Earth Girls Are Easy / This is Rated WHAT?! (Guest: Keiko Green)

Screenwriter, Playwright, Producer, Performer,  and our first 2 time guest (Huh?) Keiko Green (@keikothegreen) telepods in Goldblum style for "Earth Girls Are Easy" (1988). Starring: Geena Davis (The Fly), Jeff Goldblum (The Fly), Jim Carrey (In Living Color), Damon Wayans (In Living Color), and Julie Brown. How horny can a PG rated movie get REALLY? You might be...pleasantly...surprised. (Brought to you by: Ownlee Fanz)

Plot: A Southern California girl befriends three furry aliens after their spaceship lands in her swimming pool.

Recorded 7/23
1hr 46mins

**All episodes contain explicit language**
Main Artwork - Ben McFadden
'Review Review Intro/Outro' Themes - Jamie Henwood
"What Are We Watching?" & "Whatcha Been Doin'?" Themes - Matthew Fosket
"Fun Facts" Theme - Chris Olds/Paul Root
Lead-Ins Edited/Conceptualized by - Ben McFadden
Produced by - Ben McFadden & Paul Root ("Shelf Help" - Paul Root)
Podcast/Program Concept - Paul Root

Transcript

Wow. Three different people, three different opinions. Wow. Which brings us to what the fuck we're doing here. Climate chat.

So let's This is where you come to get all of your most important information about climate change. Yeah. At least climate change within your your own vehicle. The climate you can control. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, everybody, welcome to the review review. I'm Paul. And I'm Ben. We have our first repeat guest.

You wouldn't know that. We'll talk about it a lot though. Keiko Green's here. Hi. Thanks for having me.

You're back. I it was you last time. It wasn't like a Charlie Donald thing. This is both they're both you. Yes.

Okay. It was it was they were both me. They were Great. I like that. Even the fact that we're saying Charlie Donald is already, like, confusing.

What a great The what these, fine layman's folks don't understand is that we had recorded an episode of Keiko that was adaptation, and we lost it to the tech gremlins. I do believe in gremlins. You know I watch it every Christmas. Thank you, Joe Dante. Thank you, Steven Spielberg.

Thank you, Chris Columbus, for so many things, all of you. Sure. But the tech gremlins did get it. Should we do a retro Spectacus? Should we say our rating of that film really quick?

I think that's fair to the fair listeners. Sure. I remember mine. Yeah. The adaptation, it was it from '2 that what year was it again?

02/2002. Two thousand '2? That sounds maybe right. February '3. Yeah.

Yeah. I watched another Chris Cooper movie recently. I think I was a four and a half from you, if I were to ask. We talked you we talked you up. Yeah.

I was a five. Like You were a five. Yeah. I, that was my first, like, really big, like, I'm gonna lay into this. I mean, this is my lane.

Yeah. Yeah. I was also a five a five ghost arc head, I I believe. That's a solid movie. Highly recommend it.

And the episode was the best in the world. It's true. Actually, I got a message from Bezos and he said, it's too close. You flew too close to the sun. So we deleted.

We you can't hear that, but this this is just a tribute. This is not the greatest episode in the world. No. That's okay. No.

This is a tribute. The way we're gonna attribute this is we're gonna do what we, normally do. Nothing special. Seems kind of insulting. But either way, Keiko brought us a movie that Keiko has feelings about.

Mhmm. We are in a position where we've all just rewatched this movie. There may be some previous experience, but we're previous experience, but we're going to give a rating to the film, talk about it for a little while, what happened, who is involved, and then ultimately rerate it. But before we get into that Did we tell them what movie it is yet? No.

I mean, they saw it on the they clicked the button. They did. I said press play and there's the movie. But it's Earth Girls Are Easy. I was trying to make things difficult apparently.

I couldn't help myself. Which is funny because isn't the line in the movie? You're damn right it is. Not all earth, like I don't even think earth girls are easy. Yeah.

And it's like like set by supporting characters. Yeah. It's just a Is it kind of a throwaway. I think it's a Gina Davis. Gina Davis.

It is. I thought it was Julie Brown. Oh, okay. Gina Davis. Jena Davis.

Alright. You guys are Julie Brown, writer, singer. Just an extraordinary talent. Actress. Yeah.

But before we talk about that movie Comma, comma, comma. Yeah. Like to talk we usually like to go and talk about what are we watching. Well, what are you doing? What do you wanna talk about?

Oh, yeah. Talk about you. Anything about you. What's going on? Yeah.

There's a I don't know if you guys heard, but there's, like, this there's a strike going on. Yep. It's affecting a lot of people. Tell me more. So I'm a cytogenetic organism, a learning computer.

So not doing all and active humans. Not doing a whole lot. Right before that, I was we were doing a lot of stuff, but now not so much. But I haven't, you know, I've got plays. I'm I'm doing plays now.

Yeah. Keiko's a writer for you guys. Yes. I'm a yes. I'm a writer.

Yeah. I yeah. We were, I was working on a feat I was developing a feature that we were, like, taking out a pitching, like, right before this like, literally the week before the strike, and then the strike hit. And I'm not allowed to talk to anyone about it, so I have no idea, like, how it hit. No clue.

Wow. Maybe in the fall, we'll find out whether anyone liked it or not. Wow. So crazy. That's so hard.

So weird. But weirdly, as like, as as an actor, super used to just, like, putting things in the back, you know, just, like, putting them away and never thinking about them again. Away. Yep. Yeah.

Yeah. So we, so I've been doing theater for the last few months, and I wrote I wrote two plays that were up in San Diego, and I acted in one of them because I had the time. It's awesome. Yeah. And now I'm off of that, and I'm just kinda, like, workshopping and and developing plays for the next few months.

And for you all who don't know, theater is like movies but with ugly people. Yeah. Who are paid way less. Oh, way less. Way less.

Yeah. I should go? You tell me to go? Yeah. Well, at this point, the you should go.

Yes. Because theater if I'm gonna theaters are if I'm staying on a soapbox, theaters are hurting hard. So Yeah. People should go see more live theater. Especially as a TV and movie start to run out.

Yeah. Exactly. Maybe we'll go see a play. Yeah. We've talked about $14.48 here.

We've mentioned the Pasadena Playhouse here in terms of that being a place that you'd like to go. My girlfriend recently saw the Beetlejuice stage play that's here at the Pantages, that it was fantastic. I didn't see that, but the tickets were, like, outrageous. Yeah. Lucky folks, obviously.

They wouldn't saw it and thought it was amazing. And now I get to be like, when's the when's the last time you saw the movie? And so that's gonna happen soon. We're kinda crazy lucky too in LA because we you can go to, like, a like, I went to, like, a tiny theater, like, what's called, like, Rogue Machine Theater. Oh, no.

That's weird. Theatrics or something. Yeah. And it was, like, a tiny play that was, like, kind of immersive where you're, like, stuck in this, like, police, interrogation room. There's, like, seats for, like, 15 people.

And both actors, I was like, I recognize you from TV. I thought you know, like, every it's it's it's kinda crazy. Yeah. Cool. I know that theater.

I've I thought I knew someone to work there, but maybe not. It wasn't Sting. Sting? Yeah. No.

Sting does not. Stingly actor, singer. Yeah. I know who I know. He's you know him as an actor first?

Of course. I know who Sting is. From David Lynch's Dune or Alan Smithy's Dune. Oh. Wait.

What is that? Do you hear that? Is it Sting? Or is it Sting? It's the theme.

It's not Sting. You'd swear It's our theme for What Are We Watching by Matthew Foskett. He made a theme for us. I call it here. Sting part two, the reckoning.

But it's playing. Yeah. And it's our little segment. But I do wanna add to what I'm watching. I am watching Afterparty.

Oh, yeah. That just they just dropped too. Too. Okay. It just well, started dropping because it's, like, a normal show that You didn't wanna comes out Yeah.

In the weekly increments. I know. Some people still do that. I'm excited for that. Is it there's only one episode out?

Two episodes out. And it's great. As good as the first season? It's great. Yeah.

Great cast. Much fun with the first season. I thought it was great. I'm a huge Sam Richardson. Yeah.

Yeah. Sam Richardson is back. Lord and Miller. I mean, there's just so many people involved. But Yeah.

First season was great. Also, the new season, speaking of Sam Richardson, the new season of I, I Think You Should Leave was amazing. Oh, yes. So those are kinda my two big What did they do to us? Yeah.

I I I think I've already watched I Think You Should Leave episodes twice. Me too. Yeah. I mean, it's We're all the same. Yeah.

We're all in the same space. I think we should be able to watch a little poor network. The one that I the quote that I It does have a bush. Yeah. The guy's like, you can't watch porn pork.

And he's like, this is my there's an egg showing its showing its butt. Then he doesn't answer. Yeah. I think he should be able to watch a little bit. What if we just for the next hour just do our favorite quotes from I think Asian one?

I think that would be a fine podcast. Oh, god. Lot of people give. Lot of people. The one that I was, the episode, the pig the pig mask.

The pig one. Yeah. It was so bad. His line of, my life is nothing I wanted to be and everything I was afraid it would be because for fifty seconds, I thought there were monsters. It's really existential and brilliant.

It's it's similar to the, like, I have too much shit on me. I can't do this. Yeah. He's just a genius. It's great.

Yeah. Yeah. I watched Mission Impossible, Dead Reckoning Yeah. Part one in IMAX, which, as of this date, had to catch it in IMAX before it got Oppenheimer'd, because it will no longer be in IMAX. Mhmm.

It was fantastic. I think I think Chris McQuarrie and Tom Cruise together make some fine fucking cinema. And I enjoy I enjoy the Mission Impossible is quite a lot. It's up there in terms of franchises overall, in terms of quality. And no two isn't a complete misstep.

It is very entertaining. It's a John Woo movie. Fuck yeah. It is. Yeah.

For sure. They're so reliable. Yeah. They are. Like, you They really are.

All you kinda, like, go in and you're, like, immediately, like, you're, like, I'm in great hands. Yeah. The interest you know, like, people we talk about is Ethan Hunt, the American James Bond. I think what Mission Impossible does is a lot of the same stuff that the James Bond like, story wise, does a lot of similar things. Like, Rogue Nation.

Right? The, the syndicate, that's Spectre. Mhmm. You know? And, like, Solomon Lane from that is is Bloomfield.

Like, they there are there are very clear comps. But they what they do that's really interesting that I like is that Ethan Hunt cares so deeply about everybody. Mhmm. And he shows it. He's not afraid to show, and he can be compromised that way.

Like an American. Well, I mean, it it it is a little bit because Yes. I agree. I truly Bond is way more cold and pragmatic. Yes.

Yes. And Distanced. Yeah. And I think that that's just, a smart way to distance the care, like, to make it a very clear, differentiation between those two and changes the stories in that way. But I think they're fucking cool.

They're fucking cool movies, and they're fun. And, that's one that I would recommend. I'm gonna present something. Present is Mission Impossible, Bond meets Fast and Furious. Is Ethan Hunt Vin Diesel family?

No. Because Vin Diesel is also kind of like, at least in his in his performance of it is also like, he says really warm things. Mhmm. He's pretty distant and cold. Like, I do feel like there's something about Yeah.

He's a little he's cruise that is, like, ultimate charisma. Another question. Okay. We will be accepting the questions at this time. Is thank you.

Okay. Thank you. Is Dom Toretto actually triple x? Are we gonna find that out at the very end where it's like the whole time this was a mission? Maybe.

That'd be fun. So what am I watching? What are you watching? I, I saw I'm gonna say this. I saw Cool and the Gang live.

They were amazing. They did a bunch of instrumentals. The village t people opened, and the cop apparently is the one, like, I'm the original member. Here's one song I wrote He's long time ago. The original member?

The YMCA. Yeah. Because everybody else is, like, in their thirties or whatever and doing the thing. But he starts doing YMCA and in the navy and Macho Man. It's like, oh, these are all the same song.

Yeah. And it's at a point I'm ready for him to, like, grab a stool and light a cigarette and be like, you match me. Like, it was a comedy event of the season. I had a great time. Yeah.

And then, I watched for the very first time Bullworth Oh. With Warren Beatty Yeah. And Halle Berry. Uh-huh. I had never seen it.

Yeah. I fucking loved it. Yeah. It is such a great political satire that still strikes, like, nerves extremely closely. And, also, it's great in terms of so many alarm bells and just it was a really, really good movie.

I haven't had a good time watching a political type film or what have you in quite a while. I haven't. No. It was refreshing. I like it.

I remember when that came out. It was just some envelopes. That was like Halle Berry's first big thing. Oh. One of her early big things for sure.

What year what year is that? Ninety eight. Oh, shit. Okay. Yeah.

Yeah. I like it though. It's like Oliver Platt. Josh Malina who's in he's on Broadway right now. Leopoldstadt.

Oh, okay. He's do he does one of the best piece of physical comedy I've ever seen in a bathroom with he and Oliver Platt where he really last time I remember him. When I was dying. Oh my god. It's lovely.

Sounds so I meant It's been a while since I've seen the movie. That's what I'm watching. That old That old chestnut. Little nugget. That's where I'm at.

That is where you're at. Yeah. Well, if we have, no more we wanna talk about in terms of what we're watching, then we'll talk about what we did watch. Because we watched Earth Girls Are Easy. I can't do it backwards that fast.

DeLarentis Entertainment Group? Dino De Laurentiis. DeLarentis. Yeah. No longer exists, I imagine.

They went bankrupt. They've existed a couple different times. And Earthcurls LLC. Mhmm. They started LLC just for this movie.

Wow. They did. And it was distributed by Vestron Interesting. Which no longer exists. So 1988, it's rated PG.

Are you kidding me? I knew it. You are kidding me. It's PG? I have a question.

I wanna ask you guys a question. Before before I get too far into this, I wanna ask you all a question, and I I legitimately wanna ask you this. Did I watch a pornographic movie? I don't know. I was trying to be like, was I was I how There's a point.

My husband and I were watching it last night, and he, he we were watching it, and then he was like, I'm so sorry. I have to rewind this. When she's in her bikini sunbathing See. Yeah. You can see her pubic hair and her nipples.

Yeah. It's like the toilet of her body. This woman just threw. Did you make me watch a pornographic film? I think maybe.

It's certainly the horniest movie I've seen in a while. This is great to have gotten to watch a little bit of porn for at work. We should be able to watch a little bit. And you couldn't see the physical little spice on that, but it was nice. We already know the sub we know what the domain for this episode is.

We should be able to watch a little bit of porn. I I really wanted it to be immaculate vibes or non tainted vibes, like pure moods, but the dollar store version. I But here we are. The other the other question I have before I keep going So I make one now. If it wasn't a porn, shouldn't it have been?

Yeah. Great question. If if it were twenty minutes and three inches longer or twenty minutes longer I don't know what to think anymore. Oh my god. Three inches longer.

Wow. You know? No. But I do think, like, the the horniness in movies has gone way down in the last, you know, like, ten, twenty years. Yeah.

I know. And I've missed it a little bit. But then watching this, I was like, I I am out of practice. I don't know how to watch this movie. Yeah.

Yeah. I still had a pretty good time. Before I get Great time. Too far, I I skipped a little moment. Speaking of length, it's an hour and forty minutes.

But what was so as we're talking about it, Keiko, what was your history with this movie? Yes. And what what what would your rating have been the first viewing that you had many years ago, whatever, when you first saw it? Okay. So I'm pretty I loved this movie when I was growing up.

I think I watched this for the first time when I was in, like, middle school or, like like like, sixth grade, seventh grade. And I think it was just on Comedy Central. Mhmm. Mhmm. Like, you know you know?

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And I think what happened was I was in a time, I was a young woman growing into my body. And this movie came on, and I was so, like, sexually, like, confused by my attraction to, of course, Jeff Goldblum coming out of the the the pod.

Mhmm. It was weird to believe in god. Yes. I thought he was gonna be a fly. I don't know why.

I know. I it's so such a similar moment. And then also being so confused by Geena Davis, and just being like, what, like, wow. I would just love to just be in the middle of that sandwich, you know. Yeah.

And they were, like, married at the time. Yes. Which I just found out yesterday. That was just yes. Beautiful human beings.

They were married when they made this movie. It's hot. I know. Yep. And then also, like, there's so much that I should hate about, like, the the I'm a blonde and stuff like that.

But for some reason, like, me as a youngster watching this movie, I was, like, laughing my ass off. I thought it was so funny. I thought everyone was so was so good looking, and it was, like, me as a preteen having all of those hormones. Yeah. I felt like I was like, I finally found a movie that's matched what I'm feeling.

You know? Yeah. It was So yeah. It matched the level of horniness you were growing into. So it was like it was like a twelve thirteen year old.

Five was this like a five for you? Is that a touch? Yeah. At that time, I would say it was like a it was like a five horny cat ring ring. The love touch.

The love touch. The love touch. I love that cat. Paul? Oh, you took control this time, you piece of I control working.

Working. I'm controlling this vibrator. From a hood. So I was sat down when I was young by my mom when it was on cable. And she was like, this is hilarious.

Watch this. And I was Wow. Seven or eight years old or whatever. Or was I 27? 20 eight?

It's hard. I don't remember. It's so hard. But I was young. And she was insistent that I watch this because it was so funny and so on and so forth, and there was no problem with it.

Here's, like, a weird thing I've never admitted here. My mom was, like, that that weird mom that was, like, you can watch whatever you want if it's not too violent. Yeah. So I was able to watch a lot of shit that I probably should not have watched or most parents would consider irresponsible. Rated PG.

It's rated PG. But it's also rated PG. And it's also weird to be at a very young age and be like, should I be more turned on by a little mermaid or earth girls are easy or neither? Like, I didn't know. Yeah.

But I was still like All the above. Very confused by all these things as you were, Keiko. Maybe not by cartoons as much. No. No.

You know, it was more who framed Roger Rabbit. Why did I say we're a mermaid? What a fool. No. No.

No. The cartoons thing is real. My my my personally really quick side note were Trunks from Dragon Ball and then, Nightcrawler from, X Men. Those were my two. That's alright.

We're gonna talk offline for a while later. Try and stop looking at him like that. Yeah. But Jean Grey. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Especially, like, Phoenix mode. Yeah. But oh, boy.

Okay. We gotta get unhorny in Hold on. I gotta talk about my first experience. No. I didn't give my rating.

Oh, please do. But for me, I think partially because of the trauma and everything, it was like, this is fun and loud and I like soundtracks, but I'm a little traumatized by this. I don't know what to do or how to feel where it's like, a lot of, like, I have to go to the bathroom, get a snack, whatever, where it's like, I couldn't be around, like, my mom at a young age being, like, seeing what I was seeing and being, like, I don't understand this. I didn't wanna ask her these questions. I just wanted a way Yeah.

More than anything else. But it was like a three. Okay. Three sniffs. That makes sense.

Three sniffs. We'll get to it. Sure. Yeah. I I think I rented this movie from Blockbuster.

Mhmm. I think I did it rented it for, like, a sleepover. I remember Ironically or, like, earnestly? I I I didn't know what the movie was. So, like, I remember I think I think this is the same time I also rented Suburban And you loved In Living Color and were like, hey.

The cast of In Living Color is I remember seeing I just remember seeing the cover and being like, oh, cool. Aliens. Like, that that looks fun. Like Yeah. I don't know.

See aliens and metal thongs. Yes. And it was rated PG It was rated PG. So He almost said 13. Well, because There might have been an NC 17 thought of it.

I cannot believe that it's PG. I mean, this is literally a a porno for kids. Yeah. Yeah. Can we then I I I just Dad, if I wanted to watch a porno without watching a porno, the point of I guess I think kids should be able to watch a little bit of porno.

Oh, shit. Oh, man. I I wanna okay. We could all know that better than that. That's that's that's better than that.

That's the one that's all. Wait. I I said, what did what did I say to you? Something about, like, this movie is rated PG. Like, we'll talk later.

And Ben was like, oh, okay. Well, because I I don't remember if I actually ever fully watched it through. I remember turning it on putting it on, and I think I saw I like, when I watched it again, I remember moments. So I think it must have been a background movie and that, like, I was hanging out with friends. Yeah.

I mean, it was those Comedy Central movies where they would show like, they all be kinda became background movies. Yeah. You know? Agreed. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. There's no Kids in the Hall and then Yeah. Like, SNL or whatever, and then it would roll into movies. Yeah.

So I'd say it was probably, like, three sushi splats. That's good. And by the way, the the the the they they they're consist those those sushi splats stay on the wall the entire movie. Is that true? Oh, wow.

Is it really? Yeah. I didn't notice that. What if they what if they just shot it actually con consecutive order? Like, they really just shot the like, that would be kind of a Like, we need we need to shoot this in consecutive order.

Like, it needs to be done. It. Yeah. So, yeah, this was a budget of 10,000,000. Adjusted, that's 25,800,000.0.

Mid mid ish? Yeah. I mean, low now. That's I mean, this movie would go straight to Netflix, and no one would watch it now. Yeah.

I mean, some people a lot of people would watch it. I don't know why it's been. Movie. Opening weekend, 05/12/1989. It made 893,002,300,000.0 adjusted.

The final gross in North America was $3,900,000.010000000 adjusted, which is not great. Other releases this weekend, see no evil, hear no evil. Does anyone remember that? Richard Pryor, Gene Wilder. Oh.

It's it's like a rare it's one of those Oh. Like an insult. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Not my favorite of theirs. Do you think people have those two movies?

It was one movie actually. But No. See, no evil, hear, no evil, and Earth Girls are evil. Oh. Yeah.

I was those two. Partially laughing at my missing that. I didn't really cut that spike. But also, like Oh, man. We're gonna do good.

Could you imagine the total journeys you could have gone on with this movie? Earth Girls Hear No Evil. I can't wait to go see those those two movies. I love Hear No horror stories. Hear no hero heroes.

Weekend top five, See No Evil, Hear No Evil, Field of Dreams Oh. Canine, Pet Sematary Oh. Those are two different movies. Just one commas. Yeah.

And Major League. Oh, okay. I love Major League. I love Major League. I love Field Of Dreams.

I guess there's a lot of baseball in the water. Baseball, animals. Do we still do we still have a team? Yeah. We've got uniforms and everything.

It's really great. One of the all time deliveries. What did he say? He's bringing up Dorn. Dorn is o for the century against this guy, but he has several foul tips.

Mister Belvedere. Films of note from this year. Wow. There's a lot. Nine and a half weeks.

Oh. Wait. This is that's not right. This is that's 1999. Right?

Nine and a half weeks, Eyes Wide Shut, Swordfish. Wait. Oh, yeah. These are just other horny movies. Oh.

Oh. Swordfish was super horny. Yeah. Horny movies. Eyes Wide Shut.

That movie was, like, I was, like that one actually, I was, like, wasn't prepared. Yeah. Genuinely wasn't prepared. I I watched Can I ask a quick question? Question?

Yeah. Have you ever watched a movie and been immediately aroused by it? All the time. Yeah. Yeah.

Okay. All the time. Several. So there's a movie that I don't like. It's called American Hustle.

I did not like that movie. Oh, yeah. Yeah. But the movie made me very horny. Oh, and and you didn't like it.

I did not like it. That's interesting. If a movie gets me, like, horny enough, I I I'll, like, I'll be, like, well, I enjoy it. You know? Like, obviously, part of me enjoy it.

So I give it, like I think I enjoyed Amy Adams in it, which is what brought me to that point. But Oh, I'm seeing you're typed out. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. There's an overlap with your wife a little bit.

I think kids should watch it. There should be a watch a little bit more. We're providing them with so many avenues to find them. South Florida or whatever. Look Who's Talking was this year.

Sea of Love, When Harry Met Sally, Harlem Nights, Working Girl, Sex Lives and Videotape, and the winner of the Time magazine award for generational achievement in rom com filmmaking, Road House. Oh. You bet your ass miho. It's the second this is the second movie we've done in a row of 89. As long as we keep talking about Road House.

Well, Heather's was 89 too. Right? Yeah. We just did Heather's. Sure.

That's true. Heather's is great. Yeah. Oh, okay. Do you know how you'd rate that?

Do you remember Keiko? You know, I didn't watch Heathers. I until I watched Heathers the first time, like, two, three years ago. Yeah. And?

I loved it. I did too. It's like a five star movie for me. I thought it was incredible. I liked it too.

And then I saw the musical, and I was like, there's no way I'm gonna like this musical. And I loved it. Oh, really? It's amazing. I loved it.

Yeah. I was like, oh, it was nice to meet this whole thing. I would love to see the musical. It's good. I'd be very curious.

The music's great. Yeah. It's hot. It's great. Yeah.

Ben, it must be exhausting always rooting for the antihero when you never should have been rooting for him in the first place. Never should have rooting for Christian because I I gave it three and a half mineral water mineral mineral waters. You never should have been rooting for Christian Slater. Christian Slater. Just too much Jack Nicholson in there.

Do a Jack Nicholson. It's but they they're so similar. They're just ones just like Young and Hotter. Well, Jack Nicholson was the one's Young and Hot. No.

Never. He grew out he came out of the womb just like Have you seen one flew over the cuckoo's nest? Yeah. He's like 50 there. Right?

He's he's always been at least like a 45. It's like I've seen the last D's. Is there a Jack Nicholson line? There's a Wolf No. There's a there's a Wilford Brimley line.

Yeah. And a Morgan Freeman line. What did we establish? It was the, oh. Oh.

Rejor Bill Johnson. Rejor Bill Johnson. We're like, that man's always been, like, 47 years old. The dad from Family Matters, by the way. He's always also a cop.

He's, like, always a cop, and he's always older. Yeah. There's an episode of Family Matters in the, closing credits where uncle Phil, the actor, who played uncle Phil anyway, shows up, and it was, like, a surprise to Reginald VelJohnson. And it's one of the wonderful It's amazing. Things you'll ever see.

Yeah. Because Reginald VelJohnson was genuinely surprised, and they hug and yada yada. It's really wonderful. I don't know why. I was like, everyone needs to know.

Top five films from this year, domestic, Batman, Indiana Jones and the Last Crusade Oh, shit. Lethal Weapon two Okay. The superior Lethal Weapon, Rain Man, Honey, I Shrump the Kids. I had to. We're gonna watch Wait.

That's wrong. That's that's the other one. You're thinking of, Pacino. Yeah. When Pacino in Central Florida.

Could you imagine? I was thinking. I was like, you might be I just yelled the wrong thing. Maybe this water burn baby. Can you imagine Dustin Hoffman be like, hua.

Who are you? I, what? You know what? I really stand by my conviction to it. I don't stand by what I did, but I stand by how much I Committed.

Like, confident. You committed to it. We won't cut it. No. No.

I want them to know. I want the public to know. Yeah. They should know. It's important revisionist history.

Earth Girls Are Easy finished a 29 in the year. So better than Heather's. Wow. Is that true? It is.

Wow. Heather's finished outside of the top 200. Do you think it's star power? Because I mean, like, this point, Geena Davis, Jeff Goldblum, they're married. They're hot.

Right? They're The Fly. Which had done very well Yeah. Which had done very well. Is this post Beetlejuice?

Yeah. I don't know. Yeah. This is post Eighty eight. It did Yeah.

Oh. Beetlejuice was '87 or '86. We know. Okay. Okay.

Yeah. Because Well, yeah. There is star power now. Batman now, and everyone was like, Beetlejuice is Batman? What the fuck are we doing?

Yeah. No. Yeah. Good point. Which is funny, though, because, like, Gina Davis I've watched Beetlejuice so many times in my entire life.

We talked about this in the last episode. And in that movie, when I was a kid, I was like, Renato, no rider was the hottest thing. Totally. I never thought Geena Davis was super hot. Oh my god.

You're a crazy But but look at Beetle have you seen Beetlejuice? Like, they put her in, like they don't put her in, like, hot like, they Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

She's not much more. Yeah. Sure. And then watching this, I was like, oh my god. Gina Davis is one of the most beautiful women I've ever seen.

Do you know that Gina Davis story about how she was, like, she, like, got a job at at a at a clothing store, because they, like there were mannequins in the window. Do you guys have you heard this before? Okay. Okay. Before she was an actress, I've read this in, like, multiple things.

Gina Davis would, like, showed up at this, like, clothing store. She needed a job. And so there was, like, a mannequin in the window, and she just, like, put on some clothes and stood out in the window. And it drew a crowd. And so they just hired her to keep just, like, standing in the window with their clothes on.

And, like, that she just, like, created that job for you know, she's really just an entrepreneur. Isn't isn't that basically just what, Abercrombie ended up doing? Yes. I hear that. Do we get Gina Davis?

Star, like Abercrombie's, like, their whole, like, business That's what they were inspired by? Wow. I was I'm here to tell you. I was seeing a girl in high school who worked there, and the only reason she worked there is because she Was her name Ashley? Her name was Shannon.

Shannon. It was Heather. Yeah. But she was walking by and, like, going in the store and some dude was like, hey. Has anyone ever been here?

Here? Yeah. It was like I I worked there. I stood out front. I was that guy.

Did you have washboard abs? I was really fit at a point in life. Were you bathed in cologne? I was really, depressed. Yeah.

Cool. Letterbox average of this movie is, 3.1. By letterboxed, I'm a letterboxed, at RunDMC. Oh, funny. I'm a Paul x Badley.

Yeah. We follow each other. We've been doing that for a long time. Oh, wow. My manager manages my letterboxed.

I don't know what they do. You can see what movies I watched. Do you have Letterboxd? I don't know what you're talking about. It's a really cool app.

It's not a sponsor, but it's just like it's like a social media app where you can just post what movie you watched. And you can you're happy you can put a ranking if you want. You can put a review if you want. You don't have to. You can just say I watched this movie.

Wow. But it's They should sponsor you because I was like, the way you just said that right now, I was like, I should really get a letterbox. It's cool. Yeah. Why I enjoy seeing my friends like, I I like to go and see what movies they've seen.

I like to see what reviews they write. It's What do I do, Ben? Paul does not value his time, so he watches Pornography for children. For this case, yes. In this case I watch this movie five times.

I watch this movie five times. Wow. Sysco and Ebert split. Ebert up, Sysco down. Wow.

Ebert. Yes. Yeah. Yes, baby. Right.

Tomatoes, 68%. Metacritic, 66. IMDB, five point four out of 10. I'm gonna now throw it to Paul. He's gonna talk about people.

Huge mistake. The director was Julian Temple. It's this big all I mean, 1989, Ghostbusters two, Vigo the Butch. Wait. He directed wait.

Nope. But he convinced me he directed a a movie called Vigo, and I can't help but just go off about Ghostbusters two, apparently. A movie called Pandemonium and about a thousand muse music videos like Depeche Mode, David Bowie, McCartney, and Enigma Return to Innocence. Yes. My pure roots people join me.

I don't wanna sing it because I feel like it's very serious. Yeah. Yeah. I don't know either. Don't even think it.

I already thought that. The writer writer was Julie Brown, Charlie Coffey. They, kinda worked as a writing team. It was Quantum Leap, Clueless the TV show, Camp Rock from television, and, Terrence e McNally, who apparently just wrote this. Wait.

Julie Brown co wrote this movie? Yeah. Oh, shit. I think primarily her baby, her concept from what I could see. Oh.

The director of photography was Oliver Stapleton who did The Grifters. Has anyone seen that movie? John Cusack and Angelica Houston. Yes. Very interesting ending.

Yes. Very fascinating kind of, like, noir film. Give it a look if you're into weird movies, people. Cider House Rules Yes. It does.

And The Proposal. Okay. Music was the four time Grammy winner, Nile Rogers, who did Coming to America, Alphabet City, and Roll Bounce. Producers were Tony Garnett, rest in peace, prostitute, which, I mean, sounds good based on title. I'm interested.

Yeah. I I've worked on this thing about it that's the prostitute I'm in. This guy knows what he's doing. He knows his wheelhouse. Yeah.

Deep in the Heart, Fat Man and Little Boy, which was a Paul Newman movie about the, atomic bomb also with John Cusack. Wow. I immediately was thinking Fat Man Little Coat from Different. Different Paul. Different Paul.

Little. So pretty good. So sorry. So good. Okay.

Dino De Laurentiis, Blue Velvet, Evil Dead two, Bill and Ted's Excellent Adventure. His company. Right? Yep. Was a big fan, big champion for independent film in the especially eighties and nineties.

Thank you so much, autocorrect. Gene Davis, also known as fucking Gina Davis. Gina Davis was Valerie, The Fly, Thelma and Louise, The Long Kiss Goodnight. Anybody who hasn't seen that movie. I I wanna I wanna prop up Long Kiss Goodnight and Gina Davis' ability as a fucking action star.

God bless her and lasagna is the best breakfast Moving on. This movie also starred Jeff Goldblum as Mac, the fly. The normal name one. AB Goes Down, Independence Day. The normal one.

Whatever. By the way, I just want everyone to know when you sit down use my guest bathroom in my home Show her. I've seen it. Really? There is a photo of Jeff Goldblum giving you the do it quiet.

I don't know if you follow the account Do it quiet. The same photo of Jeff Goldblum every day. No. I don't. But it's a good account.

I'm interested. I'll follow that. I'm very interested in that. It just posts the same photo of Jeff Goldblum every day. Also Jurassic Park.

Love that. That you do have, dinosaurs in your, dinosaur park. Right? Life, finds a way. I really hate that man.

Jim or James, Carrie, Whiplock, Once Bitten, Rubberface, and Eternal Sunshine of the Spotless Mind. Damon Wayans Wait. Those are crazy pulls. Like, they're not cute. Those are Ace Ventura or, like, the mask of, like The Truman Show.

Truman Show. I mean, Eternal Sunshine's a top Capitol. Like, I was, like, there was, like, a level of disdain being, like, and Eternal Sunshine is fine. So there's that judgment. Yeah.

What a little bit. Perfect movie. Damon Wayans, Azibo, Blankman, Bulletproof, Major Pain. Any I should have added, Mo Money. And almost Robin in the Batman in the Batman.

Is that true? His little brother, Marlon. Was it Marlon? Marlon was almost. Oh.

Oh. Right. You're right. Right. Yeah.

He was a he was Wait. One more time? Marlon Wayans? No. The other thing.

Robin? No. About me. I'm your Paul, you're right. Say it one more time.

Please. Hey. I didn't hear him say it the first time. Yeah. You're right.

Yes. Hi. So let's look casually. Thank you. Tim Burton's next film, a Batman movie, he had he originally mapped it out for Marlon Wayans to be in the sequel.

Right. And then that got cut. And then in his his third movie that he was conceptualizing, he had him as Robin. Wow. And then we got What's what's Marlon?

For COD. What's Marlon's like I don't know if they're actually twins, but his brother Sean? Sean. Sean was to me always the star. Marlon was over was too much.

That's just a hot take. I'm a big don't be a menace fan all the way around. I don't know. Yeah. I watched that television show on the WB Mhmm.

For a point in time. We're brothers. They were running a hotel. Yeah. I love that show.

It was pretty fun. Julie Brown is candy. Police Academy two, whatever that subtitle was. Shakes the Clown with Bobcat. Bobcat Gold three.

And A Goofy Movie. Okay, Julie. When I think of Bobcat Goldring, I think of one episode of Are You Afraid of the Dark where he was the gremlin that stole your, like, sock beard, like, the left sock. As long as we're staying on gremlins, I'm good. He lived he lived under the bed.

There's gremlins everywhere. They steal episodes? They steal socks? Yeah. They're on the wing of the plane.

They're still pouring. It's there. Look at it. I'm not crazy. Michael McKean is Woody.

Oh my god. Michael McKean. My god. Michael McKean is so good. Planes, trains, and automobiles.

Charles Rocket, rest in peace, is Ted, Dumb and Dumber, Dances with Wolves, Titan AE. Larry Linville, rest in peace. Doctor Bob, School Spirit Chudu, blue movies, and a TV resume that would make Ted dance and blush. It's crazy going through that. That.

Yeah. I looked it up. Yeah. And awards and nominations. This was nominated for best cinematography.

Well deserved. Well shot movie. From what? Oliver Stapleton from the Independent Spirit Awards. Okay.

Yeah. We do mention. We So this is, like, really considered, like, an indie film. Yeah. I think De Laurentiis was an indie.

It's actually, like, rad. Yeah. I I think a lot of good work was put in here personally. I Yeah. Yes.

We mentioned this fun fact, Geena Davis Gold Jeff Goldblum married during production. The production number, because I'm a blonde, was shot and inserted into the movie during postproduction to compensate for other scenes that were deleted. Interesting. And I actually find that, like, very satirical and, like, tongue in cheek. It's the best song.

It is really touching. I forgot. We'll get into this. I didn't I didn't remember this was a musical. Me neither.

I completely forgot it was a musical. Yeah. It is a soundtrack movie slash musical fully. But it does explain driven. It does explain, like, it just feels like there's so much energy getting to the beach, and then, like, it's they're not at the beach almost at all.

Yeah. For, like, three minutes of the movie. Almost at all. Yeah. And so that explains they cut all that in places.

And it's a beautiful disaster. It sucks. Their beach trip. Much of the language that the alien speak is actually just dialogue being read backwards, which as an adult, I was like, okay. This is where this is where David Lynch got it.

Yeah. He stole he stole his idea. That's the language in Twin Peaks. You had the same I always thought he was a hack. You had the same dream with the, backwards talking girl with the flaming cards?

Yeah. There it is. There it is. That's our Simpsons reference. So, Michael McKean was originally, cast as doctor Ted Gallagher, and Charles Rocket was originally cast as Woody.

They've swapped roles. Oh, woah. That's crazy. This premiered in Toronto in September. Crazy.

It is. That's, like, wild. Mhmm. When you think of, like, the difference of those characters and they were cast and they were like, we actually screwed up. You guys should switch.

I think either could do either and neither could do neither, but either could do either. At what point in the process do you think he did a table read? I don't know. I wonder. I'm like, I can't imagine.

I would if I ever had the chance to ask Michael McKean, I would. Yeah. If I ever had a chance to hang out with Michael McKean, that'd be great. Yeah. That's a question I'd I'd love an answer to that he would be question.

He would I bet he would be delighted that out of all of his career, we would ask him about Earth Girls are easy, like, in-depth questions. This had to be fun. This had to be so fun to make. You feel it through Yeah. The movie.

The soul it has that AI could never duplicate. Oh. And this premiered in Toronto That did. In September of eighty eight and was originally scheduled for US theaters in February of eighty nine and then finally debuted in '89 of May of eighty nine. I'm gonna do a lot of editing of myself in this one, more than usual, which is usually already a lot.

Yeah. A lot of legal hang ups and stuff with the rights of the film, kinda kept delaying release. Stage readings of a possible stage version featuring Kristen Chenoweth premiered on 09/16/2001. And you can imagine that this did not I actually could see I meet you. I saw that on the first things we were talking about were just like see this actually being successful.

Because Xanadu has done great. Yeah. I kind of, like, made it fun as well. Reread the date. Oh, 09/16/2001.

That's why I didn't do well. It's not because it wasn't good. Keiko, you were saying about Xanadu. I'm sorry. It it was more just the fate of the date.

No. You're so right. No. We were just saying, like, Xanadu is a is a movie that's, like, it's, like, kind of in the same, like Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, camera. Yeah. It it, like, didn't do great. Yeah.

But in the in, like, when they made it into a stage musical, they comment on the fact that it's, like, not a great muse not a great movie almost constantly. Yeah. And so, therefore, they're able to, like, elevate it. Like, if you were to make this into a real stage musical, you would have to rewrite all of the music, except for because I'm a blonde. Yeah.

There would probably be a whole another they'd make so much many more songs. Yes. Many much more songs. But but, like, the songs that exist are Yeah. Not great.

Yeah. And and I think it could crash. Yeah. I actually think it could too. I would be very interested to see this Yeah.

Yeah. Personally. Alright. Angeline, who appears in a brief cameo as the woman in the pink Corvette, was declared the patron saint of Los Angeles by directing director Julian Temple at I mean, not not not that she has fake boobs. Is that a fake chest plate?

What do you mean? I don't know if she's wearing, like, a plastic chest plate or something. No. No. No.

No. I think that no. That woman is definitely wearing whatever boobs that she wears in her life. Okay. But I don't know what that woman's deal is.

And that I wanna know what the Fascinating. Because you say you're saying her name is I know exactly who you're talking about. You're talking about that woman who's, like, super, like, powdery pale Yeah. At the gas station Yeah. Yes.

And is really skinny and has those giant boobs. Yeah. Yes. And I thought when I was watching it, I was like, she might be a young person, but I was like, if someone told me just the amount of makeup that I sent last night, I was like, if someone told me this woman is 60 years old, I would believe it. She seemed like she was at a total recall.

What is my what's her what's going on? What's her deal? So outside of the three boobs, my understanding is that she got, like, a billboard for herself in the eighties that was just like, Angeline, and made herself mildly famous. I don't know anything about her really. Herself?

Like, just like, the whole Just like personality. I've been in Hollywood I've been in Hollywood and seen people's billboards for their OnlyFans accounts. Wait. Really? Right.

Yep. Same. Shit. So kinda good on OnlyFans. Maybe you need to get OnlyFans.

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Look it up. So much like this episode will go through, this film underwent more than five months of postproduction tinkering including the removal, addition, removal, reedition, re removal, removal, reshoots, removals, re additions, additions, numerous scenes, many things. Wow. That makes sense. It went through all the straws.

Crazy. Alright. Yep. Keiko, you're a writer. Fun.

Yeah. What's the log line of this movie? Okay. Okay. Okay.

Okay. Okay. This is my take. Okay. A hairdresser from the valley has to oh, it's like oh, okay.

No. And I'm gonna re I'm gonna redo this. Okay. After an alien spaceship lands in her pool, a hairdresser from the valley has to decide whether she wants a life with these aliens or a life with her fiance. I actually think that's better.

This happened with other Asians too. I actually like the reverse order of, like, the exciting part happens first. Aliens crash land. Yes. Start with that.

But also proposing the the conundrum of the movie as opposed so this is what the log line is. Okay. A Southern Californian girl befriends three furry aliens after the spaceship lands in her swimming pool. I don't feel like it Show conflicts. Yeah.

That doesn't introduce the conflict. Nope. Come on. Do you think furries like this movie, though? Yeah.

Love Well, I don't know. Woah. They have to They have to have yeah. They have to get rid of their furry ness. Yeah.

It's actually very anti furry. Man, fuck this movie. Oh, you're okay. Well, we're gonna take a we're gonna take a quick break so we can Paul Paul can take a moment. I think we're brought to you by pornography.

And like Apparently a reference to I think you should leave, we love you, Tim Robinson. I know. Richard said. So many. We've been giving him so much.

Yeah. But this is brought to you by pornography. You know, consensual, well made, healthy. My reason for living. Pornography.

Mhmm. Yeah. I'm fine. You're good. Let's take a quick break.

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Hi. Are you enjoying this episode? This special and super sensual episode of the Review Review? Then press the magic button to subscribe like you do so good. If you like to watch, you can also follow us on Instagram at review x two podcast and letterboxed at run b m c and at paulax badly.

The only question is how badly the January. Follow and find out. Now back to the program. Tomorrow, love. Fake MC that comes out, and he has a British accent, and he's just like, alright.

Let let and, like and then he just, like, makes fun of the women in the audience. And he and he at one point, he says, like, you look like you're fucking dry. And he's like, you're dry whore. He kept apparently just yelling, like, dry hole at this woman. And every and like, the women are all, like, we thought we were coming here for, like, a really fun time that was, like, really sexy.

And instead, like, everyone feels, like, disgusting. Like, he's just, like and then he's, like, turning on the audience, and he's, like, not saying fuck you, but basically, fuck you. And and then, the woman that comes that and then the woman that comes that he calls dry hole, and he gets sick. He's trying like yelling at her dry hole, dry hole, dry hole. She's the actual and they think that she's on the art.

She's the actual MC of the show, and she's like Spoilers. Hold on. This isn't what I came here for. And she's, like, so good that everyone really believed that she was a random random audience member. Yeah.

And then the show really starts. And, like, all these, like, stereotypes of like men and like like police uniforms and all that shit goes away and then just like Yeah. Hot men and like cheese and a guitar and just like just they they were like, what was the most incredible theatrical experience? That sounds awesome. I feel like I wanna see that.

I know. We all gotta go see Magic Mike. Yeah. I'm on board. Magic Mike, you know, similar to porn.

Uh-huh. At least Magic and Yeah. It knows its audience. I'm not sure what who the audience is. I can't wait for the They don't.

None of the filmmakers have any idea. The the the advertisement the advertisement everyone just listened to was, was for porn for children. Which is free. Just like in general. Like this program.

Yeah. You should watch it. Porn is free. But, like, this program is also free. And let's be honest, you're a little turned on.

Mhmm. You're a little turned on. What if we do this? Hey. Are you turned on?

The ASMR people. Can we take another break? You laughed so loud. Your car ran away. If you get to do that, I get to do that, and it's so so much worse than you can possibly imagine.

Don't. Don't. So at the beginning of this movie Hope we will The show will be this program will be canceled. Let's start at the tap. We just watched this movie.

What's our current Let's do that. Ratings. Current ratings Now that we've just watched to choose the order of who gets to share their current Now that we've seen it Yes. I'm gonna go down this line. K.

Okay. I sniffed it. I sniffed it pretty good. Yeah. Pretty thorough.

Four times. Four out of five. Nice. Nice. That's where I'm at.

I I think this movie is really solid, especially when I consider that it is an independent movie. Yeah. Costumes are good. Music is good. Yeah.

Mixed media shit is good. Yeah. Lighting is good. Like, everything about the movie is pretty good. And Keiko, to your point, movie is kind of delightfully horny.

Pushes the envelope at a few points that it maybe is like Mhmm. But either way, it's four sniffs for me. I I think it's really solid. I would not show this to a nine or 10 year old like me or, maybe even some 40 year olds depending. But If they were 40 year old virgins.

Yeah. Yeah. Like me? Yeah. Yeah.

I I I honestly went into it going, okay. I haven't seen, like, three star I don't remember this much as a kid. And then I just got sucked in. And I was I was genuinely And you did. I was gen I had genuinely entertained.

Excited watching it. I mean, I will say, Geena Davis, I was reminded of what a babe. What a babe. Also, Jim Carrey, like, handsome So cute. What a babe.

Damon Wayans, very handsome. Also, baby. All of them. I mean I mean, everyone knows Jeff Goldblum just is a sexual predator. When he comes out of that.

What? I mean, I don't mean that in a bad way. No. No. No.

I don't mean that in a bad way. I mean, like We don't mean that. Like like predator as in, like He's the predator of sexual beings. Yeah. Like, he's the alpha and the alpha.

He's the alpha. Yeah. We all know that. Every word he says trying to justify for you. He's just so dripping with sex.

It doesn't matter what movie he's in. You know? But but he's like this weird predator where instead of preying on you, you co you go to him. Yeah. Yes.

He's like a Venus flytrap. Yeah. It doesn't feel like a fuck boy thing. It does feel a little like a fly, not a Venus fly trap. Yeah.

A little bridal flash. Yeah. But also, like, he's there's he's just so fascinating. Hell yeah. He's, like, charming.

He's engaging. Like, nothing feels manipulative or predatory Yeah. For me. Has he cut Everything's, like, on the level in this movie. It's horny as shit, but it's very upfront about how it feels.

Okay. What's the score? What's the score? Four sushi splats. Squares.

Yeah. Good yeah. Hey. Good score. Thanks, bro.

You know, It's Illuminati time. When I was younger, I thought I thought this was a five five out of five. Yeah. Going into it again, I was like These are dumb. I was like, oh, no.

This is this is gonna be really low. Yeah. And instead, the star it was, like, so entertaining. Like, the one thing I ask of anything is for it to just be entertaining. Right.

That's the job of the film. Damn, it entertained me. The one one thing we'll we'll get into is just, like, the white you know, you remember that movie White Stripes? Yep. That Bill Murray movie?

Where, like, at the no one remembers the third act. Stripes? Stripes. I'm so sorry. Stripes.

So it's okay. I was like, oh. Yes. Yes. Yes.

What? Oh, yes. Stripes. But no one remembers the third act of Stripes because, like, we all turned it off after it got together. A lot of it's pretty nice.

And then, like, there's, like, a whole part where they, like, go into war, and no one I never watched that part. If there's a part that feels like that in the movie where I just kinda, like, turn it off a little where I, like, stop paying attention, like, a little bit. And so for that, I have to not give it five stars. So for that, I'll give it four star for four I'll give it four bowling balls into a very expensive computer. We are we are in the trifecta.

We are in the factory. We're in the Illuminati, y'all. Oh my god. Here we go. So the top of this movie, we see what what is the first image we see?

It's the space great mixed media kind of opening of, like, animation with physical with With very clearly practical. I mean, it must be. You very clearly see the strings that are holding Jeff Goldblum up when he's in that. I did not. I did not.

Maybe it's just the clarity on my LG OLED. Oh. Yes. But I could see this I could very clearly see this tree. I was like, am I supposed to see those?

What's happening? Can I tell you can I say one thing? Even before we see Jeff Goldblum, there's the miniature of the spaceship, and then there's a outer space fart sound. Yes. Oh, yeah.

But it's, like, kind of outs outer space, and I was, like, that's the movie. It's telling you right up front. It's, like, hey, you guys. We're not being serious. Yeah.

This is shit. This is what I'm talking about. Show you Jeff Goldblum, but, like, we just want want you to know before you see Jeff Goldblum, like, we're just joking. Yeah. This is a big goof.

Get yeah. Get a big goofin or a white on. Everyone's goofin. Everyone's goofin around. It's a big goof.

We're we all goofin with hard ons. And white ons. Just the whole deal. Just get wet, get hard, and goof around. Yeah.

And have a good time. Yeah. Don't get hairy though. Well No. Yeah.

There's never really anti hair anti furry message. Anti body hair. Yeah. Mhmm. Just like the porn industry.

It's just my little Now, but not in the seventies. Yeah. Right. We should be able to watch a little bit of porn. Yeah.

Which the seventies porn industry is what sponsored this episode because we appreciate it. Has a bush. Yep. Yeah. It sure damn does.

And, like, that's the thing. Like, my first thought is, wow. These guys are horny. Yeah. Amazing.

Jim Carrey Jim Carrey's one what's his name? Warp what what Whiplock. Whiplock. He's the one that, like, wants he needs he says right away, like, I need a woman. Right?

That's the only kind of his first line. The aliens also, like, really also like, the alien what aliens are visually interested in in a woman is, like and the what human matter are interested in a woman are, if that that Venn diagram is just a circle. Yeah. They are It's all Gina Davis. Same it's just Gina Davis.

It's hot hot girls. It's like, you know. Yep. It's it's like MudWise around ladies or whatever. They just want circles.

Yep. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Mathematically, it makes sense.

You know, actually, when you say it like that, it makes sense. Yeah. Yeah. So we see them and they they see, like, they get a, like, a, like, a signal signal from Earth and they see Earth they see bald bald these bald girls. Yeah.

Which they apparently like. They, like, whatever. They don't give a shit. No. Yeah.

I get it. They just wanna fuck. Who are they? Where are they coming from? Well, it's like It doesn't matter.

This is, like, we get the animated opening with the song, right, the original song. And that's where it hits me where it's like, oh, shit. This is like a soundtrack musical movie. I totally forgot about that. More like heavy metal than anything else.

Wow. If anybody remembers the movie heavy metal, the animated super horny music. You were calling the music heavy metal. I was like, you're that is an insane thing. Yeah.

South Park people at all? Yeah. Sure. My daughter's awesome boobage when everybody's, like, junking out on the cat spray and they go to this dreamland that is supposed to be evocative of the animated film heavy metal with Rick Moranis and John Candy Oh, wow. And all sorts of folks and has music from Sammy Sammy Hagar and shit.

And it's a super fucking horny movie. And South Park lampoons it with my daughter's huge tits. I've never seen it. Sorry. Wow.

Okay. I figured that was the reference point. But this movie, Earth Girls Are Easy, and Heavy Metal are the horniest movies. And Heavy Metal, I think, is r, and I feel is a little bit more approachable. This is a PG we have to keep coming back to this.

Yeah. I know. It's it's crazy. Credits. Danny Davis is basically naked in the this entire movie.

So many times. And a screenwriter, I'm gonna go into the structure here. Sure. There's two real inciting incidents actually. Like, one is, Geena Davis catches her fiance about to cheat on her.

Right. In my brain, I always remember this as this is a guy that's, like, cheating on her, and then she finds out. Yeah. But they make a point to say early in the movie that he's, like, he's, like, and then what happened with that girl? And he's, like, nothing, man.

I'm getting married in two weeks. Like, he literally, like It is strange. It would be so much easier to just make him gasp. Yes. And it's You know how, like, in a Like full on.

Wedding singer, how the the fiance is just a straight up cheating asshole? About that movie so many times when I watch this. But, like, this guy is, like, he wants he's he's, like, he wants to explode. And then he, like, he has this girl that he comes over, and he wants and it's He never does anything with her. Going to.

Yes. He was he was down he was deemed cheap. Wait. Actually, we don't know. But he but he invited her over the shirt.

I don't know. Come on. But, like, but, like, the doctor love make excuses for him, Keiko. You're right. So he's no good.

Doctor love. Was he wearing a giant, stethoscope? It looked almost like a clown stethoscope. By the way, did anyone else yell at their TV, like, don't listen to him. He's the bad guy from Dumb and Dumber.

Okay. I did that. I had my IMDB up, and I was like, oh, that's right. That's right. That's We all also really quick, the opening to this of, like, the of the first incident instead of her finding out that, like, he is trying to cheat on her is the same exact moment as the opening of New Girl where Oh, wow.

Yeah. It is. She's just it's the exact same thing where it's just like, here I am. And then it's like, there's another girl there. Yep.

Yeah. Who's that girl? It's the other girl. It's Jess. Well, and, like, it we get the makeover at the salon too right before that, which is like musical number.

Again, like, movie is a total musical brand new girl. Thank you. I was I just kept thinking of Grace. Okay, song. Yeah.

Sure. It's the tune of song. Yeah. Yep. Tune is similar.

By the way, eat me like a cookie when exploding out of the closet into another setting. She screams eat me like a cookie. Again, sometimes when you watch what dreams may come with the headphones and subtitles on, you hear extras that are faces in the grounds or whatever it may be say, it hasn't been a good day. My back. Whatever.

In this case, it was eat me like a cookie. So before we get too far, he is engaged to her Mhmm. But he does not want to have have sex with her. With Gina Davis. Yeah.

With Gina Davis. He does not wanna have sex with her. I and so, like Gina Davis wants to get real. It it wasn't I will not falling off, and I'm falling off. Fuck you, Ted.

It wasn't even, like, established that, like Wow. He was a bad cup like, a day or so. Like, he's not feeling it. It was like, no. They haven't had sex for two weeks or something, which is He has two weeks.

Yep. Which is not crazy. But Great. Wow. You're busy.

I'll cut that for you. No. But But, also No. Not also Not crazy. But, also, it seems like the the, like, the the core problem is that she wants to like, if your partner is like, I need to be railed at one point, you're like, yeah.

Okay. Let's do this. Right? Hit me like a Burlington Northern, my dog. Yeah.

Yeah. Like, get after it. But I she's trying everything too. I like that this movie is not only, the concept and apparently head writer is a lady. Yeah.

And it's told from the perspective of a lady. Yeah. Female forward. She wants to fuck. And ladies are horny.

Yes. It's like it was cool to learn that. Everybody in this movie is horny. To watch this movie and I got to learn. Yes.

And that was great. When she sets up so the moment where she catches him cheating, but, like, she sets up all this stuff. She has, like, the champagne. She has the sushi. She changed what she what she looks like.

But she also has a little play They can feel like she's cheating. Whole play to hot dogs with with with, She does not have that. We're all looking for the guy who did this. Yes. Yes.

Yes. Yes. I am going in my Jeff Goldblum. They she has, like, a plate of hot dogs, like, they're cut up with toothpicks in them that's never talked about. She never says in the book, like, oh oh, and have the hot dogs ready.

No. They're just there and they're never mentioned. This guy has a real problem when people don't eat food in movies. Yeah. It's a real problem.

I mean, I I I get that. Brought this up before. My my least favorite trope is, like, I made you this big breakfast, and they have, like, two lines and then someone walks out the door. Yeah. And I'm like, go fuck yourself.

Yeah. For real. I hate it. Well, I was just gonna say, okay. So then she catches him, and then he says what I think is the theme of this whole movie.

And I was actually, like, delighted as a screen reader to watch this and be like because I was like, oh my god. Literally theme stated. He says, you Ted says, you can't expect me to be more evolved than I really am. Oh, yeah. Smash cut two, aliens.

More evolved than you motherfucker. Crash land into her pool. I'm If I can't have an evolved you, then I will literally find a more evolved being. You literally plucked that out of my mind. Like, my my next point was, like, oh, wow.

Another song already. Like, worship the ground you walk on or whatever. And then it get like, what you just said where it's like, her prayers are essentially, like, answered in whatever way. But and part of it outside of the if the evolved aspect seems to be just being, like, kind of, like, fluid and adventurous and interested. Because Whiplock and Zevo are not more evolved.

No. They're just, like, no. It's full on. They're more frat boys. Yeah.

They're at the rank that they're at for reason. But Mac is, like, emotionally in tune with himself. Yeah. And which is which is what I think is so sexy. That's why he can't play that piano.

Yeah. That's him. It's him. It is Jeff Goldblum. Yeah.

For sure. You know, he, like, plays a jazz show here in LA. He does. I actually posted something where, on our Instagram where he is the pianist with the Mildred Snitzer Orchestra, and he tours and does This is our first culture and experience. Damn.

Yeah. Which is like I'm I love this song. Carrie. God. He plays with, like, Peter Weller, who is, like, a master jazz trumpeter.

Oh, man. Yeah. Very into it. Okay. So so seventeen minutes in, there's this I can't even remember what song it is, but Gina Davis says after she finds out that her fiance is, like, wanting to tune on her, she destroys the house.

Yeah. Yep. Oh, that's the ground I worship the ground you walk You Wagon. It's great. And the flashbacks She just tries out, and there's all these flashbacks.

And it's seventeen minutes in. And I remember my husband was like he was like, well, she's not even singing. And I said, honey Who cares? In West Side Story, Natalie Wood is not singing. And I was like, I just want you to know justification.

Way to go. He said, I want you to know in your little notes that seventeen minutes in, you compared Earth Girls Are Easy to West Side Story. Fine. Very fair. Less races.

Yes. Perfect. Less races. Yeah. Perfect.

Like, everyone's kind to, accept Ted or whatever, but, like, people are kind to animals. The aliens are immediately, like, kind to animals or wannabe. So when she she calls to have him well, no. Sorry. Sorry.

We're getting ahead. So they they see her they see Geena Davis. They come and they crash land in her pool. They see her bush and nipples through her swimsuit. Yep.

Everybody sees that. We're all it shows bush. We all see it. It has a bush. It has a bush.

My egg has a bush. And she and they crash land. And then she immediately is like, I need to drain the pool. Right. And so she calls Woody.

Who is? Dude, Michael McKeon, the actor of our times. It's crazy to me that he was originally cast as as Ted. Ted. So weird.

What it it also he plays a preppy, snobby he's played, like, in ages and whatever. He can play a great actor. But he he's so great He's so so great as Woody. So great as Woody. It's so hard to imagine that it would be to do with a clue?

Oh, before. Yeah. Like '85? Eighty '5. Right before right before he shows up, I think, is when all the aliens perform stomp for the first time.

Oh, yeah. They they all just start multiple movie? Everything. It's musica. Three times in the show.

In the movie, I think, where they just, like, make music through sound. Yeah. That's well, we learned that their their way of Just make music through sound. Communicating is just replicating sound. They can literally, like, open their mouth and replicate it.

So They are perfect mimics. Yeah. Yeah. That is their great talent. They are perfect.

And we haven't mentioned because I've I assumed everyone watched it, but that they're they're furries. Yes. We have not mentioned them. Color coded. They're color coded.

Yes. Yes. And they wear thongs, metal thongs. Metal thongs. Yeah.

Yeah. PG. So we never actually I have so many questions Yeah. If you want. About, like, they're just because they we learned they're just human Yeah.

Yeah. With underneath all of that fur. I mean, I I gotta say real quick another one of my favorite lines where the lady they're at the salon, and the lady leans into Gina Davis and is asking her something. And Gina Davis goes, oh, nothing. I'm on drugs.

And it's just there's so many casual, great, throwly lines. Talk about also a Gibson reference, like a get Mel Gibson so hot. Second movie, we've had that. The the flashbacks the flashbacks you brought up, those flashbacks are wild. The flashbacks are crazy.

We learned that she was, like, with you for so long and that she, like, has always like, what is the what is the commentary? We learned, like, he was, like, a a little bit abusive. Right? Or, like, not not But she was always in the way. Yes.

That was no she's always, like, screwing things up for him. Yes. And he's, like, always kinda angry at her, but never quite hits her. You know? It's, like, that kinda weird.

Be there. It is super weird that they didn't just make the choice to make him an asshole. No. I know. Constantly.

They it's very convenient. The fact fact the fact that they don't make him that he's like a sleazebag that's been cheating on her is like the is like so crazy to me. He's such a We complicated him and I get that like make it safe. Hey, and you know For him. No.

And you know no. Actually, what they do is they complicate the emotional stakes of this movie, and good for them. Yeah. Sure. Okay.

And you also okay. And I also feel like I don't stand by that. You know what? It actually makes more sense that she keeps talking to him and is still interested if Yeah. It makes her seem less stupid, I guess.

I guess. Yeah. Rudy has approached me. I am being sniffed. He knows I am going to be taking care of him.

Yeah. And he is double checking all is okay, and it is not. It is not. I guess. It is not.

As a furry creature approached me at the salon, they all get shaved, and they come out. They all look they get normal. Like, Jim Carrey gets bleached. Pretty hot. They all get hot.

And Jeff Goldblum comes out like he comes out of the of the pod in the fly, and you're like, oh, wow. Is that Is this the hottest Jim Carrey is in a movie? Is this Jeffrey Godblum? They are all so fucking hot in this movie. They are.

All of them. But I feel like Jim Carrey goes hard into the character stuff and gets away from being, like, hot. But when he first yeah. If if he is hot to you, then it no. I mean, he's funny.

Super cute. I think he's adorable. But I have a okay. So they come out, and this movie is an hour and forty minutes long. Forty two minutes in is when we get the reveal of them coming out of the pots.

Isn't that kinda crazy? It is crazy. I love that. I know. Yeah.

It's like actually, it feels because so much happens in that first part. Yeah. But it's like it feel it's like actually quite we we have to wait a little bit Yeah. To, like, get the scene. To get the reveal.

Yeah. I have a question for you. Okay. Answer. How many acts is this movie?

Oh, man. I mean, I only I struggled. Yeah. That's actually a really good question because I always assume it's three acts, and so I don't even, like, consider the other thing. But the but I got really thrown.

I feel like it was almost like five. Yeah. That's what I was gonna my first guess is really fine. I think you might be right because Thank you. Because there's also like Twice.

There's also two inciting incidents. There's the inciting incident of her finding out that her fiance is cheating on her. Right. And then there's the inciting incident of the spaceship crash landing in her pool. Yeah.

And those are those seem like both extremely important to her entire story. So it's hard to put this in, like, a normal three act structure. So, yeah, I I think you might be right. Okay. Because then they they get as they they get they get their makeovers, and then her friends, her, they all wanna they take them out.

Right? They take them out on the town. Oh, no. First, they come back to the house. They go I'm sorry.

First, they come back to the house. Right? I No. No. What happens first?

After they Is this the is this where Jim Carrey hops over to the deep? Right. Yeah. No. No.

If that happens first or if they come back to the house. They don't go back to that. They go to this club first. But the club, you guys, is the Griffith Observatory. Yeah.

It is. Totally. Really amazing. I love it. Into a club called Deca Dance Club.

Yep. It's the Griffith Observatory. It's amazing. That's crazy. By the way, other crazy things in this movie.

These aliens, it's all about observation for them. They are looking at everything, smelling everything, touching everything. Has. Exactly. And on that note Mhmm.

At 4626, after the drive around where Carrie hops to the other Jeep where it's like, oh, this feels like dangerous in, like, a goofy fun guy way, while they're driving where he super Mario Bros? Right. Jim Carrey at 4626, he sniffs a woman Yeah. From her toes to her tip. And Oh, that's right.

Pretty deep when he gets at the butt area. Yeah. That's right. Does he sniff her butt? Am I crazy?

And I have a follow-up. I'm a couple. This is, like, five minutes from the reveal that they now look like humans. He's already at a club sniffing someone toe to tit smelling a butt. Yeah.

And I, I said tip, but also Oh. He does a tits too. So Nope. There's the opportunity. I saw him lingerie.

Yeah. But he does sniff her butt. Am I wrong? I think No. She's that's normal.

I think he takes a pretty deep whiff. And that made him and Jimmy Carey not whiplock. You know? So it that's what I was gonna you again, we are mind melded because my my written question is, is this an actor choice? 100% actor choice.

Okay. Final question. Okay. Is this justifiable based on what we've seen? Potentially what they've read I'd say, yeah.

That that it's like, this is the horniest one. Alien would do. He's the horniest one. And also it's the smelliest part. Yeah.

It makes sense. It's sort of dog. It's a dog. Yes. He's he's also been introduced as the horniest.

They're cats. They're all cats. I love the cat in this movie. Oh, are we gonna talk about cats? The movie?

The movie? I just watched the movie House, the Japanese film House, which if anyone has not seen it or is that House it. Yes. Watch it. Yeah.

Watch it. Especially if you're a cat lover and a weirdo, watch it. I loved it. Does that have mister Mustaphales in it? Okay.

You guys No. Okay. When we get to the sorry. No. No.

Please keep us on track. Okay. So we at the at the club, though, is one of my favorite experience because, like Say the dance hall. The dance hall. Yeah.

Because, like, it feels like Damon Wayans. Like, Damon Damon Wayans is, like, sometimes he feels, like, a little aside. Like, it feels like the other guy. Like, Jeff Goldblum's the hot one. He's, like, the main one.

Yeah. And then Jeff Goldblum's the And then, like, June is, like, the crazy one. And then it's like, what does Damon Wayans get to do? And then the dance off is, like, such a spectacle. It's so It's great.

It's so fun. Yeah. And he and, like, he is actually doing some of the dancing. Like, he definitely has a double we didn't recognize at some parts, but he's doing a lot of it himself, actually. He's, like, quite a good dancer.

And when he says, why be with a hero when you can get with a zero? Yeah. I love it. I, like, quoted that for my like, for years. Oh, yeah.

I just thought it was, like, the funniest thing. I love it. Yeah. Yeah. I just, like, thought the dance off was it's, like, so fucking good.

And the other dancer guy is incredible. Like Phenomenal. Oh, yeah. That guy was, like, ridiculously good. That girl too is, like, she would be on, like, she would be color?

As a fly girl? Was she a fly girl? No. But you'd think she could have been a, and b, there were already so many members of the cast. She she looked like a fucking, like, cast member on Atlanta or Insecure.

Like, she just looked like good. In a different decade, she could have been, like, a lead of a fucking TV show. Yeah. You know? She she was so cute.

Yeah. I also, with the dance off thing and kind of what you had said, I think Jim Carrey almost feels like a, like, a little more than Damon Wayans because he's pushing Yes. So much. I think Damon Wayans is kind of the more touching, like, innocent puppy dog one. And and, like, a lot of the stuff with Damon Wayans actually does resonate with me.

I think I remembered when I was younger, like, oh, this is Jim Carrey. And I kinda forgot Damon Wayans was the third alien beat in this and kept wanting to because he was just always so touching. It was he was so earnest. What did Jim Carrey done before this? Rubber face and once bitten.

I've mentioned those. They're very common. I was just curious because Everybody knows, though. Because this was '89. So it's like he we haven't hit the the Carrie the Carrie fever yet.

Not yet. Not even close. Not even close. We haven't even gotten to in Living Color yet. But we got we got Jim Carrey's tongue in the in the absolute fact that if you got a good tongue and you can work that thing, horny movies abound.

And there's something really Success. There's something really cute about the, like, moment where also Damon Wayans, like, listen. Okay. We're just gonna say it right now. He's the one black alien.

Yeah. And he comes out of the pod, and he goes pot as fuck. And then he says and he and then, like, they put Julie Brown's voice over it. Oh my god. You're, like, totally black.

And it was, like, really so funny and so cute. Like, I loved that moment. Yeah. It was way ahead of its time in that Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. You're not ignoring it. Yes. You're you're putting you're referencing it, and you're moving on.

You know? Yes. You're you're not just being, like, we're gonna, like, cast blindly or whatever. Like, we're just no. He he's he's black.

What? And he's beautiful. Yeah. And it's like, why shouldn't one of the aliens be black? It was, like, it was so fucking fun.

I agree. Yeah. Yeah. It's great. But that the the the dancing and then they This club, by the way Yeah.

Has a dance thing, like, a trashy indoor dance thing with, like, like, cages and an outdoor piano bar. Oh, yeah. The piano bar. Yep. Which is also on one of the patios of the Griffith Observatory.

Which is 100% Jeff Goldblum. And that's just how clubs work. And they show it. Inside trashy, outside pianos. I the first time I saw the outside of the club, I was like, oh, is there a club in Hollywood that looks like Griffith Observatory that I didn't know about?

Like, that's my first thought. I was like, did someone re and then no. No. That's just Griffith Observatory. No.

This is just a high budget porno. But but the question to me and, like, the thing about shooting at Griffith Observatory is you wanna showcase its, like, location. And, like, look at this amazing thing up on a hill, the real estate. Look at this incredible architecture. I'm getting back into my Jeff Goldblum.

But, like You are. I wish I could But this they don't really show they just show the dome, and they show a sign. And it's like, for anyone who's not in LA, that doesn't mean anything. Yeah. It's just it's just another building.

It's a weird it's a weird investment. So crazy. I wonder if they just got access to it and they were like, hey. It would almost be weird if we used this location to its full potential. Let's, like, try to play it down.

It was just cheap cheap to use it Yeah. For whatever reason. I I don't know. No. No.

It's cool. Donation. Yeah. Yeah. That's actually kind of but, yeah, they get back to the house.

And Ted shows up Ted Ted well, Ted shows up before they're there and sees Right. And sees that the house is a mess Yep. And thinks she's been kidnapped or and calls these these police officers that are wild. At the first, I actually think they're fine because they're like, hey. You suck.

Yeah. You did all this tech. You're fucking out of here. We're we're we're hauling you out. I'm like, hey.

These cups are are great. Yeah. And so I did feel bad about the fish, I will say. When she dropped the wine bottle in the in the, thing. Eat the fish.

They eat the fish. The aliens eat the fish. Oh, sure. But early in the movie when she drops the wine bottle, I'm like, well, those fish are toast. I felt bad for all the fish.

Yeah. Yep. I felt bad for a lot of the animals. This, by the way, was monitored by the ASPCA and Does that cat orgasm? Yeah.

It could be a lot of time. That cat is fucking purring. Yeah. It's a little purring. That cat is into it.

I mean, I don't know if the the actor cat, but like that. No. By the way, the sex scene in this movie yeah. We're gonna talk about it. Yeah.

You can laugh. It's okay, Bubba. He's talking to the cat. But the sex scene in this movie is nuts because it's just, like, sheets and glitter and amber, like, twins. Wait.

Are we getting in the sex scene? That's where we are. Yeah. We're like we're an hour in. Okay.

Okay. Okay. An hour in, we get the title. We got we got she's saying her thing She she said which is the greatest thing any movie can do. Think that Earth Girls are easy.

Yeah. But version of the title. I was like, come on, boo. Boom. Before that, she says one of my favorite lines that I had to write down.

But you're an alien, and I'm from the valley. We do we all live in the valley? Yes. I always That line that line, I was like, what? That It's a it's a especially now living in LA.

It's like I know. Now, like, watching this movie, when I was in Georgia and now being in like, living literally in South circus liquor in this? Circus liquors. Yeah. There's a lot of things where I'm just like, oh, yeah.

It's wild now living here. I had a poof. You came? I had a poof or two. You came?

During the season? No. No. No. No.

No. This movie, like, it does, like, very I'm gonna use it the youth say. Youth. Lower lower act lower key. Low key.

This movie has a lot to say about fear mongering and hatred of what you may not understand or exactly relate or correlate to And and I of interspecies or interracial love, fear of the ethnic myth, the melting pot. Like And literally has a lot to say. And just to, like, piggyback on that, literally the fact technology. The fact that Damon Wayans comes out and it's just, like, they say one line, oh my god, you're, like, totally black, but it's just, like, literally, like, we may look like whatever. Underneath, we may look like whatever.

But, like, it doesn't matter. Like like, they literally make that thematic point of, like, oh, I guess you were black. Yeah. Oh, wow. You know?

It's like they like they make that such a humongous point in the movie. But then we are at the sex scene, which is one of the most amazing sex scenes I think I've ever seen. It's pretty insane. Two married people who are so hot. Yeah.

Sequins everywhere. Yeah. First time genitals and private areas are covered in the movie, weirdly. Yeah. Oddly enough, like I feel like we can still see, like, side nipples.

We saw boob. I saw boob or at least a little boob. Probably. This is a PG movie. Uses Amazon accent.

Have you seen the mouse that roared? There's I'm I saw poop in that movie. I see boobs at all in the movie. By the way, they right after the sex scene, there's a woman that's just painted blue, and you can just straight up see your tits. We need to talk about the after the sex scene.

Dream sequence. The dream sequence is techno nightmare. Out of fucking Twilight Zone. It's scary. Oak from from Oklahoma Dream Ballet.

Like, it's, like, the craziest of a game. Wild. And there's so long. I feel like they just went to a warehouse and were like, give us every alien costume you have. Mhmm.

And they're like, these are all different. Like, I don't care. Yeah. Give me Optimus Prime. Give us everything.

It's so good. Put it on screen. It's like the fucking, it's like no bad ideas. No bad ideas. Yeah.

Okay. What do you got? What do you got? It's very, like, 2,008 Michael Bay rider strike. Yeah.

It's like, there's a robot in the hallway. Yes. There's a robot in the hallway. What else is happening? This robot that door.

Hold that door. There's the aliens outside. They're playing basketball. Fuck. Yeah.

Yeah. One of them is a kid. Oh, fuck. I have a question. I have a question.

Okay. They wake up I wanted to keep going so bad. Hold that dork. But they wake up the next morning. Yeah.

And Gina Davis takes a handful. Five birth control meds. Is that okay. Is that something you do after you give No. No.

No. I feel really good sex. Okay. I had to explain this to MJ. Make you sick.

Right? I had to explain this to MJ. Yes. So MJ was like, why would she do that? And I was like, well, because she takes one, she looks at him, and she's like, I don't know what this alien semen how how virile it is.

Wow. I think every woman understands when they watch this movie that that's what's happening. So that she so she looks over and she's like, oh, I actually don't know how powerful this is. I'm gonna take a couple extra. This could be Superman.

Yeah. Because it's like, this guy might have, like, super powers. This could be Superman in my u She's, like, trying to plan b it. My ovaries. She's plan b ing it.

Yeah. Yeah. Got it. Because it's like I wonder it's like is that something you'd it's like if you had a night of six rounds Not with a human man. Nope.

Okay. There you go. No. We're not we're not we're not worthy of of five birth control pills regardless of the amount of rounds of or whatever. Okay.

I got it. I was trying to think of, like, if there was a human man that would it's like yeah. Like, maybe if you, like, fuck Chris Evans or something. But, like, if you fuck Chris Evans, you kinda, like, maybe might wanna have that baby. You know what I mean?

Yeah. Sure. That makes it true. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Part of, like, Jeff Goldblum. You wanna have captain I wanna have that baby. Yeah. You wanna have Jeff Goldblum's baby?

I mean, have we all seen the world according to Jeff Goldblum on National Geographic? It's amazing. I also just think He's wonderful. Jeff Goldblum in Thor Ragnarok because it's just, like, so fucking brilliant in that movie. That though I know.

Is a top 10 movie all time in the movie. Where he's gotten to now, like, his Greatest remake ever. His, like, self awareness and then the Thor Ragnarok, like, there's there's this weird, Jeff. Like, he's so self aware now. I don't it's so funny.

He's cast so perfectly the last several years partly by, obviously, his doing or or Yeah. Or handlers or whatever, as well as directors or casting folks that are like, this is a Jeff Goldblum Yes. Thing. The the wheelhouse is so clear now. One of the shames of Thor Love and Thunder is that that character supposedly dies in a, deleted scene.

Dumb. Oh. Dumb. Haven't seen it. It's a bad movie movie.

But yeah. That sucks. This I I like that, by the way, like, the foresight or it was, like, very on the tip of where they empty the pool and they're skating in it. Yeah. Because they have to get their ship out.

Fixing their ship. Yeah. But they're all skating in it. And then, of course, we get the return of Michael McKeon. She drove her car into the pool.

I'm always doing that. But they ask and they ask her, like, what kind of car is it? And they're, like, Finnish? Yeah. He's from Finland.

Finland. Yeah. Yeah. Michael McKinnon is so good. He's from Finland.

He's so good in this movie. Wonderful. So good. And it's, like, so cool because, like, he forever in my mind, he is, like, a conservative kind of, like, villain. Interesting.

Get to see him because I think because it was was in, like, one Adam Sandler movie, he was one of Sure. You know? He wasn't black sheep. Oh, yes. No.

Wait. It was even David Spade were the agents in coneheads. Coneheads. Coneheads. I thought about coneheads.

Comedy central Maytime. A lot during this movie. I did a couple times as well. Yeah. Yeah.

And then and then Ted comes back though, and he says this one line. And it's like, really? I never noticed this line before until this year as, like, a woman now in my thirties. And it's like funny. I'm 77.

But it but he says, Valerie, I need you to take care of me. Yep. You just need to be needed. Right? That's all you need.

My mind. I was was like, oh, man. This movie is ahead of its time. Yeah. Yeah.

This because, like, now She just wants to fuck. Oh. Yes. Yes. She wants to be real.

Horny. Ladies, Ben, ladies get horny. Ladies are horny. I'm aware. Cats are horny.

Aliens are horny. Nobody's horny. Everyone is horny. Not alien men are horny. I alien men are horny.

So party. Elsa. Children are over. This is I mean, I obviously was. Well, that's the subtitle of the episode.

Yeah. Earth girls are easily slash horny kids. Oh my god. It's true. It is true though.

But like Yeah. This is like when the movie the movie hits the right point at the perfect time because it's like the surfing going to the beach, it becomes a blonde song. It's just shopped quick, and it's, like, very exciting. And we get the blonde song. And it's super fun.

And the gas station thing. So good. When they get to the gas station The the gun too. It's like, that looks real. Yeah.

That kid's gun that they end up with looks real. That, yeah, that sequence was great. And to me that was, to me, another act. I was like, wait. Now we're doing another story.

Yep. We suddenly gone into another like, this now now we're This is like a five act movie. You're totally right. Because now it's really handled with, like, with such a deft hand. And what It is, though.

Yeah. Yeah. But, like, but, like, these two character because we've established that Mac is more in tune with his emotions and clearly the leader of the group. Mhmm. Right.

And, these two are He got to sleep while they were traveling. These two are dumber. Yeah. And so that we get their, like, literal, like this this sequence made me think of coneheads of, like Mhmm. Party Martians.

They are MTV scum. One of my favorite lines that I love that line. So good. Yeah. They accidentally rob a gas station.

And then one of the funniest things I thought too was that Jeff Goldblum comes he's, like, chases them down after they've stolen Woody's car, after they ran into the big boob long lady in the pink Corvette. Angeline. Angeline. Thank you. Forgive me.

Mad respect. Go to her all. Go to her only fans. Angeline's, not Nico's. A 35 years old.

That's what I thought. She's like a Doctor Who character. It's a business that was based in Woodland, Washington that shut down. OnlyFans never forget. So when Call back to a made up thing we did.

Yeah. Nobody laughed at the first time, but I can't help myself. Yeah. It's fine. It's fine.

But, also, like, this is when it's, like, the cops become standard because they show up, and it's like, oh, these are just cops. Well, what's funny is, like, they go Jeff Goldblum and and Michael Pekiner stand on the phone, they're talking to the woman, and they're like, is that one of them? And she goes, yes. Actually, I don't know. I'm not sure.

And they're like, good enough for us. And then they'd, like You're gonna beat the shit. And then they could just arrest him. That's what I imagine cops to be like. Yeah.

Yes. You know? It seems more real to life. It was just such a great moment. Like, yeah.

Actually, no. I'm not sure. Good enough. And they just fucking tackle him. Yeah.

Yeah. Well, and then they, they go back to the hospital, and Ted is now Wait. Hold on. They first, they crashed Woody's car. Wait.

And what's so sorry. What's so funny about that part that you're talking about is, like, you know the screen that as they're writing it together, they're, like, okay. But, like, then how do we get those two to the Yeah. The PlayStation instead? And, like, they weren't the and then, like, what if the cops literally say, we don't care?

Yeah. And they're, like, brilliant. Yeah. Well, actually, this works in our favor. It's, like, so much funnier.

Yeah. It is. Yeah. It's, like, totally what happened. And then, yeah, they're just, like Good choice.

Good enough. Yeah. Because, but they crashed Woody's car off of Oh, the launch. Yes. Which and they put it into Randy's donuts.

Yeah. The into the donut. Into the donut. It's perfect. It's just one more little insertion into a hole.

It's just Everything. Yes. Yes. It's the horniest movie ever made that is PG. By the I'm gonna ask you this again.

Did I watch a porn? For kids. A porn for kids. Maybe. Also, I have seen Homeward Bound.

So, no, it's not the horniest movie, but it was close. That was that was an option. Yeah. That would've left. Wow.

Okay. So, speaking of horny movies, they end up in the hospital because they got in this car wreck and the whole deal. And Geena Davis comes, with Jeff Goldblum Mhmm. And finds the nurse who was cheating with Ted Right. And forces her to strip in front of a dude in a body cast.

Yes. And he's like, no way. He's just honest. Like, yeah. No.

Keep making a strip. Also. Yeah. That poor nurse, she didn't do anything wrong. She really I she's the person.

She didn't even know she's the good guy. She didn't even know that he was engaged. Yes. Nope. Yeah.

She shows up and he's like she's like, wait. What do you mean? Like, she's constantly just like He's like, oh, me and the cat. Yeah. Her tits are, like, so amazingly fake.

I love them so much. Like, they're so like, the it's like the thing where they're, like, they're, like, wanting to like, where they start is so far away, and it just is, like, it's, like, so amazing. I just Super Bless her. Super eighties silicone tits. I love it.

They're so good. She did nothing wrong. So Nope. That No. The actress did nothing wrong.

And And my character No. The the actress killed it. Yeah. Killed it. She's great.

She nailed it. And speaking of those two big old silicone things, we have two heartbeats, Ted finds out. Oh, right. That these guys must be gonna be, like, on Time magazine. Yep.

Sure does. Yeah. Just like Rogue. But then they set up that fun thing early on. They do another Stop.

They do another they do another Blue Man group. Stop number three. They do another Blue Man group. Good. Call back.

But we know this is one of their powers. They can create these sounds and mimic and Yeah. Yeah. It's been established. And they make him feel insane because they make him think that he has two hundred feet.

Ted. Good. I mean, fuck Ted, but also he's not the worst person in the world. He hasn't cheated on her. Yeah.

He is manipulative. I mean, he did get a hickey, so he did cheat on her. And I will say, though, our He just didn't have sex with him. The flashbacks, I just don't know if they're reliable. Like, they are they seem very It's so weird.

From her perspective that I'm like, I don't think that these are objective. I'm sorry. No. I feel like I'm like a They're doing a five. I feel like I'm being like a menace.

Yeah. You are. Yeah. No. Especially with Paul.

Yeah. I'm No. But I agree where you're getting one side of a story. Yeah. Like, it's obviously she's, like, the the storyteller of that flashback, and I'm like, Tyler Higgly, this guy hasn't cheated.

I couldn't believe that they wrote that he hasn't cheated. Weird. Yeah. That's weird. Again, the thing that keeps coming back is that she he's not he's not the he's not the worst person in the world.

She's the only one out of the two of them that has had sex with someone else by the end of the movie. By the very end, yes. And by the very end, Mac and all the folks are all gonna leave. Everybody's wishing them goodbye, Michael McKean, the whole deal. And Mac is so evolved that he's gonna love touch.

That's a power they have. It calms the cat. It calms the cops, everybody. Mac love touches Ted and Valerie Yeah. Gina Davis.

So that they can be together. And Valerie's like, bro, doesn't work because there's none of that left for this guy. The cat and him now love each other. Yeah. No.

But no. But it also no. K. My interpretation is my love for you is so so much stronger than this fake love tush. Right?

Oh, interesting. The true love is true love conquers all. Yes. Love. Yes.

I thought my my interpretation was Yeah. He knew that he had to go, And so he was like, okay. I'm gonna leave you at least with this, and you'll be happy. Oh. And that she she was fought back at it like, no.

This isn't real anymore. Her true happiness is real. Yeah. Although, I do find it funny that, like, again, like, these guys shave their entire like, they're completely different people now. Do they?

Okay. It's all fake. Can you guys say that's a weird question? It's fake. Do they so their dick is also shaved?

That's where yeah. Because that's not a big question. Is that bear? Is it the only part of their body that is not hairy? No.

But Would they have furry penis? Or is it just that part that's that's like their dick? Like, I just had Is it like a dog penis? I couldn't stop thinking of it. I was like It's like lipstick where Red Rock comes out.

Hey. Now this No. Gina Davis is like, nope. We're compatible. Totally works.

Yeah. Gina Davis does say that. I mean, again Shit. This this could have been a porn. Not obsess about their genitals?

It's hard not to. It's hard not to. Like, you could rewrite this movie and it is just a porn. It could be it would be better written than most porn. This is why it's difficult to rerate it because would it be better as a porn?

Maybe if it still stars Jeff Goldblum and Geena Davis. Well, I I just mean, like, plot wise. Like, you could you could conceptualize this exact same plot into a porn. I wanted to see this as an r rated movie without, like, full fledged all out here it is nudity. I still wanted to see a ten minute longer r rated cut of it because I feel like it would have been better.

It's PG. I wanna see a butt for sure. Yeah. You wanna see a gold butt? I definitely wanna see as he came out of the pod.

Sure. Yeah. I wanna see a butt butt. Yep. Yeah.

Yep. And because just to know because I did wanna know under that little metal, like, g string thing they were wearing Yeah. What's going on under I just wanna know what's going on under there. And, like, mostly in the thing that they can't show me even in the r rated version, I wanna see I just wanna know what that alien stick looks like. Like, are they shaving it?

Are they waxed? Is it nare? Is it is that part of the hairless? I just wanna know. Like, could you it's red rocket.

Could you show me a hairy fake penis and still be peachy? The answer to that is not. Blue or yellow. Or what if it didn't look like a human penis? What if it looked a little weird?

I think you still care. What if it looked a little weird? Like, a little little Not a close-up. What if the balls were on top? Julie Brown, please send Keiko the original script to this movie that has the in-depth description.

I think Keiko could adapt this into the stage version. Red rock it. Red rock it. Want to. So about starting Timothee Chalamet.

In A Manhattan Theater Club. Hey, call me by your name. Call me by your name. Oh, God. Oh, my God.

Which character would Timothee Chalamet He's gotta be Mac. Like, he's gotta be He has his shot. Like, he has his shot. Does he he does not drip sexual energy into Jeff. He tries.

Can we wait. Can we play a game really quick where we recast this now? Yeah. I love it. As contemporary actors?

Okay. If it's if it's a movie. Right? Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I feel like if we're if we're Ben's going first? No.

We can all we can all brainstorm. Let's work together. We're a group. Okay. Okay.

I Pedro Pascal is, the blue is Mac. I think he might be too old now. Okay. If it's not him, it's Oscar Isaac. That's where I'm at.

Oh, Oscar Isaac is a great show. That's where I'm at. I'm arguing for them. Oscar is a good because he he does he definitely drips that Mhmm. That daddy energy.

Yeah. The daddy energy is real. Yeah. John David Washington, no. No.

He's For Zebo. I don't think so. No. I don't think that's the right energy. Not the right vibe.

This game could take a while. What if It took a while. Okay. What if we go Gina Davis' character first? Sure.

Because that's me. We got a Valley girl who is a hairdresser. Mhmm. Like, part of me is like, is this like a a Hailee Steinfeld? She oh.

Oh, fuck. Interesting. That's kinda hot. Sorry. That's interesting.

Hailee Steinfeld. She would be a little bit less valley girl than me. Like a New York version. Sure. But, like, she's good in Bumblebee with the alien kind of At least I am.

Like, being kind of comedic with it. Yeah. It's really fun. The Jim Carrey one is, I feel like, the hardest to me. Like, the one I'm really avoiding because name Spiderman?

What's his name? Oh. Oh, Tom Holland. Tom Holland might be a fun I was thinking of I was thinking of I mean, he's probably too old. I was thinking it's also tough.

How old was Tim Curry when this movie was made? Twenties. Yeah. Yeah. It's interesting.

A lot of stars are not super young. Bowen Yang. I'm gonna throw in as one of the aliens. I fucking loved him and Bros. Oh, that's actually a great That's really good.

Like, as a modern adaptation, one one of the aliens is gay. I think that was Yes. I'm gay. Oh, that's actually perfect. Yeah.

That's super perfect. Yeah. That's super fun. So I think Jim Carrey maybe tipped the the horny the horny alien Goes to Bowen Yang. You know what?

See? I think that's Maybe Shamique Moore, the guy who most famously is the voice of Spider Man in the Morales. Yeah. Yeah. Yay.

I think maybe could do Zeeba? Maybe. Maybe. Oh, straight up, you've never seen him do that. Not going if he's really dancing.

Actor. Brandon Marino. Brandon Marino, guest of this on this podcast. Okay. Now so now we're not fucking around.

It would be Hailee Seinfeld and Timothee Chalamet. I mean I don't see Timothee Chalamet as a drag. But he just looks like a guy. Oscar Isaac. I agree maybe Pedro is a little old, but I damn he's good.

Yeah. Yeah. I just feel like Jeff Goldblum, you can't match that level. Dude, just bring back Goldblum. You know what?

Just bring him back. You know what? It turns out we are into AI. Let's DH that motherfucker. Bring him back.

He still looks good. You don't even need DH Jeff Goldblum. He's That's true. I see everything. He's he's just well, you know, if, you know, yeah.

He's a he's a good, he's he's a handsome guy. He's Well, we've come we've come to it, the rerating. We've come? To a conclusion watched it once movie? I saw it.

Five times. Yeah. Keiko, you get to choose what order do we go in. I watched it one time, but I paused. I had to pause a few times.

I paused. Yeah. Once, I think. You made your husband explode. I paused a lot.

%. Pardon me. I paused a lot while Geena Davis was in that bikini. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Wait. I'm into a bush. Wait. It has a bush.

Why does it have a bush? We can go this way. People have bushes. We can go opposite direction. Oh, wow.

It's you first. Yeah. I'll go first. Is this a first? First?

Wait. Wait. Wait. Okay. So the question is the first is how I first experienced it as a child.

Sure. Now that we've just talked. And then now that okay. Now that we've talked. We had a lot of fun.

We've talked a lot of more things. I'm kinda, like, back into, like, four and a half. This like, talking about it, I was like, we really enjoyed this movie. Yeah. Like, it's not I agree.

Yeah. Like like, it's not a good movie No. Necessarily. But I but I loved it. But but it's it's good in the sense that it's doing everything that it wants to do.

Exactly. I was so entertained. Actually, thematically, when I was talking about stuff, I was like, it really did was ahead of its time in a way. Yeah. This is, like, weirdly four and a half of Jim Carrey's dark eyebrows against his bleached hair.

Yeah. That's true. Frosted tears. Frosted. Yeah.

I feel inspired to go to four and a half. I feel like this was did everything it's set out to do. And, like, it's of its time, and it's again, I I thought I was gonna I thought I was gonna be disappointed in the in the rewatch, and I I was thoroughly entertained. And so what did I go with first was four and a half sushi. Went four.

Yeah. But I think I had, like, sushi splats. Sushi splats. Yep. So four and a half sushi splats.

Keiko's mission here, we went we did adaptation first and we were all kind of in a nest. And you failed completely because we went from the Illuminati at four to the Illuminati at four and a half. Yeah. Because we're all here. Yeah.

The movie like, you you did the little game of the recasting. This movie is nearly perfectly cast. Yes. It's beautifully shot. When you consider the costumes and and all that kind of stuff and the mixed media photography and everything and that it is an independent film, I'm gonna give it its flowers.

I'm gonna give it its hard ons and wide ons. You get four and a half. Yeah. Four and a half sniffs. I'm gonna sniff the titties a little.

Oh my god. A little. I love that. You gotta sniff the titties. I love that the last shot is, again, another hole.

Yep. That is a space hole. The Cheerio asteroid. Everything's about sex. I know.

Yep. I I had a great time. There are things that are, quote, unquote, imperfect. I don't don't give a shit. If I had bought this on accident, I would have been like, great Yeah.

At the end. No problem at all. This is the problem for me on this program so far Program. Is I'm gonna keep wanting to, expand my collection. Yeah.

Because I now want an adaptation. I want this. Thank you so much. What a good time. You brought us two movies that are very similar.

So We had a Charlie and Donald, though. We had a Charlie and Donald. What a one eighty. I know. Truly.

No. I'm I'm so like, truly, when I brought this movie up at first at first, I had adaptation. I was like, well, I should bring a cool movie to you guys. And then, like, when that thing got deleted, like, you were, like, think about what movie you want. And then, like, literally, like, within ten seconds, I texted you back Earth Girls are easy.

Yeah. I was, like, I'm not even gonna you guy now you guys just get my id. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

You just get Sure. Base my impulse, which is Earth grocery. I just hope this is the right one. Way to go. Way to go.

What a great choice. Oh. The theme's here. It's back. Okay.

Well, I'm here. I'm Paul x Badley on Letterboxd. I'm Run DMC. This is Jamie Henwood doing this theme. Yeah.

It does our bookends. As mentioned, Matthew Fosca. They're pointing at the spot. We do. Matthew Fosca did our what are we watching?

Keiko Green. Thank you. Thank you so much for having me. You wanna tell them Two for two. Wait.

You can't say anything because there's a stripe. You can follow me on Instagram at Keiko the Green. You'll have a really good time. You go. And you can follow Paul's dad on OnlyFans.

Also review x two podcast on Instagram. Thank you so much. Subscribe. Share with your friends. We have a great time.

There will be more spin off soon. Thanks again. Watch some porn. It's free.