Divas That Care Network
The #DivasThatCare movement is a dynamic force of positivity and progress. It's a collective of empowered women united by a shared vision: to pave the way for future generations. These women are not only breaking barriers—they’re also committed to equipping the next generation with the tools, resources, and confidence to lead with purpose.
By discovering and defining your purpose, you unlock the power to uplift those around you and contribute to a better world—every single day.
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Divas That Care Network
Public Speaking Secrets for Entrepreneurs
Come and listen to Host Tina Spoletini chat with her special guest Leisa on her podcast Confidence in Bloom.
Leisa Reid is the Founder of Get Speaking Gigs Now and CEO of the International Speaker Network. With a mission to transform public speaking into a soul-filling business growth strategy, she's the go-to "Talk Doula,” helping entrepreneurs create signature talks and secure bookings for a lifetime. Having rocked over 600 stages, authored 7 books, and graced the airwaves as a podcast host, Leisa shares her proven strategies with others so they can make an impact on the world.
When she's not empowering entrepreneurs, Leisa embraces her roles as a mom, a wife, and a devoted dog-lover, all while indulging her passion for live rock concerts and dance fitness classes.
On this episode, she will share the #1 secret she uses to get speaking gigs!
• Every speaker has a unique "fingerprint" or DNA based on their business, personality, location, and expertise
• Addressing your "speaker's kryptonite" - past experiences that trigger speaking anxiety - is crucial for building confidence
• The most powerful talks come from embodying your message rather than memorizing a script
• Today's audiences prefer authentic, prepared speakers over perfectly polished presentations
• The secret to booking speaking gigs is connecting with other speakers in collaborative communities
• When your message becomes more important than your fear, you'll move beyond avoidance
• Practice is essential for confident delivery, but avoid reading from notes which changes your voice cadence
• Virtual speaking offers significant time-saving advantages while still allowing you to reach global audiences
For more Divas That Care Network Episodes visit www.divasthatcare.com
It's Divas that Care Radio Stories, strategies and ideas to inspire positive change. Welcome to Divas that Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone. This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations. To find out more about the movement, visit divasthatcarecom. After the show. Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
Speaker 2:A strong, positive sense of self-esteem is your first step to anything you wish to accomplish. Yet too often we attempt to leave our comfort zone. We have that chorus of inner critics inside our heads the itty-bitty, shitty committee, as I like to call mine whispering self-sabotaging doubt and untrue trash talk in our ear. Confidence in Bloom celebrates women who rise above and move beyond any self-doubt and old, outmoded limiting beliefs. Women who have reconnected with who they truly are that gorgeous, talented, fabulous gift to the world who deserve recognition and unconditional love. My hope is that their insights will inspire all of you to do the same. You know, the most beautiful thing any woman can wear is confidence. Here, with the Divas that Care website, I, tina Spoletini, speak with women now secure in their own self-confidence so we can learn from their stories of how they found themselves and became the magnificent role models they are to us all now. Today I'm chatting with Lisa Reed.
Speaker 2:Lisa is the founder of Get Speaking Gigs Now and CEO of the International Speaker Network, with a mission to transform public speaking into a soul-fulfilling business growth strategy. She's the go-to talk doula, helping entrepreneurs create signature talks and secure bookings for a lifetime, having rocked over 600 stages, authored seven books and graced the airways. As a podcast host, lisa shares her proven strategies with others so they can make an impact on the world. When she's not empowering entrepreneurs, lisa embraces her roles as a mom, a wife and a devoted dog lover, all while indulging her passion for live rock concerts and dance fitness classes. On this episode, she will share the number one secret she uses to get speaking gigs. Welcome, lisa, so excited to be here. Tina, oh good, I'm so excited. Okay, so I want to know. You're called a talk doula. You wrote your book behind you, I see. Get Speaking Gigs Now.
Speaker 3:Tell us more, us more about that well, I started speaking like professionally in 2013 and I had the pleasure of having a talk already created for me because I was speaking for a company, like on behalf of a company, and I had my offer and everything like that. But I also started a network of speakers because I thought, oh, this is a little hard to do it by myself and so, even though I'd had a lot of successes, I booked like 83 talks in my first year. I didn't want to do it all by myself. So what I wasn't expecting from the network was that they would all ask me for help with their speaking issues and things like that, and I started to realize, oh, actually, you have something that is different.
Speaker 3:It's a need that people have where they have something they really want to say, but they just can't like put it into either onto paper or like in slides, like they can't decide what am I going to actually focus on? There's too much. It's kind of like taking a like a brilliant movie, and how do I edit it down? And so I started helping people create their talks. I call it get your talk ready to rock, and I started teaching them how. I was continually getting booked Cause I get booked, you know, booked hundreds and hundreds of times without cold calling, and I think they wanted to know how to do that too.
Speaker 2:So Okay, so that's like super cool. So when you said you started like you had your program, what was it exactly Like? Were you teaching people how?
Speaker 3:to speak right from the get-go, or were you doing something else? No, I was working. So if we back up way, way back in the nineties, I got my bachelor's and master's degree in speech communication and I even taught at Cal State Fullerton University, which is where I got my degrees when I was in my 20s. Then we fast forward a few decades. Here I am speaking for a personal development company, and then I started a speaker network. Speakers started asking me for help and I didn't have a company to help speakers at that point. But I was like wait a second, everyone's always asking me for help. It finally dawned on me and many people had told me I should do something with speaking. I just was busy, had excuses, didn't take the call and then one day I realized this is what I'm supposed to be doing. So that was in 2017. So it was kind of like backwards, okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, and that's, and sometimes that's how it works, right. Sometimes we have to go through certain things in life before it it actually reality, really hits us. So now you know getting speaking gigs, you help people get on stage.
Speaker 3:What I do is I, yes, but not by doing it for them. I show them how they can do it. Here's the one thing I think that's misunderstood. If you, you know Google search and things like that you're trying to be a speaker and you think like, oh my gosh, okay, there's this magical unicorn formula that I can go do and I'm going to copy how someone else does it and I'll get on stages.
Speaker 3:What I have found, that magical formula, is actually unique to every single person. It's almost like your DNA, like your own fingerprint of what speaking looks like for you, based on your business, your personality, where you live, what your topics or expertise is, on what you want to do Do you want to travel, do you want to stay at home, Like all these things? What kind of audiences do you want to have? There's all these different components that really make a unique fingerprint speaker plan for somebody. So I help people clear out, like what is that for me? What would that unique fingerprint plan be for me? And then now I know what to say yes to, then now I know what to go for, then now I know how to have the conversation, to get booked and things like that.
Speaker 2:Okay, okay, so that I like the answer to that question. I know that there are other questions involved in that, so what I'm getting, though, is having someone else write your speech or your presentation isn't always the answer.
Speaker 3:Oh, I don't think so at all. No, no, I think for me, and it depends, like, if you're the president of the United States, yes, you're going to need a speech writer. You know things like that. There's certain instances in which, yes, totally appropriate, but when it's something that's your expertise and you have your own unique way of doing it, or you know, like you're a coach, it's like, okay, you have your own perspective. That's different. That makes you you and makes people want to work with you. We want to pull.
Speaker 3:That's where I think, oh, let's pull the brilliance out. That's the talk doula part, like you're birthing a baby. But when you birth a baby, you usually not always you usually have a team around you. You have support and like helping you through the process, making it easy so that your baby comes out nice and healthy and easily. So that's how I consider it.
Speaker 3:In my world, everyone can have a baby men, women, you know, any age you can have a baby. It's your, you're going to birth your brilliance and that'll come out in a talk. So I don't help them, I don't like write it for them, but I listen and I intuit and I watch their verbal cues Like what are they excited about. And then, oh my gosh, okay, now we're onto something, now we're going to get that baby born and then that parent, if you will, the speaker person can then start to raise it, nurture it, like, okay, what are the slides going to look like? How am I going to deliver it? What quotes do I want to put in? And, you know, add all the special things, and they're supporting them along the way with that too.
Speaker 2:I like that. It's almost like you know you've got a dress. Right, I've got a dress. Now what do I need to do to the dress to make everybody listen to everybody, look at this dress and really catch it? Now I've heard, and I want you to speak a little bit on this when you have a presenter, like a speaker, they need to speak to like what is it? A hundred percent of the people, a hundred percent of the time. So you need to touch on all the different ways people learn.
Speaker 3:I see what you're saying. Yeah, at first you had me lost, but now I got it. Yes, so that is something most people don't realize. Like, people think in words, pictures and feelings. So if your whole in fact, I have some feedback I'm giving to one of my clients today it's a lot of words. I'm like we need more pictures in there, because, although I think in words and I love that that we're missing the feelings and we're missing the picture. So we want to make sure and capture every, everyone along the way, and some people are going to want statistics 25% of the people are going to want statistics.
Speaker 2:So that sounds crazy to me, but I get it Right Cause I know and I and for me it's mostly men, but I have heard women say it too. They like numbers like that, like you know it's not gender based.
Speaker 3:I think it's stereotypically gender based. I think it. I think it's just certain people think in facts and figures, that's, your accountants, your CPAs, your payroll people, your attorneys, things like that. Again, this is a very blanket statement. It's not true for every single accountant or whatever, but it makes sense. We need people, like in an organization, you need people to be tracking so we don't spend all the money. We need people to go like no-transcript, right, right, exactly, and that makes a village. So you know that all those people are in your audience.
Speaker 2:And that makes a village. So you know that all those people are in your audience, right, and, like, I like how you said it takes a village, right, because having a baby, raising a baby, takes a village right, and so I like to look at my business now as my new baby, now that my babies have grown up and are, you know, doing their own thing. Right, this is my new baby. This is my new era, so to speak. Right, my new phase of life, and I like that, and so we need people like you to help us promote that business. Promote. You know what we're doing now. Right Now, I don't consider myself a speaker, right, I know that I have this podcast, but, in all honesty, I don't do like I'm here to help you present you, right. I'm interested to know, though, how, like, if I came to you and I said, okay, I want you to help me promote my business, right, and I want to do it through podcasting, what, where do you go from there?
Speaker 3:Through podcasting. Um, yeah, so when I think of it, I think of, like, public speaking and podcasting are similar-ish, like they're in the same realm. I guess when I work with people and creating that talk, for example, it usually can then translate into podcast topics when you're guesting on podcasts. So there's hosting and there's guesting. There's two different ways that you can approach it. Right, if you're looking for your specific, are you asking for you specifically as a host, or you as a guest, or both? As a guest, as a guest? Yeah, so for me, I think, like it's, I love both. I love being on podcasts and I love speaking.
Speaker 3:I think podcasting, guesting, is very powerful and it's a way to stay evergreen and it's a way to, you know, go into other people's audiences that you would never have run across right and help it. So it helps spread the seeds. But you don't know when the person's going to listen, or if they're going to listen, what are they going to take action? It's easier to not take action because they're not right in front of you when you're speaking. They usually more tend to take action right away, whether it's, you know, get a free download of something or whatever that. Whatever that thing is that you're asking for people to do so. There's different strategies for you. I guess if you're going to guest on podcasts, I would say, like, have your clear learning points, just like you would in a talk, and tell stories and make sure you have a clear call to action. All those kinds of things can help you generate clients or, you know, add to your list. I've gotten clients and people onto my list through podcast guesting as well.
Speaker 2:I love that. I love that, and so I mean it's going to be different for every person, right? Like you know what I want to say, as as a guest on a podcast might be different from what you know, even what the host is looking for, you know, depending on the listeners. And you know, because I would think with podcasting it's going to be a little bit more narrowed down right, because I listen to podcasts that I want to listen to, right? You know, whereas I go to a networking event, everyone is there for different reasons, and so they're going to listen to whoever's speaking, but it may, what I am speaking about may not pertain to them, although I want to maybe entertain them right?
Speaker 3:Yeah, potentially yeah. So what I do is so if I answer the question, if I like, kind of, instead of answering your question, gave a comment on podcast, using podcasting as a speaker. Let's just say that. Let's say you're going to use podcasting as a speaker and you already have your, your learning points dialed in. You can take segments of your talk and utilize that in terms of what you would want to share on a podcast.
Speaker 3:You're not going to do the whole thing. You're not going to like give a you know, 30 minute talk on a podcast. That's ridiculous. But you can then have conversations about those types of points or questions or share stories, and that you can also reverse, engineer it to make questions so that, like when a podcast host says, oh, what are your questions that you want me to ask you, you can shift it so that you are talking about the same thing. But I think it's really good for newer speakers to be on podcasts because it allows you to put the words out there without the pressure of everyone staring at you or all the spotlight on you. You can have a conversation. It doesn't have to be as tight or professional, you know what I mean. You have a little bit more leeway with it.
Speaker 2:I think so too, and it's more real right Like the it's as a guest, the more like you come out right as a guest, like you get to be you right Without all the pressure of presenting properly.
Speaker 3:Well, hopefully you're still you when you're on stage, but yes, when you're newer it can be more nerve wracking. All that can dissipate, as you do, just like anything. As you do it more and more times you're like oh and this? I'm glad you brought that up because we're going for unconscious competence, where the body embodies the messaging, the wording, the stories, so that you can calm down. Your nervous system calms down and then all of a sudden, instead of worrying about yourself and worrying about being nervous and worrying about messing up and all those things, you're just there to deliver. You're like I got this. I know this stuff inside and out. It's all good. They can ask me anything, it's not going to throw me off. The lights could go out, not going to throw me off. All those things like and that you know it comes with experience. It's kind of like do you remember those commercials where they would say how many licks to get to the middle of the Tootsie Pop?
Speaker 2:No but, oh yeah.
Speaker 3:From the eighties or seventies or something like that. So there's no answer, like we don't know how many licks it takes to get to the center of the Tootsie Pop, but when you do it enough and you actually go through it, you're going to get there. So that's what we're going for. And you can't get conscious, unconscious confidence without moving through the other stages. Right, yeah, and that's what confidence is right.
Speaker 2:The more you do it, the better you get, and it doesn't matter what we're doing Right, but the more you do it, the better you're going to get at it. And if you're not getting better at it, you don't feel it, you're not embodying it.
Speaker 3:Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah, yeah. So tell me, I have to know you. You made a comment of you know a little while back I was speaking. So I love talking right. Having a conversation like this to me comes more than natural, like I feel like I was born. Talking to people, getting in front of a microphone and speaking to a room does not come naturally to me. Now, I mean, on Zoom, I feel at the beginning of a conversation or a talk I feel nervous and I'm all like I don't want to do this. Right, and as I'm talking I do sort of settle into the nerves, like you said, right, but I don't, I wouldn't say I enjoy it. So I want you to like talk on that a little bit. Tell me, you know how I can make not just myself, but even for our listeners. How do we make ourselves more comfortable with the presenting part of our talk?
Speaker 3:Oh, there's so many things we could unwrap there. Well, one is something I call speaker's kryptonite, which is, I mean, I'm not talking about like deep phobias of public speaking, which I do understand. A lot of people have that, and not everyone was tapped to be a speaker first of all. So if someone would hate it or doesn't want to do it or would rather get a root canal, no worries, you know, no pressure. Don't do that, don't torture yourself, right? But when you're telling me what you're telling me, there sounds like there's something, there's a desire there and there's an act, there's a natural gift.
Speaker 3:Like you said, I love talking, I love engaging with people. You are in a profession where people could really benefit from your services. They could benefit from learning more about the power of what you do, right, and because you're going to work with people pretty intimately, so it's kind of it's really an opportunity for you. But I also am a big fan of entrepreneurs doing what they absolutely love and not doing something that you like, hate. Okay, so just putting that out there. I'm not married to anything.
Speaker 3:What I would usually start with is if someone was coming to me and they're like I really want to speak, I think I like I love talking, like I want to do this, but I'm just a little like I have a little anxiety about it or just like I get nervous. I don't like that feeling. We are going to have a speaker's kryptonite conversation and that speaker's kryptonite, which is like the thing that could kill Superman kryptonite it's. You know, it's fictional, but there's something going on that's attached to the past, that your body like you said I don't want to do this Like my body's, like I don't want to do this. There's something and we don't need to go on air with it, but there's some experience that happened and it could have been completely innocent.
Speaker 3:It could be just like there's so many reasons in our childhood that we get embarrassed, humiliated, you know, and we go, and our body, our system's like never again, we're never going to do that. Like it could be the teacher calling you up to the chalkboard and doing a problem that you don't know how to do. It could be kids snickering. It could be something at home, like it could be just something completely on your own. So there's no, we're not doing a blame game here, but we do want to uncover like, what was that? Does anything come to mind Is anything like oh, that was that time, you know, I messed up at the school play. And then our system just says nope, we're not doing that ever again.
Speaker 3:And then it can create a physical reaction, which is what you're kind of having, like this, like, oh, your nervous system is like no, no, no, no, no, don't go in there. And but you've, you're an adult. Now we're going to assume that something happened, that you know whatever, something happened a long time ago that you're still experiencing when it comes to speaking in front of other people and you've now go like well, you know, actually, I think I'm going to be okay, I'm safe, I don't enjoy it, but I'm going to be okay. So learning more about whatever that instance was or maybe it was a several instances can help not to dwell on it but just to go oh yeah, I'm okay now, like I'm, I'm an adult, I'm, I know what I'm talking about, I got this. And the more you can calm, almost like soothe, that part of you think of it as a little kid the less anxiety you'll have and the more enjoyability you'll have when you go and actually speak to people and the more you do it again. That that also helps to calm the Right.
Speaker 2:Right, and I like that.
Speaker 2:You said that, because that's what I do in my coaching is I would release that memory, right or not, maybe not the memory, because the memories are stuck with us, but then.
Speaker 2:But I would release the feeling of fear that that whole you know the emotions behind that memory of I messed up and there were people snickering or there were, you know all the things. Although when you said that, I'm like I don't remember there ever being, but you know I do remember wanting to go up at the front of the classroom to write my answers on the board. I remember that, right, and I'm not an attention seeker, like it's not like I was loving the attention, right, but but when you said there was a desire to speak, I'm like I do not have a desire to speak, right, I mean that when I first started my business, my business coach said now you need to get speaking gigs. And I was like, for what? I don't need to speak, right, I just want to bring these people in, I want to help these women. I don't want to speak in front of, you know, a room full of women, and but now that you say that, I'm like I still don't have the desire, but I want people to know what I know.
Speaker 3:I want people to know that I'm powerful. That was the second part I was going to say. So first, you want to like, treat the, like, the, the what's causing the resistance, right. And then sometimes because and I say this because, again, I'm not talking about like deep, deep phobias, which I don't think you have it's like this is just like. I don't really enjoy that part.
Speaker 3:But when our message gets bigger than that, than our desire, right, it's like, oh, the message that you have the people that can be helped by learning more about you, when that gets stronger, all of a sudden it's like okay, I'm just getting over myself, I'm going to just go. You know, I got to get to the people, like there's people who need to hear what I have to offer because it can help their life. That's different and that's what I call brilliance hoarding right, where it's like we're literally like sitting on our brilliance Cause, like we. You know I don't want to do that and I'm like Lisa, get over yourself. People need to hear you and they're not all going to be in your in, you know, in the audience. So there's thousands of people on Facebook and you know the millions of people, but so, whatever that is, that's like kind of getting in the way is probably the area that you need to work on the most as an entrepreneur. Oh, the thing I'm avoiding is the thing that I need to be doing.
Speaker 2:Yeah, we're like that and isn't that like how life works? Right, like what?
Speaker 1:what I'm avoiding, yeah yeah, yeah, exactly well, I love that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I was gonna ask you about that, like when you, when you had that memory of like, oh, I want to, I want to go put my answers up. Did you go and do that, or did you? You did Okay.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and I, and the thing is, I knew, I knew that people were most likely judging me because I was judging people. Okay, right, like I, and I know that, like, I know that that's, you know, a bad, a negative quality. I'm going to say, right, but it's also human nature, right, right and so. But I didn't judge people in that oh like, oh, my God, I can't believe she's wearing that or, you know, she didn't comb her hair. I was judging about her, like what she was doing at the moment, right. And so for me, I was like, even if I'm wrong, like, even if I'm putting the wrong answers up here, I'm going to be corrected. Yes, the whole class is going to see that I'm wrong, but that's how I'm going to learn it, right.
Speaker 2:And so it was almost like I was pushing myself to be uncomfortable. I don't know where that comes from, because that's not who I am today. Right, and when I see people are like that, I really am like, I admire that right, because I think that's how we go forward in life. Right Is by being uncomfortable and doing it anyway. Right, I don't live that anymore, I don't. Obviously, life got in the way and probably overshadowed all the good parts of that right, the good parts of that Right. But I mean and that's that's a me issue, that's something that I need to look at, right, but I know that that's how I was in school, right. And so when you say that you know when your message is stronger than your avoidance, or whatever you want to call that right, that's when you know that you've stepped forward.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that's why I feel like you're kind of like circling that, circling that newness of of being. Yeah, and I mentioned that because I know you, probably when you and I spoke, we're speaking about speaking Cause, that's like you're. You know, we're talking about what I do, but if you really didn't want to do it at all, I don't know if you would have brought it up.
Speaker 2:Well, and I mean now that you know, it's come out in second in our conversation here, which was not my plan in the first place. Right, I have I wouldn't call it a desire, but I'm definitely more open, right, Like I'm feeling a lot more open towards it, Whereas when you and I spoke I don't know how long ago was two months ago I was like no, I really don't want to do that, Right.
Speaker 2:So, obviously I've done some growth in the meantime, right, and I and so I. Maybe we should talk about that too, like if someone comes to you and says, lisa, I really don't want to do like speaking or presenting in front of a group, what are my other options? Because I need to get my voice out there and I want people to know I'm here to help them and this is how I can help them. What, what are our?
Speaker 3:options. Yeah, usually when people come to me, they are like like I've always wanted to do this, I know I could do it. I just you know. So it's like they don't usually come to me going like, what else can I do besides that? But I mean, podcasting is that's a great avenue for you. You enjoy it, you love it, you love talking to people. So that's certainly one. Videos is another one. Lives I mean, when I started speaking, facebook live wasn't even invented, like you think. Like YouTube has not even been around that long, so it might be videos, something like that.
Speaker 3:If you're a writer, maybe it's blogging or you know some other type of article writing. So writing a book is obviously great. I have a book. I've been in seven, eight other books as well, but that's a little bit different way to market yourself. So typically I'll look at the whole thing and I'll say, okay, what's your business? What do you want? Why do you want it? How are you going to make money? Like, what's the best way for you to get people in the door to what you're trying to do? And then we go from there. But for me, my lane is speaking.
Speaker 2:So but for me, my lane is speaking Right right, and with that I mean that includes that's not just getting up on a stage. Right Speaking has a lot to do with speaking.
Speaker 3:It can be speaking virtually, which is what I do most of the time now I speak. I used to speak pretty much 100% in person until 2020. And then we moved to virtual and now I speak virtually all the time. I speak in other states and countries really easily with, you know, my flip flops and my, my sweats on it's awesome my yoga pants.
Speaker 2:Yes, I know that's one thing 2020 has brought to us. Right is we can be comfortable, still look professional or sound professional, right, but wearing the flip-flops and the yoga pants? Right, I mean, I don't wear my shoes in the house, but, yeah, yeah, I get it. Um, uh, I now I lost my question.
Speaker 3:Well, I'll share a couple other things while you're yes, please, you're finding it. One thing that I I really uh appreciate about virtual speaking is the amount of time it saves me. I used to, you know, be driving on the freeways and doing all these things that I'd show up to the event, you know, way ahead of time, stay till the end, and that would my whole day is gone. I can't really do stuff when I'm driving. I you know I can't be checking emails or anything like that, and so now, when I shifted to virtual and I do speak in person by request in my local area, I'll do that but now I can literally just click a button, be speaking in a completely different country or state, and then click the button and be done different country or state, and then click the button and be done, and I have all the rest of the day to do whatever I want, and then I can get instant trickle of leads coming in all the time.
Speaker 3:I think that's one of the biggest issues like coaches have, which I think a lot of your clients or your listeners probably are in some kind of coaching space is you want to help people but you're like but how do I convince them or how do I get them to believe that I really want to help them and that I really want to do this? And speaking is one of those nice ways and for me, I find it very fulfilling because you're teaching I consider myself a teacher disguised as a speaker and that I could really relate to what you're saying. I don't need to be the center of attention. I also don't need to be the center of attention, but if I know the answer and I know that I have some information that's going to help people, I have no problem being at the front of the room, right, and I think that's that same thing that you have. You're like, and also you said if I'm wrong, that's fine, I'll learn from the experience. That's um, the courage like.
Speaker 3:Not everybody is okay with that. Some people will crumble under that, that's fine. But when you're a speaker, you're like you know what? I've got some really valuable stuff I can share with you. You're gonna benefit from it. Let's get started. Boom, boom, boom, organized and that's all you need to do.
Speaker 2:That's it and that, yeah. And also, too, it's not really necessarily. You know, like, if you need the confidence, right, but not the confidence in the speaking and the presenting, you need to have the confidence in what you're sharing, absolutely, like. If you know, like, okay, so this is the big thing.
Speaker 2:Um, I was in a course not too long ago and what they said was, when you can talk to, you know for hours right on what you know, that's what your talk is about, that's what you need to be sharing, right, and so a lot of me and this is a confidence issue for me I know I can talk about my kids for days, right, I have so much to share about my kids, about parenting them, being the parent you know what I've learned from them. You know, when it comes to my business, I'm still in the learning phase of you know, not all of it, because I mean I do feel like it's super strong and super powerful, but it's I don't know how to express it Like I've been doing it for years, because I haven't been doing it for years, right, right.
Speaker 2:So let I'd like to know how you help people like me that are, you know, in the new phase of their business, and how they can share what they know and what they want to know and what what they want others to know.
Speaker 3:Yeah, that's what I'll do in the do, when we're talking about the talk doula, when I help someone get their talk ready to rock, we literally do that and I say, listen, you can actually just kind of chill for a second. I'm gonna take the driver's seat and I'm gonna ask you questions and your brilliance will literally start to come out. And I'm recording all this like I'm watching. I'm. I'm usually typing while I'm like it's you get to come into my matrix, right, I'm in flow, and then at one point we have enough to go okay, now we've got something. We've got three. We I like to work with threes like we've got three main areas that we're going to cover, whether it's a concept, an exercise, a point, a lesson, a model, like whatever, everyone's got a different, different thing, and then you'll start to light up, you'll be like oh my gosh, that's exactly what I've been trying to say this whole time.
Speaker 3:Like, and you're like yeah, that's because what the switch? Exactly what you said. So I'm just really there to catch your brilliance and pull it out and you have enough, you have plenty. So don't be dissuaded by your years of experience. And let's say, we created a talk today because that's how long it takes me. It's like we do it.
Speaker 3:In a couple hours, we literally come up with your title description, your learning points, your call to action. So you have it all laid out. You're like now you can go do your slides and all that stuff. But we know you could get booked with that information and you would feel confident. Because you're like oh, that's what I've been saying this whole time. I've been always talking about this kind of thing. Everyone needs to know this. This is so cool. Then that will help that. And I'm not. I'm not Tina, you don't need to do this, but I'm just saying, like, as an example, that's how people feel, because then they're not worried.
Speaker 3:Oh, what do I talk about? I don't know what I would say. What would I? What are they going to ask me what I speak about? Oh, my gosh, what am I going to tell them. So we need to just erase all that and take action, put a stake in the ground. And what's exciting is, a year from now, two years from now, three years, five, 10 years from now, your talks will evolve and change. Because you are going to evolve and change and you're like, oh, I actually want to shift it now, but then you have the cadence. Then you know, okay, I'm just going to swap this learning point out where I'm going to create a whole new one. But you know you've done it a bunch of times, so all this nervousness kind of just floats away.
Speaker 2:Right and I love that. So I mean I'm using myself as an example, but I mean yeah, clearly, clearly I mean this isn't just, it's not about me, right, like.
Speaker 3:I was like yeah.
Speaker 2:So I was like yeah, it doesn't mean you have to, but exactly, and I don't want to pull like clients out, and you know I don't want to like, I don't want to feel, make anyone feel like I'm, you know, but I mean obviously, I mean my business is fairly new, right, especially with the new coaching, and so, yeah, like I, I mean I know there's learning steps, but I mean the truth is, when you have a passion right, when you have the passion for what you're doing, you can speak about it. Right, I catch myself all the time telling people the things that I know and I know it. You know like I catch myself going oh my god, like here I'm people the things that I know and I know it. You know like I catch myself going oh my God, like here I'm telling the world and I don't even realize that I'm telling the world, right, and so that's, I mean that's the confidence in what you're doing as well, right, yeah, so I have a question for you.
Speaker 3:I wonder if your close friends or your family, your kids, would be able to say like they're like oh, mom always talks about this, she always teaches us that, that, that, that, that. That's probably where some real great nuggets are. Oh, absolutely.
Speaker 2:My kids could tell you like they'll roll their eyes and we'll say oh, she never ends, right? She never stops. I'm always trying to coach them through life without coaching them, right, so I'll give them little tidbits. My daughter's really good, she's super open, open-minded, and so she'll take the tidbits. My boys, on the other hand, are like please, I don't believe in the coaching stuff, right?
Speaker 3:Well, you might be surprised how old are your, how old are your sons? They're 23 and 18. Okay, it's so interesting. So I started doing some personal development, more personal development work, when my daughter was around six years old, and she is so. I always tell her she has more EQ than most adults will ever have. And I heard her on the phone one time with her friend and she's like, okay, so well, why do you feel that way? Or like, tell me more about that? I'm like, oh, my girl, and she she'll say she'll go. Mom, my friends aren't as good of listeners as you. Like, you do, do that thing that you do with I. Need you to do the thing that you do, mom.
Speaker 2:Well, you know they okay, so we learn them. I think we learn from them more than what they learned from us, but they are. They, monkey, see, monkey, do right. They might not realize what they're doing Right, but they, they follow us because they, we model for them.
Speaker 3:Right, and so your sons are probably, even though they might not admit it. I would imagine that their relationships, you know where, their work relation, all the personal development, personal, professional relationships they have will be improved because of you. Oh, I agree, I mean, I don't, I don't see it right?
Speaker 2:Like I don't see it, and they would never admit it, right, because boys, that's okay, especially when it comes to their mom, right, their dad maybe right, but not their mom, and I think that's normal. And I'm totally not like offended by that Because, at the end of the day, I am their role model, whether they want to admit it or not, right? We all learn from our parents. So, yeah, is there anything that you could tell our listeners that they need to know? Um, but it's not like you know what, what's how, I don't know how to say it. Every speaker needs to know something about what they're speaking about and how they're speaking, but not everyone has to live it in their daily life. What, what would you say? That is?
Speaker 3:um, I, I think practicing is really under. I still practice when I have a new talk. I mean when I've given a talk 50 times, no, I don't practice. But when I've given it zero times, yes, I definitely practice. Or maybe if I've only given it once, like when I, when I shift talks, like I have a new one that I'm developing for an association that isn't my normal audience, so I will, I know months in advance, so I'm writing it now I haven't even started with slides yet, but then it'll be slides, then I'll start tweaking it, then I'll say it out loud, then I'll say it out again, then I'll say it aloud again and I practice, practice, practice until I feel like, whew, okay, we're in there. Now I already know if I don't give that talk a hundred times, I don't know if it's ever going to deeply seep into my conscious, unconscious, confidence. But I am going to do my best.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean at the end, like anybody else right, and and isn't that all we ask for? All I ask for is you give me your best, you know, and whatever that is that day, that's fine Right, but you know, give me your best. Yeah, absolutely, I love that. Thank you so much for that. Is there anything else that you want our listeners to know?
Speaker 3:one secret to a steady stream of speaking referrals. And to keep it short and sweet, I would say if that is a desire that you have as a listener, you're like I would like to be speaking, but I don't know how to get started. I don't know where I would go, I don't know how I would get speaking engagements and I don't want to cold call or Google search or chat, gpt search. Then I would recommend start hanging out with some other speakers and know that they are on the same journey as you and they can be your biggest allies. That's why we have the International Speaker Network, because we literally converge together, because everyone is there to support each other. Everyone is there to support each other, and so my biggest secret that's helped me from cold calling is to hang out with other speakers and a collaborative community.
Speaker 2:I love that. Thank you so much for that. Yeah, one more thing I want to ask you is perfection. Do we really expect perfection from the speaker that's in front of us, or do we want them to be real like we are?
Speaker 3:Well, I think, definitely now, real is more attractive. Gone are the perfected videos of the 80s or whatever. But that to be said on social media, yes, there are very professional created videos and things like that, and it depends on the venue. But I definitely think people relate more to being authentic, being raw, being real, which is not to be confused with being unprepared and messy and winging it, flying by the seat of your pants. That's it. Those are two.
Speaker 2:So you still need to be prepared, you still need to practice. But if you mess up, it's not the end of the world.
Speaker 3:No, and I don't when I say practice like I don't recommend memorizing it. Again, it's an embodiment versus memorizing. And also, if anyone is speaking and they're like, let's say, you're speaking virtually and you're reading from your notes, I can tell. So the other audience members, maybe they can tell, maybe not, I don't know. But there's a different cadence to our voice when we are reading versus when we're just like I'm here with you guys, here's what we're doing. It is very obvious when someone is reading, even if you couldn't see them reading, right.
Speaker 2:I've noticed that myself too. I'm not there yet. I still feel the need to read, but I mean, I get it. I do get that.
Speaker 3:Yeah, I had a client who had the same issue with perfection and doing it right and being and it's all has to be wonderful. And she had spent a lot of money on a speaking coach program from many years ago but still wasn't speaking. And I'm like what's the deal? Like what, why, what are we doing here? And she confessed to me you know, I'm just so anxious every time I have a talk and I'm I'm just toiling about the words and making it all perfect and I've got to have my notes and all this stuff. And when we started working together, she finally was able to release it. And once she released that inner resistance, she started speaking four times a month, started attracting her clients, filling her programs through speaking.
Speaker 2:Finally, I love that, and so I'm going to ask you what did you do, Like what did you really do?
Speaker 3:I put a spell on her.
Speaker 3:I literally know, I think there's something about when someone just links arms with you and is like, okay, let me get to know you, your business, what is it you want and why are we not there yet? Like, what can we do to shift this way of being, way of thinking, similar to you when you're coaching people. Like, okay, I see that you've had this issue for a long time. Okay, I understand, let's unpack it and let's move through it safely together and then they can release. It's like, you know, releasing you into the wild. Go, do your thing.
Speaker 3:But that care and consideration isn't always given in certain programs. Maybe there's not individual attention, it's like you can learn the steps. But there's something magical when at least I find when people work with me, they're like oh, like you're really looking at my stuff. I'm like, yeah, I'm really looking at your stuff, like I'm really learning about you and what you want and why, and then we're going to be able to make some help you make decisions that will serve you for the rest of your career, not just for speaking, but like I want you to be super clear on your yeses, your no's, what's in alignment for you, what's okay, you don't have to do it this way you don't have to do it that way, you don't should. You know what I mean, like all those things, like just be real, and I think that's so incredibly empowering.
Speaker 2:I do too. I do too, and thank you for that, because I think, first of all, our listeners need to know, right, that that's what you're looking for, and also your speakers, like the speakers that work with you, the speakers that you know potentially will be working with you. They need to know that it's the real, the real you that we want, right, we don't want we're not living in the 80s anymore and you know, like myself, we I need to get a grip on that right. Like we don't want perfection, we want you, we want the real you in front of us and you know.
Speaker 3:I just got an email yesterday, tina, that someone asked me and he'd met me, like we've had a Zoom call. He said I just want to check, like your program's, not like an AI bot or something right? He goes it's you right? I said absolutely, so, that's happening, right. Those are, those are questions that are going to start coming in and there's a lot of us who don't want that yet Now. I don't know, in a year or two that might change, but for now there's still people who really want people.
Speaker 2:Yeah, and, and let's hope that that lasts for a while, because you know we're going to be really struggling to work if we are going to be using and relying on AI, but that's a whole new conversation. Yeah, absolutely. Well, thank you so much for joining me today, lisa. This has been great. I hope our listeners who are thinking about speaking or just getting into the speaking realm, they know they can come to you, they can and they can realize, like they will realize, that you know what's expected of them?
Speaker 3:Absolutely. Should I share a gift or are we putting that If you have a gift, yes, please share it. Absolutely. You can get the five top tips to get more speaking gigs now, because, like we didn't go into all the tips, obviously, and that's available at GetSpeakingGigsNowcom slash tips. So GetSpeakingGigs with an S because you want more than one. Getspeakinggigsnowcom slash tips so get speaking gigs with the S because you want more than one. Get speaking gigs now. Dot com slash tips.
Speaker 2:Awesome. Thank you so much. Confidence in Bloom is a celebration of self love, a confirmation that, even though you may not look like a screen star or a supermodel and they don't even look like that you are an amazing, desirable, brilliant, gorgeous, talented woman. We offer unconditional love to our partners, our children, our extended family, even our pets. It's high time we got out of our own way and learn to unconditionally love ourselves, and Full Bloom Styling and Coaching offers an online program combined with one-on-one coaching in confidence, building personal branding and creating your signature fashion look. Chic definitely does come in every shape. So if you want something to believe in, start with yourself. If you'd like to be a guest here on Confidence in Bloom, contact me through Instagram at infobloomstyling, by email at tina at infobloomstylingcom or through the Divas that Care website.
Speaker 1:Thanks, for listening this show was brought or through the Divas that Care website. Thanks for listening. This show was brought to you by Divas that Care. Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram and, of course, on divasthatcarecom, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.