From Burnout To Calm: Leadership That Heals

Come and listen to our Host, Candace Gish, as she chats with today's guest, Sam Willing, for our “Determined, Not Distracted” Podcast Series.

This mini-series serves as your blueprint for a high-impact year, distilling success into three non-negotiables: Goal Clarity, Resilience, and Commitment. By sharpening your focus, hardening your mental toughness, and anchoring your habits in discipline, you’ll shift from chasing temporary inspiration to achieving unstoppable, year-long momentum. 

Sam Willing is a strategic partner, transformational executive coach, and speaker with over 25 years of corporate experience in Organizational Development, People Strategy, and Culture Transformation. She is dedicated to equipping business leaders with the tools, confidence, and strategic insight to unlock their full potential, elevate leadership effectiveness, and drive meaningful impact—all while strengthening business performance.

With a compassionate yet results-driven approach, Sam partners with executives and teams to develop high-impact leadership skills, foster psychological safety, and align leadership behaviors with core values and business objectives. She creates a safe space for leaders to navigate challenges, embrace vulnerability, and build cultures rooted in trust, authenticity, and purpose.

Her work goes beyond personal and professional transformation—it delivers tangible business results. Research consistently shows that strong leadership directly impacts financial performance, and Sam’s clients experience increased employee engagement, improved decision-making, and sustainable business growth as a result of their leadership development.

By integrating self-awareness, emotional regulation, and strategic execution, Sam empowers leaders to drive results, create thriving workplace cultures, and lead with clarity and conviction—without sacrificing their values, well-being, or most cherished priorities.

Beyond coaching, Sam is the Founder & CEO of The Compassionate Collective, a social impact marketplace connecting artists and businesses in delivering messages of hope and compassion. She is also the host of the "Imperfection Wins" podcast, where she champions the power of embracing imperfection, self-compassion, and resilience in leadership and life.

https://www.samwilling.com/

We explore how nervous system regulation makes leadership skills stick and why women at every stage can replace burnout with grounded momentum. Sam Willing shares the story behind Regulate to Rise, the meaning of her cover art, and three daily practices to reset fast.

• why HR fit a people-first strategist
• advice on owning your path and personal brand
• biotech volatility and the decision to pivot
• coaching women with regulation at the core
• sympathetic versus parasympathetic in real life
• the book’s blend of story, science, and tools
• who the book serves and why it’s timely
• movement, breath, and self-compassion practices
• where to get the book and join a book club

For more Divas That Care Network Episodes visit www.divasthatcare.com

Transcript

Welcome & Series Setup

SPEAKER_02 0:00

It's Divas That Care Radio. Stories, strategies, and ideas to inspire positive change. Welcome to Divas That Care, a network of women committed to making our world a better place for everyone. This is a global movement for women, by women engaged in a collaborative effort to create a better world for future generations. To find out more about the movement, visit divas that care.com after the show. Right now, though, stay tuned for another jolt of inspiration.

Meet Sam Willing

SPEAKER_01 0:31

Well, hello everyone, and welcome back to the Divas That Care. My name is Candice Gish. If this is your very first time tuning into the Divas, a huge welcome. We are in our 16th season. We are listened to in over 35 countries around the world, and it is because of all of our amazing guests, our hosts, our tribe out there, that we're able to continue to do this to have inspiring guests on our program. So I just really thank you for checking us out today. We're very excited. We're going to be doing a podcast series. We're actually working on a mini-series, uh, which serves as a blue as your blueprint for a high impact year, distilling success into three non-negotiables: goal clarity, resilience, and commitment. By sharpening your focus, hardening your mental toughness, and anchoring your habits in discipline, you'll shift from chasing temporary inspiration to achieving unstoppable year-long momentum. Today I am very excited to have on Sam Willing. And Sam has been trying to get on to the D as I care for a while here. And I just want to apologize because I know that all of our listeners out there would have really been inspired by her, honestly, just with everything that she's doing. But we are finally able to get her onto our program, and I'm so excited. So welcome to the D as I care, Sam.

SPEAKER_03 1:44

Thank you so much. It is so amazing to be here. And um, you know, I know you and I have tried to schedule through the holidays and all the craziness, but like we were just saying before we started recording, I think the timing is probably just right.

SPEAKER_01 1:59

And you know what? I couldn't agree with you more. I'm excited, and I think it really aligns with what we're going to be talking about today.

SPEAKER_03 2:05

Agree.

SPEAKER_01 2:06

So, Sam, would you mind introducing yourself to our listeners today?

SPEAKER_03 2:11

Yes. My name is Sam Willing. I live in Bellevue, Washington, which is just about 10 minutes outside of the city of Seattle. I have two grown kids. They're 21 and 24, and they are in San Diego, living their best life in the sunshine. And I am an executive coach speaker, and I do a lot of culture strategic work inside organizations. So I spent about 29 years in corporate human resources. And for the last 14 years, I've had my own executive coaching business where I go come alongside leaders and equip them with leadership skills and help them build thriving organizations where people and culture thrive. And I just released my very first book called Regulate to Rise that launched on December 4th. And it is about the my own sort of epiphany around the link between effective, powerful, and sustainable leadership and nervous system regulation.

Choosing HR And Early Calling

SPEAKER_01 3:19

That is fascinating. I love that. And I really want to dive into this book a little bit deeper. But question I have for you is how did you decide to get into HR to begin with? What was it the driving force that got you there?

SPEAKER_03 3:32

You know, it's so, it's so funny. I think I when I started college, I actually was a hotel restaurant major. I had always dreamed of working in big, beautiful hotels. And I started doing in internships in hotels about my second year in college. And one of the rotations that I did was in an HR department. And I just knew it was for me. So I knew that I was going to be in HR from the time that I was about 19 years old. And when I look back now, I'm 50 now. When I look back now, I think it's not really a surprise that I ended up in HR. My nickname all growing up when I was a teenager and in college from my friends was the counselor. So I sort of was always that person that people would come to to solve problems or get advice. I love helping people. I am highly empathetic. But I also always loved business. So the business of HR was sort of a natural fit for me. But I will tell you, over the years, um, I think as I, especially as I stepped into leadership roles in HR, and especially over the last few years, just with all the craziness in the world, there were many moments where I scratched my head and thought, why didn't I just go into sales?

SPEAKER_01 5:00

No, I I completely agree. And I love this story because it's it's quite fascinating. I always want to know how people decide to get into the jobs that they're doing and and their their journeys. I find it quite fascinating because a lot of people, you know, though they don't realize, and I like that you were able to have that experience and then you were able to figure things out. You know, we have a lot of the young divas out there that are trying to figure things out right now. And even with my kids being in college, they're like, well, what do we do? They were very, they were struggling with that because there's a lot of opportunities out there, but they don't know which one's gonna work for them.

Own Your Path And Brand

SPEAKER_03 5:34

Yes. I love that. And I think, you know, one of the things for me that I realized over time was really, you know, I yes, I I've always been in human resources, but there was a very unique way that I showed up within that, um, within that career path. So what I think always made me successful in my career was my um my ability to connect and interact and relationship build with others, and also the way that my brain likes strategy and business strategy and pairing that relational piece with the strategic piece. And so I think it is easy, especially when you're young, to sort of start in a career path and then stay there. Um, and so for anyone that's thinking about what they want to do, I would say getting to know yourself, what makes you come alive, what you love, and then exploring, but always being clear about your own brand, your the your own way that you show up. Because I think any profession can be, you know, your ministry, so to speak, whether that's sales or HR, just the way that you interact and show up in the world is is always gonna be very unique to you.

SPEAKER_01 6:56

I love that. Thank you so much. And having that mental toughness too. You probably go through a lot of different things in life and just trying to figure that out, and it's okay to change your mind. I think a lot of people think, well, they've got to pick one career or they have to figure out one thing when they're younger, and then that's what that's have to stay with for the rest of their lives. But in reality, I don't think that happens very much anymore.

SPEAKER_03 7:20

No, I don't think it does either. And I think when you start to sort of lay down a lot of the rules or the the rigidity that um I think some of us were taught when we were younger in in a different generation where it's like you choose your path and then you stick to the path, and there's sort of a little bit of guilt and shame that was associated with not sticking to the path, right? Um I think now, you know, there's so much more information. There's so much more emphasis put on, you know, passion and where you find energy, your unique calling in the world. And, you know, those are kind of things I don't remember ever thinking about or having anyone ask me what I was passionate about. I think I finally asked myself when I was maybe in my 30s, but it just wasn't a common thing, you know. And um I think now for young people, it is encouraged. So I think the more we can encourage that and the more they can kind of find their lane. Um, I think it really is such a such a beautiful thing. And not be so afraid to make changes, you know. We we get to change and grow.

Coaching Focus And Biotech Pivot

SPEAKER_01 8:37

So tell me a little bit about this coaching, this executive coaching and your speaking, because I love that. I love going to listen to speakers, to be honest. I love how and what they say. It just it always inspires me. It makes me feel like, okay, I can do it. I I gives me that confidence. So let's talk about your speaking and and share with the people with our listeners today what you're doing.

Women, Burnout, And A Better Way

Inside The Book: Cover And Science

SPEAKER_03 8:58

Yeah. So the executive coaching that I do, um, it's funny, you know, about a year and a half ago, I was in a role, I was chief people officer at a company in Seattle, and we were a biotech company. Um, and biotech, I don't, for anyone listening that knows anything about the biotech industry, is really dynamic and wild. So I've spent a lot of time there. Um, companies that start in biotech have about a 90% failure rate. So it's sort of normal, sadly, for these companies to start experiencing high growth and fast pace. And then if something happens, they run out of money, or their drug takes longer to develop than they thought, or they fail in some way. They it's very normal for these companies to go out of business. So about a year and a half ago, I was laid off. Um I laid myself off, actually. The company I was with, we had um a failure. We failed our last clinical trial. And when that happened, I had to organize a layoff for the company. And that included me and most of my executive colleagues. The company stayed and maintained sort of a very small skeleton crew. Um, you know, and and when that happened, I'd already been in the executive coaching business on the side for years, where I had walked alongside leaders, men and women, helping equip them with leadership tools, with life tools. Um and when I was laid off, I decided to pause and really spend about three months thinking about what I wanted to do now. I knew that I wanted to be in coaching. I have always loved speaking. And what I um one of the things that up to that point I had been asked to speak on the most was compassion and compassionate leadership and how that shows up in culture and in our lives. So I sat for about three months just in a sort of reflection and creation mode and came to a couple of realizations. One, I decided that at moving forward, I was going to focus my executive coaching on women. And two, I realized that in all the coaching work that I do, if I am not also teaching leaders how to regulate their nervous system, so manage their stress response, find a place of calm, find a place of peace in their lives, then when the pressure hits, the coaching, the leadership skills that I was working so hard to equip them with would not stick. And so those were kind of the two big epiphanies that I had. And the nervous system regulation work really was born out of my own journey through my career path, um, spending so many years very dysregulated and kind of this pursuit of perfectionism and performance and pushing and pushing and striving and exhausting myself, for frankly, until I got to the point about three years ago where I lost my mom and was just swimming in grief. And it sort of turned everything upside down and it led me into a lot of healing work and nervous system regulation work. And so I realized after getting deep into that work, what a difference that made, not just in my life, but in the way that I showed up and led in organizations and in my coaching. So I started to roll that regulation work into the coaching work that I do with leaders, and the transformations have been incredible. So that's a little bit of a long way of answering your question. For when it comes to speaking, I love speaking about leadership. I love speaking about nervous system regulation and why it matters so much, not just in life, but also in leadership and how it works and how that happens. Um, and I love talking about compassion. So anytime I get asked to speak to a lot of, you know, at a women's conference or a women in leadership event, I get so excited because my passion at this point in my career and my life is really helping unlock women. Now, whether that's women in corporate spaces or new to career or college age, women in general, I just have such a deep desire to see them walking in an energy of freedom and energy and excitement and knowing their value. Um and yeah, that's what I love to do. And that really is what my book is about as well.

SPEAKER_01 13:51

Well, and I love it because there is an evolution in leadership right now. It's been going on for, I don't know, over 10 years for sure. But you we really see the shift in things that are happening. And the last five years, it's been extraordinary. And I think what you're doing, Sam, is really helping people with that mindset shift and change that they know is happening because the world seems to be doing that, but they don't know how to get there.

Who The Book Serves

SPEAKER_03 14:18

Yes, that's exactly right. They don't know how to get there. And so it's so interesting when I go speak um to women. One of the things that I hear consistently from women, you know, and a lot of the women that attend our C-suite women. I mean, they have sort of come up through the trenches, they found this amazing pinnacle of success by the world standards, and many of them are tearful. And after they will say, Now I feel seen and heard. I don't feel so alone. And the other thing that they all want is uh peace and joy. It's like, and you know, there's this belief that uh peace and joy can't coexist in leadership. That there's this view, is there's there's a sort of this old viewer practice of leadership where you're in the grind. And the most heartbreaking thing that I hear is when I am meeting one-on-one with a client who has built an amazing career, and she is burnt out, exhausted. She's sacrificed so much to get where she is. And, you know, oftentimes they'll say, Look, I just need to do this for a couple more years, and then I'm out. And it breaks my heart because it's like their only all their options to them are they stay in and suffer for a couple more years, and then they're fully out. And to me, it's like, but then you leave right at the moment where the world needs you the most because you have all the wisdom, all the skills, all the insight, all the experiences to share, but you're so burnt out, you don't have the energy to give it. Right. And so I just think there just has to be a better way. And like you said, we're in a leadership revolution and I I believe that and I want it to be true so badly.

Where To Find Sam & Book Clubs

SPEAKER_01 16:22

Oh, I love this. This is so great. I I'm having so much fun, Sam. I I know that you're gonna definitely be back on the Divazette care because there's a lot of things that we can talk about just about that.

SPEAKER_03 16:34

Yes, that makes me so happy.

SPEAKER_01 16:37

Well, and now I want to kind of because I know that we only have so much time here today, I want to talk about this book. And first, before we dive into your book, let's talk about your book cover. Oh, that is beautiful. And I want to know what was the inspiration.

Three Tools: Move, Breathe, Compassion

SPEAKER_03 16:52

Oh my gosh. Okay, the book cover is so special. My daughter drew it, first of all. Um, so that is so special. And she's 24, she's in grad school getting her degree in her master's in clinical counseling. And the inspiration for it really is to be a visual representation of our nervous system. So the rooted, grounded energy and sort of the light energy traveling up and and out from us. And it's that that tree on the cover is means so many things to me. It is the way that energy flows up and out when we're rooted and calm. Um, it's the way, you know, when if you think about our nervous system, and this is probably a whole nother podcast, but we have the two parts of the nervous system that I'm taught that I talk about in the book are our um our sympathetic, which is our fight or flight, sort of like energy, big energy going out, and our rest and digest, our parasympathetic nervous system, which is that really rooted, um, grounded energy. And so that's that was the inspiration for the cover. And the truth is we need both of those systems. And in a perfect state, we would be toggling back and forth between those two systems all the time. But what's happened to us as a society is most of us have gotten stuck in that high upper energy, that fight or flight energy. We've we've normalized being in that fight or flight space so much that our bodies forget how to calm down, how to come down into that rest and digest energy. So um, so that's that is the story about the cover.

SPEAKER_01 18:45

Love it. It's beautiful.

Closing & Listener Invitation

SPEAKER_03 18:47

Okay, so who is this book for? This book is for everyone. So, you know, the book, um, the stories, it's a blend of storytelling and science and then tangible, actionable resources for people. It's got leadership um tools in there that I use with my clients, but it also every single one of them are applicable to all human beings. So I say it's a book for human beings, it's a book for anyone that um finds themselves in that state of fight or flight, of worry, of an inability to be grounded and calm. Um, and they they're curious about a different way to do things. So it is um a fantastic book for leaders who are leading themselves and leading teams. But when I'm talking about leaders, of course, so much of the work that I do is with corporate leaders. Um, but you know, we're all leaders because we all have circles of influence, places in our lives where we have influence and the opportunity to lead, whether that be in our home, in volunteering, working in a nonprofit, we all have those spaces. So it's a book for human beings. And um, the feedback on it from people in corporate spaces and outside of those spaces has been fantastic. And quite honestly, if we could get this in the hands of um the 20-somethings that are gonna be our future leaders, that would be a huge win for them to be able to approach life and their work in a more regulated, grounded way.

SPEAKER_01 20:33

I love that. That's perfect. And we do have a lot of young change makers that are part of the DivaZec Care. So I appreciate you sharing with us about that because that is perfect. Great. So, Sam, where can our listeners go get a copy of your book? How can they go and follow you, check you out, and perhaps work with you?

SPEAKER_03 20:53

Yes, I love that question. The book is available on Amazon in three different um formats. And you can get it on Amazon. You can also get it and find me on my website, samwilling.com. Um, there's an opportunity there to sign up for my newsletter so you can be up to date on speaking events and different things. Um, and then my Instagram handle is Coach Sam Willing. One of the things that I'm getting a lot of interest in that's exciting is just last week we announced we're going to send out some resources and equip anyone that wants to have a virtual or in-person book club with some resources for that. So that might be something that some of your listeners are um interested in too.

SPEAKER_01 21:38

I love it when individuals like yourself come onto the podcast and they share that with us. And I love books. You know, I have the opportunity to work with a local library here and it's just so amazing, especially when we get our book clubs uh reading new books and they're always inspiring and sharing that with the rest of us. Yes, I totally agree. So, Sam, is there any last minute, you know, maybe tips or tools, things to inspire listeners?

SPEAKER_03 22:06

Yes, you know, what I would say to you is if I could tell you three things that you could do today to be more regulated, more calm, more grounded, it would be move, breathe, and have so much self-compassion. And the reason that the breathing and movement work so well is that when we are in fight or flight or in any sort of elevated state, we're getting a shot of cortisol into our body. And the thing that we must do is move the cortisol out. So if you feel physiologically elevated, like something's going on, I just want to encourage you, go take a walk, jump up and down, get on a treadmill, ride a bike, dance, anything to just shake the body and move that cortisol out. And the other fast way to do it is to really learn how to take those deep belly breaths and big size out and move that cortisol out of your body. And then the compassion piece, you know, um self-compassion is something that everyone needs more at more of. I really believe that every single person walking this earth has a unique calling on their life. And in order to fully realize that, we have to approach ourselves with so much grace, so much kindness, so much patience and love. And then that will pour out to everyone that we meet. And it really can change the world.

SPEAKER_01 23:38

Yes. Yes, it can.

SPEAKER_00 23:40

Oh, thank you so much, Sam, for coming out to the Diva's at care today. Thank you so much. And just thanks for having me. And I hope you have a wonderful rest of the day. I hope you do also.

SPEAKER_01 23:52

And as I said, I hope you come back on. You know, we have a lot of different mini-casts or mini podcasts happening this year, and we would love for you to be another guest on that.

SPEAKER_03 24:02

Any kind, anytime. It's been such a pleasure.

SPEAKER_01 24:05

Oh, thank you. And to all of our amazing listeners, thank you for checking out Determined Not Distracted Podcast Series. So excited that we had Sam Willing on our podcast. And so make sure that you check out her book. Make sure you check out her website here. I love it. I'm going to be posting it on all of our social media for you guys to go and check out. So one of the things I always ask our listeners is if you could like, share, and comment, make sure that you're sending this to your friends and family. This book is quite beautiful, guys. I think you're going to love just the aesthetic of it. You know, you want to, I'm always a person that you never judge a book by its cover, but when you find a cover that really resonates with your soul, that's when you really need to pick it up. So this is an amazing book cover, and I want you guys to go check it out and make sure that you send this podcast to all your friends and family. So, Sam, thank you again. Thank you to all of our listeners, and I hope that each and every one of you has an amazing day. Until next time, everyone.

SPEAKER_02 25:02

Thanks for listening. This show was brought to you by Divas That Care. Connect with us on Facebook, on Instagram, and of course on divas that care.com, where you can subscribe to our newsletter so you don't miss a thing.