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Divas That Care Network
My Daughter, My Valentine
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Brenda Pears is a transformational health and wellness expert, author, broadcaster, and former frontline RN. She has developed her three-part three theory to swell mastery and believes in integrative approaches to wellness and well-being. She is a Reiki master, a certified and a certified hypnotist. She hails from Ontario, Canada. Welcome, Brenda. Hi, I'm so happy to be here with you all. Thank you. Yes, we're happy to have you. So today we're talking about um the Divas at Care Book, Our Mothers, Our Daughters. And you wrote a chapter, I believe it was called My Daughter, My Valentine, am I right? That's exactly right.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
unknownRight.
SPEAKER_01So what a wonderful challenge it was.
SPEAKER_02Yes.
SPEAKER_01Oh, yeah. Why don't you tell us a little bit, mom, maybe maybe about the book, and maybe you can tell us about not necessarily what you wrote, but what inspired you to write what you wrote.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. So this book project, uh, you know, Candace Gish puts the best book projects together. And and uh this one, when I heard about it, I just had to jump right in there. I've always wanted to be part of um one of Candace's uh projects. And um, you know, so it was it was just a beautiful opportunity, and I shared it with a couple other gals too who are also in the book. And uh yeah, so a little bit of backstory. I'm I'm yeah, not giving away the secrets of the chapter, but yes, I was able to give birth to my daughter who is my um final child and was a surprise on Valentine's Day. So what a wonderful day to um celebrate in in remembrance what true love is and what motherhood reflects and and all that. But the backstory is that um I'm a mother of gr of of loss. And um so first time around um I uh gave birth to twins and found out just as my husband had a very serious farming accident and had a C1, C2 hangman's fracture. And so going through having a husband who was on the brink of death and finding out that you're expecting twins, you know, is is is like uh something I wouldn't wish on my worst enemy. Um but the stress of that caused my one son's heart to become deformed. And um so when I gave birth to my twins and then subsequently lost our our tw our son Kenny after open heart surgery a four and a half months, and um, you know, I I I had to find the courage to go on in life, and luckily I had a son who could resuscitate me because his needs were so paramount that I had to go on despite the pain of loss. Um and um and and endure and look at life a whole lot differently. So when I I subsequently, not long after I went back to work two weeks after I lost my son, that was the hardest, hardest, hardest thing I could ever do, along with going into the nursery and looking at the empty crib that would never be filled. So it wasn't long after that I decided that we were um we had to take medication to get pregnant in the first place. And I took the last of the clomid pills and subsequently got pregnant again with um and had another son 19 months from um the birth of my first son, surviving son. And I thought my life was filled, and that was it. And and I never, ever, ever, ever dreamed that naturally and on my own that I would have another child, and and this is my my daughter, the Valentine. So um that, and then you can read the chapter in the book and and um you know the journey, the love, the life, and and what it's meant to have that gift given to you again um when you thought you weren't gonna have any more. So that's basically um a bit about me and and my participation in the book, and I just look forward to you know it coming out in time for Mother's Day, how wonderful that is.
SPEAKER_01It's coming out on May 9th, which is I think the week before Mother's Day.
SPEAKER_02I I I can't keep track of the days anymore, but I think it's like Yeah, 13th of May is Mother's Day, so just in time, you know, to get the Kindle version and all that. But yeah, you know, the year's been whipping by, right? That's right.
SPEAKER_01Yeah, totally. I can't I cannot believe that we're in May. Like I'm you know, it's like super warm here in Edmonton and I'm like, it can't be May. Like it just can't be. And then it's warm. It's like it's not supposed to be warm. Right? So I'm all mixed up. So yeah, and the book is available.
SPEAKER_02It's cool here in Ontario and I'm mixed up because it's usually hot.
SPEAKER_01Ah, so maybe we got your weather and you got ours.
SPEAKER_02I think so. Wanna swap?
SPEAKER_01Yeah, it's all mixed up. The world is all mixed up today. So yeah. The book is called Our Daughters, Our Mothers. No, our mothers are daughters. I mixed up. Our Our Mothers Our Daughters. And it's available on Amazon and Barnes and Noble and chapters. Yay! I'm looking forward to it. I'm looking forward to reading, you know, your story. And I believe I don't know how many authors are in the book, but I know there's quite a few. So I'm really looking forward to, you know, um reading all the stories because I'm sure there'll be many like yours, you know, that come from devastating hardships, right? Because I'm sure losing your son was not I mean, you explained, it's not easy. That's right.
SPEAKER_02You know, and these book projects too are amazing because you know, we're indelibly a family now between the pages of this book. And that in itself is celebration because, you know, during these uh ensuing past years where there's been a lot of devastation, a lot of you know, heartache and and separation, you know, to create this new community between the pages of this book is like expanding your own family tenfold. Yes, for sure.
SPEAKER_01Because you you realize more and more there are more people that have a story similar to yours, you know, or something that you can somehow relate and resonate with, right? And that brings you closer, creating new community and family.
SPEAKER_02Exactly, because you know, too, you know, there's so many different divergent thoughts, you know. But if we can all come together in celebration of love and you know, have a common theme together that brings us together, it it transcends the trouble. It really does.
SPEAKER_01It really does. 100%. Um, have you have you had a chance to read any of the books on your own, other than your own chapter?
SPEAKER_02No, I haven't. I put in my order for the Kindle version on Amazon, and um, yeah, and and it will I will get it on on May the 9th when it launches, and I can't wait. I'll just, you know, download it onto my Kindle reader and and just enjoy every moment, find a nice sunny spot, hopefully it's warmer here then, and um, you know, sit in my beautiful garden amongst the daffodils and the tulips blooming and the green grass and just really luxuriate and celebrate what motherhood and daughterhood is all about.
SPEAKER_01I love that. That sounds so awesome. Like I want to go sit in my backyard right now because I don't have the book to read. I know. I I have one one more question for you. What would you so if if your kid came to you and said, Mom, we want to celebrate you, what would you like, how would you like to celebrate yourself for Mother's Day? What would be your answer?
SPEAKER_02Well, as a mother who's had to let her children's wings soar, the ones in in BC, one's in Montreal, and one is up in Pembroke area. Um, closest one is six hours away right now. Uh, just to have the three of them and their families and and just be together in that garden celebrating together would be such a dream come true right now. Um with all my heart and soul. Um, you know, it's my what I would love to have happen, but you know what? I will get FaceTime visits and I will have telephone calls that day, and and I will feel their love because they're no matter where you go as a mother, you carry your children in your heart always. And that's that's been scientifically proven. Because did you know, and this is a fact, did you know that you when we carry our children, we think it's a one-way, we've always been told it's a one-way valve, everything goes through the umbilical cord to the child. But the reality is stem cells from each of your children come back into your body, and that's what creates that mother connection with your children. It they their stem cells implant inside the mother. That's that indelible link that we have been blessed with. And and so I know I'm carrying them all with me. All four of my children are with me.
SPEAKER_01Ever everywhere you go, yeah.
unknownYeah.
SPEAKER_01That's a that's a feeling though. Like just knowing that, like it just warms my heart, right? Knowing that no matter where my children go, we will always have that tie.
SPEAKER_02Absolutely. And each and every one of us have that.
SPEAKER_01Right, right, exactly. And I like that there's no one else on this earth that can have that tie with them. I know that's selfish of me, but I love that that's how it is. Right? Because they're my children.
SPEAKER_02They're my babies. Exactly. And when you're a mother, that's the way you want it to be. You always want to come come, you know, have that strong connection and know that yes, you can give them wings and you give them life, you give them love, and you give them wings. And then they go off and explore and they they meet their partners and they start to have their children. And um, my oldest has two beautiful grandch uh children that are my grandchildren so far. And um and it's just such a gift to see the generations rolling on and their love coming back to you as well.
SPEAKER_01I believe that. I do believe that. I remember when my kids were born, the the way my parents loved them. I was like, seriously, where were you when I was little? But I I get it, I get it. Like it's it's totally different, right? It's like a completely different it's a different part of life, right? When you have kids of your immense work grandchildren, you get to enjoy because the work is not yours, it's not your job.
SPEAKER_02That's right, that's right. You you know, and our job is to kind of um help to lighten the load for our children so that they can have a little bit more of that enjoyment as well, you know, and and um it's such a sacred gift, it really is from the divine. For sure.
SPEAKER_01Yes, I agree one hundred percent. Well, thank you so much for joining me today. Is there anything you would like our listeners to know about um or you know, like if you have some advice or something you can say to our listeners, um maybe about the book or even just about Mother's Day coming up here pretty soon?
SPEAKER_02Oh, absolutely, would love to. Well, as I say, um having lost a son, um, I think that um one of the the one of the greatest things is is that your life is never the same after, sadly so, but rightly so, and um the trajectory of life changes. So um it's all about finding joy in today and knowing that even when motherhood turns to the saddest point where you lose a child, the love never ends on this side or the other side, and a piece of you is in heaven. So this Mother's Day, give someone, if you know some mom who's had challenges and such, give them an extra hug and let them know how appreciative you are of the of their strength and courage to endure and become the mother they are, because it is such a sacred gift. And thank you so much for having me on your show.
SPEAKER_01Oh, thank you so much for joining me. So again, the book Our Mothers, Our Daughters, available on Amazon Barnes and Noble's end chapters, and it will be launching May 9th.