The Review Review

RETROSPECTICUS 3 - This Just Can’t Be?!

Ben McFadden & Paul Root Season 3 Episode 33

Use Left/Right to seek, Home/End to jump to start or end. Hold shift to jump forward or backward.

0:00 | 1:44:15

Message us ANONYMOUSLY

3 whole seasons. Everyone, we’ve reached OVER the top! Now is the perfect time to commit to the bit, and the listen to "RETROSPECTICUS 3: THIS JUST CAN’T BE?!” With the maximum government allowed 33% new audio content! Up to and including, our fabulous “Review Review Rewards” segment, thank yous, some laughs, and not much more! Start the year off in style with us 1/6!

****A member of the “Review Review,” family is in the fight of her life, you can help! - TAP/CLICK HERE

Support the show

**All episodes contain explicit language**
Artwork - Ben McFadden
Review Review Intro/Outro Theme - Jamie Henwood
"What Are We Watching" & "Whatcha been up to?" Themes - Matthew Fosket
"Fun Facts" Theme - Chris Olds/Paul Root
Lead-Ins Edited/Conceptualized by - Ben McFadden
Produced by - Ben McFadden & Paul Root
Concept - Paul Root

SPEAKER_17:

Hello and welcome to the Review Review Movie Podcast Retrospecticus 3. This just can't be an episode filled with magic, with intrigue, with curses, with things you couldn't possibly buy anywhere, find anywhere. They're not real.

SPEAKER_25:

A partially but mostly not at all new episode to start our unprecedented fourth season here at The Review Review.

SPEAKER_17:

These are some of the best, worst, weirdest, funniest, randomest, rottenest, and rockin'est clips from the entire third season. I can say that as an authority, because I honk the honk and I tonk the fucking tonk, okay?

SPEAKER_25:

Another anniversary episode exploding at the seams with bite-sized pieces of every episode last year, making this the best or worst. Sure, or or worst way to introduce your friends and family to this audio infotainment program.

SPEAKER_17:

After we get through all of the aforementioned, just stay there in your seat for announcements about the Review Review podcast in the new year. It'll just kind of be tack tacked on to the end there. So, without further ado, fire up your trucks, cue up your quibbite content, content, TV contently.

SPEAKER_25:

Put your attorney Ted Theodore Logan Esquire from Harry, Alithgow, and Dylan on the speakerphone.

SPEAKER_16:

And kiss your NY film school degree goodbye on the way out the door for our self-satisfying celebration. The Retrospecticus 3. This just can't be.

SPEAKER_25:

You had to squeeze a masturbation joke in there?

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, you gotta pick your spots. That was the one to squeeze one off in there, real quick. So yeah. Okay, shut it down.

SPEAKER_25:

Attention, Hollywood 1448 Hollywood, the world's quickest theater festival, is back. That is right, we are back. 1448 Hollywood is back for the fourth season. That's right, we've done four years, people, and we are here bringing you some wild, random, chaotic art directly to your eyeballs. No AI involved. What is 1448 Hollywood, you might ask? 1448 Hollywood is a festival, a 48-hour theater festival where we bring in over 50 theater artists from across the Los Angeles area and beyond to participate and create and write and rehearse and direct and score and tech and light and present 14 plays in only 48 hours. What does that mean? That means on Thursday night we all get together and then our writers will go home that night and each write a 10-minute play, an original play based on a theme that we have chosen at random. They will deliver those plays Friday morning. The directors will pull what play they're doing at random. They'll pull which actors are in their play at random, and we rehearse all day. We present those Friday night. Friday night we pull a new theme, and the writers go home and write a brand new play. They turn those in Saturday and we do the whole dang thing over again. Performing 14 plays in only 48 hours. It is an amazing event. It is a beautiful gathering of com creative community, and we just want to share that with you. So you can come and check it out at the Broadwater main stage, which is in Hollywood on Santa Monica Bull Boulevard, February 6th and 7th. There are two shows a night, 7.30 p.m. and 9.30 p.m. And guess what? It's pay what you can. We will accept anything. Pocket lint, a million dollars, a quarter, um, a uh advice on what I should do with my hair now that I'm turning 40. That's a good question. I don't know. Should I bleach it? Should I have a uh, you know, should I go crazy? I'm not sure. But anyway, come on by. You'll see me. I'm sure you'll see the burrito. You might see some other folks that you're familiar with from the review review averse. I just made that up. There's a review review averse, and they will be around and you get to be part of this community as an audience member. And if you'd like to participate next year, you should come see it. Come volunteer, come hang out, and then we'll get you in there next year. Anyway, 1448 Hollywood, the world's quickest theater festival, an official company partner with the Broadwater, is performing February 6th and 7th, 2026, 7 30 p.m., 9 30 p.m. Pay what you can. We'll see you there.

SPEAKER_06:

This is fucking too hard. So go back to the club.

SPEAKER_17:

The Kingdom, Resident Evil Extinction. Good luck, Chuck. The 310 to Yuma remake.

SPEAKER_25:

Oh, Chef's Kiss on 310 to Yuma remake.

SPEAKER_17:

Great Western. Love that movie. Charles? Any thoughts? Um The Kingdom. That's a Jim. That's the Jimmy Fox joint. Uh yeah, that one. Sure, we could talk about that too. But what about 310 to Yuma with Christian Bale? I know.

SPEAKER_10:

So the uh Good Luck Chuck was a great movie as well. There's some flowers. We'll even 310 to you now.

SPEAKER_25:

Wait, was good wait, was Good Luck Chuck the uh the the Dane Cook. Dane Cook. Okay. But the aliens like shut.

SPEAKER_17:

Who shit on the coats? Someone should be. Other films from 2007, Fantastic Four, Rise of the Silver Surfer, Ghost Rider, B movie, Fred Claus, license to wed. It's fucking here. Fred Claus, Hannibal Rising, and you bet your ass wild hogs. Wait, what was uh Fred Claus the sequel? Nope.

SPEAKER_10:

Okay, just making sure.

SPEAKER_17:

I just wanted to make sure everyone knew. I it was so nice I had to add it twice. I did see wild hogs in the theaters that year. Oh and you live to tell the tale. That's incredible.

SPEAKER_10:

Oh no, no, no, no. I think I probably followed my dad. I think I probably rode the motorcycle like on the back seat out the movie theaters. Oh. Awesome.

SPEAKER_25:

I I I saw Fantastic Four Rise of the Silver Surfer in the movie theater. I did Schrider in the movie theater.

SPEAKER_17:

No. I saw I saw Kingdom. I saw The Kingdom in the theater.

SPEAKER_25:

Not a strong year.

SPEAKER_17:

I did not see this movie in the theater.

SPEAKER_25:

Being honest here, I'm not not impressed.

SPEAKER_37:

So forget about it, cuz.

SPEAKER_25:

But I did notice one thing, which there is such a thing as Colorado core, as in like how people dress, you know, how they Patagonia and No, that's where you're from. No, that's Northwest Core. Oh gosh. See, there is a difference. There is a difference. Yes, no, yeah, yeah, yeah. I consider myself Northwest Core. But I think Colorado core is slightly different. It's almost Montana core.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_25:

Like Car hearts, snow beans.

SPEAKER_08:

So is the beanie new then?

SPEAKER_25:

Uh my car heart beanie? No, this is not new.

SPEAKER_08:

Okay. I have that beanie.

SPEAKER_25:

You you what?

SPEAKER_17:

I have it in black, yeah.

SPEAKER_25:

I do like a good car heart beanie. They're nice and they're super. Good, it's warm.

SPEAKER_17:

I love their jackets.

SPEAKER_25:

I just noticed, I just noticed a lot of like tan leather.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah.

SPEAKER_25:

Oh. It was just one of those things.

SPEAKER_08:

It's Midwestern core.

SPEAKER_25:

It's a little Midwestern core. It's a little combo of Northwest, Midwest core. Okay.

SPEAKER_08:

I would say. Fair.

SPEAKER_25:

Because I I do think that there is a there is like something's weird about Denver where it does. I don't I don't know why Col I I don't know how Colorado is a blue state, if that makes sense. Like every time I go there, I'm like, what? How? But here we'll take it. Colleges. So anyway, it feels republicor.

SPEAKER_35:

The fuck is this? Your worst nightmare, butthorn. McBean! Yeah.

SPEAKER_17:

Another scene that really resonated with me is the a big storyline in this movie is this guy who has all these photos in Nino's photo album that have been torn and crumpled. And is he a serial killer? Does he is he terrified of aging? What what's happening? And when Nino runs into him because of Amelie's treasure hunt, and Nino's so relieved that this guy's just a photo booth repairman, like the world is just as simple as as you'd assume. This is all it is. Like great reveal. Yeah, to go, we're not gonna turn this into like a serial killer thing or whatever. This is this is what we are presenting it as.

SPEAKER_25:

But it also like what I love, what I love about this movie is that everybody's individual are so have such high stakes. Yeah.

SPEAKER_17:

It's about reclaiming their existence.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah. And and this this guy that haunts him in his in his in his photos, because he's created just like her, creates this whole narrative. Construct. Yep. Yeah, like we all do. Yep.

SPEAKER_30:

Like we all do. Like we all do.

SPEAKER_25:

Is so s it has such a you know, has such a simple banal uh reason behind it. Yeah. It's almost like makes me want to watch Paul Schrader.

SPEAKER_17:

Thank you very much.

SPEAKER_25:

It's almost like banal. It's almost like anti-conspiracy theory movie, Paul.

SPEAKER_17:

You know I hate that. You know that I know that the rich oligarchs are actually the board of directors running the shitty fucking CEO of if you'd like to make a call, please call it. So the geez, that is dangerous.

SPEAKER_25:

It was also in Feeling, Minnesota, Johnny, do not Pneumonic and Sonic 3, as well as many other things. Gary Busey Butter sausage. Get the butter.

SPEAKER_32:

Let's talk about butter sausage.

SPEAKER_25:

David, have you seen this?

SPEAKER_11:

No. I was I was looking at how you didn't have Rookie of the Year as part of his problem.

SPEAKER_17:

Good call, the Daniel Stern film Rookie of the Year. You are gonna hear a couple of salesbury steak I've ever had in my life. You're gonna hear a couple of fucking wild sound bites back to back momentarily here. One more. It's exciting for you. One more. Bushwacked anyone? Yeah. Oh man.

SPEAKER_35:

One more back, boys! Golden arches.

SPEAKER_25:

There's this uh I think it's a fake, it's like a comedian pretending to be Gary Busey interview where he's like, it's supposed to be an interview about real estate. We've mentioned it on this podcast before.

SPEAKER_31:

Oh yeah.

SPEAKER_25:

But then Gary, but then he just says, like, I want to talk about butter sausage. It's like, what? He's like, I put butter on the sausage and I put it on, I'm gonna put it touch on my lips. And it's just like it's insane.

SPEAKER_17:

And he just clicks it off the comedian estate real estate guy.

SPEAKER_25:

Rocco's dead, by the way. Right, but we missed the somehow very convincing Willem Dafoe drag performance. We have that somehow not one, but two full-grown adult, human adult men see this and think that is definitely a woman, and I'm very attracted to them.

SPEAKER_17:

One of them says, Mario's always getting us the top shelf pussy. And clearly it's like, oh, cool. Well, that's Willem Defoe. That's famous actor Willem Defoe. I'd like to go over the movies he's been in just recently, often including Steve too.

SPEAKER_25:

You can very clearly see it.

SPEAKER_31:

That is not a top shelf pussy.

SPEAKER_25:

Even if you don't think it's a man right away, you cannot in any capacity look at him and go, oh, that's top shelf. But it's just that it's not just one person, it's two men. Two guys, you're doing a twofa. Like if it was just one guy who hadn't ever gotten laid and was like, oh yeah, I need to get, but no, it's two guys. And the thing that clues him into being not is when he sees his wig pop up a little bit.

SPEAKER_17:

A little bit, not you're like and he's like, but what did you look at his face at all? Or the control top pantyhose holding his what Lars von Trier has referred to as uncomfortably large penis?

SPEAKER_25:

His hand, like there's nothing convincing feminine at all.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, no.

SPEAKER_25:

We're doing like Master of Disguise.

SPEAKER_17:

The only thing that could have gotten this movie a one accent from a half accent is when the wig came off Willem Defoe in the guy the ball. Oh no, wait, there's two things. When the wig came off, if the guy went, oh no, famous actor Willem Defoe. Surprise, surprise.

SPEAKER_25:

I was like, that was that entire sequence. I was like, what in the living fuck am I watching right now? Oh my god. It just like Willem Defoe and Steve Bishemi are two actors that you can't you can't mask who they are.

SPEAKER_17:

And I've seen both in drag, yeah.

SPEAKER_25:

It's just uh I just don't have any more words to describe how I feel about that moment. Oh my lord. Okay.

SPEAKER_17:

Dwayne. Destroying.

SPEAKER_04:

Knocking it down, breaking the windows and pushing down the statues and stuff.

SPEAKER_25:

It's so good. It looked really fun to film.

SPEAKER_04:

Yeah, I was having that same thought. Yeah, I was just like, they just pushed that thing down.

SPEAKER_17:

So good. So it was just like a rage room, like essentially, it was really great.

SPEAKER_25:

And Kirsty Alley gets out of prison somehow.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, she like breaks out, she vows to break out.

SPEAKER_25:

And it's just like a sniper on the roof of the furniture store.

SPEAKER_04:

In the bell tower. Starts shooting people, yeah, and then and then famously Kirsten Dunn becomes a becomes a news reporter. She's just like, oh, this news reporter dies. I'm just gonna pick it up, and then she just starts talking about it.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah, she has even checked to be like, Are you okay? Oh my god, she's like, yeah.

SPEAKER_17:

This is Amber Atkins. Kirsty Halley shoots the news reporter in the head before the microphone hits the ground.

SPEAKER_36:

Yes.

SPEAKER_17:

Kirsten Dunce grabs it because her idol is Diane Sawyer. It's been made very clear. He didn't say that.

SPEAKER_04:

She loves Diane Sawyer.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, and so she's ready to step in and do the Diane Sawyer thing, and we find out like that is the trajectory for her character. Again, falls into another opportunity. But capable, ready, as she has proven through this. Well, well put, everyone.

SPEAKER_04:

I think my favorite part of that scene when the first shot happens, someone going, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap, oh crap.

SPEAKER_25:

Like the far that accent in is just so funny, you know. It is. It's like in Fargo when it's like, oh yeah, I know I saw Margie down at the office. I told her, well, a G.

SPEAKER_08:

It's okay.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_37:

Well Barry who wanted to who wants to be an actor. I've been mad at HBO though. Well, why is that?

SPEAKER_17:

Since they canceled Arles! Evil Dead 2 and postcards from the Edge. Gaius, you have some fun facts for us.

SPEAKER_36:

Fun facts, fun facts, everybody. It's fun fact time.

SPEAKER_39:

Fun facts. This film spawned two direct-to-video sequels with Arnold Vaslou from Hard Toggard and the Mummy. Emote. Taking over for Liam Nixon in the lead role of Darkman. Larry Drake reprised the role of Durant in the second installment, The Returner Direct. And I would uh feel remiss not to mention the third one called Darkman 3 Die, Darkman Die, because it's very direct.

SPEAKER_25:

Die Dark Man Die? No, die Dark Man.

unknown:

That's Dark 4.

SPEAKER_17:

The goggles they do not sing. Darkman 4. Some goggles they do not sing. They do not sing.

SPEAKER_39:

The movie is loaded with uncredited small appearances of notable industry types, such as Joel Cohen, Ethan Cohen, Ginny Agutter, Neil McDonough, Stark Cornfield producer, William Lestick producer, Scott Spiegel, Professor Toru Tanaka, and of course Bruce Campbell. Bill Paxton and Bruce Campbell were considered for the role of Peyton Westlake slash Darkman. And after being unable to secure the rights to the shadow and Batman, Sam Raimi created his own original character, drawing pieces of inspiration from the Hostback of Notre Dame, Phantom of the Opera, and The Elephant Man. Just a sign of possible uh troubles on set. This film went through 12 pre-production production drafts of the script, including at least one uncredited pass by uh the Cohen brothers.

SPEAKER_17:

Not bad folks to do a pass.

SPEAKER_39:

That's a lot of passes, though.

SPEAKER_25:

They were all friends. I heard so I heard that. Yeah, I guess so. I heard that Raimi had Campbell in the lead and Universal wouldn't move forward.

SPEAKER_39:

They said no, yeah. Because he thinks he was gonna be a draw. As an actor, you need to stop.

SPEAKER_25:

But was Liam Easton the big thing then? Yeah, I mean, this is before Schindler's list, right?

SPEAKER_17:

I said like this weird dog thing, and it starts flying, and Jerry Garcia in a pouch, and like all the things they're spending money on, it's like dumb stoner shit. Yeah. And they bring back more cameos, like more smoker types. And that's how the that's their A to B with the sketches going, we're gonna escalate is like, okay, here's Samson. Which, like, if you watch drug dealer movies like New Jack City or Dead Presidents or or Sugar Hill or these types of things, like you're like, oh, it makes sense that there's another dealer who's like, oh no, no, no, no, no. Yeah, but it also is like, what the fuck is happening? Also, low stakes.

SPEAKER_22:

Scarface gets caught and just like.

SPEAKER_17:

And Samson just laughs at him. Clarence Williams III is a gem.

SPEAKER_25:

A gem. I think the like this weird genre, like shark turn to Bond villain with female guards in this weird movie that's felt kind of semi-based in reality. Not really anything too outlandish.

SPEAKER_17:

Other than people like flying when they're high. Yeah.

SPEAKER_25:

Put that around that context. But in this, introducing this villain that again feels like a Bond rebuff you're like.

SPEAKER_17:

Slightly different world. It's like Austin Powersy. Yeah, yeah. You're like, what is what is this again? What are we gonna watch on?

SPEAKER_22:

All of his weapons are categorized because like the crossbow is 814.

SPEAKER_25:

Is that supposed to be a joke?

SPEAKER_17:

Is it a bond thing? Is it a reference to something? I it it falls flat for me. I don't know, I don't understand it.

SPEAKER_22:

I was like, does he have 813 other weapons? I you're right. At least one's a crossbow, one's a fucking crossbow. All different types of crossbows?

SPEAKER_17:

I I don't know. When he does the Jamaican thing, though, it is kind of funny to me when Chappelle's like, I don't know why I'm lying, I don't know why I'm wearing this hat. Like, I'm sorry. Like that kind of gets me. And right after this, when he goes to Deal to Mary Jane, where he doesn't understand what's going on. He's so stupid. He doesn't understand he's going to marry Jane that she's gonna catch him, and he goes to rehab, which is essentially like in a big carnival tent that's more like AA. Not an NA. It just says rehab. But Bob Sagitt showing up is great. Fantastic. I used to suck dick for Coke. R I P You Never suck some dick for. Marijuana? I miss Bobstay. Boo this man. Yeah, Bobstag was great. Stories from my friends next door. They never told. He was always willing to tell me.

SPEAKER_25:

He told me.

SPEAKER_17:

He would tell me I would be a star tonight. I would let the camera roll. For the red, the white, and the blue. The funny things you do, you're full of unserious people, and I'm very upset about it. Sorry. What? R.I.P. Bobstagie. The red, white, and blue is full of unserious people. Is everybody okay?

SPEAKER_16:

I'm I'm lost.

SPEAKER_06:

Something is run in the state of Denmark. And Hamlet is taking out the trash. Who said I'm fair?

SPEAKER_30:

As he's got the everyman working class bona fides. Saying the phrase working class bona fides is such a fucking piece of shit.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_30:

Own goal.

SPEAKER_16:

Um let's rock and or roll. Wait, hold on, Paul. Whoa. Do you want to play the game?

SPEAKER_17:

I would like to play uh the game. Would you like to play uh the game? I it's my that's what I ask you. The specificity of the uh is important.

SPEAKER_30:

I'm fucking over the game, bro. I don't wanna A, I lost the game like nine times. Oh shit.

SPEAKER_25:

I just lost the game.

SPEAKER_30:

And B, I have no I'm done with the game. We're over the game. Can you guess what movie we did? Oh, yeah.

SPEAKER_25:

I hate to break it to you. We're still in the game. Still in the game.

SPEAKER_30:

Damn it.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, the game does not end until you get the eternal slumber. That is your prize. That's the end of the game. Whoa, that got dark.

SPEAKER_30:

Oh, I think it's no, I think it's fucking spoiler alert, Groundhog's Day. You have to forgive your ex-wife and and and be glad your brother's alive, and then you get to get off the train.

SPEAKER_17:

And despite everything you did to them or didn't do for them, you can forgive them for what you did to them.

SPEAKER_25:

We're not at the end of the movie yet, but we are at the beginning of this podcast.

SPEAKER_17:

Absolutely, we are. Hi, everyone. That was the voice of your co-host. His name is Ben.

SPEAKER_25:

Benjamin, if you're not into the whole brevity thing.

SPEAKER_17:

Oh, fucking hey. I am a co-host. My name is Paul. You also heard the voice of our fabulous returning guest, Liz Ellis, here.

SPEAKER_30:

Who is not into the brevity thing, which is uh watchless adventure fan.

SPEAKER_03:

That's where you're going, you son of a bitch!

SPEAKER_34:

You're not so tough without your car, are you?

SPEAKER_17:

Like you don't have to be. You can love these things and and understand these things, but you don't have to be what these people or these ideals or these things tried to make you.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah, finding finding beauty in violent things or finding beauty in ugly things or broken things. Uh, there's a martial art instructor that probably said kind of something that is so so important, right? Is like the art of fighting without fighting, right? The the greatest martial art, the greatest use of martial arts is to not get in a fight. And I think that that that idea that this guy that was basically like violent and ugly both externally, right? The beast is dirty externally now. Yeah. You know, we see that character in Akuma and you know Street Fighter, we see this character in anime quite often, right? I've gone all the way around, I've seen everything everyone once, I've seen everything, and now nothing matters, right? And here's a character that in this moment is so humbled that now Sing is like, I can teach you this, right? I can teach you nonviolence, which is the coolest thing to do at the end of a Kung Fu movie, where most of what you want to see is punchy punchy. You want to see him punch this dude, but also the idea that we're seeing the walls being broken down in this, you know, walled city, this this slum. It's open. We see literal Buddha enter, you know, this space is cool. Yeah.

SPEAKER_21:

Uh he's one of those new computerized kind. But I thought you said you had him a long time. I have.

SPEAKER_05:

He just got new microchips. Amazing. And all of the like background characters are oddly very real.

SPEAKER_17:

Gator fans. They're all gator fans.

SPEAKER_05:

They're all gator fans. I do love that running bit.

SPEAKER_17:

It got me one time really good. That was one of the moments.

SPEAKER_05:

Which one?

SPEAKER_17:

The Gator fan one where they're on the radio, like at the airport, and something Farina does or whatever. I just it fucking got me. That they never just I appreciate so hard when a bit is not let go of.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah. Especially when it if it doesn't land quite so well the first time and then it just ups it the second, and then it goes for a fifth time.

SPEAKER_17:

I appreciate a commitment to to a bit.

SPEAKER_05:

I do too. I do want to ask how much of a bump you thought Tucci got for licking Sophia Vegara's toes.

SPEAKER_17:

You mean how much did he pay them out of his check?

SPEAKER_05:

I I I don't understand the full setting thing. I'm true, so I don't either. I don't either. I I don't like a mouth anywhere in your toes is so gross.

SPEAKER_17:

I can only imagine you would do that if you'd be willing to pay to do it. Like, I don't know. Like, I I don't know. I can't fathom any of it, but let's say I mean, because to me that does see that to me, that would be a stunt bump.

SPEAKER_05:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_17:

And I would want a few grand for it.

SPEAKER_05:

Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Uh-huh. Yeah. There would be a writer in my contract that if I have to do anything.

SPEAKER_17:

I keep all my costumes. I keep the Geo Metro. And the foot thing, we're we're talking about that.

SPEAKER_05:

And at the rap party, I get squirted in the face by the frog. Yeah, there you go. Yes. Oh my god.

SPEAKER_17:

The dog is hallucinating. Like it that also, and whatever is happening with the dog, like in that moment when the dog gets squirted, it doesn't like super work for me. Like it's like apparently the dog just always like the narration.

SPEAKER_05:

I honestly don't remember whether it was uh we or Tim Allen, but someone explains that the dog hadn't really eaten anything but dirt for the last couple of days because this weird random frog is blocking his food bowl. Right. And apparently um Bertha Stewart really did come and shoot the like face stuff when he's tripping balls. Yeah.

SPEAKER_35:

But Wather, you created a monster, and they call him Frickin' Stein.

unknown:

What am I watching?

SPEAKER_31:

Watch it. What am I watching?

SPEAKER_25:

PCJ, man. Mmm. PCJ. I I love it. I finished it. I I finished it. I I went I went hard. I went hard, man. I was Brooklyn, we go hard. I was watching it on the treadmill. I would watch an episode while I did a little run-in. I watched it while eating breakfast, have my coffee. I went hard.

SPEAKER_17:

So good.

SPEAKER_25:

And I think, yeah, it's so good. It's a Jeopardy show that doesn't make me feel stupid, which I appreciate.

SPEAKER_17:

Normally it's only celebrity for me, where I'm like, I could do this.

SPEAKER_25:

Or youth jeopardy or something.

SPEAKER_17:

Trivial pursuit for kids. I'm ready. I'm in.

SPEAKER_25:

And I don't think I could ever actually go on a show like that. I think the pressure would just be too much for me. Like I, you know, even though I would know a lot of it for the most part, I I just think pressure is too hard. But what I was impressed with, as you know, that I used to host trivia, I thought Colin Jose was a pretty damn good host. Yeah, I liked him. It's a hard line to host something like that. And I thought he I thought he did a good job of doing both his own thing and also kind of blending into the background. So yeah, I I went hard and I uh I enjoyed it. Thanks for the wreck.

SPEAKER_38:

She might survive this. She might be able to fight.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, because I I immediately, like, when she comes barreling out and she thinks it's mustache guy or whatever, I'm like, well, I I don't know what her survival skills are, but like that's the thing you make a really good point that I had forgotten, where it's just a thing where it's like, I cannot remove the fact that I know that this character that's totally fucking random, that I've never met, don't know what her purpose is or whatever, and she comes and gives me the fucking the whole timeline, everything. My husband was this person, my son was this person, this happened, then this is she tells me everything, and it's like, oh, okay, this is clearly the person. And I like that there's not like a game from there where it's like, no, this lady's fucking crazy. And the movie starts hitting more of like, oh, this is psycho more than it is Halloween.

SPEAKER_38:

Oh, a hundred percent.

SPEAKER_17:

Where it's like, all these people are getting killed, we don't know who it is, and we think it's the mom, and it's not the mom, it's really the son.

SPEAKER_38:

And in this case, we think the final girl that we thought was gonna be the final girl gets killed off at the very beginning of the movie, and it's psycho.

SPEAKER_17:

So, okay, I'm so glad I hit that with you. Like, because like I was like, oh my god, this is hitting me harder that this is psycho more than anything else than it ever really has. When Mrs. Vohees losing it, is losing it and does the voice, that's when it really hits me that it's like the Norman Bates thing where it's like mother, mother, and like mother, killer, mother, killer, killer, killer that whole thing, which is great. And Betsy Palmer's great, it was such a good casting. Love the sweater. I almost gave the sweaters, but Mrs. Voorhees finds Alice in the woods immediately, and this fight in this little cabin or auxiliary room or whatever is fucking it's hilarious and dopey. And when she throws the ball of twine at her, I lost it. I don't want to hurt this lady, and I understand it's a more innocent person, it's a more innocent time, she doesn't want to hurt this lady, she doesn't want to feel responsible for it. I understand all of it, but I'm like, there's a level of it's like, oh, you hit her in the forearm with that ball of twine, brutal. No, it's it's more like a this is a little bit your fight or flight kicks in, I think, at some point. And I think it by this point you're not throwing balls of twine at people, and so it's like that's that's the heart versus the star.

SPEAKER_38:

I think there's a level of stupidity, so there's this thing where we're like, these kids aren't smart, and it's just like, oh, she's very innocent, you said the kids in Springfield are SOB. We gotta think that she might not be able to make it because there's a stupidity aspect here. Like she's gotta be the audience is being has to say that.

SPEAKER_17:

The audience has to go out the front door, get out the front door, yeah. Yeah, I get what you're saying.

SPEAKER_38:

Why are you throwing thread at her?

SPEAKER_17:

Why are you throwing thread at her? Okay, okay.

SPEAKER_38:

And that's somebody knowing their audience being very mad at that moment because it should be so easy for her. She's in a room full of guns. She's in a room full of guns. It's insane. Why not hit her with a gun?

SPEAKER_17:

It feels it feels budgety. It feels to a degree like you're doing such a fucking great job of making pieces fit and making this puzzle maybe even more beautiful than it is, which is what you're supposed to be doing. That's the point of this podcast. Oh, 100%. Wow, you're really it's like you've been here before, you've done this before, you've met before. I slash go on here and slash you that do that too that you're other films from 1973. Jonathan Livingston, Steven Siegel, The Day of the Dolphin, Enter the Dragon, Serpico, okay, Paper Moon, and The Exorcist. Go back, listen to our Believe me?

SPEAKER_25:

Go back to listen to our Exorcist New episode where we did Exorcist next to Exorcist Believer, which is I'm not exaggerating. Exorcist Believer is one of the worst movies ever made.

unknown:

It's real.

SPEAKER_33:

Not exaggerating. But exactly rough. Exorcist. And you guys did that intentionally, watch back to back.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah, we have a version of the program called New New where we'll like we did the original Roadhouse, and then we watched the remake of Roadhouse. Oh, nice. And we'll talk about them. And usually it always, I mean, I think more and often it ends up being like, why did we watch the remake? It sucks.

SPEAKER_17:

We may be doing a very special super duper one this year. We'll see how it goes.

SPEAKER_36:

Check the timeout.

SPEAKER_33:

Alright. I'm gonna have to guess what that is based on coming.

SPEAKER_16:

It's a secret.

SPEAKER_33:

So you mentioned a lot of movies that I'd never heard of. Siegel, Jonathan Livingston Siegel, and Day of the Dolphin, and then you ended on four bangers. Yeah. Dragon, Serpico, Paper Moon, and The Exorcist. All timers.

SPEAKER_17:

Apparently, the Day of the Dolphin is the shit. It's something about like a dolphin being programmed to kill the president or some crazy ass shit. And it's I don't remember if it's George C. Scott or Rod Steiger. One of those like 70s Machismo dudes is in it. But I want to see that movie. Apparently, it's wild.

SPEAKER_25:

Wait, we can program dolphins to kill the president? Can you give me the details?

SPEAKER_17:

If you want it bad enough, you can travel back in time, Ben, if you want it bad enough. You don't need a machine. Have you learned nothing? No, I don't from somewhere in time.

SPEAKER_25:

No, I don't. I don't. I purposely try to not win.

SPEAKER_26:

Who were we? The Wildcats! Who were we gonna beat?

SPEAKER_31:

The Wildcats!

SPEAKER_17:

Fucking A. We're at the end of this movie. We all rated this as a five. I think we all were on each other's poles, hands up and down, and the whole deal, but uh we'll that remains to be seen. Damien. We've talked about this for quite a while.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_17:

I wish I would have allowed you to talk more. I'm so sorry.

SPEAKER_25:

I feel like I talked more than I uh should have, so you're good.

SPEAKER_17:

Uh no, in editing, I'll wish I spoke way less.

SPEAKER_25:

I uh I don't think I like this movie. And I'll tell you why. Um let's go back to the beginning. No, I just started the movie. Start the movie. It's so funny how I came into this like thinking about prompts and thinking about like oh, we're gonna probably, I think the most compelling conversation will probably be talking about like comparing it to Raiders and things that we've touched on that, and and we might even kind of like talk about that a tiny bit as we're wrapping up the rankings and stuff. You just dive into this movie and like we kind of stopped making jokes and we kind of stopped, we just got so deep into like uh how earnestly uh uh uh wonderful this movie is and how the depth of it. And it's so the movie is so effortless that you're just not constantly grappling with that the depth that it provides. Makes me just appreciate it all the more. I mean, that hasn't necessarily changed my mind about anything per se, but the fact that we just were able to kind of like get into just a groove talking about this movie on on so many different levels. There's so many things I still want to go back and like talk about. It's just like a an uh a nod to how incredible it is. It's a celebration, bitch. Yeah, this is a birthday party after all. So yeah, it is still it is still five Wilhelm screams for Damien.

SPEAKER_37:

Son, your ego's writing checks your body can't cash. Well, that is a terrific line. I feel like I understand everything about this movie just from the one line. That's good writing, you know. And I don't know about airplanes.

SPEAKER_17:

Hey, these people that are like not repressed and want to like, you know, have this animal attraction and animal physicality like Janet wants and gets with Rocky, that these people like must be like alien. They can't like they can't even be of this earth. They're so sexually charged.

SPEAKER_25:

Is this movie really good?

SPEAKER_02:

Alright. I feel like I'm really getting really torn on the more we talk about it. I'm I was like, we're making some really good points. I really, I really agree with that. Okay, and just to say, structurally, as a writer, as a writer, I just have to say, please, we're getting into you know, we got into we got the inciting incident, we got into our break, you know, we get into the castle, and then we're like coming the fun and games section, and then midpoint Dr. Scott shows up, and then new character, and then suddenly we have to deal with the consequences. Like suddenly, Brad sees Janet having fucked. Rocky, you know, like every and like suddenly we're dealing with the consequences of consequences of Dr. Dr. Scott. That's like a real script structure.

SPEAKER_25:

Oh it's just it's just so great. It just keeps going.

SPEAKER_17:

Should we try to do that?

SPEAKER_25:

I just didn't. I just did it.

SPEAKER_17:

Oh, I was gonna say, should we do it one, two, three, one, two, three?

SPEAKER_25:

Uh it goes Brad. Dr. Scott. No, that's no, let's fuck it. Like, keep going.

SPEAKER_17:

It is inarguably the funniest part of the movie, though, for me.

SPEAKER_02:

Okay, and the hottest outfit is in the same scene, is when Frankenfurter is wearing the sexy outfit from earlier and then wearing like a cool leather jacket over it with like all over. It's a very cool costume piece.

SPEAKER_25:

It's so funny because I in my entire time of watching this, Frankenfurter has never been very attractive to me. Janet obviously is stellar. And then like Brad and Rocky are obviously interesting. Like stunning stuff. Brad to a degree, especially at the end when his like weird dance moves come out. I'm like, this guy's fucking weird. I like this. I don't know. Frankenfurter's never done it for me.

SPEAKER_02:

Frankfurter's the sexiest one to me.

SPEAKER_17:

Frankenfurter is the one that's that stuck out in my mind more than anyone else, I think, even more than Janet. Like that that character embodies this movie, I think.

SPEAKER_02:

Columbia is also pretty hot. I don't like Columbia, but when Columbia is wearing, there's two Columbia nipple moments.

SPEAKER_26:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_02:

One is Columbia with the nipples at the end, but also there's a moment where Columbia is wearing pajamas where they have like little random holes in them.

SPEAKER_25:

Because that's when they're singing touch me, right?

SPEAKER_02:

And at one point though, she like pulls down her shirt and it has holes in random parts, and she pulls down her shirt just so one nipple pops out of a little hole. And I was like, that actress is such a fucking freak.

SPEAKER_37:

I don't want to fight you. Well, tough rocks, pal.

SPEAKER_16:

A Jose can seco fat. Tell me you didn't pay money for this.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, the the lady when Jarrell's like, by the way, everybody here, we're gonna fucking die. Y'all, we thought that general guy was the problem. No, this place is just like fucked. And that lady's like, uh, excuse me, there's just gonna be a change in like the gravitational pull and polarity and whatever. And I'm just thinking, like, lady, that's that sounds very bad. Like, that sounds like your planet is going to explode. Like, you're one of the smart people, though, I guess. And they send Jorel and Laura Laura? Laura? Laura, yeah. Laura. They send their their only son, Kalel, to Earth because Jorel knows that the yellow sun of the earth is going to give Kalel, Superman, this great strength and power, and he will he is beyond he is the most human of human. He is concerned about he's the most, most, most moral. It just is coming off that way. Even as this the ship on the string escapes, and we're going through the space composite photography that feels like 2001, and he's being bombarded with this stuff. It's like, oh, he's just he's being bombarded with knowledge. This isn't Charlie Blanca on Street Fighter. Like, no, this is this is the just the good parts.

SPEAKER_09:

And the sound is so good the way it plays with that voiceover, and when the voiceover kind of melds into other historical facts or scientific facts or these things, you really feel this sense of time passing in that ship. Like it really does.

SPEAKER_17:

Especially as he ages, it's really cool.

SPEAKER_09:

As he's aging, and and we're just getting with sound and image, right?

SPEAKER_17:

Like it's it's a really growing way to soft colors kind of change. It's very, very cool. And that one the one green crystal that he has brought with him, like which I believe must be kryptonite, because it I mean it it's not, and that always confused me as a kid. Yeah, because I thought kryptonite superman returns, like kryptonite can grow land or some such, I guess.

SPEAKER_09:

Yeah, I think that they kind of play with it and they say it is, but it's not that type of kryptonite. And we could get into the nerdm of it.

SPEAKER_12:

I could use the white nerd interrogatory.

SPEAKER_09:

It's cryptodong. It's crypto dang. But I will nerd description of what that crystal is. But yes, it's I invested in crypto. But five people right now are probably pissed that I'm not breaking down what that crystal actually is. But yeah.

SPEAKER_17:

No, it's less than that, Moses. I promise you, it's less than that.

SPEAKER_23:

For you, the day bison graced your village was the most important day of your life. But for me, it was Tuesday.

SPEAKER_17:

Anyone's good intentions. Maybe these people had the right or they had intentions that had a good target, but the methodology is fucking insane.

SPEAKER_14:

They're not Robin Hood, and they're not in tights. I mean, both are true. Tight tights. Right.

unknown:

Okay.

SPEAKER_14:

So then I see your point, Ben, where there's like is there's some some valor in this, or like some sure they're trying to stick it to the man or like help the common man, or but I feel like that's it's kind of a lot with the movie and how Polynek writes as well with how Fincher kind of interpreted it, which is it's leaving it up to your discretion and your dissertion. It's kind of like theater of the mind, where you can kind of go down rabbit holes and like have your opinion about it. It could be one or the other, or neither. Yeah. With that idea, it was really just anarchy. Um, yeah, right. In the same way with the that song by the Pixies, Forever is seared into my mind. I hear that song, I see the buildings blowing up. That's cinema, that's cinema history, is that shot for sure. Oh, it's great. With that, with that song, like that shot in that scene.

SPEAKER_17:

It's very specific, yeah.

SPEAKER_14:

So specific.

SPEAKER_17:

The music in this movie is so important to the movie. When when Bob is killed, and we were talking about fever dreams and putting things together, lets his his testosterone loose, his ultimate male side with these guys, and it fucking gets him killed. And they bury him in the fucking yard, and this is like a cat. Yeah, another the flight coupons and the Edward Norton going through and piecing together, Ben's wiping his eyes a little bit. Like, yeah, like, dude, I know what you're gonna find out. Just I know you're gonna visit these bars, you're gonna meet these people, you're gonna meet a dude with a you know, head cage thing because he had a broken neck or some shit. I know all this. Just get there.

SPEAKER_14:

Yeah. There's something about the c the level of cultiness that I don't think would have translated if they tried to cut 10-15 minutes out of that part of the movie. It might have felt a little contrived or a little a lot of it is already asking you to believe a lot or just like trust them. You know what I mean? Or that they how could they believe in this club? Like you you just kind of like trust that they've been brainwashed. It really lays it of like Tyre uh of how Tyler turned them into not their own. It isn't what's another example of where they say um The Walking Dead, right? Where they all say they're the same person. I am I don't know. The guy with the with the the bat. There's a similar thing. The Negan, whatever. I am Negan. Yeah, so in that movie, there's a in that show, excuse me, that they have the similar thing where they they all are the same person, and it almost kind of feels like that too.

SPEAKER_17:

Like we're all human in the end, yeah.

SPEAKER_14:

Right, right. And how they all portrayed, you know, we're all what's his name? Um, the dead guy.

SPEAKER_17:

Rick, I don't know.

SPEAKER_14:

No, no, no. It could be anybody Shane, stinky boy in the movie Ted Danson. Wait, in this movie? In this movie, oh Bob Paul. Bob Paul is the dead guy. Robert Paulson. That made me think of we are Negan. Usually we just type a bunch of cats together.

SPEAKER_06:

We originally bonded up over football, and these two are avid uh Seattle Seahawk fans, and I am, of course, being from the beautiful state of Dallas, Texas. That's not a state, that's a city. Well, one of the city and a state. It's a city state, more of a nation state, actually. And at any point, you guys just beware. At any point, we can secede.

SPEAKER_16:

And it's the choice of a new generation. Coco beware. Again. Okay, yeah. Coco beware.

SPEAKER_06:

I of course, being from Texas, I became a New England Patriots fan. Oh, yeah. Naturally. Yeah, as one does, because the Dallas Cowboys are abysmal. We agree on that. And they aren't America's team. Like they literally aren't. Like at my team.

SPEAKER_27:

They're jurors' team. All right. You understand what I'm doing here. I know football. This episode brought to you by Jerry Jones. They'll play what I tell them to play.

SPEAKER_06:

Within the first 30 minutes. I love that.

SPEAKER_27:

Shit.

SPEAKER_25:

This episode brought to you by Corporate Fascism. Corporate fascism signs off. Let's keep it going.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. Anyway, uh, so yeah, from Texas, uh moved out here to California January 1st, 2019. Oh, good time. Good timing. One of the best timings to be an actor and to work right before uh just a big explosion of in the industry. I got involved in a play at the Chance Theater in Anaheim, and I met Jess. It was the first thing you ever did uh out here. That was the first thing you did here. Yep.

SPEAKER_25:

Oh wow, I didn't know that.

SPEAKER_06:

Yeah. I went to school at Lee Strasbourg for like, you know, whatever. Because I Googled method acting schools like an idiot from Texas, and they were like, six thousand dollars for twelve weeks. By the way, love street Lee Strasbourg. Yeah, cough, exactly. That's how I would react to six thousand dollars for twelve weeks. Yeah. Corporate fascism. Pretty good, yeah. Kind of the Jerry Jones of acting schools.

SPEAKER_39:

Looks like we'll have to steal some other baseball team.

SPEAKER_26:

Come in here, I'm gonna teach you how to act, I'm gonna teach you how to comedy, I'm gonna teach you how to flip, I'm gonna teach you how to twirl, I'm gonna teach you.

SPEAKER_06:

You don't need a quarterback, I can do it. Lee Strasberg and Jerry Jones have a lot in common.

SPEAKER_25:

And now, Sam, you I feel like you're working all the time.

SPEAKER_06:

I have been, yeah, of late. I've that was, you know, I feel blessed because that's always what I wanted to do. Yeah. I came out to do plays because I was like similar to the mindset that I had when I was in Texas of like, what can I do? You can get on stage and you can sing. Okay, well, I don't know how to sing. Yeah. I'll figure it out. Okay, we can get on stage and act. Okay, I don't really know how to do that. We'll figure it out. What I always loved was, you know, obviously film the TV. Yeah. I wanted to do that for forever. Uh, Paul and I have a question about one of your credits.

SPEAKER_25:

Go ahead. Paul.

SPEAKER_17:

Oh, it has to be me. Well, I just I want to know what you're working on and excited about, but we also need to know about this stalking Amish boy, Amish boy stalker.

SPEAKER_06:

Uh, yeah. So that's one of that's one of the best films that's ever been made. If you guys want to go take a look, it's a top 100 uh lifetime movie. It's it's was it a lifetime movie? It is a lifetime movie. When I signed on to do it, it was originally called uh abduction. It's a better title. That's a great name. Yeah, and then Lifetime bought it and they turned it into stalked by my Amish boyfriend.

SPEAKER_31:

Yes.

SPEAKER_06:

Now, Ben, when you see that title, yeah, what thoughts and feelings and emotions elicit out of you? And like what do you think at the end of the day? Oh, this could be a what is this gonna be about? Is it like a space opera, maybe?

SPEAKER_25:

It um I think it kind of puts it out there for me to to know right right off the bat what you're gonna get, what exactly I'm gonna get.

SPEAKER_06:

So funny story, not much stalking happened. So there you go. Are you Amish though?

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, is there is there much Amish? Is there much barn raising? Is there much yeah, building and uh working and uh milking?

SPEAKER_06:

What is that? Is it witness? Yeah, I wish there was I wish there was some witness.

SPEAKER_17:

Kingpin? Oh yeah, or yeah, witness, witness is good.

SPEAKER_25:

What's the one with Tim Allen and Christy Alley?

SPEAKER_06:

For richer or poorer. For richer or poorer. What did you say? I said home improvement.

SPEAKER_25:

Oh, and we got a Tim Allen now. Every time we mention someone, Paul Paul's going to pop it in.

SPEAKER_32:

See my shirt. Only a little cheaty. Not my church. Be mindful of why they hired you.

SPEAKER_17:

Here's a reality check, D.Va. We're gonna bring everything at him and kill these people. And the Dixie Boy goes up like it fucking the the Hindenburg, blimp the Hindenburg story as people are fucking escaping.

SPEAKER_20:

That's gotta hurt. That's not I had to. I had to. I had to. Oh god there's one. I'm glad there's one Seinfeld fan in here. I'm I'm so happy.

SPEAKER_25:

When there have been a lot of Seinfeld. When they get to the Burger Lean, because they've escaped now.

unknown:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_25:

They say, and it's like talking to them through the burger, somehow talking to them. It's not like that was weird. It's not like the burger lean. Why is that the name of a restaurant, first off? It's so weird. It's not like it has a computer voice that takes orders. That's a person that talks through there. Yeah. How is it talking to people?

SPEAKER_17:

It becomes an out megaphone. They go through this sewer tunnel under this channel thing, and they end up at this that fast food side. And the kid had his aggression is taken out on this fast food side, and then he's like, I'm good.

SPEAKER_25:

I laughed so hard because after he shot at it, he goes, I don't want this anymore. And just hands the gun off.

SPEAKER_20:

That was no fun. Got it out of my system. I'm done.

SPEAKER_25:

And I was like, Yeah, guns don't kill people. Machines kill people.

SPEAKER_17:

Stephen King apparently is very against robbing the dead.

SPEAKER_20:

Oh my, that might be my favorite part. It's like we have the guy who's just like walking by, he's like, oh, what's that shiny glinting object over there? The biggest engagement ring you've ever seen in your life. Yoink. I'm gonna take that. How many carrots was that fucking six?

SPEAKER_25:

He gets fucking pancaked. Yeah. Blood still.

SPEAKER_20:

He can't have greed. He's a greedy character. Stephen King's like, uh-uh-uh, you have greed. Now you're dead.

SPEAKER_25:

Needful is the line that I was just great line.

SPEAKER_17:

Adios motherfucker. And it's just one rocket could have taken out the electronic machine vehicle, uh, mechanized engineering optimus prime leader. That's all it took.

SPEAKER_25:

Good thing no big deal. Good thing no boats are electric. Question mark? They there's so many that are.

SPEAKER_20:

That sailboat has a motor. Yeah, and also it's convenient how I think he says, like, we're gonna go to this island. I think it's called Haven, and there's no technology allowed there whatsoever. It's like a decree of this island. No tech allowed whatsoever.

SPEAKER_17:

Fucking ponts daily on. But again, what are we talking about?

SPEAKER_25:

Missiles. These there's boats. Yes. And when they when they get on the when they get on the sailboat, and there he goes to untie it from the dock, he can't figure out the knot, so he cuts it. And I was like, You can't figure out a knot? How are you gonna run a sailboat?

SPEAKER_20:

He says he knows how to run boats earlier in the movie.

SPEAKER_25:

You have to know tie and untie a knot to run a boat.

SPEAKER_12:

What I do is I I just try to take my hat and I turn it around, and it's like a switch that goes on. And when the switch goes on, I feel like another person, I feel I don't know, I feel like a like a truck.

SPEAKER_17:

You give a shit about everybody immediately. They like everybody feels basically relatable, and you see how ruthless Dennis Hopper is fucking immediately. Like he staples that guy in the fucking head. Oh. He doesn't even think about it. It is rude. The edit is incredible. The editing in the elevator where the woman who doesn't want to get out, and the the last person who the dude tries to get her to get out, the guy who gives Bob a hard time and seems like kind of a shit, tries to be like valiant and get everybody off, and she won't move. And then he's finally like, fuck it.

SPEAKER_25:

I do love so again, I do love that they've just sent SWAT here and not engineers. You know, like the build the people who built the building, they bring in people that like had blueprint, like these guys show up.

SPEAKER_07:

I I gotta mention about the these SWAT guys. I was noticing their costumes and their outfits and these jacket things that they have, their earpieces with their little neck collars. Did you guys those first stood out to me so much because I'm like, what is this little neck collar? And they have it throughout the whole movie for the for these guys. And it's like their it's their like radio system, but it makes them look so cool.

SPEAKER_25:

They do look cool.

SPEAKER_07:

I'm like, but what is it for?

SPEAKER_17:

It's a it's a sparkle motion uh bone amplifier.

SPEAKER_25:

They're very effective. I just love that they're like, oh, we need to make sure we can strap something to this elevator so it doesn't fall. Should we talk to someone who knows more about this than we do? Nope.

SPEAKER_17:

No, let's go to the roof.

SPEAKER_25:

And we're just we're gonna go brain they use to wash windows.

SPEAKER_17:

I I do love when they show up though. When they show up, that car is flying. They introduced they introduced Jack as like this guy fucks immediately. Like he is super fucking reckless.

SPEAKER_07:

Yeah. I wrote this down. It's the tension between instinct and protocol. Yeah. So like what you should be doing in this moment versus Jack being like, Go outside, follow me to the roots.

SPEAKER_27:

Yeah, go.

SPEAKER_07:

We gotta we gotta save the L. Like, it's just this natural instinct in these moments.

SPEAKER_25:

Paul, I was thinking of Last Action Hero when that car comes. Like, because there's parts of this parts of this movie that feel like outlandish in the action in the way that it operates. And like again, they just shove a fucking cable through a vent and hook it to a conveniently fisheye size, like the the perfect size loop on the top of the elevator.

SPEAKER_17:

I I kind of miss some of these things in movies that are kind of like, hey, movie. Just let movie happen. We've talked about this a little bit.

SPEAKER_25:

Fall Guy had some good stuff.

SPEAKER_17:

Fall Guy had some of that, I agree. And I miss some of that where it's like just suspend disbelief a little bit, just like let yourself be entertained.

SPEAKER_04:

Uh I really don't have anything to offer you guys except for uh frozen pizza.

SPEAKER_17:

Let's go for it. I don't know. It it's just like you I want some like all truest act from this kids movie, which is silly, but that's what I want. And I also want this unsanitary fucking burger place to be shut the fuck down. Cease and desist your ingress. Shut it down.

SPEAKER_03:

Shut it down. It just feels like I mean this it this feels like it belongs in the same category as like like the bench warmers. You know what I mean? Like this is I've not seen it. That's okay. You're not you know.

SPEAKER_24:

Is that Napoleon dynamite? Heater, spade, and schneider.

SPEAKER_03:

Schneider.

SPEAKER_24:

Schneider Different Schneider.

SPEAKER_03:

Different Schneider. I got spare time. A kangaroo, a Joseph and Saco Bat! It it doesn't go into any lessons deeply enough to cause harm to any you know what I mean? Like it literally, I think it's it's like you could watch a blank wall and leave the same way you came in. You know what I mean?

SPEAKER_17:

I don't know, because this did damage to me, and if I had a child around me that decided to mimic it all the time, I would lose my fucking mind.

SPEAKER_25:

I think it's one of those things where it's I kind of wish I just left it in the annals of my childhood. Like I remember it fondly to a degree because I think I really conflated a lot with Kenan and Kell and all that.

SPEAKER_03:

Which was a fun show. I mean, Keenan Nikel was the fresh prince of Nickelodeon, you know what I mean? Like it I liked quite a lot.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah, and I liked all that too, even though I'm sure that probably doesn't hold up for the most part. And I think maybe most of Nickelodeon live action stuff probably doesn't hold up very well.

SPEAKER_17:

That may include Are You Afraid of the Dark, even? I I hate to say it, but it could be even if it goes that far.

SPEAKER_25:

I would agree. So I kind of just wish I hadn't watched it again, and I'm I kind of will hold this against you forever.

SPEAKER_03:

You know what? That's that's fair, fucking. Here's the thing though. I I think that it does make us realize that when we were kids, we all liked a cringy thing. We we've all been cringe in our colors. And c you know.

SPEAKER_25:

There were a lot of colors in the 90s.

SPEAKER_03:

There were a lot of I I feel I'm torn in two very distinct directions here because like on the one hand, yeah, I would trust the adults in my life and also the adults making stuff for me as a kid to like have somewhat to have my best interests, but in reality. In mistake, mistake. In reality, this was made because uh Keenan and Kel was popular, and then they went back through the catalog and went, what could we make into a movie that would like make us money? And then they like picked this sketch and they said, Okay, yeah, sure, we can like in two weeks spit out a script that we can make and like make money off of this. I get that. Like, that's fine. But also at the same time, like it's also okay. That we shouldn't be mad at ourselves as kids for buying into it and liking the silliness of it. You know what I mean? I watched plenty of like bad shit when I was a kid. I probably watch plenty of bad shit now. But it's you gotta watch both. You're not gonna recognize if anything's bad if you don't see anything good too.

SPEAKER_34:

No, look away! Megan, no, look away! What did we eat? Woo! Think Sagana, what are you doing? It's coming out of me like lava!

SPEAKER_11:

But that motherfucking 85-pound actor going, yeah.

SPEAKER_25:

Human beings. You do when you do the so when you do what we call in my family is the look back, because my brother would famously show us a movie that he's seen before, and then he would like wait for a moment and stare at us, and I would be like, you have to stop doing that. So, John O, you must be very skilled at doing the look back so that people don't rec realize that you're looking at them while they're watching the movie.

SPEAKER_11:

So I may not be skilled because I just went to the movie Weapons with a very dear friend of mine.

SPEAKER_25:

Uh huh.

SPEAKER_11:

I was warned this is a very scary movie, and my friend he had heard the pitch from four weapons from Zach Krager. He had helped develop the script for this movie. He had worked on this movie for years, he had gone to this the premiere of it, and now I get to go to AMC and Burbank with him, and he did the most obvious look back. I'm I'm like NFL Scouts would would call it a full 180. Like his shoulders fully looked behind him, squared up, looked all the way back. And when he did that, I just covered my eyes because I was like, oh, scary shit's about to happen. And that look back saved me. I love weapons because my lovely knuckle-headed friend had the worst look back game ever. And only in that moment did I realize I was like, every time I've watched seven, I've probably blown. I had no idea that it could be that obvious.

SPEAKER_17:

I want to say really quick weapons in competition with May December for greatest moment with hot dogs. And I love the hot dog callback to the whitest kids you know that that is. It's so fucking great. I was the the one wacko in the theater, like at that moment, and like literally everybody's like, what the fuck is and then you went hot seven hot dogs. I did a hot dog.

SPEAKER_19:

Open your open your open your mind.

SPEAKER_17:

Open your Ghostbusters pink ectoplasm or whatever. It looks pretty gross. It it holds up well.

SPEAKER_08:

Nasty.

SPEAKER_17:

And it is adorable when Carolyn wakes up and goes, Hi daddy. I love that.

SPEAKER_08:

Of course you do.

SPEAKER_17:

I loved that. What's wrong? I mean, that's the cheese, and it's just cheese this time. It's cheese, okay? I'll admit it. But I do like it. There's some level of kind of like, I'm okay, everything's okay. I assume that if you're the parents in that situation, that you're like, oh my god, do we need to go? Also, shouldn't the next scene have been at the hospital?

SPEAKER_08:

One would think, but again, these parents are not functioning at full mass.

SPEAKER_17:

Some four foot four lady that they've never met comes in, throws a ball at something, gets their kid back, and says, This house is clean. And they're like, Oh, okay, let's go to bed.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah. Sounds good.

SPEAKER_17:

So the next day they've gotten a moving truck. Finally, finally, and Joe Best.

SPEAKER_08:

The turnaround is so fast.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, he they got that moving truck the next day. Something like that. And Joe Best's hair has that streak of gray, like they kind of repeat in Nightmare on Elm Street with Heather Langenkamp. And her daughter's like, no, not good. Diet. And everyone's like a little too cozy, and the movie feels a little too cozy, a little too fast. And that's part of what you're talking about, like the predictability. Yeah. It's like, wait, we're still going.

SPEAKER_08:

Right. Because, dear listener, I feel like if they had just ended there, then the movie would have been a crazy adventure, but the end sad is a little bit more. They just date in the truck, it's over. Yeah, we're like, we're out. But no, nothing can be that easy.

SPEAKER_17:

Because even the dog is like, are you sure? Like they do a close-up of the dog's face as people are about to be attacked, and the dog's like, I don't know. It's like looking side to side and shit. And it's like, even the dog, come on, guys.

SPEAKER_08:

Even the dog.

SPEAKER_17:

I just feel like they really just wanted to be like, uh, hit hit the audience with the like, you you thought we weren't gonna use the clown, huh? We're gonna get you with that clown. And they do another thing from Nightmare in Elm Street, a spinning room, where Joe Beth Williams ends up on the ceiling, and that's a pretty good effect, I think. The spinning room effect always works. I think.

SPEAKER_08:

Yeah, I agree.

SPEAKER_17:

So you do feel feel like the effects mostly hold up well.

SPEAKER_08:

I mean, sure.

SPEAKER_17:

I think I've been making some headway here. It's gonna be exciting to find out.

SPEAKER_08:

Don't count your chickens before they hatch.

SPEAKER_01:

Stop eating my sesame cake.

SPEAKER_10:

Stop eating my sesame cake!

SPEAKER_13:

I gotta say, my favorite bit with Steve, which honestly felt like bad writing, but my little headcanon just had me laughing about it. He leaves them all trapped behind the door. And it's never explained why. It's not that he went off to do something evil. They find him, he's just flirting with the hot girl. That's all he was there was no weird, evil, Machiavellian thing going on. He's just a douchebag.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah, I do like that she gets that blast off ties Burrell's head. Like she we get that full circle.

SPEAKER_17:

A lot of the headshots in this movie, like the effect really works. It's man, I wish this movie could be made with a Resident Evil skin. Like it just gets that idea of being trapped in an area and a horde of zombies coming after you. Please, Zach Krager. We've talked about weapons on this, please, Zach Krager. So they they go to escape on the boat after the final attack, and Michael Weber, Mr. Weber, and they Jake Weber reveals I was bitten, I I can't go with you, it's not safe, and off-screen, he shoots himself.

SPEAKER_25:

I do like CJ uh getting his full take he sacrifices himself blowing up the bus with that giant propane in the I do too.

SPEAKER_13:

Well CJ I think has the biggest character arc of the whole film.

SPEAKER_25:

Him and Andre. Yep. I like the end of this movie too. I mean, I think that like it's fun that they think like they end it, and you're like, oh yeah, they got away on this boat. Using the found footage stuff is great of showing, like, first off, showing Tyberell just like still being a dick with his dick out.

SPEAKER_17:

The survivors of the Dixie boy are not survivors because not.

SPEAKER_25:

Everybody in this movie fucking dies, which I think I agree is a great it's not like maximum overdrive where it's like, yeah, they got on a boat and then I guess you'll you'll be fine.

SPEAKER_17:

No, a few days later, no problem.

SPEAKER_25:

They got on a boat and they got to whatever island and they're still fucked. Nope.

SPEAKER_17:

Similar to spoilers, the end of the mist can make this hard choice or a different hard choice, or whatever, just like make a hard choice. This movie makes a hard choice, it doesn't avoid it like maximum overdrive. I credit it for that.

SPEAKER_35:

Not once, not twice, about as many times as I part that he cut that he sent through was the first one she ate.

SPEAKER_25:

Like they based on the shape, yeah.

SPEAKER_15:

The way it was cut, I'm sure. So I just want to say real quick, this is one of the things where I'm just like, this lady is gonna stick this guy. Just turned a baboon inside out, and she's like, hey, you want some steaks? Wanna fuck?

SPEAKER_17:

Like, yeah, excuse me. This is the cost of science. Like, when he tell her off camera, like, yeah, this is how we do it.

SPEAKER_15:

This is what we do. Now get that shovel, help me take this outside.

SPEAKER_17:

I'm also testing some new lotion. Will you grab that new baboon? Fucking A man. I I do like that he says he wears the same clothes every day and he doesn't want to expend energy on worrying about that. And I I do like that she is kind of excited by his level of belief, I think, in what he's doing and how it seems like they're kind of inspiring each other. They're like working together, but like the context of it is fucking insane. I I will admit that.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah, no, 100%. I think it's just like that she gets hot and heavy with him fast, and everything goes. It's like when someone ignores all red flags.

SPEAKER_17:

He's very he's very vulnerable, like in a way that Stathis clearly isn't. I like that we're seeing the parallel between these two men that she's had romantic link with and why she must. This movie works in extremes. It really does almost all the time. I think everybody would agree with that. I hope. Yeah.

SPEAKER_25:

I like that she goes and just wants to buy him an Indiana Jones jacket. She's like, I like this guy. He needs an Indiana Jones jacket.

SPEAKER_17:

After he gets that chip in his back, which is clearly foreshadowing that in the end, this techna man in technology playing God is not gonna work out. It's gonna bite you.

SPEAKER_25:

Was that Johnny mnemonic? Oh man. Is that a thing? Hit me.

SPEAKER_17:

Dolph Lundren is the street preacher. But her ex is like stalking her at this at the store?

SPEAKER_25:

He's still so crazy.

SPEAKER_15:

No, no, no. In a particle license plate Maserati, he's got nothing's more sinister than the particle Maserati.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, he he nothing is more sinister than the particle Maserati. Is this guy a bigger asshole than William Atherton at this point? Uh William Atherton in real genius, anyway.

SPEAKER_15:

Also has a beard. Also, yeah, he's up there.

SPEAKER_02:

You're obsessed with her, and you're obsessed with her daughter! Right, easy Heroldo.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah, he calls everything out. What is wrong? Good scene, but when Hemsworth and his girlfriend are getting really horny, is he's like, I love beers and wet titties and whatever, and he's not being himself.

SPEAKER_25:

And I love that Franz Kranz does that. He's like, he's a sociology major. Yeah, he calls everything out.

SPEAKER_17:

What is wrong with everyone? When he has this theory that everyone's being puppeted, because the weed, and of course, I love this. The fact that he's a stoner makes him see things more so for what they are. That his mind is open to think of like, yeah, but what could this be this?

SPEAKER_25:

And Paul, not to yeah, he already thinks I feel like he already thinks the world's a conspiracy in some way. So go back to the he's one step ahead of them already.

SPEAKER_17:

Well, and they say in the in the movie, too, that his weed was helping him for certain. They mention it a couple different times. Hemsworth and the girlfriend are super horny, and they start getting after it after they go through the horror trope of, and this is the thing that is odd, is that she'll make out with a wolf or whatever, but they have to do the trope of like the girlfriend or whatever being resistant, but the pheromones come in and they end up doing it. There's a line here that I really like when we're back in the control room as they're doing it, where I don't remember who says it, but it's you know what's at stake here. Like you've been told what's at stake here. So that's the thing that is the mystery that is keeping me more interested, I think, than anything. Because I'm not super worried about any of the characters or what they're doing. There's a level of a voyeurism feel that I think you're right, I think is intentional, but it's like, yeah, the banality of like people betting on people dying and what the monsters will be, and so forth. And so I just feel like I'm going through the motions a little bit.

SPEAKER_25:

Sure. You know, you know these deaths are gonna start happening, right?

SPEAKER_17:

It breaks it up with cool, interesting stuff that is involved with the mystery that has me more so gripped. Sure. Which is like this we offer in humility and fear for the blessed peace of your eternal slumber as it ever was. And then they're kind of like all culty about it as it ever was.

SPEAKER_25:

Three different sides of a triangle here, right, Paul?

SPEAKER_35:

Always.

SPEAKER_25:

That's what's happening here.

SPEAKER_35:

Best I've ever tasted. Would you go get me two? Come on, partner.

unknown:

Two.

SPEAKER_21:

Thank you.

SPEAKER_28:

Utah! Give me two!

SPEAKER_22:

Tiskel and Ebert gave this movie two thumbs up. Has a rotten tomato score of critics is uh 42 and audience of 40. Whoa. It has a higher critic rating than audience rating.

SPEAKER_17:

And that's pretty this is a two thumbs up movie that equivalent today to today made half a billion dollars on 40 million, which also like this I couldn't imagine that I don't know. So many things about this movie are confounding.

SPEAKER_22:

And um yeah, Metacritic is um 50% with a 6.7 for users. So it's flip-flopped of I guess rotten tomatoes take themselves more seriously. They're very prestigious. We over here at Rotten. Yeah.

SPEAKER_17:

They are based in Denmark. Ow. You got something there.

SPEAKER_22:

Oh, well, fuck me, Rotten, and call me Denmark. Oh, I almost missed it.

SPEAKER_17:

I knew it was right there on the tip of your brain. See it. My name is Julius. I'm the twin brother. Where was it? Ah, yes.

SPEAKER_22:

Major award wins and nominations. Uh Golden Globes nomination for Best Original Song. Um, this is your nightbow.

SPEAKER_16:

It had to be that, right? Tonight is your nightbrook that's right. Tonight is your name.

SPEAKER_17:

It had to be that, because it also won the Grammy for Greatest Song Ever Made last year. Danny DeVito accepted on behalf of Danny DeVito.

SPEAKER_22:

Oh, he was inducted into the uh Rock and Roll Hall of Fame for that song.

SPEAKER_17:

It's actually just now called the Danny DeVito Tonight is your nightbro Hall of Fame.

SPEAKER_34:

Behold the ravages of age.

SPEAKER_25:

Well, I think it partially it's just an affront. Partially it's status. I think that there's like obviously they live in this basement thing. But I don't think I don't know if she's again, I don't know. She hasn't been with a woman before. Right.

SPEAKER_28:

She needs to be through Jim Malkovich.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_28:

Yeah. She can get two people looking at her at the same time. I love that line.

SPEAKER_17:

So it's a power that explanation is really cool.

SPEAKER_28:

Like she needs energy now, she can get double the energy. Energy vampire.

SPEAKER_17:

Energy just like back to what we do in the shadow.

SPEAKER_25:

Just like Paul.

SPEAKER_17:

He will be. I've been alive for a long, long year.

SPEAKER_25:

Can't you tell when Paul's around? You're just like suddenly you're just like, oh. I need to sit in a blank room with no sound post.

SPEAKER_22:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_28:

Enjoy the podcast. But that reminds me, Catherine says basically the only people that matter are people that take things in their own hands, that act on things. Correct. And then they told people that don't act. Fuck them. Yep. They don't matter. And then they both later at the same time.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah, and it is so awkward. And the This is where we start to transition. And I think this is where I see Cusack as the villain of the movie, which happens quick. In many ways he is quick. Yeah. Yeah. But his transition.

SPEAKER_17:

Oh, he is. Yeah. And not many ways, Rob. I I'm sorry. I will argue this. He is the villain. I'm not arguing. I thought you were about to say, in many ways, but also I was like, no, he's bad. No. He's a bad man.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah. I mean, you could argue that he has non-consensual sex with her.

SPEAKER_17:

Right. Don't think it's uh But it's through John Malkovich, though. So that's why she's consenting to the body, but not the soul. She's consenting to Lottie. Right. And that's and even calling out Lottie. When John Malkovich and fucking John Malkovich and confusing John Malkovich, also the cleaning, the dry cleaning bills, when Katherine Keener visits him at his apartment and waits for Lottie to see Lottie through his eyes. Yeah. Before she goes for it. And also just looking at John Malkovich, waiting.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah, her performance is also great. Like the I feel like all of them.

SPEAKER_17:

They're all really the four main. Yeah. I mean, also a bunch of the character actors are great too. The Doctor, the horny doctor. Moe Lester. Dr. Mo Lester, 105 years old. Stealing the vitality.

SPEAKER_25:

Hold on. Question though. Is there multiple people inside of Dr. Lester?

SPEAKER_28:

That's the I try not to think about this. I would say no, no. He he did say I figured out how to get more people in. Okay. He did say that in the movie. But that doesn't mean there aren't multiple people because this vessel could have been going for a long, long time. So it still could be nearly infinite amount of people that are in there.

SPEAKER_34:

If the limit never approaches anything, the limit does not exist.

SPEAKER_24:

The limit does not exist.

SPEAKER_17:

Jimmy's telling her, like, I'm the fucking guy now, so like, you know, we're everything's gonna be good. We're gonna be gangbusters here. I'm gonna take care of everybody. I'm a cool guy. And uh, she doesn't believe him, and a call comes through. And on official business, Jimmy Stewart's like, I'm the fucking guy, and she faints.

SPEAKER_38:

She can't believe that her bully at work is now her boss, and she just can't handle it. But his little voice, oh Clara.

SPEAKER_17:

Oh Clara. Well, and it's funny, you say bully. It's like to me, it's like a per is is he like a perceived bully or a bull? Like, I feel like they tete.

SPEAKER_38:

They both are on the wrong, they they both just weren't seeing each other for the long time. They weren't they weren't seeing each other, they weren't seeing each other for who they were. And so she was seeing him as a bully, and sh he was seeing her as uh irresponsible at work.

SPEAKER_17:

I love the way you said that because I really felt and I think I can articulate it now. You two clearly have defenses up or whatever, because you like each other, you're clearly compatible, and you just don't want it to be that for whatever reason, because he's just a clerk as she puts it a point as an insult to him. And she he calls her an old maid. But this is one of the moments that I really, really like when he goes to visit Clara because she's sick, she Fainted, she can't work, and she's distraught because she's her love is lost. She's not gonna meet this guy that has been writing the letters she believes. Yeah. Jimmy Stewart shows up to her bedside to make sure she's okay and that she's better and can come back to work, delivers a new letter.

SPEAKER_38:

Yeah.

SPEAKER_17:

About that boy I saw in the cafe when I walked by, because this is a part of the whole trick, is he's playing two parts. The unknown love interest and the actual known love interest that he actually is, and like he's selling himself through the letter.

SPEAKER_38:

Yeah, no, I love that. Well, because it's like suddenly he's decided, I think he's decided the moment he walked into the cafe and started fighting with her that he loves her. And he at this moment when he gets his aunt, the aunts come in with another letter from the mystery pen pal guy to her to her sick bed after she's fainted. And Jimmy's come in to check as a boss to make sure that she's okay. He is starting starting to orchestrate both to let her see him.

SPEAKER_17:

He's directing it, yeah.

SPEAKER_38:

And and also to kill me to put away the the fantasy of him.

SPEAKER_17:

He's trying to put out that flame, sorry.

SPEAKER_38:

So the pen pal guy has to become ruined and a bad person in her eyes, and she has to start seeing Jimmy for who he is, and he starts seeing her.

SPEAKER_34:

Nuke the whales? You don't really believe that, do you? I don't know. Gotta nuke something.

SPEAKER_25:

Taylor, would you like to tell us about your first experience with the movie A Christmas Story?

SPEAKER_29:

Okay, yeah. I've been watching it since I was a child. We play it on uh back to back on Christmas Eve at my father's house.

SPEAKER_17:

Back to back.

SPEAKER_29:

Back to back. Because it's on TV 24-7.

SPEAKER_17:

The TV as the superstation? Okay.

SPEAKER_29:

Yeah. Um, and and so I've been watching it for years. I don't even know when that started. So before before my memory kicked in.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah. Yeah. So was it a family heirloom like they watched it and they just passed it on to you? Yeah, tradition there. Yeah.

SPEAKER_29:

Absolutely. This was probably the first time I've actually sat down and watched it distraction-free.

SPEAKER_25:

Okay.

SPEAKER_29:

Yeah, there were a lot of things that I picked up that I didn't uh remember before. I'll also say I have a Christmas story leg lamp tattooed on my leg.

SPEAKER_21:

Wow.

SPEAKER_29:

With my sister. My sister has matching tattoos from it. Because it's this family heirloom, you know.

SPEAKER_17:

Yeah. Yeah. It's just, yeah. So it goes way back.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah. Great. Uh so out of five, uh, what is your uh I guess what would your like OG rating be? And also what is your current rating? You just watched this movie, out of five.

SPEAKER_29:

So I started at a three.

SPEAKER_25:

Okay.

SPEAKER_29:

And then I think I bumped it up to a four and a half.

SPEAKER_25:

Whoa. The moment I sat down, I thought I was like, our brains just exploded all over our heads.

SPEAKER_17:

I gotta say, the image of that leg lamp was so fucking iconic. It is like burned in my mind. Yes. And so I was a little surprised that you said three, but also like it makes sense just because of the family tradition piece, as well as the just like that image. It's a there's an alternative poster that's essentially just that lamp. Yeah, just the pervert lamp. Just the pervert lamp.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah, it's got a little, it's a little cheeky. There's a definite butt cheek. Yeah, there's a butt cheek there.

SPEAKER_29:

For sure. Yeah.

SPEAKER_17:

And fishnets? Actual fishnets, not like plastic molded, or like it had a fishnet on it. Yeah, it went full Rocky Horror. All the way Frank and Ferrero.

SPEAKER_29:

And like the the vintage yellow, and it's you know, just the perfect classy perverted lamp.

SPEAKER_17:

And the glow of it, it's got a really nice fucking hue. Yeah, it does.

SPEAKER_11:

It's not moving. There's nothing wrong with it. There are dozens of us. Dozens!

SPEAKER_17:

Leonardo and Swinter are great, they're pretty great leader. Is Cyclops a great leader? I think he is. In the comics.

SPEAKER_22:

In the movies. You could say he has uh an eye for it. He's really locked in there. Just laser beam focus.

SPEAKER_16:

I was so happy.

SPEAKER_17:

I was like, let him cook. Don't speak. I know just what you're thinking, but I won't. When Raphael lets out that fucking scream.

SPEAKER_21:

Oh, that's that's you talk about his like the name portrayed as shaky. Yeah. That spin around and that scream every time you feel it. You feel it. And it's truly upsetting.

SPEAKER_25:

There is no fact sheet for this. So, in lieu of that, we have the review, review, retro spectacus rewards. As I blow out the microphone. Maestro, if you please.

SPEAKER_19:

Favorite episode subtitle.

SPEAKER_17:

I'm going with being John Malkovich. He's 6'7, but actually, we have a tendency to jump on all of this lingo, things that are in the zeitgeist. And Ben and I and Rob and everyone's looking at each other through the recording, like daring each other to do it. And I guess it kind of hit like a some sort of a boiling point that I didn't even realize. I thought everybody was having fun, but apparently I just looked like I was ready to go off. Yeah, who knows? Six, seven times probably. All right.

SPEAKER_25:

Shall we? Okay. Favorite episode subtitle. I'm gonna say this like it's an award ceremony. Favorite episode subtitle. Oh man, they're all so good. Paul is just so funny. Gosh. Um, I didn't mean that sarcastically. Uh, I think I have to go with the Boondock Saints with Dom Deloise as the kid. Um, not I guess he plays the skateboard, but I want to see that movie as Dom Deloise as the kid.

SPEAKER_18:

Favorite needle drop sound effect. It's like asking me to pick a favorite child. I don't have any. Here's a couple mixed together.

SPEAKER_34:

Behold the ravages of age.

SPEAKER_25:

Oh, favorite needle. Oh, sorry, I did it wrong. Favorite needle drop slash sound effect. I bet Paul can guess what I'm gonna pick here, but my choice is. Oh. That is dangerous. Have you ever done anything dangerous? That is dangerous. Let me tell you Oh no. Too dangerous.

SPEAKER_19:

Cringe. Worthy favorite recurring joke.

SPEAKER_17:

If we're bringing it full circle all the way through episode dumb, Illuminati, I also like that. Is that is that a thing? Is that a thing? Seems to have become a thing. It is i it is a thing, which hey, wow, full circle again.

SPEAKER_25:

Favorite recurring joke. Um, I did it wrong again. Favorite recurring joke. Just as recurring, not recurring. So recurring joke. What's a recurring joke? Well, we'll find out. Um gosh, I I think I do like is that a thing? Is that a thing question? Uh, but I think it's our uh no cap six seven uh gen alpha slang that we just cannot break out of. And um, I promise you, I think we should leave that in 2025. I think it's time to move on. No cap.

SPEAKER_19:

Favorite program sponsor.

SPEAKER_17:

I I would like to make it clear that we love all of our sponsors, they're all wonderful, they all mean the same amount in the end. Uh Frenderware, the underwear sharing app, I think, is inspired. It's revolutionary. Something something to think about.

SPEAKER_25:

Yeah. Favorite sponsor or favorite advertisement if you are um from the other side of the sea, bonjour. Uh okay. I think my favorite sponsor is the Cubit? Was it called? Cubite? Cubite. Um, from Keiko Green's episode for uh Rocky Horror Picture Show. Uh Cubit, we back, baby. The uh making fun of small tiny uh videos, which we all watch now. We just watch them on TikTok or Instagram or literally anything, YouTube, um, blue sky. They all have freaking 15-second videos to steal your freaking attention and your life. Stop giving them your attention, stop giving them your life, put down the doom scrolling device and just go outside, touch some grass. Qubit. We back, baby. Oh, cubite. Not qubit. Qubit is like QBert, but his like stepbrother that no one talks about. We back, baby.

SPEAKER_17:

Favorite movie reviewed. I'm gonna give you two. One was like a beautiful gift, that is the Grand Budapest Hotel. Shouts to Sam for giving that 50 million bajillion, whatever his scoring system was. I agree with it. I had not watched a Wes Anderson that was new to me in quite a while, and that was such a wonderful thing. And the other one is I just had such a good time reviewing it and was so confounded by it, and it was so good to cope with someone, and that is the Boondock Saints.

SPEAKER_25:

Favorite movie reviewed. That's real hard. Um, because we got some good ones this year. I mean, we always do. I I think I have to go with Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. My birthday episode. I mean, it it it it's just it's a perfect movie. I mean, it's a perfect movie, and uh, I love the episode. Listen to that episode, Damien is great. Um, I I was close to choosing Grand Puta Best Hotel, I was also close to choosing uh uh Blazing Saddles, because of course Blazing Saddles. So dang, this is so close. All three are five stars, but I'm going with um Indiana Jones and The Last Crusade. Because I'm me.

SPEAKER_17:

Um not favorite movie reviewed. Good burger, shut it down. What you are doing is wrong, wrong, wrong, and the Boondock Saints. It there's no need for it. No thanks.

SPEAKER_25:

Uh not favorite movie. Yeah. I think the Boondock Saints is the one that I came around on um from the last time I saw it the most. Uh it's gotta be Boondock Saints. God, what a what a what uh interesting cultural um moment that we will never need to watch again. Shut it down.

SPEAKER_19:

Favorite film released in 2025.

SPEAKER_18:

I've got three I'm gonna hit you with really quick.

SPEAKER_17:

Court of Gold. It is a documentary series about the US Olympic men's basketball team from 2024. Black bag. It's just sexy, it's a great home viewing experience, which I think is so rare. I wish I had seen it in the theater, but wow, what an experience at home. And F1. What a fun experience in the theater. Favorite film of here we go.

SPEAKER_25:

Favorite film of 2025. Uh, I was actually just making my my 2025 year-end list, and I have not seen everything that I want to see yet from 2025. So this is um this is not uh perfected. Uh I I I'm gonna go with four selections uh because I'm me and I haven't been able to um really think through which one is my top yet. Uh for I think last year I had Conclave as my top, which it's it remains at the top of 2024. Um Train Dreams is certainly up there. Uh K-pop Demon Hunters, definitely up there. And this is where I start to uh flounder. Um I love sinners and I loved um uh one battle after another. So yeah, I uh Train Dreams though, I was the most surprising movie, I guess, for me, and so was K-pop Demon Hunters. So I think that's maybe why they're a top. Um I kind of expected to like the others, but those uh came out of nowhere for me and hit me like a mac truck.

SPEAKER_19:

Favorite physical media pickup of 2025.

SPEAKER_17:

It's no secret if you're a listener of this program regularly.

SPEAKER_18:

I am a fan of physical media. I have many pieces of physical media.

SPEAKER_17:

The Arrow 4K Teenage Mutant Ninja Turtles trilogy. If you're not familiar with what Arrow is, it's similar to Criterion or Aquino Lorber or Scream Factory in that it is like a boutique distributor that will get movies from big studios and get them back out into the world with better video, better audio, things for people to collect if that's your bag, special art, all that kinds of stuff. But the presentation of the first movie is stunning. And if you knew all that stuff I just went over, I'm sorry to waste your time, but hopefully this in the end was helpful. It is so crisp but gritty, and the audio is so immersive, and I've never had a better experience for a movie that is meant to be seen in the theater at home.

SPEAKER_25:

Fave pickup in 2025. Uh that for Paul that that means like what did I buy? Um I I'm broke. Uh I'm in grad school. I didn't buy any movies this year. Uh I was like, oh, what did I get? And I went to my library and I'm like, oh no, I didn't buy shit this year. Um I mean, I guess I think this might have been this year, it might have been last year, but I I did get like a 4K of Jurassic Park to watch on my uh 4K QLED television. And boy howdy, what a beautiful movie. So I that might have been a gift, actually. It might have been a birthday gift, but I'll go with the 4K Jurassic Park. Hold on to your butts.

SPEAKER_17:

What have we learned? I'm gonna cut right to the chase. People are horny. These PG movies that we have a tendency to do a good amount that are very family movies, are horny. I love a horny movie. I enjoy talking about a horny movie. We watch a lot of horny movies. Now, whether the guest feels that way coming in, knows that coming in, that's up for debate. But what's not up for debate is that we pretty much always end up on the horniness level of a film in the correct position, on top, or bottom, or behind sidewise legs. What you know, whatever's good. That's what we did.

SPEAKER_25:

What have we learned? Um what did we learn? I um we learned that uh friendship is rare. Do you know what I'm saying to you? Friendship is rare. Digeridoo. Boom boom lamp. It's a green lamp. It's on my desk. I do find it interesting, Paul, that we have not put on this list favorite episode, just in general, favorite episode. Um, so I'm just gonna say it. Favorite episode. Uh I loved the fly. I think all of our um, I think all of our episodes are are great, of course, but Chris Old's The Fly for uh uh Spooky Season, I just think is a a chef's kiss, if you will, of an episode that's really fun, uh, really funny. Chris is great, and also just so uh such a great movie to talk about at length. So that is my favorite episode of 2025.

SPEAKER_35:

Get off my plane.

SPEAKER_25:

Want to say thank you to everybody who came on the podcast. Let me say that. Let me say that more appropriately. I want to thank everyone who joined us on the podcast, on the program uh this last year. It was a blast uh to have you all. I consider each and every single one of our guests a friend after we get to spend that two plus hours chatting about a movie. It's it really is one of the um highlights of my year is to be able to share my love and my passion for storytelling with uh other passionate individuals. Um so I want to thank all of our guests, and I want to thank all of our listeners. Uh, I know that you know there is a lot out there pulling your attention. Um, the market is flooded with movie podcasts, but um, I think that what we do is special. And I'm I'm I I want to thank you for noticing that. And um, I appreciate every single person who takes the time out of their busy schedule to to listen to a couple of jackasses um talk about things that they love or hate. Uh so yes, my my 2026 uh uh goals um are gonna be to to keep this thing going, to keep uh our listeners happy, and to just keep uh creating um adding to the conversation uh instead of just being consumers of the conversation. So that's me, that's Ben. Thank you. Happy New Year, and um can't wait for 2026.

SPEAKER_06:

Well, this is me, Arnold Schwarzenegger, and this is me on a screen here, riding towards the camera.

SPEAKER_17:

Hey, it's Paul. I want to thank a lot of people that have been thanked and will continue to be thanked. Jamie Henwood, Matthew Foskett, Chris Olds, every single one of our guests. We love you. We want to have you back. We had the greatest time. Talking about movies, no matter where people's scores ended up, the conversation was always the the journey was always the destination is the point you see, if you want if you can hear and listen to you know. We had so much fun. Thank you, thank you, thank you for listening. And as promised, here are some of the potential changes you can look forward to this season. As we've been doing this podcast for a few years, we want to try to be a little bit more intentional with where we're going. So this episode, The Retrospecticus, you can look forward to wrapping up every year. You'll still get an episode every two weeks, episode every week during spooky season, couple you choose the reviews, maybe a debate debate, mostly what you've gotten on our main channel here. What we would like to put on our Buzz Sprout subscription in 2026 is our review reviewed debate debate episodes, our new review review reviewed. It's a three-person episode with a returning guests giving opposite or additional insight to something that we have watched previously that they were not concluded in. We want all concluded, included in. We want everybody's thoughts. Review review shelf help. It'll be a one to two person episode, 10 to 20 minutes, who's to say, about these boutique releases that we have collected through time or are collecting, have collected our thoughts on those things. Our new new episodes will be moving to a subscription-based access type of dealy. So when we go and see a new movie that has just been released and we decide we're going to talk about that, we are going to have those on that feed. Our birthday bash episodes, those extra episodes that happen for Ben's birthday or my birthday, those will be moving to the subscription. Our holiday helpings that are kind of those extra episodes that pop in a little bit suddenly, you don't expect as an extra piece of content. Our you choose the review episodes beyond that first episode or two that we see in the year. And, you know, we call one the debate debate, but we can also have the review review combat zone as pitched to us by our guest, Rachel Foskett. It's two people with guaranteed opposing views. So we'll have a lot of thrusts and parries and hoisted by own petards and things of that nature is the intention. Thanks so much for sticking with us through these few seasons. I know it's been a wild ride. Producing and editing this thing has been a wild ride. We appreciate your time so much, especially our big contingent of international listeners and Frankfurt and all over the place. I can't call everybody out. I've already set a precedent here. So either way, happy, happy, happy new year. Thanks for sticking with us, and we hope to bring you some exciting changes in 2026. Broom vroom. Oh, and Ben, if you're listening, and I hope you're not, what a great time this is making this whole thing with you, buddy. Love ya. You made it through Gremlins 2. You did it. You're still here. We're still rolling. Thanks for making the time and doing this thing with me. Bye.

SPEAKER_00:

Hi everyone, this is JJ, the co-founder of Good Pods. If you haven't heard of it yet, Good Pods is like Goodreads or Instagram. But for podcasts, it's new, it's social, it's different, and it's growing really fast. There are more than two million podcasts, and we know that it is impossible to figure out what to listen to. On Good Pods, you follow your friends and podcasters to see what they like. That is the number one way to discover new shows and episodes. You can find Good Pods on the web or download the app. Happy listening.

Podcasts we love

Check out these other fine podcasts recommended by us, not an algorithm.

With Gourley And Rust Artwork

With Gourley And Rust

Matt Gourley and Paul Rust
How Did This Get Made? Artwork

How Did This Get Made?

Earwolf and Paul Scheer, June Diane Raphael, Jason Mantzoukas
Blank Check with Griffin & David Artwork

Blank Check with Griffin & David

Blank Check Productions
The Rewatchables Artwork

The Rewatchables

The Ringer
Films To Be Buried With with Brett Goldstein Artwork

Films To Be Buried With with Brett Goldstein

Brett Goldstein | Daylight Media
ActionBoyz Artwork

ActionBoyz

Jon Gabrus, Ben Rodgers and Ryan Stanger
Scriptnotes Podcast Artwork

Scriptnotes Podcast

John August and Craig Mazin
Unspooled Artwork

Unspooled

Paul Scheer & Amy Nicholson | Realm
Back To The Blockbuster Artwork

Back To The Blockbuster

Back To The Blockbuster
The Yada Yada Podcast Artwork

The Yada Yada Podcast

Eric Driscoll and Celina Stillman