Episode 21: Our FIRST Fireside Chat - Votes, Guns, and a Cult Birthday!

We promised and now we're delivering! Our Fireside Chats are all about tackling the news stories that are hitting us hard and sharing our views. We anticipate moments of "Yep, exactly" along with moments of "That's total bullsh*t!" 

In our FIRST EVER Fireside Chat we jump head first into the hard stuff. Both racism and gun control reared their ugly heads and we tackle the heavy questions, reflecting on recent tragedies and exploring ways to prevent them. Through examining our current legal structure, we discuss how intervention options could play out and what this signifies for our society. We also delve into Jane's cult adventures in Wisconsin, adding some humor and lightness to this hefty conversation.

Switching gears, we discuss the struggles and injustices faced by those living below the poverty line. We shed light on the current voting system in Florida, exposing the difficulties it has created, particularly for people of color. We also bring attention to the fear of violence that is heightened for people of color and the impact of escalating living costs. We conclude this segment by iterating the importance of promoting anti-racism and educating ourselves on the systemic racism ingrained in American society.

Lastly, we highlight Colin Kaepernick's 'Know Your Rights' campaign and the importance of community support. We stress the need for parents to be conscious of the messages they convey to their children, especially in the current climate of rising gun violence. We punctuate the episode by emphasizing the significance of being informed and proactive in the upcoming elections. 

True to form, though, we wrap up on a lighter note, joking about the joys of teaching our kids annoying songs and expressing gratitude to our listeners. Join us for a journey of laughter, learning, and exploration.

Reach out to us at dumpsterdivejj@gmail.com

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Transcript

Speaker 1: 0:02

Oh hello.

Speaker 2: 0:06

This is the song that doesn't end the breakers on and on my phone. Thank you for starting it. No more I'm going to sing it forever, just because you're so strong, you. You are listening to dumpster diving with. Janice and Jane.

Speaker 1: 0:36

Very Well, we just need to make this the first episode we actually uploaded to YouTube. Because of the visual, you won't have to explain it. People can see you.

Speaker 2: 0:44

Well, you know, I could always just do this and go and.

Speaker 1: 0:47

Jane, that's what I'm saying. That's exactly right. It's a good look for you. I didn't realize we were coming to Halloween, though I thought we were like it's.

Speaker 2: 0:58

Here's. Here's the news flash for you. As soon as my birthday hits, august 21st. If anybody is curious of when my birthday is, then it becomes Halloween season. Oh, I didn't know. So you got your pumpkin spice latte Did you Did.

Speaker 1: 1:14

You know I did that on the 10th.

Speaker 2: 1:16

I'm not a big pumpkin spice latte person, but I got a blended one and it was pretty delicious, delicious, so I had. I part, I partook in that, but my favorite I didn't know. Okay, everybody. Fall has begun. I didn't realize the seasons revolved around Jane but evidently now we've just all learned together.

Speaker 1: 1:32

You know, I mean, if we really think about it.

Speaker 2: 1:34

Yes, I do some pretty magical things on or around my birthday and this year on the 20th, in celebration of my birthday, and I'm going to be doing a little bit of a video. I'm going to be doing a little bit of a video. I'm going to be doing a little bit of a video with the camera In celebration of my birthday, I brought a tropical flash, hurricanes you did and an earthquake.

Speaker 1: 1:58

So you know, Move for you.

Speaker 2: 2:02

Cause it was my birthday, it's true. A couple years before that, I graced everyone with a solar eclipse. I don't know if people remember that a couple of years ago, back in, like I think, 2018. It was, and I have pictures on Facebook to record that moment. So, and I did say, you're welcome, everyone, for my birthday, I've given you an eclipse.

Speaker 1: 2:21

So what I hear you saying is you are truly a gift to humanity, I mean you could say that Okay, all right.

Speaker 1: 2:29

Well, I mean thank goodness then for you. So that makes this nice part really scary, because here's the truth, everybody. So I'm sitting here at my little home in sunny San Diego with a heat wave. For those of you who are in the South, that means 94 degrees. In San Diego, I have my high noon because it's a Monday evening. I don't wanna open a bottle of wine because you know I don't typically drink during the week, but because that's our first fireside chat, I mean you gots to toast that puppy. So I'm here, but Pachaine, where?

Speaker 1: 2:57

in the world are you.

Speaker 2: 3:00

Oh well, I hopped a flight Saturday. I traveled all day, yes. Climbed many mountains, yes. Rivers I crossed many rivers and trudged through valleys, yes. And I made it to Reedsburg, wisconsin.

Speaker 1: 3:21

So how do I wanna put this? So we're having our first fireside chat while Jane is in Podunk, wisconsin, and that's what you said, right. And so I have been speaking with Jane for about 10 minutes before we started recording and what I have surmised in my brief time is that clearly she's joining a cult. So everybody, just put down your drinks and your pipes and whatever else you got going on, because you know that's what's happening right now. We're gonna have a seance. Yes, we are. We are People are gonna witness our seance while you were on the cusp of cold food. Yes, and I'm gonna say to you about pulling you back right, it's gonna be about like getting you to resist the cult.

Speaker 2: 4:06

Okay, Well, I mean you could, but I'm pretty hooked at this point. So I think that what we really should be focusing on is your entry into the cult and just make it one big happy family.

Speaker 1: 4:18

Here's what I know. What I know is that our Shitscreek fans out there are gonna understand the reference to oh, should I just forgot it? What is it called? They elevate to the then, not the gate, maybe it is the gate, I can't remember, but it's something crazy like that and they go to, like, work out at this gym and she thinks she's promoting a gym, but it turns out it's actually a cult, you know what I'm saying.

Speaker 2: 4:40

Yeah, I was like elevate something that wasn't me. What was?

Speaker 1: 4:42

that Jane's elevating everyone. That's what's happening right now. Yeah, she's elevating. So you know, the podcast may or may not go on. Actually, it'll go on even without her. Oh, It'll be our connection to her.

Speaker 2: 4:56

Diving with Janice and Jane without Jane, oh no, the dumpster gets much deeper.

Speaker 1: 4:59

if one of us is in a cult girl, it's on fire.

Speaker 2: 5:04

Well, we could start our own cult. I mean, who's I mean?

Speaker 1: 5:08

a cult following is one thing, but a straight up cult, I don't think I have time. I mean, I'm really busy.

Speaker 2: 5:13

Well, okay, we're not living on a commune or anything, you know? I mean, it was constant. For God's sakes, you have time for this cult, I promise you. Actually, we'll just call it dumpster diving with Janice and Jane and we already and then let people come along, walk into our web, walk into our web. I love it.

Speaker 1: 5:30

I love it. Okay, so let's get down to business. Yes, pause her cult hazing for an hour, because we're here for our first fireside chat people. Well, yeah, we promised, now we're delivering, and if you are a true fan, you already know that fireside chat means we're gonna be taking off our what's the word? Our daily kind of be nice mask and we're just gonna just felt like it is.

Speaker 2: 5:58

Well, I think it's because, you know, we really wanted this, and I think we might've mentioned this is that we're constantly wearing our coaches hat, our professional hat, and we are expected in our positions to always have that on, you know, and as humans it's quite impossible to always have it on, but we do a pretty good job of it. I feel we both do and this is our little, you know corner, our dark corner with flames, to talk about the things that maybe we react to, we have emotionally reacted to and not responded to.

Speaker 1: 6:28

And what?

Speaker 2: 6:28

is our personal reaction, and then how are we working through it or what are our thoughts or what? You know what questions have come up and stuff like that. I have Mr Chris sitting next to me so he may even chime in here. There he's the leader of the cult.

Speaker 1: 6:45

Continue.

Speaker 2: 6:46

Yeah, and then? Well, I mean, we have to get our lessons from somewhere. That's true. Somebody had to be chosen to be the prophet, Somebody, and why not him? I mean, he's pretty magnificent. I love the hat with the horns that he wears sometimes, you know. Oh cute as he chokes on his water.

Speaker 1: 7:07

You know, okay, everybody, that is water. You're listening from Wisconsin. If you could call 911 and send them to Jane right now, that would be like.

Speaker 2: 7:15

You don't know what basement I'm chained in.

Speaker 1: 7:17

That would be great. That's true. That's true Again, it's a lot of work. It is. It is, I mean, even you would be really a lot of work. I just don't have time.

Speaker 2: 7:25

There's so many basements in Wisconsin, it's true.

Speaker 1: 7:28

It's true, anyway, so yeah, so that's our intention, you guys.

Speaker 1: 7:33

And what I love about what Jane just said is it really is about like it's not that in our regular episodes we're not being our authentic selves because we are, but in those episodes we are also very much trying to offer a balanced perspective.

Speaker 1: 7:47

We're trying to offer a place where we're kind of remaining neutral while we help think about other things right, in this space. It's not that we're gonna, you know, sit here and bitch and moan at you, because God knows you don't need us to do that, but instead we're gonna put some issues on the table that are just hard to talk about, and what we honestly hope you're gonna take away from it is a better understanding of who we are, but also, most importantly, maybe some ideas about how you can start talking about these things in a way that invites other people in and doesn't close doors and exclude people. Right, Because we already know that closing the doors and pushing people out has gotten us here, and so now it's time to have hard conversations in ways that invite people into them, even when people disagree with us. Right? How do we talk through it when we disagree?

Speaker 2: 8:31

So that's what we're gonna do.

Speaker 1: 8:32

And we're gonna kick it off today, right, jane, by you know we're gonna. They're gonna be sometimes where we have specific guests that we invite in because there's a particular topic, but today we're gonna start with kind of a current event type of approach, right? So, literally, we looked back in the last week and we said, okay, what's going on that's really causing us some angst and we really want to use our platform to shed some light on. And the thing that we landed on, of course, was the shooting that happened at the Dollar General in Florida this past weekend. So we're recording this on August 28th, so this just happened a couple of days ago.

Speaker 1: 9:04

You guys will hear this episode a week from now. I think we said fireside chats. We're gonna put out the week in between our episodes, and so it's very relevant. And you know, right now, honestly, the sad thing is, jane, right, like it doesn't necessarily need our spotlight, because everybody's already taught, everybody's gonna be talking about it for days. But a week from now, by the time this airs, we'll have stopped talking about it already. So that'll be the perfect time, right, to shed a spotlight.

Speaker 2: 9:28

So we'll have to talk about that. Well, different aspects, and you know what came to mind when you were talking about your side of it is. What comes up for me is this is like. This is like a conversation between sisters. Yeah, like this is just how we would have conversations if we weren't recording.

Speaker 2: 9:48

Normally, that's right. So yeah, so our fireside chats are just us, you know, recording our conversation about these things. And again, you know we're gonna have to have a disclaimer because people are gonna. You know we may piss some people off, but you know we're telling you about it now. So why don't you kick us off, janice, why don't you kind of I mean, because I've I haven't, I've been Very busy the last couple of days, traveling and stuff like that, and I I'm not one to watch the news, I'm just not.

Speaker 2: 10:17

I was traumatized by it as a kid because that's all my mom watched, you know, and so all we heard about was current events and what are going on and blah, blah, blah, and it gives it Kind of, it's kind of triggering, you know. So I had to take mine in small doses. Unfortunately, I rely on social media a lot because I look at it, but even the last couple days I haven't even really looked at my social media. So now I'm just really Blind to what's going on now. So all I know is what I know from the other day. But it did provoke a Lot of emotion with me and I'm curious of you know where you're at and then I can kind of segue into when I'm at with it and the thoughts that I had, you know, and the fears and everything else.

Speaker 1: 10:59

Well, and what I hope and I'm gonna say this out loud right now so we both remember and hold ourselves to it that maybe what we can do is, as we're kind of designing these Firesite chats is, at the end, really kind of come back around to okay. So what can you do, right, like so that each and each time somebody walks away from one of these really challenging conversations, they walk away feeling empowered about what they can do and what we can commit to is Going into the show notes and adding that at the end of them, right Like, here are a couple of things that you could do. So, basically, what we know is that last Saturday, a White man entered a dollar general store there's other things leading up to it but entered a dollar general store in Florida. He drove out of his own town into a town nearby to do this, entered a dollar general store on his way in, shot I think it was like 11 rounds into a car that was sitting there, shot and killed the driver of the car, a woman in the car there, and then, once inside the store, shot and killed two other people.

Speaker 1: 11:55

We know that the gunman was white. We know that the three victims were black, of different ages, different genders, and that right out of the gate, law enforcement has called this a hate crime. Now, what I appreciate about this is they didn't call it a hate crime Simply because it was a white gunman and black victims and I'm not saying that's not reason enough, by the way, but they but they call it a hate crime right out of the gate because, evidently, after the guy killed the three folks, he went into the office of the store, called his father I guess he lived at home Told his father to break into his bedroom with a screwdriver and when he did, his father found his last will and testament and his suicide note and then he killed himself and killed himself. He, you know, he had Markings and tattoos and stuff on his body that indicated Nazi affiliations and white supremacist affiliations, and so he's been referred to in that way as a result of those things and, I'm sure, other things that we don't even know about yet. So really, for me it brings up two big things that just constantly are at the forefront. Well, I shouldn't even say they're constantly at the forefront, but they're constantly occurring, and so we we are constantly kind of engaged in a debate about them. One is, of course, the impact of hate in this country as it applies to people of color, and the second, of course, is the conversation around what the hell are we gonna do about guns? Now, the one caveat I'll offer, before I'm quiet and I and I move aside for you to reflect on that, is that One thing they did Affirm is that this young man, when he was I think he's in his mid to late 20s now back when he was like 15 or 16, he was voluntarily committed for like a three-day screening at a psychiatric facility.

Speaker 1: 13:44

Since then, zero indicators, zero red flags. He's not, he doesn't have any mental health diagnoses. He hasn't been Provided any services as a result of that, no issues at all. And both guns he had, a handgun and an assault rifle. Both guns were purchased legally. So the point of that was as and I think it was the police chief from that County who was saying this on the news the other day is that there is nothing with our current legal structure that could have Prevented this from happening in terms of the gun control part, in terms of that part of it, he purchases guns legally, no red flags. No, you know, never been to jail, none of those things. There was nothing in his history to have drawn attention to him and to have prevented him from owning those firearms. So there you go. That's it in a nutshell.

Speaker 2: 14:32

Yeah, it's just crazy to me. It's just, you know, I, I Think of it, the things that jump out at me and and that really like hit home for me is I have bivariational children, yes, and so it wasn't about and, and and my boyfriend here is is not white, you know, and so and, and and I work with the black and brown community and and I mean, I feel like I am part of that community because I've Was raised in that community and and everything else. And for me it hits so hard because so many of my family members, friends, you know, people that I call family because they've become friends, our black or brown, and and it's scary as fuck that I have three daughters that are, that are multi-racial, that at any moment could be targeted just because of the color of their skin. That's, you know, it could be targeted because of color of a skin, and that's so scary, you know, and I mean the fact is, you know, we've talked about Different things and I was like you know I would, I'll visit the Midwest, but because of those issues, I will never live in the Midwest. Yeah, because there's it's, it's predominant, and and and and there's things that are said and it's bred through the families and it's all of these things and it's Freakin scary, you know, and and each, each race could have their own thing, whatever you know, but it's I don't know, I just I it's scary, you know, and the stuff going on in Florida with with the laws changing and everything else, I mean, and then you know people are leaving and drones be, or it's just leaving, mass exodus because they don't want to be there and they don't feel welcome, they don't feel safe. That's something when you have a lot of people leaving, thousands, hundreds, thousands I don't know the number but when you have them leaving because of the new laws and they don't feel Safe. That's what our country is about, our country, and people come here to feel safe and to feel protected and all of those things, and it's just not people Immigrating, it's people here too, and and we don't even feel safe, you know, and it's like when is this shit gonna stop?

Speaker 2: 16:56

Like why, why, why does somebody feel more superior than another because of the color of their freaking skin? Nobody is superior than each other. Like that's my raw feeling about it. Like, yeah, get over it. You know, there's no superior race. There's no, none of that. We're all equal and we all need to. Just Freakin I hate saying it, but get along, you know. But I mean it's like that's the stuff that goes through my head. That's the raw stuff, and it's not very educated and it's not very, you know, articulate, but that's what goes through my head. You know, like now I have to worry about my kids. Not only am I part of the lgbtq Q community and a single mom and all these things, but now I have to worry about, you know, this stuff and I mean I've always worked about it, but it's like crazy.

Speaker 1: 17:39

It's crazy? Well, it's, it is, and, um, you know, I think, that everyday people, if you will and I would count us as that Our perspectives matter a lot, and we know, of course, that the only way that our perspectives are factored in is through voting, right. So there's this through line for me in terms of thinking about some of the things that you just said. So I'm going to start with the issue of hate crimes against brown and black people, and you know, what's really frustrating and a little bit terrifying about this is that, with this event happening in Florida and these events are happening all over the country all the time, right, so it's not unique to Florida, but with them happening in Florida, it's a kind of a double and triple whammy for a couple of reasons. Right, I'm an educator, so I'm a big believer that education is the way that we change hearts and minds, right, like we have to bring learning to the table. And so what's really terrifying about this in my educator head is that this is happening, in this case, in a state where, at the same time, they're actively passing laws that minimize what people can learn, right, so Florida is one of those frontrunner states that is really trying hard to whitewash the curriculum across the state in terms of education.

Speaker 1: 19:02

It resists like slavery never happened. Exactly so, and you know. It's all at the you know, with the excuse that we don't want other people to feel bad. Right, we don't want white people to feel bad. But at the heart of it is when you educate kids about what the history actually is without you don't even have to say it's right or wrong. Right, frankly, it's unnecessary to say what's right or wrong. It's clear. Right.

Speaker 1: 19:28

But when you fail to, or you actively worked against educating a generation of people about the truth of what occurred, in terms of how we ended up with a system that's designed to keep brown and black people down and fosters they hate that we see evidence in a situation like this, that's a huge double triple whammy. Right, because now you have people in that state who have to fight back in terms of, you know, the appropriate education measures, although they're not the majority, because they're passing laws because the majority wants to whitewash history. Right, but, and on some level in my mind, when you do that, you fuel the hate that exists in people that comes down to racial differences. Right, you fuel it because, whether you say it out loud or not. When you're trying to remove the historical accuracy in this country and in what we teach our kids, you are sending the message that what has been happening for the last several hundred years is accurate, that the idea that one group is less than another is exactly how it should be.

Speaker 2: 20:34

Yeah, well, and that's exactly what they're doing. They're saying it doesn't exist, but then they're doing it Exactly. We're erasing history, so it doesn't exist. No, no, no, no, no. You're making new history about that hatred, right, and at the end of the day, what's going to end up happening or what potentially could happen? I don't want to wish this out there or manifested by any means, but there could be a freaking another civil war because people in Florida don't agree with everything that's going on, and then they then we're battling it out Like this is not what the United States is about.

Speaker 1: 21:06

Well, and they're really, you know, one of the really troubling.

Speaker 1: 21:10

There's so much with the system, right, and there's like a 20 zillion fireside chats we can have about this, but everything connects to the next thing, right.

Speaker 1: 21:17

And so what's connected to all of this is that, because of the way our system has been designed and has flourished for some people over the last several hundred years, we do have a growing group of people who are barely surviving, financially speaking, in this country, and it's that disregard, right, it's disregard. The design of a system that's creating, that's that is contributing to that right. Like the income wealth gap is larger now, I think, than it's ever been in the history of our country, and so the more people who end up in that part, that slice of the pie, so to speak, that can't make ends meet, that aren't making even a way to put them above the poverty line, that is going to continue to foster disgruntlement, disenfranchisement, all the things that are going to be done, and disenfranchisement all the things that will lead to what you're talking about in terms of in terms of, you know, people fighting back, because at some point, when your basic needs aren't met, all you can do is fight back.

Speaker 2: 22:15

Right, that's it, that's all you have left Right and I mean and that's I mean. That's the heart and soul of everything I do at work. I work with people that are underprivileged, meaning they don't even. They don't, they don't even meet the poverty line, they're below the poverty line, they barely survive. They're ego and and they're doing their best. They all work. It's not like there's a. I work with a bunch of people that don't work. No, they work their asses off and they just want to have better for, you know, for the next generation. Like we do. You know, like we didn't, we did a great job of raising our kids, you know, or so are, and not putting them through all the crap that our parents put us through and and taking those lessons and applying them and doing all the things that they weren't willing to do, you know. So here we are working hard, and then these Han Yackers are like like, what are you doing?

Speaker 1: 23:05

I'm sorry, can you define that for me?

Speaker 2: 23:07

I'm going to need a definition, han Yackers you know, you know people that are just doing the wrong thing.

Speaker 1: 23:12

Okay, all right, I need it on behalf of our listeners. I had to ask that question.

Speaker 2: 23:16

An old lady term. It really, is it really?

Speaker 1: 23:19

is. It's a I think it's a cult term, anyway, so so so one one facet of kind of the complicating factor here is the education system. The other is the voting system. Florida, again, is in the forefront of states who have been working actively since the last presidential election to enact new regulations that make it harder to vote. And we all know this is like climate change, right, I think. I feel like, for the most part, nobody questions climate change is real anymore, right, nobody's questioning that anymore, but we're still borderline, not paying attention in some ways to and by we I mean the larger majority. There are plenty of people working their asses off on the ground to fight things like this, right, but I feel like we're starting to finally turn the corner on this, to this understanding that in some states in this country there are people actively making it harder to vote because they know that means that black and brown people will be less likely to vote, and it's not about making things harder for white people, it's absolutely about making things harder for black and brown people.

Speaker 1: 24:24

And probably the only encouraging thing I've heard last week after the Republican debate is that the kind of Republican Party and Republican candidates have finally kind of crossed over into the whole idea of, like, advanced voting and being able to vote by mail early, etc. Because they were so, they lost so much in the last election because they tried to demonize it and make it sound like it wasn't a good idea. So now they finally gotten on that, on board that ship. But in Florida, like I said, in a lot of states they are actively trying to make it harder for people to vote through a variety of what looks like small little tweaks to the voting registration or voting legislation there and in fact it has huge impacts on, again, certain populations of people.

Speaker 1: 25:04

So my point is how, like that one event surfaces, how incredible it's like a, it's like a fricking time bomb waiting to go off, right, when you put all of those pieces together, right? So if I live in a state where you're not going to let kids learn about my history as a black or brown person, where you're going to make it harder for me to vote as a black or brown person and where I can't fucking walk into the dollar general because somebody down Right, right, like what am I left with right? And I will say this that's what I'm leaving.

Speaker 1: 25:39

Well, hopefully, but for some people, I mean it's the matter is people can't right. Like it's easy to think like why don't they just leave? Right, but, to your point, like they're also the people who like, have the least amount of means in some cases right to be able to do that right, because it costs a lot of money to up and move from point A to point B.

Speaker 2: 25:59

Right, it costs five grand to move, you know, arizona to California. You know like it's a lot of money and so and so, and that's. The thing is like they are downplaying all of this shit to make people go oh, it's no big deal, I'm just going to vote for it and then, boom, people don't have rights. Yeah, you know like scary and that's. I mean, that's one of the big reasons why I like stay away from stuff like that, but it's more of a reason for me to be involved in it, because you know being I just need to know more, you know, because it's just it's crazy and it's scary.

Speaker 2: 26:34

You know, and you know, I know where safer places for people like me and my kids are to live and stuff like that. But they're also, you know, places like California where it's super expensive to live. You know, I don't. I don't have a big savings account. I live pretty much paycheck to paycheck and I make a dozen salary, but I also have big bills in California. But that just that in itself is is worth it to me to know that kids are safer than they would be in another place.

Speaker 2: 27:04

Let me just say that, because are we really safe all the time? No, anything could happen. You know, anything could happen. Somebody could lose their damn mind and this or the dollar general thing. I mean he seems sane. I mean if you look at everything you seem sane. And I mean he looked at him on paper. You never know when somebody's going to snap or find an excuse to do something because they've always wanted to do it. And then you know obviously he didn't value his life, if he's, if he's committing suicide at the same time. You know he went out, he wanted to go out with a bang, literally, and and do this stuff to notoriety, but didn't want to hang out to figure it out. You know it's like this.

Speaker 1: 27:41

I know I did this, whatever, and now I'm just going to offer it Really, really you know Well, honestly, I got to tell you, when I, when I read the story for the first time and then, of course, I've watched several news reports etc the very first time I read the story about him going in, gunning people down and then shooting himself, I thought suicide bomber. I thought, okay, so we're actually you're a terrorist turning a corner, where now in our country there are people who are being so, you know, on some level I'm going to call it brainwashed, so brainwashed to believe in this idea of white people and this idea of white supremacy, etc. That they are willing to kill themselves in order to make a point on their belief system.

Speaker 1: 28:25

That's no different than terrorist groups who train people of all ages to go in and blow places up.

Speaker 2: 28:32

That's what I'm saying is like this person went out not as a yes, a hate crime, but you went out as a terrorist, because now you have evoked terror through that whole area. You know, now you're, you're associated with a certain group. Now the people that are victims of this are going to be scared, and either they're going to run or hide or they're going to fight back, and if and if that happens, it's going to get really, really ugly. You know, and and a lot of people are going to lose their lives over over the stuff that shouldn't even exist. You know, it just makes me so fucking angry that people can just have this. You know, privilege, that they're better than somebody, and and and their life like that. You know, like, what a coward, what a fucking coward. You know, and and I'm just so angry about it because now I have to worry about, you know, all these things, and I've already had to deal with stuff with my daughters, you know, I mean, my daughter was going to a Christian school and I think I mentioned this before and a boy told her she should be out in the field picking cotton Because he she didn't like him, you know, like want it.

Speaker 2: 29:37

He was like oh, I like you, and she's like and you know I'm 12. Yeah, not enough to date. And so he told her that because he was mad. What the hell's wrong with people? But they learn that from somewhere. So, you know, it's time for us, as as Americans and adults and parents, to knock this shit off, like just knock it off. They already have enough exposure to everything else. Can't we just teach them to love everybody? And because not only the school thing, like you, take away that. What kind of naive, ignorant people are you raising and educated?

Speaker 1: 30:12

And the good thing is, like you said, like they can get information from everywhere right so even you can whitewash the hell out of it.

Speaker 1: 30:18

But the tricky part is, like you said, there's a lot of influence that we have as parents, right, and really it's an opportunity as parents for us to check ourselves and our messaging around our kids, right. What do we really believe? What do we want them to believe? What are we conveying? But it also you know so much of it, unfortunately. Unfortunately, on some level. That's the easy part, right, because so much of it is embedded in the American system. Right, and it's one of the things I really love about the the hell's it called I just forgot the name of it the 14, not 14 was a 1419. The podcast there's a podcast and I just drew a little bit, but, but you know about the origins, if you will, slavery in this country is one of the things I love about it, because it really starts to help you better understand, and so that's a what, something I can do. Right, once, the one thing that you can absolutely do is begin to better educate yourself in terms of the ways that the system around you is fostering racism and what you can do to contribute to changing that.

Speaker 1: 31:20

Right now, I know most of us feel like our small sphere is all we control. But the fact of the matter is, at the very least we all do vote at least I hope we all do vote and it's through that voting that you can begin to have influence over your local right, even if you feel like federal and state is so huge you can't influence it, which you can, but over your local right. Like so often, it's easy to get that ballot and there's like 27 things I have to vote for, right and this council member and that committee, and I don't even know what the hell happy things are. And five years ago I literally was voting blind, like, I think, probably a lot of people, and it was George Floyd's turn that made me finally stop and go. I need to fucking know what these people stand for and why the hell they're running and what the hell they want to do, because I it's the least I can do as a white woman in this country, right, literally, it's the least I can do. So that's one way is to really begin to educate yourself in all the ways that racism is built into our system, because I can send messages of kindness all day long to my kids and I can send, I can, I can build them to be young people who don't tolerate other people but who thrive alongside other people. I should nobody should feel like I am, that nobody should feel grateful that I'm tolerating them that's bullshit but I should that everybody around me, no matter what they look like, what they bring to the table, we should be finding ways to thrive alongside each other in a community, right? But? But the fact of the matter is I raise my kids like that all day long and then they go out into a system where, because, even though two of our children, two of our children, are half Mexican and half American, for the most part they look right, the outside of them looks Caucasian, and so you know, they still, all six of them still walk out into a world where they have a level of privilege simply because their skin is white. And I will say I had a reminder about this.

Speaker 1: 33:11

So I, back when I was a middle school principal a million years ago, I had a group of African American parents who came to me because they saw this is a system, this is an example of how the system is working against right Some races. They saw that their young boys, who were older elementary school about to come into our middle school, we're already starting to lose their kind of zest for learning right, and they were already starting to adopt this mentality that being smart wasn't cool but in athletic was what was cool, etc. And they knew in part it had very much to do with how they saw themselves represented as black children right in our community. So, long story short, they started this whole organization, called excellent options and partnered with us as the school in order to foster some additional conditions we could create for their kids to thrive. And since then, those young men that we could back then we started in 2012 they all graduated in 2012. And so since then they're, all you know, young men who are thriving.

Speaker 1: 34:12

But the organization is still going like it kept going, with more groups of kids after, and on and on and on, and there's a woman who does documentaries, who just finished a documentary on it, so I just watched part one of it and I was reminded because they brought all those original parents back together to chat with each other.

Speaker 1: 34:31

They did so many powerful things and one of the things that they had to do and I remember this for me was a really important moment in my own learning because I had never thought of it before, but they brought in adults from all different industries before the kids to see other black men who were succeeding in all kinds of industries etc.

Speaker 1: 34:52

But one of the things they had to do with their black sons was spend time talking about their safety. Right that the fact that even as a 10 year old, 11 year old, 12 year old black male walking around the world, they had a target on their backs simply because they were black men and I, so you, I thought of this as you were talking about your girls and that had never been like. That was just a never part like. It never even occurred to me. I had never know so hearing so it was a huge learning for me back then. And then hearing it again on this video this weekend that I was watching and I was reminded of it and I just thought I can't imagine having that on top of everything else that parents do to keep their kids safe.

Speaker 2: 35:30

Right, right, you know it. What it brings up for me is and this is goes several years back Our buddy, colin Kaepernick. You know where he helped because he, he was so aware and not afraid to To stand up for what he knew was right. And it's people like that and people like us, you know, like we're doing this podcast, we can choose not to talk about this. We could say, oh, that's too hard and we don't want to. You know, stir the shit, pod or whatever. But you know what, like, we're both parents, you're an educator, I'm, you know, we're both coaches, I work with underprivileged, you know Communities and stuff like that, and that's my heart, you know. So we have to talk about it.

Speaker 2: 36:16

But it's Colin Kaepernick, you know he has put together a whole Non-profit called know your rights. Yeah, and we actually hosted a know your rights campaign where 500 children came in, ranging from babies to, you know, teenagers, and we had an all-day event where Colin Kaepernick came in with his team and did A know your rights campaign and it was all black and brown kids and they let them know. You know, these are your rights, you don't need to talk to the police. You, you have, and they gave him cards and and it was so powerful and they had all these different speakers and the kids got to Colin Kaepernick and and I got to, you know, kind of hang out with him, kind of behind the scenes and just watching him. He was, you know, he's playing with his, his staff's kids and and he's just such a cool dude and it really changed, you know, because back then I didn't quite understand. Now, now, and just like you said, george Floyd really put it on, you know, foot, that's on its head, because it's like you know, no, colin Kaepernick was right, lauren Hill, she's right, you know, she could sing songs in the 90s about this and people were like bow God, you're just old, that's, that's historical trauma. No, it's right, fucking now, exactly.

Speaker 2: 37:32

But you, but nobody else, they're not, nobody else is living it and that's the thing to live. It is so different than being a white person. That's their supporting, that's right, because I don't claim to know how they, how black and brown people, feel, but I'm there to support and and to do everything in my in my Possible power to do. You know, and there's plenty of people that look up to me because of the work that I do, but I'm not looking for that. I just want. I want to help and and show them that not not all white people are bad. Hey, we do care, you know. I mean even in the tech center where we have kids, you know, some people, some people don't even talk to me because I'm white and they know what to expect and Because they have been by their families, because they do get that education from them saying be careful, and all those things. So I have to work extra hard to to Gain the trust of of these individuals. But I fucking do it, you know why? Because it's worth my time and it's their time and I and it's my mission and my goal to make sure that they know that I'm a safe place and they can come talk to me and I will protect them. I mean full disclosure.

Speaker 2: 38:44

I had to kick two little white kids out of tech center, out of the tech center programming over the summer, because they were calling Some of the black kids Racial slurs. And I'm like, and I and I broke it down to him. I said, look, the mom was devastated. She's like we don't teach that. Blah, blah, blah.

Speaker 2: 39:01

I don't know where they got it from, and you know, and I was like look, the fact of the matter is is that this facility was built Because this community is underprivileged and they don't have anything like this, and this is some. This is a place of where they can come and, and we pay for it. We feed them, we do all of these things, teach them all these new things, we have pathways, we have ways to get certifications and all that stuff. Why? Because it's not readily available for this community. All the time I and it's hard to get.

Speaker 2: 39:30

So we make it Accessible and we do that because we want to see these kids get their hands on things that they don't wouldn't normally do. You know, or or have. And so when I explained to this nine and ten year old, two young boys, and their mother, I said look, this place was created as a home for these children. You were a guest in their home and you made them feel unsafe, so that's why you are leaving and you are no longer working here. That's hard to do, but I had to do. Yeah, of course it is.

Speaker 1: 40:00

Well, it's hard to do, and what you can, I mean you can only hope. And then I'm gonna bring us back to the second part of this, which is the guns issue, where you can only hope is that those parents are then reinforcing that message, right, because you, of course, you had to do in the moment the thing that was most critical, which was create a safe environment.

Speaker 1: 40:19

Exactly those kids right who were being attacked in that way, and yet there's an opportunity then on the home front for them to create some learning situation so that those kids see and understand what, what and how they want to be different, moving forward right, in order to ensure that they are Kind of like I said earlier, working together to thrive alongside of each other right, and to be a part of a community together.

Speaker 2: 40:45

Well, yeah, and that is the whole point of having the conversation with the mom, and the mom was just devastated. You know, I'm gonna talk to them about a lot of others like you know, it again being a guest in somebody's home, but they're safe place, their only place, that they can come have fun and stuff like that not for everybody, but for a majority. Right, and that, and that was my message. It wasn't your bad person, it's just that you made people feel unsafe with your behavior. Yeah, there you go. You're still a. You're a good person, but you need to learn better ways to communicate and not do those kind of things.

Speaker 2: 41:13

So you know, and and let us know if you need any help.

Speaker 1: 41:18

We have, and learning a lesson this early right, hopefully, is a good thing. So the other piece of this and I'm cognizant of time is, you know, the, the guns issue, right, which is a huge yeah, and maybe we, you know, maybe we come back to this and another one, because sadly, there will be another opportunity. Maybe, we leave it alone and we come back to it because I feel like when we open that box it could. There's a lot there to unpack as well.

Speaker 2: 41:43

Yeah, I don't. I mean, my opinion on guns is is like I Feel like you could have. You know I'm not a gun owner, so and, and nor I mean I like to shoot guns at the shooting range. That's fun, you know, and stuff like that, but it could be a Mental break. It could be I had a bad day. It could be anything and somebody could take their gun that they own and go do whatever with it.

Speaker 2: 42:12

Yeah, and, and our screening process is like you know the whole Florida thing. Oh, we did everything we're supposed to do. Well, your state's different than the next state, so, whether they did it, what, what are those laws? What? How long did they have to wait? Where did you check? Where was the background? I think if we all had a standardized aspect across the board of Of that.

Speaker 2: 42:32

And then I, I personally think that there needs to be a mental health screen before anybody buys a gun, right, I mean, because there's so many people I mean, and well, regardless, that you can get guns on the street. So there's that too. You know people smuggle guns into the United States All day long, you know, and we catch maybe what? I don't even know the percentage of the people that we catch. So there's that.

Speaker 2: 42:56

But I just I Feel like, if you have a gun and you're responsible for it with ever, but it still it's the mental health thing, you know, or I just had a bad day, or whatever, I don't know how to think about the guns because, yeah, our brother Devon is a huge gun connoisseur, one of my best friends is a big gun connoisseur, but I trust that neither one of them Are gonna go and and do something crazy. But but then again, this guy's Father wouldn't had to go get a suicide. No, exactly like he didn't know this was happening on a Saturday afternoon or Friday, you know. So I mean, it could open up a whole another conversation. It will, but you, I don't know, I just I see it as a recreational thing, not a you know, or I don't know, I don't know. Guns are just crazy.

Speaker 1: 43:43

Well, I think like, yeah, there's so much there to unpack and I think you know, I think it's, it's there's. We're so far away in this country from there being no guns right Like we're so far away from that. Yeah, exactly For me. I don't even think that's a productive conversation to have. For me, it's more about you know the requirements to own a gun and the types of guns that need to be out there.

Speaker 2: 44:11

Because I just Nobody needs an assault rifle.

Speaker 1: 44:13

Right, I don't think anybody needs an assault rifle and I always think it's a little bit funny when people say, oh, but you know if we ever need to fight for the. You know they think about the militia argument and I'm like, if the government turns that bad, they have nuclear weapons were fucked.

Speaker 2: 44:28

Like it's like right.

Speaker 1: 44:30

It's, it's, it's bullshit stuff, but anyway. So, before we get on that road because, like I said, that could be another half hour 45 minutes why don't we leave it at that part of the conversation? And we can, we'll come back to the second part of it, but you know, I think that for me right now, in terms of in the spirit of leaving our listeners with some things to think about, you know, you're, you're, obviously we're both making it very clear, I think, how we feel about and the frustration and the anger and the just sadness that hate has been so built into, how this country was designed and, quite frankly, for the last six to seven years, has been flamed so much by really powerful people in this country who have made it okay to hate and, frankly, have promoted hatred as a motion that should be, you know, nurtured and should be driving us. That's the thing that makes me sad, and so, when I think about what we can do, I think that you know, of course it's taking a minute and and and taking a pulse on how you are showing up in the world every day and how you are ensuring that you are being intentional about striving to thrive alongside everybody around you, no matter where they come from, what they look like, you know all the things that they bring to the table. And then, second, because it's September and we'll be coming up on election in November, even though it's not the presidential election. So what is the type of election? It's these off years that are most influential in my mind. These are the years that you're electing people, like I said, to your city and town councils, to various really important committees, to judges, and God bless America, we are seeing how important the or how influential judges are in this country right now, more than we ever have before. And so you have time between now and November.

Speaker 1: 46:22

And if you're like me, I throw all the. I throw all those fucking flyers. I get away. I don't look at a single single political flyer. They are a waste of the paper they are printed on. I do my diligence now by going to the websites, and here in California it's literally on our state government website I'm sure every other state's the same where they literally have impartial breakdowns of who's who and who's running for what, and so the big things that they you know the platforms they're standing on and what are they saying about the big issues, at the very least, what you can do in terms of helping in this country is make yourself informed, right, and break the barriers that you have to make yourself informed, and so I think that's the biggest thing that you can do is really help you to be somebody who and you know, last but not least, start talking about it right, have those conversations with the people around you and don't shy away from them.

Speaker 2: 47:18

But it's a moment in time to educate yourself and then to make an impact on entire state or country. You know, with that impact and you know, like you said, like a lot of people, all my vote doesn't count, it does. It does on the state level, you're right, it does in. And we're passing it on because we're just blindly going yes, no, yes, no, this is fun, whatever. And not realizing what the hell we're voting for. You know, read everything and then make an educated decision. You know, guessing is only going to get us so far and this is where it's gotten us so far.

Speaker 1: 47:56

You know, like things being passed and and craziness happening, and he is kind of on that note, and we can wrap it up there that there's no magic they that's going to solve this. We are they. Right now, the voice we have is certainly is through we elect who vote for legislative action, etc. But at the end of the day, that's not them solving it or screwing it up, that's us, because we're the ones who put them there. We are the they. We are the they exactly. We are the people, right.

Speaker 1: 48:24

So so those are some things to think about you guys, and hopefully you saw again the shift in terms of how these fireside chats will be a little bit different. Thank you for coming along on the conversation with us because, yeah, a little bit of this is self serving, because it really is a chance for us to say out loud and unload some of the emotional response we're having to the shit that's happening in the world around us. So thank you for coming along with us and hopefully you heard some things that made you think a little bit more deeply, that made you want to go back and do a little bit more research and, if you just like all of our stuff, right, jane, if you have a topic or something that there's someone that you would suggest that you want to see us do a fireside chat specifically around. Reach out to us and let us know, because we would love to hear your recommendations. Otherwise, like do the use right, like subscribe to all the things, and yeah, we didn't talk about our intro song that you chose for us.

Speaker 2: 49:19

Oh, my God. Well, you know, it's the cult theme song. We had to bring it back to lamb chops and the song that doesn't end only because I had mentioned so, as I was coming out to visit so Chris, his best friend, is his roommate and she has several kids and he's Uncle Chris, you know, and so and they love him to death. This love him so much. But we face time all the time. So we've been talking and I get to know the kids and stuff and stuff and so they're all really excited. And one of the one of the daughters, london, was singing some annoying song and I was like, don't worry, london, when I get there and we're going to talk, we're going to learn a really annoying song that you can just sing all the time. And he knew exactly what I was like no, you're not, I go, you don't even know song, he's like lamb chops.

Speaker 1: 50:05

Oh my.

Speaker 2: 50:05

God, that's hilarious.

Speaker 1: 50:17

I'm going to go back to the show here, because the more downloads we have right, the more likely it is the show continues. People, thanks for listening and spending some time with us.

Speaker 2: 50:25

Yes, here Jane Bye.