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Hey Hi welcome to moments and Q with me Mama Q. Now before I begin this week's episode, I want to let you know that I really listened to the podcast multiple times I decided to make some changes. I am glad that you are here listening to me I am 99.9% positive that it will be better however I learned that I made a couple of mistakes you know shit happens but I am mature woman enough to let you know when I fuck up. Drama is to be perfectly I don't always get that. So I have made a statement about wearing white during a funeral. It's also used to protect yourself against spirits. I mentioned something about John the Conqueror route. Unfortunately, my nose did not expound on it and I'm gonna be quite honest with you. I listened to their podcast so many times and I'm not a fan of it. So I don't want to listen to it again. All right. So in queue today will be high why Black business who do who do and kinky are now Oh, before we go to the next segment, I want to let you know that I will share my episode every other Thursday and Sunday, which essentially is weekly Spirit told me that I can do it twice a week and let me tell you when they tell me to do something, I sit the fuck down Hi why in this segment, I inform you the purpose of the episode. Today you will learn about ethical non monogamous relationships better known as E in L. More specifically, you learn about polyamory and polygamy. Thanks to social media yay. or no depending on how you feel. These alternative lifestyles are starting to become mainstream. Speaking of social media, I will inform you of the different polyamorous black polyamory year black polyamorous social media accounts that I follow. I'll inform you about books that I've read about polyamory I will talk about my polyamory this might be two episodes we shall see. And last but not least, I will inform you as to why you probably don't want to eat everybody spaghetti black business I highlight a black business that I follow or have supported before. I think it's very important for us to support our black businesses. So unless I say that I get paid for it is for the free and I see nothing wrong with it. There's enough money out there for all of us to get it. Okay. All right. So for IG today, I follow Polly Table Talk and black poly nation. Their IG names will be in the show notes who do Who do I talk about spirituality more specifically who especially being a citizen of mojo city gotta talk about Memphis man. Speaking of you can call me go mouth that's what I said. Hey baby you gonna eat show calm bread because it looked like to me you did already with some nice butter rose voodoo spaghetti already got me hypnotized under a spell that was project pet whose project pet I'm glad you X Project pet a negative is down for his crowd domain if you're asked stop I'm gonna be downtown me for for a bow Mendes if I get called me. Push me to the air. So really ain't my fault me. Looking for a project that way anyway. All right. So I wanted to talk about the fact that at least for me, growing up in Memphis, Tennessee keys, I was always taught by my grandma not to eat everybody's spaghetti and also to burn or flush your hair down the toilet. Now, the reason I was told about your hair is that if you didn't burn or flush your hair, then a bird's nest could a bird could get it and use it to make a nest and then you'll get migraines and who wants to have migraines? I know I don't want to. That's not something I don't think anybody wants to have. And it's not until I started going down this journey that I'm like, wait a fuckin minute. There is a reason a method to the man And is it's, it's crazy. Now, obviously, I am not going to tell anybody like any workings or anything like that. That's no, that's not what I do. But I will tell you things that don't is public information, and I hope to inform you not to do these things. Okay? So I learned about personal concerns, and when it comes to spaghetti, knowing that the color of spaghetti is wood, red, you know, what about that. And when it comes to doing workings, if you have somebody's personal concerns, you can really, you know, do some things with it. And while there may be gone a whole entire rabbit hole of thoughts in my mind, because for me, I always want to know, the method to the man is the why why people do the things they do. And so I was wondering, and I don't know the answer, hence why I'm wondering, I don't know the answer, per se, I can make assumptions. But you know, what happens when you make assumptions. But I have assumptions as to why people would want to put, you know, their menstrual cycle, or even if it's not their menstrual cycle, just put blood in spaghetti with someone who they quote, unquote, love. Um, so here's are some thoughts that came in mind. Yeah, all right. So, um, for me, I feel like when it comes to a lot of things within the black communities, I feel like white supremacy can be the root of it. Seriously, I know that some people be like, oh, you know, don't play the race car, yada, yada, yada, etc, etc. Bucha bushy, bushy. I don't think it's the race car. When is factual, actual truth. All right. So I don't know I was thinking about it upon my research and learnings. Way back in the days when enslaved ancestors were abducted here. They would unfortunately grossly, disgustingly rape the Oh, I'm so sorry. Let me start is that talk about enslavement, there will be trigger warnings for probably PTSD, sexual assault and things of that nature. So if you have to fast forward, I totally understand and I apologize for not giving you the trigger warning earlier than that. So I'm with the enslavement in order for them to have more slaves. Yeah, they would procreate, which that's, I'm just trying to be nice instead of being graphic, but they would procreate, whether it was a slave owner, were procreate with the enslaved woman, or if the enslaved men and women would be forced to procreate with each other. And I, if I'm not mistaken from learning's also found out that sometimes they would have them spread across in different plantations to do that, because, you know, depending on how the slaves look on physical features, you know, that would determine if they would be inside or outside. And then they would also think of that as far as DNA, so how the enslaved children would look like, and so yeah, just just roll with me. Okay. And so, that made me thinking, Okay, papa was a Rolling Stone. And I've heard many stories of how you would go to a person would go to a funeral, and they would find out, hey, you're my cousin or find out that Papo when he died, had like, a lot of families. Again, I wondered, did that have anything to do with it been ingrained to a certain degree of enslavement? So what was the other thing I wanted to talk about in regards to that also, with like, I just say with them having different families at different locations, and keeping them apart? So of course, I know this stuff to be true from my readings. Now, the rest of these assumptions, hypotheticals, what have you, it's just me trying to put some logic to it. So it makes me wonder that if someone would want to do a personal concern, to keep their significant other close now, you know, I try my absolute best to use gender neutral language, and I try my absolute best not to fit these heteronormative thought processes and speech of sorts. But for this conversation will it will be a monologue shall not responded to me, but for this, it's an it's going to be a lot of heterosexual cisgender NISS going on, because that's all that I know. And not to say that I I'm transgender people, and homosexual people did not exist back then is just from my learning, and a little bit of research. I don't know too much about that. So again, please understand that it's not then me intentionally trying to leave that bit of information out. It's just that I'm not very familiar with it. Okay. So it just makes me wonder back again, that more specifically women, if that's why they quote unquote, put blood into their spaghetti and fed it to their man in hopes of keeping him nearby, in nearby with, with her hat receiving money from him, things of that nature. Now. See? Okay, so here's another thing with that is I'm thinking about this some more, I could have sworn that black women were allowed to work. So I don't, at will, I don't. Yeah, so I don't know the exact moment in time, when they couldn't work. As far as like receiving wages. Now, I think there may be life was a little bit quote unquote, better as far as finances are concerned versus now. Slightly better, where maybe the man could work and be able to take care of his children's. And that's why maybe the women would stay home with the children. Not for certain, did not get to really delve deep into that. Because as long as I've known my elders, they weren't. So yeah, I don't know. But either way, it just made me wonder if it was better. And like that, blue song says cheaper to keep her. But this time, we're talking about a him so maybe if it was better to keep the guy in the house, whether that was the husband, or the boyfriend would have you the lover, etcetera, etcetera. And so, and so if that was the case, then maybe that's why they would do that. Now. I'm not saying that it's wrong or right. I think now in 2023, that that's not correct. That's not something I would want to do. But who am I to say, what someone should or shouldn't do? So for me, I would not want to do there because I would want someone and you'll learn as I dive deeper into the podcast, that I want somebody to love me on their own and to love me, consensually. So I will not want to do that. I don't want to bind myself to anybody at all on this is conceptual leave and then using a personal concern of mine and or there's no I don't want to do that. But I could understand back during those times why you would want to do that. So I don't know if that was just some interesting thoughts. That was in my mind in regards to that. So huh? It's very interesting to me. And I'll probably say multiple times as I go down this lovely journey all these quote unquote wives tales that my grandma my grandma rest or so told me that he has on spirituality, bonded method to madness and some who do. Kinky or nah, that's when I talk about kinky shit. And I hope that I can convince you to come over to the dark side. You know why? Because we have candles. Alright, so here we are going to talk about polyamory. Now, before I begin, I like to give you definitions. I think the fair helps. For some reason. There's nothing wrong with that. You know, most of the time, when you read a book, or listen to a book, now, you know that you can listen to book audibles. They have the glossary in the back. Nothing's wrong with that at all. But I want to do something different. I want to give you some definitions first, I think that might help out. The conversation will like I said the monologue a little bit better. Now, I'm ready to describe this meme that I'm looking at. If you follow me on IG, you will be able to see it. It'll make more sense. Okay. So the name of this comic strip. Origins mean, what have you is called the diversity of love relationships, concepts. So there's a person in the middle, I don't know the person's name, so we're just gonna say person, okay. And then there's another person named Alex and Kim. Okay. So the first square goes, I'm filling love for Alex and kill. Nick square, Adela. As mono armory, and Maria me, it says, but only one of them can be real love. So I've decided for Alex and I will forget about Kim. Cheating. This is for my partner also doesn't know that I'm having an affair with Kim. Next square don't X don't tell. My partner Alex allowed me to have affairs but we don't talk about who it is or what I do with them. Next square, open relationship. My partner Alex knows that I'm having an affair with Calum. Alex prefers to have one nightstand occasionally, polygamy, and I'm married to both of them. I'm not legally recognized in every country. But our relate our religion supports multiple marriage, poly fidelity, and they love each other too. We're close. Try it. None of us can have other partners or affairs, hierarchical polyamory. They're both my partners. But Kim knows that Alex, as my primary partner always comes first, egalitarian polyamory. They're both my partners, and none of them is generally more important. Kim and Alex also have other partners solo polyamory, they're both my parents. I mean, I'm sorry, my parents, they're both my partners. But I don't want to move in or marry any of them. I need a lot of autonomy in time and space for myself. And lastly, relationship anarchy, just like for all of my friends, more or less, or interact with everyone in the individual way that feels right for both of us. I don't care if anyone calls us quote unquote, partners or not. So that's the end of the mean. And you're gonna find out that there's a lot of things that I say a lot. Sarna, sorry, that's just how I am. But anyway, so as I've said before, and I'll say it again, but this time, I'll use the color pink, pink. Okay, so when it comes to these ethical, non monogamous relationships, more specifically for this polyamory because I'm a polyamorous person, and that's what I have the most knowledge and experience in. Okay, so when it comes to polyamory, we can call it pink because everything's pink in the center. Um, when it comes to our own personal definitions of different types of polyamory that could be a different shade of pink, it could be no hot pink, baby pink, blush, Rose, different shades of pink. And I use that analogy, because, again, when it comes to polyamory, monogamy, what have you when it comes to relationships period, when you describe the type of relationship you're in, you have a general when the person hears it, they have a general idea of what that means. And then you can go off to your own shaded version of the color, and talk about what that relationship means to you. I am a person that is solo polyamory, also egalitarian, and our relationship and our kids. And luckily for y'all see, that's why it's important to have the glossary in the beginning. See, y'all already have a general idea what those definitions, definitions means. So therefore, I can tell you what they mean to me. So people who have heard me on another podcast talk about polyamory and or heard me within my local dungeon, I will repeat myself it is what it is because some of the people in my audience didn't hear me speak before. So what have you whatever, but I want to let y'all know that I'm at home. That's the actually that's the Janae I go song. It's called happiness over everything. And that's how I consider myself when it comes to my solo polyamory. It's all about me, to a certain degree. I cannot be an effective partner to my partner, nor can I be a great submissive to my Dom If I don't take care of myself. So I think that that's very important for me to have autonomy over myself over my body, and I get to make decisions for myself and I am my primary partner because if I am not happy with myself, how can I ensure that my partners are happy with me? Now before I go in, in case you didn't hear the first episode, which I encourage you to give it a chance for referral? I am in a BDSM relationship with my dominant he does not live with me or near me. I will always Please refer to him as my dominant. I do have a partner who I love a whole bunch. He is my partner. Because first of all, as I said, I like to use gender neutral relationship, I mean, gender neutral verbiage and this relationship that I mean, I feel as someone who will be turning 40 This year a, that I am too old to quote unquote too old to say this someone's my boyfriend. And like I said, I like to use gender neutral verbiage. So say my man, I mean, there's nothing wrong with saying it, but I like partner, and my partner does is the epitome of the definition of a partner, he does have my back he he is there for me. So therefore he is my partner. And my SIR is just my sir, I submit to Him. Now, you might think, Huh, if your partner's all of this and a bag of chips, why do you have a dominant? See? Glad you X. Um, for me, I don't think that I could love one person. Um, when I'm Shanga I was into polyamory, but just like BDSM I didn't know the name for it. And I always wanted to let everybody know, I remember, I was with my high school sweetheart. When I was in college, it was a long distance relationship. And there was this guy had a crush on me. And I asked him like, Yo, do you want to be my second boyfriend? Of course, he said no. And that made me sad, and a good chunk of my life during that time, and even now, but I owe my shit now. So yay, for therapy and for a progression. But I thought something was wrong with me. Because, you know, here I am trying to tell you like, hey, you know, I have somebody else but I want you to. And so that kind of forced me to want to be monogamous because I felt there something was wrong with me to not want to follow the tide of the water. Um, even though these are things that I felt was okay. But at the time, you know, early 2000s Oh, my gosh, social media was even existing during that time, but you know, it's just it wasn't that many books, websites anything for me to even know what polyamory was, you know, all I knew growing up was monogamy. And so, um, yeah, I just tried it and it didn't work. And so I kind of like forced myself to want to be monogamous until I got into the BDSM lifestyle. And not everybody in the BDSM lifestyle are polyamorous or people that are into ethical, non monogamous relationships. However, there are some and that's when I learned about polyamory. I'm like, okay, so this works. Because also, sometimes I do need my space. It just depends. And because sometimes I need my space. I'm a heavy introvert. I just want to be by myself from time to time, although my current partner is bringing that out of me. But either way, because I can ramble and I can talk about this on and on, I'm gonna try my best to limit my ramblings and I'm gonna try my best to succinctly wrap up this segment, I'm not done, but I'm gonna try my absolute best to not drag it on. Because yeah, when it comes to things that I love, and knowledgeable enough in a carry conversation, I could go for hours and hours, okay, told you love me some music and some analogies anywho back to that. And I don't want to put a lot of pressure on a partner. That's just not me. I don't want to control anybody either. Unless it's conceptually, like I said, I don't want to be a female dominant. But um, I know, humans are going to do where fuck they want to do. And I'm an adult. So it's like, you know, for me, when it comes to explaining polyamory. The very first thing is when it comes to these relationships, the word ethical comes to it, which means basically, you have to be honest with your intentions in what you are. And I know the small caveat to that is a Don't Ask Don't Tell However, it's still consensual is just, hey, here are my boundaries. I don't want you to tell me about another partner. So therefore, you can do whatever it is that we agreed upon. But I just don't want to know like Mario one and said, so. Alright, so for me, I have to let everybody know so they can consent and make a uniform decision only if they want to deal with me or not. So that's very important to me. And because I can't be all over the place, I don't want somebody to think that they have to be my all. I feel like when it comes to friendships to a certain degree, this is how some people are with their friends, where it's like, okay, well, I'm a friend, with so and so so and so, or whatever. And so, if I want to turn up tear to club of all this stuff, I'll hang out with this friend. Now if I want to do some classy shit alternative with a different friends. So it's like if people in my opinion, of course, if people can be this way, when it comes to their friends, what's wrong with being this way with their partners? Again, there is no wrong or right answer to how anybody wants to do their relationships, I do encourage people to put the conceptual the ethical portion of the by informing them, because there is because cheating can occur when it comes to live in these alternative lifestyles and cheating, is anything that you can send it to that the person wait it, sorry, cheating, is when you have a general way that you want your relationship to go. And the person doesn't, doesn't do it. And so. So for example, if you consented to your relationship, and this doesn't matter if you're monogamous or not, but if you consent to having your relationship where, you know, you use protection, and you intentionally knowingly deny us protection, when you engage in coitus with someone, then yeah, that's cheating, because we had ourselves and understanding, we both consented to this action, and you did not do to say that you will do so yeah. Now some people might say, you know, there's not cheating, but either way, to me, that's what it is. If we have ourselves a consensus on how we want to go about our relationship and you deviate for that one, deviate away from it, and there's cheating now I do understand that feelings and thoughts can change. So again, that's something different to me. It is again, the why behind it. Did I don't know how that could happen. But did you decided to have unprotected sex knowingly did you decide to have unprotected sex within That's cheating? But if I don't know how some way somehow you had unprotected sex, maybe you put the condom on and it burst and you didn't know that, okay, there's something different than knowingly going in wrong. That's how I view it. And again, back to relationships, again, let's talk about former Vice President Pence. I remember reading about him with his relationship with his wife, where he doesn't go out with a woman of the world well with a woman without his wife present. Now, I would think that if he does go out without his wife being present, and that could be cheating, but that is a way again, there's somebody who does have a monogamous relationship, that's their boundaries, and their expectations. So, you know, when I was monogamous, I would think that that will be weird. Like, okay, you have friends, I have friends, it's okay. So that's what I mean. I'm not insult your intelligence. But that's what I mean, when I say like, you know, we all have different thoughts and expectations on how our relationships should or could go. Alright, so that's pretty much the solo polyamory. I talked about relationship anarchy a little bit during my whole spiel, but I'll just back up just a little bit. So with me with my relationship in arcane, again, I don't want to control nobody, I don't want to be controlled. And so I treat them our relationship varies, and I treat them possibly a little different, because they do bring out different sides to me. And then that also makes me go over a little bit into egalitarian because, for me, everybody is on the same level playing field. Now at times, it can be somebody can be a little bit more important than the other person. Um, but I feel like that's different than hierarchy where, you know, again, I have not ever been in a hierarchy polyamory but I would assume that when it comes to that hierarchy within the polyamorous maybe there's a couple that's married and they bring in a third person, so now they're trying right. Okay. And so because, you know, maybe the married couple has been together long they share finances, they have children's together or not either way, something to that extent, they might say hey, We're going to put each other first and our other partner will have to wait later. So if the other partner needs some Bill money or something, I'm just throwing something out there. Once the spouse gets taken care of, then you can care it's going to leave for a while. And so when he leaves most likely, um, if I am talking to my sir, I will probably have to talk to my SIR later, regardless of the fact because we'll, we won't be able to be around each other and see each other and we'll be on different time zones. So you know, it's one of those things where most likely I could probably talk to my sir, again, more quickly than I probably could be able to talk to my partner. So that's what I mean when I say egalitarian, and relationship anarchy. Again, you know, at the end of the day, whatever works for someone works for them. Um, what else that I want to talk about that um, I also believe within my polyamory because poly means many Emery means love. So for me, when it comes to that, I have no problem with wanting to love my lovers now. Yeah, for me. There's a difference between being a partner of mine and a lover. A partner of mine, like I already stated is like the equivalent to having a boyfriend or a man. How ever a lover is just a nicer way to say friends with benefits, because I think that the way that I was with my Lord is I no longer have them. One fired himself and the other one I fired him. So bystanders, sorry, not sorry, but when they were my lovers, I feel like we had a deep connection. I had a deep connection with them. Because at this age, I'm way beyond surface level bullshit. I don't mind doing small talk and surface level. But for the most part, if I want to be friends with someone, I want to be able to feel comfortable enough to be who the fuck that I am. So therefore, surface level just won't work for me. And so with my lovers, we had deep conversations about life, you know, went out on dates, you know, it to me, it was more than just six so because it was more than just six that's why I would consider them. Um, lovers. There might have been one that was friends with benefits, but even still, I I still felt the love and for me, I think this society tries to make people love quicker, or now love alone. What I mean by that is think about if you tell somebody you love them, you hope expect for the person say they love you back. I think that that could put some unnecessary pressure on someone to want to say that now there are some people who will say, I don't love you, because I've had some people tell me that person unfortunate was probably trying to lowball me, but I caught it in time. But I remember someone who had told me like, Oh, I like you, and I want to be with you. And I'm like, you just met me with the fuck, you know? And who knows? No, I don't care if this shoe was real or not, that was some scary stuff. It it was giving me creepy vibes couldn't do it. But, you know, I feel like people want to hear I love you back ego booster, whatever the situation is, I feel like that's what they want to hear. I don't necessarily have to hear that. I want someone to love me whenever they're ready and on their own. So I told my lovers like hey, you know, I love you, you don't have to tell me that you love me back. But these are the feelings that I have for you what you want to do with it. So that's just the way that it was. And I was okay with it. So, you know, whatever I know, I think pretty out the box, but just those are just my thoughts. So let's see. I have been with this partner since July of last year, you can do the math yourself. Being with my dominance since 2015. You can do the math yourself. I did have a previous quote unquote polyamorous relationship. The reason that I say that was quote unquote, because year he was not very honest and truthful of bowel polyamory, if anything, I really think he was more open to an open relationship and that's not something that I wanted to do it was okay if he did it, but I didn't want to. He wanted us to have a try it. Um, yeah. The women he liked I didn't like them. So I was okay. I was like, You can have whatever girlfriend just use protection because we didn't use protection at the time no suit and just tell me and that's it. He wanted to operate off of a opp Yeah, you know me. He wanted to have a one penis policy, you know, do you want control me that way? It's usually cisgender men that have this one penis policy. I have heard of cisgender women wanting to have a one policy policy not for sure how real that is. But maybe real wasn't a great way. Not, not for sure how. How often a woman will want to have that. Now again, there are some relationships that have the one penis will I'm sorry, the one whatever policy you know, I see nothing wrong with those as long as everybody consent. But in my experience, it's usually the man who wants to be with two women, one of the women or hopefully both of them they're hoping for is bisexual, so that, you know they can sleep with each other and sleep with him. And so basically the bisexuality is for the expense of the man the betterment enjoyment of him you I don't like that That's fucked up. Now again, I do know some people who would want to be polyamorous and would want to have a one penis policy and that's a decision that they made on their own and or with their partner. And I think that's also what I am not a fan of. And what I don't want to support again, is controlling, forcing someone to make decisions and to be in relationships that they don't want to be at all I do know of some women who are swingers and they are fake bisexuals, they want to be bisexual to please their partner which I don't agree with. Or they won't women or try to holler women again for for the enjoyment of their man. Yeah, not cool to me at all. So it'll be situations like that. And I think that that's from a what is the word I'm looking for? Not ego well, maybe ego but I'm beholden word fucking escapes me. Either way. Low self esteem, no control. Yeah, definitely controlling kick another word damage damage damage. Either way. Point is, I think when it comes to having a relationship like that. I think it's very one sided, and it's wrong. And I don't think that another person should be added to just be for the sexual aspect unless that's what the person consent to. So yes, so that's how I feel about it. There's another type of polyamory that I think will be cool. It's called Kitchen Table polyamory. And so that's basically when you can get your partners and their metaphors, which means your partners partners together at the kitchen table, like cool with it, you know, I think that would be great. Because again, I'm that type of person where I want everybody to be able to be informed and make decisions. But, you know, I know that that's not possible. So that's what it is when it comes to polyamory. All right. So the next thing to talk about under this is to explain to you about the polygamy. So polygamy is a person with multiple spouses. polygyny is a husband with multiple wives polyamory, I mean, I'm sorry. Now polyamory, polyandry, is a wife with multiple husbands. Now, what I see on social media, which is a little bit aggravating is I see polygamy a lot. And most of the time, the polygamy is polygyny. And again, it appears to be just the sexual aspect of it that I don't like and it appears that it's usually one cisgender man with two cisgender women, and they're all in like an apartment, the folk and their thing is nation building. I like that. But again, they consent to a coup, but sometimes don't feel like it's consensual. I feel like they sometimes the women that participate in it is either forced to be with it, or they just want to keep the man which again, that's still coercion and I don't like it. So obviously, that's not the only type of way that people can have their ethical, non monogamous relationships. Okay. Laramie, as you may or might may or may not know, exists in certain religions. I really don't feel like I'm talking about Christianity today. But you know, if you're a Christian know about Christian Christianity, Bible, it's all up in there. And if I'm not mistaken, people who practice Islam, but I'm not a practitioner of it, so I can't talk about it, too well, but I think the dance in the Koran possibly, um, but when it comes to these polygamous relationships in the United States, if I'm not mistaken, um, is only okay and Utah if you're Mormon. So yeah. And also so with that being said, it's almost like you're doing on polyamory? Well, I feel like it's basically polyamory because you cannot be married two years, you can only be married to one spouse. Now, with my understanding when it comes to being in a polygamous relationship. The spouses don't live in a two or three bedroom apartment, or a house like they have their own. I am trying to think of this show on HBO. Oh, my goodness that escapes me. Where he was a Mormon. What was it called Polly, I can't remember either, who is either way, either who he had his three wives in their own house, it was connect us on the hour. So when you pass by the house, you will see three houses, which is great. But in the back of their houses, remove the fence. And so it was three homes together as far as like a townhome, kind of situation. But still point is they have their own space. And I think that that will be better. Because okay, if you get aggravated and annoyed, where are you going to be able to go? Or if something happens to the relationship? And you don't have any rights? Like, where are you going to go? So that's just, you know, that's just my thought process to it. Again, now, polygamists at all don't know that much about it. All right. So let me see polyandry. I researched again, and found out that there are some African countries that have polyandrous relationships. And I'm not too familiar how that would go, because that's not very, let me see, what's the word I'm looking for? It's not a majority type of thing. I would definitely think that I don't wouldn't want to have that. But I think that that could possibly be a little bit better. Then polygynous relationship, because I don't know, sometimes not all the time. But sometimes I feel like women, for the most part, aren't always as controlling and selfish to a certain extent, like how I feel like sometimes men can be. So yeah, I think that there could possibly be okay. But you know, what society unfortunately, they'll talk shit about the man and accuse him of being a homosexual. If, if we're talking about heterosexual people in this polyandrous relationship. And of course, that disgusting thing is like, oh, you know, they can only have like, one. One, a woman can only have one baby a year or something like that. And, you know, if you do the other way around is nation building and stuff. And it's like, maybe they don't want to have children or maybe, you know, because here comes my brain again. But you know, when it comes to pregnancy, you know, that's a lot on a woman. So I think that would be better to be surrounded by support system, especially if it's the men to support during this pregnancy versus all the stress that could occur with trying to help cope with all these women, and the hormones and children and everything like that. But I digress. Because again, I can go on and on about that. But let me talk about a couple of things that I've seen in the not the news, per se, but just in media and stuff. I'm in Somerville, Massachusetts in 2020. That city recognize multi partner domestic, multi parent, domestic partnership, which is pretty cool. That's a progression. Here we are in 2023. There is a TLC show call seeking brother husband where it shows polyandry. I cannot think of the lady name. Um, that's only but I used to follow her at one point and I own it. So I at least believe that that's real. I know, sometimes people will say, Oh, you know, when it comes to these relationships or whatnot, you know, maybe they're not on there. I'm being authentic. But last time I have followed that woman, she even had classes. So at least believe it, that one is real. And there's this show doesn't come on anymore. It's called motherland for Salem, which I think is pretty cool because it was about witches. And with the witches, they had a fuckup, there were nature, matron line, ah, maternal loving, either way, instead of a being returner was maternal, so it was a line where you would go through the mothers and, and with that, that was pretty cool, especially with the spiritual well being witches. So with the spiritual side of that, I thought that was cool. But also, because it was that type of line, they would have husbands. So that would be a polyandrous relationship. Now, I can't remember if they married all of them. But the point is that there will be more than one man in the household. So when the female which would grow up, she would grow up having multiple fathers, that would help take care of her. So I thought that was pretty cool. So for me, it's cool to continue to live these lifestyles that I live, and when I see them in the media, I'm like, Okay, now sometimes they don't get it, get it right. But again, I do enjoy viewing it when I do see it. Now, the last thing I'm gonna talk about are books. I love reading, I love learning. And books has really helped me learn and be able to, again, articulate how I feel, and how I would want a relationship to go. So the books that I've read, that helped was ethical slut, more than two, tongue tied and Polly secure. I'll tell you the author's in the show notes and stuff. Um, but yeah. Again, like I said, I could go on and on about this, but I'm not gonna talk your ear off. More than I have already done. Hopefully, I wasn't rambling. But yeah. So I think in conclusion that it's awesome to see that. The Why, of course, behind the the reason that people do these alternative lifestyles, and possibly the history that could make our brains want to do what, what it is that we decided to do. And that was the whole point of this is to show that everybody, of course, regardless of the type of relationship that they have, there, we're all different, the way that we do our relationships, it's different, it can be different, and we don't always have to go with this monogamous way. And even though some of the examples I used did include, um, cisgender and heterosexual people to a certain degree, obviously, when it comes to polyamory, it doesn't matter. As long as we're consenting adults, of course, but you know, it doesn't matter. Your gender or the way you present yourself when it comes to these relationships, it's you know, a triad is still a triad is still polyamory, you know, so it's just not for isn't just not hair heteronormative type of thing. So, hope you enjoy this arm. I'm going to listen to it again, if I feel like the need to go on about some more I might because I kind of do want to unpack polygamy just a little bit more and involve the Bible to it, but we'll see how I feel