Good Burger / Shut it Down (Guest: Mellinda Hensley)

BLORPT! Returning guest Mellinda Hensley arrives at The Review Review drive-thru window with her choice “Good Burger” (d. Robbins 1997). In this episode, we ask that eternally unanswerable GLOOOOP! question, “Welcome to Good Burger... home...of the Good Burger....Can I take your orrrr” 💥 No. No you may not. GAK! Also everyone is fired. Also the building is condemned. That was actually really easy. Lesson learned. KERSPLOOOSHIGHK! And isn’t learning lessons the most important thing of all? NOPE! Adults suuuuuuuuck. POOOOOOP. 9/16!

More Mellinda:

Season 1 - "Heathers"

Season 2 - "The Iron Giant"

Transcript

SPEAKER_02 0:00

Didn't you have a thing you wanted to do here?

SPEAKER_03 0:02

I think I'm going to let that go, especially considering that's where this will end up or whatever it was I just said. Were

SPEAKER_02 0:12

you going to sing, it's all that?

SPEAKER_03 0:15

I'm a dude. You're a dude. He's a dude. She's a dude. We're all dudes yet. Welcome to the Review Review Podcast, home of the Review Review Podcast. Can I take your format?

SPEAKER_02 0:30

That was really good.

SPEAKER_03 0:31

New, new. We've got two new. We've got debate, debate. What do you want?

SPEAKER_02 0:37

Okay, everybody. Welcome to the Review Review. You have just tuned in. If you are surfing the channels on your podcast station, I don't know. What's wrong

SPEAKER_03 0:49

with you? Bienvenue, dude.

SPEAKER_02 0:52

We're in 1997, so I imagine you're surfing on your Ford Taurus looking for something to listen to, and you have found a movie podcast. What is this podcast, you might ask? Well, we are a podcast where we have a guest. That guest brings us a movie, something that they feel passionate about, and they ask us here to watch it. They say, watch this, and we watch it, and then we come together and we talk about what our rating out of five is. And I am one of your co-hosts. My name is Ben.

SPEAKER_03 1:19

I am your other regular co-host. My name is Paul.

SPEAKER_02 1:23

And today we do have a guest, and it is return guest Melinda Hensley. Hi!

SPEAKER_01 1:29

Hi! The crowd goes wild. I hear it now.

SPEAKER_02 1:35

Like we just blew up a... Did you know that Mondo Burger is a dentistry?

SPEAKER_01 1:40

That makes... Like just looking at the exterior of it, that totally makes sense.

Guest Intro

SPEAKER_03 1:44

Does anyone else think that someone showed this to RFK and they're like, this is a documentary? And he was like,

SPEAKER_01 1:50

totally, dude. They're doing their food, dude. They're putting shark poison in the food.

SPEAKER_02 1:59

Those

SPEAKER_01 1:59

poor sharks.

SPEAKER_02 2:00

If you haven't caught on yet, the movie that we're doing today is Welcome to Good Burger. Can I take your order? It's Good Burger. But before we get to Good Burger, I want to talk about us. Melinda, we haven't seen you in a while. How are you? Tell the people, what have you been doing?

SPEAKER_00 2:24

What you been doing?

UNKNOWN 2:24

What you been doing?

Whatcha Been Doin'?

SPEAKER_01 2:38

I directed a music video back in January that I'm super jazzed about. We're just about to finish Color On It and it should be ready in like two, three weeks. So maybe by the time like this drops, it'll be out in the world. Song's called Quiet Place. Artist is called Pisha, P-I-C-H-Y-A. Everybody should go look her up and listen to her. She's great. But I really, really enjoyed making that music video. I think it's where I finally, like I felt really at home as a director doing it and I wanted do more of them. So if you listen to this and you make music and you want to have someone make a cool thing with you, I would love to do it. Aside from that, been like doing writing and all the other general good stuff. So

SPEAKER_03 3:20

is the music video conceptual? Is it? Yeah. Tell me a little about it.

SPEAKER_01 3:25

A lot of inspiration came from like late 90s, early aughts kind of grunge cyber stuff. I made it. I made like two different mood boards for her. And I was like, here's one that like kind of this one's like a little more more vibey and this one's a little more narrative and she really gravitated towards like the vibes uh

SPEAKER_02 3:43

must mention the doug loves movies t-shirt that just

SPEAKER_01 3:46

uh oh yes yeah

SPEAKER_02 3:47

bye

SPEAKER_01 3:48

my boyfriend eric is a big fan

SPEAKER_02 3:49

me

SPEAKER_01 3:50

too but uh we basically we did one day of shooting inside a studio where we did my dp chris cuthbert is phenomenal i couldn't have asked for anyone better we did a lot of like really fun light play stuff put her in front of a tv wall we did some really cool stuff there was at one point where we were shooting like a video recorder, like camcorder. So the footage kind of takes on that vibe. Part of the song is about like moving home. So I was like, hey, would you mind if I put you in the back of a U-Haul? And we like shot out the back of a U-Haul and we framed different parts of LA behind you. And it turned out really cool. I'm really excited about it.

SPEAKER_03 4:25

That's awesome. Can you say the name of the artist one more time?

SPEAKER_01 4:28

It's Picha, P-I-C-H-Y-A. She's great. And on Spotify. And the song that for the music video is called Quiet Place.

SPEAKER_03 4:38

Excellent. She's

SPEAKER_01 4:39

awesome.

SPEAKER_03 4:40

Ben? Yeah? What have you been doing?

SPEAKER_02 4:43

What have I been doing or why am I excited? Which one have we gone with today? I can't talk about it

SPEAKER_03 4:47

anymore. I think we'll go with doing today.

SPEAKER_02 4:49

Here,

SPEAKER_01 4:51

take two of these.

SPEAKER_02 4:52

Well, I'm going to talk about why I'm excited. You? I'm

SPEAKER_00 4:57

going to say

SPEAKER_02 4:59

it just like this movie does and subverts your expectations, right? Because it's so subversive.

SPEAKER_00 5:05

You don't expect anything that's going to happen. I will. At any moment.

SPEAKER_02 5:10

I think I'm excited these days because we're wrapping up towards one of my favorite hobbies in past times, which is fantasy football. It's a thing that I quite enjoy. And this season's already off to a fun start. And so I have three drafts in the next three weeks. And I've been diving into podcasts, watching Hard Knocks, you know, doing all the stuff. The league's been around for about 16 years. You know, we've had a lot of turnover in terms of, uh, members, but there are some OGs still around. And, um, yeah, it's fun to like, just connect with people and talk shit. And, uh, you know, most of the games luck anyway. So, you know, you can do all this research and, and it doesn't fucking matter. Paul, what are you doing? What do you got? What are you excited? What are you, what are you excited? What should I'm

SPEAKER_03 6:01

excited about what I've been doing?

SPEAKER_01 6:03

Okay. Hey, I like that. I can't

SPEAKER_03 6:07

make that. joke. What I've been doing is hunting for Criterion. Is that 50% off? Just passed us. And now Arrow Video is 50% off. We're in the throes of that. And so, I've been indulging my physical format media love and collecting and got Videodrome, Criterion, Arrow. I got Long Kiss Goodnight for 20 bucks, which I was super excited about. And the The original three Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles

SPEAKER_01 6:42

are

SPEAKER_03 6:43

being released by Arrow Video. And I had to snag that immediately. So I'm excited to receive some of these things in the coming weeks.

SPEAKER_01 6:55

May I shamelessly plug one more thing I'm extremely excited about? Apologies. No, please. I don't know if any of y'all are like D20 fans or CritRole fans, but Graham Wentz to... wanted to start uh and his buddy alex wanted to start a similar show uh to that where i'll be a cast member for the first time like i'm gonna be congratulations i'm gonna be i'm gonna be role it's like it's very like web series it's very bootstraps we're pulling it together but we're all really excited about it essentially we're all in hero rehab because we've all fucked up in some way or another on our quest to be heroes and now we've like gone into this rehab where we have to go through different uh we have to all of our different stories or campaigns are like us trying to really reach hero status and graduate from Herb's Hero Rehab. In the same way that I felt really welcomed back into D&D as a super beginner and I got to have a lot of fun, I feel like that's the heart of what the show is. It's just making it super accessible.

SPEAKER_02 7:51

If Critical Role wasn't five hours an episode, I would watch it more.

SPEAKER_01 7:56

It's fun being a nerd.

SPEAKER_03 7:58

Careful, though. Those dice could be loaded. I mean, maybe make sure you get those dice. Order them loaded, you know? I'll

SPEAKER_02 8:09

take all the advantage I can get, right? We need to move on, Paul.

SPEAKER_01 8:12

It's true.

SPEAKER_02 8:14

We need to move on, because I'm curious. Melinda, what have you been watching?

UNKNOWN 8:19

What am I watching? What are we watching? What are we watching?

What Are You Watching?

SPEAKER_01 8:34

have I been watching? Okay, I started Mad Men for the first time. Oh, nice. I had never seen it before. I started it about two months ago, and we're three episodes away from being done with the whole thing. Wow. I flew through it. I can't believe how... I didn't expect to love it as much as I did. Boy, is it great. The first couple episodes, I was like, I feel like these are just men monologuing at each other about ads. And I wasn't sure how to feel about it. I really wanted to see like don draper lose that was really important not because i hated him just because it felt like he could do no wrong so it felt really good when they made him and i i think it was always the intention but like felt really good when they made him work complicated and wow i'd never really seen i haven't watched handmade still or anything but like elizabeth moss just crushes it kills it uh i related to peggy more than i'm willing to admit like it was really good i loved it a lot

SPEAKER_03 9:29

i really appreciate that you said it took a couple few episodes to like really get into it it took me seven or eight episodes to get into that show that is the show i always point out that i felt like the grind was worth it

SPEAKER_01 9:42

to be honest peggy was my entry like my access point like when she had all the anyone listening should watch it so i'm not gonna like spoil it like her journey in season one i think mad men is more about the women than it is about the men and so like it's interesting to like figure that out as you go through season one and i latched on to peggy real quick which made don more tolerable but real great so yeah but watching that and I also did a not back-to-back but day in the next day went to go see the naked gun and then weapons the other oh my god what what great movies I'm so like that made me really excited I'm like oh it feels like a really fun comedies are kind of like back in business which felt really cool and then I don't think Zach Greger can weapons interesting

SPEAKER_03 10:30

that these are directors that come from sketch comedy comedy backgrounds and we're talking about a movie that is from a sketch comedy series that's interesting to me because i'm a weirdo ben yeah you've been watching

SPEAKER_02 10:46

that video i saw jurassic park at the la philharmonic at the hollywood bowl with the live with dude doing the conducting it was so fucking cool and i love that movie paul was thinking about how during our last crusade episode we were saying like there's never a time that i would be at There's never a time I'd be upset to watch Jurassic Park. It is a movie that is rewatchable constantly. Even after we watched it at the Hollywood Bowl the next day, I could put it on again.

SPEAKER_03 11:16

Two five-star movies.

SPEAKER_02 11:17

Yeah. And watching it with the live orchestra was so cool because at times I'd forget that that was live. And I always think that's so impressive timing-wise. Yeah, they're syncing up with the movie track. And also, there were other times where I was really tuned in because you would hear instruments that maybe in the mix or whatever of a blu-ray or even a streaming it wouldn't be as prominent but you'd hear it live in a way that like hit differently and the way that williams kind of like uses his themes i think we can all agree that that's probably one of the best movie theme tracks like in terms of creating a theme ever it's

SPEAKER_03 11:56

so iconic yeah it just feels like sorry okay

SPEAKER_02 12:02

sorry universal reach out

SPEAKER_03 12:04

Yeah, literally reached out into my space just now. Okay, we're done. All right. Sorry,

SPEAKER_02 12:11

Ben, go on. This episode is brought to you by Cease and Desist. Cease and Desist. You want one, you know?

SPEAKER_03 12:17

Don't do that.

SPEAKER_02 12:18

Don't do that.

SPEAKER_03 12:19

Don't do that. Oh,

SPEAKER_02 12:22

don't

SPEAKER_03 12:22

do it.

SPEAKER_02 12:22

And then I started Alien Earth on FX, the new Noah Hawley Alien series. We just watched one episode, but I quite liked it. That's me.

SPEAKER_03 12:33

Wow. Wow. What I've been watching, I could go over several of the things that y'all just said even. So look at us go. But I am planning to tell you that I'm re-watching Portlandia.

SPEAKER_01 12:44

Woo! Being

SPEAKER_03 12:46

so many years removed and also never having finished it, I was like, oh, this is way more seasons than I realized. It's just a very strange, nostalgic journey.

SPEAKER_01 13:01

So go back to the club.

SPEAKER_03 13:02

Portland has always been such a way in my entire life. I mean, I'm 77. I have a broken ass and everything. But the things that have always existed in terms of Portland and the way it's kind of been populated in the energy of it and whatnot I remember having a discussion with a prominent actor told me they were very upset about their property value in Portland because it had become something that it shouldn't be and it was like oh but you're just talking about Portland alright whatever but it's such a funny show So that I didn't expect to be so kind of timeless for me, partially because I'm from here. And there were things that I kind of took personally at a time, again, like where it's like, don't be talking about Portland like that. And now I watch it. I'm like, yeah, wow. So on the nose. And I also rewatched recently, The Whitest Kids You Know. I rewatched recently, like, what other sketch comedy did I rewatch? The State. So like, I've been on this run of this stuff, but like recently. portlandia and it just scratches an itch that i almost didn't even realize that i had so that's been kind of cool

SPEAKER_01 14:22

for sure kyle mclaughlin is the mayor

SPEAKER_03 14:25

can kyle mclaughlin recurring as the mayor winery the event of vintner he's a can you name his winery

SPEAKER_01 14:33

pursued by bear

SPEAKER_03 14:34

yeah

SPEAKER_01 14:36

it's no i've had a bottle it's delicious

SPEAKER_03 14:39

yeah that was a good job that was very quick like well

SPEAKER_02 14:41

and he named it after his time as a performer in ashland because he was an actor in Ashland early in his career

SPEAKER_03 14:48

at most shakes at shakes yeah yeah well we've talked about what we've been doing and why we're excited about what we've been doing or why we've been doing what we're excited about and we've been talking about what we've been watching Ben let's talk about the movie

SPEAKER_02 15:05

you need some facts on that burger

SPEAKER_00 15:08

Theology is the search for fact.

SPEAKER_03 15:14

Yeah. Just don't give me the audio with the facts. I don't need the audio of the burger being built and deconstructed. I don't need it at all, Nickelodeon. I know you think I need splat, glop, moist, glub, stink. I don't need it. Well,

"Good Burger" Facts

SPEAKER_02 15:30

we're also doing Double Dare in the back, so...

SPEAKER_03 15:33

Yeah. I'm out. You get slimed with your burger. I'm out of here. I have to go. have no interest in doing something dangerous that is dangerous

SPEAKER_02 15:41

no dangerous it's just slime we're doing good burger that pink

SPEAKER_03 15:44

sauce is dangerous

SPEAKER_02 15:46

i can't do that the entire time good burger was brought to you by nickelodeon uh the opening nickelodeon i had a lot of uh nostalgia feels for nickel i i grew up just loving nickelodeon it was oh

SPEAKER_03 15:57

same

SPEAKER_02 15:58

prime yeah

SPEAKER_03 15:59

rugrats and real monsters and double dares you said

SPEAKER_02 16:02

yeah nickelodeon tall tolan robbins paramount sure rated PG, not G.

SPEAKER_01 16:11

We got ass in there, that's why. We got Abe Vigoda's character throughout next. Couple asses. Couple

SPEAKER_03 16:18

asses? Couple of ways of how you get Ed Sauce that are explained

SPEAKER_02 16:22

graphically. Abe Vigoda had to do this. This is from 1997. A genius? It is an hour and 35 minutes, which I can tell you is a straight up lie because it was clearly two and a half hours.

SPEAKER_03 16:35

Correct! No! This was the longest episode of all that. This was a director's cut of brunch special or whatever. Yeah, this is nuts.

SPEAKER_02 16:48

The budget of this movie is$9 million, which adjusted is$18 million. They spend more money on TV shows, single episodes.

SPEAKER_03 16:57

Yeah, the glue budget on this was crazy.

SPEAKER_02 16:59

And the foam budget. Foam. They're like, do we have any things that look like meat? I got all this foam and garbage bags great

SPEAKER_03 17:10

can you just staple it to that kid's costume at the end no problem

SPEAKER_01 17:14

can you let it melt for a little bit can you like make it look as humanly possible that'd be great

SPEAKER_03 17:19

normally we just tape a bunch of cats together

SPEAKER_02 17:21

opening weekend was july 25th bullish yeah 1997 uh it made seven million dollars uh adjusted that's 14.16 final gross north america 23.7 which is 47.7 adjusted final gross worldwide same i mean kids are dumb yeah yeah kids are dumb other releases this weekend air force one i didn't do anything i don't care get off

SPEAKER_01 17:51

my get off my burger get off my wife

SPEAKER_02 17:55

i didn't do anything get out of my burger no uh get out of my uh milkshake

SPEAKER_03 18:02

milkshake machine yeah my flying milkshake machine to the sun you

SPEAKER_02 18:08

Weekend top five, Air Force One, Georgia the Jungle,

SPEAKER_03 18:13

Men

SPEAKER_02 18:14

in Black. Go ahead, Paul. Contact. Oh, I was going to have you do your quote from Men in Black that you always do.

SPEAKER_03 18:21

Which one? Whoopsie. I do that? Edgar. Oh, you mean in private? I thought you meant on this. I was like, oh, I felt like a real Edgar. Edgar, the skin is hanging off your balls.

SPEAKER_02 18:36

That's good. Thank you. Contact and this movie. Other films from 1997. Masterminds, Free Willy, Three, The Rescue. You mean three

SPEAKER_01 18:45

of those? They made a third one.

UNKNOWN 18:46

it's

SPEAKER_02 18:47

I feel like they made a lot of them. They were all straight to D or straight to VHS at this point.

SPEAKER_03 18:53

Talk about bleak

SPEAKER_02 18:54

gang related Cole, the conqueror Uli's gold, the postman Evita

SPEAKER_03 19:01

weird list, but

SPEAKER_02 19:02

box average 3.2. If you're not on letterbox, it's where we get our five star rating system. You can follow me on letterbox at run BMC.

SPEAKER_03 19:12

You can follow myself on letterbox at Paul acts badly. Melinda Do you have a Letterboxd?

SPEAKER_01 19:19

You know, every time I'm on, you ask me that question and I go, you know, I really should start Letterboxd. But now that I'm like actively kind of flying through movies, I really should. I don't have one yet. But if I get one, I'll let you know.

SPEAKER_03 19:30

Our main goal apparently is to get more people to use Letterboxd and Letterboxd is like, we don't care. Yeah. We don't care that you're doing that. Have a good day or a bad. We don't care.

SPEAKER_02 19:42

We don't. Have a good burger. You know, who knows? Cease and desist, please. Cease and desist. Please stop mentioning us on your podcast. Taking a sip of my coffee.

SPEAKER_03 19:55

We're also about to get a cease and desist from the estates of Siskel and Ebert.

SPEAKER_02 20:01

because they were two thumbs way down on this movie. Rotten Tomatoes score 33%, 33.3333. Popcorn Meter is a meager 63%. Metacritic 41, 7.4 user. Major awards and wins and nominations. Not even a Nickelodeon.

SPEAKER_01 20:23

Not even a kid's choice?

SPEAKER_02 20:24

Globie or whatever they call

SPEAKER_03 20:25

them.

SPEAKER_01 20:25

They

SPEAKER_03 20:25

didn't even keep that at home. They didn't even keep it in the circle. What did they call those? oh the blint yeah yeah

SPEAKER_02 20:34

that's right didn't they do a broadcast yeah they did an NFL broadcast on Nickelodeon

SPEAKER_03 20:39

and it's dangerously yeah that was weird CG imposed over yeah slime they slimed people and people say we don't need AI people are fucking dumb the director of this movie kids are dumb kids are dumb cease and desist with that joke think of the children director of this film is Brian Robbins meet Dave Norbit the perfect score writers Heath Seifert mostly Nickelodeon TV you don't say and Kevin Coppola mostly Nickelodeon TV also Dan Schneider big fat liar that's the name of the movie

SPEAKER_02 21:18

you know what's funny as I was watching this movie I was thinking very I was thinking a lot about big fat liar because I was just like is this what passed as entertainment in 1997 and I was thinking about Big Fat Liar a lot.

SPEAKER_03 21:34

Is that what passed for entertainment in 2002? I

SPEAKER_02 21:39

mean,

SPEAKER_03 21:39

that Frankie Muniz, Paul Giamatti vehicle? The Paul Giamatti vehicle?

SPEAKER_02 21:46

And if you go on the Universal Backloft tour, they still show clips from that because of the flood section. They use that in Big Fat Liar. And I'm like, are we still referencing this movie? Anyway.

SPEAKER_03 21:56

I mean, we are. Director of photography of this film was Matt Jack Allberg, RIP, From Beyond, Robot Jocks, Striking Distance. Has anyone seen Striking Distance with Bruce Willis?

SPEAKER_01 22:09

Negative.

SPEAKER_03 22:10

If you are into unnecessarily heightened thrillers that have a very kinetic 90s energy but look like a giallo movie, I'm just going to try to break this down the best I can. Imagine the guy who directed Roadhouse was like, I could do a giallo movie starring Bruce Willis set on the water in New Jersey.

SPEAKER_01 22:29

Great.

SPEAKER_03 22:30

It's great fun music Stuart Copeland yes that's Stuart Copeland from the police rumblefish she's all that fresh producers Brian Robbins coach Carter Mike Tolan radio Keenan Thompson played Dexter snakes on a plane bros they came together I think you just went into the bathroom you shit in your suit you took it off then you took a shower and then you just left your your suit sitting there filled with shit i don't know if anyone understands

SPEAKER_02 23:05

i did not understand what you're talking about

SPEAKER_03 23:06

that is keenan thompson to a dead serious deadpan and this is why that movie works so well it's got a naked gun thing about it where everyone approaches everything so seriously and christopher maloney being like i think someone else went in there when i went and took my costume to take a shower and they pooped in the costume because it wasn't me i have to leave this party you have to cut all that too probably including ken kel mitchell dell the adventures of rocky and bullwinkle no that's completely wrong kel mitchell was ed the adventures of rocky and bullwinkle good burger two mystery men listen to our mystery men

SPEAKER_01 23:54

episode where did you get fantastic movie

SPEAKER_03 23:56

i don't know i probably didn't you didn't delete something from the last Last one. I'm so mad at you.

SPEAKER_02 24:03

Sinbad. This is just a template that you use?

SPEAKER_03 24:06

Look, you as an adult, this is your fault that my summer is ruined. I stole my mom's car and was driving it around perfectly, stuntily, precisely, and you tried to get in my way by making me accountable, and it's your fault. Sinbad was Mr. Wheat. Houseguest Jingle all the way. Put

SPEAKER_02 24:32

the cookie

SPEAKER_03 24:37

down! It will happen, Ben. It will. We will manifest it.

SPEAKER_02 24:43

Holidays are coming, Paul. It's true.

SPEAKER_03 24:46

And The Meteor Man, a movie that came out on August 6th, the worst day in history. Abe Vigoda, R.I.P. Otis, The Godfather, North... Look who's talking. What was Chris Olds's? Oh, right. The adults are conversing. His was funny. Char Jackson was Monique. Reboot camp, toxic, love and basketball. Dan Schneider played Mr. Bailey, the head of the class from television. I watched that. Did anybody watch that? I want to say Billy Connolly did a season Maybe more. Sir Billy Connolly. Jan Schwiderman was Kurt. Fallen Arches, Warlock 3, Along the Way. Ron Lester, R.I.P. was Spatch. Not Another Teen Movie, Varsity Blues, Racing Legacy. Josh Server was Fi... Fizz, Await the Dawn uploaded The Final Rose. Was that the prequel to The Bachelor? I think that's a fair question. Yeah. It sounds fun, though.

SPEAKER_01 26:02

Yeah. And Josh was, I think Josh was the only cast member to last all six seasons of all that.

SPEAKER_00 26:08

Oh, that's a fun fact. Fun facts, fun facts, everybody. It's fun fact time. You have more of those. Because

SPEAKER_01 26:16

I went down a little bit of a Josh rabbit hole once I saw it. I saw him in there. So, so many people are in this movie. There's Linda Cardellini, who was in Mad Men also. What a weird tie-in in later seasons. I do

SPEAKER_02 26:28

love Linda Cardellini.

FUN Facts!

SPEAKER_01 26:29

Same. Shaq's in this movie. Carmen Electra's in this movie. Marcuse Houston, who's still making music. Robert Wool and George Clinton, who is super funky.

SPEAKER_03 26:40

Why is Shaq surrounded by football players, by the way? Clearly, those are football players.

SPEAKER_01 26:47

To make him as tall as humanly possible. I

SPEAKER_02 26:49

guess. Yeah, that's a good point. Why is George Clooney in the insane asylum?

SPEAKER_01 26:55

Why did we go to an insane asylum? Because

SPEAKER_03 26:58

Ghostbusters did. That made money.

SPEAKER_01 27:00

Kids like that. Kids are dumb. The idea from this movie, what inspired this money or movie, was a sketch from Nickelodeon's All That. This also came out a year after Kenan and Kel premiered, which probably also kind of, it was a way to kind of capitalize on them being big stars. For stuff on screen, in order to keep the food looking good, Elmer's spray glue was used to seal and preserve edibles. Any ice cream used was actually vegetable shortening with food coloring, as real ice cream would have melted under those studio lights. Looks foul. All of it.

SPEAKER_03 27:41

All of it looks

SPEAKER_01 27:42

terrible. Horrendous. I

SPEAKER_03 27:44

never want to eat again.

SPEAKER_01 27:47

Made me consider being a vegetarian for a hot minute, truly.

SPEAKER_03 27:51

You can eat the ice cream. Everything is foam and shortening. I don't feel good.

SPEAKER_01 27:58

When Kenan Thompson was talking about filming, he said that there would be virtually 2,000 pounds of meat on set, some of which had grown old. He said it was so nasty, some of those burgers would stay out there for a long time. I felt sorry for the extras who had to eat them with those cold, clammy fries. But on screen, those burgers look good. What's up

SPEAKER_03 28:16

with that?

SPEAKER_02 28:17

What's up with that? What's What's up with that? What's up with that?

SPEAKER_03 28:22

Oh, I like that. That's a good thing, Ben. I like

SPEAKER_01 28:27

that. And it would not go without saying that we can't talk about a Dan Schneider film without kind of talking about Dan Schneider. Gotta mention the explosive documentary Quiet on Set, where it discussed his alleged behavior at Nickelodeon. He responded by apologizing, but denied other allegations regarding the sexualization of children in his past productions. Filed a lawsuit against Warner Brothers, Sony picks and the series directors claiming that the docuseries defamed him by falsely implying that he sexually abused child actors he worked with. In a statement, he acknowledged that he made mistakes and poor judgment during his time at Nickelodeon and expressed that reactions to the series left him no choice but to take legal action against the people behind it. Again, that's Dan Schneider of Big Fat.

SPEAKER_03 29:14

Oh, well. No, he did write that. That's

SPEAKER_01 29:19

a fact. He wrote that. Listen, if we promote anything today, go watch Quiet on Set. It's not an easy watch by any means, but it should be seen.

SPEAKER_03 29:28

Oh, boy. Yeah, it is not easy at all.

SPEAKER_01 29:33

Yeah, that's the other thing. There's so much more to it. I would like to say that we've gotten better since then, but like, you know.

SPEAKER_02 29:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 29:44

I am certain that we will all say and or note at different times, things in this movie that are like, what the fuck is going on? Yeah. Like, like some of this movie is fucking weird.

SPEAKER_02 30:00

I mean, in line though, with quiet on the set, I think we should just all say, you know, I mean, release the Epstein Epstein list, right? Like

SPEAKER_03 30:07

what the fuck? Yes, yes, yes, yes. Cause maybe whoopsie is on there. Who knows? I just like to read. That's all.

SPEAKER_01 30:16

I just like reading. I just

SPEAKER_03 30:18

like reading.

SPEAKER_01 30:19

I need material. I feel like he's just copy pasted. You know what I mean? There's just a spreadsheet, just multiple.

SPEAKER_03 30:26

From the definite nonfiction too. That's where I really like to read from. Ben, do you want me to do it?

SPEAKER_02 30:34

You always make me do it. I can do it.

SPEAKER_03 30:37

Yeah. Okay.

SPEAKER_02 30:39

Yeah. You've been on this podcast before, so you know we do this. What is, what would What do you think, if you were to create it out of thin air, what's the logline of this movie? Give us a one to two to three sentence description of this movie like you're pitching it on an elevator.

SPEAKER_01 30:55

A failed attempt at Friday for Children.

SPEAKER_03 30:58

That's pretty solid. Yeah, I mean... Smokey's back here taking a shit and eating a Mondo burger.

SPEAKER_02 31:09

If people heard me, I was shuffling because I'm getting ready for our... we're going to do after our break, but we do have to break. We received a cease and desist and said we must take a break.

SPEAKER_03 31:21

Can you tell them the logline right now?

SPEAKER_02 31:25

The actual logline, Linda, is a dim-witted teenager and his new co-worker try to save the old burger joint they worked for from failing after the opening of a brand new burger restaurant across the street, which is planning to put them out of business. That gives this movie way too much credit.

SPEAKER_03 31:41

It's like you're playing dodgeball here, trying to dodge a bullet or whatever. You ever done anything dangerous?

SPEAKER_02 31:46

Yeah. I mean,

SPEAKER_03 31:48

yeah. Cease and desist that joke. Okay, we will be back in a moment. That is dangerous. Ben, Melinda, I have great news. We were granted an injunction to finish this episode. Was it a lower court,

SPEAKER_02 32:15

a lower judge?

Brought to You By

SPEAKER_03 32:16

Yes. And we are going to be able to keep this episode going within the framework of the Good Burger. That's the order.

SPEAKER_02 32:26

Okay.

SPEAKER_03 32:27

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 32:29

Exciting news.

SPEAKER_03 32:30

Before that, though.

SPEAKER_02 32:32

Well, we have to play Cinephile, Melinda. Did we play this when you were here last?

SPEAKER_03 32:37

We did on Iron Giant for certain we did.

SPEAKER_01 32:40

Listen, we were having Twinkies that day. What happened that day?

SPEAKER_03 32:45

Turbo injected fuel explosion Allison transmission Twinkies.

SPEAKER_02 32:50

That's true. Those things were

SPEAKER_03 32:51

nuts.

SPEAKER_01 32:52

I still don't think anyone has looked at me the way that the checkout clerk looked at me when I bought nothing but Twinkies and a full ass bottle of whipped cream. I was like, I don't listen. Don't worry about

SPEAKER_02 33:04

it. Except for the checkout clerk in weapons who watched it kid by 48.

SPEAKER_01 33:08

So many cans of soup!

SPEAKER_02 33:10

Every day.

SPEAKER_03 33:11

Kid, are you... Do you have a job at a shelter or does your parent or guardian...

SPEAKER_02 33:18

Get a job, sir. So I'm going to flip these cards. On this card is an actor. You will... I'm going to show it to the camera. You're going to say who that actor is and what movie is also on the card. Paul will then have to name a movie that actor's in. I have to name a movie that actor's in. You have to name a movie that actor's in. and go around the horn until one of us messes up.

SPEAKER_01 33:40

I need you to understand that I will fail at this immediately. That's probably why I don't remember this because I mentally blocked it. Well,

SPEAKER_02 33:46

that's why you get the freebie movie and then Paul and I still have to name one. So sometimes Paul and I screw up before it comes back around to you.

SPEAKER_03 33:53

That's

SPEAKER_01 33:53

fair. We

SPEAKER_02 33:54

keep

SPEAKER_03 33:55

things fair in this court, counselor. That's why we've been allowed to continue.

SPEAKER_02 34:00

Let me know when

SPEAKER_03 34:01

to stop.

SPEAKER_01 34:02

Stop. Oh, okay. It's Laura Dern, Wild at Heart.

SPEAKER_02 34:07

Well, I think... Have we done Laura Dern?

SPEAKER_03 34:10

I'm almost certain we maybe have, but my response is Jurassic Park.

SPEAKER_02 34:16

That's a good response. I'm going to say Jurassic Park 3.

UNKNOWN 34:22

Uh...

SPEAKER_01 34:22

Twin Peaks Firewalk with me? Question mark?

SPEAKER_02 34:26

I think so, as Diane. Oh, I think you're right. I think you're right.

SPEAKER_03 34:34

I'll say Inland Empire.

SPEAKER_02 34:35

I'll say Jurassic World Dominion.

SPEAKER_01 34:41

I'm riding the lynch train. She was in Blue Velvet, too.

SPEAKER_02 34:45

Yep,

SPEAKER_03 34:46

for sure she was. That was the next one I had, and now I am jammed. What kind of jam? Raspberry. Only Lone Star uses raspberry.

SPEAKER_02 35:00

I need you to get unjammed, Paul. I need you to talk about... I need you to get sauced. I need you to not have a jam. I need you to have some sauce in this.

SPEAKER_03 35:10

Are we sure that's not just raspberry jam? I guess it's just glue with red food coloring. It's slime,

SPEAKER_02 35:16

man. Literally, they're doing double dare behind this thing, and they just took the green slime and put some red food coloring in it. Oh,

Cinephile Round

SPEAKER_03 35:22

gross. Okay, gross. All right. It's just recycling slime. Oh, yeah, that sounds gross. And they didn't get a cease and desist because they're a big corporation.

SPEAKER_01 35:32

That sounds like Paul doesn't have an answer.

SPEAKER_03 35:36

Oh, yeah, I've been jammed up for a while. So my first experience with Good Burger. I know I've seen this before. it was on cable

SPEAKER_02 35:45

it was on Nickelodeon to be exact

First & Current Experiences

SPEAKER_03 35:47

I was young it may have been Nickelodeon I watched it and walked away that was it I have not seen it ever again I guess I would have rated it a two and a half because it was something that I had seen and didn't have a desire to watch again or watch the sequel and sometimes there are things that I hold on to that will rewatch everyone that listens to this knows I'm a rewatcher for certain. Watching this today was... a continuation of starting it last night. Cause I started it in the evening last night and got to about the 35 minute mark and paused it and was like, Oh fuck that. And went to bed. I finished it this morning and I'm, I'm sorry, kid. I'm 77 and I'm, I got a broken ass and I'm not super cool. Maybe I just don't get this. The movie feels a little more mean. Then... I think it needs to, it doesn't feel like a naked gun, but it feels like it wants to be that. And I think with naked gun where it's like authority figures and bad guys exist in a different world and everybody else exists in this fun world. And in this movie, I get the idea that it's like, Oh, the real world should be, or kind of is the way that Ed sees it. And everyone else is the weird person or what? And it's like, sometimes the, And I think they're trying to, I don't think this movie is trying to say anything, but the character comes off as like someone who may be on the spectrum and it's just like insanely kind and not worried about putting themselves first in any situation or anything like that. But at times he seems insanely, insanely smart. And then it's sometimes it's like, do you know how to take a piss? I know some of those words. And a lot of those wordplay jokes that work in the naked gun universe are, that this movie tries to do don't really work. And also this world makes me want to barf. I don't want to eat or drink anything again in my life. I don't want to hear anything again in my life. I certainly don't want to hear people fucking eating again in my life. So the edit of this is I'm reminded of this feeling is also going to be painful, but there are some fun things about the movie. I will admit. I like the first few minutes, one and a half broken asses.

SPEAKER_01 38:23

okay

SPEAKER_02 38:25

i remember very clearly the first time i watched this movie because i rented it when i was staying at my grandparents house in kingston washington

SPEAKER_03 38:33

probably blockbuster next to the good burger

SPEAKER_02 38:36

they didn't have a blockbuster in kingston it's too tiny of a town it was like uh

SPEAKER_01 38:41

i think or something

SPEAKER_02 38:42

no you like rented from the grocery store yeah back in the day so the thrift way in kingston and i remember watching it on their giant box tv in the front room not the living room, the front room. And I remember enjoying it now, full disclosure. I loved all that. And Keenan and Cal was a, I was a big fan of Keenan and Cal as well. And I was a pretty dumb kid. So like I enjoyed it. And I remember coming away from it and probably would have given it four again, entertaining enough. I was 11 when this movie came out. So still pretty dumb. And then, uh, I've probably, I've know that i've referenced this movie before you know especially quoted the welcome to good burger home with a good burger now remember this sketch was not a very there wasn't much going on in this sketch the sketch was just people walking up to a counter and ordering and then like encountering dumb people

SPEAKER_03 39:43

yeah yeah and it was the it was like you open the package and it's the same thing every time yeah like it's it feels like this troll and then the movie tries to to make it much bigger than just like this troll or this kid that is so dumb. All the kids in Springfield

SPEAKER_02 39:59

are so big. Watching it yesterday, it's funny because it's like I frequently will, I don't have kids or anything, but sometimes I'll see something like that my nephews or friends' kids are watching and I'm just like, God, this is so stupid. And my thought will be like, God, I didn't watch dumb stuff when I was a kid. And to some degree it was like, yeah, I watched Teenage Mutant Turtles, the cartoon, which was awesome. There were cool things. And in watching this last night or two nights ago whenever i watched it i just kept thinking about how stupid it is how did i find this entertaining and it made me think is it just easier to make content dumb content for kids because the good content for kids you know usually people will say like oh that's a good one that's a good like people these days bluey bluey's a good one right and

SPEAKER_03 40:48

it's like

SPEAKER_02 40:49

and that's what i hear i hear bluey's great because it's not playing to the low is common denominator.

SPEAKER_03 40:54

We've talked about this with Melinda on this program. Making kids programming and doing it well is very difficult. And it does feel like I agree with you, Ben, that this all feels like extremely low hanging fruit jokes.

SPEAKER_02 41:14

Yeah, except the fruit is very fake looking and sprayed with glue. My rating after watching it a couple nights ago is we're at two enhanced meats. Two enhanced meats.

SPEAKER_03 41:30

I would let my 10-year-old fake child that doesn't exist watch Happy Gilmore before this movie.

SPEAKER_02 41:40

Full disclosure, right after this movie ended, I started Good Burger 2 on Paramount.

SPEAKER_00 41:44

Really?

SPEAKER_02 41:45

Out of sick curiosity, because I was just like, I have to know what tone and what sort of... I had to know how do you translate this... 1997, very Nickelodeon tone, which was a different beast at that time. How do you put that into when 2023? And I, so I was like, I have to see this. I have to know what they did. And I saw Pete Davidson, Rob Gronkowski, and like someone else went off the patent. Like, what are we doing?

SPEAKER_03 42:11

Like happy Gilmore too. It's a lot of cameos. Okay. Did you finish it? Or did you see, I watched like 20 minutes of it. You see, okay. There's a season.

UNKNOWN 42:23

Okay.

SPEAKER_01 42:23

melinda

SPEAKER_02 42:25

you brought us this movie i'm sorry we just i'm

SPEAKER_01 42:27

so sorry i brought

SPEAKER_02 42:29

you this

SPEAKER_01 42:30

movie no no yeah i think it's i listen i brought you iron giant last time i had to go directly to the other end of the spectrum we couldn't talk about guns today we had to do something else i distinctly okay i distinctly remember watching this movie i also think i rented it it was like an orange tape of much like other yeah oh yeah orange tape the only moment from this movie that i really really remembered and i have not seen it since like i saw it as a kid was uh ed putting the grapes up his nose and doing the blubity song because all it made

SPEAKER_00 43:06

and

SPEAKER_01 43:08

and all it made me think of is what it means to translate okay what it means to translate a thing for adults to make it for kids i.e like uh all that was like snl for kids right um i feel like I don't know if this is actually for well it's for kids it's weird and strange and we probably saw it before we should have I was a big space ghost fan so when like that feels like what late like a weird version of late night for kids or like that's your gateway entry into like watching Beavis and Butthead or something like that

SPEAKER_02 43:42

in the same vein Ren and Stimpy was on this network and it was like very Mike Judge coded

SPEAKER_03 43:49

yes yeah I wonder if I watched this movie when i was young and i saw it as some sort of shining example for summit something and it's part of the reason i became an asshole for so long i don't it could be an origin story for me it's hard to say

SPEAKER_01 44:06

it does feel it feels much like the insane mondo patties of the enhanced or this weird amalgamation or there's this thing added to it that makes it this like fucked up version of it it doesn't translate well it feels like they took elements of like friday and elements of sketch comedy shows and elements of The Naked Gun and squished them all together and then tried to add the Nickelodeon droplet to it to be like, oh, we'll make it for kids. The Blorp. The Blorp. That's what messed it up in a way. There are some genuine moments that I thought were really funny. There's

SPEAKER_02 44:46

funny jokes, for sure.

SPEAKER_01 44:48

I think I'm going to start quoting Pushing Buttons and Hanging Out as just a thing. It's like, Oh, wow.

SPEAKER_03 44:54

I can't believe I snickered at that just

SPEAKER_02 44:56

now. I genuinely laughed and was like, uh, is it because I'm black? I genuinely laughed and he was like, no, I'm, anyway, and just keeps going.

SPEAKER_01 45:03

Don't worry about it. Yeah, yeah. The ending where he goes through the whole justice system thing was also very funny. The I know some of these words was funny. Like, there were moments where I was like, fantastic. But it's also, there's other, you're right that there's other better stuff during this time that like you could have watched. I just distinctly remember finding moments of it much funnier when I was a kid. Also, they drive a sandwich around and it made me think of the Spongebob movie where you don't need a license to drive a sandwich. Why not? I'll say coming off of it, my first time watching it, it's been eons, like three out of five shark poisons, you know? Okay.

SPEAKER_02 45:41

You just watched it, same?

SPEAKER_01 45:43

Having just watched it now, I think it is impossible to ignore the context of which this, like in which this movie was probably made. And also, like you said, I think there's better stuff going on that I would probably introduce a kid to during this time. It's kind of like you said, I would rather have my kid watch Space Coast or watch something way more ridiculous.

SPEAKER_03 46:03

Space Balls, a movie we just referenced. There's so many things.

SPEAKER_01 46:08

I think I would take it down to two shark poisons at this point.

SPEAKER_02 46:12

It somehow feels like it's for kids and also inappropriate.

SPEAKER_01 46:18

But also not inappropriate enough. Again, knowing the context makes it more inappropriate but if you would watch it not knowing like the allegations around it I think you'd be like oh this is trying to do something but it feels like it got noted

SPEAKER_03 46:31

there are a couple things watching this movie doing my best to remove that from it considering this is all alleged on one person's one party's end but trying to remove that piece from the context there are a couple specific things where I'm like this feels like an adult doing a thing that they think is like very funny and like getting away with something and it's bizarre.

SPEAKER_01 46:55

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 46:56

I know that we should probably start the movie because...

SPEAKER_00 46:59

Start the movie! Start the movie! Start the movie!

SPEAKER_03 47:07

And now, our feature presentation.

SPEAKER_02 47:11

This is a television show.

SPEAKER_03 47:14

I am grossed out. The very first part of the movie, the audio of the burger being constructed and deconstructed. And I'm sure this is a Nickelodeon movie. That's probably the goal of the movie. But the movie immediately is very quick about being like, there will essentially be little to no lessons and it's going to be gross. And I do get a few laughs in the first few minutes, but that burger, we've been saying real words, but it's also like stonk, Those are the sounds I'm hearing in my head as that burger, and I hate it.

SPEAKER_01 47:48

I would like to make a petition to bring back eye sound effects, though.

SPEAKER_03 47:52

The wink, wink, wink, or the squishy, poppy kind of, oh.

SPEAKER_01 47:57

Give it to me. I want it. I want more. We should be using it. I want a Christopher Nolan film with eye sound effects. Do it. Do it, you coward.

SPEAKER_02 48:05

I have a question, important question. What is a good chunk? It's called the Danger Witch.

SPEAKER_03 48:10

I hate that it says that. that on the outside of the place.

SPEAKER_02 48:14

It says good shakes, good burgers, and good chunks. Good chunks. What are we talking about here? I

Start the Movie (discussion)

SPEAKER_03 48:20

don't want to know. I don't want to see it. That is the one thing I think in this movie where I'm like, show me. Don't tell me. Show me. In this case, don't show me that. It's fine. Let's talk around it.

SPEAKER_02 48:34

Speaking of filming here though, this movie was made pretty much all in West Covina. And now the new was made in, like, Rhode Island, so.

SPEAKER_03 48:44

Oh,

SPEAKER_02 48:44

interesting. Things don't shoot here anymore.

SPEAKER_03 48:47

And I assume the new one looks, like, super digital. Oh, yeah. Yeah, and made for streaming, essentially. Less foam. Less foam or computers.

SPEAKER_02 48:58

I mean, if there's anything Nickelodeon had in surplus, it was foam and slime. And they used

SPEAKER_01 49:03

all of

SPEAKER_03 49:04

it.

SPEAKER_02 49:04

Blurp. This is the foam from when kids jump into a pit in Wild and Crazy Kids. You want to use it as meat? Yes, I I do.

SPEAKER_03 49:12

Yeah. A couple of kids died in it a couple months ago, but we changed some of it out.

SPEAKER_01 49:19

We

SPEAKER_03 49:19

rotate

SPEAKER_01 49:19

it. You know, I didn't hate the setup of the movie though. Like I didn't hate the first couple of minutes if they would have just like kind of stayed in that world. Like I love watching Keena Thompson and I love watching Kel Mitchell. Like they're great. And I also, I will say this. It is kind of cool to see a movie with a predominantly black cast be

SPEAKER_02 49:40

from 1997, 1997.

SPEAKER_01 49:41

I mean like I'm glad that like younger kids got to like see that even though it is kind of a silly dumb dumb I was

SPEAKER_02 49:49

also thinking about that too as a kid who grew up in a very white area that like at no point in watching this or watching all that or watching King and Kel was my thought I'm watching black centric story yeah I'm just watching a story and these are just like I count King and Kel were funny and it's an interesting thing to now you make this and and people will be like, well,

SPEAKER_03 50:14

that's woke. Sure. Why? Oh, because it's like real life?

SPEAKER_02 50:19

Yeah, because it's people that aren't you. What are we talking

SPEAKER_03 50:23

about? Don't make me wake from the dream with the living burgers.

SPEAKER_02 50:28

Oh, man, the puppets. I do like those puppets. The puppets.

SPEAKER_03 50:30

I would have loved

SPEAKER_01 50:31

more puppets.

SPEAKER_03 50:33

I am with you, Melinda. In this first few minutes, I'm on board where it's like, oh, this almost feels like it exists in kind of a fun like Pee Wee Harmony kind of universe. He's so dedicated to the job. He wears the uniform. I want to second what Ben was saying about some of the performances and the actors. It's like, I don't like this movie. Kel Mitchell is very good in this movie. He is very dedicated. I also like Abe Vigoda in this movie. I like Linda Cardellini in this movie. I like Sinbad in this movie. So there's some pretty good performances where people are really giving it. But the movie around them that starts to happen because like the uniform shower thing happens and the jump rope drag thing the jump rope drag i fucking died at that i was dying

SPEAKER_02 51:20

the plot is pretty simple right we meet ed who works at this fast food place and then we meet dexter and he's summer he's so excited he's a really egotist like that the writing is so by the book a to b to c he's a very like you see his fault immediately like oh this is a very like self-centered egotistical individual and he's gonna have to come to terms with that and the big thing the inciting incident is he wrecks his mom's car

SPEAKER_01 51:47

into his teacher's car played by the funkiest version of Sinbad he calls him Shaft

SPEAKER_03 51:57

as an insult how is that an insult that's not a fucking insult he calls him Shaft he steals his mom's car and hits this guy's car and apparently Sinbad's greatest crime in this movie which like they make light of at the end of the movie is that he wants to hold this kid accountable and adults are fucking assholes cease and desist with your bullshit it's summer vacation fuck off i'm going blorp blorp squirt glompling

SPEAKER_01 52:28

leave me alone that just meant that man just wanted his detroit leather in a mailbox he didn't want anything

SPEAKER_03 52:34

yes i mean he just like he probably had worked his fucking ass off for that infinity if he's but like That guy is working a night job. He's doing drama fucking coaching. He's sports coaching. He's working the summers. Like, that guy is working hard.

SPEAKER_02 52:51

I mean, this movie is equivalent to one of those, like, young adult books meant for middle school that's just like, kids rule, adults drool, you know? Kind of,

SPEAKER_03 53:02

yeah. That's

SPEAKER_02 53:03

what Nick Lodian was also just presenting all the time. It's so cool being a kid.

SPEAKER_01 53:07

I will also say, like... We're tough! Here's the thing. It definitely does sound like the impetus for any ad. You know what I mean? Yes. Where it's like, adults suck and kids are cool and don't you wish you understood this as an adult, but you just don't get it because you're not a kid. But I do feel like as manufactured as that is, you do kind of need it. Kids need the space to be like, we are kids, we are distinctly different from adults. Not that we're cooler, but we are different. I don't know. I think that, especially now kids are being treated like adults earlier and earlier they want to feel like adults earlier and earlier and I don't know that feels kind of especially when your brain's still good

SPEAKER_03 53:52

at times this movie should help kids feel that it's just Ben you had said a thing where it's like it feels like the script and the movie and itself are going A B C D E F G H I J K and that's how Nick the it doesn't have any it feels like it has no act structure like i feel no real tension like that happens in any real points at all

SPEAKER_02 54:23

the thing they set up right is that ed was the one who like skated in front of him which how did you forget about that it was clearly a dude in a burger costume wearing it was

SPEAKER_03 54:31

clearly garth come on wayne

SPEAKER_02 54:34

yeah

SPEAKER_03 54:34

yeah

SPEAKER_02 54:35

but

SPEAKER_03 54:35

he's clearly tommy

SPEAKER_02 54:36

he has to pay for uh mr simbad's

SPEAKER_01 54:40

car he didn't has to pay for the damages. So he has to have a

SPEAKER_02 54:44

summer job.

SPEAKER_01 54:44

Nightmare. Absolute nightmare.

SPEAKER_02 54:47

Also, I had a job job

SPEAKER_01 54:49

at this age. I was going to say, did you guys have summer jobs? I had a

SPEAKER_02 54:53

job at 16 during school. I was working at the grocery store.

SPEAKER_03 54:57

Retail fast food.

SPEAKER_01 55:00

Yeah, I worked at an ice cream shop.

SPEAKER_03 55:02

There you go. And this kid, it's relatable in a way that he is going to have to work to learn some sort of accountability and I get no payoff for that at all. And when he's at Mondo Burger, which essentially is repackaged as Globo Gym, I feel so many echoes of Dodgeball. Dodgeball was the slightly better version and Tommy Boy was a better version. And then Wayne's World is like the apex version. My

SPEAKER_02 55:32

question is with Mondo Burger, how is there a kid running this place?

SPEAKER_01 55:37

They're all like 16. Who talks about himself in the third person? Kurt? yeah

SPEAKER_02 55:42

but like purple costumes and shit yeah why do they they're wearing like the xenon space princess

SPEAKER_01 55:48

or whatever it's the future k-pop

SPEAKER_03 55:51

demon hunters

SPEAKER_01 55:52

i was talking about it when they so when mondo burger opened i was like how did studio 54 and the opening credits from saved by the bell open a fucking

SPEAKER_03 56:02

restaurant well it's funny you wake up in the morning

SPEAKER_02 56:05

when they hit the where you go into, the dining area is pretty small.

SPEAKER_03 56:15

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 56:16

Yeah. I was like, there's like eight tables in there. That

SPEAKER_03 56:19

grinder's so big. Those burgers are so big. Also,

SPEAKER_02 56:23

I don't think at any point when I'm eating a burger, I'm like, you know what would make this better? If this patty was like six

SPEAKER_03 56:30

inches. If it were just a six inch thick piece of fucking foam. I would rather have that. When Ed is... And I'm just thinking at this point, it's like, oh, their burgers are just really big. And I haven't seen this food tampering situation. And Ed is swimming in the shake machine. And I'm like, shut it down. Shut it

SPEAKER_01 56:56

down. Shut it down right now. Both of them should be busted for very different health code violations.

SPEAKER_03 57:05

Absolutely.

SPEAKER_02 57:06

Pink jacuzzi.

SPEAKER_03 57:08

And Keenan gets fired and goes over from Mondo burger goes over to good burger. And I want to say another thing about this movie that I like, I love the good burger uniform. It's super classic. It looks like very high end. They always want it to present well in the movie. It has like embroidered work on like the hats and they're all fitted. And obviously Kels fits very well. Cause the dread wig or whatever is attached to it or whatever it is. That good burger uniform is really solid.

SPEAKER_02 57:37

Yeah. Yeah. Well, when Dexter's making the burgers at Mondo, burger and he's like throwing like eight pickles and like seven slices of cheese

SPEAKER_03 57:45

yeah

SPEAKER_01 57:46

so much cheese

SPEAKER_02 57:48

uh but yeah he goes to good burger and the hiring process is dumb by dan schneider but i guess he's a kid so he'll hire him

SPEAKER_01 57:55

as

SPEAKER_03 57:55

far as you know

SPEAKER_01 57:56

like do you have any do you have any accidents on your yeah any do you have any accidents on your record not to your knowledge like that was kind of that was great because

SPEAKER_03 58:05

i i hate that spatch thing

SPEAKER_01 58:08

oh

SPEAKER_03 58:09

yeah where he like eats the fly and it and

SPEAKER_02 58:11

you're like yep close it down shut

SPEAKER_03 58:13

it shut it the fuck down cease and desist your operation sir we're we're through here like mr schneider does

SPEAKER_02 58:22

everyone have a favorite uh burger like fast food burger

SPEAKER_03 58:26

oh like national or local known

SPEAKER_02 58:29

either i think either

SPEAKER_03 58:31

the burgerville double beef cheeseburger hits in a way like nothing else dicks is also very good I also like Kid Valley. Now I'm mentioning kind of a tri-state thing and then more hyper-local Seattle stuff.

SPEAKER_02 58:50

Yeah, I mean, I love a good Dick's burger when I'm in Seattle. I'm also, I'm a huge, I know I'm a transplant, but I'm a huge In-N-Out fan. I

SPEAKER_03 59:02

like that

SPEAKER_02 59:02

burger a lot.

SPEAKER_03 59:03

It has so much seasoning on it for my taste buds, and that's like, I'm sure I taste it maybe, we all taste it differently, right?

SPEAKER_02 59:11

I could use one right now.

SPEAKER_01 59:11

That would be, I hear a lot about going up with one. Yeah, I think at the end of the day, pound for pound, price for price, In-N-Out is like probably the best burger you can get but if we're gonna go to the other end of the spectrum here uh and hyper local if you're in california moose barbecue does it you should be there to like maybe get brisket or like ribs or whatever the burger is the best thing on the menu hands down uh but i also i'm a big smash burger fan and i haven't tried for the win yet so that's like my

SPEAKER_02 59:39

moose burger did just contact us and told us a cease and desist oh no i

SPEAKER_03 59:45

was on such a high so

SPEAKER_02 59:47

we have to move on

SPEAKER_03 59:48

okay hi ho cheeseburger shout special k hi ho cheeseburger okay the hyper local la thing

SPEAKER_02 59:54

so obviously here's the tension they're trying to build right is that is that ed was responsible for dexter's crash and and ruining his summer i guess yeah it's not that he

SPEAKER_03 1:00:07

stole a fucking car and act like a fucking maniac it's really

SPEAKER_02 1:00:10

not

SPEAKER_03 1:00:10

ed's fault

SPEAKER_02 1:00:11

but whatever

SPEAKER_01 1:00:11

they become friends i think that's the thing is like he becomes friends with i i keep just wanting to call him kel with ed who is very like super childlike and ed exists in the like naked gun universe as in he's the one constantly kind of making those verbal jokes of like i understand some of these words are like that like you get those mr x in there keenan like takes advantage of him which we can just which yeah but i think it's about him learning how to have a friend

SPEAKER_02 1:00:42

and care about someone other than himself

SPEAKER_01 1:00:44

yeah and

SPEAKER_03 1:00:45

but i also would worry that he could potentially fall backward and not learn a lesson and ed will just be like whatever and just continue to this is a weird movie that we're even talking about this because again we're giving this mood we're this is just this is a bun with fucking nothing nothing on it and we are turning this into if nothing else like at least a six dollar burger from fucking carl's junior hardy

SPEAKER_02 1:01:13

seven a 7-eleven burger

SPEAKER_03 1:01:15

exactly

SPEAKER_02 1:01:16

sitting under a heat lamp for a

SPEAKER_03 1:01:20

actually start to feel kind of bad for Sinbad he's like take some accountability you fucked up my car life is hard and then like the mailbox things happen happens and you're like or whatever the second thing is that happens to him I fucking forget but it's just like what did this guy do what are we gonna find out why this guy is just such a piece of shit like why is he Jerry Gary Larry like make him the mayor make him the fucking mayor at the end

SPEAKER_02 1:01:48

make him the entire in some way, make him an investor in Mondo burger. I don't know.

SPEAKER_03 1:01:53

He's ruining my summer. What the fuck?

SPEAKER_02 1:01:56

Why was he a teacher?

SPEAKER_01 1:01:59

It felt very snow day adjacent where the, like, that

SPEAKER_02 1:02:04

was a Nickelodeon movie too.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:05

That's

SPEAKER_02 1:02:11

another one. That's like kids. This is our world.

SPEAKER_01 1:02:15

Yes.

SPEAKER_02 1:02:16

I guess, you know, like if you think about like Goonies, right. Where Goonies, you know, is similar where it's just like, this is, we're going to take care of this. Kids are going to take care of this. The adults are useless or whatever. It's not like that was a new thing. It's just like Nickelodeon did it in a way that in retrospect, it doesn't, it feels like we, maybe, I don't know. It just feels. It

SPEAKER_01 1:02:38

slapped the nineties on it. It did it, but it went extreme. Like it did, it did that sound effect in

SPEAKER_03 1:02:45

front of it. The thing from Goonies is this movie wants to be adventure or at least adventure adjacent Goonies is adventure in terms of the like it makes sense from almost any age like wait you think you're gonna find fucking treasure yeah keep that super tight don't call the cops don't just keep it very inside this movie could have ended so many times if it's like just call just call the cops you just call the cops

SPEAKER_02 1:03:12

call the I understand like I

SPEAKER_03 1:03:14

don't trust the police either but yeah yeah yeah call the alcohol hall distributor? Just

SPEAKER_02 1:03:21

complain. The Mondo Burger kitchen is displaying those water bottles of poison on a shelf. They're not even hidden in a locked cabinet or something. They're just out.

SPEAKER_03 1:03:31

In the open, everywhere. Yeah. Absolutely everywhere. And the movie,

SPEAKER_02 1:03:38

it's slow at Good Burger. It's

SPEAKER_03 1:03:41

slow at Good Burger for a fucking day, two days, and they're like, nah, gonna go out of business. And then suddenly, Ed, the... Ed is getting recognition now because he's created this sauce. He's finally getting some credit for, if nothing else, his loyalty and pride in terms of the Good Burger brand. Oh. I guess. Okay. And I laugh again, though, when Abe Vigoda, I legitimately laugh when he falls and he's like, I think I broke my ass.

SPEAKER_01 1:04:12

Yeah. Come on. I also love when Keenan is, so to backtrack a little bit, Keenan gets hired and he's meeting everybody and he meets Abe Vigoda and he He's like, I should have died years ago. I laughed at that, too.

SPEAKER_03 1:04:25

I laughed at that, too. So the lunchtime Bloobity song, Bloobity Blop, Scorp Bloop. That song, this is the, and maybe it's a Freddie got fingered thing, too, and all sorts of things where it's like, are you trying to do Chaplin with the, I don't know, only Grandpa Simpson can do that, even close to the same. But the, it's, it's one of these things where I am massively annoyed at the idea of people recreating things from this movie. And that's what I think the movie wants, right? It wants to

SPEAKER_01 1:05:05

mean itself.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:07

Well, it wants like, it wants 10 year olds to see it and go, yes, that

SPEAKER_02 1:05:11

I'm

SPEAKER_03 1:05:12

going to talk like that. I'm going to, that's how I feel. What I feel like the movie wants to be quotable. It wants to be, Mimicable and inimitable. Begging.

SPEAKER_01 1:05:23

Stepbrothers.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:24

Sure, exactly. It wants to be in that sphere of a lot of movies that we've been talking about. And it does have great moments. Funny moments. Not great.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:35

I mean, funny. It feels, and I'm sure this is how it was. It felt like they had a handful of sketches that maybe were written or were written for this movie. And then they were like, okay, how do we tie all this together?

SPEAKER_03 1:05:45

Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:47

And just like figure out what this plot is.

SPEAKER_03 1:05:50

You get Kurt to tie it all together.

SPEAKER_02 1:05:51

They're going to investigate the Mondo Burgers and they dress up like old women. Yeah. Very unconvincingly. Yeah. You're like, what do we do? Because then they just get caught. At that point, you're right, there's no... I felt like that was the point where there was no longer any act structure or an attempt at structure.

SPEAKER_01 1:06:13

And it felt very like... So we went from... So Ed creates this sauce that like... gets business up and running back to their pools. They had

SPEAKER_03 1:06:24

a hard day in between, though. There was a really tough day in

SPEAKER_01 1:06:27

there. They pulled in like$40. It was bad. It was not going to go well. But then Ed creates the sauce. Business is back, baby. Everyone's excited. Everyone loves it. And then it becomes the impetus for Mondo Burger to figure out what's in the sauce. And so in order to do that, they hire Carmen. First of all, it seemed like she was bankrolled like it was like oh bring out Roxanne like she was just on you know what I mean like she was just on on call

SPEAKER_02 1:06:58

I mean Carmen Electra wasn't too busy at this time

SPEAKER_01 1:07:01

right also side note hold on when Carmen Electra enters listen Carmen Electra very hot we'd love to see it

SPEAKER_03 1:07:08

do

SPEAKER_01 1:07:10

it but like she shows up her hair is all over the place it is as though they asked for last looks and they put a fan in but it's They put a fan in front of her and she had, it was as though her hair was up. I know no one can see this because we're not, but like it was just this. It was like this. It just made no goddamn sense. But if you're

SPEAKER_02 1:07:34

10, it's so cool.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:36

Also,

SPEAKER_02 1:07:37

Karma Electra for kids, I think.

SPEAKER_01 1:07:40

Yeah, for kids.

SPEAKER_03 1:07:42

Kenan as a child who drives illegally and drives the mirth mobile illegally and all this other stuff. coaxes Kel, I can't help it either, Ed into this bad deal and is going to exploit him. Yes. And then you get this attempt at a moment where Kenan is like, I don't know my dad. I've never had a relationship with my dad. And they have like, you know, Shaq to cameo just for the sake of cameoing or whatever. But the Kurt offering ed the ten dollars an hour and blah blah blah but the yo-yo thing where ed was listening and gives him the yo-yo and again it's like you are setting up the so many of these moments and there is no true ultimate payoff like as far as i'm concerned i

SPEAKER_02 1:08:38

mean i was talking with guests program matt barrel the other day about one of my favorite christmas movies which is bad santa

SPEAKER_00 1:08:45

and

SPEAKER_02 1:08:46

in that you have a child who presumably is a little dumb at least that's how they displayed but then you have moments of like pure tenderness you know when he's like i made you this uh what is it it's a wooden pickle why is it all brown i cut myself when i was trying to carve it it's like oh shit kid thanks and it's like this moment of just like it's silly it's dumb but it's also really really like tender and you see the character crack a little bit

SPEAKER_03 1:09:13

that that movie the tone of that movie is like masterful it's a it's a pretty incredible thing overall when you can put it all

SPEAKER_02 1:09:21

together. You've never seen

SPEAKER_03 1:09:22

Bad Santa. I would highly recommend as well. And I'm going to ask if anybody knows, is this line from Bad Santa in relation to a child that appears in that movie or from this movie in relation to a child? If anyone can get the sauce out of Ed, she can.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:41

Well, that's where I see things just a little differently. So how old is Carmen Electra at this point?

SPEAKER_03 1:09:45

She's got to be in her late 20s, early 30s at least.

SPEAKER_02 1:09:49

And They're saying Ed is like a teenager. I

SPEAKER_03 1:09:52

think they're trying to portray them as like 15 and a half, 16 and a half, somewhere in that.

SPEAKER_01 1:09:57

But he's also been working at Good Burger for like five years. It was a long

SPEAKER_03 1:10:01

time.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:02

Yeah. Just imagine nine-year-old Ed behind. Maybe

SPEAKER_03 1:10:05

Ed's like 26. I

SPEAKER_01 1:10:07

think Ed's a little older, but I don't know how old.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:10

They're trying to like start this budding relationship as well. Cause every movie at this time needed a romantic

SPEAKER_03 1:10:16

edge to it. So hacky.

SPEAKER_02 1:10:18

And it's just like, well, why do we care about Kenan's love life? And then she finds out about the raw deal that he's giving to Ed and like,

SPEAKER_03 1:10:28

was anyone obsessed with people's asses hurting or getting their asses broken or like, not like being uncomfortable to sit down. This movie has like an obsession with that. Like Carmen Electra. And yeah. And Abe Vigoda and all of that. Like, I don't understand this like broken ass thing. And the Carmen Electra thing comes off like the movie blank check. When I was young, that was a movie that influenced me to be like, yeah, I'll do that. Yes.

SPEAKER_01 1:10:57

Mr. McIntosh?

SPEAKER_03 1:10:58

30-year-old FBI agent? Absolutely. Not a problem. And this movie is essentially positing something pretty similar. And it's so bizarre. And when they... Ben, you were talking about shoveling in this love storyline with Kenan and Monique and how she is mad about, she is like in love with Keenan on this date because Ed told her how great Keenan was, which I don't think we saw. And then she's mad at him because she finds a contract in his jacket, the one that exploits Ed. I would have liked to have seen either of those moments, maybe both, but just something like if she found, like she grabs the jacket, smells it, Like, Oh, I miss him. And then what's this? Like that it's 10 seconds. And to me, it just makes those little things about those pieces of storyline, Ben, that you were saying like so much better

SPEAKER_02 1:12:01

when they, and I'm jumping ahead here, but like, I kind of am tired. This is also the point of the movie where I was like, how much longer is left?

SPEAKER_03 1:12:11

Oh yeah. Yeah.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:13

Because all of this shit still happens. Like they get caught, they go to the insane asylum, they meet the giant dude, who's there for a

SPEAKER_03 1:12:20

second. Why are we there? Mongo. We'll call him Mongo.

SPEAKER_02 1:12:22

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:12:24

They discover the burger drug additive thing that's happening. And it's even like with Ed being dumb, but also smart where he can understand the dog. It's like on the way to go do what you're doing, just show that he was right. Just like these things are so simple. No, they did, but like let Ed experience it. I mean, I misspoke.

SPEAKER_01 1:12:43

Oh, I see. That was the other joke that I laughed at where like, so the way that Mondo Burger is using something insane in their burgers is that they go to feed, like a dog runs up to Keenan and Kel and it's like Kel can like talk to the dog and he's like, what? There's four clowns in a broken down car? And Keenan's like, man, you can't talk to a dog and they try to feed him. He doesn't want the Mondo burger. It's revealed that they have to go figure out what's in there. And then we cut to four clowns broken down on the side of the road in a car. That was great. I was like, oh, that's a genuinely funny moment. There's some stuff that There's some stuff.

SPEAKER_03 1:13:21

I want Ed to experience the validation of that

SPEAKER_01 1:13:25

with

Meet Me Halfway (through the movie)

SPEAKER_03 1:13:27

Dexter. I want to see that. I don't want like an aside of like, look how smart Ed is actually though. And it's like, but have the people around him notice it a little more before we get to the end and it just drops a bomb.

SPEAKER_02 1:13:39

At the very end, I'm jumping ahead, but at the very end when Ed is like, goes off on all of, says that very like long monologue and is very smart, I wanted there to be when Dexter brings up the contract and says something like, he's like, probably shouldn't have done this. I wanted there to be a recognition of Ed being like, oh, I knew that you got more money than me, but I thought maybe you needed it. Me

SPEAKER_03 1:14:03

too. Yeah, I agree. It's just a pure soul. Just show me that. Yes,

SPEAKER_02 1:14:09

Ben. And then we see Kenan see that and be like, oh, I thought I was just getting one over on a dumb dude, but actually he was just like, this super nice soul that was handing me something

SPEAKER_03 1:14:22

well and we're just but two 30 year olds and myself a super advanced genius eight-year-old we can see this in that little piece of performance but and i also think looking at it like super analytically it's like oh yeah he sees how good ed is but it's like that's a little too that's just very nuanced i think what you're saying like it's just like it's a weird thing that it's like no spoon feet here don't do what you're

SPEAKER_01 1:14:49

doing no time for nuance yeah

SPEAKER_03 1:14:51

like and as a movie that is like obese brother's ice cream truck these things like can't super exist in the same universe

SPEAKER_02 1:14:59

for me can we rewind all the way to the very beginning again oh please god because i just need to talk about when he's rollerblading and he runs in and grabs a random baby and then runs into the basketball players and

SPEAKER_01 1:15:13

that was funny

SPEAKER_02 1:15:14

they throw a baby through a basketball

SPEAKER_01 1:15:16

the cut a real baby like a true child well

SPEAKER_02 1:15:20

yeah that shot is but when they cut to him carrying it it's clearly a doll like there's not even yes

SPEAKER_01 1:15:26

well then the basketball players are passing it around in the background

SPEAKER_02 1:15:30

and paul i'll send you the clip because i'm yes i know the clip of the guy finding the baby in his hands please play it here

SPEAKER_03 1:15:39

the so mondo burger breaks into good burger and poisons the magic sauce ed's sauce

SPEAKER_01 1:15:45

poison

SPEAKER_03 1:15:46

and yeah for shark those poor sharks And so Kenan and Kel break in as ladies or whatever. I don't even know where we are in terms of that part of it, but like, cause I think they get caught a couple few times, but they break into Mondo burger. And again, show me, you've shown me that you're willing to use clearly dolls, like not actual babies for stuff, use obvious stunt people to climb up and jump up these things and shimmy. And it just cuts. And it's like, Oh, here we are. And it's like, damn it. Like show me a couple of these, things. And when they're going to go in the kitchen and go steal the chemical, they are literally surrounded by boxes of the fucking chemical everywhere in the room. As Ben mentioned, it is literally everywhere you look. Whenever you go behind any closed door in that place.

SPEAKER_02 1:16:38

Yeah, it's not even an attempt at trying to hide it. No.

SPEAKER_03 1:16:42

And Kel Ed pours a bunch of chemical in the meat vat and what happens is i guess what we assume is what would happen is that the burgers start exploding and

SPEAKER_02 1:16:55

what do we assume would happen

SPEAKER_03 1:16:56

that i figured they were going to get so big that they would explode or that i remembered that that was going to happen potentially

SPEAKER_02 1:17:03

i don't know like in reality that's not a thing

SPEAKER_03 1:17:06

right right well in this reality

SPEAKER_02 1:17:09

they should have had a giant burger just keep growing until it

SPEAKER_01 1:17:15

took like the inside of the yeah

SPEAKER_02 1:17:17

like the blob and it just like

SPEAKER_01 1:17:19

He gains vengeance and starts consuming Mondo Burger employees.

SPEAKER_02 1:17:22

Also, at the very end, when they're like arresting Kurt, they're arresting him. And then Kel comes up and it's like, they've been using, they're like enhancing their burgers. And they're like, is that true? And they're like, great, we're taking it. And they were already in the process of arresting him. And I was like, why are they arresting? Also, they're taking people out in stretchers. And like, Keenan and Kel are just celebrating. I'm like, whoa, did you kill people? I

SPEAKER_01 1:17:50

was going to

SPEAKER_03 1:17:54

say, in the news report later, it's like five people died today. and like I know it's like kind of shitty to be like test on the last day but like and him just screaming that like

SPEAKER_01 1:18:26

why

SPEAKER_03 1:18:26

what

SPEAKER_01 1:18:27

did I do he literally like looks to the sky and screams at God what did I do how did I

SPEAKER_03 1:18:34

deserve this

SPEAKER_02 1:18:34

the burger that flies very clearly on a wire or something that like comes down and lands

SPEAKER_03 1:18:41

I also it's just like Sinbad in that moment when Kenan's like here's some of your money maybe I'll get you the other money later I feel I feel like Kenan has this story. The line of the character is he's gone through some serious trauma, but hurt people, hurt people. And that's okay. And it's like, no, that no, no get better. Not hurt people, hurt people. Like I've been hurt. So I don't want to hurt anybody else. And I want to be better. And I don't feel like that at all by the end of this, like, Oh, I hurt Ed. So I have to, it's like, no, Ed was not really the girl that kissed you. That one time was, hurt and he didn't I don't know it's just like I want some like all truest act from this kids movie which is silly but that's what I want and I also want this unsanitary fucking burger place to be shut the fuck down cease and desist your ingress shut it down

SPEAKER_01 1:19:37

shut it down it just feels like I mean this this feels like it belongs in the same category as like like the bench warmers you know what I mean like this is you

SPEAKER_02 1:19:48

seen it.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:49

That's okay. You're not... Is that

SPEAKER_02 1:19:52

Napoleon Dynamite? Heater, Spade, and Schneider.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:56

Schneider.

SPEAKER_02 1:19:57

Schneider. Different Schneider.

SPEAKER_01 1:19:59

Different Schneider. A kangaroo. A posaken psychopath. It doesn't go into any lessons deeply enough to cause harm to any... You know what I mean? Like, it literally... I think it's... You could watch a blank wall and and leave the same way you came in. You know what I mean? I

SPEAKER_03 1:20:21

don't know. Cause this did damage to me. And if I had a child around me that decided to mimic it all the time, I would lose my fucking mind.

SPEAKER_02 1:20:28

I think it's one of those things where it's, I kind of wish I just left it in the annals of my childhood. Like I remember it fondly to a degree because I think I really conflated a lot with Keenan and Kel and all that.

SPEAKER_01 1:20:43

Which was a fun show. I mean, Keenan and Kel was the fresh Prince of Nicola. You know what I mean? Like, quite a lot

SPEAKER_02 1:20:50

yeah and I liked all that too even though I'm sure that probably doesn't hold up for the most part and I think maybe most of Nickelodeon live action stuff probably doesn't hold up very well

SPEAKER_03 1:21:02

that may include are you afraid of the dark even I hate to say it but it could be even it goes that far

SPEAKER_02 1:21:08

I would agree so I kind of just wish I hadn't watched it again and I'm I kind of will hold this against you forever

SPEAKER_01 1:21:17

you know what that's fair fucking... Here's the thing, though. I think that it does make us realize that when we were kids, we all liked a cringey thing. We've all been cringe in our

SPEAKER_02 1:21:31

lives. And

SPEAKER_01 1:21:33

colors.

SPEAKER_02 1:21:34

The 90s were... There were a lot of colors in the 90s. Oh, yeah,

SPEAKER_01 1:21:37

sure. I feel... I'm torn in two very distinct directions here, because on the one hand, yeah, I would trust the adults in my life, and also the adults making stuff for me as a kid to, like, have somewhat to have my best interests, but in reality... Mistake. Mistake! In reality, this was made because Kenan and Kel was popular, and then they went back through the catalog and went, what could we make into a movie that would, like, make us money? And then they, like, picked this sketch, and they said, okay, yeah, sure, we can, like, in two weeks, spit out a script that we can make and, like, make money off of this. I get that. Like, that's fine. But also at the same time, like, it's also okay that we shouldn't be mad at our as kids for buying into it and liking the silliness of it you know what I mean I watched plenty of like bad shit when I was a kid I probably watch plenty of bad shit now but it's you gotta watch you're not gonna recognize if anything's bad if you don't see anything good too so

SPEAKER_03 1:22:35

the thing that's bizarre about this to me is that to make those decisions they made that you're talking about I am almost certain focus groups studies tests and the popularity of those two actors and that skit in particular kind of like got that ball rolling. It's wild to me that Coca-Cola's brand shows up in this movie like several times.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:02

There's

SPEAKER_03 1:23:05

some like advertising shit or whatever that's in this movie, but it's just

SPEAKER_02 1:23:10

as we've been going over. Nickelodeon was just a bunch of commercials. So for the most part, commercials, soda commercials,

SPEAKER_03 1:23:16

right? I miss it. And let's be honest, it's more people like me, apparently, that are like, eh, kids are dumb. Yeah. Just sell them. Just go ahead. Sell them whatever. No one's going to make a cease and desist. Just

SPEAKER_02 1:23:30

send Carmen a lecture of this hot 25-year-old girl to seduce a 15-year-old kid.

SPEAKER_03 1:23:34

Totally fine.

SPEAKER_01 1:23:36

No problem. But it is interesting that there was probably, I hesitate to use the word care, because I'm not going to call it that, but it was probably shown to multiple test audiences and like it got noted to death and like there was a lot of like effort in that part of making it there was never real consideration for like how it would like affect a kid but they're like oh do they find it funny and are we going to make money plenty of risk assessment was done there and

SPEAKER_00 1:24:06

i think yeah

SPEAKER_01 1:24:07

i think that's something we can like in translating it to like anything today i think that risk assessment is such a big deal when it comes to trying to make stuff whether it's kids entertainment or just anything in entertainment It's not like it's no longer. Do you have like a concept that's fun that we can watch and build over time and like work together to make this thing? It's like, oh, do you know what happens in season three? Because we need to be sure that this is viable and it's going to stick around.

SPEAKER_03 1:24:33

It's crazy.

SPEAKER_01 1:24:34

Yeah. And you have to know that out of the get go. And I think that we're spending way too much effort on that part of making sure that it's good as opposed to like, is the content good and can it

SPEAKER_03 1:24:45

grow? And hopefully that's changing supposedly. some studios or whatever have some level of interest in some of that and some don't seem to have as much interest last thing I want to say about this movie I do appreciate the work of I forget her name Mary Beth Mary she talks really fast and bangs out that order and I was a

SPEAKER_02 1:25:10

fan of hers as a kid too she was really funny oh

SPEAKER_03 1:25:14

funny great I'm glad they brought her back that makes sense and then I I like the Robert wool appearance in this. And that's the thing. I mean, I've been mad at HBO ever since they canceled our list, but it was nice to see him.

SPEAKER_01 1:25:28

Yeah, he's great. Lori

SPEAKER_03 1:25:30

Beth Denberg. Thank you. Lori Beth Denberg, not Mary. I'm ready to re-rate unless people have things that they need to. Do we need to, anyone? Funny, she was also in Dodgeball. Oh, yeah, she was. That's right. She tries out. Yeah.

UNKNOWN 1:25:48

Oh.

SPEAKER_03 1:25:49

Is that a thing? Is that something? Oh, no, it's not. Oh, I'm being told it's not. And don't worry about it. Don't no need to go deeper into the annals there.

SPEAKER_02 1:25:58

All right. Melinda, did we miss anything? I don't have any deep.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:02

It's not. Listen, it's not. It's not that deep. You know what I mean? Even though we kind of got we got this shoehorned moment of tenderness, which this is the other thing that definitely that was like, oh, we have to like put this moment in here. Otherwise, there won't be any emotional attachment to it. But because those two like act the hell out of that scene, I was like, Oh, this is like a nice, like they did justice to the scene itself as a contained thing. But like, it felt cheap in the, in the overall thing. Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:31

There's, there's no payoff. Like they don't really readdress it,

SPEAKER_01 1:26:35

but y'all, I don't think we, I don't think we missed anything. I don't know how we could. So

SPEAKER_03 1:26:40

fair. It's me first. Yeah.

SPEAKER_01 1:26:42

Yeah.

SPEAKER_03 1:26:43

Paul's at five. I indicated it in the, uh, Private text thread. Yeah! That's my order! And now he's eating a burger? Wow. I am not. Drinking a strawberry milkshake? No, I'm just going to get a bag of peanut butter M&M's like a piece of shit and do that sound effect. This movie gets a one for me. I think we've all mentioned that we chuckled at parts of this, sometimes pretty hard. When that girl gets it's that angle of her when she's tangled in the jump rope. Holy smokes. I died. But outside of that, not only did I not have a great time revisiting this, this is a movie that I would hope like most kids that I asked, let's say under the age of 15, that'd be like, you seen good burger. And I would hope they said, no,

SPEAKER_01 1:27:43

I'm

SPEAKER_03 1:27:44

that active about it. So, and it's just one of those things where it's like, Like, just Pixar, DreamWorks, I can name other studio distributors that, and even things that we said that are PG-13 and R-rated that I would rather show a kid, especially if I'm going to be there to, you know, be like, eh, don't do this or that. But yeah, I can't liberty rule it, so I have to go to one. But this was an unpleasant watch for me. I don't need to have those laughs again at any point, I don't think. And I definitely need to try try not to mimic them too hard. Cause being, I'm almost 80 years old being like, welcome to good burgers. A little weird.

SPEAKER_02 1:28:29

Oh man. Yeah, no, it's, I'm going to stick with my, uh, two enhanced meats. They're enhanced meats. Um, I think one of those stars is just pure nostalgia for this time period. And this like, uh, for that Nickelodeon time period. And I'm like, I'm never, going to watch any of that shit again like I'm never going to go man I deep dive and binged all of all that again so I think like this movie is probably the closest I'll ever get to it and yeah it's dumb as hell and I hope I never watch it again so

SPEAKER_01 1:29:10

I feel like I owe you at the end of the like I have to work a summer job to pay back emotional damage

SPEAKER_03 1:29:17

you know I put myself through two seasons of Cobra Kai and it's not like a bad show but I was like I don't need to watch

SPEAKER_01 1:29:24

no no I need to do this

SPEAKER_03 1:29:25

yeah and like I would rate that I mean that's TV I would rate that a little higher than this but

SPEAKER_02 1:29:30

would I continue watching Good Burger 2 in the background while I'm doing something else maybe

SPEAKER_03 1:29:37

ah insane maybe insane

SPEAKER_02 1:29:40

just to see I'm mostly just curious because again they are now like 45 year old gentlemen

SPEAKER_03 1:29:47

right

SPEAKER_01 1:29:48

They're the Abe Magotas

SPEAKER_03 1:29:52

now.

SPEAKER_01 1:29:54

They're Abe. Yeah. Wow. That's

SPEAKER_03 1:29:58

funny. I, yeah, I, I want to give my one star. It's a big gold star that is split across like, you know, six or eight people of the cast. Like that's the main thing for me is that I feel like a lot of the cast just really gave a lot to this. Yeah. Melinda.

SPEAKER_01 1:30:14

Yeah. It's time. I feel like I harmed you all. Hey, here's the thing. I, I think about the fact that having been on this podcast before, uh, cause we did Heather's the first time I was on here and then Iron Giant and like very different movies. And now like this movie, cause it's like, oh, I remember things about it, but not like fully. And I do kind of want to revisit it. I think it's fair to say that like we, like as viewers and consumers, we contain multitudes. We watch weird stuff at weird times. Like when we were kids and like, sometimes we leave it behind and sometimes we watch it again. And sometimes it's not the same as what we remember it but i think that like

SPEAKER_03 1:30:51

why we're here

SPEAKER_01 1:30:52

it's why we're here and i also think that like movies find you when they need to uh or you find them when you need to i

SPEAKER_03 1:31:00

deserve this you're right i deserve this

SPEAKER_01 1:31:03

my thing is like i think it's my my thing is i think it's very silly to like there are definitely movies that i hope that everyone sees but i'm not gonna force anyone to watch a movie i'm not gonna think that their taste is less than mine because like they haven't seen insert movie here it's all

SPEAKER_03 1:31:17

yeah it's all subject it's all personal i'm with i agree with you

Final Ratings

SPEAKER_01 1:31:21

great and sometimes a movie that you watch when you're younger should stay there but it also might have like formed some part of you i think it's still are you

SPEAKER_03 1:31:28

about to give this like a four no what's going on i feel like you're setting me up for you being like i have to i have to make a podcast around only good burger

SPEAKER_01 1:31:38

no the movie the movie is bad please don't get me wrong oh okay i just feel i i feel like like i said i don't think we should uh give ourselves a hard time for what we watched as kids because We watched a lot of stuff back then, and I think we're going to watch a lot more things as we grow and refine our taste, because that's what it's about. You watch good stuff and bad stuff. But boy, howdy, there were some jokes in this movie that were really great that did make me laugh a lot, but yeah, at the end of the day, it's a nothing burger, if you will. I think I'm going to, and also, again, I feel it's more difficult to ignore the context of movies that are viewed really, really well. You're like, oh, this is a really well-made movie made by someone who wasn't great. It's harder for us. Like

SPEAKER_02 1:32:26

Rosemary's Baby.

SPEAKER_01 1:32:26

It's harder for us to separate things. This is an easy separation. I do not mind being mean to this movie. So I'm gonna, including the context and including the fact that it is just a whole lot of nothing, I'm gonna give it one big fat liar.

SPEAKER_02 1:32:44

That's great. Actually, I'm gonna change mine. I'm I'm going to one and a half. One and a half. Oh,

SPEAKER_01 1:32:52

yes. There we go. Yes.

SPEAKER_03 1:32:55

I feel good right now. One and a half. I feel like I went through hell and I made it to the other side. Like, you know,

SPEAKER_01 1:33:04

I haven't had a very good day. I feel like dreams

SPEAKER_03 1:33:07

may come. Here we are. I

SPEAKER_01 1:33:09

feel like right now you're printing out a photo of my face that says do not have back on the podcast and you're like taping it to a board. What is the

SPEAKER_03 1:33:16

mean? What is the mean girl thing that regina writes in the yeah exactly

SPEAKER_01 1:33:25

wait also have you guys not done i i couldn't do it because i watch it every year you guys haven't done jingle all the way yet

SPEAKER_02 1:33:31

no

SPEAKER_03 1:33:31

no

SPEAKER_01 1:33:33

holiday classic

SPEAKER_02 1:33:35

i know yeah i mean our holiday seasons are so short so we don't have i mean we do both for spooky season and christmas i think we do an extra episode or two

SPEAKER_03 1:33:44

usually yeah i mean we usually try to do something aligned with things Thanksgiving ish. It's like last year we did hard target where it was about like, you know, weird, um, uh, family ties and hunting. So, uh, would we, and then we did Scrooged and gremlins for Christmas. So, yeah. And I, I think usually we squeeze, squeeze an extra one in there. Well, that is what we ended at people, two ones and a 1.5. Yeah. Yeesh.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:18

So, you know, Good Burger.

SPEAKER_01 1:34:20

Bad movie. Good

SPEAKER_02 1:34:22

Burger,

SPEAKER_03 1:34:23

bad movie. Shit movie. Ben, who else helps us with this?

SPEAKER_02 1:34:28

Jamie Henwood does our intro and outro themes. Chris Olds does our fun facts theme. Matthew Foskett does our what you doing, what are you excited themes that we interchange. Paul does a lot of work on this show and should be given a lot of credit for all of his little zany ads and sound effects and slams, whams, splash. You know what? You are the Nickelodeon. Don't point out things

SPEAKER_03 1:34:55

that I

SPEAKER_02 1:34:55

can't cope or

SPEAKER_03 1:34:57

deal with.

SPEAKER_02 1:34:58

Because you wanted to make those onomatopoeias.

SPEAKER_03 1:35:02

Watching Portlandia, which is full of a bunch of weird sound effects, I'm just like, oh god.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:09

I do a little few of the little interstitial stuff Melinda is there anything you want people to know about where can they follow you where can they find you

SPEAKER_01 1:35:18

yeah I'm on let's see I'm on blue sky follow me there follow me on Instagram Melinda H two L's in Melinda yeah and I would just say be on the lookout maybe by the time this is out the music video I mentioned earlier will be out I think also the first episode of our D&D show will be out. So I think we'll call it Herbs Hero Rehab. But yeah, I'm super excited for that. And yeah, good time.

SPEAKER_02 1:35:49

Nice. Thanks for coming back.

SPEAKER_01 1:35:52

Thank you guys for letting me be on this, my last episode of this show. No, you have to come to be a repeat customer. You have to wake up for

SPEAKER_02 1:36:01

this. You need to redeem yourself.

SPEAKER_01 1:36:03

I really

SPEAKER_02 1:36:03

do. You can follow us, the podcast, at ReviewX2Podcast on Instagram. I'm running RunBMC on Instagram and Letterboxd.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:12

I am Paul Axt, badly on Letterboxd. You can listen to this podcast on, I think, literally every platform available in America. Good Pods is one that we like. Wait, what? Oh.

SPEAKER_02 1:36:24

Oh,

SPEAKER_03 1:36:24

no, we have to. That's it. They said we haven't. It's been too long since we've talked about

SPEAKER_02 1:36:29

shit movie. Like, subscribe, eat your veggies and nothing else.

SPEAKER_03 1:36:35

No, fuck you, adult. Die.