Divas That Care Network
The #DivasThatCare movement is a dynamic force of positivity and progress. It's a collective of empowered women united by a shared vision: to pave the way for future generations. These women are not only breaking barriers—they’re also committed to equipping the next generation with the tools, resources, and confidence to lead with purpose.
By discovering and defining your purpose, you unlock the power to uplift those around you and contribute to a better world—every single day.
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Divas That Care Network
Always the Right Nick
Come and listen while Host Gia-Raquel Rose, owner of Airs Above Yoga chats with today's guest Nick Dunbar.
Married with three young children, Nick is an avid fly fisherman and an
outdoor enthusiast. He is also a certified yoga teacher. He began his
Real Estate career in 2014. Since then he has been a top producer
completing nearly 200 transactions. He takes great pride in managing
deals effortlessly and honestly. Nick has a master's degree in
educational psychology and a bachelor's degree in music. An
exceptional musician, he has performed all over the country. Born in
California, and spending the last 15 years in Colorado, Nick Dunbar is no
stranger to the wild west and the culture that comes with it.
Nick’s captivating debut solo album “Little Country” was released in early
2022, and is stacked with some of Colorado’s finest musicians. After
playing mandolin in touring bands and pounding the pavement playing
Honky Tonks and Dive bars all over the country, Nick decided to slow
down to build a life and family with his wife. With three kids and a farm
full of chores and animals, he is finding some solace in this more
sustainable lifestyle. But Nick continues to write and perform as often as
he can. He is very entertaining and it is hard to not notice his mega-watt
smile and the sparkle in his eyes. With wheels already in motion for
another album, be sure to keep your eye on this one!
Nick Dunbar and Gia Raquel Rose explore the delicate balancing act of managing multiple passions while maintaining mental health and authentic relationships. Their conversation reveals how mindfulness practices and intentional choices create space for genuine connections in our busy lives.
• Learning to respond rather than react to life's demands through mindfulness practices
• How physical ailments often manifest as expressions of mental health challenges
• Setting boundaries in a digital world where constant availability is expected
• Finding the "flow state" in passionate pursuits like music and yoga
• The importance of community support when navigating life transitions
• Building discipline around self-care without becoming rigid or judgmental
• The profound impact of consciously choosing your life path every day
• Balancing authentic self-expression with professional responsibilities
Join us for this soul-nourishing conversation about finding your center in a demanding world. Follow Nick Dunbar and his music on Spotify under Nick Dunbar, Nick Dunbar and Sad Cowboy, and The Lazy Sky, or on Instagram @nickwdunbar.
For more Divas That Care Network Episodes visit www.divasthatcare.com
It's Divas that Care Radio Stories, strategies and ideas to inspire positive change. Welcome to Divas that Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone. This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations. To find out more about the movement, visit DivasThatCarecom after the show. Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.
Speaker 2:Namaste and welcome to the Divas that Care Network. I am your host, gia Raquel Rose, owner of Heirs Above Yoga, and you are listening to Above the Ground podcast. If this is your first time. Tuning in our network is going into its 15th year and is listened to in over 30 countries. I would like to personally thank you for giving me the gift of your time.
Speaker 2:It is always my honor to hold space with you, and today we have an amazing guest with us, mr Nick Dunbar. He is a man that I can say is consistently busier than me, which is kind of hard to do, because I get that a lot from everyone Like, hey, how do you do all the things? And I'm kind of like I don't really know, I just do them and put out whatever fires in front of my face first, and Nick and I actually do a few of the same things, which is how we kind of came together, and so I'm going to throw him under the bus so he can tell us all about how he balances all of the seeds that he has planted in his life, starting with whichever one he feels like he wants to roll with.
Speaker 3:Well, yeah, I appreciate you bringing me on here and Gia and I do have that connection and I kind of like that motto is not a motto, but you know, you don't know how you do it. You just kind of you know put out whatever fire comes in front of you and I, you know, I wish I could say that I have some master, you know skill to put this all together and make it all happen. But you know, I do agree with Gia that you know you kind of deal with what comes to you. I think a big piece of this, and I think which pertains to the podcast, is also like the mindfulness piece of it. And you know responding versus reacting. You know those types of things where it's you know being in a place where, like, you can receive something and sort of like have, like, absorb it and then take a moment and then you know be able to, you know respond accordingly versus just this like crazy reaction piece. And that's been a discipline for me and a lot of that is just bandwidth.
Speaker 3:And you know I moved to a new area. You know being in real estate, you know really had to put myself out there. I had to say yes to everything when I initially got here. And you know there is something freeing about being the yes man and, just, you know, being the guy that anybody calls and says, hey, you want to go fishing, you want to go grab a drink at the bar, do you want to go to a yoga class? And and and being that guy. And then you know, finally, like, like, have planted many, many seeds and starting to come to the other side of that, where I can sort of pick and choose what I want to do.
Speaker 3:And I would say I still like to be the yes man. But I've also realized that, like, there's a, you know, sort of an exploration on what I can give and then also prioritizing, like who that I give it to can give, and then also prioritizing, like who that I give it to. And you know I have three children, three, five and seven. I have my wife. You know I have my animals, I have my health and, and you know, starting to, you know, be able to sort of, you know, put an order to those things. I hate to say that, you know that's like it sounds like. I have a list of. You know, put an order to those things. I hate to say that you know that's like it sounds like I have a list of you know priorities, but, but I do.
Speaker 2:You have to.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that's life at life.
Speaker 2:That's not just you. You shouldn't feel bad about it. You have to prioritize in your life and technically, even though, like, your family comes first, your own health has to come first, or you're not doing your family any services either. You know, that's just part of it. Like, not pouring from an empty cup is a huge thing, you know, and with all of the things. So, nick, much like myself, we're both in real estate, right, we're both certified yoga instructors, certified and certifiable as I like to joke, certifiable as I like to joke. And Nick also has an amazing music career and has brought, and has, a whole first part of his life that was out in Colorado, that effect that you know kind of ties into your whole musical career. And now you've brought that whole piece of it and plunked it right down in our, in our now home state of New Jersey, in addition to homesteading and all of the other things that you do, including raise three adorable children and a beautiful wife.
Speaker 3:Yeah, and that I mean that you know, and the health thing is a big thing and you know. You know I don't know how much you should about your trip on it, but you know I've definitely in the last year have had a little bit of intervention with, you know, my body and you know, and my mental health and some you know physical stuff that is manifested through mental health, stuff I totally feel at my core. I mean, I have like a, you know kind of like a gouty arthritis type thing that has, like you know, has been circulating through my body and I've seen a lot of specialists and doctors and I can't, haven't been able to seem to get it under control. And then, you know, I found out about this one doctor. You know that healing, healing the mind, healing the pain is kind of the motto and I've, you know, been doing a lot of work on that and and have had a lot of success with it. And so that you know, I think my I was sort of forced to slow down. I probably would have just kept going. And then it was a little bit of divine intervention and it was like, yeah, you know, your body is telling you that you need to sort of shift your priorities on that. And you know I was doing food stuff, no alcohol. You know lots of different things that you know what you would assume would probably get it done. And then it wasn't working and, and you know, lack of a better, you know, visual, I was sick in the head and and you know, so I've, I've, you know, done a lot of work on that and and, and I'm still doing a lot of that. I do've, you know, done a lot of work on that and I'm still doing a lot of that.
Speaker 3:I do the. You know the Vedic meditation. You know, once or twice a day I try to sit for, you know, 20 minutes with my mantra. And you know like we're. So we have so much noise in our lives when it comes to work. So we have so much noise in our lives when it comes to work, social media expectations everybody has access to you at every second. You know it's like you get an email and you don't respond in 15 minutes. Everyone is like up in arms. I even our text messages. Unless you said it, it will say read or not read.
Speaker 2:Turn off read receipts. Turn off.
Speaker 3:read receipts Read that text message, you know.
Speaker 2:I know you saw.
Speaker 3:It's totally like it's paralyzing, and you know it's like you're so people are so worried about, like how they're being received and how people think about them. I mean it's like you're so people are so worried about, like how they're being received and how people think about them. I mean it's like the basis of what drives social media and things like that is like receiving affirmation from you know a highlight reel of things that you put up and and you know, with that's also a tool and you know, not as much in real estate for me, but like for music and things like that. So I am, you know, somewhat of of sort of a slave to that. And then you know, not as much in real estate for me, but like for music and things like that. So I am, you know, somewhat of of sort of a slave to that. And then you know putting up boundaries has been, you know has been, a discipline and a practice and and and, and you know realizing like, like, all right, this doesn't serve me.
Speaker 3:Yeah, maybe you know it would help me get gigs or it would help me, you know, with my fan base, but actually, like overall, it's affecting me worse on my mental health and which is causing physical stuff, which is causing, you know, me to be reactionary with my children and my partner and and, like you know, it's like this chain reaction and and so like the, the, like you know, and I've always like had this dream of like being just like a, like a yoga teacher, and like a really corporate space and like doing mindfulness in in the, the, the business sort of sphere, and I think that is like the most important thing that you can do is is finding that balance, and I really don't think it takes like that much time.
Speaker 3:I just think it takes like focus and intention. And then execution and, and you know, saying I'm not going to respond to an email, like between these times, or like I'm going to put my phone on Do not disturb, at this time, I'm going to have a limit here, you know and then having things like yoga, meditation, whatever, and making sure that you execute on that as well no-transcript thyroid issue.
Speaker 2:But it comes from like it's an autoimmune response which is not dissimilar to arthritis, um, and it comes from like running yourself into the ground because you, you know, say yes to everything. I took a step back from I was on three different boards. I stopped one of those boards entirely and took a step back from that and you know, you just have to start altering your priorities and saying no. And that can be really hard, especially when you're in sales and you're in no matter which, no matter which aspect of the life, of your life you're focusing on, whether it's your music, which is like your passion project, whether it's your business, you know it's, it's all pouring out of you and at some point you can't just be a seeping sponge. There's not going to be anything left.
Speaker 2:And your body? I'm a firm believer, from just years of yoga and spirituality, that your body is a reflection of your mind. Right, healthy mind, healthy body. So as you start to abuse your body to ends beyond yourself, your body is going to let you know. It's like my mom always used to say if you don't check yourself, you know she said God, universe, whatever the universe is going to check you, for you, something's going to come in and stop you, whether you get a lot of people get sick, even if it's a flu or a cold, and like they'll run until they're just run into the ground. And so to that end, it's like what are those? Where do you draw those lines?
Speaker 2:And I think the biggest word that I've taken recently is discipline, because it's it's discipline with your health, with your diet, with your, with your, your intake, your consumption, whether that's social media, you know, whatever you're consuming, we are a species that consumes things.
Speaker 2:So whatever it is that you're bringing in, you have to be disciplined enough and start to recognize, have the self-awareness and then begin to implement the changes that you need to understand where you are and how you can best move forward to support yourself, your family, your health, your business, all of those things.
Speaker 2:And you have to like discipline and priorities are the two most important things to, in my mind, to make that happen in a functional way, to preserve your well-being, so that, and to set an example for your kids, right, and so I just wanted, I just wanted right, like I feel like that's just like the, the formula kind of it has to, and maybe you need to run into the ground to realize it, when you're the type of person that hustles right, when, when you're used to that and and you know, not for nothing, but as we age, like we're both, we're similar in age I won't say the number, we're not too far off from each other and, and there's a specific number there was a whole movie called, called this is you know what? And and around that age, I feel like you start to have to implement balance, or balance is going to implement you one way or the other.
Speaker 3:I totally felt that. I mean, it was like as soon as I turned 40 this year, it was like you know, it was like all of a sudden I was like I, it was like you know, it was like all of a sudden, I was like I just did not have the same gas that I did. You know like it felt like a week before.
Speaker 3:It was like you know so many people you know I've learned now is that you kind of like age, age, age you know 31, you and I do is like you know you have to put yourself out there and you know what's cool about what we do is it enables us to be involved in a lot of different things. For you, you know the horse world, land, you know. You know yoga. For me, you know similar music, land farming, you know, know all these different things. But like you know it's you have to like be focused and you have to. You know you can't just throw like this crazy wide net everywhere and just expect that it's gonna just happen. Like you know, you've got to sort of. You know, for me, I moved here and so I had to throw a wide net and now I've seen the things that have the seeds that have taken and you know. So, like I'm starting to, you know, harness those and focus on those. But even within those, you know different avenues, I still need to prioritize there and set up boundaries and and set up goals and then execute within that versus. You know, I've always kind of run with like a chicken with his head cut off and and you know, things have seemed to come together for me.
Speaker 3:But like now, like with this, you know age, or you know with three children or with you know the priorities, with my bandwidth seeming to have sort of, you know, shrunk, you know I have to focus and I have to be disciplined and I have to, you know, make a plan and you know, beyond that is all this, the supplemental, you know things just maintenance things, which is like the eating healthy, sleeping, going to bed on time, yoga, meditation, getting outside and walking, and so there's like these two pieces, there's like this just overall, and this is like a like, an evolution, like you know, someday, like when you're young, it's like you only need so much sleep and you only need a couple yoga classes and it's, you know, you need a lot more alcohol to get drunk.
Speaker 3:You know there's all, and so you're constantly like going through these stages and having to sort of, you know, evolve with your needs, and so you know, having the discipline of being present and the mindfulness piece is like vital as you change. And then you say, okay, these are now my maintenance things that just keep me ticking, keep me alive, and then these are the things that I'm going to focus on business wise. Those are things I'm going to focus on like, like fun, you know, for me wise, and you know, and then hey, they cross over here, great. But, like you know, having the maintenance, the things that serve you as sort of fun and freedom, and then the business things, it's like it's a delicate balance and it constantly needs tweaking and tuning and and that's the thing that is like is really a dance, you know.
Speaker 2:Absolutely. And you know, I think that the way that you said, when you talked about your bandwidth and you said it shrunk, I don't think it shrunk, I think you hit capacity.
Speaker 3:Yeah, do you know what I mean, because if you think about your bandwidth and you said it shrunk.
Speaker 2:I don't think it shrunk. I think you hit capacity. Yeah, Do you know what?
Speaker 3:I mean Because, if you, think about literal bandwidth.
Speaker 2:what it is is, at a certain point, when you fill it up, like it, it craps out on you. That's all it's got, and I so I don't think for either, for anyone, I don't think it shrinks. And then at a certain point, it's like your brain starts and I've said this to people like my brain starts to just lose things, because your brain prioritizes what's most important, and so things will literally start to fall out of your awareness, fall out of your. You know your kind of 180 degree angle of focus out in front of you and it's back there in the 360 degree part, and it's just not in your awareness, out in front.
Speaker 2:And when that happens, that's how we start to kind of lose the grip on. You know, potentially your business or potentially you know something starts to fall by the wayside, and that's when it's not like a trunk. It's just that okay. I need to start to bring what I'm focusing on into more deliberate practice, more deliberate, more deliberate choice. I can't do everything. I realized that I can't do everything well, I can do everything badly, or I can do these amounts of things well.
Speaker 3:So you start trimming the fat, exactly yeah, and I do think that you hit the max and then it's full and then you're like, okay, now this needs to go out, this needs to go out, this needs to go out Because, like you said, the 180 degrees that you're not seeing anymore is actually stuff that you prioritize and you're dropping the ball on it and you got to let it go.
Speaker 3:And, like I know, everybody has the inner monologue, like we all do, like you know, it's just like it's like giving yourself like a little bit of grace and some slack and be like dude not everybody. Like there's like I never watched tv, but I actually like watch this show with my wife and and it there was like about this therapist and they were talking about the inner monologue and and and like he was like man, I just, you know, I just I can't face him, I can't talk to my dad or wife or whatever it was, and and he's like, just visualize the worst possible scenario right now. Like close your eyes and think about what is the worst possible thing that could happen. And then he, like you know, and then he's like, could you get through that? And he's like, yeah, and he's like do you think that's actually what's going to happen? And he's like no, and so he was like it already like processed this intensity that, like he was sort of like projecting was going to happen, without even like like experiencing what that actually felt like.
Speaker 3:And then, and, and then, and then he experienced it and he's like, oh yeah, that actually wasn't that bad.
Speaker 3:And then he goes and has this scenario and the scenario, like is nothing and it's, there's no issue with it, and you've spent all this time like just blowing something up in your brain that hasn't even happened yet.
Speaker 3:It's like it's crazy and I know we all do it and it's something that I have like, like you know, really, really had to work on and that's because I'm a people pleaser and, like you know, like in our business, you've got to suck it up a little bit and you know, a lot of health stuff you know goes towards those types of people and you got to know like nobody's gonna like be upset with you for having boundaries and putting, you know, your priorities first, and if they do, then you don't want them in that, you know, in your bandwidth anymore and that's because they probably have their own personal problems.
Speaker 3:And when you think about how you would respond, you would be like, wow, I would be so grateful that they were, you know, honest and vulnerable and saying, hey, you know what, like I can't make this this, I've got some personal things going on, or like you know I you know, I just I'm making shifts, I don't want to be drinking all the time or, like you know, the music thing serves me on this capacity, but it doesn't serve me being away from my family.
Speaker 3:So, like I'm, like right now, I'm going to take more steps with this and, like you know, our ego is who's always, like you know, know roaring its head at us to just be like dude, it's like you know, the greatest way, the strongest person that you can be, you know, is someone that listens to themselves and like, truly figures out what they need to be the best person that they can, and that is between you and your spirit. It doesn't, it has nothing to do with what the other kids' parents think, or you know, or it's, it's like it's you, and that's why the like, mindfulness and, and you know, the introspection and the quiet and all those things are like so vital right now as as maintenance things, just to you know, to you know to do that kind of thing and and you know, I love, I love that you said that for a couple reasons.
Speaker 2:So one it's always like when we all do that right, we always go to the dark place, right, and like, our mind plays out these like scenarios and I think it's like I've said this before, I'm pretty sure it's self-preservation from like some sort of like archaeological dar Darwinian. You know, don't let the potential saber tooth tiger come out of the bushes from over there and attack us and murder us. It's like it comes from that. It's like a limbic system type of brain response and I know that everybody does it. But when you start to elevate your consciousness and you start to elevate, you meditate and you do all these practices, you practice yoga, you practice stilling the mind, and you realize that that is part of that.
Speaker 2:Like quote unquote, monkey mind chatter, right, like that, that amount of energy that you expend putting towards that worry, because the worry is essentially the prayer for what you don't want to happen. Right, it has not exist, it has not happened, it may never happen. Nine times out of 10, it doesn't happen the way that you project it to happen. And now all of this bandwidth that you could be using to write a song to read your kid a bedtime story, right to take your wife out on a date to you know, close that deal to whatever it is. All that bandwidth has now gone completely out the window, creating a potential that you don't even want to happen, and it's like it isn't going to even happen right.
Speaker 2:Right, but if you think about it, it's got a better chance of happening than if you didn't. Right, like if you're talking about what did happen.
Speaker 3:You allowed it to happen because it just you just focused on it. And that's as bad as it actually happening in the physical world. And I totally agree. I mean the amount of times I've looked at my, I've been looking at my phone like doing some work thing, and then my kid asked me something. And I'm super short with him, you know, and because like I'm somewhere else and like all my kids, just like yo dude.
Speaker 3:I just wanted to see if you would like, you know, feed me some, you know whatever, yeah, and like, make me a snack. And it's like you just like it's it's really bad and I have, like had come a long way to really try to shift that. And I feel like I'm, you know, on a much, much, much better path. And you know it's, it's, it's every day. It's like, get up in the morning, do my med first thing in the morning, you know, like, like, like talk to my therapist, like you know, like there's just like it's just so important that, like you're able to like receive things and not just like instantly react, like you just you have to receive and you have to just take a breath and diffuse it, dilute it, and then, and then, you know, gather your composure and then say, okay, yeah, this is, this is, you know how I'm going to react. And then, eventually, I think you train yourself, you know, with a lot of practice, to not have those initial responses. And I'm still in the place where I'm like I'm responding, but I'm keeping it inside and I'm noticing it and I'm like, okay, noticed, you know, noted, and then I'm like, all right, shift. And you know I'm hoping, after you know enough time that I'll be able to retrain to be like you know more of in this. You know space and I laugh because like my father-in-law, he's like you know Vietnam, that you know worked for, flew for Ronald Reagan, he flew.
Speaker 3:John Denver, the Grateful Dead, like you know crazy, grew up poor and, you know, is big time in the aviation industry and I'm like he's reached like full enlightenment because like he doesn't like, like he just responds, like he doesn't think about it, like he just comes out and, and you know, if he speaks from his heart, always and sometimes you're like dude, that was so out of control, but he'll just own it and he'll just move right through it and it's like you know, but he trusts his gut and his response so much that he's able to just like, just you know, be free with it and not have this crazy mind thing associated with it. And if it comes out the way that he doesn't, that it shouldn't have, he just is like I screwed up, I'm owning it and he like moves through it and it's like it's you know. I mean I don't want to be so reactionary, but I also look at him like wow, like you're, you're free, you know, like you're totally free and it's, it's. You know, it's a pretty cool thing to witness well.
Speaker 2:And so I feel like you're talking about, like, the flow state, and I've seen you play music and I I will say that I believe that when you I actually haven't taken one of your yoga classes, but when I see you play music, I believe that that is a spot for you where you, you've become in tune with your flow state.
Speaker 2:And I think that you know right, if we're talking about enlightenment, we're talking about, you know like and I've used the optics of the monk that set himself on fire in protest right, and the amount of discipline, the amount of meditation that man had to go through to be able to be out of his body, so much so that it could be on fire and he could sit peacefully is that's a state, right, that is a complete and utter state that most human beings, that is a complete and utter state that most human beings, I would dare say, may not attain in this lifetime. And so, if we're working on meditation and getting into a place where we are, the first step is to acknowledge it, the next step is to release it and then to begin to retrain it. But when you said I want to get to this point where I don't even have that reactive I mean. I feel like that, like give yourself some grace there, because I feel like that, that space, we are still human we are going to have an emotional reaction. It is that's normal and natural. Even even your father in law, if it comes out wrong, that's probably coming from a place of an emotional reaction. Maybe it's not, but there's a potential that it could be and I think that you know you have. That's where you have to give yourself grace because you're doing the actual disciplined work to move past that place within yourself with, with determination, with knowledge, with foresight, knowing that this is an issue that you are, I don't want to say struggling with, but recognizing and attempting to divert or refocus, redirect. And that's the discipline and that's the work.
Speaker 2:And so if you are doing that form of meditation and getting yourself to a place where you know you can not react, you may react in your mind's eye, you may have that emotional reaction, but that's what we do, that's our human nature is to react.
Speaker 2:So the only thing we can do is not let it affect how we respond, which is and I feel like that flow state the more you and I do think that you definitely hit it when you play, but the more that we are in that flow state.
Speaker 2:And I've said this with another I don't know if you know Sandy Roth, but I had her on and she and I were talking all about yoga and Reiki and we were talking about how and I actually made made an assessment between yoga and jazz and when I'm teaching a yoga class and I get in that flow state, I don't write my classes out, I don't plan my classes, I just teach them and I practice right, I practice postures and asanas, but I don't, you know, I don't practice the flows all the way through, because you may have somebody walk in and you your whole lesson plan goes right out the window, and so you have to be able to improvise and to live in that state of receptivity from your higher self.
Speaker 2:But whatever you want to call it, and I know that you do that with your music I've seen the way that you play and I know that all of that discipline and practice comes into your songwriting, your practicing, getting your band together right, like there's an element of of, and that's what in my mind, that's what the meditation is right, it's the, it's the practicing, it's the, it's the doing your own yoga, practicing your own yoga, it's the you know.
Speaker 3:Writing your own song, it's all part and parcel of you know, some form of like manifesting the life that's going to work best for you, and in, not in in creating or cultivating a nick that can make his kid a sandwich without snapping at him and you know what I mean like being like in dad flow, right, you're right, I totally get there with music and, like you know, like you said, I mean the building blocks like practicing and songwriting and booking the gigs and doing all that are all like the steps that I have to do to achieve that flow state, like when I get to play a gig, you know, and it's same with, like you know, eating healthy and meditation and all those things like those are all like the building blocks for what I need to do to sort of have that flow state when I'm, you know, going through my day to day operations and that's, you know.
Speaker 3:That comes back to what we talked about is the discipline piece and you know it's like when I drive, I'll be like driving to your gig, I'll be, it'll happen on Thursday, it'll be like 7.30 and I'll kiss my kids goodbye and I'll be driving an hour to go play a Nyack gig and I'll be like what am I doing? Am I doing? This is so dumb, like I'm so sad right now to be leaving and then I'll be driving home at like two in the morning.
Speaker 3:I'm like this is the best life. I would never have any of this ever. And it's like you know, like I, I know that, like I know that, like I know, once I get there and once, like it all starts coming together, it's you know, I'll have the guy a week before I, two guys, cancel on a gig in two weeks, two weeks ago. You know what I mean. And it's just like, and you know I'll have the guy a week before I, two guys, cancel on a gig in two weeks, two weeks ago. You know what I mean. And it's just like, and I used to just get like, oh, and now I'm just like it doesn't matter, like it's all good, like I'm going to go there and play and have fun I don't care what anybody thinks Like I know we've got a good product, but you know what, like it serves me, like it serves me, like it makes me happy, it's what makes me whole.
Speaker 3:And like if you get with it, that's great, awesome. If you're not with it, like that's, I'm not taking that on anymore. You know what I mean. Yeah.
Speaker 2:Yeah, no, you can't like, you can't, and that's and you know. You've touched on that a little bit before when, when you were saying, you know, having allowing yourself the grace to know that other people, if they were as authentic in their communication and their self-awareness to represent where they're coming from, when they have those emotional reactions, let's face it, in our job with, with real estate, less so maybe with yoga, but I've had some, you know, grumpy yoga students as well. When we are fielding clients that aren't getting their exact way in the exact moment that they want to get their exact way, we become a punching bag as their agents, right, right, and you know I've had yoga students complain about the playlist. Like, all right, well, if you don't like, maybe I'm not the best yoga teacher for you because I like Pearl Jam I might play Pearl Jam during a yoga class. If you're not into it, that's okay, you don't need to be, but don't yell at me. Just choose a different teacher and be grateful that you've now eliminated Pearl Jam from your yogic experience.
Speaker 2:Right, like, you have to remain authentic to who you are and and that is that is how you find your tribe, that's how you create your tribe, that's how you, you know your clients align with you. That's how you're. The people that listen to your music align with you. The people that come to your yoga class. You know that's the more in the flow state you are. I believe this to be true. The more that you are going to attract what is meant for you to you, and the more you honor yourself, the more authentic the attraction is going to be and the better it's going to become. I hope that that's the case. I believe that's the case, and the more you come from that place of like, grinding right and like and not that there's not an element that needs to be, but that that like wearing you down at a certain point, like that's not authentic. You can't be worn down and live in authenticity right, because you're not being true to yourself at that point.
Speaker 3:you're just, you're just in you're, you're on the ground right, and that authentic piece is something I fight with so much because of like I'm like a this country bluegrass rock star. But then it's like, well, that guy's selling multi-million dollar houses what a fraud. You know what I mean. And it's like, well, you know what I'm doing, I'm taking care of my family and like I'm serving my clients and I'm serving my people and you know, like it's, it's like you have again, it's like you go through all this and it's like like I had these conversations where, like you just made this face, like what are you even talking about? You know, and like that's the response. People are like dude, like you're crushing it, like you're doing something. You serve so many communities, you know, on like a really, really high level and you know, but your vision of yourself is that like dude, like you need help. And that's like, kind of where I was, it was like like I, like I was like it's not seeing myself in this light.
Speaker 3:And you know, I had this really potent experience. There was this party, you know, a couple of weeks ago and you know, like a month before that, like I've had some issues with moving from Colorado because I was so successful there and we just bailed and we totally didn't plan and we just never been good at planning. And I was looking at my wife, you know, like a couple of weeks before this party and we were going to go on this Italy trip and I was, my health was haggard and I was just like I don't want to go to this party, I don't want to go to Italy. I just I, I'm, I'm like I am, I have no friends. I totally don't feel like I have like the type of people that I did in Colorado and and I'm, you know, this is not where we're supposed to be. And then it was like, and then we like went to the party and it was like I had like four or five people come up to me and they were just like I love you, like I love you so much, like and just like hugging me and like you know, like whatever you need, like you want to hang out, you want to go fishing, no drinking, like you know, like anything I can do, like I'm and I was. I asked my wife I'm like, are you, did you tell people that I like needed this? And she's like absolutely not. And it was like all these people just like knew that I needed that.
Speaker 3:And then I saw my buddy's parents, who were like you know. They were outside and they've been married for like 50 years and and you know they were kind of kissing waiting for their uber, like so precious, and I run up, I'm like you know, they were kind of kissing waiting for their Uber, like so precious, and I run up, I'm like you know, break it up and I'm flying, feeling super good, and she's like she goes, nick, like you know, and I was with them for Easter of like a month before that, and playing my guitar, the kids were playing and she's like Nick, I just want to say like, like you are so special. And I was like, and her husband's like Nick, I just want to say like like you are so special. And I was like, and her husband's like yeah, yeah, he's family. And she's like no, I don't mean that Like, I mean like you are something really, really, really special. And she's like that was like the best Easter that we've ever had. And she's like you just sat there and you just, it was just you, like you were just playing your guitar and you're talking to everybody and then you'd help with the kids and she's like you just like brought this, like energy and this, this like set this tone that was just like infectious to be around. And she's like it was so meaningful, like I just want you to know, like you really, really, really touch us, like we're so grateful you're here.
Speaker 3:And then she just looks at me and she's like you're gonna be okay. And I'm like, are you like in my mind and like Kat, you know, did like everybody plan this out. You know like and like. She's like. She's like like you know, like it's gonna be okay. And she's like but you have to choose it. And she's like but you have to choose it. And she's like you have to wake up every morning and you have to choose your wife and you have to choose your kids, you have to choose your job. And she's like some days, if you don't want to, but she's like I'm telling you like if you don't, it's going to be a long, tough road. And she's like but if you choose this life and I'm telling you it is going to be it is the most beautiful life, like I see it right in front of you, like it is right there. And she's like, if you just choose it, like you'll be here in 50 years with your partner, you know, at your friends, your kids party, hanging out with all their friends, and you know, and it will be a beautiful, beautiful life.
Speaker 3:And it was like I was just like crying. I mean, I was crying, you know, like just tearing up, and I remember, and then her husband goes all right, honey, the uber's here, let's go. They cruise out of there. And I'm like like in tears, you know, and I just like throw my sunglasses on. I'm, you know, lit lit up.
Speaker 1:I'm good, I'm good roll.
Speaker 3:I'm good, Roll back into the party Just like I choose it, I'm good, I'm good, I've been healed, you know, and it was like so deep. But like I've said that to a couple other people who are, like you know, older and like know what's up and feel like it and they're like that idea of choosing something is so potent, you know what I mean Like it's like it's crazy when it's simple, but it's like you know you don't do it.
Speaker 1:You're like no, I hate my job. Oh, I don't want to get up.
Speaker 3:Oh, I gotta meditate again. Oh, I gotta eat salad again, you know, and all of a sudden you're like dude.
Speaker 2:I choose you salad, like it's, it's real no, I mean yeah, it's the struggle to choose. That is real for sure, oh my gosh.
Speaker 3:Yeah, so that was my existential crisis, averted with you know just some warm embrace, you know, and it's a little bit of a little bit of guidance.
Speaker 2:Well, I mean'm being honestly like, being surrounded by love. Let's just like, call it what it is. I mean, no one lives in a vacuum. And you know, did you ever? I don't don't. I'm not like a research type person. You know me, I'm not super into like the, the scientific deep dives, but you do you remember the study about the rats and the and the?
Speaker 2:I think I want to say it was heroin, it was like some sort of hard drug, and they put rats, isolated rats, in with water. One of the bottles of water had a hard drug in it cocaine or heroin. It was a bad one. And the other rats had regular water and basically what they found was the rats that were isolated and had access to the drug water killed themselves very, very quickly. Then they realized during the experiment that they didn't provide the rats with any other rats or anything to do, and they then gave them like rat paradises with all of these toys and other rats, and none of the rats went for oh, wow, or the drugged water in any capacity.
Speaker 2:And so it's really about know, and we as human beings are social creatures and we need to have a network. And you know there are times when you need your alone time, you need your meditation, you need your isolation, in small doses, and you need to be able to be alone with yourself, like that's obviously a massive part of the puzzle, a massive part of the puzzle. But if you are in a dark place or you know your mental health is suffering, if you're, you know like, in any of those places, you know the support is huge family, friends, having a community. I mean, you started that. That set that moment out with I'm not in the right place.
Speaker 2:My friends are in Colorado, like, like, what did we do? Right Like. So, from that place of like, I don't have support, I feel unsupported, I don't have a network, I'm on an island or whatever it might be for you. And then in that moment, the universe gave you, like, even, and you had to choose to go to the party, right Like, you made the choice because you didn't want to go and you put yourself out there. And then the universe is like I got you.
Speaker 3:We got you Right. That was what was so crazy to me was for me to have those feelings and then be like, wow, it's all right here and I just don't see it. And that's that was where the choosing thing, you know, I mean the universe gave it to me 100 percent and then just having that sort of mindset of choosing it, it's like wow, like I went from being like I nobody loves me and it's all fake and to like I have never felt so loved in my life and it was like get it to you, dude, you need to see a therapist.
Speaker 2:No, but I mean like it's beautiful and you know, I love that. That happened for you and I think we all, we all get that. Hopefully, hopefully, everyone gets that feeling of being loved and supported, because I think that if you, if you have that, if you have that, you feel like a like superhuman right. If you have that, whatever the safety net looks like right, like it's your parents when you're little right Like, like someone's there to catch you if you fall.
Speaker 2:And having that kind of security, whether it's your parents, whether it's your wife, whether it's your friends, whoever it becomes as you evolve and grow, you know it gives you the confidence, it gives you the belief in yourself, you know the confirmation to go out there and choose those things, because otherwise, you know you can, you can spiral yourself right out of your best choice. Right Like that's what the worry, that's what that fear that you know that that limbic system brain, that that monkey mind, whatever you want to call it it can, it can just spin you right out of, right away from, like had you not gone to that party, to that party? Right like what if you didn't go to the party? Right, sliding doors movie. Like what if nick didn't go to the party and then nick decided that he was going to move back to colorado?
Speaker 2:and like you know what I mean like, totally like like just that one little kind of you know, that one choice, that one move and and to get you out of that spiral that you were in. That maybe wasn't even true, I mean it was true for you in the moment right.
Speaker 2:But you felt it was, and one of the biggest things is the emotions right. So you were living in the emotion of that overwhelm, upset, fear, loneliness, whatever it was, maybe all of the above or none, and you stepped out of it and out into the world around you and the world around you said no, we've got your back, we've got you. You're good, we love you, we support you. You're awesome. Look at you. Look at all this awesome, amazing stuff you do. You are authentic, and just because you're a honky tonk rockstar doesn't mean that you can't sell a bad hundred acre farm right, like yeah, you know what I mean like less of a person.
Speaker 2:It makes you. It makes you more of a badass. How many other rock stars can sell real estate?
Speaker 3:no right no, no, I mean, I know and it's, it's. People can say it, so the cows come home. But until you see it yourself, you know that's and you have to just allow that and you have to receive it, and you have to hear it and you know, and it's. You know, people like like my wife, like I tell her she's awesome and like she's amazing acupuncturist, I'm always like how was it?
Speaker 3:how did your clients? Were they stoked and you know, did you get any feedback? And she's just like I don't need it. Like you do, dude, you know she's like I'm good, like I know I'm good, I don't need it. Like you do, dude, you know she's like I'm good, like I know I'm good, like I don't need it. And she's like but your love language is like you know, you want, you know, reassurement and feedback.
Speaker 2:Words of affirmation yeah.
Speaker 3:Words of affirmation and and you know we've gone through issues together because, like I'm like begging for it and she's like stop it. You know what I mean. And I was like can we like sort of meet in the middle with us? And you know it's important to know, you know what you need and to ask for it and like feel comfortable, to be like.
Speaker 3:You know this is I'm not being selfish, this is kind of what I need right now and I think I asked the universe for it and I, you know, and it gave it to me like and I like I finally like vocalized it, like I just like sat in the bed with my wife and I was like life sucks for me right now, like I'm so unhappy, like and I know that I shouldn't be like I know it, I know it's beautiful, like I can see all these things, but like inside I am like dead, you know, and and and I was like I know it, I know it's beautiful, like I can see all these things, but like inside I am like dead, you know, and and and I was like I don't know what to do and like I just, you know, I'm eating healthy, I'm not drinking, I'm doing all everything that everybody's telling me to do and I can't like get a hold of this, this pain and all this stuff and and you know, and it was like as soon as I started like just owning it like and letting it out there and writing it, know, and it was like as soon as I started like just owning it like and letting it out there and writing it down, and it was like there was like all of a sudden it felt like the healing could like really begin and then all of a sudden there was all these people there that were like they just knew, like on cue, like it was.
Speaker 3:It was pretty bizarre, you know yeah, I mean it sounds.
Speaker 2:It sounds kind of poignantly beautiful. You know what I mean. It was and and it's, you know. Yeah, I mean it sounds.
Speaker 3:It sounds kind of poignantly beautiful. You know what I?
Speaker 2:mean it was and, and it's like you know, we talked a little bit before about like the one 80, the one 80 versus the three 60. And it feels like maybe you were putting your real and true and authentic emotions in the back one 80 and that you brought them out into the front and then, like the universe is like oh, okay, we've got you, like I had that experience like I had.
Speaker 3:There's so many people at the party that I knew and I remember my wife and I were like the only people we had sunglasses on, and it was like you know someone like came up to me and they're like we need you to write the letter for the lake club.
Speaker 3:I was like glasses bye. Like I saw my clients, they were like I was dancing, they're like. He was like, yeah, you know, looking like he wanted to come in and dance with us. And then he just like steps on his wife's foot and like smashes her ankle and she's just like gives this look and I was like glasses on later.
Speaker 3:You know, like all these things were like normally I would have been like engaged, are you okay? Or you know, I was just like you know what. No, like 80 goodbye and like nobody cared, nobody's like. Oh, you didn't check on me when my husband stepped on my ankle and you're outraging on the dance floor, like why would I even think that that is even like appropriate, you know? But that's just like like you are you. Are you just people?
Speaker 2:pleasing, yeah, yeah, Well, of course, Like, like, oh, I want, I want to help with that, Like it's just and listen, I like people pleasing is not always great. It certainly is not great for the people, pleaser. It can get you in a lot of bad circumstances. But I do believe that it comes from a place of inherent kindness, Agreed, and I don't think that that's a bad way to be. I'd rather be inherently kind than you know, be living in the head of someone who's selfish and and shady and you know a liar or manipulate you know what I mean. Like I'd rather be kind and harmed because of my kindness than the, than the opposite.
Speaker 3:I totally agree. But and that's the part about like knowing your limit, knowing your bandwidth, you know setting boundaries, prioritizing and then going and kind of executing, and that you know it's there's a word, sonder. Do you know that word? Um, it's like everybody is out there having their own unique experience. Like that's Sonder.
Speaker 3:Like you know, the people listening to this right now are, you know, having their own thing, and the person you know he says all the little meme where it's like everyone's in traffic and it's like this guy's late to drop the kids off, this guy just got fired. You know, this guy's got a sick dog that's going to the vet. This guy just had the best day of his life. This guy just had the best day of his life. Like you know, like there's just you know like we're all just like on this plane having our own unique experience. And you know, like we don't need to like go into everybody's mind and try to figure out what, how they're receiving every single you know scenario that's involved with you, you're going to just, you're going to kill yourself. It's just like it's. It's it's not fair, you know, and some people are more wired to to do that and I think, like you said, the intention inherently is good, but like there's a point where it's like okay, you know, this is, you know, this is too much yeah, it can become.
Speaker 2:It can become unhealthy, just like anything like that, and that's where the discipline comes in right. It's like any, even the healthiest thing for you. Like you can, you can.
Speaker 2:You can drink too much water and die from it right, but you have to drink a whole lot of water, right like it, like and I don't want to say everything in moderation, because it's trite, but it's true, but it's trite, but it's like everything has the potential to be harmful if you, if, if you overdo it, right like it. Just even the best things like if you sit in meditation all day, every day and I know people, I mean people do that right sages, right like enlightened enlightened people can do that. But there's an element of you know, at a certain point you need to nourish your body as well and that's where it comes to like the balance.
Speaker 2:Fine, and everyone's balance is gonna be different. There's no cookie cutter. Hey, listen, you have to meditate for this long every day and you have to do yoga for this long every day, and you have, I mean, like your drivers. Even discipline in and of itself has to have some balance, because you have to be able, you know one day, to say like you know what, maybe maybe this day my son wants to go play catch, and then that's when I'm meditating, but that's when he can play catch, and it's okay that on this random Sunday I'm going to do that instead of meditate.
Speaker 3:That could be my meditation Right so nobody's judging you right, except for you, right, except for you. You're the one. It's probably better that you go play with your kids, so let's think about it, you know.
Speaker 2:Yeah, let's think about it. You know, yeah, yeah, and I, you know, I think that there's, there is, there is no perfect. The only thing that matters more than anything is the self-awareness to be able to recognize and then implement so that you can, like, be better than you were yesterday. I feel like, I feel like that's, that's the end game, that's if we can, if we can get to an end game of this conversation that kind of didn't go in the direction I thought it was going to go. But I love that for us because I think that it went where it needed to go, and that's why I love doing this, because it's just it's fun for me to just see how the conversation flows and get into that flow state. Um, and whatever comes out is what was meant to come out. Um, I'm gonna ask one final question, because I have to, because you're a yoga instructor. What is your favorite yoga pose? Well, we'll try to make some. Throw some yoga in here at some point. What was it? What?
Speaker 3:do you?
Speaker 2:do you have a favorite yoga?
Speaker 3:yeah, I mean child's pose is like yeah like you know my go-to.
Speaker 3:I mean you know I, I always like, when I was doing my yoga training too, I like was right when I had my baby, so like I always loved happy baby, like I'd always call it happy hanky and I would just, you know, and like he would do that too and we would just lie on our back and you know. But you know, I mean I am like I do kind of the old school yoga. You know my sun salutations and you know I I don't get too intricate on the postures but I love that grounding feel of like you know the the, you know just child's pose, when it's like you know you just the class is popping and you're just like. You know what I just need to like take a minute.
Speaker 3:Yeah, just like my third eye just on my mat and then you know. But I also like love, the you know playfulness of happy baby. It's like usually at the end of a class, you know, after a couple of backbends, when you're on your back and you're finishing up doing your final thing and I just have this really good memory of happy hanky. Every time I'm on my back I think about you know my kids and it's a nice way to enter Shavasana.
Speaker 2:That's how I enter Shavasana pretty much every time, private clients or otherwise. Yeah, it's always end with a happy baby because it's just it feels good, man, you know it just feels good and it's great for your. You know it's great for your. You know it's great for all the things, um, but I love that you mentioned like the grounding of your third eye, because I feel like your favorite yoga pose is exactly what we just had an entire conversation about. Like our whole conversation was about like self-awareness and hitting that point and just dropping in and realizing and I feel like that that particular yoga pose is a metaphor for everything that we just talked about and I love that. A lot of tracks, right, it totally tracks, it's totally tracks. See flow state. Right now it's happening. This is it, this is what it looks like, awesome. Well, nick, is there anything I mean? I would love to. Would you mind dropping your band's name so people can go check you out? Um, and I will happily tag you on instagram, but yeah, yeah, nick dunbar, um the cowboy band.
Speaker 3:We go by nick dunbar and sad cowboy and then I play in a bluegrass band called the lazy sky, but, um, everything is under my name, nick dunbar. You can go listen to my album on spotify under Nick Dunbar and follow me, nick W Dunbar and you know, come out and see a show and, uh, hopefully I'm in the flow state.
Speaker 2:You are, you are, I believe that you are. You know, like I said, we all have the areas where we're. We hit the flow state Like, and I feel like that's our natural, our passion, whatever it is, and I feel like the more that you integrate that into the other parts, it just turns into one big happy flow state Eventually. That's the goal right.
Speaker 3:On my way.
Speaker 2:We're all on our way, brother, we are all on our way, so I just want to thank you so much for for spending this time with me today, and let everyone else that is listening know that I appreciate each and every one of you for sharing this space with me, and so I ask that you please feel free to share the same with your loved ones. For more goodness, follow me on all the socials at Above the Ground Podcast and visit my website, airsaboveyogacom, and, as always, don't forget to check out my other episodes and my amazing sisters at divasthatcarecom. You can find us on Spotify, odyssey, apple, amazon, iheartradio or anywhere else you feel guided. Again, my name is Gia Raquel Rose, hanging out with Nick Dunbar. I own Heirs Above Yoga, and you are listening to Above the Ground Podcast, where every day is a good one. Thanks for listening.
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