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Welcome to Detoxing from The Matrix Podcast, formerly known as Soulbriety, where we talk all things awakening, ascension, consciousness, and the recovery of self, soul, and spirit from being strung out on the greatest drug of all the external matrix. This podcast is a place for illuminating conversations that will take you from divided to divine, into purpose and suffering to sovereignty, while we detox the fuck out of your mind, body, and soul from all those limited programs of separation, struggle, scarcity, and pain. I'm your host, Lindsey Carracardi, and this podcast is for all the rebel souls who seek to live deeply, authentically, and fully expressed as the divine badasses you are. 1s Note this episode was originally recorded when it was Sobriety Podcast and has been added here to Detoxing from The Matrix. Due to copyright issues on the name Sobriety, I have no affiliation with the trademark Sobriety brand or method. 2s Hello. Hello, divine badasses. Welcome, welcome once again. It is Lindsay here, spiritual practitioner and coach, new thought minister in training on my road to doctor of Divinity. I am a teacher, a seeker, and twice published author. And welcome to another divine download of Sobriety podcast, where on today's episode we're talking about pain. Today we are going into the full spectrum and the dark side of the moon, if you will. We're going into the conversation about pain because how can we have an entire podcast connected to talking about, illuminating and expanding our perspective on all things addiction and awakening and spiritual recovery and soul recovery and self recovery and not acknowledge the role and really look at the role of pain that it plays in all of these things? So if you would join me today, I just invite you. Let us begin with a little prayer, a little mind treatment, a little invocation to really just set the intention and the energy of this conversation today because it's so near and dear to my heart and is just what is wanting to come through in consciousness for this episode. So let's just take a deep breath in together, breathing in, filling up the lungs, letting go. 2s And allowing yourself to just be here now. And in this moment, I just recognize and I honor all of it. I recognize the pure perfection of the pain, the pure perfection of the ease. I recognize the expansion, the growth, the livingness, the sensation. I recognize that the pain and the joy is all divine. It is all divine. I recognize nice that pain is just as divine as joy and happiness and love. It is all part of this experience that we are here creating. And I recognize it for what it is, a sensation and experience. And in this knowing, I recognize and I know that it is all part of the one thing. It is all part of the divine mind. The pain and the joy, the ease and the grace, the struggle, the disease and the health, the scarcity and the abundance, it is all divine. It is all part of the one and it is all valid. It is all real and it is all perfect, whole and complete, and part of this beautiful experience that we are here having. And in this knowing, I just recognize each and every one of you as powerful, amazing expressions of the divine, powerful creators, powerful healers, teachers of your own rights, just knowing fully that each and every one of you is perfectly on your path. And I am declaring right here, right now, that you are in the full knowing. No matter where you're at on your journey, in the full knowing, the awakening of your power, your truth, your light, as a divine spiritual being, as an expression of the one mind. I declare that you know right here, right now, you are healthy, you are healed, you are perfect. You are whole, you are complete. You are not this body. You are not this life. And you're, you are not this experience. You are the director, the creator of this experience. And I release these words up just in so much gratitude, loving all of you, welcoming you to this show, declaring, I know my word is law, and so it is. 1s And so let's have this conversation that is just so dear to my heart and I would like to just share a quote to start things off here. And this is from Edgar Allen Poe, who is one of my favorite artists, creatives writers of all time. And today we are going to be looking at the dark side, the struggle, the suffering, the pain. And this quotes from Poe says I have absolutely no pleasure in the stimulants in which I sometimes so madly indulge. It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have paralleled life and reputation and reason. It has been the desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom. 2s And when I read Edgle and Poe, it just hits me right in the core of my being. 1s When I read his words and his works, and especially this quote, right? It has not been in the pursuit of pleasure that I have perils life and reputation reason. It has been a desperate attempt to escape from torturing memories, from a sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom. 2s And I can't help but think how in my own life, I used to hear people say things like, oh, addicts are so selfish, and addicts are just, oh, you're just so concerned with having fun and you don't care about anybody else. And the recognition that I'm really coming to understand, the more I go down my path of ministerial and doctor of divinity and my spiritual practitioner work, and I really go deep into the metaphysics of recovery and what is actually going on on the mental level? What is actually going on internally for someone to go down the route of such severe addiction? And I think of my own life, right, and I think of. 1s How I was just desperately attempting to flee, to escape from my own torturing memories and emotions and thoughts, right? What was going on inside of me when I was in active addiction was torturous. It was painful. And so it wasn't that I was just seeking to have fun and have pleasure. It was was just desperately trying to numb the pain, right? And I'm sure some of you are going to relate with this. And so it's interesting because I'm coming up on eight years sober now in about two weeks. And when I think about what I've watched and witnessed and observed and seen as I watch people get sober and kind of do the twelve step thing or get sober and take different routes, and I think about where does the soul recovery, where does the spiritual recovery, where does self recovery fall into all this? And I keep coming back to pain, right? I keep coming back to the nervous system because what I see out there is many, many people who have never picked up a hard substance like, say, heroin or cocaine or these drugs that people look at and never do that, right? Okay, then they drink excessively or people who are like, well, I don't do any of that, I'm sober. But then they're kind of over here with all these other addictive and compulsive behaviors of things that, yes, maybe they're not as harmful, maybe they're not as destructive, but there's still this like, addictive and compulsive thing playing out. And now this is just my theory. Please get you guys today everything I'm sharing, yes, I'm going to be sharing some studies and writings and quotes, but also a lot of this is just my theory. This is what I've been connecting with in consciousness as I have meditated and prayed deeply on these concepts as I've studied, as I've read, and I've come to my own conclusions. 1s And what I'm really starting to understand is that it's still about pain. And because what happens is, you know, we can get sober, we can get physically sober, we can remove the drugs, remove the alcohol, remove the dependence, remove the tolerance, which puts us into a clearer state 100%, right? Our muscles, our tissues, our cells, everything starts to clear out and rejuvenate. Eventually, our mind comes on board, right? We start to maybe balance and more stabilize, letting the brain, the actual physical brain and all the neurotransmitters start to recover from all of the abuse of substances. But then we still have this pain, right, because that's where it tends to stop. Some people will go deeper and deeper, and they'll start getting into some of the emotional recovery. They'll maybe go into therapy, or maybe they'll go you know, they do their fourth step, different things like that, and people start to recover that way. But it seems to stop there because there still seems to be a disconnect between the true self recovery, the soul recovery, the spiritual recovery that is going to allow that sense of insupportable loneliness and a dread of some strange impending doom. The pain of torturing memories that we seek to escape. 1s It's all still there. Yes. We scrape away one layer. If you go to therapy or you do a fourth step or you start talking, you scrape away one layer. But there's still deeper layers, much deeper layers, compounded into the nervous system, compounded into the very psyche of our being as individuals. And the collective the pain body, right? We don't have our own individual pain body. There is this collective pain body that we are really feeling. We feel it. And so what happens is people remove the heavy destructive substances, and then maybe they start to put some layers of recovery in place, 1s but then there's still pain that they still don't know how to deal with because nobody talks about pain being okay. Pain not being something that's going to kill us. And we feel like it is. And so there's a bit of a writing that I really wanted to share here because I think it's a really cool point of thought, and I would love to offer it to all of you to spike your thoughts and to potentially hear some of your thoughts if anybody feels like sending me a message and sharing them. This comes from a writing on niche's will to power and heavy ears. Metaphysics of pain. A response to Mitchell. 2s So there's a very real school of thought out there that comes from Freud, that comes from these early medical pioneers that kind of look at pain as 1s this 1s symptom in the body, right. And they're not taking it much deeper. Yes, they sometimes dig into 2s it comes from the mind and or it comes from the emotions. So what they're talking about here today that I'm going to share with you is the idea of pain being from openness or pain being from closed off. Okay? So the paragraph I want to share with you is headache. Thinking of pain allows for a positive revaluation of pain as openness, not closure to the world. Andrew J. Mitchell contends in his Entering the World of Pain that pain is the surest sign that we wholly belong to this world. He says, in fact, pain is nothing other than our contact with the world and our openness to it. And so what he's sharing here is situating himself against two of the more popular accounts of pain where we hear from Freud, right, the psychoanalysis that has birthed from Freud, Sigmund Freud, and the humanist interpretation of pain that is articulated by Elaine Scarry in her book The Body of Pain. So both models from Scarry and Freud oppose pain and openness to the world. They see pain as a withdrawal from the world, as a withdrawal from meaning. 4s So I believe, right? And the humanist approach is that when the body is demanding attention it necessitates a withdrawal from and contraction of the world. 2s Okay? 5s And it goes on to talk about how we have to begin to move away away from the idea of pain as being something that we quote, unquote have right, I have this pain. And they further go on to talk about that. These false assumptions about pain can be traced back to the Greeks, as usual, whose zun logan ekan, which means a life form which has logos would also serve as a basis for creating Christian anthropology. And so they go on to talk about how we are looking at ourselves as these. 2s Beings that are here experiencing the world and, oh, okay. I have this pain like it's mine. There's an ownership over it. Right. And this is where I really, really, really believe that we are at a place in consciousness and mind and body and recovery, that we can begin to explore and contemplate this higher expanded viewpoint on this. That pain is just a sense. It's something we're experiencing, so it's not something we have. And I do believe. So. To come back to the article about whether it's openness or closedness, once upon a time, I would have agreed, oh, yes, pain comes because I'm disconnected, I'm cut off, I'm alone, I'm in pain. My understanding now and the work that I've done with my nervous system, which I'm going to go deeper into in a minute, is that no, I think that actually the pain is from being openness. Yes. Right. From being open to the world, open to life, in fact, sometimes we're so open, we're being inundated with all of this stuff collectively, individually, our own experiences. We don't know how to make sense of it. We don't know how to navigate through it, we don't know how to not attach to it. And so it becomes this compounded thing that we keep shoving away deep inside of us. 3s And then we just think we have to live with it, right? So there's another quote from Jim Morrison, from The Doors, who of course, brilliant, and he says, people are afraid of themselves, of their own reality, their feelings most of all. People talk about how great love is, but that's bullshit. Love hurts. Feelings are disturbing. People are taught thought that pain is evil and dangerous. How can they deal with love if they're afraid to steal? Pain is meant to wake us up. People try to hide their pain, but they're wrong. Pain is something to carry, like a radio. You feel your strength and the experience of pain. It's all in how you carry it. That's what matters. Pain is a feeling. Your feelings are a part of you, your own reality. If you feel ashamed of them and hide them, you're letting society destroy your reality. You should stand up for your right to feel your pain. From Jim Morrison. And I want to expand upon this even more, because that's exactly what I think happens, is that we allow society to destroy our reality and telling us we need to hide our pain. Every aspect of the world, and the way we're brought up into it, is to hide anything unpleasant. Right? And where does pain fall into that? Where does negative, heavy, dense suffering and emotions fall into that? Like something that has to be hidden away, tuck it away. We'll deal with that later, or maybe never at all. Well, what do you think that this does? This compounds you guys. It compounds in the nervous system. It compounds in the tissues. It compounds in the pain body. And so, and this is just now my own theory again, as I've meditated and worked with my nervous system and really kind of contemplated this, what I've come to understand is that. 3s Pain without a compounded mental meaning. Pain without a story of what the pain is is simply a sensation that we feel in our nervous system. 3s Compounded pain. Pain, the sensation that's overlaid and has to travel through energetic density and stories and traumas and disconnection from source and the belief that we're alone or separate or not good enough or shame 1s pain that is compounded by decades of other unhealed pains or unexpressed pains or lifetimes of unexpressed pain is debilitating. And so it's my first firm belief and my firm theory that people who suffer with things like chronic pain, fibromyalgia, these things that nobody we don't know why you have that. Oh, we don't know why you're in so much pain. We don't know. We don't know. 2s So what if it all comes back to the nervous system and the trauma and the compounded dense energy of unhealed pain and suffering that is now manifesting out into the body because it can no longer be shoved away into a corner, right? And it's not that. It's just that one person's pain. And that's the thing. This is collective. These are collective, chronic pain 1s disorders, are collective expressions of this unhealed compounded pain body. That's my theory. Because as I've worked with my own pain and obviously I've used many different drugs and struggled with many different addictions over my life to help off the pain, sometimes that pain was being perceived as physical. Oh, my God, my muscles, my nerves. I am physically in pain. But why then, when I medicated, was I still in pain? Because the pain was never just in my body. This is where western medicine. 3s Is being invited to evolve because not all right? There are a lot of medical professionals out there evolving, and I celebrate that. But for the most part, the school of thought we've come from is pain in the body comes from something that's happening in the body. Most of the time, we have a symptom in the body. They just try to treat the symptom without looking more deeply. So if it was just pain in the body, the pill that you took for the pain would handle it. And so it's my theory is that it's not always pain in the body. Now, I'm not saying, of course, sometimes there is, okay? My muscle sore. I overworked it. Oh, look. I've cut my arm. It hurts because I sliced through my nerve endings. That's the signal that I've injured myself. Yes, that's pain in the body. Right. But it's just the signal. But now I want you to imagine for a second, right? Okay. If you burn your hand whoops. I burnt my hand. How I pull back. We have the sensation. The sensation lets me know to pull back so I don't keep my hand on the hot thing. Perfect. No worries. Right. I go ahead, I soothe it, I treat the burn, bandage it, whatever I need to do. On we go. Now, say somebody else burns themselves, and maybe when they were a child, they were actually physically abused. List. 1s By being burned. Like maybe they were hit with something hot, right? Or something hot was placed on their skin to punish them. That punishment is coming with psychological, emotional, mental, spiritual, energetic, ramifications trauma that is then stored in that person. If they have it right, released, reprogrammed and healed from it, they haven't recovered from it. That trauma isn't. So what do you think? If you have two people side by side, one is the child who was burned as a punishment, the other one has never had a burn in their life. They get burned. 1s How do you think the reactions of those two people to that pain, to that burn, are going to differ? 1s The burn isn't any different. The stimulus isn't any different. Exactly the same stimulus. Two entirely different reactions. This is a microcosm to a macrocosm. This is why when we look at life, we see massively different reactions from people over the very same stimulus. Because, you guys, the stimulus isn't actually causing the pain. Yes. If something in the body gets hurt or we get emotionally hurt, we have the sensation. It's just a messenger. And what I've come to understand in my own self now, when I have a pain in my body, right, when there is a pain sensation happening. 2s Because I'm no longer full of years of compounded undeveloped with pain and suffering, dread of some impending doom, insupportable loneliness and torturing memories, as that grellin poetel does. 1s I'm no longer inundated by this pain. It's merely a sensation. It's bearable. It's almost pleasant. I can sit with with it. 1s And I don't know if I adequately have the words as we kind of bring this conversation to a close here today. I don't know if I adequately have the words to express the sheer expansion, if you will, and the ability to be able to have this conversation. Because if you could understand, and I'm sure actually many of you will understand this, I take that back to control all the way. Many of you will understand this statement. 1s I once spent so much of my time in anguish, right? And that anguish started to be expressed in my body through muscular pains and nerve pains, but it was always so much deeper. It was mental pain and it was emotional pain. 5s So every time I would have something in my body happen, it would be like, my excuse, right? So I would then have these injuries that would happen, and I would have an excuse to just inundate and over medicate and take all the things and take it away. And that's how I would justify, well, I'm in pain, I'm in pain, I'm in pain. And I would justify. And I would justify. And I would justify. So for me, someone like me, to be able to sit here and tell you that when I have a sensation now, even just yesterday or on Monday sorry, I had to go to the dentist for my permanent crown. The crown didn't fit, so he had to put me back into a temporary crown. He had to numb me all over again, and they had to do a little bit more work as I wait for my permanent crown to come back. My new permanent crown. You guys all know dental work OMG, right? My nerve in my molar is pissed. It hurts. It's sensitive, okay? It was like you went back in there and you jacked me up, and it is yelling, okay? 1s So for me to be able to. 4s Be with the sensation and get curious about what the sensation is telling me and look for what is happening there, right? What is happening on the bigger picture? What is happening metaphysically, and sit with it 1s and not run out and seek the heaviest medication I can. You know 1s that even when it flares up, then it drops back down. It's almost just like a screaming child that wants to be heard. 1s It has a message, right? Our pain has a message. 1s And so that is what I invite each and every one of you to contemplate after this conversation to think about in this conversation. Because because when you begin to truly drain your system, your nervous system and your subconscious mind, because you guys know your nervous system is your direct connection with the divine. 2s And when we are identifying with the world, as we've talked about so many times in this podcast, when we're identifying with the external world, we're forgetting ourselves, we're forgetting soul, we're forgetting spirit. 1s And that's when we believe we are the pain, right? Like we heard about from the Greeks, right? Okay, I am this pain. I have this pain. I'm identifying with this pain. We do it with our emotions. When we begin in to clear out our nervous system through healing, through subconscious reprogramming, through trauma work, we start the recovery of self, the recovery of soul, the recovery of spirit. That nervous system is like a clear, clear channel. It's a clear channel. So when there is a pain, you can hear the message, because it's not exaggerated, because it's radiating through through years of compounded pain. 1s And that, my friends, is where we get to move into the place where we don't have to desperately seek to escape anymore. We don't have to try to numb the torturing memories or the sense of insupportable loneliness or the dread of some strange impending doom. We get to love life. We get to love all of our feelings. And so that is what I declare today for each and every one of you. I invite you to begin that journey. Just make a decision today. Make a decision to be done with the need to numb. You don't have to be actively using illegal drugs and substances to still be numbing, right? There's codependency, there's social media, there's all the things we talk about on here. All of the ways the external world is pulling you out and numbing you from you. Your brilliance, your glory, your truth, all of the sensations of life. Just like Jim Morrison said, we got to feel all of it. We have to ride all of the waves. So I invite you to just make a decision. Make a choice. Because the moment you decide, God can bring it to form. You don't have to bring it to form. You don't have to know how to heal it all. Just decide today. And God universal law, infinite spirit, is going to move the way to make it happen. But you have to decide first. You have to decide first. So I invite each one of you today to decide. Decide for yourself, to connect, to recover, to reclaim yourself, your soul and your spiritual connection. The truth of who and what you are. That is what this whole movement is about. That is what I invite you to do. You. 1s It's time you want this. You're here for a reason. And so if you are ready, reach out to me. You can reach out to me on social media. Lindsay Caracarti. I am Lindskaracardi on Instagram. Reach out. Send me an email. Lindsaycaracardi@gmail.com let's connect. I would love to hear your thoughts on this conversation, your thoughts about pain. And if you're ready to go deeper into to the work, you can join us in New Thought Recovery. You can join me. And for my one to one coaching, there's so much support out there for you just knowing you have to just decide. Decide to know the truth of who the fuck you are and reclaim it right here, right now. I love you and I will see you next time. Hey Divine Badass, thanks again for tuning in and being here on Detoxing from The Matrix, where we talk all things awakening, ascension, consciousness and the recovery of self, soul and spirit from being strung out on the greatest drug of all the external Matrix. If you know someone who would benefit from our illuminating conversations, please don't hesitate to share this podcast with a friend. And if you loved this episode or the podcast as a whole, don't forget to leave a review. It really helps spread the message and expand the collective. Don't hesitate to connect with me over on The Socials. You can find me all over the place at I am Lins Karakardi. I've really been having a blast over on TikTok with some great content and conversations. You can also find me on IG or in my Facebook community, the Money Matrix Detox. Be sure to check out the links below in the description for all the connections on social media, other ways we can connect, some free gifts and resources that will support your own awakening ascension, as well as ways that we can work together.