Asking For Access (To The Resources You Need)

We all want to build the life we dream of. To do it, we will need access to resources that we do not yet have. The question is, do you know who to ask for access? Are you asking? Do you even know how to ask, if the opportunity presented itself? In this episode, I want to talk with you all about 2 big areas where I see people falling behind, in creating the life they want to life. Hint: it has to do with asking for access to those resources. So, listen up, and find out what you need to be doing, to be ready to ask for those resources, when the time comes. 

Enjoy!!!!

Transcript

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You are listening to the authentic life connection Podcast, episode number 167. Welcome to the authentic life connection podcast. I'm your host, Seth Lusk. I'm a master certified life coach, author, personal trainer and nutrition specialist. For over a decade, I've been helping people with their dreams and goals for their life and health. I spent many years watching people get frustrated with their journey in life and giving up on taking actions towards their goals. So I dug in deep to find answers to why so many of us face this same frustration and struggle in life. So in this podcast, we're gonna dive in deep on topics surrounding what it means to consistently live a fulfilling and authentic life, where you are unstoppable and taking action towards your dreams and goals. So the only question is, are you ready to start living your most authentic and fulfilling life once and for all? Then let's get started. Shall we? Hey, everyone, welcome back to the podcast. For those of you listening in for the first time, welcome, welcome, you picked a great episode to join in on as usual, because they're all great. They're all great. And we're on episode number 167. Today, sometimes I really have to look back and think, wow, I've I've done 167 episodes I really have built today makes 167. And here I am sitting down recording this episode for you guys. And I want to talk with you all about something that it's not something new that I've seen people struggling with. But I sort of found a way to communicate it to people to kind of I guess, make it make more sense why they're getting the result that they're getting. And so I wanted to share it with you all here on the podcast. And I did a post on social media relating to this. So some of y'all may have already kind of seen a brief version of this. It's this idea of knocking on doors. And what I see a lot of people struggling with in their personal development in their growth and creating the life that they want is this idea of knocking on doors. So let me tell you what I mean. Any time we are trying to develop our lives, develop ourselves and grow in areas. While I would say the major work that needs to be done is something that we have to do with ourselves. It's not something that we can do with other people or that even has to do with other people. But inevitably, there comes a time in the journey when we are going to be looking to people outside of us to give us access to certain resources that we may want. Whether that be access to a job, meaning someone who has the ability to hire us for a job, or whether that be asking people to pay for our product, you know, say hey, listen, I have this product, let me in and allow me to have access to your money so that I can give you this product provide you this value, or for services, whether that resource be someone giving you access to an audience that they have access to, but you don't yet inevitably in our journey, we are going to be looking to people to say, Hey, I see you have this resource here, I have this to provide you, if you give me access to that. And this is where I see a big breakdown occurring and a lot of people's journeys to quote unquote, success going after their goals, achieving the life that they want to create for themselves. It's this idea of knocking on people's doors and saying, Hey, let me in, give me access. It's like they live, there are people that live in the realm of the resources that we will want access to. That's their home, you know, that's where they reside, that's where they have dominion, that is their, you know, sort of resource home or what their their their life is built within that realm that they have access to these things that we don't yet have access to. And so it's this idea of going around and knocking on doors and saying, Hey, listen, here's what I've got to offer, will you let me in to have access to this that you have to offer? And this is where I see a huge breakdown happening for a lot of people. And there are two reasons why I don't want to talk about those with you all today. Because I feel like most of us don't understand that this is even happening or what's happening. And we're just like, looking around wondering well, why women are growing, why Medicaid employment are having success in achieving my goals. The number one thing that I see happening is there are so many of you all out there that aren't even knocking on doors. You're just like sitting around knowing what you can provide knowing what value you could provide. And you're just hoping that someone sees it and will just be like oh who, you know, I was just randomly I opened my door, and was just like hoping someone was standing on my front porch with these resources, and would just, I could just let them into my home and let them have access to it. And they're not knocking on doors, but they're waiting for people to open their doors for them. And I want you all to kind of understand how illogical this kind of this is, you wouldn't, okay? Imagine that you are at home, do you randomly open your front door, and just leave it open and hope that people walk in, that are going to provide you with things that you want, know, you don't you open the front door, when someone knocks on it, or rings the doorbell, you don't open the front door, and just sit in your living room be like, Oh, someone's gonna eventually walk in with things that I need. And I will give them access to my home because they have those things that don't know, you leave the door closed, and you and if someone does walk in, without permission from you, you call the police. So I feel like so many people don't understand that they're sitting around, waiting for someone to see them and see what they have to offer, and hoping that they'll just open the door for them. But they're not asking to have the door opened. So this is the first problem that I see is, you guys, you have to get out there and knock on doors, you have to get out there and find the people that have access to the resources you are looking for, to grow in the areas you want to grow, whether that's access to money, whether that's access to people with money, whether that's access to people that have interest in the service, or the product that you're providing, whether that's an audience that have an interest in reading the material that you're putting out, or hearing the things that you want to speak about, whether that's you know, someone offering you a job, and they have access to that job, and they're looking to, you have to get out there and find the people that have access to the resources that you are looking for access for. And you have to knock on the doors. And you have to keep knocking my friends. This is the it's the it's the not knocking at all that first of all blows my mind, like people aren't just going to open up their door and hope that there's someone standing on the front porch, you have to knock and let them know you're there. And second, it's I see so many of you out there, you knock on one or two doors. And the people say sorry, not interested in closed the door in your face. And then you just stop knocking. You just stop knocking. If you're not knocking, no one knows that you're looking to be let in. You have to keep knocking my friends. I don't know. I don't know if you all think that everyone who's had success just knocked on a couple of doors. And they were let in. That's not how it works. I think there are so look at Oprah Winfrey, for instance, how many times she was turned down for being a TV personality, people thought that she wouldn't have anything to offer that she wouldn't be entertaining, nobody would want to watch. And now look at her. She didn't stop knocking on doors, my friends, you have to keep knocking on doors, you might get 1000 nose, but you've got to keep knocking on the doors, if you want the Yes. And you have to realize that sometimes when when you knock on the door, and people say no, it isn't about you. It is about they are telling you that they are not looking for that. That is something that they recognize as being desirable. Okay. So in this moment, you have two choices. You can either keep knocking on doors, and say okay, that is obviously not the person that is going to give me access to this resource. Maybe someone else will maybe someone else will see value in what I have to offer. So I will keep knocking. And here's the second downfall that I see happening here is that the other option is sometimes we knock on doors, and people open the door and we're standing there with our pants down. Some of you all out there, you just think you've got this half baked idea in your head of something that you want to offer and you go start knocking on doors, and people tell you no. And you keep knocking, knocking, knocking, and you're wondering why everyone's telling you no, but the truth is, when they open the door, you're not even really clear on who it is that you are, what value you provide, and why they would be interested in it. Why should they let you in their home. And this is the second part that I feel like I see people struggling with is either they're just not knocking on doors because they got turned down once or twice. And so they just gave up or they're just, they're one of these people that they work on themselves work on themselves work on themselves work on themselves, and they just sit back and hope someone's gonna see them. Well, you've got to ask them to open the door and see you but then the Second thing that I see happening is I see so many of you all out there that are, you're ready for someone to give you resources. But you don't even know what it is that you provide that's valuable and why it's valuable. And you keep going around to people, and saying that you deserve access to resources, but you don't know how to communicate to them, who you are, what is valuable about what you can provide to the world that is interesting for them, and why they should allow you in, so you can provide the value for them that they want, so that they can give you access to those resources. And the reason why so many of you all are not prepared for this, is because you're so afraid of spending time with yourself bored and alone, to figure out, who am I what do I want in this life? What do I provide, what do I bring to the table that is unique and authentic for me, that I can provide these people with. So they will give me access to this resource. We have these two breakdowns here, either people are not knocking on doors, and therefore they don't get access, because people don't even know that they want access and what they want access to, or when they do knock on doors, they're not prepared. So I wanted to give you all a little bit of insight here to help you along in this journey help you to get some momentum back in this journey of getting out there and knocking on doors. So first of all, and know when you knock on a door and someone opens the door and closes it in your face does not let you and then I want you to first of all recognize that they are not saying no to you, they are saying no to the fact that they don't see value in what it is that you offered yet. And the reason why they didn't see value could be any number of things, that doesn't necessarily mean that what you are offering isn't valuable, it's in the way that you presented it. So number one, when someone gives you a no giving up, isn't it, when you give up, then you are ensuring that you will never have access to that resource. You've got to keep knocking on doors, my friends, you've got to look past the no as being something about something being wrong with you, or what you have to offer and see it as Okay, so this person didn't see the value in it. And here's where you have some options, this person didn't see the value in it. So we can get to work there. If they didn't see the value in it. We can do a couple of different things here. Number one, we can look at, am I ready to communicate the value to this? When I think about the value of this? Do I clearly see what is valuable? Do I believe in the value of this? For a lot of you that answer is no. And that's the problem. If you don't see the value in it, you're not going to learn how to communicate the value of that to people. If you're getting out there with the sheepish little shy. I have this thing to offer. But I don't really know if it's valuable, but will you hear me out. And of course, there's no one's gonna see value in that you've got to believe in the value of what it is that you provide first and foremost, which means that you've got to get clear on who you are, what you authentically want, what you want to contribute. And what you want in return for that. This is where I see the biggest breakdown happening is so many of you all are not even clear on what it is that you're after. what it is you're trying to create, what it is that you're trying to contribute, to even know which doors to knock on, to get access to the resources that you need, and how to even pitch it to people when they do open the door. So you've got to spend the time getting clear on that first, my friends, and knowing your value, not questioning it. If every time someone close a door closes the door in your face, you begin to question your value, you are going to spend so much time sitting around licking your wounds and feeling sorry for yourself, instead of getting back out there and knocking on doors again. And knocking on doors is where you're going to get results. So you've got to get back out there and knock on doors. But to do that, first of all, you've got to have a clear picture in your head. What I have to offer is valuable and why so that when you get a no it doesn't go to Oh, we've got to go back to the drug where we don't have something valuable to offer. We're screwed. We're broken, we're not valuable. You go to Okay, let's break down what didn't work here. And this is where you have a lot of room to make changes to develop and took ROH and get back out there and knock on doors, my friends. This is I see, so many people do this as a coach, I have people that they pitch me through instant messages through emails, cuz I get hundreds of emails and instant messages on Instagram, on Facebook, on LinkedIn, in my email, these people that have these services, these services, where I am a coach who helps coaches and to make 10,000 a month and blah, blah, blah, and I am a virtual assistant, and I help people set appointments and bla bla bla bla bla, and they just, they don't even they don't even know if I'm interested, first of all, which is really annoying, they don't, they automatically assume that I need a service. This is the number one way to get doors closed in your face by friends, is, first of all, not knowing who your audience is, whose door to knock on. I have people pitching me for things that I'm like, What on Earth makes you think that I even need help with that? Did I ask for help with that? Did I post anything on social media that made you think this is something I'm looking for help with, because it's clearly you're just like sending out these messages to random people. That's what it feels like. And that is the surest way to get doors closed in your face. Know who your product is for, know whose resources you want access to, and how you can provide them specifically with value. If they open the doors for access to that resource. You have to know what these people want, what they're looking for what they see value in. Okay, so that's, that's number one. Number two, where I see the breakdown happening here is these people, they literally just throw out, it's like verbal vomit. Like, they'll say, Hi, how are you doing? I say hi, doing great. And then I get a 5000 word long essay on everything that it's like, I don't know, by the time I get to read it. I don't even know what I what I read. And I'm definitely not interested. I'm like, listen, that's I don't have time for this, break your pitches down. When you go to talk to someone, when you knock on the door, your best way to know why you're getting in dough is to not verbally vomit, everything that you have. You remember when you were in college, sorry, I'm digressing here. Remember, when you were in college, and you got up in front of the classroom to do your first presentation, and you just spoke at the speed of sound? Because you were so nervous that you were just like, and then a little a little a little a little a little a little and then by the time you're done, everyone's looking at you like what, what, what just what just happened? What did they say? Slow down my friends, you've got to slow down and break up your pitch to these people, when they open the door for you. You've got to slow down and do a pitch that allows for feedback as you're pitching. And what I mean by that is, don't just throw everything that you have to offer in the person space and then say is that interesting to you understand that even if what you have to offer to the person might be interesting for them, you if you overwhelm them with so much information that they don't even have time to think they're going to reject and not even know why they're rejecting. And you're not going to know why they're rejecting. Because they're just gonna be like, I don't even know how to process all of that. So the answer is just know by when you knock on a door, speak with a person and small bits of information, get ask questions, get feedback, as you go. Maybe say who you are. Maybe say, maybe ask a question. First. You know, this is this is a great way to start a conversation. I see that you do XYZ blah, blah, blah, blah, blah. Is this something that you struggle with? Is this something that you are having an issue with? Get feedback? Because they might say no. So then you know, okay, well, the problem here is not that what I have to offer is invaluable. It's that they're not struggling with this. So why in the world would that be valuable to them. So break down your pitch to people when someone opens the door for you to have access to a resource that you're looking for? When you're speaking to them about the value that you provide, and why they should let you in the door. Break it down for them and ask for feedback as you go. So you know where the breakdown happens if you're going to get a no, you don't think oh shit, what it is that I just said to them isn't valuable. And then you go, you throw the baby out with the bathwater and you start over from zero. I think I did an episode on this not too long ago where I told you guys the number one indicator of success and people that go after a goal is the amount of time that they spend between getting an unintended result. And when they show back up with a new plan to take action to get the result that they want. And the way that we reduce that amount of time between getting the unintended result, in this case, getting the No. And showing backup for for future action, is how much of the plan how much of the pitch, how much of the what it is that they're offering, what it is that they're going after? Do they throw out and start back over from scratch? If every time you get a no, you don't understand where the know was, was broken down? What why you're getting the know, then, and you automatically assume I've got to start over from zero now. Because what I have to offer is not valuable, you're going to spend a lot of time going back to the drawing board would really what it could have been is maybe you needed to pitch something a little bit differently. Maybe you needed to say it in a different way. Maybe they didn't understand clearly what it was that you offered. So you can see where did I actually get the note? Maybe it was a partial Yes. But then something about it was like, No, that you lost me there. Can you figure out this is the beauty of pitching yourself to people, my friends is when you break it down, and you ask for feedback as you go. And I'm not saying like literally asking, Hey, can you give me feedback here? pitch yourself in a way where they have time to respond. Asking questions as you go. Is this interesting for you? How do you feel about this? How does this sound for you? When I say this right here, what comes to mind, getting feedback as you go is going to be your best bet. So that when you get to know, you know clearly where the know is targeted, Where were your communication of what what you have, that is valuable to offer broke down for them, so that you can understand it's not me, it's not that what I have to offer isn't valuable. It's that either A, this isn't something they're struggling with, or B, they didn't hear clearly what it was. So I need to find a different way to communicate this right here. Because this isn't speaking to people that have access to this resource to allow me in. This is how you are going to eventually learn to not take the time not take notes personally, not take it as I am not valuable, what I have to offer is not valuable, and get back out there and pitch again. So my advice to you, my friends, you've got to get out there and you've got to knock on doors, nobody is going to open a door for you. If you're not knocking on doors, when you get to know that doesn't mean stop knocking on doors. But it might mean that your pitch needs adjusted. So get out there and knock on doors number one, number two, just because you got to know doesn't mean stop knocking on doors. But number three, if you keep getting nose, there's a good chance that it has something to do with how you're pitching it, people aren't hearing the value in it, that doesn't mean it is not valuable. Break your pitch down in a way where you get feedback as you go. So when you get the no you know exactly where it broke down, so that when you go back to the drawing board, you're taking out that one piece of the pitch and replacing it versus revamping the entire pitch and having to start over from scratch every time and wasting so much time. So much time replacing parts to a pitch that actually worked. So here's what I want for you all to begin looking at. are you knocking on doors? Are you out there asking the people that have access to resources that you want and need to create the life you want? Are you actively asking? Because if you're not, they're not going to open the doors for you get out there and ask are you asking and taking it personally when they give you a no and stopping asking? Because you've got to get back out there and ask again. You've got to get back out there and ask again, no one is going to open the doors for you if you stop asking when you can and no. And then number three. Do you know why you got the No, because it isn't because what you have to offer is invaluable. It's probably in how you are communicating it. Are you asking for feedback as you go in your offer so that you know where the breakdown occurred. And then seeing the value in what you offer my friends, knock on doors, ask for feedback, change your pitch, get back out there. That's what I have to offer fuel today. If you are not seeing progress in your life, if you are not seeing the growth that you want, if you are not gaining access to the resources you want to build the life that you want that I want to ask you, where is your breakdown occurring in this process that we just talked about today? Is it you knocking on doors? Is it you stopping knocking on doors when you get into though, is it that you're spending way too much time? Going back and revamping your entire pitch when really only one part needs adjusted? And are you asking for feedback, as you pitch, as you pitch yourself as you knock on the doors, are you giving people the chance to really communicate back to you, where they lost you and seeing the value of what it is that you have to offer, so that you can see, okay, so it's not that what I have isn't valuable, it's that I didn't communicate it here. Or maybe this isn't audience for me. So where what other doors can I knock on that have access to this resource for me, that I want, that might see value in this, you have so many options here, my friends. But first of all, first of all, where I see the biggest breakdown occurring is that so many of you all aren't knocking on doors, or when you are knocking on doors or standing there with your pants down, because you haven't taken the time to really get to know who you are, and see how what you have to offer is valuable and why and how you're going to use it to contribute to the world to gain access to the resources that you want. You don't even see the life you want to know what resources you want access to. And you don't see what value you provide, what authentic contributions and values you have, that allow you to create and contribute something to the world that is authentic for you, you have to have a clear vision of that my friends. And so many of y'all are rushing past that trying to get to the sexy results out there of the money of the job of the title of the car of the house, that you're rushing past the most valuable, valuable producing part of creating your pitch. And that's getting to know first of all, even what you want out of this life, and what it is that you can uniquely offer in it and contribute to the world that is valuable. You have the responsibility of getting to know that. And then believing in the fact that that is valuable. And you can uniquely offer it. And get out there and pitch it my friends, get out there, knock on doors, and keep knocking, keep asking for access. People aren't just going to open their doors and sit in their living room and hope that someone walks in, you've got a knock on the door, let them know you're there. Let them know what value you provide them. That is the reason why they need to let you in to have access to the resources that they have access to. I love you all. That's all I've got for you all today. Get out there, knock on doors, but first, take the time to know who you are, and what value you provide. And believe in that value. If you don't believe in it, nobody else well. I love you all. I'll see you again here next week. And until then, knock on some doors. Ciao. Thank you for joining us today. I hope you enjoyed the content of this podcast. If you did, please subscribe so that you're one of the first people to know when I release a new episode each week. If you have any questions or if you have interest in learning more about the coaching that I do with my clients one on one, then just head over to my website at WWW dot life coach seth.com that's www dot life coach seth.com there you're gonna have the ability to reach out to me for questions that you might have or to book your free discovery call with me to discuss what one on one coaching with me might be like for you. You can also check out an order your copy of my book to get a taste of what I'm all about as a person and as a coach. I'm so happy that you joined us today and I hope to have you here again next week. So until then, let authenticity be the guide to your most unstoppable and fulfilling journey of life.