not moving towards the goal and what's going on here. And they're so busy with personal development, but they're not moving towards the actual goal that they set out in front of them. They're like, pseudo working towards it in all these different distractive ways. And they look really busy on the outside. Now, I want to say something here, this is very different than than another issue that I see in personal development. And I've talked about this before, this is very different than upfront, when you're deciding, Okay, listen, enough of the nonsense. I'm taking charge of my life here. And I'm going I'm going to move forward decisively and be empowered in my life and create the life that I want. And then you sit down you're like Okay, so what is what this is the direction I'm going in? What is my goal right now. And then you start you choose like 500 goals. And then it's like you're doing a little bit of this over here and a little bit of that over there. And this over here and this and this and this and this and this and this and this and you're not really making any progress towards anything because you just set so many goals for yourself that you have no time to actually master anything and really develop yourself and the area that would move you towards any sort of gold, you're kind of just like the jack of all trades, this is a very different, different thing going on here, it is still a bit distraction. But that's not what I'm talking about today. What I'm talking about today is someone who is in the middle of working towards a personal development goal. And they hit what I call their discomfort, discomfort tolerance threshold. So in other words, they're like, Okay, I can this uncomfortable I can do, I can do this, I can do this, I can do this. And they keep moving forward. And then they reach this threshold where inevitably, their brains like, Nope, you can't handle any more sorry, this is Danger, danger, danger, and all the sirens are going off. And then they're like, Oh, no. And they either they like freeze, and then they start looking around. And then they try and run towards this goal over here, or run towards that goal over there, you know, like, fight towards this goal over here or fight towards that goal over there, or like people please ever to this goal over here are people pleased to that goal over there, in order to make other people feel like good about them, and the fact that they're personally developing, but they they're, they're doing it to distract themselves from that threshold point that they hit where they're like, I don't know if I can do this. And what I'm here to tell you is that threshold is the goal, that that's the point of the goal is to move you through that threshold, is learning how to exist on the other side of that threshold, being able to increase that, that tolerance of being in some discomfort, and seeing what you're capable of growing through and, and developing forward through. And what I find is that people reach sort of this, like the edge of their story of this is the discomfort that I'm able to handle. And really, they're able to handle a whole lot more, but they have a story about oh, that would be too uncomfortable, that would be too restricted that would be to this that would be to that. And so that they they reach that threshold, and they're like, Yeah, I don't know if I feel like doing this anymore. And so they just like, go buy a book and go buy another podcast, or go hire another coach or go get a mentor or go get someone else who's telling them Oh, no, you don't have to do that you can do this instead. And all in the objective of avoiding going through that threshold, that threshold that's in front of them. That's actually the lesson. That's actually the point of the goal is pulling you through that that limiting belief that this is all you can handle, this is all you're capable of. And what this ends up doing is this halts the movement in the direction that they were going, sometimes it stops it completely. And they just kind of like sit there in the same spot, like reading the same books, or the same information over and over again and listening to 20 Different people telling them the same thing over and over again. And they're just sitting there in the same spot spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and spinning and saying they can't make progress. But really what they're doing is they're just distracting themselves. Or it causes them to just like, like, you know what, that's not my goal anymore. This one over here is my goal. And they just shift directions completely and go towards another goal. And think that somehow this one's going to be easier. And they'll not have to go through that threshold point. Or it just the distraction slows them down from taking steps that tells them Oh, you don't really have to do that you could do this over here for a little while. And just, you know, you don't, that doesn't need to be uncomfortable. It doesn't need to be when really the point is to realize you're capable of more. And so the distraction is about being like Oh, but you don't have to be you don't have to learn that lesson. You don't have to see that you're capable of more Oh, just one over here where it feels better. And it's happier. And it's easier. And it's it's the distraction is about slowing them down from the momentum that they're capable of, and that they actually truly desire to go through to create the life in which they feel truly empowered and capable. But here's what's funny, is that it's kind of ironic, in a way, because here's what inevitably happens when people choose distraction in their personal development with other personal development. So the reason why people do it we've already talked about is because they believe that they're going to avoid that discomfort tolerance threshold, they're like, ooh, that's not that I don't know if I can do that, that feels uncomfortable. Let's just find another way around it, let's see if we can go in another direction and not have to hit that threshold. So they find another goal or they find another personal development, you know, system or whatever that they think is going to take them in a different direction. And just like somehow magically get them around that that that discomfort tolerance threshold. But what's ironic is that it doesn't matter. There are millions of different directions you could choose that are going to distract you from that threshold. But they all inevitably end up leading right back to that threshold. That's the ironic part about it is that so many people think that they're doing this because they're eventually going to they're going to avoid having to go through that gate. But I'm here to tell you, my friend, you're in you're in a circle, okay, and that gate is As the break in the circle that gets you out of that circle into a bigger circle where life is more expansive and bigger, and it is the way out of the circle. And you could go over to this side of the circle and follow that wall and follow that wall. But guess what, it's eventually going to lead you right back to this gate, because it's the only gate out of that circle. Because it's the lesson you are designed to learn. Because it's about your sensitivities. It's about your story about life, your unique experience, and growing through that. So that gate is your gate out of that circle into the bigger circle, there isn't another date. And you can finagle your way around and run along the walls of the circle and you know, convince yourself, Oh, I'm making progress, because look, I'm doing all these personal development things. And yeah, you're you're developing, developing, developing, but you're all staying inside that circle that is keeping you trapped, until you eventually fill up the circle and you realize, okay, I'm still back at this gate. And if I want the life, I want still gotta go through this gate. That's what ends up happening. And so it's kind of ironic that we do it thinking that we're avoiding going through this gate, but every path we choose will eventually lead us back to that same lesson, because that is your entry. That is your investment into that next bigger circle, where life is more expansive, and bigger and more as possible for you is through that gate, it is the gate that you go through to see that, and there isn't another one for you. You know, you can you can try 5000 different ways. But they're all gonna lead you back to that same discomfort tolerance threshold, in that one area of your life where you're like, No, I can't do that. And life's gonna lead you right back there and be like, are you ready to take the step now, because you filled up the circle, you've you've run around in this circle, you keep running, and you can keep doing this for the rest of your life. You can keep running around in the circle and convincing yourself that this is all that's possible for you. And just saying, Oh, poor me, look, I'm stuck in this circle. But there's a gate right here. This is your gate out. So you know, no matter how many different strategies you try, no matter how many different stories you tell yourself, no matter how many systems you buy, they're all going to lead you back to this gate right here. Because this is your gate out of the circle. Are you ready to step out of it? Now? Are you ready to step through this tolerance threshold and learn that you're capable of more. So that's the ironic part about this distraction is that it's it is distraction. So it does hold our movements, stop removing our changes. But it also eventually leads us right back to the same point, that same friction point that we think that we're avoiding. So my friends, this is what I'm talking about. When I when I talk about distraction personal development is it's basically personal development that keeps you running around in circles in the same circle that you're in, that you want out of. And busying yourself with what looks like work with what looks like development, when really what you're just doing is running around inside of the circle, and grabbing everything that's there, that you already know, that feels comfortable enough for you and just being like, oh, maybe eventually one of these things will just like launch me into the other circle without me having to go through that gate right there. This is distraction, personal development. So here are two big signs to know if you are in distraction personal development is number one, you will notice that you are doing a lot of different things in your personal development. But when you look around at other people doing those things, they're like taking it and going places with it. I mean, like they're like, life is expanding with them. And they're like doing crazy, insane things with a with these, these systems, these coaches, these, you know, things that you've invested in, and you're like, Wow, I'm doing all these things, and why am I not seeing those results, I'm not seeing all these benefits from these things. My friends, this is a huge sign that what you're doing is you're grabbing on to every little personal development thing you can find to distract you, from the gate that you're designed to go through that will launch you into that next big circle, that you're seeing everybody else being like, you know what, I'm going through the gate, and they're going through the gate with with what it is. So if you if you look around and you see you're doing you're so busy with personal development work, but you feel like you don't see yourself getting the same benefits that other people are getting out of the personal development work that you're doing. It's a huge sign that you are in distraction, personal development. Now, that doesn't mean also that it could just be that you're doing one personal development thing and you're just you're just like, slowing it down and trying to avoid this. It might not look like doing a lot of different personal development things and might actually look like you're doing one personal development thing and you're just kind of dragging your feet and you're kind of like I don't know, if I want to do that thing right there, and you're like, just go over here and have this coffee and sit and think about it. And, you know, I'll just, I'll see if this is this is really what I want to do and, and you just, you don't really do anything else personal development wise. And but you, you just you, you're distracting yourself from stepping to the gate. Okay, so this is sign number one, though, is that you're doing a lot of different things. You've got like 20, different personal development books, you're a member of like, I don't know, 10, different coaching communities, whatever, or even just two, and you're doing all these things, and doing all these things, and you see everyone else around you having these amazing results. And you're like, where am I benefits, it's a probably a big sign that what you're doing is you're doing a lot of different personal development, quote unquote, things. But those things are distractions from the thing, that is the gate, that's going to pull you into that next expansive circle of life. Number two, the number two sign is that you feel overwhelmed with how much you quote unquote have to do or need to do or should be doing in your personal development. But you don't feel like you're moving any closer to the life you actually want. So this is another another big sign is that you're like, Oh, my God, I've got to do this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and this, and all these different things. And you're like, oh, I don't know how I'm gonna find time to do it all and blable. Now, this is very different from this is very different from feeling like the work is difficult, and the progress isn't fast enough. That's a totally different story. Or being like, Oh, this work is uncomfortable. It feels like a lot right now, that is a completely different story. What I am saying is, you are literally looking and you're like who I am awake, and I'm losing sleep, and I'm going to this group and running to this group and running to this call, and then doing this thing, and I'm doing this thing, and like literally my whole entire day is spent doing quote unquote, personal development things. But I have not seen any progress towards my goal. And I feel completely overwhelmed that like, I've got to take out another thing. Like this is a huge sign that your personal development is distraction, personal development, it is you avoiding really the one or the two major tasks that you need to focus in on that would get you to that next level in your life. And you're doing it by just adding on more and more and more things. You're like, oh, yeah, that'll help. Well, yeah, that'll help. Well, yeah. But really, what it is, is it just kind of looks a little bit easier than learning the lesson that you're actually needing to learn at the time. So the question is, what do you do then if you find yourself doing this? What do you do when you find yourself in distraction, personal development. So what I say is, first of all, pause, stop, stop, like do not continue going to the meetings, do not continue listening to the 5 million different podcasts, reading all the books, it is time for you to if you have a coach, get with your coach, and be like, Listen, I'm doing all of these things. And I feel like I'm very unclear on what the purpose is here. What is what is the core value? What are the core values here? And what is the purpose, go back to that. Stop with all of the acting out here and doing all the things out here in the world around you, that are called personal development, pause all of that. It's time to turn inward, it's time to go back to and get very clear on your authentic core values. And then from there, your vision authentic vision of purpose for your life. And then working backwards to where you are to set authentic goals that move you towards that purpose. That is step one is getting clear there before you decide on anything which personal development things to cut, which ones to keep which ones to prioritize, and which ones to deprioritize before you do any of that it's time to pause the external work. I'm not saying give up or quit. I'm saying pause button, pause button, look inward. We've got to we've got to pull the team back together and figure out who do we who do we have here again, who's playing on our team again? What are their skills? What are their value? What can they do? Get the team back together? And what I mean by that is clear vision of core values, clear vision of purpose for your life, and what goals you see as being the ones that will direct you towards that vision of purpose in your life. If you move towards them, okay. Then it is time to get clear on the prioritized actions that your priority how you want to prioritize the actions that are going to move you towards that goal. What things do you Doing your life? How do we prioritize so it's time to prioritize time, time spent focus energy, what is important, prioritize, make a list, make a Venn diagram make, you know, I just spent a couple of days ago, I spent a five hour intensive day with one of my clients, I offer these Intensive Days to my clients, where we literally sat down and broke down every little element of their life that they are doing right now. Every little element, we put them in categories, and we, we put all the different little actions in, and then we put them in a list of non negotiables, high priority, middle priority, low priority chopping block priority, like literally meaning, if something gets messed up, this is the first thing to go, it's not even a question that can go it's such a low priority, I don't even have to think about it gone get then you know, then if that doesn't solve for creating enough space and time, then we look at the low priority than the middle priority than the high priority. And then if we're all the way up to the non negotiables, we have to know in the non negotiables which ones how do we how do we prioritize those, you know, if we, if we get down to saying okay, you know, illness? And and what is the word I'm looking for here? Timeliness, if these are non negotiables for you, okay, well what happens when, when we've we've looked at everything else. And the only things left are to choose between, okay, you're sick, you have a 42 degree Celsius fever or 104 degree Fahrenheit fever, and you're late for a meeting, which one gets priority here, these are both non negotiables for you, which one, and really getting clear on how we make decisions. So we can kind of take that mental drama out of the brain and feeling so overwhelmed. Like I don't know how to make a decision here. How do I and then later on regretting, and we have it all prioritize? We already have it listed out and we're like, Okay, this is this is the priority over that according to this list. So it's really not that I don't need to negotiate anymore that says no, this says this, I say yes to and then we do it, we just do it, it's going to feel difficult, it's going to feel messy, but it's already been decided. So we don't have that extra added energy going into the mental chatter and drama of renegotiating and every moment in every situation. Which one do I prioritize? No, it's already, we had it all nice and listed out and Okay, so that's what you want, you want to get this, your priorities straight here and clear, and how these align with your values, and your vision of purpose. Having all of that aligned, okay, once all of that is aligned, then what we want to look at is a cost to benefit analysis, which we talked about last week in the podcast, being able to then clearly see, alright, so these are the priorities. Now, if I prioritize these things over these things, what is my cost here? What things? Am I saying no, to say yes to this? What things am I you know, going to be paying with my time, my emotion, maybe even my finances right now, in order to prioritize these things? And where will I be taking that away from in other areas of my life? Because these are the priority? So and really being able to see, okay, what benefit? Do I get out of prioritizing this? Is it worth it to me? And really just being real with yourself? If it's not worth it to you? Okay, then what cost? Are you willing to pay there? What what are you willing to invest in and pay here in order to prioritize that over this or, you know, really getting clear on that cost benefit ratio that we talked about last week, I would go back and listen to that podcast episode, if you don't know what I'm talking about. So then, from there, it's about just being willing to follow through on your decision about what you want. That's all it is. There's no more of this, you know, uncertainty and regret and distracted behavior. It's very simple. It's all laid out in front of you. And you can clearly see, okay, so this is the goal. This is why it's the goal. These are the things that I will do to make the goal possible. These are the prices that I will pay in order to make those actions possible. And these are the benefits that I get out of paying that price now during this chapter of my life, and being willing to say this is my decision, because this is what I want. And not sit around waiting to be influenced by other people or even the personal development industry to tell you what it is that you should want and how you should be doing it. This is this is how we move out of that distraction personal development. And when you're at that place where you where you catch yourself kind of like waiting around for the person whole development industry to throw something at you that's like, Oh, this is what you need in order to develop, then my friends, what you're doing is looking for distraction, you are in that space of looking for distraction from what is the lesson that is in front of you the gate that is in front of you that saying, hey, step through here, this brings you to the next level. And then you start taking the actions, you start paying the investments up front, you start feeling the big feelings that come along with you doing this. And here's the thing along the way, because you're going to be in the personal development space, you're going to be hearing all about all of the other goals that other people are working towards all of the other personal development, tools, strategies, systems, and goals. And some of them are going to sound so appealing to you in the moment, this is the last thing I want you to do is make a for later list. Okay? And here's why this list is important. Because if you can make this list, then there's no more chatter in the brain about oh, you're gonna forget about this. And this is important, you're never going to do it if you don't. So you write it down on the for later list, you're not giving up on it, you're not saying you're not going to do it, you're saying right now, I've already made a decision of what this chapter is focused on. And I'm working towards this goal. And this right here is the sounds cool, it's a for later list, the responsibility of accomplishing this goes to a later chapter, okay? And then you release the responsibility of it to a later chapter, it's written down, you're not going to forget it, it's on your for later list. Make that list my friends, because it is going to happen, you're going to be in the middle of working towards a goal, and someone's going to tell you, Oh, yeah, and then I did this, and then I did that. And you're, you're going to feel inspired by it in the moment. And you're gonna be like, Oh, my God, but I want to do that, oh, but I don't have time to. And then oh, but I've got to add it to the list. And I've got to do it right now. And then and then next thing, you know, you're adding it to your, you're throwing it in the mix, and then you're distracted again, and you're you're not making the progress, you're slowing down, you're overwhelmed, you're back in that distraction, personal development. So put it on the for later list. But here's what's so interesting about this list is I've been doing this. And what I find is that oftentimes, once I've completed a goal, I've accomplished a goal. And then I pull out my for later list. And I look at what I think my next goal is, and I look at the for later list. And I'm like, is there something on here that, you know, actually now that I know that that this is this is something that's possible, that actually aligns better with my vision of purpose, my authentic values, and what my next step forward will be to create that and make that happen, not because it feels easier, but because it's actually it's going to maybe I don't know, challenge me even more or create even more growth in my life than what I had originally thought was possible for me. And therefore the goal that I set for myself, sometimes you will look at this list and be like, actually, yeah, that's, that's the next goal. That is the next goal. Because you have a clear vision of your purpose. At that point in time you have a clear vision of your values and how to live them out loud. Sometimes this for later lists will show you those things. But here's what I find really interesting is that when I look at my for later list, after you know, I've written it down, and I've released the responsibility of it, it is out of my brain, I'm not thinking about it anymore, because it's like, you know that that's a responsibility for another chapter right now, full focus on this. And then I look at the list, and I can see how many times my brain was looking for distraction. Because I look at the for later listening. Like, I don't actually want that. Why did I write that down? Like that's not, that's not something I actually authentically want from my life. That's not, that's not going to pull me towards my authentic vision of purpose. And I can literally look at the list and see the number of times that my brain was like distraction, please. Distraction, please. Distraction, please. And it's really interesting. I every time I accomplished a goal and I go back to this for later list how many of them I'm like erasing from the list. I'm like, Okay, that was that was just all about distraction. And why this is so interesting to see is because I can literally watch how my brain is looking for distraction, I can remember kind of like when this thing came in to my peripheral vision and wanted to take the front vision and distract me from the thing that I wanted to use it to distract me from the thing in front of me. I can kind of see where it came in and and see what I was doing at that time. Like, ah, that was very uncomfortable for me. I was looking for distraction there. I was looking for a way out. I was looking for a way to avoid doing that work there. And I can literally see my brain at work being a brain in my own personal development and seeking out distraction. So do the for later list. I'm telling you, it's going to help you in two different ways. Number one, it's going to To release the responsibility of trying to remember these things and be like, Oh, I'm never going to get to it, if I don't do it now. And so then you start doing it. And then it distracts you from the thing you were working on. And so then you just end up, adding on and adding on and adding on. And then you find yourself just spinning in the same circle doing a bunch of personal development, things that aren't actually ever developing you. So that's number one reason why you want to do this list is because you can sort of release the responsibility of it, too. It's on the list. As soon as I'm done with this goal, we're going to look at the list and we're going to we're going to decide on the next goal. What is the next goal is it is it what I had originally decided, or at this point in time is a bit different, because I'm a little bit clearer on where I'm going. It's kind of like how they tell you to journal at night time, your worries, so that it's written down. And you don't have this brain chatter going on when you're trying to sleep, where it's like, oh, you can forget this. Don't forget this. You're like, it's on the list. And you can kind of get your brain to be like, okay, they're not gonna forget, it's on the list, we've got it, it's under control. And your brain can kind of chillax that part and be like, okay, they're not, they're not, they're not responding to this, it's not urgent, it's not, you know, there's no fear surrounding this, it's written down, we will get to it later. So that's number one reason to it. Number two reason to make this for later list is because it's so helpful to look back at the for later list once you've accomplished a goal. And then to see where your brain was looking for distraction. And why this is helpful is because in the next chapter of your life, your brain is going to try the same BS, okay? And you can be a little bit more prepared for it. When I get to these kinds of points, my brain is going to look for distraction, I'm going to look for distraction, and you can kind of be prepared, and you can then you can kind of watch it happening in real time. Like you'll hear someone say something like, Oh my God, I want to do that's there it is, again, I'm trying to distract myself. There's I'm looking for a distraction right now, because I'm uncomfortable. Try it out my friends, this process of identifying that you are in distraction, personal development. In other words, you're using personal development to distract you from the actual personal development. And then doing something about it. It's a game changer. And then making this for later list. It is a game changer for your personal development. It will allow for your personal development to have a much clearer direction, and much cleaner momentum. And, and less of this, so much energy being spent on brain drama, and less of this, looking back and realizing that you've spent the last two years literally just running around in a circle, avoiding the gate that you inevitably ended up having to go through anyways. Okay, try it out my friends, give it a shot. Let me know how this process works out for you. I'm seeing it creating amazing results in my own life and in my clients lives. So try it out. Hit me up, let me know how that process works for you. I love you all. That's all I've got for you today. So until we meet again here next week. Ciao. Thank you for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed the content of this podcast. If you did, please subscribe so that you're one of the first people to know when I release a new episode each week. If you have any questions or if you have interest in learning more about the coaching that I do with my clients one on one, then just head over to my website at WWW dot life coach seth.com that's www dot life coach seth.com there you're going to have the ability to reach out to me for questions that you might have or to book your free discovery call with me to discuss what one on one coaching with me might be like for you. You can also check out and order your copy of my book to get a taste of what I'm all about as a person and as a coach. I'm so happy that you joined us today and I hope to have you here again next week. So until then, let authenticity be the guide to your most unstoppable and fulfilling journey of life.