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Welcome to Detoxing from The Matrix Podcast, formerly known as Soulbriety, where we talk all things awakening, ascension, consciousness, and the recovery of self, soul, and spirit from being strung out on the greatest drug of all the external matrix. This podcast is a place for illuminating conversations that will take you from divided to divine, into purpose and suffering to sovereignty, while we detox the fuck out of your mind, body, and soul from all those limited programs of separation, struggle, scarcity, and pain. I'm your host, Lindsay Carricarte, and this podcast is for all the rebel souls who seek to live deeply, authentically, and fully expressed as the divine badasses you are. 1s Note this episode was originally recorded when it was Sobriety Podcast and has been added here to Detoxing from The Matrix. Due to copyright issues on the name Sobriety, I have no affiliation with the trademark Sobriety brand or method. 2s Hello. Hello, divine badasses. It's Lindsay here, spiritual practitioner and coach, teacher, seeker, and author. And on today's divine download of Soul variety, I am so excited because I have my dear, dear, dear friend in spiritual practitioner work, soul recovery work. We are talking to the amazing Katie Ramirez, who is an American artist. She is a yoga instructor. She is a new thought spiritual practitioner and recovery expert. Katy assists others in finding the magical connection that lives within each and every one of your souls. And I am so excited to have her on here for this illuminating, expansive conversation on all things recovery, self recovery, soul recovery artistry, the artistry of life, what we feed our heads and just all of the amazing conversations that we have here on Soulbriety. Anyway, we're going to expand them out even further with our very first guest expert here, Katie. Hi, Katie. I'm so excited to be here with you. 2s Yes. Do you want to take a second and just introduce yourself to everyone? Give us a little insight into what brought you here to this moment, where we are just on this path together, celebrating all of these amazing things we're doing. Yeah. Well, thank you. Thank you so much for having me on your podcast. I'm loving it. 1s It's so good. The conversation, it's just so needed. I am just so honored to be a part of it, to be completely honest with you. 2s Just to qualify myself. 2s I live I'm a resident of Brooklyn, New York, and I am originally from Chicago. And my career as a makeup artist in the performance industry is what brought me to New York. And one of the things that happened when I got here. 1s I had started the journey prior to coming out here, but I really gave up my battle with drugs and alcohol here. I got sober here. New York was my town. That helped me let go of the BS. The belief systems for sure started shifting, but my actual bullshit started shifting and I couldn't. New York is a sink or swim kind of place and I was starting to sink and I basically had no other option. But I had to get sober. I had to get clean and sober. So 1s I started that journey. I just realized this the other day. About eight years ago 2s I had a little relapse and stuff in there for me. I think it's very uncommon for someone to decide they're going to quit drinking or doing drugs and then just let it all go. 5s I went back, in those words of Twelve Step, I went back to do my research and see if I could really if I really needed to let it all go. And my body was like, hell yes, Queen, you really need to let this go. 1s Right on. 4s Throughout the years 1s I've been on the journey and I've got really committed to it. And 1s one of the blessings that happened with 2s the COVID crisis was that 1s as a makeup artist, I kept witnessing this disconnect in people. I kept trying to connect with people. I would ask people how they were doing. I would ask people what was up with them in their life and they would tell me about their kids or they would tell me about their partner. They wouldn't connect with me. And I was like, what is this? And then I am also in Nightlife and I would be in Nightlife and I would be trying and to connect with people and it would be like almost the same thing. And I was like, what is this? That people are like this disconnection. 1s Wow. 1s And when I was young, I had studied body work and breathwork, and I would always bring breathwork into my skills as a makeup artist. And I felt like there was this missing link in my life. And so in the COVID time when my career as a makeup artist and in performance completely disappeared because it was nonexistent at all in New York, I got recommitted to wellness and got recertified to teach yoga, and in that, I found so many people were having these traumatic outbursts, and I was on a screen. And so from there, that's how I met you, Lindsay. I got committed to learning how to work through trauma with people. And that's been my whole journey 1s in 3s studying with a new thought global, 3s get my practitioner license and create the whole new thought recovery program within that whole organization. 2s So beautiful. I love the way that we've come together within our studies. And it's so funny because, Katie, you're one of those people that just I've talked about this in some of my other episodes, how I have just been always so I was one of those people, right, so removed from other people. Like, I'm there, but I'm not there. And you're just one of those people that when I met you, I'm like, oh, yes, we're going to be friends. We're going to be friends. There was just that immediate connection. So I love that you brought up connection in that because I would love to invite you to kind of just share a little bit about your experience with, especially being a performer and an artist and all of the things that you do. So if you guys don't know, Katie is also a brilliant performer. She does brilliant sword swallowing and all of this very amazing performance art, right? So she really, truly is this artist through and through. And I really want to bring together the artistry and the connection and the expression and that piece around how trauma really does. 1s Push us into that place of disconnect where we have to feel like we have to hide right. Those beautiful aspects of ourselves that really make us unique. So I would love to just hear a little bit about your story and your experience in the worlds that you're in, about how you have seen that play out and what it is inside of you that really was like, yes, this is what I want to bring to the world. Like, I want to address this disconnection of the self from the self. Right. It's, like, really assisting people to bring their own magic back and get into that connection. Yeah, absolutely. I think the biggest thing that I've learned on this journey from letting go of drugs and alcohol, which I have to tell you, for me, my relationship with drugs, specifically prescriptions, prescription medication, all that stuff, 1s it was like my lover, literally. It was always there for me. When I was lonely, when I was seeking love, it was there for me. I struggled with depression from childhood, and so it was always there for me. It was like my baby blanket and was, like, ready to fight you to take it away from me. Like, so many people tried to talk to me about my quote unquote problem, and I would literally argue with people. I would get into arguments with people. 1s That was like, how dare you tell me and tell me, like, when you're doing it was always like the blame game. When people were just trying to help me, that's, like, how clouded my veil was in seeing when people were trying to help me. I was taking it like I was inverting it. I was like, you're hurting me by telling me the truth. 1s And as we know, the truth will set you free. And I just always morphed it and shifted it. 2s So my truth was 1s always kind of being a chameleon and being who you wanted me to be. Who do you want me to be? Because I will figure it out. And then I'll be her. I'll be that. I'll be it. 3s What started happening, I grew up. I didn't know it was, like, the fish and water. I didn't know I was an artist. I just always loved making art. I always loved making music as a kid. And when I found the stage in performance, it was like I could express myself. And so the artwork that I was creating was like some of it was beautiful, and some of it was really painful. And as I started studying, working in performance, I was introduced to makeup artists, and I wanted to be that. 1s What's funny is that I studied trauma work when I was young, but I was not ready for it at all in any way, shape or form. 3s When I found makeup, I was like, oh, my God, this is it. And I just ran with it. And then I started expressing myself through the medium of makeup and performance. And I would have these heart wrenching, blood gushing, sort of 2s traumatic sort of expressions in art, if you will. 1s And it was almost like I needed you to see my wounds. 4s And then what happened was with the makeup industry, because I always worked in bars. And so when I realized that I could make makeup a career, I realized I had to get sober. I started losing things. Like, opportunities came and I started losing them because I was, like, hungover sick in the bathroom, not showing up, showing up 3 hours late. Like, just crazyness. Like, absolute absurd, singular. I'm a solo. I always believed I was the solo entity of a person. 7s I had to get sober if I wanted to continue. 4s I tried to do the thing where. 1s I got a short ago in a meetings. And 1s it's like, no matter what, it's life changing when you go from like drinking and doing drugs to not like that right there is totally life changing. So then I was like, I'm going to wear these blazers 2s in my makeup job. Like, I'm going to wear these black blazers and I'm going to appear this certain way. It was like, like, I'm going to appear like I have it all together. And really, my house of cards fell when I moved to New York. That's what happened. Straight up. Like, the house of cards fell. And I no longer could act as if I had it all together. I still had all the jobs, I was still working for all the people, but I had overspended and not thought about me and my future. And it came to like 2s a gushing head into the wall kind of moment. And 1s I was faced with another it was another wall of fire. I love that you said the house of cards, right? And there's two things that you said. I mean, you said a lot in there, right? And it's such a beautiful transformation and me knowing that I've watched so much of your transformation first hand, especially just in the spiritual and the consciousness kind of side of this conversation. And it's been so amazing to watch. But I love that you set the house of cards, because I feel like, truly, no matter what it is, if we are dragged out, done the full spectrum of the drug addict like I was like you are or we are the person who's just the high functioning alcoholic or the high functioning codependent who out in the world, right. Everybody seems like they have it all together, but then behind the scenes, there is this life that is like hanging on by a thread that takes one thing and it all comes crashing down. And I feel like that's so connected to the disconnection and the trauma, which then leads me to the other thing you said where you said I needed people to see my wounds. And I would love for the point of the transformation of it all for you to tell me, how does that feel for you now with all of the consciousness work and the spiritual recovery work and your practitioner work? And new thought studies and yoga and all of the things that you do feed your head, which we're going to be talking about, being really conscious about what you feed your head, basically. Right? But how has that changed what it is you now are looking for people to see in you, right? So if you've gone from that expression of needing people to see your wounds because you were so identified with those wounds, what is it now that you're expressing to the world and from what place. 1s I think the biggest thing for me today in first doing the work, in first letting go of drugs and alcohol and then letting go of my trauma is like my message in all of it is that recovery is possible and that 2s it's available for you when you're ready, that you can have it too. That you too can have it. And I kept for the longest time in my life, I always said, oh, that's for everyone else, but I'm going to be over here. That's for everyone else, but I'm going to be right here. And for me, I think my biggest thing 1s again, 2s with connection, the opposite of connection is isolation. And if you've ever been strung out on anything, you know you're fucking alone. 2s I don't think you can be any more alone than when you're strung the fuck out. Maybe homeless. I mean, I've gone through everything. I've gone through so many levels of it all. The world just kept saying, well, you want to keep going. You want to keep going. And so now, for me, I'm in the place of, like, I want to play the fucking game. I'm ready to step up and be a part of something, because I know what isolation looks like, what it feels like. And just to have someone like even you, Lindsay, I love you. 1s To know that I have people all over the world that love me and really know me is priceless. 2s Here's, here's what's up. Here is what had to happen. I had to let go of my own. 2s I had to let go of my own story. I had to change. Which means I had to stop doing drugs. 2s That's it. But the other side of change, it's like what's on the other side of fear? Like your wildest dreams could be there, right? But we're so stuck in the what ifs 4s all then and straight up. Like I did that through twelve stop. That was like how I could commit to it. I needed to count a day, say this is my day, this is my day. This is my day. Right? Get up to like X amount of days. And then the biggest thing, I thought that when I came into studying trauma work that I had done a ton of work because I never palpated any of those memories. So what happened was then I started doing my trauma work. And then what happens when I do my trauma work is I see what my limited story is. What the story is that I said, this is the reason why I'm so fucked up. This is why. 2s And I had it all. I was like X marks the spot, baby. I was like proud, literally. And I would say things but you don't understand. No. And the reality is like Lindsay, you do understand. We do understand. The world does understand. And the understanding comes when you get to understand that you get to let go of that story. That's like drop. There it is. 3s So what happened was that I did the trauma work and then what happened was I saw the limited story and then I started letting go of I'm not worthy, I'm not enough. And worthiness is a huge thing for me. And powerlessness is a huge thing for me. I really thought I was powerless and I really thought I was worthless. I really thought that I didn't deserve more. 1s Than, like, pennies. I really thought that I didn't deserve more than the basics in life. And that had to shift. And that could only be done guided by someone else because I didn't have the power then. I really needed someone to help me. And when I started bringing that shift, the opposite of what I was saying. I am enough. I love myself. I had to get so, so basic. Basic in all of it. And that sounds basic, but it's not basic when you've told yourself, I fucking hate you. I don't like your body. 1s When I stood in the mirror, I would cry. I've gone through it all from, like, body dysmorphia, eating disorders. I had miscarriages, I've gone through drug addiction, I've gone through being homeless. I've gone through relationships. And this basic, basic thing in all of it, even, like, parental stuff, I kept handing my power. This is why. This is the story of why 1s for me, I had to slowly, slowly, slowly with my nails on a chalkboard clawing, like, take it back. 1s Take back what I said about me and say, Katie, I love you. I love you as you are. You are perfect. You are enough. And you deserve one of the biggest things, is you deserve a healthy meal. You deserve a proper meal, like one of these basic, basic, basic things. So in all of it, I think I was always seeking 1s I was always seeking the creativity and the beauty that I was in the world. Because in beauty, in the beauty world, in the artistry world, in the art world, you're in imagination land. Like, straight up, I'm helping you get to 1s the show, really. And for me, that's been my mission now, working with people one on one. And even as a creative, as I step into my creativity as a spiritual practitioner and a spiritual psychology coach, yoga instructor, and this person in the world, because I bring this with me in my performance, like, I am a spiritual performer, and I don't separate myself. I kept compartmentalizing myself. And I would show you what you needed to see of me. I would show you again the chameleon. And I stopped. I had to let go of the layers. And that's really what happened over the past, like, year and a half that I've known you, Lindsay, was that I stopped compartmentalizing myself. That's huge. Like, I was like, okay, the yoga instructor lives here, and the artist lives here, and the performer lives here. And what happened within that tremble work. I started slicing and dicing that bullshit of a story and was like, I get to be Katie Ramirez. Like, holy shit. Yes, 2s I am into that, right? Because you all know on this show we talk a lot about consciousness and from going from divided to divine. And that's exactly what I just heard in your whole story, Katie. Right. It's like all of the division that we put ourselves in, we lock ourselves up, we hide behind the walls of this story and this judgment and this self flothing and this self hatred, and we get so locked up and distorted in that. And when we start to heal, which is exactly like you said, right? First thing is putting down the things that we're reaching for. Whether it's the substance, whether it's the drama, whether it's behavior, whether it's a person, whatever that thing is we are using to try to distract us from all of that self division within then we can start to move into that place of exactly like you said, addressing the trauma, addressing what we built those walls out of, which usually is trauma. It's those limited beliefs, it's those limited stories. And that's the place where our consciousness gets to start to come back into expansion and oneness and worthiness. I love that you said the unworthiness and the powerlessness, because it's true. So many of us struggle with that until we get to the place where we start to do our healing work and we start to expand our consciousness and we begin to recognize that, no, I've been telling myself this bullshit story for long enough. And now it's time for me to remember and reawaken and fan the flames of yes, my worthiness. My power. My worthiness of having all of the things in full, full abundance and expression. And I mean, that's just the perfect kind of segue into talking a little bit here about your amazing book that is about to launch on Tuesday, feed Your Head, a nonsensical sensible life story, which to me sums up my whole life, right? Because my whole life was crazy and it felt like nonsense and I felt like I couldn't control it. And through my own healing, I've come to see the perfection and the humor in that and also just how important it is, what we are feeding Your Head. So, Katie, I would love for you to give everybody just a little share on what Feed Your Head is all about. What brought it to form and what you want it to bring to the world. 1s Absolutely. So thank you so much. I'm so excited about this. For me. It's a project, right? It's like an art. As an Artist, this is A project, and it's intended to serve. It's intended to serve you. I had a really clear understanding as I'm getting ready to launch this thing, that this has nothing to do with me. And I think that's the best part. When we look at referrals recovery, 3s all I can do is hold you up with my story and where I'm at. And it's important to talk about the things like relapse. And I hate the word relapse altogether. I think it's really unnecessary. You're just being a human. If you quit doing drugs and then you started drinking or whatever it is, or you went back to the relationship or you overspent or whatever it is, you're just being a human. 2s Calling it relapse is like, to me, intense. And so I think for me, Feed Your Head a Nonsensical Sensible Life Story 1s is really dedicated to anyone who has ever felt uncomfortable in their own skin. And it's intended for you to find inner peace through healing and knowing. And the thing with trauma trauma is that trauma can be. 2s Straight up, you were abused. Like, maybe you've gone through like someone has passed on. Maybe you've gone through war, or maybe you were at the playground and people were making fun of your body or you were tripped or something more happened. 1s For me, 1s I wanted to break this down at a really cheap child level for people to kind of see what was going on with this. So this is a very animated story of a little girl named Jax and her little dog, Lily Taylor, 2s and she really doesn't like herself. 4s What happens is her little dog sees this beautiful lilac bunny rabbit, little lilac bunny, and goes chasing after it. And she goes and flows and falls into this underground garden where all the creatures and the gay gunkles of the garden kind of bring her back home to herself. And so I do have to clarify that this is a rewritten fairy tale, and it's rewritten in the aspect of being informed around trauma and bringing this story to you because so many people don't know why they feel a certain way. And a lot of times in the trauma work world, we talk about, oh, you're like it's the fish in water. The fish doesn't know they're in water. A lot of people don't know why they feel bad. They don't know that they have absorbed the things that other people said or the belief systems that they've created, that I'm only going to feel better if I take these pills this morning. I'm not talking about prescriptions. I'm talking about other stuff, because we all have different kinds of addictions, right? It's in the name. Feed your head. What are you feeding your head? And I know for me, as a person who has recovered, I used to feed my head. Bullshit. I used to feed my head. I would be chasing people. I would be chasing jobs. I would be chasing jobs for, like, no money, too. On top of it, 2s I would be keeping people in my life that were harming me mentally or emotionally by either their negative vibe or something. So it's around, like, acknowledging the company that we keep because we become the company that we keep. And through it, what's really cute is like, so then all the gay uncles kind of come into her life, and they kind of check her. They see she doesn't like herself. And so they're like, girl, you have this superpower. They don't say it like that. And it's really written very, very childlike like, and it's intended to be childlike. 2s But 1s they let her know that she has these superpowers that are her individuality 2s and her creativity is one of her superpowers. And then she meets someone else and they give her this they sing her this song, and it becomes this woman. She's never experienced that before, where people she recognizes eyes as her people for the first time ever in her life. And I think we all have had that when we recognize how we met each other, lindsay we're like, oh, I'm going to love you. And it takes time to feel and find those people. 4s It's intended as a tool, and it's intended as a book for you to be able to use. There's some work pages at the end of it. And on top of it, I also created a 30 day soul recovery program that kind of goes hand in hand. And what the 30 day soul recovery is. I recorded 30 days of spiritual mind treatment, and I'm giving away eleven of them for free. With the launch of the book. You can just go over to my website and get them. They're actually available right now, 1s which I will tell you guys where in a second. But it's. But those eleven days, like so we've all I'm sure we've all had like those Foxhole Prayers. Like those prayers where we're like, 2s you think of hangover away, I'll never do it again. Or like whatever you're here 1s we have like those Foxhole Prayers. And so this is a mind treatment. So it's different and it brings you back home to yourself. And my intention in creating it because I didn't know how to like, pray and reshift my mind. So what it is 1s there are spiritual mind treatments which are old tool, but it's new for anyone who's never done it before. It's changed. 2s So they're there for you as a tool to come back to, to either start your day or to reset your day. And 2s they're action based. 3s The intentions are the action. So maybe the action is action, maybe the intention is power and you'll feel empowered afterwards. But they all have music that I created along with it. And it's almost like a meditation, but it's a mind treatment, so it's intended for you to come back home to yourself. And that all comes out together, um, on April 12 next I mean, in a couple days here. So exciting. Like, I'm so, so, so excited. I'm excited for feature ahead of excited for the book. I've I've heard some of the spiritual mind treatments and they're brilliant and I just love so. To clarify for everybody? Yes. Like when the book comes out on Tuesday, if you are interested in Feed Your Head, a nonsensical sensible life story that will be available on Amazon and through Katie's website and all of those links will be here below the podcast. I'll add those in on Tuesday when they are live. But you can also go now and begin to check out eleven days of that 30 day spiritual mind treatment program that Katie is sharing as a gift as an introduction to this beautiful experience of getting. And a lot of you are familiar with spiritual mind treatments. We've done them here on this podcast. So if you want a new Katie's expression of spiritual mind treatment, which is, I will promise you, way more artistic than mine because she's just such a beautiful artist, I love what she does. You can check out the link to find those as well and begin to experience what that feels like to start getting out of your own way and learning and receiving how to pray affirmatively to really come back home to yourselves. And I just want to say, for the whimsy of Feed Your Head, the book, the nonsensical physical life story, just what dropped in when you were talking about it, Katie, was how much some of the stories we grew up on actually traumatized us. Like, you all can all remember the think about how many things that we watched and read traumatizing, right? It was just like a different vibe, what kids were being allowed to watch and received back then. And I just love this because this is like a new take and it's like a way for us. I like that you've taken the whimsy childlike fairy tale approach because I just feel like we've received so much through stories. So Feed your Head is going to be amazing. You guys can check it out, get your copies on Tuesday. And so, Katie, I really just want to thank you for coming on with me today, for sharing your heart, for sharing some of your story, because I know that people are going to just resonate with it. I know that you have such a powerful message and mission and brilliance to share with the world. And so, Katie, for anybody who wants to learn more about what you do or connect with you, where are the best places? I mean, I know you're pretty active on Instagram, but where else are the best places for people to come and be in your energy and be in your content and learn more about what you do? Yeah, absolutely. Well, you can pop over to my website, shraddha S-H-R-A-D-D-H-A shraddha yoga Beauty and you can find all my links. I have PDFs that I've created on like the start of sobriety. 2s It's a sobriety guide. I can't promise it will get you sober, but it's content that I created for someone who's just kind of interested in dabbling because there really isn't information out there other than links for recovery links, which is scary. So I put together a PDF that it's a sobriety guide. I also have a meditation guide and it's a guide for learning how to shift the way that you communicate to yourself. So that's available there. And then again, I just created these eleven Days of the Soul recovery guide and that is on the tab on my website that's. 2s Free trial if feed your head. So that's probably the best way to like kind of pelpate through my content. And you can connect with me there just through the contact, very simply. And then you can also go over to my Instagram page which will drop in the notes below. And I love to communicate. I'm always on there, I'm always chatting it up about different topics. So those are probably like the easiest ways to communicate with me. Drop into my inbox, read my past content and really just connect with me there. And I'm always available early on. Yes, and you guys will include all of those links too, here below this episode, so you can find Katie easily. I know you will love her and love her expression and just she inspires me every day. You guys, this is the person in our last episode, the artistry of addiction that I was referring to. It was one of our random conversations through text that actually inspired that whole episode. So then of course, I knew I needed to follow that up with having Katie on the show so you guys could get to know her too, because she is just so much magic. So, in closing, Katie, and sorry if this one puts you on the spot, but I would love to have you if you could give the listeners of soul variety, if you could give the seekers and these beautiful souls who listen to this show, who I know have had their own struggles and are at different variations of their own journey, if you could give them one message in a sentence, one thing that you want the world to know for wherever they are at, right here, right now, what would that be? That you deserve to love yourself. 1s You really do. I know RuPaul has their saying 2s and I don't want to jumble it up. It's like, if you don't love yourself, how are you going to love anyone else? Yeah, 1s you deserve to love yourself. You deserve to show up for yourself. I live here in New York, so you deserve to run to yourself. The way you run to the train, the way you run to your partner, the way you run to your job. You deserve to run to yourself. You deserve that. And you deserve to be creative and expansive and express like you deserve it. You deserve every, everything. 2s So powerful. Thank you. Thank you. I feel like that was the perfect closing prayer for this episode. So, so beautiful. Thank each and every one of you, as always, for listening. Katie, thank you. Thank you. Thank you again for your time, your wisdom, your brilliance, your artistry and your energy for joining us on this show. I just love you so much. Love you. 2s Hey, divine badass. Thanks again for tuning in and being here on Detoxing from The Matrix, where we talk all things awakening, ascension, consciousness, and the recovery of self, soul and spirit from being strung out on the greatest drug of all, the external Matrix. If you know someone who would benefit from our illuminating conversations, please don't hesitate to share this podcast with a friend. And if you loved this episode or the podcast as a whole, don't forget to leave a review. It really helps spread the message and expand the collective. Don't hesitate to connect with me over on The Socials. You can find me all over the place at I am Lins Karakardi. I've really been having a blast over on TikTok with some great content and conversations. You can also find me on IG or in my Facebook community, The MoneyMatrix Talks. Be sure to check out the links below in the description for all the connections on social media, other ways we can connect, some free gifts and resources that will support your own awakening ascension, as well as ways that we can work together.