All right, all right, all right. Welcome everybody to the Listener Don't Podcast. I am Jill Daler and we've got our fabulous as always co-host, shakira, here as well. We've decided to change a few things up, so we're going to play with this a little bit and get rid of that beginning intro that you usually hear, and get rid of the out, and let's just play and see what happens. So, kyra, how are you feeling about this so far?
Speaker 2Well, besides the fact that I just choked, great Choked, and I'm going to choke down the rest of this chocolate babka bread.
Speaker 1Ooh, where'd you get the babka bread?
Speaker 2Bread and Company in New York.
Speaker 1Oh, that's right. Did you have this delivered?
Speaker 2I sure did. I sure did. Good for you, good for you. Yeah, god gave a couple of those to the family and saved one for myself. So, yay, yeah, so good. I don't know why what they? It's crack. That's why it's crack. It's absolutely delicious crack and I love it and I love drugs.
Speaker 1So I mean there's some. Uh yeah, there's validity in that I think we all in some form love, some form of drug yeah, that makes sense.
Speaker 2Yeah, what's your drug?
Speaker 1oh well, um, I would say, television is one yeah, you do like a show I do like a show. I was actually thinking about that, so I'll circle back to that. Another drug would be I enjoy. I enjoy shopping for things for my home.
Speaker 2Oh, I guess.
Speaker 1Yeah, that's a drug, I guess. Mm-hmm I know what else do I enjoy?
Speaker 2You used to love shopping for yourself.
Speaker 1No, we've had this conversation before and it's continued. I've been uninspired again, still, still, I'm not finding anything that I'm liking. I'm not finding a shop that I enjoy. Yeah, I watch a bunch of uh different you know people on Instagram with all of their finds and their shopping things and it's all like just this Amazon stuff and I'm not interested in $20 fast fashion um and.
Speaker 1I'm also not willing to, you know, buy something and then have to keep returning it over and over and over again because the product is junk which has been my experience most of the time with things that I've purchased off of amazon yeah um, so I just, I mean, I find inspiration in what they're doing, but then, like I go out and try to find it and I'm like well, no, this isn't fucking it interesting yeah, I used to, but I feel like I've I've been playing around with that lately. I haven't been really inspired and going into my favorite stores are no longer my favorite stores. Yeah, because they're just trash ones exactly.
Speaker 2Yeah, no, I haven't um. I know the stores we used to shop at. You know, used to love a nordstrom's rack, yeah, um but now it's worse than a garage sale.
Speaker 2Exactly, exactly, don't love it anymore. Even regular Nordstrom's, I'll go in and check out the shoes. I rarely, and I can't remember the last time I've ever bought a pair of shoes from Nordstrom's, like the Nordstrom shoe department. Sure, sure and try and yeah, even like the the clothing. I'm just not inspired. I think I'm finding most of my inspiration similarly online, um Instagram or Tik TOK. I'm really in my uh, hmm, ooh, or street fashion, um like blogs or vlogs or pages, you know like that'll pop up. New York street fashion always has me by the vagina.
Speaker 1Well there you go Well, I think that. That was the thing that I enjoyed about always of New York is just walking, watching people walk by. I mean just like anything goes, everything goes and it all works and it's all perfect.
Speaker 2Yeah, it's, there's so much freedom.
Speaker 1Yeah, and I always feel that when I go to Chicago as well.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, yeah, I haven't been. I mean, honestly, after coming back from New York and then coming to Chicago, one of the things I felt was the restriction that I don't feel in New York relative to what I'm wearing, and so it's been like I have had to have this very active effort to put on something that maybe even makes me a little uncomfortable, you know like not so uncomfortable where I would don't want to leave my house.
Speaker 2But you know it takes me to get used to what I'm seeing in the mirror, sort of thing, and I'm like, does it work? And I'm like you know what the question mark says it does, so I'll leave like this. But yeah, yeah, I'm, I'm, I'm, I'm going into a experimental era of clothing. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 1I'm excited for this era.
Speaker 2I am too Can't tell you where I'm finding it all. I mean, most of it is, but it's not. Certainly I haven't gone to like inside of a store and bought something, yeah, unless I've looked at it online to see, and you know, sure on, you know, in person sort of thing in a long time, a long time yeah, I think it was pre-holidays.
Speaker 1I went into von marr, which is a department store here uh, you've been to before, but I had a few things there that I enjoyed. I love their shoe department, so I you know I found a few pairs of shoes there that I liked, but other than that, like I haven't spent a long time, it's been a hot second are you feeling? Inspired no, no no, I'm in my um. I think I said this the other day.
Speaker 2I said I'm in my uh, I don't give a fuck phase and so I thought that meant fashion wise, but you're like no, no, literally, I think it might be literally a little bit of everything, uh.
Speaker 1So yeah, I'm just maybe wait for that to shift a bit, because I feel like that might have taken on a whole different uh scope than I originally intended it to take on you want to talk about it.
Speaker 2How are you doing jill?
Speaker 1how are you?
Speaker 2I, I think I think it is the I don't give a phase yeah, um, I'm doing all right.
Speaker 1I'm doing all right.
Speaker 2There's a lot of things going on, but I'm doing all right okay, yeah, any one of those things you can, I pick apart the look on your face are we recording right now?
Speaker 1damn, I can't hit the link. No, um, I mean you could, you could. We don't have to talk about anything you don't know, I know I know, I know, I know I'm just trying to think what is, I think, where it's feeling? The I don't give a fuck is just sort of in the places that I'm turning up and putting more effort towards myself.
Speaker 1I think that's the piece where it was feeling like all fun for a while and then all of a sudden I'm just like, well, do I care? But I feel like I also haven't been doing a ton of things that have been inspiring me either. I've been just kind of been like the mundane cycle of life.
Speaker 2And I think that.
Speaker 1that's what's got me in this little bit of a cycle of life.
Speaker 2And I think that that's what's got me in this little bit of a cycle. Yeah, yeah, things have, I think, shifted for you since the last time that we talked, where you started picking up more work, like in the family business. Yes, and I'm trying to think, like is there a connection to like trying to find the balance, as that gets picked up, between what inspires you and how to continue growing the creative parts of you as well as supporting, you know, the business side of the family?
Speaker 1I think so I think I'm trying to find what that balance looks like.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Because we just came off of one of our bigger shows in my you know support in that and then just looking at how does this all fit and just getting comfortable with the flow. So I think it's just after this first one, just kind of figuring out like what is this actually going to look like, when do I need to make adjustments for myself and what is it that I need to be doing? Like what are the things that maybe get put on pause for just a little bit of time and just know that I'm going to be picking them up again when things do get busy, versus just feeling like sometimes I'm just caught in the caught in the wave yeah, yeah, yeah and neglecting yeah, and I also think I'm I'm coming off of that busy part and I'm needing a recharge is really what I'm feeling today.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, yeah, time for a vacation.
Speaker 1I don't necessarily know if it's a vacation, I mean maybe, but it also just feels like it's just. I need to just settle right Just settle down Cause we came off the show on Friday late afternoon.
Speaker 2Yesterday we were working all day out in the yard.
Speaker 1Today we had family over. Tonight we have the you know the basketball game and then, yeah, so it's just been. It's just been a lot of peopling and I feel like I'm ready to not be peopling for a while.
Speaker 2Yeah yeah, I don't get my energy or my battery charged from doing the extended people thing for a while myself, so I can. I totally get it.
Speaker 1Yep. Then I also noticed too that in this, in looking back over this last week of this show, I also wasn't doing the things that typically give me energy and fill me up, which is journaling, meditating those two things are the main things for me. So I realized that I also didn't do those things, so I kind of started with my cup empty versus even attempting to fill up my cup.
Speaker 2When you wake up now, first thing on your mind what is it?
Speaker 1Oh, what's the stuff that I need to get ready for the show? Or what's the stuff that I need to do for X, y and Z. It's not the oh okay, I got to do this stuff for me first, and it's not because Jeff is asking for those things. But now it's like oh well, now I've got a job.
Speaker 2Yeah.
Speaker 1Now I've got to work. Yeah, yeah, and I liked before not having to work Me too. I love fun employment. I love it.
Speaker 2This is going to suck going back. Yeah, it's a good time. It's amazing what you can not do in eight hours.
Speaker 1Oh, I know Right, it's fascinating.
Speaker 2I mean it just goes so fast and I'm really not doing a whole lot. And you know, and I said that to a friend because I was feeling really guilty about not having a routine or things were feeling really redundant or not bored, but just guilt, you know, because I didn't, you know, the, the routine. You know I was still doing the things that I would do if I had to compress, you know, the things that I do for me into smaller amounts of time. Yeah, like extended everything, like if I go to them.
Speaker 2it's two and a half hours, not because I'm working out two and a half hours, it's because I'm spending three minutes in between each set. My warmups are now 35 minutes. You know, I'm sorry, the stretching before the warmup is 35.
Speaker 1I cool down.
Speaker 2You know I never cooled down before, but I'm like well, it's another 20, 25 minutes before you know my whole afternoon is gone. So that's been great. But the guilt, you know, that comes along with, um, after a while of doing. It know, first you know few weeks, it's like I can do this all week and then you start doing it all month and you're like, should I be doing this? People keep asking me when my first day is and I don't have an answer. Well, what's the guilt? What is the guilt? It is a worthiness like, and you know, am I? It's that, you know, am I right? Um, do I deserve this? I don't deserve this. It's not even a question of whether I do or don't, it's just like I don't. You know whether or not that's like the thought that is very clearly coming out of my mind. The guilt somehow is attached to the you know worthiness, the self-worth right, yeah, so that's it.
Speaker 1Is it potentially to like a little bit of the like?
Speaker 2to be valued is to be productive in something 100, yeah, 100, which in the friend who I was telling this to, she's like you're doing exactly what you know one would do. Given the free time and space, they have to do exactly what they want to do well, and it's funny because, like we, we are living this life that we've wanted for a very long time.
Speaker 1And then we have it, and here we are finding problems with it, like exactly like I'm not supposed to have this what am I doing?
Speaker 2Do something. Yeah, it's so funny. If you would have told me you know six months, a year ago that there's going to come a point within the next year where you're going to have almost two months free to do whatever you want and not freak out about money the entire time that you're doing it you, I there I would never think for a second. I would feel guilty. I would probably sleep for the first two weeks, not even change my clothes, not shower, just lay in bed and eat snacks. I would, I would live, I would rot Like it's, just rot for as long as I could and not have a lick of guilt. And I know, you know a week or two I'm gonna feel like shit. I wish I never spent a second feeling guilty.
Speaker 1Just hear my candy asses back at a job.
Speaker 2Right, like so I'm trying to now, after she said that I was like god, you're right, what is there to do? But nothing, and nothing is is everything, it's everything, absolutely that's a thing. Doing nothing is a thing it's enjoying.
Speaker 1It's enjoying this freedom that you've been talking about, this freedom that you've desired and wanted, like here it is in another form, yeah, yeah, and it brings upon guilt and why.
Speaker 2Yeah, yeah, cause it's the you know deserve. What did I do today to deserve this? Something I did today? I don't. I don't want to measure my worth in that way. I think there are good things that come from looking at life or things or tasks or goals from a day-to-day perspective. Because when you think about productivity, to me it gets overwhelming when you start thinking about the grand sum of whatever it is that you need to do to meet a goal. But when you think about that in respect to your life and the world, it's like you take every freaking second and stay on the toilet and scroll for hours and get a hemorrhoid from sitting for so long. You do that. You do that because it's yeah, it's um, yeah, I'm, it's yeah.
Speaker 2I felt better after after saying that and then she asked me to go to coffee. It was after I had sent her a message. Like I feel guilty because I've spent the last 72 hours, no sleep Googling Drake and Kendrick Lamar's rap beef. Like I completely overdosed Jill and we won't have to talk about this, but when I tell you, my eyes hurt. I had TikTok and Instagram on my phone. I was projecting YouTube and I watched every single person's reaction of that whole beef. I stayed up late to see if Kendrick Lamar was going to drop again because I wanted to be the first to hear it. It was my life. It was my life for a good three days, from a Thursday to a Monday, and by Monday I was like what am I doing? I'm in my bed, I haven't changed.
Speaker 1And I'm over over here going. I have no idea what the fuck you're talking about oh my god, oh god, it fed me.
Speaker 2It fed me. I wasn't hungry, but I was. Oh, I was high and hung over like a motherfucker the week because man. So much, and I'm glad I finally somehow I've gotten out of that neighborhood and now into the what the fuck was serena williams wearing at the met gala neighborhood.
Speaker 1So I mean, it's serena, do whatever you want, girl, um. But but hey, no one was complaining when miley cyrus wore it for her video. I mean seriously, oh but serena?
Speaker 2serena, who are your stylists and why are you saying no? Put me in the gold saran wrap dress with this hard fucking wig and makeup three shades lighter than my whole ass skin tone. Why are you saying yes to this? She's a beautiful woman, absolutely, absolutely stunning. You couldn't tell me shit if I had. If I had, serena williams body, I would never put on clothes, ever right. I would be naked every day outside. It's like block me up, block me up. If I'm not putting on clothes, I'm not putting on clothes. I would be fucked up out here.
Speaker 1And the way they have her in this shit, she's a millionaire, oh so anyway, I've been hard judging serena on tiktok lately I did get yeah, I did get caught in the whole met gala dresses. They're beautiful. There was a lot of beautiful things out there, a lot of scary things. A lot of beautiful things, a lot of scary a lot of you.
Speaker 2You know who I thought was scary and I know we're jumping all over the place. You know I thought scary, but after hearing or thinking about it which I love, and this is what I love about clothing and the inspiration behind it we're going to get you juiced up for it.
Speaker 1All right.
Speaker 2It was Doja Cat.
Speaker 1Now I don't know who that is.
Speaker 2You recall you can, you can look her up she was wearing. She wore two things One, leaving the hotel to go to the gala, she wore basically a towel oh, this was the.
Speaker 1Was is doja cat, the gal that was wearing the um uh, the shaved head shirt yep, yep, I mean, yeah, not mad about it okay, so here's what I liked.
Speaker 2The concept was like sleeping beauty or you know, something like forest, yeah, yeah. And she walked out of the hotel in a towel, with makeup jacked up and I kind of love the idea of you know, I'm sleeping my makeup and I'm getting um beautiful, like performing sleeping beauty with the towel on, like I fucking loved it. And yeah, it was also she, she was trolling it. But then I loved the basic the gel soaked t-shirt. You know she came out in a long t-shirt dress that was soaked in water and gel.
Speaker 1Yeah, and she's holding it also delicately, right Right. Did you know that they're calling it the wet gala?
Speaker 2At first I was like this bitch is a troll and I didn't get it and I thought she was just there just fucking it up. But then and I'm not going to remember word for word the explanation, I'll try and find it for you, but it was there was something to the effect of being the thing that creates the water, that makes the things in the forest sort of grow. It was oh no, there was like sort of a sadness, like for whatever reason, it fit for me in the larger scheme of things. And now I'm forgetting the exact quote, that where she mentioned like the art behind it. And I needed that explanation, sure, sure, like I felt a way about it.
Speaker 2I think art is polarizing either love it or you hate it. And if it's just like mediocre, then it's like, well, what's the point? Like I want it, I want to either fucking hate it or I want to love it. And this was just like what the fuck? Like it irritated me, like what is she doing? And then I saw the explanation. I was like, oh my god, I love that reaction. I love that reaction. So that was really interesting to me.
Of course, zendaya fucking killed it oh, jesus Jesus, all day, every day, both both looks Both looks. They're gorgeous, gorgeous.
Speaker 2That second one with the headpiece, the flower headpiece. Oh yeah, Bitch.
Speaker 1I just don't know who else would have been able to pull that off.
Speaker 2No, one, no one. It was brilliant. It was a bouquet headpiece. Yes, it was gorgeous.
Speaker 1Can't I?
Speaker 2can. Brilliant. It was a bouquet headpiece. Yes, it was gorgeous. Can't, I, can't, I can't. There were so many good ones and then, to your point, there were some ones. I was just like nikki minaj what the fuck are you doing?
Speaker 1yeah, I feel that way always about nikki minaj. What are you doing? I don't think it's necessarily anything outside of her character stop it right now, ma'am.
Speaker 2Oh yeah, and there are many others I can't think of. Zendaya was my number one top all day. I can't remember many of the men. There was one guy in a red velvet like um, uh, it was like a long tailored coat that had the. It was like a burnt fabric that wasn't necessarily burnt, but like the. The way a piece of paper looks when it burns, it's sort of black on the edges but then sort of Brown.
Speaker 1Oh, sure, sure.
Speaker 2Whatever the color of the paper is, yep, it looked like a wilting flower, like a wilting rose. Oh's just so gorgeous, very well done yes, yeah, yeah, yeah, and a hat that sort of had that same sort of effect where it looked, felt not velvet but like whatever that um, the texture of a, a really deep red rose. It's not velvet it definitely gives that sort of feeling. You know when you touch it yeah, yeah it was.
Speaker 2I don't know what fabric that was, but it was phenomenal and he looked amazing. But he's like an Instagram fashion guy tall, black, beautiful skin, thin. You know, I'll find them too and send you a picture.
Speaker 1Yeah, yeah, I don't remember that guy. Yeah, I was just looking at Nicki Minaj again. I'm just like she just looks cheap. It looks like she picked it up at the dollar store doing let me just put together these. That's the dress that I got. Let me just put some flowers on it. Staple them on. What are you?
Speaker 2doing. She is too grown for this. Look, it's kind of how I feel about drake to bring it back around about that. Like you're too grown for this shit but is he? Girl, girl, the way kindred read.
Speaker 1Into that man I mean oh, I do, like me some kindred lamar brilliant brilliant again.
Speaker 2Another person who leaves you thinking about their art after it's done like I still think about the lyrics or see something and someone's explanation, you know of what he said. That meant four different things, or could have meant four different things and it's like, see, that's the shit that I'm talking about. Everything's fast now yes break is fast food yes it's a home-cooked meal. It's it's roasted, it's roasted, it's caramelized, well-seasoned.
Speaker 2It's well-seasoned, it's tender, it's flaky, it's buttery, it like coats the inside of your mouth and you are full. For days you still think about that meal.
Speaker 1That is Kendrick Lamar Drake is the french fries I feel guilty about eating and they weren't that good to begin with they were cold, yeah, which is a real pisser, because the only reason I go to mcdonald's is to get those fucking hot fries, fries hot fries but I'm still gonna eat them cold because I'm here worse than hot fries with no salt either.
Speaker 2No seasoning. You know what I'm saying? Give me a little bit of salt on the fries. Greasy ass, cold ass. No seasoned fries, it's unsavory, it's unsavory. You think you want it, you think it looks good. It looks good from far away even. In fact. You remember when it tasted pretty damn good. There was a moment when you're like oh, I remember them fries, and fries was good as hell. You'll never have them like that again, nope. That's true, that's true, that is true, that's fantastic.
Speaker 1So would you. So would you say, social media is your drug.
Speaker 2Yeah, tiktok has me in a chokehold for real. Wow, yeah, for real jill. I mean, that has been my full-time job. While I've been a fun employee, tiktok has been my full-time job. I've been down the black wife effect neighborhood of TikTok. Have you heard of this? Oh, I.
Speaker 1I, I only have TikTok because of you. Um yeah, because of you really.
Speaker 2Oh, don't worry, I'll. I'll take care of you on that. The black wife effect trend is white men, black women. They end up getting married and it's pictures of the white man when you first meet him and his. As he's been with this black woman and I'm telling you they go from, like you know, derpy, sure, like who in the fuck is that? And they all have beards, all have beards. Somehow they look like they put on 20 pounds of muscle. The clothes are insane. They look like they smell good and it's, it's this trend.
Speaker 1It's amazing is it a certain part of the country trend or is it all? It's all over.
Speaker 2That's what's so fucked up about it. It's like damn. They start off looking like you know and all of a sudden you're like who the fuck is that? Yes, that is a fantastic trend I'm absolutely hooked on. Yeah Well, the black wife effect yes.
Speaker 1Well, I mean, I think could we say that our girl, miss Kravitz, started this. Uh, lisa, yeah, lisa, bonet, not with Kravitz no, he was already with.
Speaker 2Yeah, with Jason Momoa.
Speaker 1Oh yeah, she fucked that man uh yeah, well, and for all intents and purposes, that all that worked out for all of us.
Speaker 2I mean, yeah, did it start with her? I don't know who it started with, but yeah, she really. She did her thing on that Cause. He got finer and finer and you know what? Even Channing Tatum, because he's the daughter yeah.
Speaker 1Zoe.
Speaker 2Yeah, who was already cute. She had a nice piece of work to work with. Yeah, suddenly he's gotten just a little bit sexier too. It's her, it's her. Well, yeah, yeah, oh, you're going to love that trend. Yeah, tiktok's got me by the balls. Instagram, not so much because the algorithm. It knows what you like. It reads your brain.
Speaker 1Sure Yep, yep, yep. Well, I want more things reading my brain, don't?
Speaker 2yeah exactly, no, I'm really surprised you're not as hooked on tiktok as I am, though, jill, really I am I don't know what it is.
Speaker 1I feel like I've been just trying to avoid it for so long yeah and I'm not wanting to like be with the rest of everybody. Yeah, on the, on the ship.
Speaker 2Yeah, I don't do it.
Speaker 1I'm not telling you to do it, I'm not saying I'm gonna. I'm open to entertaining the idea Like I've got the app and I haven't deleted it yet. Like I've had it several times and I keep deleting it. Yeah, yeah.
Speaker 2And the fashion because it is inspiring. That way too, I do get a lot of yeah, it's New York street fashion. I get a lot of inspiration from that. And even Parisian street fashion, the Parisian street fashion area of TikTok, and it's not the women, it's the men. All right, just effortless, effortless. I want to dress like every man I see in every single Parisianian tiktok streetwear video. Just phenomenal, highly recommended. If that doesn't inspire you, you know we're gonna get you inspired, jill I'm, I'm inspired you inspired.
Speaker 2All right? All right, I talked a lot.
Speaker 1I mean, I don't think anything more than usual that sucks. That's such a shady remark no, it's not a shady remark whatsoever you know what jill? No, I still think, as I've you know, done the editing, there's still, you know, 60, 40, 60, you 40 me, and that's that's not okay. Why?
Speaker 2I'm not saying shit next time, I'm not, I'm gonna start wait, I'm gonna you wait. You're like okay, yep, I love you.
Speaker 1I absolutely love you.
Speaker 2Thank you for allowing me to be myself and not tell me to shut up.
Speaker 1Wow, I would never to be myself and not tell me to shut up, why I would never do that. Have I ever told you to shut up?
Speaker 2Let me think about that and get back to you in the next episode. No, I think I've asked you to to tell me to shut up.
Speaker 1And I still don't think I've ever done it.
Speaker 2No, you haven't.
Speaker 1Yeah, it's just not my deal.
Speaker 2You're so nice.
Well, no, you haven't. Yeah, it's just not my deal. You're so nice. Well, to some, not to everyone, I'm pretty sure there's not a blanket statement that it's just like oh yeah, that jill daylor, she's so nice. I mean, I don't necessarily know that that's a sentiment across, you know, across the globe, but that's okay I would say that for me you are, you're nice, you are loving, you are generous, you're fucking funny.
Speaker 2Yeah, you are.
Speaker 1Uh, you're intuitive, yeah, yeah thanks, I gotta come on here more often.
Speaker 2You do, you do oh, please I'll catch you up all day, all day all right, well, this feels pretty good yeah yeah, thanks for chit-chatting hey, thanks for chit-chatting.
Speaker 1Well, let's try this. Let's try this exit. So thanks everybody for joining shakira and I for our little conversation today. Catch us again the next time we post. Share us with your friends, like us and leave us a review. And yeah, it's great hanging with you.
Speaker 2Don't leave a review based on me, based on Jill. I can't take the judgment. I'm sensitive.
Speaker 1We're all sensitive and that's okay. Thanks, boo, love you. Love you too. Bye.