HH 7 - Gremlins / The Little Drummer Bill (Guest: Jessica Erin Martin)

“Great, now I have another reason to hate Christmas…The worst thing that ever happened to me was on Christmas. Oh, God. It was so horrible. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and Mom were decorating the tree, waiting for Dad to come home from work. A couple hours went by. Dad wasn’t home. So Mom called the office. No answer. Christmas Day came and went, and still nothing. So the police began a search. Four or five days went by. Neither one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing, so I went to try to light up the fire. That’s when I noticed the smell. The firemen came and broke through the chimney top. And me and Mom were expecting them to pull out a dead cat or a bird. And instead they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He’d been climbing down the chimney... his arms loaded with presents. He was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck. He died instantly. And that’s how I found out there was no Santa Claus.” 

Happy Holidays! “Gremlins,” (D. Joe Dante 1984) Starring: Zack Galligan, Pheobe Cates, and Hoyt Axton. With our guest @jessicaerinmartin available on 12/24!

**All episodes contain explicit language**
Main Artwork - Ben McFadden
'Review Review Intro/Outro' Themes - Jamie Henwood
"What Are We Watching?" & "Whatcha Been Doin'?" Themes - Matthew Fosket
"Fun Facts" Theme - Chris Olds/Paul Root
Lead-Ins Edited/Conceptualized by - Ben McFadden
Produced by - Ben McFadden & Paul Root ("Shelf Help" - Paul Root)
Podcast/Program Concept - Paul Root

***This Podcast/Program is for entertainment purposes only. This Podcast/Program includes parody. This Podcast/Program contains peer review, film review, and film/art preservation discussions. 

Transcript

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Welcome friends. If I can still say friends. We'll see. It's the review review for the holidays. Ho ho ho.

Don't talk to me like that. I was just I was just looking This is a PG rated movie, Paul. Right? How? Ben.

It's Paul. It's a horror movie for kids. I don't like that. I'm gonna say maybe more than monster squad, but definitely not more than monster squad. Yeah.

I'm toward. I'm toward. What is this what is this podcast? Well, I'm glad you asked, Ben. Yeah.

Because I'm gonna tell you. This podcast I'm gonna do it in my Santa voice. Oh, this podcast is a movie podcast. You sound just like my dad. Is your dad Santa Claus?

Well, he tried to be one night. Oh, no. He had his arms full of pals and he slept and Mm-mm. Oh, sorry. Sorry.

Sorry. It's funny. I mean, that's that's really dark. That's dark. Sorry, Ben.

You were saying? Sorry, Paul. Your dad was an idiot. Yeah. Ho ho ho.

Okay. Back up. Back up. Ho ho. Welcome to the review review.

This is a movie podcast where we have a guest. Our guest brings us a movie. This time, we made our guest watch a movie. You know, that movie needs to be at least 7 years old or older and something that they might feel passionate about. And this this is breaks the mold a little bit, kinda like we did with True Romance.

As we know, our lovely guest today is miss Jessica Aaron Martin. Did we know that? Well, they would've seen it on the you would've seen it on the announcements. And it was captured when I was, like, come back and do gremlins with us. Oh, that's I guess.

What one what Sure. What episode was that? Was that the mummy episode? The twisters episode. I think it was twisters.

Okay. Deep cut. Twister dollar sign. Yeah. Yeah.

Which was with, Cerakos? Yeah. Great episode. Way up from the from the chopper. What a star, Sarah Jones.

To the truth. Episode. But, the reason that we Paul, not me, but Paul made you watch this is because Jessica is not a big horror movie person. I get scared. And a second thing, I haven't met a lot of people that haven't seen gremlins, and I feel like this is kind of generally it's, like, just approachable.

I I I like, it it's scary. It's got some scary moments. There's no question about that. I mean, I think it definitely has, like, a cultural significance where it's just assumed that a lot of people have seen gremlins and, like, know the references of what we're about to talk about. But but, yeah, I'd never seen it.

And I think, like But now I have. Stress stress. We use, for Jess' barometer of horror is Stranger Things. Right. Yeah.

I I can do the Stranger Things. Sometimes I get scared. And there's some Stranger Things stranger things takes a lot from gremlins, especially in season 2. It really does. So more importantly than anything to do with little green men, cutting your brake line, what have you my questions.

We have a lot. Yeah. We have a lot of questions. I'm gonna ask my, my wife here. What what have you been doing?

I don't even know. Bye bye. Look. It's the holiday season. I would love a nap right now.

Well, our our sweet kitty is getting better. We've been spending time with him, watching shows with him. He his favorite show is The Great British Bake Off. Mhmm. So we watch reruns together.

He loves Paul Hollywood and Knoll, so we've been doing that. I've just been really busy with work. I feel like December is the time everyone's like, we gotta get it all in before the end of the year. And so it's been it's just been busy of all the the jobs that you work to hustle in this industry. Mhmm.

But you got to do a really cool I did get to do a cool thing. I can't really talk about what I did, but I did get to spend time on the Warner Brothers lot this week, which you know what? I'm just gonna say it now. Let's cut to the chase. Outside, if you get to go on the tour someday, you know, check it out.

But outside each sound stage, they, have a placard with the names of all of the TV shows and the movies that have filmed on that stage. Very cool. Some of them have, like, special placards for, you know, special people or or reasons. One of the soundstages where I was working had Gremlins as one of the films that shot there. So the standing sets of the Gremlins The Matrix is breaking, Paul.

Hallowed ground. I'm just saying. Yeah. Was on the on the on the, sound stage where I worked this week. So that was fun little, thing to what are you doing over there?

Whatever I want. Okay. Oh. Oh, okay. It was kinda embarrassing.

Peanut butter M and M slap it out of his fucking hand. Oh. And then slap his face. Oh my goodness gracious. We found some prop money in the garbage of our apartment.

Awesome. Yeah. Prop money in the garbage. We're sure? It says in the back of it, it says, improper trust.

It's not legal tender. Yeah. It looks really good, though. It is very good. It looks really good.

It turns funny colors when you burn it. There you go. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah.

Yeah. Yeah. But, anyway, so that was my, fun little factoid of the week for this episode. That's awesome. Yeah.

I'm I'm a little jealous. Like I said, gremlin gremlin said hallowed ground. Like, if you're a Highlander, you can't fight there. That's part of the rules. Ben, what have you been doing?

Well, kind of, you know, it's the holiday season. Yeah. Christmas and Hanukkah and all the all the fun holidays. Yuletide? Yule I went to Disneyland with guest of this podcast and my brother, Derek McFadden.

One of the greats. We love him. For the holidays. I haven't really been there during Christmas time, and it's delightful. Nice.

I have to recommend if you're gonna go to see sort of the Christmas lights and the and all of the different sort of overlays they do that the early, like, December, like, 1st week of December is it was pretty like, there weren't a lot of people there. And I think, you know, school's still in session, and you kinda get the best of both worlds. You get no not as many crowds, but you get to see all the lights and the Christmas tree and the nightmare before Christmas. And I got to go on the new Tiana's Bayou adventure. Oh, yeah.

Great. It was real really fun. Yeah. Nice. It's been a little bit of a race because we did that and then Universal the next day.

And, yeah, we're just sort of, you see our tree in the background. We're just kind of getting our our holiday. It's like you want the holidays to be nice and relaxing and then it They never are. It isn't? No.

Not at all. It's because of it's because of capitalism. We're gonna talk about more. Consumerism. Yes.

We are. Yeah. Oh, we're in similar pockets. I can tell. Yeah.

Paul, what have you been doing? We wanna know. I have been editing this podcast like a madman, and I have a lovely time doing it. Ben is one of the great actors of our times and tells me he has a great time doing it, and I believe him. And I love having guests and getting to see people and everything.

This is a lot of work. There's no AI in this. We schedule with each other. We try to make schedules work with each other and bring this program to people, and we think what we do is super fun. It's the holiday season.

Share it with people. Some people will probably get mad at you, but some of those people, you probably want mad at you, like your drunk uncle or whatnot. So you got diabetes Listen to our Hard Target episode. And you're, like, oh, I think you would love this podcast. Right.

And you send them an episode of a movie you know they'll hate, and you're, like, you're welcome. If it's on if it's on your Spotify rap list, share share that rap list. Let us know. But, yeah, that's what I've been doing. I've just been kinda, like, busting ass on this thing quite a bit over the last little while.

Bustin' makes you feel good, though. But bustin' makes me feel good. I feel I like, the little dancing toaster. I love never mind. I hit the mic.

It's time to move on. What's everybody been watching? I've been watching gremlins. How many times did you watch Gremlins? Just once.

Well, okay. I I forgot that we had agreed that we were gonna watch it today because of all of the things that have been going on. And so earlier this week, I was like, oh my gosh. I have to watch Gremlins. And so I started watching it while Ben was, I don't know, at Disneyland somewhere.

And then I was like, I'm watching Gremlins, babe. I'm doing it. And he's like, but remember how we were gonna watch it together? Well, what the fuck what the fuck are you doing? I don't remember, but I so I stopped it halfway through.

But it was good because then we watched we watched it together today, and I picked up more things. So I have a question before we move on from what you're talking about. Yeah. The way I have clocked it for a long time is you don't really get a full on still image of looking at one of the monsters right in the face until right at the halfway point of the movie. In the kitchen where it's, like, over the bowl or whatever, and the mom's coming in from behind.

And I just think that's such a beautiful piece of writing and editing. It's so cool. Similar to Jaws. Right. Exactly.

It's almost like there was somebody in that had an idea. Ben Yeah. What have you been watching? Well, in the pocket here, I watched, I rewatched Krampus, which Yeah. I actually really like that movie.

I think that it, you know, I I think that, obviously, it takes a lot from gremlins, especially the gingerbread men and sort of also the commentary a bit on sort of, like, what is the point of Christmas really? Mhmm. I feel like Krampus goes even further into, like, the sort of inter family sort of quarrels and how but I think it also, like, it uses practical, like, puppets. And, the Krampus design is pretty awesome. So I I actually really like that movie.

And, also, I, I've started the Star Wars series skeleton crew Okay. Which I went into was like, I'll give this a shot. It's awesome. I was telling Jess that, like first off, it's as if Amblin made a Star Wars show. Oh, cool.

So, like, it doesn't actually part of it doesn't really feel like Star Wars, if that makes sense. Like, there's nothing that it's it's not like using Star Wars lore or characters or anything like that. It's like a whole original story. And the best way I can describe it is kinda like Goonies in space. Okay.

Sort of the feel of it. So it's kinda got this, like, Chris Columbus, Richard Donner, Steven Spielberg thing. And I've watched 2 episodes, and I was actually blown away by how much I liked it. Like, I finished the second episode, and I thought I really wanna keep watching this and not in the way that, like, other than and or, I think all of the shows kinda feel the same. Mhmm.

You know? I like the first season of Mandalorian, but I think mostly since then, it's kinda just been a lot of the same and not really anything that's all that interesting. I said forget about it, k. But I think I think people should give Skeleton Groot a shot. It's really fun.

And the kid actors are really good. Okay. I I think I have to come to terms a little bit with when kid actors are really good, they're really good. I I do like a lot of kid performances including some in this movie we're gonna talk about. As well as I think I don't hate voice over narration.

I've said I do many times, but there are so many examples on this podcast of films with voice over narration that I'm like, this is this makes perfect sense, it's done well, or what have you. So I think I gotta come to terms with that. Yeah. What about you? I'm your new one.

I watched Interior Chinatown on Hulu. 1 of the writers of that is former guest, two time guest of this podcast, Keiko Green. It's great. Jimmy O Yang is great. Ronnie Chang is great.

There's this awesome story line that he has that I really love about being a really mean, like, shitty waiter. It has all sorts of layers of absurd comedy. It has the dude who says, it's horse dancing madam from Parks and Rec. It's got everything. It's super enjoyable.

It's got this great mystery thing with, you know, the brother and all sorts of commentary going throughout it. It's a really fun and funny, and zippy show. Yeah. I've only seen the first two episodes, but my brother got me the book. So Right.

Okay. I might read the book before I finish the series. Supposedly, the book is great. Yeah. Author was just on The Daily Show recently and, as a guest and was wonderful.

But, like, you know, that's that's I watched starting 5 on Netflix. It's very basket ball y. I I I mostly like it, but, you know, that's Oh, so we started watching The Madness. We didn't get very foggy because I was sleepy. But everyone should watch it because one of your former guests, Liz Ellis Right.

Is one of the writers on that show. Yeah. And it's, Colman Domingo. Right? Yes.

Colman Domingo. Got a great cast, storyline concepts. Like, number 1 on Netflix. So If we're if we're shouting out guests and their work, you know, everyone watch the new series Matlock, because Oh, yeah. Former guest, Brandon Brandon Marino.

Was on, this most recent episode. Yeah. Absolutely. People are working. We love to see it.

Just not Yes. You know, they get they get on the review review. We we chat about the things and whatnot. It gets the juices flowing. Straight to the top.

There you go. It just it's a springboard. Yeah. But, yeah. That's pretty much it for me.

Good job, guests. We love you. Let's let's move on to the movie, some facts about the movie anyway. Okay. Archaeology is the search for facts.

Exactly right. The movie we watched is Gremlins. Gremlin dollar sign? No. That's the next one.

Which, by the way, especially if you haven't seen it, you should watch almost as soon as you can after this movie. It is the ultimate especially if you've seen the Key and Peele sketch, it it is the ultimate, like, fuck it. We're gonna take a 3 minute scene of a bunch of little monsters at a bar in the first movie and make it into a 95 minute movie. Fuck it. It's great.

Amlan Entertainment and Warner Brothers brought us this picture. It is suggested that you have parental guidance, but past that, you're fine. 1984, 1 hour and 46 minutes. Budget love that time. Great great run time.

Good running time. Could have been less. She thinks that about everything. It's true. This is the sound of me removing a knife from my back in an airport in Sacramento?

Sacramento? Where am I? She's in there. She thinks about everything. Woah.

A 5 minute clip, and she'll be like, ah, that could've been more Tighter. Tighter. Tighter. The budget on this movie was $11,000,000 adjusted. That's 33.4.

Opening weekend in the US, it was June 8, 1984, which is odd to me. Very bullish on the date, but, like, I feel like you coulda really dominated in in the winter. Season. Yeah. Yeah.

Like, an did they do November releases like they do now? Yeah. Well, that's when Blockbusters used to come out. Is in November? It wasn't till Well, I know Jaws changed everything, but, I don't fear change.

But at this point, like, I just I don't Are you gonna eat a cookie? It's gonna be that far. Are Those cookies that are they chocolate peppermint? What are those things? They are the the Trader Joe's stars.

Oh, dark chocolate stars. I'm in. Yeah. Okay. That's up my alley.

Paul Paul loves chocolate stars. Chocolate starfish and hot dog flavored water for lunch every day. Opening weekend of this movie, it made $12,500,000 in the US. That's 37,900,000 adjusted. Final gross in North America, 153.6.

This is fucking nuts. 466,666,000,000 adjusted. That's wild. Final gross worldwide was 153.9, so it was 4 67,500,000 adjusted. Another movie, right after Scrooge where we were like, how did this make, like, $60 more worldwide than it did?

And then you what's what was that? Yeah. I wonder what their, worldwide release be because, you know, it wasn't set up like we have it now. Right. You know?

But that's amazing that they made that much domestically. That's why I think it was probably just Canada when I see things like that. Sure. Well, and, like, I know when you dig deep on this, Howie Mandel did Gizmo's voice in, like, a bajillion different languages when it was all said and done. Like, the lit a lot of the little things he was saying and whatnot, because they could make him say almost anything they wanted in the end.

Other releases this date, Ghostbuster? Woah. But there was a bust I don't know. It makes me feel good saying it though. Yeah.

Makes me feel good. And Beat Street isn't isn't bust busting f normally f beats? Weekend top 5 Ghostbusters. This movie, Indiana Jones and the Temple of Doom, and its 3rd week in release, Star Trek 3, The Search for Spock, and Beat Street, a movie that's like, what is that? Other films from 84, The Karate Kid, Footloose, Beverly Hills Cop, The Terminator, Purple Rain, Romancing the Stone.

Have people seen Romancing the Stone? Oh, yeah. Jess? I've seen parts of it. I don't think I've ever seen it all the way through.

Okay. I'm a big fan of that movie as, like, if if you're like, I love Indiana Jones, but I could go with dollar store Indiana Jones if it hits the right spot. And I think that's one of the I shouldn't say that because the movie is so good. But the never ending story, 16 Candles, and cannibalistic humanoid under dwellers or CHUD. Letterboxed average for this movie, 3.6.

Follow us, won't you? Who are you? What are you? At run at run d m c. I'm at paulaxbadly.

Jess, do you participate in that social media? Good for you. Good for you. Siskel and Ebert, 2 big, very enthusiastic thumbs up toward this film. Rotten Tomatoes, 86.

Metacritic, 70. There I get this ominous feeling that that, like, Jess is gonna be, like, 2. Major break Paul's heart. Major mhmm. Major award.

I took a real risk walking in. Jess took a real risk watching this. We we have a lot on the line here, Ben. Major award wins and nominations, 9 Saturn Award nominations. This is a genre movie after all.

It won 5, including best picture. Ben, talk about people. The director of this movie is Joe Dante. He did Gremlins 2, The New Batch and Innerspace. Watch our or listen to our Innerspace episode and the burbs.

Listen to our burbs episode. Joe Dante. A lot of Joe Dante. Yeah. Writers Chris Columbus, The Goonies, Only the Lonely, 9 months, director of photography, John Hora, RIP, Explorers, Matinee, The Howling.

Music, Terry Goldsmith, RIP, Leviathan, the Russia House, the shadow from 1994 starring Alec Baldwin. You betcha. Producers, Steven Spielberg. He produced, Transformers revenge of the fallen. Oh.

That's the one. Paul's favorite movie. Okay. If you look at your purchase history, though I've probably owned more copies than you, I guess. Than any of you probably have.

Maybe. In terms of purchasing for purchase procuring them. No one's had more different physical copies of that movie in their hand than I have. I will admit that. Also, Kathleen Kennedy did Congo.

Frank Marshall did Congo. Bad gorilla. Bad job, Paul, in this sheet. Bad. Bad bad Paul.

Zach Galligan plays Billy. Who? Waxwork, Infested Warlock, the Armageddon. Phoebe Cates plays Kate, Fast Times at Ridgemont High, Private School, and Drop Dead Fred. Mhmm.

The movie I have not seen, so I cannot claim to be on any TV. What a thing that is. Hoyt Axton, r I p, plays Rand. The Black Stallion, Retribution, Liar's Moon. Judge Reinhold plays Gerald, Beverly Hills Cop.

My name is George. And the Santa Claus, which is a movie I I actually really enjoy. Jess is nodding. I'd have to rewatch it. It's a good it's a good Tim Allen.

You know? What an odd thing to say. Francis, he made a career off just making grunts and dealing cocaine. Come on. Oh, that was his first career.

Alright. Well, to be clear, he made a career off of being Buzz Lightyear. True. His house. Yeah.

For the rest of his life. Couple houses. Frances Lee McCain, missus Peltzer, Back to the Future, Stand by Me, Scream. No one has 2 televisions, dear. Yeah.

Oh, that is her. You're right. She's great. Oh, she is great. Jess, the whole time was, like, this poor woman.

Yeah. We'll talk about her more. We, yeah. Dick. Miller.

RIP. You're fired. Oh, no. I have to cut that with what you're RIP. Here, I'll start over.

Dick Miller, r I p. Mister Futterman, the Terminator, Tales from the Crypt, Demon Knight. Billy. Billy. Oh, yeah.

That's twice now. Corey Feldman plays Pete, The Lost Boys, License to Drive, Dream a Little Dream, Glyn Turman, mister Hanson. Super 8, a movie that is inspired by this as well. Mhmm. Bumblebee, 80 for Brady is a movie I will never watch.

We'll see. Ready card. You got it. Howie Mandel is Gizmo. Little monsters, stipulation, a fine mess.

Nicky Cat is uncredited. Nicky Cat, baby. Boiler Room, School of Rock, secondhand lines. Who is he in this? We rep we rep hard for Nicky Cat on this program.

I don't know. He's some kid. Some kid in the background. Uncredited. It's a horror movie for kids.

It's for kids. Jess. Yep. Fun facts? Some fun facts.

Fun facts. Fun facts. Everybody, it's fun fact time. You're like, good times and noodle salad. In Austria, this was titled kleinemonster or in English, little monster.

In Cantonese, magwai means devil, demon, or gremlin. Question. What? Do you think they maybe should have just been, like, oh, here's this thing that I've never seen before. You're telling me its name.

Maybe I should figure out what that name is. Maybe I should take some sort of interest because, clearly, this thing is dangerous as fuck. We'll get to that. I feel I feel like every time because, like, even showed it off to Corey Feldman, no one was, like, oh my god. What the fuck is that?

Yeah. Let me let me get to my best facts. Sorry. Sorry. Okay.

This was the 3rd highest grossing film of 1984. This movie, Ghostbusters and Indiana Jones, Temple of Doom, spent months bouncing up and down the top 5 weekly earning movies. Good year. Yeah. That was a great year for films.

The sets for Kingston Falls are located on the universal back lot and are the same ones used in back to the future. And as we said earlier, they did shoot on Warner Brothers. So And that this is not an, apparently not entirely true. Maybe some of those sets moved or some of it was here, but it was definitely at Warner. We know that for certain.

They're literally across the street. So there you go. Originally, Stripe and Gizmo were the same character. This changed when mister Steven Spielberg insisted one of the gremlins be a good guy with whom the audience could identify, and I told Ben that mister Spielberg understands cute. He does.

He gets it. He gets cute. I love the idea. Yeah. Yeah.

I I love the idea of Gizmo being great and whatever and the fuck around and find out is Gizmo is the bad guy, but having the cute is so vital. Yeah. Yeah. Chris Columbus's script went through a few drafts before a shooting script was finalized. His original r rated version had the gremlins killing Barney the dog Oh, bad.

And cutting off the mom's head Bad. And tossing it down the stairs. These elements were removed after Joe Dante and Warner Brothers wanted the movie to go in a more family oriented direction. And I'm just wondering, Chris Columbus, who hurt you? But who'd wanna hurt me?

I'm this century's Dennis the Menace. I mean, that is so fucking dark. It's Yeah. So dark. Imagine if he also wanted to do that with Home Alone.

What if what if he just cuts off the burglar's head? What if Kevin just decapitates Mark? And they're like, Chris, we've talked about this. Harry Potter, he wanted some more. You know?

We're gonna find out him and Rob Zombie are best friends. Yeah. Studio execs insisted the removal of the controversial Santa suit monologue. Oh. They felt it was ambiguous as to whether it was funny or sad.

Director Joe Dante, however, refused to remove it, saying it represented the movie as a whole, which had a combination of horrific and comedic elements. Steven Spielberg did not like the scene, but despite his creative control, he viewed this movie as Dante's project and allowed it to remain in the final cut. That's a good producer, y'all. Thank you again, Steve. He gets it.

Otherwise he's saying I need that monologue. I need it. I need it. There there is currently a Gremlins 3 in development at Warner Brothers being produced by Chris Columbus and Steven Spielberg. Well, let's get the old gang back together.

I was actually thinking while watching this. I was glad that no one had mined this IP for more money, but here we go. Me That's silly. Except I saw there's a I saw there was a a cartoon on news. Oh, yes.

There was a cartoon that came out, like, 2,023? Yeah. Or Well, recently. Recently. Very recently.

Well, it's it's good they wanna make sure that the the franchise I guess, now it's gonna be a franchise, not just a a movie and a sequel. Yeah. They gotta you know, there's so much merchandising that has to get moving again. That cute thing. The cute thing.

I mean, Furby was basically designed off of a Mogwai. Right? Oh, yeah. So is which came first? Thundercats or Snarf from Thundercats?

Snarf. I don't know. Snarf. Snarf. What was first?

But this this episode is brought to you by Cute. And, Jess, do you wanna do it, Ben? I liked it when you were gonna do the bad thing. You have to give us your best shot at the log line for this movie. Oh, the I don't I hate doing log lines.

I my brain don't do it right. So happy, everyone. I like tormenting my wife. Clearly. Give me a minute.

Okay. Paul, how are you? I'm hanging in. You know? Did you get to get to the phone?

Paul's not gonna like my log line. What? It's not you you're not giving your opinion in the log line. Of of any of of anybody on the face of the planet to care what they think to to have it be me is insane. Give us the movie in 1 to 3 sentences.

I mean, I would say driven by wanton consumerism, of a father gifts his son an illegally traded exotic animal Mhmm. Disobeying the instructions from the exotic animal dealer who happened to be a child. That's all your friend. Yeah. Destruction and death ensued with little to no consequences.

Maybe much death. This is set at Christmas time. It's a it's for Christmas. Enjoy your Christmas movie, shitheads. It's cute.

It's cute. It's for kids. It's so cute. The log line of this movie yeah. I mean, it is it is all the things that Jess said.

They also did it this way. A young man inadvertently breaks 3 important rules. His new ill begotten pet that he should not have, and unleashes a horde of malevolently mischievous monsters on a small town. Now that's a fucking tongue twister. Okay.

This episode, as we've said, is brought to you by Cute. It's so cute. It's very cute. They're cute. You know who's cute?

It's Rudy the cat. Oh my god. That's it. And COD. Those are gremlins I can get behind.

Yeah. Those are mogwise. They're mogwise. We're gonna take a break. We'll be right back.

Season's greetings. It's Paul from The Review Review, and I'm here to tell you about a cute new product available in our store, the Review Review Ragamuffin. The Review Review Ragamuffin is an adorable 9 inch tall 14 pound living scamp covered in silky soft luxurious fur, 16 hypersensitive eyes, teeth that also have teeth, and a 16 inch long stinging tail that stays hidden unless it decides to attack you, And a purr that will make you melt like frosty the snow based humanoid. Where does it come from? What is it made of?

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This podcast and the holiday season are brought to you by the impossibly cute and impossibly dangerous Review, Review Ragamuffin. Follow the Review, Review at ReviewX2podcast on Instagram, at run b m c, and at paulxbadly on letterboxed. Thanks so much, and back to the show. Quick question. Is Jude Law like the chunk in terms of the skeleton crew?

Do the do the truffle shuffle? Is he who is he? No. Is he Josh Brolin? He's he's a character they find later but there is a There's no Goonies version of Jude Law.

Okay. There's a Hey You Guys character. Okay. But it's a droid. It's a droid.

Great. Okay. I great. Perfect. Sold.

Okay. Well, clearly we're back everybody. Is everybody feeling cute? Are we cute? Jess is always cute.

So cute. You 2 are here. Sam's here. I got my Clifford Robinson glass. Maluele Stone.

I'm good. Wow. I'm so good. We are about to play a game of cinephile for folks who have never listened before. That is a game, it is a card game that has an actor on it and a movie.

Our guest gets to pull first. They get the freebie movie on here, and we'll we'll go round robin, meet Paul back to Jess. 1st person to slip up will share their, share their first experience with the movie gremlins. Do you want the right or the left? The left.

K. Benicio del Toro. Okay. Get the freebie. Oh, I say this movie out loud?

Okay. It's all yours. Fear and Loathing in Las Vegas. That's the one I was gonna go. I'm gonna go with, Star Wars The Last Jedi.

21 grams. Oh, then I have to say 1? Mhmm. No. So we we can give you a hot extra second since this is your first time, and then we I didn't know I was gonna be on the spot like this.

I know. The you jam. It jams you. Strawberry jam or raspberry? Only one man would dare use raspberry.

Lone Star. Are you out? I'm out. Dionisio. I am.

I was gonna say Sicario next. Oh. Well, Jessica, we should we know your first experience with gremlins. Yeah. So give it to us.

Your your first and a half experience with gremlins. Tell us some of your thoughts and feelings and your ranking, please. Okay. I have another to go too deep here. We'll go through it later.

Oh, yeah. We're gonna re we're gonna go through the whole movie best we can. I mean, I think I made my views pretty clear in my log line. Mhmm. So I've been having this interesting experience watching movies of late, like, seeing, really popular new releases and experiencing the movie in several different planes at the same time, whereas I'm experiencing the story of it.

I'm experiencing the performances. I'm experiencing the filmmaking of it. And being able to, like, not like any one of those while, like, really respecting and celebrating, another one at the same time. And I had that with this film as well. You know, we don't get this mid budget movie anymore.

So it was like, oh, man. That's nice to see. And just seeing some of those classic, like, film the the smoke and mirrors up it, like painting the cars white for the snow and, like, all those little, like, film tricks. You know, everything was physical. Mhmm.

Was a physical prop. So that that was, like, really fun to see, seeing the the creature puppets, which were so great and, you know, hearkened back to E. T. And all of that. And, and all the while, just being really frustrated by the story Mhmm.

Being, like, disgusted by these characters, really loving the female characters in this, of which there are 3. So, yeah, I had I had a lot of different experiences of the film while watching it, but it's definitely a fuck around and find out kinda movie. Mhmm. But, again, with, like, next to no consequences to the people who did the fucking around. Everyone else had to find out.

There is no comeuppance for them. Yeah. Yeah. Which which was frustrating to me. Agreed.

What's your what is your ranking out of 5? I mean, I'm just gonna go, like, neutral. I'm gonna give it a 3 out of 5, Mogwai's. Yeah. Okay.

I now this is I'm gonna say this upfront. I think that's a super fair rating. I think I was coming in with something that I feel can be akin to Alien 3 where this this thing, a lot of the time, on paper is, like, yikes a lot of the time. And a lot of what Jess is saying is resonating with me. I just wanna say that right upfront.

Ben? So I must have watched this when I was a kid. I I don't have a lot of recollection of it, but I know for a fact we rented this from Blockbuster. And I hadn't really seen it since then, so watch it rewatching it now was like a nice refreshing, like, oh, yeah. Oh, yeah.

Like, remembering moments. But it had not been a regular watch for me, so I haven't I have not seen it more than when I was a kid and then this morning. I don't know what my ranking would have been as a kid because I just don't really remember seeing it, so I don't have the nostalgia pull. But I had a pretty good time. You know?

And I think there were a lot of tie like, both of us watching it. There were a lot of times where we were like, what what the fuck? These people are not they're they're just kinda dumb sometimes. Mhmm. These poor animals are shouldn't be in people's homes.

You know? And Mhmm. This is this is why people shouldn't buy exotic animals, in general. So and then we were like, is it an alien? Is it exotic?

I don't know. But I asked the same that was my question from earlier. Is it an alien? Like, what what is the thing? And it but as soon as somebody goes, it's a mug, why?

The other person goes, okay. Story comes Yeah. Keep keep going. Yeah. Whatever.

I think it's a super fun movie. I have a blast with the physical props, and I think, that Joe Dante of it all having having been watching so much Dante for this program, it was great to see sort of his his ability to sort of, like, have levity and fun even in, like, the dark moments. And I think this movie, even more than the burbs, goes pretty dark Yeah. And like, becomes kind of like true horror in some way. But I will walk away with 3 and a half American made tractors.

Oh, Kentucky that's a Kentucky harvester. Yeah. I never had a problem with that thing in 15 years. That's a Kentucky harvester. American made.

And then there's foreign made television. Should've gotten a zenith. Oh, yeah. There's gremlins in it. It's not cute.

His little drunken, like, the gremlins in the electronics. Gremlins, gremlins, gremlin. There's a lot of foreshadowing that happens in this movie that I think is effective. I have not really sat and watched and consumed and felt a lot of this movie other than the Phoebe Cates monologue and the bar scene in a long time because I have seen it so many times. I've just picked when to focus on it, and those had seemed to be the two moments.

I think it's so important that all of us are taking away from this, especially in this modern context, and maybe you couldn't see it as much in the eighties. And I have no idea if that's the intention, but it really does, Jess put it perfectly. It has a fuck around and find out. Like, don't respect nature, don't respect animals, don't respect culture, don't respect others spirituality, have some level of xenophobia. You fuck around, you're gonna find out.

Like, you don't respect the laws of nature and the social fabric and stuff. Like, you will reap what you sow. Like and I think it delivers this in this really odd package. And as a very odd person, as you're saying, Ben, like, it rides this really insane tonal wave of, fun and horrifying, especially looking at it in the modern context. I just think, like, a lot of the lessons still ring true and through, and the one person that you can count on shows up in the bookends and says, no.

Don't do this. Like, I I'm the the arbiter, the protector, or whatever of this thing. Don't do this. Yeah. And people fuck around and find out, and he's like, you're not fucking ready.

That I think is such a lame comeuppance for them. I agree. But the I'm gonna jump to the end. Sorry. The idea that the media twists it to be something else because people can't comprehend what it is, that the the information they're getting is true and real, is interesting and cool.

I am fucking a. I'm I'm nervous to walk into this conversation. It's gonna be fun. I have 5 bathroom buddies. Are you not entertained?

Is this not why you're here? I think it is still, like, such a special and strange thing that taught me a lot of lessons. And and as Jess alluded to, there's not a ton of female characters in there. It's like evil, Deagle, and Futterman, and Kate, and the mom, and not a lot. But Kate and the mom, and the I guess there's 4.

You're right. There's 4. Yeah. 33 or 4. But, like, not not many female, period.

That's the point. There's not many female characters. But the couple female characters that get a chance to assert themselves and create a character and make choices fucking kick ass. Mhmm. So that's pretty cool.

5. I'm ready to talk about the movie if y'all are. I mean Let's start the movie. Well, keep it cute. Cute.

So cute. So cute. Cocktail movie. Cocktail Ruby. And now, our feature presentation.

I like that we start, like, in Blade Runner. Yeah. Like, the the amount of movie references in this film. We start in Blade Runner. And he's like, let me tell you a little Christmas story.

We're here in Blade Runner in the in Chinatown. And then we'd get It's a Wonderful Life. Right. Then we we get Alien with the, the hatching of the the gremlins. We keep it all around the movie.

We we get ET. Well, I'm talking about the movie references. Okay. I'm just gonna knock them all out. So this We get ET literally at a point.

Yeah. We get so many oh, Flashdance? Yeah. We get so many movie references inside of this one. Yeah.

And I'm sure many more that I'm not catching. Sure. Same. So it's it's a very, like, it's not self reverential, but, like, reverential to to cinema. Like, a lot of those, it re yeah.

Well, clearly, the it's a lot of homaging. Yes. Yeah. Live there, but, clearly, the gremlins, like, have watched all of movies in like, they they seem to notice. Yeah.

They love it. They love it. Does does knowledge transfer or experience transfer from Gizmo to the offspring? Like, this is the thing is the movie, basically, is, like, the lore the lore is not necessarily important. We'd love you to take some of the lessons, or, like, the way it's built like a horror movie where it leaves a little nugget and then it uses it for a horror moment later or what have you.

That's the way it builds, but it really does not it doesn't leave you answering a lot of questions about, like, the subject of the movie. I don't mind the soft science of it. I don't mean it. It does just enough for me to under to be like, okay. I have a little bit of a problem with the soft science.

Okay. Well, first of all, how how do you how do you guys talk about these things? Do you go, like, chronologically through the film? Yes. Best we can.

Okay. So for some shop, I guess. The exotic animal trade. Who's why are we raising oh, because I was doing this. Can.

Yeah. Oh, yeah. Isn't that cool? Look at that. Is it gonna Zoom is raising my hand, everyone at home.

But The exotic animal trade. It's a very serious thing. It's very sad. We all watch the Burger King. There's a lot of animal cruelty in this picture, you know, with the maggot.

Like, it's clearly a very special animal Yeah. That has no place in in, you know, civilized society. So, like, that should he shouldn't be there. He's kept in, like, a little box. And then, missus Deagle just casually talking how she's gonna kill the dog, of of Billy's.

Billy's was it Baxter? Yeah. Barney. Barney. Question, though.

Like, so, the dad goes to this, like, curios shop, in Chinatown, and he's, like, he's, like, an inventor. He is he just going there to try to sell his wares there? I think so. Oh, ultimately, yeah. He's, like, can you sell this here?

And it does this thing, I think, that's really important where he mentions, like, that you have bad breath, and he does it in a culturally insensitive way and corrects himself. And I there's a part of me that feels like the movie is very upfront in the very beginning saying not only what you're saying, Jess, like, you know, don't mess with forces that you can't comprehend or or participate in things that are nefarious, etcetera, and cruel, but also, like, that these people don't think about that. They just do or say the fur like, there there's a commentary on American exceptionalism and consumerism in this movie that I think, Jess, you said it perfectly. As a perfect as a person who walks into this movie for the first time, I think there's a level of, like, I'm walking away with a bad taste in my mouth. That makes a lot of sense to me.

Like, it's just like the movie's being effective. If you were to look at the screenplay, would it start with interior Chinatown? Exterior. We got that. Exterior.

So they leave the curio shop, and the grandson of the curio shop owner has, out from undersold the Mogwai to the dad with the crappy inventions and everything. And we get this commentary from mister Futterman of his xenophobia, his concern and worry about anything foreign Yeah. Versus his Yeah. Exceptional American Kentucky harvester. Yeah.

Well, I I wanna back up to the, so so we have, the dad going into the shop, trying desperately to sell his wares. That's $200. Yeah. We have this young man or the this child who's just like, we need the money. I am gonna disobey my grandfather about selling this animal, your creature, whatever it is.

And and both of them are just kind of driven by capitalism Yeah. And are, like, victims of this system. Yeah. And and, like, all of this none of this would have happened if people just had their basic needs met. I I yes.

Well and, also, like, I wonder if the grandson was never told exactly. Like, just and he had a level of respect for it. Like, follow the rules. Do not do not do these things. You will be very sorry.

And, you know, he tells the other guy, and, I mean, it all happens by accident, but, like, what do you expect? Like, I don't know. There's already a level of me that, like, it like, there is not already. There's a level of me that gets annoyed with this movie. Like, with the decisions and thoughts and actions of characters.

And not just missus Deagle who now stomps into the bank with the with the snowman head. Yeah. And says that the not only does she not want money for it, she wants the dog to kill it. Yeah. And not just put it down.

She wants to, like, slowly kill it. Death. She said it was in front of a bunch of people and no one's, like, what? The the guy was, like, yeah. You could put it in a dryer.

Yeah. That'd do it. That'd do it. It's Yeah. I was, like, sir, you're helping?

No. It's it's crazy kind of the the way that they, in a couple few scenes, really try to show you that woman's gonna be $36 short on her rent, and, that woman is so cruel. She's gonna kick this other woman that's in her in this house and her husband and her kids out on Christmas for $36. They make her very monstrous. They really wanna It's very Scrooge, mister Potter.

Yeah. Mister Potter. Yeah. Mister Potter. But I love that we get the little Back to the Future square.

Yeah. Here. You know, I don't know. I I it's so nostalgic for me. So that part I agree.

I do have a lot of questions though about if you can't get them wet, what is snow made of? What is so much of the atmosphere, our bodies? But wait. Is it 9 on the East Coast? Is it midnight on the East Coast?

And for Halloween after midnight. Yeah. Until sunrise? There's, like, some sort of there's so many jokes about this where it's, like, these rules in are so fucking ambiguous. How wet?

I guess, how wet. At one drop from a dropper, it'll multiply. So not terribly wet. But not snow? No.

But it can eat chicken from the refrigerator that probably has condensation on it. They were gonna give it soup. Yeah. Yeah. They said, oh, I'll make you some soup.

No. I I it's if y'all have seen not a movie that I don't not a movie that I enjoy, but, Don't Look Now or Don't Look Up. Don't Look Up. At the end of the movie, they show up and they're like, hi animal, and go to pet it and it eats them. Because it's like, yeah.

That's like it's like when they say don't feed it water, that doesn't mean like, well, soup is only 85, 90 percent water. I think no. What does it drink? How does it hydrate? Yeah.

I do I don't know. There's a lot of questions here. Hello, everyone. It's Paul from The Edit. I started to feel like we were doing this, and I feel that it's only right for some of these audience members that need to be fulfilled.

They need to see the canvas painted by the master. I give you a clip from g 2, gremlins 2, the new batch. Are you not entertained? This is not why you're here? Wait.

What if one of them eats something at 11 o'clock, but then he gets something stuck in his tea? Yeah. Like a caraway seed or a sesame seed. Whatever. Right.

Right. And then after 12 o'clock, it comes out. Now he didn't eat that after midnight. Yeah. That's right.

I'm making rules. Okay? Rules. I don't believe this. Oh, wait a minute.

What about this? What what if they're eating in an airplane and they cross the time zone? I mean, it's always midnight somewhere. And back to your podcast. I really like his name is Judge.

Like Jerry, like, just being a dick. Like, all that matters is money. All that matters is the American dream, moving up, crushing your enemies. Like, he, again, is very unlikable. This is actually one of my big things with the movie.

I want that guy to get his comeuppance. Yeah. Like, kinda bad. I'm cur he doesn't really he kinda pops in and pops out. Yeah.

He's only got, like, a couple scenes in the film. Yeah. Yeah. He's not in that much. And, like, I didn't I I didn't not wanna see him come back and die regardless.

I don't know what to say outside of that. So now this establishing of Billy's kitchen, his home kitchen, and his dad's inventions that don't really work, and we're reminded of the rules again. Like, this is a thing the movie keeps doing is telling us about these ambiguous rules. I was thinking because there's all these inventions in this house that his poor family and his poor wife keep having to They're so supportive and patient. Woman.

This woman. I was thinking about how my growing up, my my stepdad was a contractor and would just start projects, like remodeling parts of the house, and they would just go be there, like, in process for months without Yeah. And, like, we were just having to be, like, that's just a bunch of drywall or, oh, and, like, clearly, his wife is just so patient. She'll she's like, yeah. I'll try this stupid fucking remote control phone thing.

Does anybody also think that they they make the coffee and she goes, oh, no, and kinda laughs. And he kinda laughs and he goes, what's wrong with this? Like, I wanted a little more of that too, I guess. Like, they they clearly have, like, some special kind of love or something like that, because he is, by all intents and purposes, a fucking dunce. So it's like, I could make a crappy card shuffler.

I could make a crappy almost anything. I'm pretty sure they have automatic juicers in the eighties. Right? Like, automatic juicer was a thing. So, like, this orange juice thing that creates way more juice than that's the real that's the real Yeah.

Invention is that you create something with so much juice that came out and pulp. How much juice was stuck in there? How long was it saving up that juice? To what decision? But, like, not only it's not just, like, oh, my husband makes quirky things, and he doesn't always get them right.

But he's making things that already exist, thinking he can do better. And he's making them worse. And, like, I don't even understand how they could afford a house in the first place. Me either. And and I'm just like, girl, get out of there.

Like, you can do better. You know? She's obviously miserable. She's, like, chopping onions while she's watching TV in the kitchen, and she just has, like, a mountain of onions. And she's just like, what?

And I feel like they're, like, a weird happy family. You don't get that at all? Like, a weirdly happy kinda you don't think she is? I mean, I'm really interested to hear this. He's an adult living with his parents working at the bank.

Yeah. He's like, what, in his early twenties? 22, 23? Was like yeah. I'm like, what what's your deal, dude?

You live in an attic that looks like it belongs to a 16 year old. Yeah. A little bit. I got a new I thought I thought he was, like, fresh out of high school. I didn't feel judgment young.

To him. Oh, well, I mean, worse at the bank. Yeah. Hey, man. Shit's hard all over.

He lost his money in the Hokkua coin. Have a little fucking respect. Okay? Have a little fucking grace for him. Kidding me?

Like, a an attic an attic bedroom? That's nice. No. I mean, I was I mean, that's dope. I want to go to that.

I was into that attic bedroom. Yeah. Like, it looked cool, but, like, I don't know. He lives with his parents. But also grow the fuck up.

Is that what you're saying, Ben? I live in the basement. He has a job. He's pursuing a nice lady. But that's my question.

He pays rent? No. I don't think he pays rent either. And, like, when his I stood he's alright. I don't I don't think his parents will let him.

But when his dad says, okay. I wanna buy I wanna buy this for my son. I was, like, oh, it sounds probably, like Yeah. 12 or something. You know what?

Judge Reinhold says, you're basically supporting your whole family when they're at the bar. Oh. Oh, he's paying for a lot. That checks out then. I think he's maybe there because he feels like a level of duty maybe now that I'm remembering that.

Judd Reinhold straight up says that to him. I forgot completely. Woah. You guys jog that from my brain. Oof.

Oh, and he's talking about jogging from brains, but poor Gizmo gets his little head smashed or whatever. Wrong with that. So cute. This is the first example of in this movie of no one paying this sentient creature with a soul the proper, like, attention or care or concern. It's like he turns the light on.

He's, like, you know, knocking the little dude around and stuff, and it's like, oh, not no. Not not so much, man. And when Corey, Feldman shows up, and again oh, yeah. It's a Maguire. Oh, cool.

Yeah. Maguire. Yeah. Alright. So, like, they get him wet, and the thing is screaming.

Yes. And Corey Feldman goes, why is it screaming like that? And they're like, I don't know. And then they stop paying attention. Mhmm.

And to me, it's almost like a commentary of, like, just kind of like how it's so fucked up to say this to a degree, but, like, how just people treat their animals and stuff. Yeah. Whatever. Yeah. Yeah.

I don't think I don't think it's fucked up. It's really real. I think a lot of people, like, get a cat, and then they're just like, yeah. We have a cat. I don't really care.

You know? Yeah. Or they or they just, like, oh, well, I can't bring it into my new apartment. You're not gonna get spayed. Like, bye.

I'm not gonna get it spayed or neutered, and it's, like, go through the fucking county. Yep. Listen to Bob Barker. Help help Yeah. Help R.

I. P, dude. Support our pet population. Have your pets spayed or neutered. Yeah.

I think I think the the animal cruelty that was, like, normalized in the eighties Yes. Like, we we it has gotten better. Yes. We it has gotten better, but I think there's still this attitude of of just, like, inattentiveness to Yes. The the pain of animals.

And, so, yeah, whenever poor little Gizmo was screaming Yeah. Because they got it wet, like, oh my god. If that had happened, if I had done that, I I would be, like, picking him up. I would be like, I am so sack and small. Like, how do I fix this?

Like, pat his little booty off. You know? Like, how do you how do you fix him? And and they're just like, oh, weird. There's gonna be 5 more.

Yeah. Popped out all these new little dudes, and Gizmo is clearly upset, terrified in physical pain. And it's like Gizmo's like, this is not good. Yeah. Like, it's like he was the one good out of the whole race of where he's like Yeah.

There really can only be me, guys. You don't understand. And I love how they express how quick they can learn simple things where Corey Feldman's like, blink blink for me, and Gizmo blinks, and it makes the little ting ting sound effect. Adorable. Are they are they offspring or are they clones?

Yeah. That's I was like, how do they reproduce? Are they just clones? Like, is it Yeah. Is it part of his personality?

Yeah. Is he, like, the prime? Like, I don't know how this all works. Anonymous prime? The dad chat also, like, when he has, like, the talk with his dad, and his dad seems kind of mildly impressed by this after I will say the bathroom buddy, if you just squirt the when when he squirts his dad, if you just aim that toward your hand, you're fine.

Toward the session. You'll be able to use the shaving cream, and you're good. It's no problem. You're talking about putting in your hand for Beat Street? Yeah.

So After Ghostbusters. Bustin' makes you feel good. And then you get the okay. So the dad but the chat with the dad, and he's like, I put a razor on the bathroom, buddy, and the whole thing. And the very first thought he has, when the little dudes are, like, playing the Donkey Kong game and there's this little what I think is a great piece of exposition, that's Stripe.

He seems to be their leader. Like, if you're a 7 year old, you're like, okay. Or, like, 8 years old, you're like, okay. Great. Now I know.

Because there has to be a main bad guy outside of Deagle, right, now that we're at that point. But the dad's first thought is, like, we can make money off of this. Exactly. Like and you're like, dude, you fucker. Yeah.

No one at any point is, like, maybe we should, like, call, like, some sort of animal Yeah. Expert or something. Like, what the fuck is this? I have this insane itching, and I feel very hot. There's a foreign animal in our home.

I don't feel well. Yeah. The whole time, I was, like, and this is how pandemics start. Exactly. This is how it happened.

If this movie were remade today, by God. Well, Gremlins 3. We'll see what happens. Yeah. I know.

Yeah. We'll see how, see how much they stick to. I hope a lot of the lore built in Gremlins 2, which all of the lore is consumerism bad, Donald Trump bad. That is a very simple wonderful movie. But the the Barney thing where he's stuck in the lights outside and the bad Mogwai did it, and it's like a dog at first, and then it's a they cut and it's a dummy.

But, like, when he's stuck out there, I'm, like, immediately, like, boil him. Kill him. Like, those those new not a fan. Mm-mm. No.

Thank you. But they're jerks. They're chaos creatures. And Yeah. Yes.

Their little this little, like, sneaky face when he's like They find it all so funny. Like, that's the thing that's so weird for me is like cruel. They're like intentionally cruel and like Yeah. Absolutely. Enjoy destruction and harm.

But also, like, enjoy video games and enjoy, like like, they just they just wanna, like, they, like, they wanna party, but partying also includes somehow having 38 revolvers that are exactly the size you need when you're 2 feet tall to shoot another gremlin in the face. So this is where we meet the the teacher, professor, what have you, and we do the one drop of water, and now we have 2 more Maguai. But but but they're like, we already tormented him once. Let's torment this other one now. Let's watch this magic trick, and, Billy leaves the Mogwai with dude to perform more scientific tests.

So rather than going to a proper authority figure as we had mentioned, this kid's like, I don't know. This guy? Like, I I don't I don't My high school science teacher? Yeah. He does that.

Stranger things too. And, well, he's the AV AV teacher. But it's not like not like doing tests on an animal. Hey. Like like, he drew blood from this thing, and I'm like, what what kind of lab do you have that you like, do you have a centrifuge?

Like, what kind of blood test can you do? In high school, political science. I was wondering if you're not 4 public high school. Like, what are you doing? And then, like, pulling blood from a exotic animal that you know nothing about.

I'm like, that's how pandemic start. And, like, you're keeping it in a cage. It looked like it had a water bottle. What are you feeding it? You don't even know what to feed it.

Like, apparently, people are like, soup, chicken, sandwiches. I don't know. And then you you know the rules. Like, don't feed it, and he's like, I'm just gonna leave my sandwich in front of it. Yeah.

Well and, like, I try to remind myself where it's, like, okay. This is supposed to be approachable for, like, 8 to 10 year olds. Like, movie's gotta happen to a degree. And, like, I do like the Futterman exposition of this is how gremlins work. They are just chaos.

They just fuck shit up as he's wasted. And we see the carolers, which is another little funny, like a piece of foreshadowing for horror, like they do with the sword, like they do with the syringe. And Kate starts to explain, like, not everybody fucking likes Christmas, bro. Like, some of this is, like, really, really awful. Like, what's like, how do you not understand that?

I loved that speech, and I love how earnest she was when she said it. And because it's true. Not everybody likes Christmas. Some people open their wrists. Like, she says, like, some pretty real shit.

Yeah. I couldn't believe for a PG movie in the eighties that she's just casually, like, talking about, you know, unaliving yourself. And, but I I was like, that's real, and I respect that they they had that conversation. A lot of people don't like the holidays. And and Oh, yeah.

Yeah. You know, everything she says is true. I like holidays. I know. No.

Sure. Your your y'all's Christmas tree back there is beautiful. I've been envying it. The video, the there are little things in this movie though where it's like, oh, I didn't know my heart pumped that much blood. Like, I've never really paid attention to that before.

Like Oh, yeah. But they know cats a cat's heart pumped a 130 or it goes a 130 beats per minute. Yeah. Like, that's her normal resting heart rate. Yeah.

That's crazy. The the Maguai tests, like, where he pulls the blood and you're like, fuck you. Fuck you. Like, while he's doing it, like and apparently these little machines, the little Maguai, like, the engineers and special effects people hated them because they broke down all the time and had problems all the time, and that's why they'd use a lot of close ups and just the faces and so on. But, like, when he gets the sandwich, I am happy.

Like, the little Mogwai pulls the sandwich the scientist left after he steals his life force and he he's like, yum yum, and eats it. And this is the the the beautiful thing about this movie, I think, especially if you haven't seen it, and, Jess, please tell me if I'm right, is you don't know exactly what you're you know something is about to happen, but you don't know what. Does that sound right? With the creatures? Like, you know they should not be eating, and if they eat, something very bad is gonna happen.

Well, when it's like Chekhov's gun. Right? It's like you set up these three rules. These are things that you cannot have happen. Yep.

And you're, like, immediately breaking the rules. Yep. But I I'm like, well, clearly, something bad is gonna happen because they're being very flippant with these rules. Mhmm. Yeah.

Yeah. I mean, that whole plate of chicken, that scene is, like, disgusting too. Oh, the close ups and all the saliva and And the way that, Gizmo is watching them, like, like, horrified by them. Yeah. Well because he knows what I think he knows what's gonna happen.

That Yeah. That's something this movie I think does really well. It's, like, don't expose him to bright light, and, like, Billy does it in the bathroom. Don't feed him after midnight, then they feed him after midnight. Like, don't, like, don't or don't get don't expose him to light.

Don't get him wet. He gets it wet. Then they say, don't feed it. It escalates. Like, it's, like, this one is worse than this.

And we get to this this worst one, and he wakes up with fucking alien facehugger eggs. Yeah. All over his bedroom, and he's like, gotta go. See you. But first, he's like, mom.

Mom. There's some weird black eggs pulsating in my room. And they're like, mom. I got movie tickets. I gotta go.

I gotta go. And, like, the scientist dude has got it in the cage and Oh, yeah. The egg in the cage now. Yeah. We get the, like, true gremlins, which are quite a bit bigger than the Mogwai's too.

Oh, yeah. Like, you know, 3 times at least as tall, 2 and a half times as tall. They're quite a bit larger. When I I like where he the the doctor, the professor explains, this is not the putrid stage, although it is. Like, this is the pupil stage.

He's not going through menopause. He's going it's going through a metamorphosis. This is Yeah. It's going to look and behave. It's this is gonna be a totally different thing than what it was how he knows that.

Before. I I mean If something is in an egg and all mushy, it's probably A cocoon. A cocoon. Yeah. But for I mean, like, I guess, like, the closest thing I can think of is, like, a fur very furry caterpillar turning into Yeah.

That that type of thing. With all these cocoons, does Wilford Bingley show? Diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes diabetes disease disease disease disease disease disease disease disease disease disease disease soul You got diabetes Does anybody notice in this in this phone call that the dad and the mom have that there's a dude in a tuxedo that rides by on, like, a big tricycle in the foreground, that's Spielberg. Oh. Isn't that great?

At the conference place? Yeah. The first call that they have. They have the lost in space robot there. Yeah.

Some of these guys are pretty good. I don't know. He's like, my inventions are pretty shitty. Like but you wanna stay married to me. Right?

Why? Who are exotic animals and make crappy inventions? I feel like and then once the gremlins come, it's just absolute chaos. Oh, yeah. When the the eggs hatch, I like the green light effect that they keep using Mhmm.

Actually. I think it's pretty good. And I like that this point, you know, Jess, as we were talking about the taking of the blood, the the horror moment where you see the teacher dead with the syringe in his backside Yeah. Yeah. Where it's like, you do the you get me, I get you.

Like, fuck her on, find out. Nobody asked. Did we ask, should we? Like Do we assume that he killed him by, like, injecting him with air or something? I'm not sure.

Maybe you're who knows what happened in this next year or so? Yeah. We didn't see the top of him. The face. Yeah.

When that, Billy comes in and finds this, and that gremlin is eating glass and saying yum yum, like, to me I'm, like, oh, that these little fuckers are tough as nails. Like, they eat glass for fun. The the mom is gonna Yeah. Who's tougher though, baby? Yeah.

The setting with the mom and the gremlins is great. Yeah. I I love that that you have this, you know, kind of archetypal, like, mom who's married to a bumbling, you know, guy and, oh, honey. But then she has this amazing scene where she outsmarts all of these very intelligent gremlins. Like, she kills them all pretty much by herself.

Too. Yeah. Yeah. And, I was like, did this woman, this actress audition for Ripley and Alien? I almost wanna find this out.

I I saw like, I I was like, oh my gosh. She would have been great in that part as well. She was at the end of her Yeah. She had so much rage. When she was stabbing that thing, I was like my god.

Get in my kitchen. Yeah. When the very first, like, thump happens upstairs after she's seen the eggs with Billy, she hears that noise and immediately grabs a knife. Yes. Yeah.

Like, she's so smart to just be like, nope. And then the second time she gets 2 knives. Yeah. Does does anybody have a favorite? I know this isn't necessarily the best thing, but I've just think the blender thing is great, the microwave thing is great, the treat like, all of these the way that she dispatches all these things are like, the most visceral, Jess, you said is, like, with the knife where she's like, get or maybe Ben said, like, get out of my kitchen.

And you're just like, dang. Like, this lady and it's so smart to grab the TV tray to use as a shield. Yeah. Like, she's she's great. Yes.

It was so great to see, like, that type of character have this really, like, badass survival, like, fight scene, and all of the way she dispatches them are, like, really intense. And so I feel like that's when we start microwave. We we see the syringe in the guy's butt, like, in the in the science class. Panels. But then and you're like, oh, that's kind of creepy scary.

Yeah. But then I feel like it's that fight scene with the mom where you're like, oh my gosh. Yeah. She just, like, microwaved this thing to death. Great.

Like, it it's very yeah. Visceral is a good good way to put it. And, yeah. Good for her. I I just think it's so great that, like, this one sequence is just like a fucking special effects extravaganza.

You have puppets throwing plates and plates breaking and things exploding and blending and spraying and all this stuff. It's almost like watching an evil dead movie to a degree. And, like, when the tree falls on her, when you see the eyes in the tree after you think it's in the stocking, such a great misdirect. And Stripe, like, you know, a cowardly leader would, like, being far away being, like, my little dudes are gonna get her at some point. And you kinda learn if you're brave and you're strong and you're capable, you can go at some of these dudes.

But if there's, like, 40 of them, not so like, it's like when they get the best of the Santa Claus later, but the mom just when she sprays the one in the face and gets it in the microwave, I love it every time. Every time. And the music here too is pretty fucking amazing. Cherry Goldsmith does a great job with the music here. It's it has a nice, like, call to adventure a little bit.

Yeah. The main title is called gremlins rag. So it's like a ragtime. It's like a like and it's it it's jazzy. Like, I like it.

Like, it's kinda toe tapping. So And now we start to realize that the gremlins are very smart, and they pick up a lot of Stripe. Culture. Yeah. And they clearly the when they were in form, chewed through the clock, which made Yep.

Billy think that it was before midnight. They know how to operate heavy machinery. They know there's there's I have so many questions. I'm like, where did they He can read? They can read?

Oh, yeah. Yeah. I dude, this is it when Stripe jumps in that pool at the YMCA and the crazy, smoke and the light and all that stuff. And we know as an audience, it's like, oh, this just made, like, a 1000000 gremlins, and you get Mike Ehrmantraut from breaking bad slash Jonathan Diner. Better call Saul.

He's so great in this role as, like, the cowardly jerky deputy. But this little stop motion gremlin army coming out of just absolute black darkness, that's scary. That was that was a miniature. Right? It it was yeah.

And I think they did it in stop motion, but, like, it looks it looks so like, I have the 4 k of this, and I just think it looks so great. I don't know if I even talked about my first experience because who gives a shit? I've seen it a 1000000 times. I don't remember. But, like, that that's a scary image.

I I really like it. Yeah. I I think that, like, once they take over the town, like, obviously, like, classic horror movie trope, the police are inept. Yeah. What?

Okay. Say it again. Yeah. And And that not only are they inept, they're drunk. Yeah.

Jonathan Banks is drunk. He can't drive. He's drunk. Yeah. Well, you know, it's Christmas.

So you know what? They're all There's no crime on Christmas. Yeah. I I love when they drive the Kentucky harvester through the house, and we get back talking about? That's so great.

Like, they know how to operate heavy machinery. And they just killed 2 innocent people, and then we just, like, move on. Who's innocent that died? The the Futtermans? The Yeah.

Yeah. Oh, they you'll be happy to know. People watch Gremlins 2. We'll just say that. How about that?

Is that better? Watch Gremlins 2. Oh, okay. Feel a little better. Feel so So they they had to retcon that they actually deserved what they got?

No. They did not die. I didn't say that thing, but they did not die. But Diesel Good. Who, is a saint worse.

Is a saint in terms of, like, I'm gonna take care of a 1000000 cats, but that's the only decent thing about her. Yeah. When they throw her out of that window via her chair, it is one of the funniest things in the history of cinema. I don't care what anybody says. It does not matter.

I do not care. It is amazing. I did have to Jess has a disgusted look on her face. No. It just this movie and seeing how all of the people get get killed, how how, like, that was that violence was a vehicle for humor at this at this point in time, and now we're like, yo.

That's not funny. Like, we should not be doing that for humor. You know, because you're like, her shooting out of that I mean, granted, she had it coming, but, like, her shooting out of there in this the ceiling flying and, like, landing on the sidewalk, you know, dead with her feet up, Like, it's a you know, it's it's it's played for comedy. Right. And and it's like, this person just died.

I guess I'm pretty wrapped up in the fact that, like, I find that character to be pretty reprehensible, and I understand what you're saying, but the the visual gag holds up pretty well for me. And I think it's also the the movie kind of shows you that, like, if the gremlins are really enjoying something, maybe you shouldn't be enjoying it. So me as an audience member to a degree is, like, I like this because I don't like this lady, but also, like, the gremlins find this super, super funny. So maybe even though I find this funny, it's like the dichotomy of the monologue. Like, I find a dichotomy in so many things in this movie.

It's like you're laughing, but isn't this awful? Like, don't you feel awful about that? But did you know that as a child or when you were a child No. No. Not at all.

You're just like, that's funny. You know? And so that's kind of, like, where I'm at is that, you know, me as an adult watching this, I can see the commentary it has and and all of this. But as a child, you're you're like, oh, you know, gremlins are fun. They're doing silly stuff.

They just, like, bulldoze those people. And and you're not thinking through all of these things we're talking about. And so that's where I struggle this with with this being, like, children's content. It's a horror for kids. Because all your friends don't care.

Sure. Sure. Which I I'm like horror for kids. I okay. You know what the the movie that scared me the most when I was a kid?

Ernest scared stupid. I was terrible. The boulder that one monster had was I would yeah. I just I think that the things that happen in turn, like, it's like whatever happens with the tractor, like, happens off camera, which apparently never happened because they're in the second one. The visual is so kind of, like, extreme and cartoonish.

Like, it doesn't ever feel like, the the gremlins getting killed feels more real and more visceral for me than the the the evil lady getting launched or, like, the guy who seems like he hates everybody that's not an American, like, getting crushed by a tractor. Like, it's like I don't know. I don't know how I don't know what, if any, lessons this movie is trying to teach necessarily to young people. I find it interesting as being just celebrating my 77th that this movie does a great job of kind of making me deep think in ways that I did not anticipate before. Yeah.

I mean, I think it's it this is that's horror comedy to a degree. Right. You know? I I think that that's just, like, that's the genre. I think about, I just watched Krampus.

Existence is funny and tragic and weird. Cabin in the woods. I think about Shaun of the dead, like, the Mhmm. Maidstone deads. Happen in that that are, like, when you know, that are tragic.

But because it's a horror comedy, there's comedic parts to it. I think the part that you're talking about that I think is maybe more problematic That is gesturing to Jessica? Yeah. Jess. I I don't think they would I don't think now they would make something like that for for specifically for for kids to see.

Yeah. I would certainly hope not. And if it does I think that's just, like, the change that we've had. But I see Okay. These super shitty cops as this poor Santa is getting mauled by gremlins, the sheriff and the deputy are just, like, let's get out of here and just, like, drive away.

They're bad at their jobs. Yeah. Get into a car accident. And now, like, it seems like they're trying to squeeze the dad into a degree. Like, I like the gag of the ashtray to a degree, but it's almost like we need to know he's coming home, but, like, why?

What does he do after he come he doesn't do anything? And why does he bring his dog on his work trips? Because they thought Deagle or Billy was convinced that Deagle was the one who hung him up with the lights. And so he was Barney was gonna go to the grandma's. We're barreling into this.

Can we all agree the some of the visual gags of the bar scene are great and are ironclad? Why does that gremlin have a gun? Why does that gremlin have a perfectly sized boombox? Why why are they doing flash dance? Why do we have a noir gremlin?

Limpstick gremlin. Why is she why is she serving them? Like, it's like how does she understand where did they get to the point where they're like, look, if you light our cigarettes and fill our beers, we won't fucking kill you. Yeah. Like, how did they get to that point?

I don't know, but it's it's a great I think that's an inherently female survival tactic. Like, let me give you what I think you might want because that might save you. Okay. Okay. Like, like, a Kendrick movie.

Yes. Oh, yeah. Nicole? I can of the year? Woman of the hour?

Yeah. Woman of the hour. Yeah. I like that. Yeah.

I didn't think of that that way. That's interesting. Because to me, Phoebe Cates' character was the Hermione of this film. She's, like, the smartest one. To me.

Yeah. She's the smartest one. She knows what to do, and, I wish she had, like, taken the the the lead coming out of that point because I I think the things would have gotten solved before Billy messed things up more. But Yeah. But, yeah, when I saw that and she was serving them, I'm like, of course, she figured out to just, like, give them things they might want to, like, stay alive.

That's a good point. Well, and another point, that you made is, like, she works really well by herself. They work pretty well together. He doesn't work so well by himself. Yeah.

The the movie is also, like, a lot of the better scenes and when the movie is, like, really moving is when Kate is in the movie. Like, we were talking about the kind of speech about why Christmas sucks earlier, and we'll get to the other part momentarily. But when Billy shows up after all these, gremlins have gotten Kate to do all the shit for them, and she figures out, like, bright light is, like, not their forte and starts taking pictures of all of them and Billy shows up. Why did he turn off the fucking car? Did the gremlins turn off the car?

He knows that car doesn't work. I think no. His car, like, shut down. He, like, got there, and then the car stopped working. I assume the gremlins did something.

Or, yeah, fucked it up. So okay. But they they've taken over the town by this point completely and totally. And Kate and Billy are going through the bank. I have performed this monologue.

I love this monologue. I think that it's really solidly acted. The writing is absolutely insane. The idea that this supposedly actually happened is ridiculous. Again, this is another thing where it's like, you know, I I can't help but love it.

I'm so glad Joe Dante wanted it and fought so hard for it, and Spielberg was like, alright. Fuck it. You're a movie. It's ridiculous, but you would really hate Christmas if your dad killed himself by climbing down trying to climb down a a chimney at Santa Claus. I mean, again, like I said, that's Darwinism.

Right? Like, that guy is just an idiot. But but to be to be clear, he didn't purposefully kill himself. No. He he did this and and it killed him.

You know, like, because she mentioned suicide before, so I just wanna, you know, clarify that it's not what happened to her dad. But he, foolishly dressed as Santa and decided to go down their chimney. It's not cute. That's not cute. It's not cute.

It's not cute. It's not cute. Oh, no. It's Paul from the edit again. This is not why you're here.

I think it's only fair at this time that we enjoy consider respect in its entirety, the monologue by the great Phoebe Cates from Gremlins AKA G1, The worst Christmas story ever. Happy holidays. It was Christmas Eve. I was 9 years old. Me and mom were were decorating the tree, waiting for dad to come home from work.

Couple hours went by, dad wasn't home. Mom called the office, no answer. Christmas day came and went and still nothing. Police began a search. 4 or 5 days went by.

Either one of us could eat or sleep. Everything was falling apart. It was snowing outside. The house was freezing. So I went to try to light up the fire and that's when I noticed the smell.

Firemen came and broke through the chimney top, and me and mom expecting them to pull out the dead cat or a bird. And instead, they pulled out my father. He was dressed in a Santa Claus suit. He'd been climbing down the chimney on Christmas Eve. His arms are suited with presents.

It was gonna surprise us. He slipped and broke his neck, died instantly. And that's how I found out there was no Santa Claus. If he dress up like Santa my grandpa used to dress up like Santa. And I remember one time when I was a kid, he he like, I didn't even know he was at my mom's, but he came over dressed like Santa and, like, was on the deck and, like, left some presents.

And I, like, I was only one that saw him. And I was like, sit. And then, like, he he went home. Like, my my grandfather literally lived across the water from where my mom lived. He came over just like Santa, didn't even come to say hi.

I saw him and then left just to keep me believing in Santa. Wow. Like, keep the magic alive. How was 2022? Was that a good Christmas?

It was okay. 202012. I don't know. When was that though, really? How old were you?

I wanna say I was probably, like, 6 or 7. That's pretty adorable. Yeah. That's awesome. It was I mean, my he was Santa in his, town.

So, like Oh, that's cool. Center, he he would be Santa. Yeah. But he did not come down he did not climb down the chimney because he's not a fucking dog. Yeah.

I once she said that because I was like, okay. I I'm on board with whatever this girl says. And, honestly, if that happened when you were a child, it would be traumatic even if it's outrageous. But I'm just like, what is wrong with the men in this town? Like like the like, they're like inventors and layabouts and don't have jobs and don't, like, pay for like, it's really really it it's so stark.

Like, it's really interesting. The the Kingston Falls as a town is wrecked, and Jerry Goldsmith's version of Silent Night over this is absolutely gorgeous. It's haunting. The soundtrack of this movie is so good, and I don't know what it is about Disney and Warner Brothers deciding to crossover in this movie and Roger Rabbit and stuff. Mhmm.

But it, like, totally works for me in the way that the gremlins are just loving Snow White. They're watching Snow White, and they love it. It's so so great. I don't think they would love the live action remake of Snow White. We don't know.

It's not out yet. I can't bad. I can't with the live action. Chose no. I think they to me, they chose that portion of that movie because of their singing.

Like, that's something that they could sing. Yeah. I thought it was so great. And, like, the 3 d glasses and, like, wearing popcorn on their ears and, like, just dancing and partying. And the the way that Kate is, like, kinda directing Billy around the theater, here's where the furnace is, whatever, and they bust out.

They really did blow up a movie theater. It took out windows at a college, like, blocks away. Like, that thing was no joke. That was like Danny McBride, like, tropic thunder shit apparently. The exterior of that movie theater, that's where, when Marty comes back into the eighties, that's where the the DeLorean crashes into.

So cool. Yeah. I I get that same kinda like, oh, like, when I see those little things that, like, hit back to the future. Like, I love that they have this crossover. I had a question though while they're watching the movie.

Couldn't they have just, like, put a bright screen on? Yeah. The screen? I thought the same thing. Like, not the same thing.

The screen. I figured the ones in the first 3 or 4 rows would be pretty fucking pissed. He would probably run to the back of the theater. Well, if they all came from the bar and they were drunk and then they go to the movie theater Yeah. Yeah.

Glasses. Some of them. I I was like, why don't we lock them in there until the sun is up and then let them out and run them outside? Because if it's like Yeah. That's good too.

Sun is the thing that will kill them, Let's blow it up. Yeah. Let's blow up the fucking sun. I mean, I guess if you have an extra $1,000,000 If I blow up the sun. From double o seven villains Let's blow up the sun.

Let's blow up the sun. There's 1,200,000 Earths in the sun. Let's blow it up. Yeah. Which double o seven villain was trying to take the sun?

Orpheus. Chocolate stars? And the cute hot dog water. Hot dog water is so cute. So Spike Spike.

Stripe is like pissed. Like all his babies are dead. Like because he There's kind of this level of that yeah. That of that puppet being like pissed off after he goes out for candy that all his babies got its babies. Babies, the thing, the alien, whatever the fuck it is.

It's, offspring, whatever, got It's children. In like a culture got vaporized. Sense. Kinda right? Yeah.

Yeah. And so we get this final showdown in the Montgomery Ward, and we get the stripe behind ET and, like, get that little little thing in there. And the showdown is pretty effective, I feel. I love that, Gizmo gets a little car. Mhmm.

A Barbie car. It's Barbie car. Great. Hi, Barbie. And he's imagining he's, like, Clark Gable.

It's so great. And he Gizmo his ass kicked. Yeah. Gizmo doesn't help. Gizmo saves him.

Mhmm. But Billy is incapable of fighting this thing. Oh, yeah. Well and also it can use a gun. And a crossbow.

A tiny crossbow. Crossbow. Like, it has perfectly sized crossbows. Why does the store have crossbows? For gremlins.

Tiny, tiny crossbows for 2 and a half foot tall. Gremlins, specifically. It's even made for their claws and everything. They're very cute. When Stripe even sees the fountain and goes, water, and then looks over and goes, gun.

And you're like, oh, well, we know what his plan is. Yeah. Knowing what a gun is, knowing what That's so weird. Break lines are. Like, I just have a lot of questions as, like, how do they learn so much so quickly?

So fast. Like, not only to blink, but to operate firearms and projectors and cars. Fucking strike gets melted. Gizmo saves the day, pulls back the shade. No, dude.

I think that effect is great. Jess, I know that effect is probably a little bit, and when it pops back out, like, does that is it but it is it is it, like, a horror moment? Are you, like, oh, no. Thanks. The, like, zombie mummy thing?

Yeah. Does popping back out of the water and that whole does that work for you, or you, like, miss me with that shit? I mean, after everything I'd seen, I was, like, why not? Why not? Yeah.

So the the old man from the beginning of the movie who was, like, don't no. You can't. It's not. Please, what are you thinking? Comes back, and he's, like, well, you know, I heard that this place was falling apart, so I figured, like I figured it was this thing that My must be here.

I should never let out of my sight ever. Well and it's and he says this beautiful line. You have done what you always do with all of nature's gifts. I think it's such a gorgeous line. Unfortunately, it's not a true comeuppance because they're too stupid to understand the weight of what he just said.

But it's just, like, you're all a bunch of, like, fucking dunces. You're all children. You don't deserve this. It's like when you hear about people who find, like, a baby dolphin on the beach, and they all take photos with it and end up killing it. Yep.

You know? Like, it's things like that where you I swear I heard of that. Or Harambe. You know? Oh, RIP.

We just yeah. It's just yeah. Or or grizzly man, you know, where you're like Yeah. The fuck are you guys doing? Like, this is nature's best for me.

Nature. Nature does not nature is metal as fuck. Nothing Metallica is not even 1 1 billionth percent as nature as metal as nature. Fuck you. I think I'm trying to make that message resonate a little harder than it does in the movie, but, damn, it does resonate with me.

The movie's over. Did we miss anything? I just think the real bad guy here is cab capitalism. I agree. It could be the Peltzer pet.

No. It fucking can't. No. Well, we're all victims, and we're all contributors. Yes.

Oh, man. It's a vicious cycle. It truly is. Only the worst from Bezos. Oh, yeah.

I have some documentaries I'd like to talk about that you should never watch. Jess. Hi. We talked about this film ad nauseam. Yeah.

I had a great time talking about it. You made some excellent points. This was a very snappy, enjoyable conversation. Great. I'm so glad that you allowed me to, push push gremlins.

Uh-huh. Thank you for participating. What would you like to say, and how would you like to rate it? I would love to see a version of this film that is female gaze through Phoebe Cates's character Mhmm. Where she understands what's at stake because not only is a a a female gaze our female characters, but also mother nature.

And she's like, I've got to return this to where it needs to be and seeing a little bit more of the that metalness of nature, and not just some little goofy aliens being Cute. Cute and killing people. Laughing laugh laughing at launching people out of windows for dipshits like Paul's pleasure. Yeah. Yeah.

But I I will say, like, I was surprised that it did go as deep as it as it did with with the, like, you know, not everyone likes Christmas. Sometimes it's really hard. And then also with the well, I guess, environmentalism of the, of of our kind of sage character. So when he came back at the end and said that, I'm like, yeah. Yeah.

But they're just like So good. Oh, we're real sorry about what happened. I'm like, no. You're fucking not. Like Yeah.

There's no consequence for you. Like, everyone else is dealing with it. They gotta get a job. The media the media perverted it Coming. And got them off.

To a decision. Kitchen's destroyed. Yeah. And, like That's it. Wouldn't there be, like, federal agencies swarming this town?

Yeah. And they're just like, well, back to work, I guess. And so there's, like, a very, like, like, awash smokeless ashtray? Yeah. Like, an aw shucks ending to it.

Yeah. But, you know, I'm I'm not, like, looking to to rewrite this because, you know, I think it achieved what it wanted to achieve. Okay. And it clearly made tons of money. The are just really cute.

So what's your is your ranking Oh, it's it's gonna be the same. It's gonna be 3? 3 3 out of 3. We failed, Paul. 3 out of 5.

Okay. Oh, 3 out of 5. Sorry. Thank you. No.

It's okay. I I don't feel like I failed. I think we had a really, really lively, very good conversation, and I still have hope that I brought you up and that I'm not gonna come down after all of this talk and all these ratings. Paul, you always bring me up. You know what I mean?

Yeah. And you always bring me down. Let's go to Beat Street. Boston makes me feel good. I'm going to 4, baby.

Real cute. 4. He's going to 4. Yes. Yeah.

This is a fun movie, and I love I just love Joe Dante, and I think that, like, yes to everything everyone said today, but I think also, like, 1984. Yeah. Yeah. Sure. And I love the world that it kinda builds.

I think I actually like this more than the burbs and Yeah. More more than inner space. Mhmm. I think in terms of character design and, like, the stakes of it all and the world building and the creature designs, I I I just think it's it's a really fun, solid Christmas movie. Awesome.

Yes. Great. And I don't imagine Paul's going down. So Yeah. Why don't why don't we talk about this as a Christmas movie?

Like, we talk everyone talks about Die Hard as a Christmas movie. I agree. Like, I think Die Hard's a Christmas movie, and now Gremlins is clearly a Christmas movie. Yep. I've watched them both, around Christmas for years.

Gremlins more than anything else, but I agree. Are you, Christmas day going to Nosferatu? Absolutely. Nice. No question.

Well, it's down to me. Yep. So I have an interesting bit of news, I guess, which this almost feels like a bastardization. This feels wrong. I'm gonna put a heart on it.

Now, basically, what that signifies on this program, if you don't already know, means that this is not necessarily a great movie, but you should definitely watch it. And I think it might be the greatest of those of all of times. This is a very important episode for me, y'all. Yeah. Because it's a thing where it's, like, I did not expect to go into this movie and be, like, holy shit.

American exceptionalism, bad. Patriarchy, bad. Consumerism, bad. Like, so many of these things, I think, are painted in a really, a really appropriate, kind of, like, negative light. And I think Jess makes a really good point of it's like, okay.

But now you're 8. Yeah. Like, how the fuck are you supposed to know? I do think it definitely landed a lot of stuff with me where it's like I didn't think that doing things that the gremlins did was a good idea or anything. But, you know, I did and still do definitely find it funny.

But I'm gonna give it, 5 bathroom buddies with a heart. It's It's so technically good. It's such a good movie. It's so well made, and it's so well written, and beautifully scored. Phoebe Cates is incredible in the movie.

But, there is so much about the movie like we said. It's like, this would work better as a TV series, and the Duffer brothers agreed. So, I hope that y'all are inspired to watch 2 together. I actually am. Yeah.

Okay. I'd watch it. I'd watch it. It's a totally again, it's just like consumerism bad, and in the eighties, mind you, Trump bad. Like, these things are bad.

And that's it. And and today. What? So that's a great thing about these movies, I will say, is concept of this podcast. A lot themes resonate.

Checks out. I wanna say before we go to all of our listeners, I hope you all find some light and warmth in this Yeah. In this holiday season Absolutely. And, spend some time with the people that you love or bring you joy. And, thank you for listening to, 2 idiots and their friends.

And if you do choose to bring a furry friend into your home for the holiday season, which a lot of people do, please make sure you can carry for that furry friend for the rest of its life. Absolutely. It is a member of your family. Your soul and their soul intertwined whether you like to believe it or not. I'm just gonna push my personal narrative and belief.

Also, if you're listening to this on 12/24 or right around, we are in the middle of a survey. We want to know your favorites between The Bodyguard, When Harry Met Sally, The Firm, and Argo. That will be our you choose the review. That will be our first one of those in 2025, so please participate. Our bookends are Jamie Henwood.

What are we watching, and how are you doing? Is Matthew Foskett? Fun facts, is Chris Olds? Ben, do you? Is there?

I do a couple of interstitials. Woah. You can also follow me, on Instagram or Letterboxd at runvmc. You can follow me on Letterboxd and only Letterboxd at Paul acts badly on Letterboxd. Babe, do you have any oh, I called you babe.

Jess? But keeping that on It could be Jess. Keeping that. Jess, do you have any, things that you prefer anywhere Yeah. That you can follow me on Instagram at Jessica Aaron Martin.

I love it. Thank you so much everybody. Follow us at reviewx2podcast and very, very, very, very, very happy holidays. Hug your friends, loved ones, especially the the furry ones. Bye.

Ho ho ho. Hi, everyone. This is JJ, the cofounder of Goodpods. If you haven't heard of it yet, Goodpods is like Goodreads or Instagram, but for podcasts. It's new, it's social, it's different, and it's growing really fast.

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