Episode 22 | 9AM in Dallas

10 episodes ago we turned the lunchroom into the visitation room as Riyan joined us via phone from a Maryland state correctional facility, ahead of his release from prison. 

Now we pick up the conversation during Riyan’s first visit to Zan’s home in Dallas. 

Look at this as an expansion of episode 12. After all, everything is bigger in Texas. Except Zantoine. He’s undersized in that state. 

Topics:

• “The Feds” - 0:45
• Newport News - 13:43
• Royal with Riyan and Randy - 28:00 
• Travel Goals - 51:49 
• Prison Palate: The Cookbook - 62:00 

Words of the day: Commodious and Itinerant 

Transcript

0:01

Yo, my guys in the house, looking extra B-more. I love it. This is great, man. I want to run out and get a chicken box right now. That's fine. I would run out and get a chicken box right now. Y'all got me hyped, man. It's good to see y'all. It's been a while. Good to hear from y'all, man. Excited to be back potting, getting our sea legs under us. The month break podcast? We're back. episode 22, you know, wiping the dust off, getting things together. But we got not even really an update, but it's just like life coming full circle today. We got our boy Ryan, as you remember, we've kind of chronicled his life from his last days in the feds and then from there being released and coming back into a completely different world. And now they're kicking it at the crib and it's good to see y'all together. I wish I could see this, but they signed to the podcast as Dale and Brennan from Step Brothers, which I love, which is absolutely just the most appropriate title. So yeah, how's it been for y'all, man, kicking it again and, you know, just getting reacquainted and being out and being able to enjoy the things that, you know, you haven't been able to for some time. Um, you know, for me, man, it's, it's kind of surreal, you know, like, uh, as much as you want your freedom to come. And I was in state prison, not in the feds. I was going to let you correct me. You got the old voice in. Yeah, you know, but for the record, you know, whatever. So, um, even when you think like, I knew I was CZ, again, this is my guy, right? You can't really, like I can't really put it in a context because even though when you know you got a release date, when you got a lot of time, you can't look at that because it slows you down. Like it puts you in a state where, even like before I got out, right? I knew that something probably would happen in my favor. You know, I even had a parole release for August of next year, but you get... what prisoners call gate fever. And gate fever is everything that's going on starts to bother you. Like, it's like people can sense that energy. So you have a lot of guys, like, even guys who haven't done a lot of time, they're mad that you're leaving. Like, and it's like, well, you at three years, you gonna be gone anyway. I got your time in on the toilet, but, but it's a lot of that. So you know. It didn't really hit me until Zay came to Baltimore and we chill. And this- Oh, so this is for context, this is in May of this year. So you got out in March, right? I got out in March. So Zay came to see me in May. Still had a little prison on him back then. It was only $68. Yeah, you know. Yeah, I mean, I'm still like, there's a lot of good and bad, man, but there's a lot that I will. A lot of habits that I've still maintained from that, just institutionalized or whatever you may call it, but some of those habits I'll never be able to. Yeah, what's been the hardest thing for you as you've transitioned back into society? What's been the biggest thing for you to kind of grasp? How many people have asked you questions like that this weekend, man? And it's cool, because people generally want to know, but it's funny, like everybody we've interacted with and we should talk about some of those people we've met along the journey over the weekend. But like everybody's had that question. It's funny, because I'm interested to hear the answer, because I don't know the every time it's just something different, new reflections. Yeah, you know, it's not something you really have like. a one track answer for that. You know, because as much as the world shifted, you know, with the technical advances and stuff like that when I was inside, I always kept my brain focused on what was going on in society. So... I was much more caught up than a lot of guys. You were actively engaging with society in some fruitful ways. To still be enrolled in college and participate in classes. Absolutely. I was dealing with people that were in society on an everyday basis. I take snippets from that. I put these things in my subconscious so I knew when I get out. Oh, okay. I'm hearing about different places. I think the biggest thing that impacted me is seeing Baltimore. pre-my incarceration, post-my incarceration. Like, seeing the gentrification coming in, seeing the more pro-black things. Like, you know, now we, you know, being pro-black now is nothing, right? But, years ago, you're pro-black, you'd be like, what you talking about? You know what I mean? So, it's different, you know what I mean? a bunch of stuff happened in that city. So, you know, the paradigm did shift a little bit. Baltimore's historically racist. Like Baltimore is an old, you know, congressional, you know what I mean? One of them old presidential, it has that feel, but just seeing how tore down it still is really bothers me more than anything. You know, it was an interesting thing that I'm thinking about, man, because you know, you weren't always at, out there in Jessup at Patuxent, but- for a good portion of the time you were, right? And that's not super far outside of Baltimore. So to say, to see Baltimore change over 17 years, but you were kind of in exile within the city itself, you know, within not far limits from there. So to have something changing right beyond your walls. And Ryan was talking to me, you know, bunch of conversations over the last few days. So y'all this Saturday right now we're recording, Ryan's been here since Thursday morning, 9 a.m. 9 a.m. to 1 a.m. we were in the streets on. Hehehehe Yeah, we didn't. I don't do that, so we'll have to talk about that. So I'm exhausted right now. But Ryan would say things about not to any effect to push me, like, yo, this is what it was like inside. Reflections, right? So we would be driving. And this is our first time of me driving Ryan anywhere. This is our first time in a car not piloted by one of our parents. OK. at that age yet. Yeah, yeah, right, got you. years he had. So like I didn't get a license till I was 19 in Georgia. So we're driving around, you know, and even that, those are things that we're not really sitting with. It was like, this is amazing that like, I'm finally just joy riding with my boy. This is something we never got to do as kids. So I was talking about things like, yeah, man, you know, being in a car and I'll let you share your own reflection, but like being in a car is different for him and he's still adjusting to it because he's like, I didn't go anywhere in a car for 17 years, right? Like I was either on a van and the... windows were blacked out, you know, the prison bus like we see in Detroit, right? He was like, and I was shackled. So he's like, just even to be kind of in a word of the day, maybe Commodity estate and be in a car, he's like, and he's falling asleep like a baby every time, snoring like a bear nonstop. You got to talk about when you heard him snoring yesterday. It was crazy. It was, yeah, like, you know, for me, and I was in, and even though I was in court, so I was more mobile than a lot of guys, because I was in court for seven years straight. And like, even though I was in the Jessup area, you know, I had went as far as Cumberland, like in the maximum security and I went to- So for non Marylanders- Yeah, non Marylanders people, yeah. To give us the context of Cumberland, about the distance and everything is Maryland. It's a big difference, like it's- Yes, I mean, you can get to Philly quicker than you can get to Cumberland. No, for sure. He going towards, yeah, Pittsburgh. Yeah. like even that, you know, three hours on a, you know, like a conversion van, that they'd have put, you know, whatever, no seatbelt, of course, you know, they okay about the prisoners. Or with shackle, you know what I mean? And then, not just regular shackle, the state of Maryland actually has this device, I don't know what the proper name, it was actually designed by an inmate. It's a literal like a lock box that they put like near the center of your chest or your stomach and they lock you in so your wrists are like. Locked in place. Yeah, like a straight jacket, right? And then they put a chain around your waist, pull it towards you and then they shackle your feet. So you're in a van like this, two hours, three hours, they make your stops, they stop at McDonald's, they doing all types of crazy, right? You know, they're gonna refresh your car but they're gonna stop. Well, yeah, that's how they do, right? I've even seen them get in accidents because they're speeding, driving, like, you know, it's crazy, right? Anyway, but I never, I didn't think that would affect me, right? Until I got home and started riding. And I'm like, you know, I'm comfortable, I'm on my phone. I know I'm not in a dangerous situation. Like if I'm on a van, I don't necessarily feel like there's any danger because everybody is shackled, but I've seen dude, joke dudes out on the van. You know what I'm saying? So yeah, you know, I'm semi-conscious. I might try to nap a little bit, but I'm still on the swivel. So I would always make sure I got somewhere where I could turn. Cause I'm like, you come over here, I'm kicking one of your eyes straight up and down. There's not gonna be none of that. So yeah, being in the car with Zayn or being in the car with anybody, the motion. You know what I mean? And sometimes it just put me straight to sleep. It's like a toddler. Yeah. And I don't always sleep well enough. I think it's important to mention though, like, and that's why I asked the question, right? Because earlier in your journey, and we talked about my disdain for that word, but earlier in that transition, right? It was like, just being able to get your time back and being able to like walk into your grandma's house or leave your grandma's house and be like, Oh, well, what am I about to do next? You know what I'm saying? I only ask that because like we talked about things that you were looking forward to, but we didn't necessarily talk about things that would come up that you didn't even know would come up. And so when I think about you like going to sleep and snoring very loudly, by the way, like I called Zane, I called Zane and Zane was on the couch watching TV with Ryan or watching TV with, the TV was watching Ryan at this point. And it was like the loudest. Yeah. that I mean Stu have watched so we're watching Eastbound and down and Southside and all that stuff. Isaiah is setting me up you know what I mean? Liz is making shrimp and all that. We just had sweet potato waffles with fried shrimp and home fries I also had chicken sauces so we're definitely sleepy right now Liz has been holding down some chocolate. Shout out to Liz for cooking. to finish this point real quick because I think it's important that like, you're at peace now. Like you feel this level of safety on some level that allows for you to kind of like, not have your head on a swivel all the time. Like I'm with my boy, he got me. We set, I'm in the crib, you know what I'm saying? We just vibing out. Like it's nice to be able to kind of like... Well, that too. to your point, whether or not we have been in a crib. I mean, even when we going out, right, my level of comfortability, like even when we going out, I think I was telling Zayah last night, like when I'm in Baltimore, if I go out somewhere, I'm sitting facing the door at all times. No question. what I'm saying? That's also just a black man thing. We seen Malcolm do it. We just like after 92, we seen Dindell ask Malcolm to do it. Yeah, like, you know, it's a thing. Well, we don't know what happened with Tone, right? We don't know how it ended. And he's not seen Caprino, so we might run a couple episodes today. He hasn't seen it. Yeah, like I remember it like on TV back in the day, but I don't remember it from like, yeah, we were young. You know? But yeah, you know, just that. Sitting with you back to the door you were talking about. Yeah, like, you know, not having to do that. I mean, not. I don't even feel like, one thing I'll say about being out here, like, I don't even feel the need to be like that. Like, I know it's trouble everywhere, right? But the energy here doesn't give me that, like. Be clear, we were in Deep Ellum last night. Yeah. You might, you need to handle this with me in Deep Ellum. No, like, even when we were there, like, and the only reason why I'm gonna say this is because, like, even when we were there, like, I could see it was, you know. I could see what type of dudes was out there. Cause I read, you know, I can read a rubble like this. Right? So I see, yeah. I see the gang members. I say it all that, you know, I'm definitely on the swivel. But the difference is like what I'm going to, yeah. But if like, if we were in downtown Baltimore, like, or going to, it's a different type of being on the swivel. Like, yeah, like this is. Like. Then you gotta decide so I guess another thing about being on this and listen that rate rain clouds show these farmers round here I said it don't go down, but I'm like the things that I've seen well from like it's crazy, so I Spent a lot of time like sitting outside, right? Smoking Newport smoke Newport cow I wish we had a digital person to get us a meter of hiring new ports of smoke the day like that's my but You know what like that? Smoking them joints like Zelda power-ups is yeah, like, you know Heads up to Pat. Yeah, it's like sometimes I be feeling like, you know, I gotta have one. Like, that's enough with me. When my anxiety gets to, like sometimes I can feel it. is it an anxious thing? It's kind of like a, not nervous habit, but like when you feel like maybe a little overwhelmed, it kind of mellows you out a little bit. Definitely like if I get over well, I was asking what cigarettes do for people. I think it does the same thing for everybody So I and I think I'm good for 10 years, you know me so So so say a little more about because you know, like we talked about this before when you guessed it with us But you know many people will We have these sensationalized versions and ideas of what prison is based solely on entertainment and media, right? But one of the biggest things we've often seen represented in media is cigarettes in prison culture. So like, for it to be such like, is it that you picked it up when you were in jail? No, I was smoking cigarettes while I was in, but in the state of Maryland, actually, yo, it's crazy, the state of Maryland, the dude filed a lawsuit. stating that secondhand smoke was killing them, right? And one, so they banned cigarettes and stood them around, it was crazy. So the dude that filed the lawsuit, I think wound up doing something to him. But that's how it is, like, you did that? Got something for you, man. But... Yeah, we ain't got we got nothing to hear man. Yeah, you just as stressed out as everybody is here but yeah, so When I did that's also like mom wheels to turn like else So did they give everybody nicotine patches though because it's legitimately addictive. Oh, no Everybody goes cold turkey. That's how they do a prison when they take something from you. It's culture Like there's no warnings. It's no buildup. It's this is gone Accept it or don't accept. I've been dealing with that Zane was like, well, you take this, you create another problem. So I was just like, whack-a-mole. Nah, you know, it's real. It's a good question. it really creates that pressure cooker type of environment because some of these things are pivotal to people outside prison. Like, at one time they were banning certain types of books and like, like conscious material. Yeah. So yeah, and a lot of stuff they do, they start in there, like banning conscious material, not letting dues get together. One thing I will say, like it's the same thing in society, they feel when black men come together. You know, I'm gonna use that as a segue, bro. Black men coming together. I won't get off the prison talk for real. Lil' Whit. All right, so. going to say I want to pivot to that because we on the outside now. We looking towards the future at this point. Go ahead, Zan. So right, let's talk a little bit more about what you, so what has been your favorite thing as far as weekend? Cause you're experiencing something brand new now. You have traveled, let me give you all this, fans, listeners, we're back. So- I've been out around, it's like my first rodeo's I've been out. Yeah, so you went to Atlanta recently within the last month or so, right? Yeah, I've been to a few states, I've been out. I've been to Atlanta, I've been to, I went to Jersey for a few days. Of course I was in- I don't consider DC going out of town. I'm talking about places you've had to fly though. Oh yeah, yeah. Places that you have not been to. Oh yeah, like, okay. So yeah, I was VA, like really going to VA as an adult. Like I went as a kid, but flying to Atlanta, flying here has been definitely, definitely different. I loved it. So this is your second flight in- Yeah, it's my second flight. And two decades basically. Probably, yeah. So like even that, right? Like flying in really fairly sizable airports, even in Navigate, like going- Hartsfield Jackson got the train and all of that. That was the craziest thing about Atlanta to me was the train. And then the group that we worked with, they were like, oh, the hotel's right here. So say more about why you were in Atlanta. Okay, so I went to Atlanta for the National Conference for Higher Education of Prison as a member of the University of Baltimore, as well as I'm the co-chairman of an organization called Project Emancipation Now, which is about, you know. getting it's an anti-bullying anti-gay unit, you know, that does a lot of community events and stuff like that. So. Hold on, nah, we're not gonna skip over that. Let me get your flowers first. Let me get your flowers first, bro. Hold on. Because you was moving a little fast on that. That's huge. the buttons are anymore. No, it's cool, man. So yeah, so I went as a... Because y'all know I was in college, so of course I'm still continuing my education. So I just finished the semester. But like I said, I went as a part of the University of Baltimore. I actually work for the University of Baltimore now. So I'm almost considered like an administrative pay assistant for the Second Chance program for the University of Baltimore. So when guys are getting out... I take them around the campus, show them how to get the ID, because you got to get buzzed in everywhere because there's a lot of hobos downtown Baltimore. So they be trying to sleep in the hallways so they got everything locked up. But so I take the guys around, giving them advice, but really telling them, I think for me, I don't have no fear about navigating life at all, right? I survive prison, I survive the streets of Baltimore, I can survive life, that's easy. So a lot of guys... never had a quasi adult life when they went in. So, you know, doing that with them, but we went to the A, it was like 2000 people, it was at the Grand Hyatt. So there were a lot of different, there's a lot of different programs from all across the country, man. I made some connections with some beautiful people down there. Like guys who've been formerly incarcerated, one of the dudes probably had a doctorate from Harvard. He has a program now. I was there with another organization called From Prison to Professionals. And it was beautiful to see so many people focusing on the issue about getting guys that's incarcerated, secondary education. But it was also, because I'm very reflective, it was also kind of crazy. Like, we got all of this money to do this. Why don't we put these resources in the elementary schools rather than wait until somebody already in prison? Yeah, so it was like, it was kind of surreal. Like, oh, we doing this? Y'all celebrating this? Yeah, clap it up because in the massive conservation is a high political topic. But the real fact is, why we not doing this in elementary school, in the playground? You know what I mean? So there was that context. So two quick things, man. We were talking about, so one, beautiful reasons why he went to Atlanta, really something incredible in life, continuing to build upon what he experienced and bring those lessons to other people. So love that. You got to experience a new city for the first time, a city where you kind of had dreams of like, when we really fell out of contact, it was my freshman year of college. And I was supposed to cover that ladder, right? That was my thing. I was like, cause that's what Zayn's mom was like, yo, why don't you just go to Atlanta with Zayn Tuan? You'd be getting in trouble. You know, and then it was like, even though like I was getting in trouble, you know, when me and Zayn were hanging with you as kids, it was different. Like I was getting in kid trouble. You know what I mean? When me and Zantwan were no longer in contact, I was getting in growing folk trouble. You know what I mean? And I'm still getting in kid trouble now. It's clear, right? You know what I'm saying? Good clean fun. And it was crazy. Yo. but Zambian house, Zambia sleep at 9 p.m. Ha ha ha. I've been out until one o'clock in the morning the last day. I'm impressed, I can't even lie. I'm dragging them around with me, man. I just be liking to see the people. That's a big thing. That's one of my questions. I hear where you're going. And one of my questions, Wesley, you talked about, you don't have a problem navigating life. And I agree. And then there is a subset of navigating life that has to deal with navigating social situations and environments. And you talked a little bit yesterday about, or maybe the day before, but about like, oh, you're. you're happy to be around professionals at the college. Oh yeah, what's up? I'm not done yet. So you haven't been around professionals, right? And then this idea of you in a new city, and every city has its own social cues and environments. And I haven't seen you struggle with it, but I wonder what that's like from an anxiety standpoint when you're going from, and you've been home for quite some time now, right? But even in those initial times, it's like, I'm in a new city. And Let's be clear, we fell out with each other last night. We both of us were exempted stress behaviors. He's like, yo, I don't know where I'm at geographically right now. And it's like that orient into I'm trying to see the environment, I'm trying to see the social cues. You made a comment about you just wanted to be around regular people. And it even made me think about, all right, well, what is the crowd that I'm around that makes them feel irregular in any space? We'll just talk a little bit more about the social cues that you navigate and how that really comes out. Because I'd imagine as someone, I'll wrap it up there, did go to, who was in prison for so long. To that point, you can navigate any social, because you're constantly looking at these really complex social dynamics of people coming from all these other places. So what's that like for you? For me, you know, it's different. I think a lot of times I just be wanting to see our people because, you know, that's so, I put so much time into studying about who we are as a people, where we come from and what we've been through. Our people, he means Baltimoreans. Nah, I'm just kidding. It's good for the beat. If someone's not watching this podcast, I think we sound like people who are not black. So now I'm just kidding. Yeah, you know, the bottom of Johnny, my homeboy, always say we sound like British pirates. But I think that's pretty dope. Yeah, like, you know, being around professional people is one thing because I never wanted to live a street life. I never wanted to be a street dude. That was never my dream, right? I didn't wake up like, yeah, I'm gonna be a gangster. Like I told you all the time, being a gangster 24 hour day job, you can never let up on it, right? So, being- It defined professional sports, man. What do you mean when you say being around professional? Like being around college educated people, not even just that, being around successful people. Like for me, because- I come from an environment where you don't see a lot of that. It's a college two blocks from where I'm from and nobody that I know went to that college. You know what I mean? And it's an HBCU. Shout out to Coppin State. I guess. Yeah, so they're doing a lot of things for the community now, so I'm going to leave that at that. Being on the University of Baltimore campus, it is a lot of, it's a lot of older professionals because the University of Baltimore started out as a law school for adults. So it's like, it doesn't, and then there's no dorms and stuff like that. But also, wherever I go, I really be wanting to see, because people talk so bad about our culture, right? You call it whatever you want. But one thing about it when, a bunch of us coming together, the vibrations that we create, the energy that we create, that's what I really be wanting to see. I just really be wanting to see. Because we're literally a drum people. Something like this. Absolutely, the top of the drum, wherever we go, we create that vibration that's in us. Stuart can speak to that as our Reza Ghanian. Yeah. Hey, y'all are giving out free citizenship to all black people. Yeah, I've been actually thinking about going, so. Yeah, I gotta figure mine out too, because I should have been done it for real. I gotta put pen to paper on that, but yeah. not giving out Ghanian citizenship to all of us at your wedding, the African wedding? We're not doing that? I thought that was in our little mid-bags. I'm sorry. You did. You did, but you put a footnote. Yeah, because I was even looking at the condos and the living space out there. People think it's cheap to live here. Bro, so Ryan's phone is a very interesting phone. So just the fact that like he's looking up, you're looking up condo prices in Ghana. I've heard some of the videos that play over your phone. Like Ryan, it's a different world inside of that phone than what's in my phone. Yeah, so I listen to a lot. My thing is sports commentary and conscious activity. So I listen to a lot of- No, you don't just listen to it. We all do, because Ryan has been playing his phone without headphones. Oh yeah, so I love my headphones. I know, let's be clear. We're all listening to it. No, I love them. Oh, man. you know, Russian. But that's how I know he's alive on the other side of the house. So look, that's how we know he's alive on the other side of the house. Like, all right, we hear the snore, a Newport cough, that phone loud. All right, yeah, he's taking it. Yeah, okay, he's good. He's good. My man is good down there. He don't need nothing. Yeah, so... Just you know that, like man, you know, seeing all people out and about, like we went out last night and we didn't stay long. You know what I mean? I just wanted to. It was long to me. Long to this guy. Wait, what was not long Ryan? What time did y'all leave? All right, so Stu, I'm trying to be the last one. We left the house at 830. First of all, like, you know, 830, I'm settling in. Venice is living in me. It is so, but, right. We left in link with Randy first though. So we went to go eat at Royal. Great meal. Yeah, it's Dr. Randy. Absolutely. Yeah, good dude, man. That's the first thing I heard, he said, I'm from Virginia. I said, we're part of Virginia, real Virginia. like yeah, I'm from J&B. Yeah, I hear him. He ain't from Alexandria. But yeah, you know, it was just dope. And that's another thing. You know what I mean? Randy's a doctor. You know what I'm saying? And that's something that I always, I've been saying this in my mind, like yeah, I'm about to get my bachelor's now, but I'm already thinking about, am I even gonna get my master's or I'm just gonna skip it and get my doctorate? So that's something that's really on my mind constantly. You know, that's why I be like, I went to Atlanta, so. But in a few weeks, I'm gonna go to Charlotte because I'm really looking for African history's program on HBCU. My dog is itinerary. He's got a lot of places he's going. Yeah, so it's like, because my thing is this, right? I gotta work two or three times harder than a dude that's never worked a day in his life because of my background. Now I can speak, you know, clear and concise and give you my resume, but when you look me up and when you see what I've been charged with over the years. That's gonna outweigh almost anything unless you really know me. You know what I'm saying? Because that doesn't mean I was convicted and all that stuff. And that's not how a background check works. And they don't give you just a list of your convictions. They give you a... That's something I didn't know. Yeah, they give you a... It's charges not convictions. I mean, your conviction will be on there, but they don't separate that. So it just shows what you've been charged with. And then what they do in, especially in Baltimore, because it's so racial, like they'll literally... like charge you with something and then the next thing you know you got 30 counts or something when you go to court. You're like, there's no way I did 30 different things in this one, is there? It just didn't happen. But that's what you go through. And then by the time you get, you know, found guilty or get non-processed. I did about 12 of them, man. Like, it's just like. Maybe I did 8 of them. But, it's probably wrong. I'm fair enough. So, it's crazy how they do it. Like, and a lot of times when you get to court, you ain't just non-processing. You know what I mean? And they still put it on your record like you've been charged with it or whatever. So I think they do it in different ways. But I've definitely been looking into things like that because I know that not only from my record but sometimes my disposition. You know what I'm saying? Like I know that when I'm out and about I don't navigate people saying slick stuff or ignorance to me like. regular people do. Like in my mind, I be having to remind myself first, like, you know, I'm not there no more. I'm not living that life no more. And I want to get to a space where I don't have to do that. So I want to give some color commentary on what he's saying, right? So Ryan was sitting in the backyard sharing stories with Elizabeth and I, and I won't go too deep into it, but like you've seen people get beat. with canned goods and socks because of someone saying something off-cuff. Oh, just words. Yeah, so you're now in a society where it's like, okay, this was what people were doing when someone said something that was a menial thing to us now. So just the context of what you're navigating the world with. Absolutely. No, I was, you know, I'm still trying to navigate away from the prison thing, because I need people to know that I'm showing you a good time here. Oh yeah, no, listen, without a doubt, without a, I mean, we've been chilling. You're talking about eating with Randy, though. Yeah, I mean. But I really, like, what's the best meal you've had so far? Because this is the Lunch Break podcast, you know, and we wanted to do season, so this is season two, but only the second episode is season two. Second episode, season two, and we wanted, go ahead. Best meal so far has been with Liz Cup. The breakfast yesterday? The shrimp and grits, yeah. Shrimp and grits yesterday with the. Just it was like a green tomato. It was a home thing for me. The fact that my daughter got married, like that means more to me. Like even though we get out, like seeing the city. I spent another dollar in the street then. Yeah, like that's cool. I've enjoyed more of the, like we were exploring and then we like, I don't know where this, you know, we took me on the reservation, but like, you know, stuff like that. Like I enjoy seeing. enjoy seeing the different aspects on a city and the surrounding area. Like I was telling him he was on the expressway, I was like, on the expressway, we were like midnight club or something like, because it's so huge. What a niche video game reference to midnight club. It's a good niche reference or analogy every now and again. But it was just crazy, right? Like I said, we had never been in the car together that wasn't driven by my mom or his mom. So, right. or like when he was above like an Uber. So even the fact that we were just riding around, but that was different. You know, and Stu can appreciate that because for so many years, like I've always been pilot. He's been co-pilot terrible, just like you falling asleep in the passenger side, not really helping you out with the night. But you know, like he's seen me be that person that's just driving around exploring and navigating nonstop. So like he was getting that same experience. Like we're just gonna go far out and we'll find a park or some water. We'll kick it here. So. It's cool to be able to give that, and to your point, like show more than just the city. Because if you come to hang out with me, you're not going to get a lot of nightlife. It's just not my life anymore. So it's like, I know where it is. I can link you to it. But I'm going to try to show you something different because my way of life just looks a little different than that. Yeah, so it's really cool. had a car, I lived in New York, I have a car, so I got in a car, and I just probably knocked out. and New York, you know, over the heat of the gun. It's definitely, you know, because I definitely wanted to come out here and see what it was like too, because I was thinking about Houston as well. So just, you know- Very different city than that. Without a doubt. Without a doubt, I can imagine. And, you know, I got a few partners that stay in Houston. So that was another day, but you know. than anything else. So I got to- But for the mental roller decks, like me being here saying the night life, I was like- For the mental roller decks. Things can happen. So one of the things that I've loved is that, Ryan's got integrated, right? You've had a TV, you've had a, you've engaged with the world from afar. At least with the world and the culture and entertainment, I'll say over the last few years, but a lot of your references are codified and in this canon of, from the time before I went in, So a lot of our references have just been passing back and forth things that are in our mental roller decks from umpteen to X amount of decades ago. So to him saying mental roller decks like that's a 1992 boomerang reference But that's where it's encoded now because those were the good times before And i'm sure y'all do it too like movie references, uh I got him on deck Ryan, don't even worry about it. I got you bro. Yeah, so we, you know, it's great. And then as you get those type of things, like your brain is an associative property. So we associate what we see with what we know. That's why we do it, you know what I mean? And just because we grew up doesn't make it any different. Live this shit is more funnier now than it is back then. Like calling a kid Roach. Yeah, like we was telling you. No, no, we don't need to talk about this. Don't talk about that, okay, Eric? We can tell you about your man, I believe that. No, no, no. We get it in person. Oh man, it's crazy man. I was gonna ask that question only because I know, I know y'all got like childhood references that are encoded in the mental roller decks that are like just flying off and just like, it's a flywheel. I'm like, hey, my wife doesn't need to know that was me at age 13. Like, you know, I'm a completely different human. I'm getting there as well. I'm like, don't let the Aussie glasses fool you, my man right here. Ha ha ha. I love it. Remember we was hanging together so we ain't that much far apart. So, it's a lot of similarities. there's a list of people that know, you know, there's not, I would say there's not very many people that know Zan as well as you do for that section of his life for sure. And I love that you're able to revisit that stuff because it's great. I mean, it's grounding, you know what I mean? So that's important that you said that and I'll ask Ryan another question, right? Cause it's for that portion of my life, right? It's a time period. So Ryan is being introduced to while we've kept in contact, right? We've not shared space together as an adult. And like I'm an adult man with responsibilities and family and all this stuff now. And like even the way I navigate the world is different than it was when we were children. So I'd ask how does the man that is turning 36 in a few days versus the kid that was 17, you know, 13, 17 or whatever, how? How is, what are those differences like and those similarities, I guess. And specifically for y'all, I've been y'all guessing things, you know, I'm transparent and vulnerable. I've been wrestling a lot with my identity lately due to circumstances and things that have happened in my life. And I've been trying to reconcile who I was, who I am presently, who I might be in the future. And I'm interested in your perspective. We haven't been able to talk about it yet, but like who was that guy versus this guy? And what's the Venn diagram look like? Um, there's this. Great question. always gonna be, there's certain similarities about Zantuan that really never change. But I would hope so. I mean, like my thing is just like, even back then we hung out, but we didn't hang out with people, we hung out with each other. You know what I mean? Like, I'm a guy that's like, oh yeah, like, not really hanging over here, buddy. Like, this is not that kind of, yeah. We might hoop with you, we might, you know, hit the swimming pool with you, we might. We can chat a little bit, we might be here to swim the pool. Yeah, but we really not hanging out. Because we, I mean, we have a very different upbringing than a lot of people. From most of the kids in our neighborhood. Most of the kids in our neighborhood, like, most of the kids in our neighborhood had never known what poverty was. You know what I'm saying? Like, they didn't, like, I tell you all the time, I didn't really know we were broken until we moved out there. And I was like, damn, these kids got all types of stuff. You know what I'm saying, Sony? It's got two parents. Yeah, oh. You got a mother and a father? What you got there? So, nah. But it's so. that's when I really was like, oh, wow, people really out here living for real. There is that, and then there's also, you know, I know Zayn's been going through, can't even put a scope or perspective on what he's been going through. So that was more sort of thing for me, like I wanted to come down here for my brother. You know what I'm saying? So that was more of me just like, yo, whatever we gonna do. That's why I was really just dragging him around with me. Like, you to get out sometimes. I know it's not what you wanna be doing, but sometimes you like, and the reason why I say that is because I've been through so much things that I've never had the chance to talk about. Like I've been through so many things where I don't never even, and I did five years of therapy while I was inside, and I still can't talk about a lot of stuff that I've been through and stuff that I've seen. So a lot of times I'd be like, I don't wanna become a prisoner to my room. Like my first, literally my first night out, I went and locked myself in the room. And my mother was like, oh, you need to, come on, let's get some air in your lungs. Just do something, right? But for Zan, it's just, I think the biggest difference is now Zan is the man he wants to be. Of course we all, I believe that being a man is an everyday process, it's a growing process. But now he's in the space to be. to create a person that he needs to be for him, which is the most beautiful thing. Appreciate that. Because that's what we all wanna be, that I can't say it's the best version of ourself, but we all wanna be that productive version of ourself, because that's what keeps us going, especially for men, because we don't really have a safe space where we could just be like, yo, I'm going through this. Yep. And Zayn will tell you, man, my anxiety was so bad when I first got out. I called Zayn crying one day, like, bro, I just need to hear your voice, I'm going through it. And I really had to go outside because I didn't want my family and nobody to hear it that I really, I felt weak, you know what I mean? And I didn't know where it was coming from. So there's a lot of that. There's a lot of stuff that we go through, can't put words on it. So I just was like, I told him before, like, I'ma come down, bro. Like, that's my whole, that was a major thing because let me say this, I know a lot of people. Like Xanad tell you, we walked on the streets of Baltimore, people were always like, oh yeah, I know you. I was locked up with you. I know you from such and such. You wouldn't believe how many normal civilians you walk by have been locked up with Ryan just walking down the street. Oh yeah, I was like, you can't be walking. Yeah, so it was crazy, right? And as much people as I know. A lot of these people I don't give a damn about, right? But, and I'm not saying that like, I don't care about life because I'm deeply empathetic. It's just that I don't always have enough feelings to care no more, right? There's a big difference. Like I'm very empathetic. I'm very dedicated to my people on 12 cars, but I'll really be having a lot of feelings for just people when they eat shenanigans. So I'll be like, you know, get the fuck out of here. But, you know, me and Zayn lost contact for seven years. And Zad reached out to me. Like me and Zad talked communicated more than like my family members a lot and a lot. Probably as you know, me and Zad communicated as much as me and my mom. You know what I'm saying? So we had a different type of relationship before, even when Zad was coming from Philly to come see me. You know what I'm saying? Like- Sorry, so it just made me think of one of those things. because back to what this is, right? So Stu and I traveled a lot together while I'm in my hometown. This is us traveling together in many ways, right? And it's entertaining and Stu knows adult Zantuan, Zan perhaps, I'm still deciding what I wanna be called now. Stu who knows adult me and he's learned to navigate some of those, all of us have our things, right? But I'm difficult like everybody else and I'm nuts. So it was like, all right, did you eat? Did like all of those things? Cause I'm a very measured and meticulous and logistical driven person. So. The halt method. Right. So it's interesting because like you're out and it's like adult me, I think is different than kid. And while I was like, yeah, let's go do X, Y, Z today. It's like, no, I'm trying to hit like, all right, by this time you got to be here. So I'd imagine that's probably different. Is that like, I'm walking. No, I don't think that. And the reason why I'm gonna say that's not different because we would do stuff like that. I just think now, like I said, you're in a position where you can sketch, you know what I'm saying? So that's the same. I mean, we've always You know, like, it was never a time when me and Zayn would be together and we'd just be like, let's sit on the front porch today. Like, we've never been, we were never those kids. Like, we were always non-stop movement, you know what I mean? Like, if we looked up at eight in the morning, by the time we'd go in the house at 10 o'clock at night, we'd have been 12 different places. So, I already knew that Zayn was going to show me, like, yo, let's go in. I already knew that was coming. What was the most mind-blowing thing you've seen then, or maybe not mind-blowing? What was one of those things was like, this is distinctly Texas. This is what you couldn't believe that it was like this. Oh, she was distinctly Texas. I don't think you've been. Yeah. Shout out to this. This is a real endorsement. So this is actually perfect, man. You know, all right. So look, we drive it. So since I see the heart, a sign, I'm like, so I'm saying to them like, heartache, pause that. You know, people are. So how they was dope though, the food was dope. Yeah, how they was dope. That was definitely a, I'm not gonna say that was definitively like Texas to me because you got pit beef everywhere in Baltimore. Like you'll see dudes on the corner grilling pit beef. So it's just not the same, it's not on the same scale of course, but that was something I was like, okay, cool. So underwhelmed with Texas barbecue is what he's saying. But so Shields is, part of me off shields is an outfitter like an outdoor store. So it's like Dick's Sporting Goods meets Bass Pro Shop type of thing. All of the stores but yeah, but it is like it is ginormous in a way that is you can only conceive in the context of that everything is bigger in Texas adage and it's like there is an aquarium inside shields. And you know, there's a little like in some of those bass pro shops and Cabela's they got the little water thing But like no you walk through like beautiful aquarium with tropical fish. There's a ferris wheel inside That's Texas. That's very Texas. Wait, is that picture where you just ice grilling a bear? Is that where y'all were? Ha ha ha. Yeah, yeah. There's a lot of taxing in the army in Chile. So like, yeah, at first it was the bear. And by the way, pretty sizable in comparison to the bear, right? Right. I got a little grisly enemies, man. I had to check with my partner. They caught my dog, you know, I had to check them all. It was a damn big gash, man, you know. Be quick, you know. Be quick on your feet next time. Guns, galore, and... Yeah, of course. Taxis. that's Texas. Yeah, that's Southern states now at this point. God, it's crazy. Yeah, so, yeah, any, that's bad. It's America. It just sat in the limo. Fishing section, like everything. So we're in there, we buying matching camo shirts together. Like just- Oh yeah, I started, listen, I started to have my camo on today. I was like, I'm feeling real cash money, nine two thousand. But as I'm like, it kind of makes sense that I'm like, all right, what are we gonna do today? Trying to go to the outdoor store, bro? Like as the person that I am and that most people know me to be at present day, like, and he knows me, I was always going to Woods kid. And I was like, hey, We went to Inspiration, we checked out a couple lakes around here, we went on a little light hike, it was too muddy so we couldn't go too far. But I'm like, that's who I am, so why wouldn't we go to an outdoor store together? And we had a blast at an outdoor store. We was in that trip. For like two and a half hours, maybe it wasn't that long, but it was at least about an hour long. At least an hour and a half, we was in that. Yeah, y'all got in touch with your childhood, man. I got into, you know what I'm saying? That inner child. I know you is in there. Yeah, that's two hours by itself, the joint section. It's like, it's like, it's like it's like, it's like, it's like it's I don't like that. Oh yes, very short bursts of movement. he was like because it's a sense of when I'm moving he was like moving somebody but that then he had she got lattes and they think you know leave shoes for the dog lattes joggers was the casting I know They had the muffin. I said look I don't even like my we might need to take a picture and I'm matching camo shirts And I put it up or something like this We were for it right no question You know, it is so crazy like me as answer always explored the was the reason why I never You know as crazy that it comes to me now and I never complained of his bother buys because When I was a kid my little brother's father, I mean he's from Ohio. So he's just take us in the woods So we used to walk all the way through Lake and Park and through the creek and all of that stuff. So that stuff never bothered me. So I'm always one, especially because I, you know, my spiritual self, we are better when we are out in nature. That's who we are. Everything that's in the ground is in us. So, you know, we are out in amongst the trees and stuff. That's when we get our best, you know, our best vibrations. That's when we, you know, like for me, that's when I believe that we truly like practicing maya. So when I'm out like that, I feel at peace. out there in nature, which you know I'm huge on. I had just got back from the wilderness. So, you know, I'm already in my flow right now after just trekking around Washington state last week. So, which is another reason why I'm exhausted right now, man. So today we're gonna try to keep it light, but you know, Dallas is a day party city. So I want to get them out to at least see a little bit more of day life rather than night life before it's flight, because your flight's in it. Flight in a couple of hours, y'all. Ryan is a college student. who can navigate this world and I have high expectations of college students and he let me down on the front end of the journey. So I booked the ticket, he had one job, bro send me your email address so I can send you the confirmation. Gave me the wrong email address. I gave the right email with the wrong.com. Which is the wrong email. I'm trying to fill in, let me be clear. If you live on Peachtree Way and you put Peachtree Street, that is the wrong address. So at iCloud.com versus email. in Atlanta for sure that makes the difference It's so crazy. I don't know what I was doing, but when I went back and looked at it, I think I texted him like, oh shit, bro, I just sent you a roll. Like, oh man. So even today, right? And back to me being on my itinerant, I'm just driven by having things hit at the right time, and fire at the right time, and the schedule. I'm looking at, I texted him like, are you checked in? Text him from the other side of the house, right? Are you checked in? So now I don't have any. He leaves in a couple hours, I'm like, what do you mean you're not, you don't even have your flight confirmation right now? Like I'm freaking out. So we got that squared away. We're about to have a good time as the day ends. Stu, we've been talking a lot, but like any questions or anything you've been thinking about that or? No, I'm just, it's just like, it's good to see that you guys have been able to reconnect in this way. Like it's inspiring, man. It really is because it's great to be able to connect with someone that knew the former version of who you were. Like that inner child version of who you are. Ryan's very privy to that. And I think that there's a level of appreciation that you have. when you get to this stage in your life where we're all kind of in our mid to late 30s at this point and you're trying to figure out who you're going to be, it's good to have that reminder of who you were and where you come from. And it's good to have people to go with you on that journey. And so I love to hear these stories. I know y'all got a ton of them. I wish I could be there with y'all. I hope we can put a plan together to get together and just spend a weekend and just laugh and enjoy the space, man. I told him in Atlanta, he'll have more of the type of fun he probably was looking for out here. Because you know, that's just, y'all know what it is to like get me out and dream a lot. Yeah. Well, not for sure, but I'm just saying like if it was an Atlanta trip, right? To your point of you wish you could be there. Like if we were in Atlanta, we'd be there. we'll set that up for sure. You know, I'm like, usually when I come into a town, I got a few goals, like, you know, my mind that I got an accomplishment. But- I love the way he spoke around that, but I feel like all of us understood what he was saying. Right? I'm 35 and single, baby. You know what I'm saying? So. Look, that's yo. some bucket list items I need to get off my list. That shows that Ryan knows how to navigate this world. I know exactly what's being said here. It starts off like a match, you know what I mean? God help me. Absolutely, man. Absolutely, you know. So you know, but when I got here, I wasn't really thinking about that, man. I really, because I met. I didn't miss out, so I was like, I was... I left Ryan in the club when he was talking to the woman to go outside and sit in the car and read Our Daily Bread. I was like, man, I just want to go read the Bible right now. Like, it's just, this is a lot for me. He's like, hey, I'm out here. I'm here waiting for you. Like, it's one o'clock in the morning. I am exhausted. Like, I didn't read my devotional. I'm not gonna leave my dog, you know what I mean? You could've Ubered to the house. Zan has done similar things for me, and we won't speak about that right now, but we'll get that on the retreat for sure. Yeah, so you know what I'm saying? Like I appreciate that, because I know the type of man that he is, and I know that like, I know that it means a lot that you're out there for sure. So I'm happy that you were able to make that trip. And I'm happy that you got him out the house, because ultimately as much as he doesn't wanna do that, it's just good to get some fresh air and just, you know. be around people sometimes and keep that muscle memory strong. has a backyard. I know the fresh air I need in the backyard. You gotta get outside that square, man. You know, so, no, but it's been cool, man. It's something. happy birthday to Zan. We wish you the best in this coming year. We all love you. I love you. This family on this side over here loves you and appreciates you, man. So happy birthday to you. Also happy heavenly birthday to my grandmother, Carol Cornelia. She's going to be 80 tomorrow. And so that's a lot of love and a lot of reflection and appreciation. And got to meet her offspring about a week and a half ago. I got to meet Uncle Ryan. So we're here with Uncle Ryan right now. We got to meet Uncle Ryan a couple of weeks ago, man. So folks, I did get to see Stu recently. It was first, maybe twice in the last few weeks that you got to lay eyes on me. A lot of people wanna lay eyes on me because they haven't since long. Yeah. you were able to come through the crib. Happy you were able to get some, I mean, you were welcomed into many places here. So I'm happy that you got to spend time with folks on this side too. Yeah, we'll talk about some of those reflections at some point, man. We don't know when we'll get to our regular podcasting schedule, y'all, but we're trying to get back to some semblance of regular. Yeah. I feel like we sound like we don't wrap up notes, but I don't feel like we've shared enough, we've shared plenty. We recorded for 50 some odd minutes on the whim. We didn't plan any of this. No, this was dope, man. This was also something that I wanted to do, man, because I'll say this now, you know, when I did the first interview. You know, with your... Look at us, we're journalists, we did an interview. Yeah, we don't know. Hey, listen, we are speaking into existence. So, you know, so when I did the first one, and I didn't even share this with you guys, I actually shared it with a lot of the guys that I was incarcerated with. And I was like, yo, this is what friendship is. I'm like, yo, I don't know Stu from Adam and Eve, but for my brother to introduce us and for y'all to bring me in your platform, I'm like, yo, this is what black men need And then, you know, I'm very, I mean, I had a name in there. So when I did, and I don't share a lot of my personal stuff with guys. So when I did share that with you, people was like, yo, I appreciate that. And, you know, so like I got dudes that call me all the time. Yo, what's up, what's up, what's up, what's up in the studio? Yo, what they up to? I'll be like, they living life, bro. So, you know, cause guys, we need inspiration. So I told- I respect that we got network in prison too. Without a doubt. Like that's- that's kind of dope. I ain't gonna lie, you know what I'm saying? Like... Craig Muhammad, man. I talk to Craig Muhammad. I try to, you know, if I don't talk to him weekly, I text this girl like, you know, blah, whatever the case may be. Um. That's the clip where they say blah, blah. That's the one, that's the one. Yeah, so, I, you know, if I can, you know, that man is, that man is an angel, man. That man has done more, and he never wants to gratification for. Like the organization I worked with, Project Emancipation Now was created by him. You know what I'm saying? So, and yeah, he's the one helping me get to college and helping me get a Georgetown Law Review, stuff like that, helping me with my case. Like, sure, we look, this is how you file a motion. Just put it in time, but you know, things like that. Things that I really wasn't privy to. So I always, I wouldn't be here if it wasn't for Zan and it wasn't for him because, you know. brother's helping me in different ways. And then while we on the shout out log man, shouting out the inspirations, bro, shout out, I see jinx's stuff in your background, bro. It's his night. You made him mad. Let's make sure that. Okay. for the release of the official Morehouse sneaker with Nike. Well, one of our brothers, that Zan and him actually shared birthday, which is great. So happy birthday to Jinx as well. That's right. That's right. That's right. We rep a brand new clothing brand, a great clothing company. It's been a while since we got plugged. Live with the guy, he's a dude. And I wore this hat yesterday, dude, he said he loved the hat. So I was excited to talk to him about the brand. About a dog. Always. Yeah. I feel like we should have some type of wrap up with Rusty. excited to have had this opportunity. Yeah, I definitely I told Zayn when I first got out that y'all, I definitely wanted to sit down and do this with y'all. And I guess to that, but I also meant like to have the opportunity for you to be here, man. And it's and I'm wondering what you think. track so I can put this at the end. We talked about the century. We talked about... But I will say, and honestly, it should probably be like some Drew Hill, because we used to want to be a little R&B singers when we were younger. That's what it really was. I was talking to this child, he don't feel crazy about it. I'd be like, yeah, Drew Hill. I was like, I'm just asking myself, why I didn't call you something, Drew Hill? I don't know, these niggas, we's ballin' more. But it's ballin' more. That's a very ball time. I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not saying that I'm not 2K, like I guess we could play video games. Like this is what we used to do. It's been so long since, and now it's under completely different contexts and terms. It's like, I have stuff, like it's my house now and I can house you and all those things are just so mind blowing to me because we never conceived this as children that it would get here. That's been the biggest thing, man, to see somebody, I always tell Zayn, you know, see somebody that you come up with, man, to be successful, you know, doing what you're doing, you know, doing it the right way. You know what I'm saying? That means a lot to me just to be here, to be in his presence, being with Liz, kicking it with the dog, like that meant a lot. You know what I'm saying? Like this is why I was like- Kicking it with the dog. Without a dog, you know what I mean? Dogs are high vibrational. Only about dogs, right? We talk about people being high and low vibrational. Dogs are really high vibrational. Your vibration they write, they not rocking with you. So, you know, definitely, you know, just to be here, to be with my brother, man, and you know, to be with my brother's wife, and to be in the- This is, like I said, this won't, just like I said, it really won't hit me mad till later on down the line, but to be here, man. we got more time to make this normal. More time to make this normal, man. I'm in here watching my niece and nephew, our niece and nephew right now. So, you know, life is changing. We're growing, getting better. is grown, man. Jordan can watch herself. She is grown, man. Hey, look, I tell you what, I mean, I take care of them the way I took care of Jeremiah. Got up, made breakfast, made waffles and eggs and all that other stuff and yeah, what'd you say? What kind of waffles did you make? Eh, just regular waffles. I didn't do like blueberries or anything like that. Yo, there was a time, like, this is still weird to me when I go to Stu's house and I see him being Mr. Chef man because for a solid 10 to 12 years, like Stu never touched a stove. It is so weird to Stu actually cook, y'all. Like, I was a person, and it's opposite now. how to cook. I was just lazy in that time. It was just like, I just didn't feel like doing it. Well, yeah, that too. Like, now I'm in a kitchen that I actually like to cook in. So I'm like, all right, bet let's do it. And I got a grill too. So I'll be, I'll chef. I made ribs the other day that were amazing. So like I'll get in there and do one or two things. of ribs do you make? You eat pork? Nah, it was beef ribs. So legitimately, only for you, because Audrey don't eat beef, right? No, she doesn't. But yeah, every once in a while I'll get a hankering and I'll be like, all right, well, I'm just gonna make it. I don't wanna be disappointed. good. I'm living good. You're living good. All right. Look how good you live. You can just make beef work for yourself. had it baked for five hours, then go put it on the grill to get the char and beautiful. we were there. I got a video of you explaining to Liz how you were making cheese out of nutritional yeast We got to get the steward cooking show Like gale meals from right People out there that you don't know right there's no food better than jail food Never find out and I don't mean Yeah. I'm not gonna lie, I'm gonna tell you. The reason why I'm saying this is like, when you learn how to cook with nothing, yeah, like when you learn how to cook with literally nothing, your food is all that. Like, I remember how many records of my mother, my mother was like, damn, what you putting up? I'm like, oh, you gotta chill, I gotta be teaching you my secret, you know what I mean? gotta give us, you gotta give us like 50 pages of heat for this, for this cookbook, man. Put that on, put that on your list. I know you got other things on that list. Put that on the list for sure. open. I'm trying to, I'm gonna have my book finished by this summer. Y'all know I love alliteration. I'm gonna just give you the title. You can have this is free on the house prison palette. Prison palette. Alliteration, that's gonna be hard. Yeah. A cultural experience. I love it. Yeah, it's crazy, man. Ooh, the Patuxent prison palette. You know what's so crazy about Patuxent? Well, Patuxent, I really probably learned more cooking than this because down at Patuxent, you actually had a hot plate over there. And so I worked in the kitchen. Yeah, when I worked in the kitchen during that time, and of course, everybody in the kitchen is stealing. You know what I mean? He's talking to me about people making lattes in jail. I was like, yo, wait, what? So when I say my power lifting routine, I was working the kitchen. Yeah, I need a protein smoothie in the morning. You know what I mean? I need some dinner salad. Yeah, absolutely. But those were our times, man. All right, Stu. So I'll tell you one of the closing notes, man. Remember when you came to stay out here? It was at August 2020. I think it was July. Yeah, July. Well, technically, no, it was the end of July, beginning of August, because Liz's birthday was during the same time. So, nah, we joked about you wearing my slippers, and I was like, don't get too comfortable. Right? So, me and Ryan wear the same size. I'm currently looking at him killing the back of my Ugg slippers. There's no reason for his foot to be on the back of those slippers. So, just slippers off. Y'all don't respect my slippers in my house, man. So, uh. Hey, I got you, I felt you. Steve's talking about getting hit in the stomach. Exactly. This is programming. Programming. Hey, man. So thank you for having us during your Saturday Unplanned, Stuart. This has been a Lunch Break podcast, episode 22. 222. I'm gonna go hit these Dallas streets for one last time. Then I don't want to go outside again until 2025. That's fine. All right, man. Peace out, brother. Thank you, man. Appreciate it. Let me, so.